22/08/2017 EastEnders

Jay. Why aren't you calling me back?

You know I can't settle until we've sorted this out.

Now, please,

please call me back, yeah?

So, what do I put on the insurance claim form?

Mm? I can't go on holiday because I was fitted up by the Feds?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll, um...

I'll see you in a bit.

-Well?

-We have to meet him down at the Walford nick.

He reckons they ain't going to press any charges.

And that's good, is it?

-Better than doing five years.

-We've lost a holiday.

-How is that in any way good?

-It could have been worse off, is what I'm saying.

So you're just going to accept it?

We should be suing them for racially aggravated...!

What I'm trying to understand is why?!

I mean, why now?

Something has started to give off a bad smell round here.

But if the Feds didn't plant the drugs, who on earth did?

-You're seeing a client?

-Yeah.

-We're meant to be on holiday.

Yeah, but we're not, are we?

You know, seeing as I'm here...

I thought we could do something today. Drive to Epping, maybe.

Carmel, I wish you'd said all that earlier. I've said yes now, haven't I?

Don't be disappointed.

All right?

Yeah. I was just so looking forward to it.

Yeah, and we'll do something tomorrow maybe.

Right, I'll be back later. I don't know what time.

See you later, Shaks.

Do you have a problem?

No, I think you do though.

Excuse me, just wondering

-if you'd be interested in signing our petition.

-Sorry, what?

Well, you'll have heard of this proposal to replace

the community centre with a halfway house for released prisoners?

-What about it?

-Well, do we really want paedophiles and murderers and goodness

knows who else wandering round freely in our community?

-Well, does anyone?

-Exactly.

-No, I haven't got time.

Well, perhaps you'll take a leaflet then?

Shirley! Shirley, any chance of you putting in a shift today?

-Fi won't like it.

-Whitney's gone down with something

and I'm miles behind with my paperwork.

-Go on, then.

-Brilliant.

Oh, and while I've got you, can you do something about this and all?

What have they stuck it on with? Superglue?!

I'd do it myself, only I've got that much on.

Where's that bloke with the clipboard?

-But you'll do it, yeah?

-Yes, I'll do it.

-Cheers, Shirl.

Here, Jay!

You know Walford In Bloom?

Your front garden's totally letting the side down!

This is two days running, Ben. I've got two funerals this morning

and I've got no-one to mind the shop.

Why isn't he answering his phone?

No idea, Bill. He's in a weird place.

This is all since Phil gave him the car lot, isn't it?

I mean, what's he not got to bother any more, now he's got a few quid?

KNOCK AT DOOR Hang on a sec.

Someone's at the door.

Listen, he just left.

He weren't wearing his suit, so I doubt he was coming to you.

I've got to go.

Who was that?

Billy.

-Jay ain't turned up to work again.

-But he's just left, yeah?

Why is it always about him?

Another time, all right?

LAUGHING AND YELLING

Right! I told you two, put this tent away ten minutes ago, didn't I?

Now, if you don't do it, you won't go camping.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Hello? It's us!

Oh, that's Honey. Can you answer it, please?

Hiya!

-What's the problem?

-Problem?!

-Are you excited?

I didn't sleep very well, all right? I've got a headache and I've cut myself shaving!

-Is that good enough for you?! What are they doing here already?

-I told you,

Honey's got a shift at the Minute Mart and asked

-if we could look after the kids till she gets off.

-Hiya!

Wow!

-Are you sure you're all right about this?

-Of course we are.

-Oh, brilliant. Are you excited, Jack?

-Oh, yeah(!)

-Yeah, I'm over the moon(!)

-KIDS LAUGH

-Woke up with a headache. He'll be fine.

-Oh, good.

-Oh.

-Hey.

I'm usually dressed by this time, but I'm on lates this week, honest.

-What did you want?

-Small favour?

-Go on.

I've got to be out all morning, only I've just had a text saying

there's a parcel arriving sometime between nine and one.

-Could I get it redirected here?

-No problem.

Great. Thanks.

How's Bex?

Yeah, she's OK. You know, fretting about her results,

but apart from that, she's fine.

Someone looks smart. Are you going for a new job or something?

No, nothing like that. I'll pop back sometime after lunch, yeah?

-I'll make sure I'm here.

-Cheers.

Thank you.

Jay! Jay!

Jay!

Listen, do me a favour, let me through.

-I don't want to catch a train, I just want to speak to someone.

-Not without a ticket, mate. Sorry.

-Would you like to sign our petition?

-You what?

We're a group of concerned parents and residents,

fighting this proposed halfway house.

Do we really want violent criminals living

right in the middle of a residential community?

Well, speaking as a violent criminal myself, and living here

already, as I do, I don't think I'm quite your target audience, mate.

Nice one. Very good. You almost had me there.

Excuse me.

No explanation. Just - that's it, you can go.

No idea.

Vince is talking to one of his mates from back in the day.

Listen, I'm going to have to call you back, yeah?

All right then.

See you.

Well?

-Well, according to the Feds, they didn't plant no drugs.

-What?

-And you believed him?

-I've known him since I was 21.

He wouldn't lie to me.

Thank you.

All right, Steven? How's the brain tumour?

Any improvements?

-How comes you ain't at work anyway?

-How come you ain't on holiday?

-Oh, you obviously didn't hear about Vincent getting busted.

-No, I did.

I did. What I can't work out is why anyone would have

drugs in their car on the way to the airport.

-Doesn't make any sense.

-No.

No, unless someone set him up.

Why would anyone want to do something wicked like that?

Glad I've seen you anyway.

-Might have a need for you soon.

-No.

No, Max. I am out, OK?

Mate, I don't think you are.

Why are you doing this to me?

Oh, yeah. Cos I can.

Don't be like that. I'll be in touch, yeah?

You ain't quit then?

I guess.

Are you busy?

Mm-hm.

-I'll give you a hand, if you like.

-I'm all right, thanks.

I missed Jay.

Oh, yeah?

-You got any idea where he might be headed?

-No!

He never said anything to you, then?

-What exactly might he have said?

-I can understand you being mad at me.

No, no, no. What else might he have said?

Cos there's more to this than who gets the car lot.

Something else is going on!

Well?

I can't talk to you when you're like this.

And why am I like this? Have you ever asked yourself that?

You can get two new tables in, now that piano's gone. It's brilliant.

-MOBILE ALERT

-Hang on. I need get this.

That can wait.

Something funny?

Is my bra strap showing or something?

-Honestly, it's nothing.

-Right.

Well, what I'm not quite happy about is that.

Whatever happened to consultation?

-According to your suggestion box, people wanted it back.

-Well, ladies' night might be popular,

but half those women spin out that free drink the entire evening.

-Do you think?

-Yeah. If you want to have a laugh with your friends, that's fine,

but don't do it at the expense of a business.

-Now, have you got those figures I asked for?

-All right?

I've scraped it off, but it's going to leave a mark still, so I'm just

-going to get cleaned up and then I'll start behind the bar, shall I?

-Cheers, Shirl.

-So, she's back working?

-Just today. But if it goes well, then who knows?

Right. So, the figures?

I've done them, I've just not printed them out yet.

PIANO TUNING

-Excuse me?

-It's why I was laughing before.

As if we'd ever get rid of the piano!

But half the keys had fag burns in them from the old days,

so I've had them replaced. How's it going, Mick?

OUT OF TUNE

Yeah, lovely. The Old Joanna's going to be good as new.

I'll go print off them figures.

-That's good news.

-Is it?

Yeah, when you consider the alternative.

Look, someone planted drugs in my motor.

-If it weren't the Feds, then who was it?

-I don't know.

-Who have you upset recently?

-Nobody.

And those locks on those cars, they're like Fort Knox, mate.

You can't just break into them like you used to.

-You must have left them open.

-Nah, no way.

-I know how much I paid for it.

-Well, maybe it was the cops.

Maybe your mate was lying.

I do know what they're capable of.

Yeah, look, can I change the subject?

Yeah.

-Thank you very much.

-Cheers.

I put in all this work, doubled the turnover over the last year.

You know, flashy suits, flashy cars, own my own home,

and then something like this happens.

Vincent Hubbard?

He's the still same old street rat that he was when he was 15.

Makes me sick!

Yeah, you know what I'd do if I was you?

Sell up.

It must be worth a fortune, this gaff.

You know, think about putting your feet up.

I don't want to put my feet up.

Mate, sod going to Marbella on holiday. You could be living there.

That's... That's like giving up.

I'll never give up.

And when I find out who done this, they're going to find out

exactly what this little street rat is still capable of.

Yeah.

PIANO

-There you go.

-Thank you.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh. I asked for the catering figures.

-Oh, I thought...

Did you not get my e-mail?

I specifically asked for the catering figures.

-Well, there's just not that much to show so far.

-Why am I not surprised?

It's one of the reasons for bringing back ladies' night, cos they'll eat.

Yeah, but I still need to see the catering figures cos I need to check

on the bar snacks, so can you get them to me for this evening, please?

Oh, Linda. I've just taken a booking for tonight.

At least eight people, two tables.

-And they'll probably be wanting food.

-Oh. Thank you, Shirley.

Yeah, I'll make a note of it. Um, was there anything else?

No, I'll see you at six.

-We need to be heading off soon.

-Yeah, I know.

I've been short-staffed again, babe.

I've had a nightmare of a day.

I'm going to have to put in a couple of hours here first.

But don't worry, you go on ahead, I'll get there as quick as I can.

Billy, we've got loads of stuff.

Yeah, well, you grab what you can and I'll pick up the tent

and the rest of the stuff later on.

-What's the matter?

-It's Jack. He was in a right old mood this morning.

I think he's cross with me for dumping the kids on him.

How many times have you looked after his kids?

Hey, come on. Look, don't worry. He'll be fine by now.

You crack on and I'll be there before you know it. I promise you.

-All right. Mwah.

-See you later.

-See you.

What are you doing here? In fact, how did you even get in here?

PHONE RINGS

I'm going to have to take this.

Hello.

I was about to set off for work. I was worried that you weren't going to show up.

Yeah, well, it all went on a little longer than I was expecting, so...

Thank you.

-Anything interesting?

-I'll let you get on.

Oh. Did you have a good time, wherever it was you've been?

I don't think good time is quite the right phrase.

It was my gran's funeral.

-Oh.

-It's all right. It was a good send off.

Just a shame my dad couldn't be bothered to make it.

-I don't really know what to say.

-That's families for you, eh?

-Thanks again.

-Hang on a minute...

-I'm fine.

-Really.

-Well, if you need...

-Bye.

-Why don't you want to cook?

-It's too much hassle.

But isn't that the whole point of camping?

Look, it's the washing up afterwards. All right?

I just can't be bothered.

So, what kind of takeaway do you want?

I don't know. You choose.

-Here you are. Take it out of that.

-I didn't mean this second.

Have I done something wrong?

Look, I can't find any matches. Have you seen them?

Here.

Erm...

It's nothing to do with you.

What then?

You were like this with Honey this morning and it's not fair on her.

-Especially when she tries so hard.

-Yeah, too hard.

Yoo-hoo!

See what I mean?

Hiya! Where are the little ones?

Oh, they ran into some friends with their mums and dads,

-so we've left them to it.

-Oh, lovely.

-Oh!

-Where's Billy?

-He's having to work late.

Such a shame. So you're just going to have to put up with little old me for the time being. Sorry.

-We're just making a cup of tea.

-Oh, fabulous!

Oh, please say we're going to sing songs round the campfire later.

What was that one I used to sing in Guides?

# Ging gang goolie goolie goolie watcha

-# Ging gang goo, ging gang goo... #

-Right.

-# Ging gang goolie goolie... #

-Jack.

-Where are you going?

-Just going to check on the kids.

-I've got your wallet.

-Yeah.

Still got a headache?

He's been like this all day.

I don't know what's the matter with him.

Right.

Well, then, let's start unpacking. Ooh!

Any questions, please don't hesitate to ask and once again,

our sincere condolences on your very sad loss.

Any time.

OK, goodbye.

Is there a problem?

You're not to ask any questions, all right?

What about?

That was a question.

Sorry.

Don't apologise either.

Do you ever think about your dad?

Why would I?

You ever wonder about him, you know?

I used to.

Not any more. What's the point? I hardly knew him.

Well, how would you feel

if you found out your dad weren't your real dad after all?

Where are you going with all this?

I just want to know how you'd feel, all right?

Confused, I suppose.

Well, then, how would you feel

if you found out your real dad was dead as well?

I don't know. Sad, maybe.

But if I never knew him, what's the odds?

Yeah, that's what I would have thought as well.

Sorry, I don't know what I'm supposed to be saying.

So no change there then, eh?

Hang on a minute. What, you're going?

Listen, if... If Jay shows up, just...

Just ask him to get in touch.

-But you admit that you used the motor earlier?

-So?

-So, did you or did you not leave the car door unlocked?

-No.

Because it wouldn't be the first time, would it?

-I'm sure I didn't.

-See, there's me going round, blaming everyone else,

when it turns out the real idiot is my wife!

Yeah, but I didn't plant the drugs though, did I? Why are you blaming me?

-Where are the kids?

-Over there, enjoying themselves.

I thought I'd leave them to it. Where's Honey?

Making herself scarce.

-Why?

-Why do you think?

Well, what did I say?

Oh, come on, Jack! It was pretty obvious.

Anyway...

I don't think this is really about Honey at all.

You miss her, yeah?

And you're thinking,

I'm taking the kids camping, it's my first time away without her,

she should be here.

Something like that, yeah?

Only bottling it all up inside doesn't help.

And neither does taking it out on other people.

Well, now I see why you didn't want to show me them.

Give us a chance. You can't judge anything on one week's figures.

Have a pipe, look.

They're going to be eating. So things are picking up, aren't they?

PIANO STARTS

-# Any time you're Lambeth way... #

-Yeah!

# Any evening, any day... #

I thought the whole point was to modernise, not go back to the 1940s.

We'd like to order some food, please. There's quite a few of us.

-Are you the guy I saw this morning?

-Yes, indeed.

That's the other thing I was going to ask -

could I leave a copy of our petition behind the bar?

-Did you stick that poster on the wall out there?

-I wouldn't know anything about that.

Just to let you know, it took me a good part of an hour

-to scrape it off!

-I do apologise.

I'll make some enquiries and ensure it doesn't happen again.

-Did you start this?

-Yeah, along with...

How long you lived in Walford?

-Is that relevant?

-Are you worried about the house prices?

Well, it's not the primary concern, but...

-You know what? People like you make me feel sick!

-SINGING STOPS

-And do you know why?

-I beg your pardon?

-You ever been to prison?

-No.

Well, guess what - I have! And it's mayhem.

Girls screaming all night, screaming all day.

And when they're not screaming, they're doped up to their eyeballs!

People like you treat them like scum and they're going to act like scum!

These people have never had an even chance! Dumped on all their lives!

And what happens when they get out? You dump on them more!

Linda, are you going to sort this out?

And you can shove off and all! You stuck up, middle class cow!

You all right, Shirl?

Not really, no.

Is this geezer giving you grief?

The gangster, right? The violent criminal?

I've come in looking for Jay. Has he been in?

No.

You had me this morning, you really did.

Listen, this is my manor, this is my local and Shirley here,

she's one of my oldest friends.

I wasn't looking for an argument.

So what are you looking for, eh? A right-hander?

Now, take your yuppie mates with you and sling your hook!

And don't make me ask you twice! Sling your hook, go on!

I'll have an orange juice, please, Shirl.

Coming up.

Are you seriously going to put up with this? I mean, seriously?

Make it on the house, Mother.

Just so you know, tonight's been noted, OK?

I need five minutes.

Go on, then. As you were.

As you were.

# Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner... #

Thanks, Phil.

For being a mate.

No worries.

If she didn't have it in for us before, she certainly will have now.

Well, we're going to have it with her,

cos I don't care what it says on that lease.

This is our boozer. It's not hers.

Oh, hello.

-I thought you were ill.

-Yeah, I was. But I'm better now, so I thought I'd come in and give you a hand.

It's too late. I've got Shirley in.

Well, off you go.

Wow! They look lovely!

-We decided to cook after all. Didn't we, Jack?

-Yep.

-And stay an extra night.

-Nice.

If you're going to go camping, you might as well do it properly.

Listen, Honey, um...

-About earlier on...

-What?

My stuff. And dumping on you. I'm sorry.

I didn't notice anything.

-Well, these are nearly ready now.

-Brilliant.

I'll go and round up the kids.

Thanks.

KEY IN LOCK

Hello, stranger.

Where you been?

What's all this?

How come?

I've been in the library.

The what?

I don't get it.

What, you mean you can't work it out?

Turns out, your old man's a murderer.