12/06/2017 EastEnders

Maple cured bacon,

eggs over easy, golden fried slice.

Ah, no.

It's like watching someone have their dreams crushed

before their very eyes.

You can make your own breakfast tomorrow.

Oh, no, no, no!

I would much rather have this than a rasher of bacon any day.

Think you'll be forcing me to eat healthy in 30 years, babe?

More likely be the other way round, with my kitchen skills.

Are you going into work?

Yeah, Suzie can't go in and we've got this investor's presentation.

I've got to go help Dad now.

-Yeah, but you're not well enough.

-I'm fine.

Babe, you've been in bed all weekend.

-This is an opportunity. Don't argue.

-I wouldn't.

She's been working on it since crack of dawn.

Well, who's going to look after Louie?

-Stacey can't, can she?

-No.

Well, it is your day off?

Oh, son.

Where would we be without women to tell us what to do, feel,

think, eat?

When did you last have it?

I think I've intentionally wiped that from the memory banks.

Why would you do that?

No purse, no travel card, no travel card, no way of getting into work.

Come on, it's not so bad there, is it?

Not sure it's worth getting crushed on the Tube for.

Well, what you need is a work crush.

Now your divorce is finalised, maybe you need some motivation,

like Louise.

Are you auditioning to be my garden gnome or something?

Sorry. I didn't want to disturb.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

Found this in the loo. What you doing here?

Well, it was either come in or get reported for loitering.

Let's leave immediately! Yours?

What did I ever do to you?

Bye, Travis! Don't forget to come for dinner!

Well, that is the first time she's been early in months.

Must be true love. She better not mess it up!

Oh, she won't.

Listen, if you want free from the daily grind,

get yourself something to dream about.

See you.

You said we can speak to Matthew this weekend!

Yeah, I tried that, darling, didn't I? Ricky, oi!

Try again!

Darling, I... Listen, I haven't got the time, all right?

Ricky, stop that!

You said we can speak to them any time!

Yeah, I know, darling, but I can't make him come to the phone, can I?

Place is tidy.

Pearl is eating without any bloodshed.

-And there's peace and quiet. PEARL:

-Quiet.

Where's her sandals?!

-Then enter the dragon.

-Mm-hm.

Where is her sandals?

She's going swimming, she'll get verrucas everywhere!

Denise! Where's her sandals?

Under the stairs, next to the wellies.

KIM GROANS

Urgh!

She's been a living nightmare this weekend.

Would you like me to talk to her for you?

Nah, nah, nah. Nah. It's all right.

It goes with the territory when you're working for your sister,

especially when that sister is Kim, isn't it?

Na-na time.

-Oh, sorry.

-Mind yourself, mate.

I'm back in business. Downloaded the app.

I thought you said you deleted that forever?

-Well, forever's a big word, isn't it?

-Oh, right. Yeah.

Go on, then, let's have a go. Just old time's sake.

Sorry, mate. No. You are out of the game, ain't you?

PHONE BEEPS Oh, unlike me!

-Oh, let's have a look!

-No.

No.

-Dad!

-Listen, please, can you just stop moaning, all right?

-We'll try again later.

-Try again what?

You all right, Lauren? Er, it's just Matthew.

We couldn't get hold of him this weekend

and they've just been a bit upset.

-Sorry. You OK?

-Yeah, fine.

I could actually do with a favour this afternoon,

-if you can help me out?

-No, sorry. I've got work all day.

-You all right, Max?

-Yeah, you all right?

Listen, I'm working in Acton all day, you wouldn't pick the kids up from school, would you?

No chance, mate, nah. I've got a presentation.

Better go through it. You ready?

Don't look so scared, I'll be there to hold your hand.

-See you.

-Glad someone is having a laugh.

You ought to get yourself a nanny.

What, have a complete stranger come into my house? Don't think so.

Come on. You're going to be late.

Go on.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

-Sorry, it's my stop.

-Oh, right.

-Nice to see you.

-And you. Bye.

That man is moist!

Sorry, what was that?

Shakespeare, bruv. It's wet still.

Here, everyone! Keegan's got something to say.

He thinks that doing Romeo and Juliet in front of

the whole school is "wet."

Here, let's see you do it in front of a bus stop.

Wasteman.

Fair. I mean, Shakespeare is out of your league.

I'll make it easy for you. Just do your favourite Stormzy tune.

What do you know about Stormzy?

But I do know you're getting way too big for your boots.

Owned, bruv!

# You're never too big for the boot

# I've got these big size 12s on my feet

# Your face ain't big for my boot

# You're getting way too big for your boots... #

Nah, no way! Stage fright at a bus stop?

Oh, stop it, Travis.

Come on, mate.

Keegan?

We'll get through it. Just got to have each other's backs.

-Yeah.

-Hey, you two!

-You all right, Abi.

Sorry, we need to get to work, so see you later.

-Cheers. Thank you.

-See you.

Like he said, I've got to get going. I'll call you later, yeah?

Yeah. Are you OK, though?

Yeah, just...

Well, I got big day at work today.

I just want to put all that behind me.

-What, and pretend it didn't happen?

-Yeah.

I feel like it's written all over my face already.

Just drop it, yeah? Before Steven gets suspicious.

You should tell him.

It's not fair to keep lying to him, or keep expecting me to.

He keeps texting me to see if I'm OK after my "hospital visit."

I'm really sorry about that.

-He should know.

-No.

Steven is never ever finding out about this, OK?

Lauren, can you get a move on, please?

Hold on! Hold on!

Don't think they're ones for scaling the ramparts.

-They're missing assembly.

-However will they catch up(?)

Do you have a moment to talk?

Look, can we do it at parents evening?

Got to be in Acton ten minutes ago. Give us a kiss. Kiss.

-Bye, daddy!

-See you!

-Bye!

Hey.

Louie's asleep. He had a bit of a bad night.

Well, I've just come to see Lauren.

Sorry, Abs. She's at work.

-Oh, she told me she was working from home today.

-Yeah?

-Mm-hm.

That is so annoying of her.

She said she'd help me with my party invite.

I'm sorry on her behalf.

Oh, well, I don't suppose you could help me?

You were so good last week.

-Not today, Abi. Sorry, I just...

-You're busy watching Louie sleep?

Great, so if you could just come straight through and take a seat.

Thank you very much. Be with you in a minute.

You OK?

This is such bad timing with Suzie's boy being sick.

No, we've been through last week's presentation this morning,

-she's up to speed. She'll be fine.

-Of course.

Just, a lot riding on it, that's all.

Great, so, what we do here is make money, yeah?

No.

No.

No!

-Yes!

-Would Stacey approve of this?

Yeah, she's had a go on her mate's phone in the past.

Whoa! Kush, we have got a match, son.

Emma. What am I going to say?

No! Absolutely not. Oh.

-Yeah.

-Emma's hot.

-Hot.

-Wow!

Yeah. She's got impeccable taste in men.

-They're my photos, mate.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Aren't you rushing into things a little bit?

You know, what with everything that happened with Denise last week.

I'm not going to waste any more time feeling bad about it, OK?

Dee wouldn't even talk to me.

-What I need is someone who isn't afraid to communicate.

-Yeah.

-PHONE BEEPS

-Oh!

-Like Emma.

-We like Emma.

That is so cool! You're a natural.

Well, I guess Lauren's rubbing off on me.

You could help me do a Father's Day card for Dad and all.

You know what,

I should probably save this up and then go and check on Louie.

You're really good with him.

Do you know what he's getting you for Father's Day?

I doubt it's even crossed Lauren's mind.

What makes you say that?

Nothing, don't worry.

If you're worried it's just you, it isn't.

What's just me?

Well, I could never get Lauren to let me in,

just be her sister. It's like she's scared of getting too close.

-You ever thought about having a kid of your own?

-Me?

Now's not really the right time.

I'm sure I've heard Lauren say exactly the same sentence.

You spoken to her about it?

-Just sister talk.

-Right.

She say anything else?

So, you do want one, then!

So, what if I do?

Sorry.

I just, don't know why it's something that

-I should be ashamed of.

-I don't think it is.

Of course I want a kid with Lauren.

I mean, someone that's a bit of me and a bit of her.

It would be an amazing feeling.

How Peter can live in New Zealand, it's just beyond me, you know.

He has no idea what he's got.

LOUIE CRIES

BELL RINGS

I'm sorry about Travis this morning, he was out of order.

Yeah, as if I'm bothered about that.

-Cool.

-He's the one taking my seconds, anyway.

-Sorry?

-Wouldn't catch me doing that.

But then again, I have got standards.

What are you talking about?

You and me, at Madison's party?

I've got no clue what you're on about,

but if you start spreading lies about me, I'll report you.

Report me? What, you going to give me marks out of ten or something?

Cos I'd give you a five. Must try harder.

Nothing happened at the party!

You really denying it?

Now, you're all loved up you're going to pretend it didn't happen?

-You're making it up!

-We had sex, Lou, and I can prove it.

-Oh, as if.

Get lost, Keegan! You're an idiot.

-Too much?

-Oh, such a handsome boy.

It works on your mum!

Of course she's not really the target audience, is she?

You got a problem, you come to me, you don't go crying to my husband.

I wish Vincent didn't say anything.

There goes your Employee Of The Month award, that's all I'm saying.

Denise! There you are.

Here I am.

-Hi.

-All right?

What, you going somewhere special?

He's got a date!

Oh, yeah? With who? Sandra from Gogglebox?

It's not a date date.

So, what do you want?

My friend on reception at the Town Hall has quit to go travelling,

which means there's a vacancy.

What, me? Work at Town Hall?

-You were looking for a job.

-Yeah, but...

You know, I've got my hands full with this one, ain't I?

-Well, that won't last forever.

-And why not?

Well, they tend to grow up, don't they?

Thank you, but I'm fine where I am.

So, tell me about this date.

Use this time before the end of term showcase

to explore your performance.

Make mistakes, look stupid.

Happily, in entertainment, unlike life, there are rehearsals.

However, Louise Mitchell, in rehearsals, like life,

texting when I'm talking is high treason.

OK. Get in your groups, warm up, we begin in 15.

So, he's been chatting that rubbish to you too?

-It's not just us he's been telling.

-What?

-Lou, you got a minute?

-Yeah.

-We should be rehearsing.

-Yeah, it's just about Keegan.

-I don't believe this.

-Shaki said that Keegan was...

Look, what I did at the bus stop, winding him up, it was stupid.

The bus stop?

Yeah, Shaki said that he's been causing you trouble and so,

I thought it'd be my fault if he is.

No, don't worry about that. No, it's nothing,

-it's just Keegan being Keegan.

-Good, cos I like you.

You know, I hate to be thinking that I was making your life difficult.

-Do you mean that?

-Yeah, of course! Come here.

It's been six months, yeah?

Yeah, it's a weird time.

I remember it so well.

Of course.

-Sorry, what was her name?

-Safirah.

At first, people look at you like they don't know whether to hug you

or run away. And then after six months...

..it's like you're taking too long at the checkout.

Right, like, "Can we stop the dead wife chat now, please,

"and go back to football bants?"

Max said I should get a nanny today.

And all you heard was, "Get a move on, Jack. There's a good lad."

I thought I was doing so well.

Then I couldn't get hold of Matthew this weekend

and everything's just...

Where is he?

He's moved in with Charlie.

Must be tough.

He should be with his real dad.

It's just losing that contact with him.

I mean, I was supposed to go to work today, I had a meeting in Acton.

I just couldn't.

He's not yours, but he's Ronnie's? Right.

Must be like losing another link to her.

It's probably why the kids are so upset.

It's not the same thing, right,

but Saf's best mate moved away years after she passed away

and I was so desperate not to lose that link, I begged her stay.

-Years after, yeah?

-Mm-hm.

Sorry, I wish I could tell you that stuff stops, but...

..it does happen less.

Well, that's something, then.

And I will say this, getting angry doesn't help.

You know, at people who don't get it.

If there's anything that's going to keep you stuck in the past,

it's that.

You surprise me.

Yeah, I didn't have you down as one for deep conversation.

PHONE VIBRATES

Oh, no, that's the school!

Was supposed to pick the kids up! I'm really late!

-Thank you.

-Thanks very much.

How long do you have to prepare for that?

Just this morning.

I just threw everything together last minute.

-Was it obvious?

-I think that went well.

You going out on the rounds tomorrow, I gather?

-Yeah, Isle of Dogs development.

-Take Lauren with you.

-I don't know. I'll be quicker on my own.

-We need location shots.

Yeah, but she ain't been well, has she?

-I'm fine, Dad.

-This is good experience for her.

Plus, after that performance, I think she's earned it, don't you?

-All right, fine, I'll take her.

-Great.

And, Lauren, the investors seemed really happy.

You'll be his boss in no time.

'Jack, it's Charlie.'

'I know you were expecting a phone call from Matthew,

'but we decided...'

'Look, he just... He needs to settle in, you know?

'Get used to things, so he won't be calling again.

'I'm sorry, Jack.'

Sorry about that. The traffic was chaos.

-You all right, you two?

-Can we call Matthew now?

Just get in the car, love. Come on.

Go on, mate.

Watch your feet.

-I need to speak with you, if I may.

-Yeah?

Amy's been disruptive today.

Held up a class for ten minutes refusing to do her work.

-Perhaps we could discuss my concerns?

-Your concerns?

Everyone here realises how hard things must have been at home.

Have been?

-Well, continue to be...

-Look, what you thinking?

What, she's still making too much of a deal out of

-the death of her mother?

-Please, don't get angry.

I'm sorry.

You're right, and I will find time to talk to you,

but right now I got to take them home and give them some bad news.

So, yeah, we'll do this, but can we do it tomorrow, please?

Thank you.

Oh! I didn't see you there.

I'll just finish up and I'll go and get Pearl her bath.

You all right?

Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just being silly.

Kush?

Forget that man-child.

It's hard enough looking after Pearl.

-What's that?

-Oh, nothing. Nothing.

It's a council job application form.

But I like it here.

You said I was a nightmare, remember?

And do you know what? You're right too.

-Look, you deserve better now that you got a GCSE.

-If I pass!

You think they won't give you a job? They will.

Look, you can do this, Denise.

Fill in the form, I'll take Pearl tomorrow, and forget about Kush.

That boy needs to man up before he deserves a woman like you.

-What you doing here?

-Just, you know, nipped in for a drink after work.

-Yeah.

-That's a massive lie.

-He just wanted to see how your date goes.

-I cancelled on her.

What? What, Emma?! Why?!

Eh... Right.

Would you come to me for advice?

Well, yeah. Yeah, if I wanted to know how to get a six pack.

Yeah, or, you know, work a dating app.

Not that I would obviously you know cos I'm so happy in love.

So, I'm just a good time Charlie, then?

No. No, I'm not saying that.

I was so angry at Dee for dumping me instead of talking to me.

Oh, Kush, you are a lovely bloke, we were joking.

But if she can't open up, then that's on me, isn't it? Right?

Cos I'm such a big kid that she doesn't think I'm going to get it.

No, you ain't a big kid.

Right, I am 31 years old, I'm still being fed by my mum.

Well, most men would kill for that.

Still chatting up girls online when I got a son that I hardly see,

-I got a business that's going nowhere.

-Look, mate,

if you don't like it, then, you know, just change it up.

Right.

Right, OK.

And this is the first step.

PHONE BEEPS

That's amazing. I'm going to be the favourite daughter by far.

Hey, come on. I thought we said sibling rivalry wasn't healthy?

Sorry, I forgot you were my life coach these days.

I've had such a nice day with you.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Yeah, and I'll make sure Louie gets you a card.

You're an amazing dad.

I better get him bathed.

-This really isn't fair on you.

-What?

Just having to do everything. Ignore me.

I want kids too one day, you know? It's funny.

On paper we'd make the perfect couple.

-Yeah?

-What's funny?

It's... You're a bit young to be having kids, Abs.

A bit young?

Yeah, come on. You're barely out of school!

-He needs to get used to his new home.

-But we want him here!

You're his dad!

No, Charlie's his dad.

-Is Charlie our dad?

-What?

-No! No, of course not.

-I wish he was!

Amy! Oi!

It's all right. They don't mean it.

Just upset, ain't they?

You know, Ronnie would have dealt with that.

I'm hopeless.

I can't be their mum and their dad.

You're home early.

Hello. I know, I want to see my boy, don't I? Where is he, then?

Babe, I've literally just got him back down again.

-Oh, you all right, Abs?

-She's not that early.

Half an hour!

And guess who was the star of the show today?

Josh said that I'll be Dad's boss in no time.

And all under the weather too.

I know, imagine how powerful I'll be when I'm match fit.

Imagine.

LOUIE CRIES

-Babe, could you?

-Why's he got to do everything?

-No.

-No, it's fine. You just got in from work.

Have a seat and I'll make you a cuppa when I come back down.

What would I do without you?

So, what you doing here anyway?

I needed help with my party invites, so...

Well, I'm actually glad that you're here.

I want to say sorry, for earlier.

I wouldn't be able to cope with all this if it weren't for you.

Well, I think it's Steven who feels taken for granted.

I know, and I'll make it up to him. I promise.

Work was so good today.

I just feel like everything's going to be OK.

Finally.

Well, as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.

-Rehearsals was great.

-Yeah, best by far. Text me later.

And don't get into any rap battles on your way home, OK?

-OK. I won't. See you later.

-Bye.

-Lou, you all right?

-Yeah.

Listen, if you want to go to Lund then, well, we've talked about it,

and that isn't something you should have to do on your own.

You're not on about Keegan, are you?

Yeah, going around telling everyone what you did,

that is a form of bullying.

-You shouldn't stand for it.

-We didn't do anything.

Yeah, I'd deny it too, girl.

What, so you believe him over me?

-I thought we were friends!

-Yeah, of course!

But we can't deny what we saw though.

What you saw?

-Do you even remember?

-She was so wasted.

-What you talking about?

-The party. You was all over him.

You was upstairs for time.

State of them both when they came down though.

-I was only showing him the bathroom.

-So, you're saying we're lying?

No, I'm not.

But, I would know, wouldn't I?

Why didn't you say anything the next day?

Cos it's embarrassing. I mean, Keegan.

Nah.

No, Alex, I would remember. I know, I would remember.

So, he's lying about that birthmark too?

The one shaped like a question mark? He's been telling everyone.

So, you did.

Nah, you lost your virginity, then forgot that happened?

-That is so tragic, babes.

-No, it's... No, it's not...

..cos it didn't happen.

OK?

See you later.

Actually mad.

So, I take it work wasn't worth getting squashed for today?

There's this man on the Tube.

He had a nosebleed, I had a hanky.

Anyway, I saw him again today.

Oh! I wondered why you'd had your hair done!

And? Did you talk to him?

He was just getting off when I saw him.

You seem disappointed? So, we've got you a fancy man!

You'll be riding that Tube night and day till you see him.

Oh, I'll be out the door earlier than Louise!