19/06/2017 EastEnders

Ta-da!

Go on! Open it, then!

I was hoping for a nice clean handprint,

but he had other ideas, didn't you?

Hey? Maybe he was just being artistic.

-Yeah, maybe.

-Do you not like it, then?

Oh, no. I love it.

-Look, it's the best card I could have hoped for.

-See? He likes it!

When are you, um, taking your dad out for his treat?

When he gets out of bed.

Oh, a lie in. Imagine that!

TV ON

Fancy some toast?

-Cup of tea?

-DOORBELL

Bit early for a Sunday, isn't it?

Maybe Sharon's forgotten her keys.

-Party?

-It's just so my daughter can find the house.

She's bringing the grandkids round. Oh, love. Your poor face.

-Oh, no. I'm fine, really.

-I don't want to be nosy,

but I've just seen the police going up towards your house.

You don't think they're going to ask you about that awful woman, do you?

Excuse me.

-Oh, my days!

-What?

Crystal's posted a video of her dad lying on the floor with

a fried egg on his forehead.

And then the dog comes in and licks it off.

What did he do that for, then?

-Cos he's hungry.

-Not the dog, the dad!

Oh, don't know. Father's Day, making him do stupid stuff.

You see? This is what you're missing out on, kids.

This is a father, a grown man who's so flamin' redundant,

his family use him as a dog bowl!

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yeah, that's me.

Breakfast!

Want me to take some pics while you're pumped?

Pumped?! Chatty Man's got bigger guns than him!

That's the police. They want you at the station.

-Are they going to charge him?

-Well, that's what we're going to find out.

Oh, I thought we were going to have to send out the search party.

Er, yeah, I overslept.

Right, well, grab your jacket. I'm taking you to the caff.

-It's Sunday.

-I told you I was opening up at nine for Father's Day.

I know you didn't want a fuss, but I'm thinking bacon and eggs.

-Lean bacon, poached eggs.

-One day!

Um, I'm late, so I'm already behind with the prep, OK?

So, um, another time, yeah?

Course, yeah. Well, I'll see you at the restaurant.

Steven, it's not you.

I think he'd rather just forget the whole day.

I'm off to the flower market with Dot. See you later.

OK.

Oh, Steven, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Just pretty sure if Peter was here,

they'd be halfway through breakfast by now, but whatever.

Look, I'm sure that's not true.

I get that it's hard for him. I do.

It's just sometimes when he looks at me,

he doesn't actually see me.

It's the worst version of what he's already lost.

Do you know what I think?

I think you have every right to show

how you feel about your dad on Father's Day.

-Here you go.

-Cheers.

What's Oscar got to say for himself?

He's a man of few words.

A bit like his dad.

You should give him your address.

I will, yeah.

-Oi, right. That's it.

-Hey!

-Oi!

I've laid out your outfits on your beds, all right?

-First one to eat, get dressed, gets a sticker.

-Yay!

-I'm going to beat you!

-Made a new chart for them.

First one to ten stickers gets a reward.

Imagine our dad doing the sticker chart?

-Don't sound like you need a nanny.

-Oh, no. I need one.

Yeah, most days I feel like I'm on a tightrope.

Can't look down, cos if I do...

Well, you're doing a good job.

I know it's not easy today.

I just can't stop thinking about Matthew.

Ronnie would want me to speak to him right now and I can't.

-I know, it's just hard.

-Yeah, well, it's for the best, isn't it?

You know, in the long run.

Best for you as well, you know it is.

You got your hands full, you know? Don't need more grief, do you?

Thanks.

For what?

Putting me straight. I know it can't be easy for you today either.

You know, what with Bradley and Oscar.

Yeah, well, we are where we are, so that's that, isn't it?

So, nothing we can do about it.

-Just not good to bottle things up.

-What are you, my counsellor?

Sorry. I know you're just trying to help.

I'm going to go for a little walk. I'm meeting Abi at the caff, so...

Have a good day, yeah?

Yeah.

I'll see you later.

See you later.

-See you, kids.

-Bye!

-OK, bye, Louise.

-I'll show you out.

-Thanks.

-Bye.

Well, they seemed nice, I thought.

Given the situation.

You didn't ask any questions, and I understand.

But if you want to ask me anything, you know...

-Where are you going?

-I can't breathe in here.

Have you got your phone?

Want me to try and get her back?

No.

She's been cooped up all weekend.

She's angry. And I don't blame her.

What did the police say?

Well, they've finished their investigation.

The CPS looked at the interviews and physical examination results and

said there wasn't enough evidence for a successful prosecution.

So as far as they're concerned,

Keegan's telling the truth this time.

-He made it up.

-So they're just letting him off?

-Mm.

Wish I'd told Phil. Bit of rough justice.

No, that would have been bad for Louise.

And bad for Phil.

You said yourself, you were worried about how it'd affect his recovery.

You've just got to let things settle down.

Give her some time, yeah?

I held her when she was being examined.

She was shaking, she was visibly shaking.

A trauma like that can damage you for good.

I just hope that boy understands what damage he's done.

They let you off?

No further action.

I don't know what you're so pleased about. You got a juvenile warning.

-That's serious. That ain't some kind of medal.

-Yeah, well, you can talk.

-Excuse me?

-At least I didn't hit no-one.

I was defending you! That doesn't mean I like what you've done.

Lying about sleeping with that girl?! I'm ashamed!

Where you going?

Listen.

With any luck, they've murdered each other.

Oh, don't be so wicked. There's children upstairs.

Must have gone out.

-Let's hope they stay out until Judith's gone.

-Shouldn't be hard.

Last time, she was in and out of the house with those kids so fast,

I could have held my breath for the duration.

They've got busy lives. Now, you be nice to them, Ted, for my sake, eh?

-Come on.

-Of course.

Better check the roast.

I hope you've kept the packaging that proves it's organic.

Cos she'll ask.

Thanks, mate. Thanks. That's... That means a lot.

Ah, it should. Cards that fancy - they don't come cheap!

Right, do you want to go and see Daddy Kush?

Come and see Daddy Kush! Go on, then! Let's go to Daddy Kush!

-Come on then. Come on then.

-You two,

-have a brilliant day together, won't you?

-Yeah, we will.

We will, won't we? Come on, let's go.

Say bye-bye. Say bye.

-Thanks, mate. See you later.

-Bye, little man.

Bye!

Aw! You're so good with him.

-Arthur?

-No, Kush.

Oh. Yeah, well, Kush makes it easy, doesn't he?

I'm giving you an open goal here.

If you don't want to take the shot...

All right, I admit it. I am brilliant.

Getting Kush a card from Arthur - that's really thoughtful.

This little baby is going to have the best dad in the world.

FOOTSTEPS

Lily?

-DOOR SLAMS

-The baby. Do you think she heard?

What can I get you?

We're all right for a minute. We're just waiting for Lauren.

So, hopefully, about five minutes.

Cheers.

-You invited Lauren?

-Well, yeah.

She called, she wanted to meet over the Vic.

I said she might as well meet us here.

Is that a problem?

-This was my treat.

-Abs, if it's about the money,

-I'll sort you out.

-It's not about the money.

-If Lauren had asked you somewhere, would you have invited me?

-Yeah.

-Do you know what? He will love that.

-You think?

-I know.

So, when are you going to give it to him?

I don't know. I thought maybe at the end of service.

I don't want to make a big deal out of it.

What did we say before? No more walking on eggshells.

-Bex, can you manage for ten minutes?

-Yeah.

There you go. Come on, you.

-All right. You all right?

-Come on. You'll see her later in the Vic.

-All right, Lauren?

-Hi.

-Sorry I'm late.

-It's all right.

-Something came up.

-Oh, yeah?

What something?

A secret something.

-Whatever it is, you look pretty happy about it.

-I am.

-Happy Father's Day, Dad.

-Thank you very much.

-Made Steven one as well.

-Aw, it's cute, isn't it?

Hey? Right little Picasso, ain't he?

Aw, that's lovely.

-Can I get him out?

-No, he's sleeping.

We've had a bad night. Been up and down, up and down.

-Was I like that when I was little?

-No.

Good as gold.

Not like Abi.

She would scream blue murder every night. It was a nightmare.

-Right little drama queen.

-Nothing's changed there, then.

Where you going?

Well, they offered me a shift at the Vic and I turned it down

because I thought I'd be discussing my 21st birthday plans with my dad.

-But I could do with the money. Enjoy brunch.

-Abs, don't be like that.

BALLOONS POP

Joyce?

Joyce, don't upset yourself. She's not worth your tears.

Not one.

So, what was her excuse this time?

-Toby's got gastroenteritis.

-And they wait till now to tell us?

-Well, he was sick en route.

-Yeah, course he was(!)

I don't suppose they even left the house.

-It's like Christmas all over again.

-Well, if you were

a bit more welcoming, if you just tried a bit harder...

We've got to believe them, haven't we? Haven't we, Ted?

Toby was ill, he was ill.

Sick. If we don't believe them, what's the alternative?

We'll get little Toby a get well card, eh?

That's your Father's Day ruined.

No, don't you worry about me. Right, I'll go and buy a card.

-Maybe I'll stop off for a pint on the way back.

-DOOR SLAMS

-That's good, that is!

-CHUCKLES

-What?

-My Nancy, she sent one of them e-cards.

It's a bulldog dressed as a baby.

Yeah. Go on, have a pipe. Touch the screen. Go on, go on.

'Happy Father's Day!' DOG BARKS

What's the matter with you?

Killjoy!

-Dad?

-What?

-Can we talk about lunch?

-Come on, Lil.

Do you want to pick a table?

She definitely heard something. She's acting weird.

So, why hasn't she said anything, then?

You'd think she'd at least be excited, Stace.

Maybe she feels threatened. Arthur's one thing, but another baby?

Well, she might think we're going to forget about her.

It's simple, all right? Dads get a meal for free. That's it.

-What if he says he's a dad, but we ain't sure?

-That's easy.

Have a little look at his boat.

If he looks tired, he looks miserable,

if he looks like he's given up on life, then he's a dad.

No, they've got to have kids with them. I ain't giving out food

to a load of old geezers. This ain't a soup kitchen.

True. No, they've got to have the kids. The kids prove the dadness.

Well, how do we know they're HIS kids? They could be any old kids.

What we'll do is we'll DNA test them, DNA test the kids, yeah?

Go on, get on with it. What's the matter with you?

-For crying out loud! Abi, Abi.

-Yeah?

-You all right?

You seem a bit quiet, babe.

-Yeah, of course. I'm fine.

-Yeah?

Good. Good.

Oh, milady!

Didn't think you were going to grace us with your presence today.

Well, I was thinking about what you said last week,

how if you're doing a family event the kids often get bored and

parents have to take them home.

-So, kids' colouring corner.

-Oh, no, yeah, that sounds good.

This ain't a creche!

I think we're whatever we need to be to keep mum and dad buying the beer.

Yes, squire. What can I get you?

Lil, is there anything that you want to say to Mummy?

Cos I think that maybe you heard me say something earlier.

Is that what this is about?

-Did you hear me say that we were going to have another baby?

-A baby?

You said you heard something.

You got Kush a card from Arthur and I haven't sent one to my dad.

Oh.

Oh, Lil.

-Aw! I'm sorry. But we can call him later, yeah?

-A baby?

Er, yeah. It's a secret.

It's a big fat secret.

OK?

There we go. A nice bit of cake.

Who was that?

Josh.

-Still sniffing about, is he?

-He wasn't sniffing about.

Well, so why is he texting you at the weekend?

I don't think he knows what a weekend is, Dad.

Never seems to switch off.

-Look, what I said to you about him being engaged...

-It's irrelevant.

You didn't need to worry. He's my boss. That's all he's ever been.

Just because you told me that he's got a fiancee,

it doesn't change anything.

I've got Steven.

Well, that's good, Lauren.

Just pleased you're not upset at me.

Being overprotective and putting your foot in it?

Standard procedure for a dad, isn't it?

MOBILE RINGS

It's Steven.

Hello?

Er, sorry to interrupt, everybody.

-What are you doing?

-This is my dad.

Ian. He's spending his Father's Day cooking for you all.

But I just wanted him to know how much he's appreciated.

He told me one of you wanted to complain.

-LAUGHTER

-So, Dad, this is for you.

-Happy Father's Day.

-APPLAUSE

Michelle, I've found her.

Yeah, she's in the park. I'll call you back.

Hey.

Been looking for you.

Look, I know you're hurting,

and I understand why,

but the way you're dealing with it,

closing off, not talking,

it's not good for you, Lou.

What happened...

Oh, it's humiliating and scary and it's terrible.

But you need to let them feelings out.

I want my dad.

We all want your dad, sweetheart.

But I am here every step of the way.

It might help if... Well, if you could tell me what you're thinking.

Lou?

How did he know about my birthmark?

I don't know.

The examinations, all them interviews,

and nobody's explained how Keegan knew about that.

Unless he did it.

Unless he did what he said he did.

And he's talked his way out of it,

like he talks his way out of everything.

And what can I do?

Cos I can't remember nothing! Cos I'm stupid, Sharon!

-I'm a stupid girl!

-This is not your fault.

None of it.

There is only one person responsible and that is Keegan.

'Keegan, it's your mum. I know we argued,

'but you've been gone for hours and I'm worried about you.

'Just call me, OK?'

It's not that I don't like it or anything. It's, um...

I just look a bit fat, you know.

And since I've been on this diet and I'm losing weight, I...

You understand, don't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, course I do.

There you go, Patrick. A large one.

A large one. What did I do to deserve that?

Fatherly services above and beyond the call of duty.

-Oh, please!

-What's wrong with you?

Got a problem with open shows of affection?

Patrick doesn't need me hanging off him in public to know how I feel

about him. Next round, you buy him a bottle of rum, you hear me?

Cheers!

-Cheers!

-Cheers!

Great idea, that colouring table. Lily loves it.

Colouring? Pearl, shall we take a look?

-Colouring? Well, that is my speciality!

-Know what?

It's just a cynical attempt to keep backsides on seats

-and the tills ringing.

-Well, it's working.

-No kids for half an hour, it's well worth it.

-No Arthur, then?

No, he's out with Kush.

Right, I think my work here is done.

The children of Walford are pacified, the parents are liberated,

so I'm going to go and sprinkle my fairy dust elsewhere.

-I'll pop in during the week.

-Yeah. See you later on, Tinkerbell!

Den is upstairs in his room.

-Could you keep an eye on Louise till I get back?

-Course. Where you going?

Talk to that boy.

-Sure that's a good idea?

-I don't care if it is or it isn't.

She needs answers about what happened that night and I can't

give them to her. I'm going to make damn sure he does!

Abs, if you've finished work, just come and sit with me

-and Lauren, will you?

-I wouldn't want to break up the love-in.

Don't be stupid. How many of those have you had?

Not enough.

Oh, he loved his photo, didn't he? Do you know what? I'm proud of you.

-What for?

-Well, you stood up, showed him how you felt. It takes guts.

Yeah, thanks, Gran,

but I'm not sure he loved it quite as much as you think he did.

-Oh, yes. Course he did. Did you see it, Lauren?

-Sorry?

-The photo.

-Er, no, I didn't.

Look, just give me a minute.

BELL SOUNDS

Right.

I want to thank all you saucepan lids, young and not so young,

for dragging your dads up the Vic, and dads, I hope that free bit

of grub brought some fleeting joy to your miserable, miserable existence.

To fathers, eh?

-To fathers!

-To fathers!

-To fathers, yeah.

-To fathers.

-To fathers.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Oscar!

-Hi, Dad.

-What's happening?

-So, this is your secret!

-Uncle Jack's idea.

No, no. Lauren was a big help.

She talked Tanya round. Honey kept the kids and I drove, didn't I?

So good to see you!

Do you want a drink?

Come on.

-You all right?

-You didn't tell me.

Well, Uncle Jack only suggested it this morning.

-Well, then, you had hours to let me know.

-Yeah, and I would have done

if you weren't being such a weird cow in the caff.

-Oh, this is Louie's dad, is it?

-Yeah. That's right.

-Steven, this is Ted. He's moved in across the Square.

-Hey.

-You all right?

-You can see the likeness straight off.

-Oh, beg your pardon. Have I...?

-No.

It's just Steven isn't actually Louie's dad. That's my son, Peter.

Ah, my mistake. See, I thought that you were father and son.

Er, no, he's my first wife's son.

-Not Jane's boy, then?

-No.

I mean, his mum, unfortunately, she died.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

Still, you've kept the relationship going, haven't you?

That's something.

-Well, that's good.

-Yeah, sorry, I'm going to have to go.

-It was lovely to meet you.

-Steven, hold on, hold on.

-It's fine, Dad, I just forgot my wallet, that's all.

-Sorry.

Did you know that Lauren was bringing our brother here?

Not now, Abi.

-Are you going to tell me what you want?

-To speak to Keegan.

Keegan ain't in!

Right. Then I'll wait till he is.

She knows? Well, you've got to start telling people, haven't you?

I was enjoying the secret.

And I don't know how people are going to react after last time.

Might surprise you.

Well, I hope so.

Ah! Here he is!

Little man!

-Hey, look. It's Mummy.

-Have you been a good boy?

-Yes, he has.

He's been brilliant. Ain't you? Hasn't stopped smiling.

Thanks for letting us have your baby brother for a while, Lily.

I know how much you love him.

He's all right, but I hope the new one's a girl.

Oh.

Argh!

Steven!

Has Ian done something?

No, it's not his fault.

You can't make yourself feel something you don't.

Do you think that Ian doesn't care about you?

Not as much as the others, no.

Basically, I'm not Peter.

I know how that feels.

I've been living in Lauren's shadow my whole life

and I'd understand it if she was perfect, but she's not.

-She's a selfish primadonna.

-Don't talk about her like that, all right?

Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're under her spell an' all.

-She is the one good thing in my life!

-Good? You have no idea!

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. I didn't... Nothing, OK? She IS perfect.

-She's totally perfect.

-Where are you going?

Abi, what's that supposed to mean? Oi!

-BELL SOUNDS

-Everyone, have a little listen up.

Sorry for interrupting your drinks, everyone.

I know you're all probably wondering why I'm stood here.

Truth be told, so am I.

Look, you all know what happened to our family last year.

But we got through that and we came out stronger.

I can't tell you how proud I am of my beautiful wife, Stace.

And all my family, especially you, little man.

Father's Day, eh?

Um...

Well, being a dad is easily the most amazing thing I've ever done.

It's not always plain sailing, is it? But you all know that anyway.

I don't need to tell you that.

We was kind of hoping to hold on to this secret a little bit longer,

but you know how you can't keep secrets around here...

We're having a baby!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Problem?

Arthur's still young. He needs his mum.

Now, there's a good chance that mum's going to flip out again.

Don't talk about it like that.

I'm sure they've thought it all through.

It's a risk, Kush. A risk they didn't need to take.

-What were you going to say?

-I'm not having this conversation.

Why? Cos you can't back it up? You just go round dropping

your little bombs and then you just walk away!

Do you know what, Abi? There's a reason your dad prefers Lauren!

It's cos she's actually a good person.

Yeah? She don't go around

bad-mouthing people behind their backs.

No, she doesn't. She just aborts their babies instead!

What did you say?

What did you say?

Lauren was pregnant with your child and she had a termination.