01/09/2017 EastEnders

'Hi, you've reached Steven Beale.

'Really sorry I can't get to the phone,

'but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.'

There you are.

-Been looking for you.

-Problem?

Just had some geezer on the blower from Grafton Hill.

And apparently they want someone from the Vic to make a speech

tomorrow, you know, at this Walford In Bloom. Just a few words.

Declaring it open and...

I would do it, Fi, it's just, I'll be straight with you -

my nut's all over the gaff at the moment

and I'd probably say something stupid and, you know...

So you want me to do it?

Well, nothing fazes you, does it?

Nothing.

Sweet.

-I'm meeting James first thing Monday morning.

-James?

Yeah, you met him at that council do I took you to. Doctor from Barts.

-The ear, nose and throat guy?

-Yeah, but they've got a cancer centre there.

It's one of the best ones in the country.

He's arranged for me to talk to a specialist. It's a mate of his.

Look, I know it's a long shot, but it's worth a try, isn't it?

Don't tell me you haven't been doing any different cos

when I was looking for his contact details on the computer, I could see all the web pages you've been to.

-Treatments for this, drugs for that.

-Yeah, well, the more we know, the more it might help, eh?

Abs? You up there?

'Um, I'm in bed.'

You all right?

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

You were in bed when I came home at lunchtime. You sure?

'Yeah, I'm fine.

-GIGGLES

-'Just stop fussing.'

Nice for some(!)

It's all right. She's gone.

-What time is it?

-I think we lost track of time a bit.

What?

Evening?

Give us a large white wine, will you?

-We're doing a waitressing service now, are we?

-It's not for a punter.

Oh.

For you.

So?

Well, you was having a little skive in the Square earlier.

I'm entitled to the odd break, aren't I?

-Yeah. Giving it large in here...

-And a drink every now and again.

-So, when did it happen?

-What?

When was the real Fi abducted by aliens?

Fi?

-Steven, just calm down.

-What if something's happened to Louie?

Well, she would have said, wouldn't she?

I should never have put my phone on mute. She must have been trying me all afternoon.

Well, if it was anything like that, she would have left you a message.

She wouldn't have just called and said nothing.

And Lauren would be trying you and all.

Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose.

-Look, I'm sorry. It's just...

-No, it's fine.

With everything that's going on, it's bound to get to you sometimes.

You really love Louie, don't you?

He is who all this is for.

And you and me.

Of course, you and me.

Our own proper little family.

I should probably still get back and see what she wants.

Oh, don't forget to take your tablets.

OK.

DOOR OPENS

Everything all right?

Course.

Nothing fazes me.

Which is why you're sitting down here, is it?

I'm just checking the stock.

Well, I did that this morning. You know, you heard me on the blower.

If it's none of my business, you just say and I'll...

It's just a bit of a funny day, that's all.

Funny?

Sort of an anniversary, but just ignore me.

-It's nothing I can't handle.

-That's not a good anniversary?

-Like I said, it's nothing I can't handle, so...

-Family?

You're a right little Sherlock, aren't you?

Is it your mum? Or your dad? Or...?

It's not a kid, is it?

It's my mum.

Weird, ain't it?

Cos you know today should be like any other day, you know,

but it's not, is it?

Doesn't matter if it's one year, two years, 20 years.

It still hits you hard.

Yeah.

So, how long's it been?

A few years now.

-She can't have been that old.

-No.

Stan was. He had a good innings, that's what they say, don't they?

But he never really liked cricket. Had a good few years left in him and all, you know,

until the cancer really got hold of him.

Was it the same for your mum? She get ill?

No.

Was it an accident?

She killed herself.

It's funny, isn't it?

When somebody has a disease or they have a car crash, then people always

know what to say, but something like that, they don't have a clue.

SWITCHES TV OFF How did you get on?

-What?

-The consultant.

Oh, yeah. Fine.

Fine?

Well, not fine, but well, you know,

just keeping on doing more of the same.

All right, and did you ask him about that treatment? The one in America?

Yeah, he knows about it, Dad.

Um, he doesn't think it'll be suitable for me,

but if there's anything in it, then he's going to follow it up.

Is everything OK? Only I had all these missed calls from you.

Yeah, I was just wondering how you were getting on.

-And your dad has fixed you up to see someone.

-Yeah, a doctor.

-Dad!

I'm not interfering, OK? And he's not going to rock the boat with the doctors you're

already seeing. It's another pair of eyes, OK? It's another opinion.

-Look, it may not help, but it can't hurt.

-No.

No, I suppose.

-Have you eaten?

-Not yet, no.

-Shall I fix you a sandwich?

-Sure, that'd be great.

And you'd better get off to the restaurant, love.

-I don't really feel like it.

-Well, we've all got to keep going.

-I said exactly the same to Lauren not half an hour ago.

-Oh?

Yeah, Whitney wanted to take her out for a drink and she didn't want to do that either.

So, you, go to work.

You, go and have a shower, run a bath, relax,

and I'll get that sandwich.

Yes, dear.

-See you in a bit.

-Bye.

Ah. Well, well, Sleeping Beauty.

You don't look all that rested, mind you!

Why is that, I wonder? It's all falling into place, this is.

-What are you talking about?

-You haven't been out with us for ages.

-So, come on. Tell me.

-Tell you what?

-His name.

-Who?

The super stud who's kept you locked away in your bedroom all afternoon.

Come on, Abs! I want details! All of them!

This body hasn't seen action in so long,

the next bloke that comes along will have to bring a canary,

-make sure it's safe!

-Donna!

So?

No, I'm going out.

-Are you seeing him again?

-Well, I am not going to tell you, so don't ask.

He's just spent the whole afternoon with you.

See you later.

He ain't got a brother by any chance?

No?

Lucky cow!

My son, Lee,

he had problems.

Emotional.

Marital.

Mental problems, I suppose.

And him being in the army,

I can't imagine how hard that was for him.

And I...I didn't see any of it.

Not when it was happening, anyway.

Looking back, it could have happened at any time.

That phone call, that knock on the door.

Somebody telling me that he'd been found somewhere.

I'm sorry.

I'm not saying I know how you feel because I don't.

And if it helps you being here tonight, then...

But me and L, we can manage.

I didn't um...

I didn't need a phone call or a knock on the door, or anything.

What do you mean?

It was just so weird.

I was walking home that evening that it happened

and I just had this massive panic attack, total terror.

I couldn't breathe. I thought it was my heart or something. I didn't...

I didn't know what to do.

And then I let myself in.

And you found her.

Mick? One of the barrels needs changing.

Yeah, all right, babe.

Oh, hiya. Is Steven in?

I want to talk to him about next week.

I said I'd have Louie when he went to the hospital.

But I forgot which day it was.

Jane?

Is everything OK?

I'll answer your question, but first,

you've got to answer one of mine.

Why have you taken these from the vet's?

And why have you given them to Steven?

What was all that about? The Ice Maiden, hitting the vino.

Must be all that pollen floating about out there.

The whole Square will be tripping by the morning.

You're not making any sense.

-Why would I be getting pills from the practice to give to Steven?

-Well, that's what I'm asking.

-Why should I?

-That's exactly what I've been wondering.

Can you believe that you are hearing this? Because I can't!

Just tell her, Abs.

-What?

-She's worked it out already.

It's obvious. You've been doing some research, yeah?

That's how you found out what those are.

Yeah, well, me too.

I ran out of the ones the consultant gave me. He didn't want to give me any more.

Said he couldn't up the dose, there could be side-effects.

They were the only thing that helped.

When the headaches kicked in,

they were the only thing that made any difference.

So, I did some reading up and I found these.

Vets use them to treat some of the tumours in animals.

OK, you know, they're not exactly the same thing,

but they're close enough.

So, I asked... No, I begged Abi to get me some.

She didn't want to.

I just kept on at her and on and on.

-Look, please don't say anything.

-LOUIE CRIES ON MONITOR

This was my idea. No-one else's.

I don't want Abi getting into trouble.

Look, I'll stop taking them, OK?

I'll give back the pills that I've got left.

-LOUIE CONTINUES CRYING

-Abs, could you give me a hand with him?

You don't mind me doing this now, do you?

I just want to get my thoughts down while they're fresh.

Did they mention what they wanted us to say in this speech?

What, you're doing that now, are you?

Did they say how long it was meant to be, or who we should thank?

Cos I suppose there's a lot of people we should be thanking.

I should have thought about it myself when...

LOUIE CRIES

So, what do you think?

Did she buy it?

'Abi?'

'I thought you were actually going to tell her the truth.'

'Are you mad?'

'Would it be such a bad idea?'

OK, it's not how we planned to do it, but it's what we planned to do.

It would ruin everything.

It's just that I'm trying to think of the bigger picture here.

-Me and you.

-If that's all you can do, then shut up and let me think.

OK?

I mean, this is still what we're planning, isn't it?

'You marry Lauren, you get custody of Louie,

'and then you and me move in together?

'We say that they found some miracle cure or something, or...

'Or have I got this all wrong?

'Because if I have, Steven, I don't know why I'm doing all of this.'

'Course you haven't got it all wrong.'

Look, if you're having second thoughts, then...

Did it feel like I was having second thoughts this afternoon?

'I just...'

I don't know what I'm saying, OK? I can't think straight.

I know how I feel though.

About you.

So let's just stick to what we said, yeah?

'Let's go downstairs and smooth everything over with Jane.'

When I think back, she'd been low for months.

There'd been problems in the family.

But I didn't really take much notice.

When you're 17, you're the centre of your world.

My brother was even younger.

And I'd been at a friend's house and he had rugby practice.

So he'd gone home to get his kit

and the last thing that he'd said to her was that I'd be back by eight.

And I'd had that weird moment on the way home,

but I just never thought.

And when I let myself in, everything was normal.

The television was on.

And there was a casserole in the oven for dinner.

So I checked it and I filled it up with water.

And the clock on the cooker said that it was nearly quarter to eight.

And she hadn't come down, like she normally did when one of us

came home, so I went upstairs and I could hear water running,

so I thought she was having a bath.

And I went and knocked on the door to tell her that I was home.

And about the panic attack.

And then I looked down and there was all this water on the floor.

And I just didn't know how it had got there.

And then there was more water coming from under the door.

And I couldn't do it. I couldn't open the door.

It was like...

It was like I was frozen because I knew, if I opened the door,

then my whole life was going to change.

But then, I did open the door.

And there she was.

In the bath.

And her eyes were open and she was looking at me,

but of course, she wasn't looking at me.

And one of her arms was hanging over the bath.

I didn't... I didn't go near her and I didn't turn off the taps...

I just turned around and I went to her bedroom

and I got on the phone and I should have phoned the ambulance,

but I didn't, I phoned the school.

And I said that I needed to speak to my brother.

And when he came on the phone, I just couldn't say the words.

I just said, "Mum's done something really stupid."

And then... Then I made arrangements and I called the ambulance.

And by the time he'd got home, they'd taken her away.

And the police were there.

And they cordoned off upstairs.

In case it was a crime scene or something.

But it was pretty obvious what had happened.

And when he came home,

the first thing he said was that there was something burning

and, of course, it was the casserole that I'd completely forgotten.

And I remember looking at him and thinking,

"Why didn't she do it while he was there?

"Why did she wait for me?

"Why did she want me to find her?"

Because I was the oldest, I suppose.

Or was it something else?

Like what?

I don't know.

I still don't.

-Er, listen, Jane, Abi and I have just been talking...

-Yeah, I know.

I heard, loud and clear.

So, how long has this been going on?

You and your fiancee's sister?!

What's it got to do with you?

Are you serious?!

Well, this is between me and Steven.

-It's no-one else's business.

-Get out, Abi!

-What?

-I want to talk to Steven alone.

I'm not going anywhere.

Just do as she says.

-What?

-Just do it, OK?

-My place is with you.

-Then you are more stupid than you look!

Look, whatever she's got to say, I want to hear it.

Please.

You're only going to make things worse.

Please.

We'll talk later.

I'm sorry.

What for?

-Well, I don't know why I told you all that. I'm not usually...

-What?

Well, that weak, I suppose.

That's not weak.

What's weak is bottling things up and not letting them

out cos you're worried about what other people might think.

Telling people things, especially things like that,

it takes guts.

Never works anyway.

Keeping things to yourself, always comes out in the end.

White wine?

What?

I'm thinking, a large one?

Thanks.

-If you want the truth...

-Oh, that'll make a change.

This is a relief.

I have hated this.

Hated lying to you, to Dad, to Lauren.

So there is no tumour?

No.

So, why do this?

And why now? You've got everything. The woman you love, you've got your family around you,

-you've got your dad.

-Have I?

-Well, you're here, aren't you? With us, with Lauren!

How long do you think I'd be here if anything happened?

Steven, what are you talking about?

If Lauren and me split up, who do you think Dad would choose?

His son, who isn't really his son, or his grandson?

How is it you put it, Jane? A blood Beale.

This is your way of making sure you and Lauren don't split?

-By telling her that you're going to die?

-I had to do something.

She was leaving. She'd found someone else.

You're saying Lauren's having an affair?!

No. Not affair.

-But she was seeing Josh.

-Josh was her boss.

Of course, she was seeing him!

It was only a matter of time before something happened between them, Jane.

And Abi? How does she fit into all of this?

Or have you just been doing with her what you've been doing with the rest of us?

-Playing stupid games!

-This isn't a game.

No. This... This is going to destroy your dad, you realise that?

It doesn't need to.

If you let me, OK, I can put all of this right.

I can go away, yeah?

We can tell them there's some treatment that I can try.

And then I can come back, and we can put this all behind us.

No more lies.

And I'll talk to Abi. Yeah? I'll make her see that we were a mistake.

I know I can smooth it over with her. I know I can.

OK? Please, Jane.

I can't lose everything that I've got.

Just give me a chance, OK? One chance. That is all I am asking.

DOOR OPENS

The restaurant was dead. Anyway, I'd much rather be here.

There you go, my little darling.

Thank you.

Don't tell the bird from Grafton Hill.

She'll probably take it out of my wages.

I didn't mean thank you for the drink.

-Mick...

-Don't worry.

I'm not going to say anything.

Boozers are like confessionals, as far as I'm concerned.

-What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, yeah?

-Yeah.

Although, I don't see too many neon lights in here, do you?

Maybe I should return the favour.

Hey.

That wasn't about me doing you a favour.

You know, I'm a...one woman man.

So are most men.

One at a time, anyway.

I'm sure that Mr Right, you know, will come along and...

Well, he certainly hasn't shown up yet.

Um, Mick... I meant what I said. Thank you.

Hi, it's me.

Can we meet?

I really need to see you.

Are you OK?

I'll bring a bottle, yeah? We can demolish it.

I'll see you at yours in half an hour?

Let's have some fun.

Yeah. See you then.

That was quick.

Don't tell me loverboy's lost interest.

He ain't ever going to lose interest.

Ho-ho! Fighting talk!

It's just a fact of life.

Thank you.

For?

Not saying anything.

That's your job.

I have learnt from bitter experience what lies can do to families.

Tell your dad and Lauren the truth,

or I will.