11/05/2017 EastEnders


11/05/2017

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The cake.

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I'm picking it up first thing.

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And you've checked it's definitely going to be ready?

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At least five times.

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Shirley!

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The buffet?

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Ian's said he's dropping it off this evening.

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Stick it in the fridge, he said it'll be fine for tomorrow morning.

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Can we do this later? I ain't even had my caffeine fix yet.

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No. Soft play?

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Yeah, that's coming tonight an' all.

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Oh, yeah. There you are.

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What's that?

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The instructions. How to put it all together.

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Where did you get that? It ain't even here yet.

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I downloaded it off the internet last night.

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Questions?

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How are you going to get rid of that?

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-What?

-That, welded to your hand.

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Shirley, it is a big deal. Ollie's only two once.

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Yeah and, erm, Linda's coming home.

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And Lady Di.

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Yeah, Mick's going to be gutted to miss all this.

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Moose.

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Now what you ordered?

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He's downstairs.

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Moose, as in Lee and Moose?

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-I've just let him in.

-What does he want?

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To see Whit.

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And is it just Moose? Lee's not with him?

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I think I would have noticed if he was.

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Who's Moose?

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Whit...

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Moose.

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What's happened?

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Er, nothing, nothing. I was just passing through.

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I didn't know Albert Square was on the way to Afghanistan.

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I'm on leave, actually.

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I was in the area, so I thought I'd come and say hello.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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Oh, hello.

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Hiya, you all right?

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Do you want to grab a drink?

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What?

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At lunchtime? Catch up, really?

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I take a break about two.

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See you then.

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You've got a visitor.

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Jack.

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You all right, Dot?

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What a nice surprise.

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Listen, you ain't got any plans today, have you?

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You see, Amy, she's still covered in spots,

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she can't go to school, she's climbing the walls.

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She's not the only one. I've got Max looking after her and he is, too.

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DOT CHUCKLES

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Look, you wouldn't come over, would you?

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It's not my idea. I mean, Amy, she wants to cook us both some lunch.

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Well...

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She's been wandering round since six o'clock this morning.

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She's made a menu and done everything.

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That would be lovely.

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Thanks, Dot.

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You seen the fridge?

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Yeah, it's over there.

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Look inside it.

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Why?

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Just do it.

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Right, if this is some sort of wind-up...

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Someone's on the wind-up, but it ain't me.

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And it's not just everything in the fridge that's labelled.

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It's everything in them cupboards, as well.

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And in the bathroom, too - all the soap and the shampoo.

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Yeah, so now we know. What's yours and what isn't.

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So if any light-fingered tea leaf feels like helping themselves

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to MY pro-biotic yoghurt, there'll be no excuse, will there?

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It'll just be plain and simple pilfering.

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Abs, this is a bit over the top, ain't it?

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Well, that's easy for you to say.

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All I've labelled of yours is a can of Coke and a few mouldy crisps.

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Oh, and that cereal of yours is way past its sell-by date.

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No wonder you lot have been helping yourselves to my stuff.

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Er, it's called house-share. As in "sharing".

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As in "daylight robbery", more like.

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Well, now that's sorted...

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I've got a gerbil to settle.

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Here.

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I didn't want it, don't know why I picked it up.

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You're doing it again, aren't you?

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What?

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You're fussing. Don't do it, don't fuss, all right?

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Don't meddle.

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You haven't been, have you?

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-What?

-You haven't been meddling?

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You haven't been saying nothing to Denise?

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Last person I want to talk to.

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That's not what I asked you, is it?

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I just brought you a cup of coffee, that's all - you're my son,

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I can't help worrying about you.

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I've already had one.

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Hi Kath, coffee to take away, please.

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-Hiya.

-Hey.

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Another no?

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That job I went for last week.

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Least they bothered to let me know.

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Well, there's a special supplement in the Gazette this week.

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Won't be too many education posts in that.

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Well, it doesn't just have to be education, does it?

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Well, that's what I'm trained to do.

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Well, yeah, but you could train to do something else.

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That's what I've always done, Sharon.

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Beggars can't be choosers.

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-I'm not a beggar.

-Sharon.

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-Yet.

-See you later.

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Ta, Kath.

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Happy birthday, Aunty Kath.

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Nothing happy about 'em when you get to my age!

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Couldn't even sort myself a day off work! But thank you.

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All right. There you go.

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Can I get two bacon sarnies as well, please, to take away?

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Oh, Shrimp, you still all right for the stall later, yeah?

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-Yeah, should be fine.

-Top man, top man.

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What?

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It just goes in one ear, and out the other with you, don't it?

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What does?

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Everything I've said. You and your sister.

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You and everyone.

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Oh, don't bring Kush and Carmel into this. And as for Michelle...

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-She's the one in the wrong, Stace.

-Oh, you're like a broken record.

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What her and Preston did was bang out of order.

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Yeah, but he ain't here, is he? She is.

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Worse luck.

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And so are we. Me, you and... whoever else is coming along.

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But we don't need her help.

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We ain't going to get it, you carry on like that.

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I can't do this.

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Course you can.

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What, go to a family lunch? With all what's going on?

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Yeah, but Jack doesn't know that anything's going on.

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When will he? When are you going to tell him?

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I've told you, I'm going to tell him when the time is right.

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Would you think of this from Matthew's point of view?

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Point of view? He's only two! He ain't got a point of view.

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Yeah, but he will have when he's older. And if I don't do this now,

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he's going to grow up thinking his actual dad didn't want him.

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Didn't want to know. That sound familiar?

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It's for the best.

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It's the best for Matthew and I know you don't want any upset,

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but there'll be a lot more if I don't do what's right for my son.

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I'm a bit busy, Abi.

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Why? You don't start work for ages.

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Well, I've got Louie to get sorted.

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Lauren had to work early this morning

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and we don't have Stacey today. BABY YELLS

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Sorry, what is this?

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What does it look like?

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A rat.

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Well, it's a gerbil. Abandoned, the poor thing.

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Look, look how cute he is.

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Well, yeah, if you like things that look like rats.

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Well, kids love him. And they're no fuss.

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Just a bit of feed, change his water every now and then.

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He really is the perfect pet.

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If he's so perfect, how come he got abandoned?

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Well, he just needs the right home.

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And look, look, Louie - he can't take his eyes off of him!

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All right, fine, I'll try Ricky.

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But it's Louie who is going to miss out.

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Well no, hang on. Why don't you leave him here for an hour or so?

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Yeah? See how they get on.

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All right, cool. See you later.

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See ya.

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Right, what's this all about?

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You really got to ask?

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I'm flat out in the Arches.

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Still can't believe Ethan and Jerome both jumped ship.

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Well, I ain't exactly sunning myself out there on the stall.

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But we can't do this while Abi's in the house, can we?

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Do what?

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Do something about all the labels she keeps putting on everything.

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There wouldn't BE any labels -

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she wouldn't even be here - if it weren't for you.

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You have got a key to her room.

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You're the sort of landlords, you must have.

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Yeah, so?

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So - get in there, find that fancy label-maker of hers

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and put it in the bin before she starts labelling us an' all.

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She'll find it!

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So stick it where the sun don't shine, smash it into bits,

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I don't care.

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She can always go and get another one.

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Have you got any better ideas, or what?

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Yeah.

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Might have to pull a few favours. But...

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I think I do...

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HE CHUCKLES

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So Moose is Lee's best friend?

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Yeah, as in very best. They're joined at the hip, them two.

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And he didn't say why he wanted to see you?

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He just said he was passing.

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Never been "just passing" before.

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Well, there's nothing's wrong cos I checked.

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Maybe there's something's right.

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What does that mean?

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Maybe Lee asked him to come.

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What for?

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Only one reason I can think of.

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Lee's a dodo. He should never have broken up with you.

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Maybe he's finally realised that.

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So why would you send Moose? Why not just come here yourself?

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To prepare the ground? Suss out the lie of the land?

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Johnny, you're making him sound like a squaddy on manoeuvres.

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Lee isn't to know what kind of reception he'd get if he just turned up out of the blue.

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Maybe Moose is here to find out.

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OK.

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I'm on my way.

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Erm, I was just about to start doing some weeding.

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If I don't clear this lot soon, it's going to strangle everything.

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Give us a hand if you want.

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Yeah. Why not?

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Well, I hope you're hungry.

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Cos Amy's really got the bit between her teeth this time.

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Is this all just for us?

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Well, do you think I should have invited Charlie, as well?

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I know I could have, but...

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I'm just not ready to sit down and do the happy-families thing

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-right now, Dot.

-No.

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Take a seat.

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Thank you, Jack.

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He has surprised me, though.

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He seems like a decent bloke.

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Oi, Woody! What's all this about?

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Don't ask me!

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They're everywhere!

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Yeah, they're on the railings, as well.

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Well, what does that say?

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"Railing".

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It's probably one of them kinda like school project things or something.

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What, sending their kids out sticking signs on things?

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Yeah, yeah, so the kids know where everything is.

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What sort of school would send their kids out labelling things?

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They'd probably get arrested for vandalising public property or something.

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I think it's one of them art things.

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Do what?

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You know, one of them, what do they call, installations.

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You see 'em all the time over in Shoreditch.

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I ain't seen no bearded hipsters hanging about.

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Well, what else can it be?

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Sharon's going to see the estate agent later on.

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What, is she thinking of moving away?

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That holiday place her and Phil are thinking of building.

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Oh, right.

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I remember the first holiday she ever went on.

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Clacton, in a caravan with Den and Ange.

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She was so excited that she threw up all over the back seat of the car

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before they'd even pulled off the Square.

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Lovely(!) How times change, eh?

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Yeah. Certainly have for her and Phil.

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They're going great guns these days.

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Who'd have thought it, all those years ago...

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But it's the tortoise and hare, isn't it?

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It ain't how you start, it's how you finish.

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What, you saying Sharon's lucky?

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No, no, she's worked hard, course she has.

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And she's had hard times an' all.

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No, no, I'm not saying she hasn't.

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Five minutes, OK?

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Fine.

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Yeah, we had a bit of a problem with the tuna salad and the trifle.

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I don't have no problem with tuna and trifle.

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On the same plate?

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SHE LAUGHS

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DOORBELL RINGS

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I'll get that.

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How's Amy?

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Spotty.

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Right, well, we've brought this round to show her.

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What, another rat?

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-It's a gerbil.

-Well, she's already got one, ain't she?

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No. She's got a hamster.

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Louie loves it, he's been staring at it all day.

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I thought it might take her mind off things.

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She's in the kitchen. But do me a favour, don't let her open it.

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The mood she's in she'd probably serve that up for afters.

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Right, come on, then, Louie, let's go and see your cousin.

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And remember to give her a nice big hug.

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Am I doing it wrong?

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If I'm pulling up something I shouldn't, tell me.

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Anything's better than the silent treatment.

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Just gets on my nerves a bit, that's all.

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-What does?

-You and Sharon.

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What's that mean?

0:15:060:15:07

Well, you're not where you are and she's not where she is

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because she's the tortoise and you're the hare.

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I never said that.

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You're where you are, 'Chelle, because you screwed up.

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And I'm trying to get my life back on track, aren't I?

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I'm trying to put that right.

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What, by applying for all these jobs?

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Well, yeah.

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It's the same thing, though, innit? You and these jobs. You and Preston.

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Can we please not start talking about Preston?

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What sort of fantasy world are you living in, 'Chelle?

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No-one is going to touch you for a teaching job, not once they find out what you've done.

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I know, Martin. I could paper the walls with the rejection letters.

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You still think something good's going to happen, though, don't ya?

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Just like you did with Preston -

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you must have thought something good was going to happen.

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What exactly was that?

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Sounds like an old Rod Stewart song.

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What?

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That sad cow he used to sing about.

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Must have been before my time.

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Yeah, mine, too.

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One of Mum's old records.

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Maggie something.

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May.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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Me and Sharon used to sing it.

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Both holding our hairbrushes, pretending they were microphones.

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No, I know. Mum showed me the pictures.

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And I know that's really cool, 'Chelle,

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you know, when you're 15, pretending that you're something you're not.

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It's just a bit sad when you're nearly 50.

0:16:420:16:44

Steven brought a gerbil round.

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-Did he?

-He's a weirdo.

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Oh! I don't think you should say things like that, Amy.

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He's probably just brought him round,

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you know, for company for Hammy.

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Hamsters and gerbils don't get on.

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Oh, yeah, why's that?

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Cos hamsters are solitary and gerbils are social.

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Everyone knows that.

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How old is she, eight or 18?

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SHE LAUGHS

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Well, there was another reason why I invited you round here.

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Oh, what was that?

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I've been thinking about, you know, getting us all away for the summer.

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A family holiday.

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Oh, that'd be nice.

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Yeah, it would be even nicer if you came.

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And don't worry, I'm not thinking of freebie childcare.

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It's just, after all we've been through,

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it would be nice to get the family together.

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What do you say?

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Dot...?

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There won't be.

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Won't be what?

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There won't be no holiday.

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Well, not the whole family together, anyway.

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What you talking about?

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Charlie wants Matthew.

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He wants to take him back with him to Ireland.

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So, where do you want to go?

0:18:080:18:11

What?

0:18:120:18:13

For a drink?

0:18:140:18:15

Um...

0:18:170:18:19

Sorry, I didn't actually think...

0:18:190:18:21

Well, look, we could stay here if you want?

0:18:220:18:25

Yeah, yeah. Why not?

0:18:270:18:29

OK.

0:18:290:18:30

'Ere, why do they call him Moose?

0:18:350:18:38

Oh!

0:18:440:18:45

-Oh, I wonder where this is going to go.

-Come here!

0:18:480:18:50

There we go. It's not really accurate, though, is it?

0:18:500:18:53

Don't quite fit the bill.

0:18:530:18:54

Oh, really?

0:18:540:18:55

This should be fun!

0:18:550:18:57

I was hoping to see you guys.

0:18:570:18:59

Yeah? What about?

0:18:590:19:00

I just wanted to say thank you.

0:19:000:19:03

I've just been back to the house. I still haven't settled that gerbil.

0:19:030:19:06

But there was really no need.

0:19:060:19:08

I know that the TV is yours, you didn't have to label it

0:19:080:19:11

and everything else.

0:19:110:19:13

You guys have really got into the spirit of all this, haven't you?

0:19:140:19:17

And I thought this morning was going to be such an uphill struggle.

0:19:170:19:20

But seeing as we're all in the mood to get ourselves organised...

0:19:200:19:23

Er, what are these?

0:19:260:19:27

This...

0:19:280:19:29

is a cleaning rota.

0:19:290:19:32

And a washing-up rota, too.

0:19:320:19:34

Days of the week at the top and who does what underneath.

0:19:340:19:36

-I can't even believe you'd think something like this.

-I'm thinking about my son.

0:19:390:19:42

No, you're not! After all that boy's been through, now you want to take that away from him an' all?

0:19:420:19:46

I mean, he's supposed to be losing his home, as well?

0:19:460:19:49

I'm going to give him a home. A proper home. With his dad.

0:19:490:19:51

And a mum.

0:19:510:19:52

You came to see Matthew, right? To help. Not to tear my family apart.

0:19:540:19:58

-I meant all of that.

-Then what's happened?

0:19:580:20:00

Then I saw you. Saw what you're like.

0:20:000:20:01

-Oh, yeah, what does that mean?

-You're in no fit state to do this!

0:20:010:20:05

And I'm not saying I ain't sympathetic,

0:20:050:20:07

-but I'm not going to leave my son with someone just cos I feel sorry for them.

-Matthew needs stability!

0:20:070:20:11

-And that's exactly what he's going to get.

-He's already got it here, all right? He doesn't even know you!

0:20:110:20:15

He'll get to know me, he'll adjust, that's what kids do.

0:20:150:20:17

Adjust?

0:20:170:20:18

And he'll grow up with his dad and a mum who's going to love him

0:20:180:20:21

like her own, not you and a whole procession of baby sitters.

0:20:210:20:23

You see, I had you right from the start, didn't I?

0:20:230:20:26

I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.

0:20:270:20:29

-I should've known you'd go behind my back.

-I'm not going behind anyone's back.

0:20:290:20:32

You've already admitted it!

0:20:320:20:34

You told me you're going for custody of Matthew.

0:20:340:20:36

Residence.

0:20:360:20:37

What?

0:20:370:20:38

That's what it's called.

0:20:400:20:41

You really have been doing your homework, haven't you?

0:20:430:20:46

According to my brief, I'm going to get it, end of story.

0:20:460:20:48

End of story?

0:20:480:20:50

What do you think this is, some sort of game?

0:20:500:20:53

I've got nothing more to say.

0:20:530:20:55

Yeah, well, I've got plenty.

0:20:550:20:57

PHONE RINGS

0:20:570:20:58

-'Jack...'

-Dot. I'll be there in a minute.

0:21:020:21:05

'Please. Please!'

0:21:050:21:07

Bit strange, this, innit?

0:21:130:21:15

What is?

0:21:150:21:17

Seeing you without Lee.

0:21:170:21:18

You been in touch with him lately, or...?

0:21:210:21:23

Yeah, actually, I have.

0:21:250:21:27

He tried to phone me earlier in the week.

0:21:290:21:31

I know. He told me.

0:21:320:21:34

So, did he say...

0:21:360:21:39

what that was about?

0:21:390:21:40

I was giving him an earful, actually.

0:21:430:21:45

I don't know how he could do it in the first place, if I'm honest.

0:21:450:21:49

-Do what?

-Walk out on you.

0:21:490:21:51

I mean, you're everything any fella would want.

0:21:530:21:57

You're beautiful and you're smart.

0:21:570:21:59

You haven't answered my question.

0:21:590:22:02

Why did Lee call me?

0:22:050:22:06

Never mind Lee for a minute, all right?

0:22:080:22:11

You are one of the most amazing girls I've ever met

0:22:110:22:15

and I want you to know that.

0:22:150:22:17

All right, just don't worry about Lee, OK?

0:22:170:22:21

I'm talking about you.

0:22:210:22:23

Moose. Erm...

0:22:230:22:24

Listen, um...

0:22:270:22:28

I think you're really nice, but, erm...

0:22:300:22:34

No, wait, I'm not... I'm not coming onto you.

0:22:340:22:37

Ain't you?

0:22:390:22:40

-No.

-Well, then, what is all this?

0:22:410:22:44

Oh, God, d'you know what...

0:22:470:22:48

I love Lee like a brother but I think I actually hate him right now.

0:22:500:22:54

Why, what are you talking about?

0:22:540:22:56

OK.

0:22:590:23:00

Erm...

0:23:020:23:03

Lee...

0:23:030:23:05

..sent me here...

0:23:060:23:08

..to talk to you.

0:23:100:23:11

He didn't think he'd get a warm welcome if he'd come himself.

0:23:110:23:14

So why...

0:23:140:23:15

Why did Lee ask you to come and see me?

0:23:160:23:21

He wanted me to tell you something.

0:23:240:23:26

If looks could kill.

0:23:400:23:41

She'd be six feet under by now.

0:23:430:23:45

Well, it doesn't matter how old they get,

0:23:450:23:47

they're still your little kid, aren't they? If they get hurt...

0:23:470:23:50

-So word got out, then.

-Hmm.

0:23:510:23:53

Why did she hurt Kush, though? That's what I don't understand.

0:23:550:23:59

Well, sometimes things just don't work out, do they, Carmel?

0:23:590:24:03

She's not the person I thought she was, Sharon.

0:24:030:24:05

How do you mean?

0:24:050:24:07

Well, look what she's been like lately.

0:24:070:24:09

She takes up with Kush, then she dumps him.

0:24:090:24:13

She gets all gung-ho about community,

0:24:130:24:15

then when they say they're going to close the Community Centre,

0:24:150:24:17

you don't hear a peep out of her.

0:24:170:24:19

She gets everyone involved with everything,

0:24:190:24:22

then she locks the door and hardly puts her nose outside.

0:24:220:24:26

She's not right in the head, she can't be.

0:24:280:24:31

Kush should thank his lucky stars he saw her true colours in time.

0:24:330:24:36

So?

0:24:520:24:53

Was it something to do with Lee?

0:24:570:24:58

Whit, if he has had second thoughts,

0:25:000:25:02

why not give him another chance, yeah?

0:25:020:25:04

Just look after the bar for me for five minutes, all right?

0:25:110:25:15

Mick, it's me.

0:25:210:25:22

I know I shouldn't be leaving you messages like this.

0:25:240:25:27

But I need ya.

0:25:300:25:31

I really need ya.

0:25:340:25:35

Everything all right?

0:25:420:25:43

Yeah, fine.

0:25:430:25:45

Don't exactly look like it.

0:25:490:25:50

Lee wants a divorce.

0:25:520:25:55

He's been to see a solicitor.

0:25:550:25:56

I should be hearing something in the next few days.

0:25:560:25:59

It's not even been 12 months yet.

0:25:590:26:02

He couldn't have told you that himself?

0:26:020:26:04

He phoned earlier in the week. That's probably what it was about.

0:26:040:26:07

He could have phoned me again, though, couldn't he?

0:26:070:26:10

I don't know why I'm like this, it's not like I couldn't see it coming.

0:26:100:26:14

Yeah, but it's still a shock even if you did know it was coming.

0:26:140:26:17

Yeah, and d'you know, I know where I stand now.

0:26:170:26:20

So it's probably a good thing. In the end.

0:26:200:26:23

I'm going to get back to the bar.

0:26:230:26:24

No, no, no. We can manage.

0:26:240:26:26

Well, don't let the boss hear you say that.

0:26:260:26:28

Well, it'll be our little secret, all right?

0:26:280:26:30

On the day of Ronnie's funeral I made a promise.

0:26:510:26:54

I promised my kids I'd never leave them.

0:26:540:26:57

I promised Ricky, I promised Amy and I promised Matthew.

0:26:570:27:00

So far as I'm concerned, that's written in blood.

0:27:020:27:05

My wife's blood.

0:27:070:27:08

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