09/05/2017 EastEnders

DOORBELL RINGS

Morning, Abs.

-Oh!

-I'm giving Lauren a lift to work this morning.

I just thought I'd pop by, see how you're getting on.

Oh, as in, since you've got nothing better to do, you mean?

What's your problem?

Well, some of us have to catch the bus and I'm late.

Well, I'll give you a lift an' all, if you want.

-Blimey.

-I'm not going to apologise because it's not my mess!

-Boys, eh?

-Donna's just as bad.

I went on strike last night and they didn't even notice.

And now one of them's gone and swiped my last pro-biotic yogurt.

Ooh! Now that's serious.

Don't! I'm the only one that does any shopping.

All they do is take my stuff.

I almost wish I was back at Grandma's.

Listen, I just wanted to see if you wanted anything.

You know, flat-warming present.

Oh. Actually, come to think of it, there is.

Still no Kush?

I'm glad you're here, though.

Two ticks.

The thing is, Carm...

I said, in a minute.

-TV:

-Smelling amazing...

PHONE VIBRATES

..smells fantastic.

Hello, Kushy, sweetheart, I'm a bit worried about you.

Give us a call when you get this, will you?

It's your mum.

What?

There was a bloke fly-pitching knickers here first thing.

Think he's still around somewhere.

Right. Fine.

Ricky, come on, mate, you're going to be late for school!

-How'd it go, anyway?

-Yeah, he was a little star, weren't you, mate?

Ricky, seriously, mate, you're going to be late!

Is it going to make things easier if I hold on to him for the morning?

Oh, no, no. You're all right, thanks all the same.

Yeah, if it's going to help you out...

Nah, nah, honestly. It'll be fine.

It's not like I've got anything else to do.

You sure?

Yeah!

I mean, as long as you are,

I'll pick him up from Dot's around lunchtime-ish, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whenever. All right.

Seems like you're stuck with me, man.

See you later, you little chunky monkey.

You be good for your Uncle Charlie, yeah?

Give us a kiss.

KNOCKING

-All right?

-Yeah. It's all right -

me and Matthew are just leaving. See you, Jack.

Yeah, cheers, mate. Good luck. All the best. See you later, mate.

Max, now's not a good time. I've got to get Ricky to school.

I'm not stopping. Didn't leave a black folder here yesterday?

Yeah, yeah - I was going to call you, actually.

So it went all right, did it, with Charlie and Matthew last night?

Yeah, considering Amy was ill.

-There you go.

-Cheers. That's good.

Yeah, he did me a right favour, actually.

That's good.

Ricky? Right!

Well, even if it IS chicken pox, ain't the end of the world.

Well, Steven said I shouldn't go in.

Oh, come on! Look, it's only her second day!

Yeah, I know, but if he is ill...

Well, if he is, I know where to find her.

If he does start coming down with it,

-you can give me a call, can't ya?

-Yeah.

I might be able to work from home.

It's chicken pox, all right? The sooner he gets it the better.

It'll be out the way, then.

-Oi!

-What?

-You're fasting.

-It's just a piece of toast.

What is the point of having these tests if you're not going to do it properly?

Are you wearing your watch? Yes, good.

-KNOCK

-Hello?

-In here.

-How you doing, all right?

All right.

You all right, Lauren?

No, she's worried that Louie's going to get chicken pox.

Oh, yeah. I've just come from Jack's. I mean, Amy's still got it.

-It's a bit of a pain, it's nothing to worry about.

-I know - that's what I said.

-Right, let's go. Come on, we're late.

-All right. Right, see you later, sweetheart.

You be good for Auntie Stacey, yeah?

-Got Abi in the car.

-Oh, why?

Cos I'm being Dad Cabs, aren't I?

Do I not get a kiss?

Sorry.

Oh, Stacey. Listen, if he does start getting poorly...

I will call you, I promise.

How are you two doin', all right?

Um... Well, Ian's got his test for diabetes today,

but apart from that...

Oh. Good luck with that, mate - I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Cheers.

See you later.

Right. I'm going to go dress for work.

What?

Max?

What about him?

Well, if it was the other way round,

I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.

I don't know how he does it.

-Oh, Dee?

-Not now, Kim.

-Where you going?

-Does it matter?

-What's eating you?

-Can you just stop fussing over me?

-What is it? Is it Kush or you just been missing Patrick?

-No, no, no. It's not cos of anything.

Or is it that your books are more important than your sister?

Why can't you just...

just leave me alone!

Ju...

You all right?

Lady Di. She'll be having her operation around now.

Cos the alternative don't bear thinking about.

-Don't!

-That's what everyone's thinking, though, innit?

But fear not.

Transmitting my mental super powers in the dog's direction.

-She's going to be all right.

-Thanks!

PHONE RINGS

-It's Lee.

-What?

No. Can't face him.

-D'you want to talk about it?

-No. I'm fine, thank you.

D'you want me to use my mental super powers on him...

My first husband gave it to me and I never wear it, so I thought why not?

Trouble is, this ain't no diamond.

What?

Cubic zirconia. Fake, basically.

Right. So, what's it worth, then?

Oh, give it here.

Look - hang on, hang on. Cos I've got other stuff here.

This.

Plated. Sorry.

PHONE RINGS

My daughter's looking for one of those, though.

No, no, I couldn't.

Yes, Libs?

Have you been talking to Kim?

Well, you need to tell her to stop because I'm perfectly OK, all right?

Yes, yes, I...

Darling, sorry, I'm just right in the middle of something at the moment,

so can I call you back?

Yeah. Yeah, OK. Bye, darling.

Bye-bye.

Give you a fiver for it.

It's sentimental. Sorry.

PHONE RINGS

Queen Vic.

Nah, nah. I'm just here covering, mate.

Yeah, yeah, hold on. I'll get him for you.

Johnny!

Johnny!

-What?

-It's your dad.

What's he want?

Um... I don't know.

Does he know it's you?

I don't think Linda's told him I'm here yet.

-And you didn't tell him about Lady Di?

-Nah.

Dad.

Ah, that's no-one. He's just a temp.

Tracey's off sick.

Yeah, everything's fine. How are you?

How's Nance?

Why didn't you call me back when I asked you to?

I've been worried sick.

I just needed a morning by myself.

What exactly did Denise say to you?

Shouldn't you be at work?

Some things are more important. I'm putting the kettle on.

Josh...

Yes, Lauren?

I'm not sure which template I should be using to type up these notes.

Jess said I should ask you.

Doesn't really matter. They only ever get read when someone's trying to sue us.

Oh! Does that happen a lot?

This is the property game, so yeah, course.

Nice perfume.

Thank you.

You all right, Josh? Did Lauren give you those papers I gave her?

Uh, no. Hold on. Sorry.

S'all right. It's no big deal.

How's she getting on?

Can't fault her.

Sorry about this.

Just when you get a second, yeah?

-I'll be in touch.

-All right. Cheers, Lauren.

See you.

First rule of the property game - never apologise.

PHONE RINGS

Sorry about this. I should've turned it off.

Ah, what did I just say?

It's nothing important.

This is Jackie Taylor all over again.

Mum, that was over 20 years ago!

And what's changed?

I said the little minx was too old for you.

I said she'd break your heart, but did you listen?

Did you heck! Talk about history repeating itself.

I tell you what else hasn't changed is you sticking your oar in.

Why can't you just back off?

If you're hurting, I'm hurting.

Has she met someone else?

No!

Would she tell you if she had?

Will you stop this, please? It went wrong.

Like relationships do all the time.

Why does it have to be anybody's fault?

Why are you protecting her?

I'm not protecting her.

Kush, I'm your mum. I know you.

And if you won't fight for yourself...

Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, no! You promised me you wouldn't interfere...with...

Beep, beep. Open up.

You all right, Stace? Only me.

Hello, boys. How are you?

What are you doing here at this time of day?

Taking the afternoon off.

You can do that?

Yeah, yeah. S'always slack this time of the week, so...

Plus, I wanted to get to spend a bit of time with my boy.

Hey. That means you get the afternoon off as well.

S'all right - don't worry, you're still going to get paid.

How's he been, anyway?

Yeah, fine. Whatever was playing him up earlier seems to have gone.

OK, that's great. You are done here, right?

Yeah, more or less.

OK, great. Right, come on, dude.

Let's go and get your outside clobber on, yeah?

-Dada!

-Yes, Dada's here.

DOORBELL RINGS

BANGING

BELL RINGS AGAIN

Denise, are you in there?

I just need to have a quick word.

SHE TRIES DOOR HANDLE

Denise, I know you're in there.

It's about Kush.

Look, I just can't let this go.

I will be back.

SHE SIGHS

There you go.

Cheers. You all right working through lunch?

Only we've got to get this off by two.

Oh, yeah, course. What do I need to do?

Upstairs are asking for a year-on-year for this last quarter.

Can you cook something up?

Jess said we're still waiting for the auditor.

I know, and that's my fault. But we gotta keep 'em sweet.

Look, if it all goes south, I'll take the hit. Trust me.

This kind of thing happens all the time. It's called faking it.

Faking it?

Rule two of the property game - no need to know what you're doing.

Just LOOK like you do. Confidence.

That's what keeps this bubble afloat.

The minute we lose that...

and we're all out on the street.

Right, OK. I'll get on with that.

You're brilliant. Cheers.

Hey! There you are.

The woman on the desk said to just come straight through, only we got a bit lost.

Steven, what are you doing here?

Well, he's been playing up. I didn't know what to do, Lauren.

Well, I knew you had your lunch break coming up...

No, no, no, no! I've got to work through my lunch!

Oh! But...

I'm so sorry about this.

Hello.

Hey. Hi.

Steven, wasn't it?

Josh.

-He seems fine now.

-Yeah, well, now. He wasn't earlier, Lauren.

I don't get it. I do not get this. Where is Stacey?

I let her go home.

What do you expect me to do?

-I was trying to ring you, but you didn't answer.

-Yes, because I'm busy, Steven!

Right, OK, well, I can't help being a bit worried.

Like I just said, Steven, he seems fine.

Right, OK, my mistake. Yeah, we'll leave you to it.

Yeah.

Go on, Louie. Say bye-bye to Mummy, then.

Bye-bye, baby. Mummy see you at home.

Bye.

I'm really sorry about that.

What was rule one?

Sorry. No, no. I'm not sorry.

Seems a nice guy, though, your bloke. Clearly made for one another.

Where'd he take you, then, Matthew?

Clissold Park.

Oh! To the little zoo, was it?

Yeah, he loved it, didn't you, mate? What was your favourite, eh?

The goats? The deer?

Yeah. It's a good job that you and Jack are getting along so well.

We'll miss you when you go back to Galway.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

What did you say, Charlie - "we'll see"?

Right. What d'you fancy for lunch, then, you little scamp?

It's in the oven. I asked you a question.

What did you mean when you said, "we'll see"?

Does that mean you might be staying in Walford?

Hey. Any news, or...?

Nah, but I'm using my mental super powers

-so she's going to be fine.

-It's not a joking matter.

Who said I'm joking? You all right, after that phone call?

Yeah. It just freaked me out a bit, you know?

I'm a good listener.

Nah. I'll sort it out on my own, if that's all right.

Lady Di's just woke up from her operation. She's going to be fine!

Oh, thank God!

Vet said she was a star patient.

Told you.

What're you going to do? Kidnap him?

He's my own son!

But he don't know you! He ain't used to you.

He's used to Jack and the children and me.

It's not like you're never going to see him again.

There'll be visits and stuff.

Was this the plan all along?

No!

When did you change your mind?

I spoke to a solicitor this morning and I've got a good case.

Nobody's kidnapping anyone.

But what about Matthew?

Grandma, why do you think I'm doing this?

He's already lost his mother.

Which is why he needs a hands-on dad.

One who's there for him 24-7.

Jack's not coping. You saw the state of that house yesterday.

What's happened to you, Charlie? You never used to be like this.

How do you think Jack will feel?

Matthew - how do you think he'll feel?

How do you think I'm going to feel, right, if I go back to Ireland without him?

Yes, and what about the children, Amy and Ricky?

Yeah - like I said, there'll still be contact, all right? Like there will be for you, too.

But you'll be hundreds of miles away.

Grandma, look, someone's going to get hurt here -

there's no getting away from that.

But Matthew has got to come first.

I don't believe you. I think you're putting yourself first.

KNOCKING

That'll be Jack.

Please, don't say anything. All right? Not yet.

I promise you that I'll deal with this.

But at the right moment.

Everything all right?

Yeah. Absolutely fine, mate. Yeah, he's been good as gold.

Oh, hello, Dennis.

I'm here to collect my money.

What money?

My sponsorship money.

But I-I don't remember.

Penalty shoot-out. For the school library. It was today.

That's your signature, right?

Right. So, how much did I sponsor you for?

20 pence a goal.

And how many goals did you score?

Nine out of ten - hit the post once.

So, I owe you what?

One pound 80, please.

S'all right. You keep it all.

Cheers.

-To Lady Di.

-Lady Di.

Where's my glass? I mean, it was all down to me.

What's he on about?

Tell him about my mental super powers, Whit.

You should try it some time, Johnny. Positive thinking.

PHONE RINGS

-He ain't that bad, really.

-Queen Vic.

Full of himself, but his heart's in the right place.

No, she's not here, mate.

I dunno.

Is that Lee?

Yeah. Word of advice, mate. She's not interested in talking to you,

so, leave her alone, yeah?

Yeah, all right.

I thought that was sentimental?

You said a fiver, yeah?

Trouble is, I've already cashed up.

Please!

Go on, then.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Why have you done all this, Abs?

Because if I don't, then no-one else will.

You know what a martyr is, don't you?

I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me.

Your mum was the same.

A dirty cup to her was like a personal insult.

She used to spring-clean the whole house before she went to bed, used to drive me mad.

Well, maybe if you had tidied, it wouldn't have been such a problem.

Excuse me - I'm a new man now, ain't I?

I've heard it all now!

Here y'are. This'll cheer you up.

Flat-warming present.

That is what you wanted?

Yeah.

All right?

Is there a problem, or...?

Right, I'll leave you to it. See you later.

-See you later.

-See you.

Have I done something?

No, you haven't. That's the whole point.

So, since when do you make the rules of this house?

Plus, someone swiped my last pro-biotic yogurt this morning.

Well... You can always share anything of mine.

"Anything of yours"?

When was the last time you did a proper shop?

-I think you're forgetting who it was that invited you here.

-Oh!

What's your dad been buying you, anyway?

You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?

OK!

There you are!

Not a good time, Carmel.

-Where are you going? Come back!

-I do not want to talk to you.

Well, too bad - cos I want to talk to you.

I'm not going to have a row with you in the middle of the street.

Fine. We'll go to yours, then.

I thought you said you were seen on time.

Well, I was, roughly enough.

So, what's all this talk about going private next time?

I'm just saying that if I had the money, I would.

Yeah, well, it's not like your treatment'll be any better.

Love, you didn't see the waiting room. It was full of oiks.

I mean, you go private, you get classical music, decent cup of coffee, proper newspaper.

You get what you pay for.

So, when do you get your results?

Er...next week.

And how are you feeling about that?

I'm not. What are we having for tea?

I just bought some salad stuff in.

Salad? For tea?

D'you want to inject insulin for the rest of your life?

Hey.

Oh, hiya.

How was today?

Yeah, fine. Where's Louie?

With Steven. He took the afternoon off, apparently.

Yeah, I know.

All right?

Ooh, hello, my baby! Come here, you.

Mummy missed you.

Sorry about earlier.

Louie still looks fine.

Yeah, yeah, he seems to be.

So, you mad at me?

No, I'm not mad at you, I'm just... It don't even matter.

-I'm going to go upstairs and get changed.

-Uh-oh.

-Yeah!

-Come on.

-Uh-oh.

-Come on, you.

So you still refuse to take any responsibility for this at all?

Oh, it wasn't working, Carmel. What was I supposed to do?

You were using him,

and the minute you got bored, you dumped him.

If that's what you want to think.

"I'm in this for the long haul." D'you remember saying that?

I was wrong.

He's heartbroken!

Yeah, well... I've been heartbroken.

Guess what? I got over it.

Did I not say something like this would happen from the start?

Yes, yes. You were right.

Yeah. So, give yourself a sticker and a star.

Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!

Have you met someone else?

I don't have to justify myself to you.

What are you fighting his battles for, anyway?

I love my kids.

And I don't?

You gave your son away!

I thought you were my friend.

Turns out you're just a grubby little tramp.

DOOR SLAMS