Steven tries to regain control. Carmel gets a glimpse of Max's true colours.
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So, what's the deal with Whitney?
Are you sharking on Whit's room?
Well, yeah, if it's going spare?
So, is she coming back?!
-No, she's not.
-Well, can I have it?
-Ollie's having it.
He's only little...
I'm a fully grown woman sharing a room with her stinky sister.
OK. Ollie can have your room and you two can get the spare.
Just do as your told, will yous?
How much longer are you going to be kipping on there?
-Today. My train's at 2.
Well, why didn't you say?
It was just a last-minute thing.
My mum called me last night and...you were asleep.
So what's the hurry?
I want to tell Mum in person.
Especially after what happened with Nan.
OK, well, um... I'll come with you.
-You've got appointments.
-Yeah, well, I'll just miss them.
Like it's going to make any difference...
Don't say that.
Look, I'm sorry, but I could really do with just a couple of days
to get my head straight.
A couple of days away, just...just for me.
OK, well, look, you can't tell her about the tumour.
I just find it easier to carry on as if everything's normal.
So... When do you think you'll be back?
I'm not sure, maybe some time next week?
Well, I...I better get Louie ready.
Listen, you were supposed to vacate the property yesterday. So call me.
Long time. You sound stressed.
Nah, nah. Not really.
Good to see you looking well.
How's Louise doing?
Well, she's glad to be out of hospital.
It'll be a long time before she's properly better.
I'm sorry to hear that. You feel helpless, don't you?
When your kids are in pain.
Yeah, you just wish you could take it on for them, don't you?
This'll have to do.
You all right, lover boy?
You treating her right?
-Good. Cos she's happy.
So am I.
Did you know about Lauren visiting Tanya?
Well, she is, and I need you to go and convince her it's a bad idea.
Why would I do that?
Good question, lover boy.
So I'm right, then.
You don't want anyone to know
what you were up to in the Vic toilets the other night.
Well, she's leaving at lunch. You've got to stop her.
How am I supposed to do that?
I have faith in you.
Why don't you just date Fi? She's fit.
-Why don't you just stay out of my business?
I'm thinking the suite with the pool view?
Oh, that's wonderful!
Well, I've only got five minutes
and I need to check with a couple of people first.
Can I ring you back?
This is your direct line?
Thanks so much, Theresa. That's fantastic.
I'll...I'll call you back. Yeah, bye!
Shaki. I need to tell you something.
I've met someone.
Yeah, I heard you.
And I'd like you to meet him properly.
-Do I have to?
He might be staying over from time to time.
Can't you just tell me when he's going to be coming over,
and I can stay on Kush's sofa or whatever?
The point isn't to avoid him, the point is to get to know him.
Are you getting married?
Don't be silly. I'm too old to get married.
Do you want a coffee? I cannot wake up today, me.
I had one earlier.
Ollie, earlier - I couldn't believe it,
I gave him a duck and he started quaking.
And he knew what a dog was and a...and a cow.
Struggled with a pig, though, to be fair.
Yeah, well he's been doing that for a while.
Yeah, course he has.
I feel like I've missed out on so much.
So you're staying now? Your mum...
-Yeah, she's doing better than she has in ages.
I'm going to go back today - pick up the rest of my stuff.
That's such good news.
Such good news.
-I'll come with you, give you an hand.
-No, no, no.
No, it's fine. It won't take me long.
Besides, I've been dealing with it on my own for long enough.
How long have I got to sleep on a settee?
We'll talk about it later, all right?
Bin that junk from the spare room.
You going out?
I dunno. Maybe. Why?
No reason. I just thought it might be nice to get out, get a coffee.
You've been hiding away so much.
I know why Linda chucked you out.
Nothing happened. Not really.
Why, what did she say?
Not much. But she seems pretty upset.
It was a silly peck. It meant nothing.
Is that why you can't look me in the eye?
Look, you and Mick, you must've spent a lot of time together
while Linda was away.
You know, working together, you're living in the next room.
-Stace, it weren't like that.
-He's a nice guy.
You'd been let down, I could see why you'd start to have feelings.
But it weren't just me! It was him an' all.
Oh, what, the silly peck?
I suppose we both got a bit confused.
It meant nothing, OK?
I'm not a home-wrecker. That's why I went away.
And got engaged to Woody?
-I love Woody.
-Oh, Whit, you've known him five minutes!
I do. I know he can make me happy, Stace. I know he can.
-Whereas Mick, he's...
-Yeah, yeah. I get it.
Please don't judge me.
I ain't. I promise.
I'm just worried about you.
Well, it'll all blow over. It will, you'll see.
So, now you know, I was thinking Max and I could come on holiday too!
Yeah, I don't see why not?
-That'll just even up the numbers, won't it?
No more third wheeling.
-We never said that, Mum!
Well, now there's going to be no-one left out,
we could sign up to loads of couples activities!
Although, it does up the ante a bit, don't it?
-Do you think I can still get away with a bikini?
I am going to have to have a spray tan.
-Oh, and, Kush...
You're coming over to dinner on Tuesday night.
Max is meeting Shaki properly
and I really need you there to keep the conversation flowing.
This isn't happening.
Oh, come on. She's excited, we can't spoil it for her.
And besides, it's nice you get to spend some more time with your mum.
-Not everyone's got such a tight-knit family.
Anyway, look, I've only got an hour so... I'll see you later.
Yeah, yeah. See ya.
You throwing her stuff out?
Doesn't look like you've got started.
It feels like a liberty binning it.
Maybe I should call her, see what she wants me to do with it, or...
Don't be an idiot, Mick.
Do what Linda says, bag it all up and put it on the street.
It wasn't her fault though. I don't want her to get all the blame.
You start sticking up for her, you're going to lose Linda.
-And your family. Is that what you want?
How you doing?
No, no, not yet.
I've left a couple of messages for the tenants,
but they've not got back yet.
Yeah, but I'm aware of that and I'm dealing with it.
Hm. Right charmer.
No, it's just a colleague at work. He's not big on manners.
What you need...
-is a little bit of TLC.
-Yeah. Yeah, I wish.
Feels nice doesn't it? Being able to do this in public.
Good, because, well, after the other night,
I thought it was pointless keeping it from the boys.
So I told Shaki.
And I've arranged dinner for Tuesday evening.
Invite the girls. What do you think?
You have told them...about us?
No, not yet.
Oh, right. But it's important, isn't it?
I mean, we get off on the right foot.
I don't want them thinking I'm trying to be their mother or something.
What? Why's that funny?
Just they ain't going to think that, are they?
They're grown women.
It's not like we're getting married.
No, course not. Sorry if I sounded a bit full-on.
You know, when you made that announcement the other night,
Well, it really meant something.
Sorry, am I keeping you?
Are you OK? Only I'm...
-I'm getting a sort of vibe, like...
Right. Well, Tuesday evening.
-Put it in the diary, yeah?
-Yeah, I'll let you know.
Actually, I tell you what. Don't bother.
I've clearly got the wrong end of the stick here. I...
I thought we were starting a grown-up relationship,
but I forgot.
I'm dating a middle-aged school boy.
Is Linda joining us?
-She's not here today.
-Where is she?
Picking up the rest of her stuff from her mother's.
Right. Well, I'm really pleased she's back, but the reason that I
called this meeting was to find out what's going on with the staff...
and Linda taking off on a whim is exactly my case in point.
It's Linda's first week back, so couldn't give it five minutes
before you go on the attack, could you?
I'm not going on the attack.
I just want to get everything clear.
For example - Whitney leaving, again.
Is that a permanent decision,
or is it something that's going to be reversed?
And Linda's her direct replacement?
Linda's the governor. Whitney's a barmaid.
You know, Whitney was really popular.
If we're losing a younger crowd because of her,
then I think we need to address it.
Point taken, Fi. Point taken.
Let's just make things clear, CRYSTAL CLEAR,
Linda's back, so this place is going to start getting back to normal.
This is a family-run pub, we know what the people want.
So I think it's about time we got rid of this old thing, don't you?
Have you even looked at them?
Let's have a pipe.
HE CLEARS THROAT
-"Scrap the new craft ale.
"It tastes like dog wee."
It's a strong old suggestion.
I don't think I'll be renewing the order.
But if you and Linda are trading on "the authentic family gaffe",
then I suggest you keep your domestics upstairs.
While I'm here, I might as well do a spot check.
Knock yourself out, girl.
BANGING ON DOOR
You're cutting it fine, aren't you?
You all right, Lauren?
Dad, if you're here to talk about you snogging Carmel's
-face off, then I ain't got time.
-No, no, no.
I'm not here to talk about that.
You're going to go and visit Mum?
Yeah. Yeah. Just for a few days.
-Why? Did Steven tell you?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I bumped into him earlier.
-No, I just wanted to pop over...
and just to say have a great time.
Yeah, just give your brother a hug and say hello to your mum?
-Yeah, I will do.
-OK, see you later.
You sure there's nothing else?
Think about it, Max...
Think about what?
I don't know. No idea.
You and Carmel? How you're an item now?
Yeah, well... I mean, she's not your usual type, is she, Dad?
-Well, what's that mean?
Yeah, well, it is what it is.
-I ain't really gotta discuss that with my daughter, have I?
-Right, that'll be my cab.
Babe, could you grab Louie for me and I'll take these out?
-See you later.
What're you playing at?
Max, I'm serious, OK. I will tell Carmel about Fi.
Yeah, you could do that. But, see, I could take or leave Carmel.
That's not exactly how you feel about Lauren, is it?
See blackmail only works when you're holding a trump card.
Thanks, mate. Just for reminding me of that.
What is it?
It's from Denise, it's a...
..copy of a letter from...
..the baby's parents.
Is he doing well?
Well, they obviously love him. That's all a kid needs, innit?
-Fancy a cuppa?
-I'll make it.
Linda. You OK?
No, not really.
Come on. Let me buy you a cup of tea.
Thank you for coming in early.
I'm going to get that rota sorted as soon as possible.
Having a clear out?
Is that Whit's?
What, you just going to throw it out? That's low, Mick.
It's complicated, Stace.
-She's gone AWOL and...
-No, she hasn't. She's at mine.
Oh, since when?
Since Linda chucked her out. She didn't want me to say anything.
Oh, right. She sweet?
Yeah, fine. Why?
Leave that stuff, I'll take it when I've finished my shift.
So he told you, then?
Yeah, he said you'd had a falling out.
What exactly did he say?
Look, Linda, I don't really want to...
Why'd you ask me in here for a chat if you didn't want to talk about it?
Look, I've seen him this past year.
All right? He ain't been himself without you.
But he's lucky, I mean, you're back.
And there might be a couple of bumps in the road,
but you two, you're never going to break apart, are you?
Come on, you two, you're like Burton and Taylor, ain't you?
They split up twice.
-All right. Posh and Becks.
I wish Mick looked that good in his pants.
You... You think I should forgive him already?
Well, you're going to, aren't you?
So why don't you save yourself the heartache
and go to the bit where you do?
There you go, sweetheart.
Carmel? Have you got a minute?
Well, I've got to be back at work in five.
Look, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier.
Just caught me at a bad moment, that's all.
Didn't realise I had to pick them.
So who have I got this afternoon, Mr Hyde or...?
No. I'm just human, ain't I?
No, it's just work. It's doing my head in.
Just for that moment, I just couldn't concentrate on dates
and meetings and...
It's not an excuse, I know,
but I am trying to deal with my feelings in a sort of...
more mature, healthy way.
Listen, I do want to get to know Shakil.
And I will tell Lauren and Abi, but they've got busy lives.
Now, there's no rush, is there? I mean, I'm not going anywhere.
Do you want a cup of tea?
Uh, no, I do need to get back to work - sorry.
But Tuesday's in the diary and I'm looking forward to it.
Me too. And thanks for the flowers.
You all right, mate?
I've just thought of a way you can repay me.
Where are you?
Yeah, real cover girl.
Well, I looked a mess after digging at the allotment - much better now!
Oh, listen, um... I'll take them next time.
And I've been thinking, you know, about the camping trip.
Maybe I dismissed it too quickly.
-But, listen, we're only going for one night, yeah?
All right. Get down, get off!
What made you change your mind?
Well, I looked in the mirror and I saw a grumpy old man.
It wasn't always that way. Was it?
No, it wasn't!
Louise is still asleep.
Well, she needs it.
I've been thinking about things.
You know, getting that letter, it's made me
realise, you know, to that kid out there, I'm just some DNA, ain't I?
Don't torture yourself.
I'm not. I'm just saying that's how it is, innit?
Just any idiot can have a kid.
Being a parent,
you know, that's a different thing altogether.
..I want to adopt Dennis.
I just bought your stuff back.
In bin bags. Classy, innit?
-Sorry, I didn't have any bags...
-Mick. Why'd you have to tell her?
So you still got the hump with me?
Course I have. You've made me look like a home-wrecker.
I didn't ask for this. I said we were done.
It is done. I needed to be honest with Linda.
Oh, yeah. The bedrock of your marriage.
Yes. You'll learn that.
-Don't patronise me, Mick.
Can I come in?
You look tired.
So do you.
Been sleeping on the settee.
Oh, she ain't forgiven you, then?
Sorry, it's none of my business.
I feel like a stranger in my own house. It's understandable, really.
It's good to see you.
I'm happy with Woody.
He's like a breath of fresh air.
So what is it that you wanted to say, Mick?
-What is it?
Just a couple of hundred shots - it ain't much, but...
-What, dirty money?
It's what you would've earned if you'd worked this week.
-Call it a redundancy.
-I don't want it.
It's my fault that Linda sacked you, OK? It's my fault.
I understand why you hate me.
I don't hate you. I've moved on.
We're over. Take that away, please.
I dunno. It's been muggins here for the last half hour.
Linda, could I have a word about Shirley?
Why don't you have a word to her face?
I've spoken to you before about using the till as your own
-private cash point.
-£200 is missing.
-Are you losing the plot, Fi-Fi?
-I don't even have a fob key!
-Well, maybe you used somebody else's.
Don't be ridiculous! I wouldn't steal from my own family.
Linda, this really is getting out of hand.
-Now, hang on a minute...
She's just accused me of thieving from the till.
That was me. I'm sorry. I should've said something.
Yeah. You should have.
Why would you take 200 quid out the till?
I needed to...
Oh, I see. You needed to pay off your tart?
Don't call her that.
Look, I think we should just forget I said anything this morning.
I'm sorry, it was below the belt and I won't bring it up again.
Mm. That's beautiful, yeah.
No, I appreciate it.
It takes a big man to apologise.
But unfortunately, Steven, it's a bit late for all that.
I've got some tenants who are refusing to move out.
I want you to give them a little push.
A push? Why would they listen to me?
I don't know.
But if they don't,
you'll have to explain to Lauren why you made up a brain tumour.
I've got faith in you.