16/11/2017 Part One EastEnders

Bex?

Bex... Oi! Don't walk away from me!

RADIO PLAYS

Um, thought I'd pop in.

See how you are...

Busy.

That's good.

Right, well, er... I'll leave you to it, then.

What's he like?

Luke's dad. What kind of man is he?

I'm sorry.

I just can't get it out my head.

No, you and me both.

I am sorry. Dragging all this up for you.

It ain't your fault.

If I'd known, I'd have never have gone anywhere near Luke...

But you didn't. Did ya?

I, er...thought you might fancy dinner later, y'know?

Maybe I could bring a takeaway or...?

Unless you wanted to cook for me?

Takeaway sounds good.

I love you, Mum.

Look at her dancing about!

-She is definitely getting bigger.

-Oh, don't be silly.

Yeah, no, her face is more like...

HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

Is Daddy making fun of you? Is he? Yes, he is.

We'll get him back next nappy time.

It's all right if Bex pops by in about an hour, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, 'course. Shouldn't you be out there selling spuds?

No, spuds can wait.

You ain't gonna get rich, skiving, Martin.

All right. If that's the case I'll check with the boss.

No, he says it's fine.

-Babies cost money...

-I know. Ten more minutes, eh?

PHONE VIBRATES

-Sonia.

-It might be important.

Come on. Nothing can be more important than this, eh?

Hey? Aw, yeah, come and see Daddy.

Stop following me.

Not until you tell me what's going on.

Double cheeseburger, no tomato. Thanks.

What happened to Mr Pryce?

I know you know.

-Look, you ditch me to go off and see him...

-I didn't ditch you.

-..and then the next day he's gone.

-And we've got some sweaty supply teacher who don't know nuffin'...

-My mum found out.

My mum found out that I kissed him.

-What?! How?

-Oh, shut up!

Oh, my God, Bex! You didn't tell her, did you?

No. He did.

Why would he do that?

He just did, OK.

And now she thinks he's some kind of paedo.

So, it's a disaster basically.

It WAS just a kiss, wasn't it?

Yes. Of course it was.

You should've steered well clear.

Yeah, I should've done a lot of things.

I should've told her as soon as it happened.

"Hi, Mum, look, I know you're really into this man, but guess what?

"So am I."

I love him.

I really...love him.

-I know it's stupid...

-No, Bex...

Burger, no tomatoes?

You lot heard about Mr Pryce?

What? You're going?

It's what you want, isn't it?

Bex?

OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS

Thank you, my love.

Sorry, Honey! Honey, Honey...

Do I have to let them use my bathroom?

Well, people are paying £20 a ticket so...

Not for my bathroom, they ain't.

I'll let them wait till they get round to yours.

Er...I don't want them using MY bathroom!

Well, I suppose by the time they get to pudding...

I'm not doing pudding.

-No, Carmel's doing mains.

-No, I'm doing mains.

-Yeah, I told you, Michelle...

-I asked Carmel.

Well, they will be full after their exceptional delicious starters.

Probably all be dying to have something they can actually eat.

Carmel, why don't you do pudding?

Does the woman look like she's ever met a pudding?

I've already got all the shopping in.

So have I.

-Bag-fulls.

-Trolley-fulls.

Why don't you both do mains together?

That is a brilliant idea, Honey!

Well, if you're planning on tofu...

That word is banned in here, as you well know.

Well, if you're planning on jellied eels...

-You fancy chipping in, Kathy?

-Nah, I got plans.

-Ah!

-I can't believe you're all actually doing this! Thank you.

Oh, and there's a photographer coming from the Gazette as well.

Ah! A photographer?

Perked up!

-All right, then, see you later, yeah?

-Bye.

-All right, darlin'.

-Bye, Kim.

I just need to find someone to do the pudding, dun' I?

-Here you are.

-Cheers, mate.

What?

HE SIGHS

She is so adorable.

-Just like her mummy, then.

-Oi!

She's a doll.

Yeah, I dunno how Stace does it, she's hardly had any sleep.

Well, you don't really notice when you get 'em home, innit?

Cos, you know, you're in your own bubble of baby bliss.

Getting broody, Kim?

No, no, no, I am too busy for that palaver. Thank you very much.

Thanks, mate. Mum was really made up to see Hope.

It's all right, mate. It's a fresh start, ain't it?

You promised results, Donna. I ain't seeing 'em.

You got to give it more than a few hours, Rob.

-So, will you do it?

-Have you seen my baking?

It don't have to be baking. It just needs to be some sort of pudding.

I've already got Michelle taking over my kitchen with this lot.

Well, we've got to have a pudding.

I mean, people are paying £20 per head.

And I'm expecting an excellent turnout.

I'll do it.

-Um, look, I don't wish to be rude but...

-Then don't be.

-All sorted.

'Course, I'll need a bit of help. Get the right ingredients.

Yeah...

Here you go.

Nice ingredients. We want it to be a bit spesh, don't we?

Thanks.

So, who's coming?

We don't know who's coming, Phil.

Cos that's the point.

I don't want strangers in my gaff.

For the Vic. For charity.

Well, don't come crying to me when it all goes belly up.

We're baby-sitting Janet and Will tonight, so we'll be out your hair.

I said chopped.

That IS chopped.

That's diced. Can I have that board?

I ain't finished with it yet!

You can't have every board in the kitchen!

-I don't know if we'll cope if you go.

-You'll be fine.

I said I could do it on my own if you like.

You're the one I thought couldn't cope.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

Come on, Ian, it's only one ticket.

Y'know, it's for a good cause. Save the Queen Vic.

I've heard the pudding is out of this world.

Mick, I would rather kebab my own eyeballs.

-Kebab your own eyeballs...

-Yes, I would, but...

-Just for the privilege of NOT having to eat, I will pay.

-A-ching.

Never let it be said that you're not a generous man

and also in a way a bit of a sort.

IAN CHUCKLES

I'll miss the ol' girl. Like a comfortable pair of old slipper.

What, it stinks and full of fluff?

-Shirley, any developments on the wing-walking?

-On the what?

Didn't Mick tell you? He bet me a thousand pounds you'd do it for the Vic...

Oh, he did, did he?

Yeah, sort of.

And good news. A friend of mine's got his own aeroplane.

Oh, bully for him.

And he's a qualified pilot. And free this weekend. If you're up for it?

There you go, Mother. Sorted.

As long as you're medically fit.

-I ain't.

-Ignore her, she's fit.

I ain't. I got vertigo!

What's this?

A grand. I didn't really expect you to go through with it.

Though the look of fear in your eyes is brilliant.

I ain't got no fear.

Worth every penny.

She's a diamond, though, ain't she?

See, Mick, I am on your side.

Johnny Boy! Whack a bag of sand on a ching on there!

Double lively!!

You said you wanted to meet him.

I said I wanted to kill him.

We're going for dinner. You could join us.

If my mum even knew I was even talking to you...

-If it was YOUR mum...

-My mum's dead.

-Does it matter what did or didn't happen?

-Yes.

Ben...

I know you're angry.

But if I'd told you upfront we wouldn't've stood a chance.

We don't. Not any more, right? I'm busy.

One evening? Two hours?

You think it's a good idea to get me and him in a room together?

We'll see, won't we?

Last chance.

-Won't come again.

-THUNDER RUMBLES

Very bling.

Bling suits him. But you do know they're women's, right?

Very funny! Oh, I've got a couple.

Couple of what?

Silverlady. And Shygirl53.

Ooh...

This one here, she's my age and then she liked my picture as well.

Is that her guide dog?

I'm joking! Joking!

I owe you one, Donna.

Yeah, you owe me 20, actually!

I just shouldn't have blocked her. Now, she's never gonna wanna know.

You know what girls are like. I'm one.

Trust me. Doesn't mean anything.

She hates me, Lou!

No. She really likes you. She's just not herself.

She fancies someone else, don't she?

-Look, Shaki...

-Who?

It's over now.

I promise you. You and her are, like, made for each other.

Louise...

She's just going through a really tough time.

Why?

What is she so upset about?

What...? Was it cos Mr Pryce has left?

Cos of her music and all that?

Yeah. Yeah. Her music.

I'll text you later.

HE GROANS

That's all you've sold? Just you two?

-Well, I realise it's not what we...

-You did your best.

Let's just not get too specific about figures

when the bloke from the Gazette's here later.

Yeah, and as far as they're concerned,

you was turning 'em away, remember?

I'm very uncomfortable lying, Mick.

Maybe the tickets were a bit expensive...

20 quid? Three courses?

It's a bargain, Billy.

Yeah, no, no, no, course it is. That's... I meant, y'know...

I mean, 40 quid is 40 quid, right?

I had to pay Karen that to do the pudding.

So you never actually made a penny?

-Pockets, yeah?

-What?

Yes, pockets, Muvva.

Just call it a pensioner's discount.

No! I ain't going round there!

Go and get yer smuvva, Muvva.

She won't be long.

-Ill?

-Yeah. I'm gonna go to the chemist.

-Let me go for ya.

-Stop worrying.

Well, if you're not feeling well...

Mum, I just need some air.

Right, well, I suppose you can always heat this up later.

Don't eat all the rice.

MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND

It's a frog.

Frogs don't have tails.

It's not a tail.

It's a swan, Billy.

CORK POPS, GIGGLING

-Well, it's just a little something for the guests.

-Lovely.

-KIM GIGGLES

-Would sir like a drink?

-Yeah, I'll have a beer, please.

Well, I thought it would just be a simple starter, but...

Do I look like somebody who does simple, Honey?

-Nibbles?

-What on?

Shirley!

Some people say "canapes". We say "can-apes".

-"Can-apes"?

-Mm-hm.

-BILLY:

-Twist me arm, then.

How much have you done?

Aren't the rest coming with you?

This is it.

Yeah, the tickets didn't really, um...

Th-This is it? I mean, she's got half the supermarket out there!

No, no, no, that's not supermarket food.

-That's pure organic "made by bearded men in sandals" food.

-Urgh.

So, how much have we raised?

£2...

-71p.

-Thank you.

-Vincent. Wallet.

-Mm-mm.

Wallet!

Right, Kim, that's enough. No, that's enough right there.

OK, so 80 from us. 20 from Denise.

-Kim...

-Oh, wow, that is amazing. Thank you.

Yes, and when you've finished can-apeing, we'll join you.

I'll text Denise to meet us for the main course.

TV PLAYS

You don't hate me, do you?

Hate you? Don't be silly.

I couldn't hate you if I tried.

Because if I could change things, I would.

It's done. OK?

It's done.

Least we can always rely on custard creams, can't we, eh?

Ah... We can never do simple, can we?

So are you, like, into men now, full-time?

-I just want...a grown-up...

-Mm-hm.

..who's honest and up for a laugh.

Like Tina. She's single.

Yeah. And what about you... and Shaki?

He likes you, don't he?

I've blown that one.

Never say never, darlin'.

MESSAGE ALERT ON MOBILE PHONE

Is that him?

It's Louise. "Do I want to meet at the cafe?"

-No.

-You haven't got to sit in with me.

Honestly. Go out and have a bit of fun.

DOOR CLOSES

-Only me!

-You all right, bruv?

-Hey...

-All right?

-You all right?

Good day?

Brilliant. As a matter of fact, sis, one of the best.

Good.

Things are looking up.

So who is this guy that she fancies?

I didn't say she was with anyone, Shaki.

Can we get three chocolate milkshakes, please?

So that means it's just me, then?

Why wouldn't she like you? You're nice.

I'm "nice"?

That's good!

No! Buff is good. But rich is better.

Nice is...dead.

You're good-looking.

You know what Bex is like, you just gotta act a bit more...

More what?

-Mature? Yeah? Cos that's what she likes.

-What, like Mr Pryce?

Look, OK, yeah, she did have the hots for him.

That's why her head's been so messed up.

Wait - what?

She's really upset he's gone.

Why?

They were close.

How close?

Oh, you know...

No! No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?

-OK, I'll go ask her myself.

-No, no, Shaki, Shaki, you can't, I mean it.

Was something going on?

Cos he's just done a midnight flit and that ain't normal.

Lou?

It wasn't anything.

What wasn't?

Where is he?

He won't be long.

Mick rang...and said there were just three of you.

Well, there was just two of us but...

What, you kicking us out?

I've only just been roped into this. Dressed to go somewhere else.

Listen, if you've haven't got enough, that's fine.

-You seen how much she's cooked?

-How much I'VE cooked?

Well, I brought some starters.

No, she brought you her leftovers.

Just in case... anybody wanted some flavour.

Phil Mitchell has a picture of trees.

I mean, he doesn't seem like a tree person.

I mean, who has a picture of trees?

Lovely, aren't they?

Look, this ain't one of your yogi meals, is it?

Courgettes pretending to be pasta.

I-I've done some rice.

Cauliflower rice.

-I'm gonna get some chips, all right?

-Where is Phil?

Sharon's put him in quarantine.

Gone out...to look at some trees.

Actually, no, he's looking after our two with Sharon.

Right, then, who's hungry?

Anybody for another?

Right! Pop these in the kitchen, shall I?

Oh!

You're gonna need more plates.

Come on, everyone sit down.

Mum, you're worrying yourself over nothing.

No, he's gone to see him, Ian, I know he has.

You don't know that for sure.

Well, he could hardly look me in the eye.

All right. Maybe he's gone round there to split up with him for good.

Well, whatever I think of Willmott-Brown and Luke...

Ben can't just switch off his feelings like that, can he?

Chatham, Riley - coats!

Come on, out here!

Don't you nick anything from them pockets. Joke!

I knew we shouldn't've eaten the other tub.

Mate, there ain't gonna be enough to feed all this lot.

Dessert?

Oh! Where's the rest?

It's for charity.

-Well, he's on a diet.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I see they've knocked into the loft since I was 'ere.

Oh, you lived here?

-Yeah, that's right, you and Buster.

-Was he your dog?

-Mick's dad.

What happened to Buster?

He's underneath your floorboards.

She's joking.

Is that what the smell is?

Turn the music up, then.

Actually, I don't really think it's that sort of party...

THE MUSIC GETS LOUDER

-# Here comes the hot stepper

-Murderer

-# I'm the lyrical gangster

-Murderer

-# Big up the crew in-a de area

-Murderer

-# Still love you like that

-Murderer... #

Whoo!

# No, we don't die

# Yes, we multiply... #

Right. Swear on your life.

On your mum's life.

She kissed him. Mr Pryce.

You can't say nothing.

-OK, OK...

-No, no, I really mean that, Shaki.

It wasn't anything and Bex will go mad if she found out I told you.

It's sick, you know? He's, he's so old.

Can we change the subject, please?

And she preferred him to me? Would you?

What?

Pick that sad old man over me?

No.

There's loads of girls that fancy you.

-Yeah, right.

-They do. You just gotta have more confidence.

Well, but do YOU fancy me?

We're mates.

Yeah, I know. But if we weren't?

Then...yeah.

I suppose so.

I'd better go.

Aw, Shaki!

What did you just do?

-I don't know!

-Ugh!

-What? I didn't... I don't...

Please don't ever do that again!

Louise, I don't even like you. I mean, you know...

You're an idiot!

You're an actual idiot, Shaki!

No wonder she snogged Mr Pryce!

Million miles away, weren't ya?

No.

No, I was right here.

We can't lose it, Mick.

We ain't gonna lose anything.

-What?

-Can't really say, can I? We're in company.

You look gorgeous, Linda.

-Keeping up the tradition!

-What tradition?

In the Vic there's always a raving sort behind the bar.

Yeah, I make him right.

First time I saw Ron behind the bar it nearly took my breath away.

-Oh, yeah?

-Oh, Jack...

Where is everyone? The photographer's gonna be here in a minute.

-They're not back yet.

-You did tell 'em the right time, yeah?

I've left them a message.

Right, how many d'you sell in the end?

Well...er...

Right. Better luck next time...

Here they are!

Found you a few waifs and strays.

Who you calling a waif?

Linda, Mick! Put it in the bowl.

Beautiful! Right, where's me mother? We need her for the shot.

Going door-to-door with Karen, getting the Square together.

We're going back there after this.

Don't we need her for the publicity?

-Come on...

-I think you'll find that I am the publicity shot.

Come on, in the camera. That's good...

-Oh, yeah!

-Hello! Hello!

I'm Linda Carter, I'm the landlady.

-I used to be a glamour model. You can put that in your article.

-Right! Quick! One more.

-We got to get going...

-OK. Cool.

-Kim!

-That's it! Right!

-Let's go!

-Nice! Sweet!

-Right! See yas later!

-Thank you.

-Ta-ta!

-If you come with me...

Ben?

I'm James Willmott-Brown.

Glad you could come.

We'd better get a move on.

I wanna talk first.

That can wait, can't it?

Alone. You and me.

We'll be down in ten minutes.

Door.

Stace, come here a minute.

POP MUSIC PLAYS

What?

I'm tired, I was gonna go to bed.

Yeah, I know, but I just want you to see this, quick.

Come on, I promise it'll be worth it.

-All right!

-Come on.

Pipe at this...

Whoa!

Well, we all cooked a bit too much food, so...

Ahhh!

-I'll leave you to it. Enjoy.

-Thanks.

You can stand in silence all night if you like, but I'm hungry.

I don't wanna eat with you.

Something around the eyes.

You remind me of her - Kathy.

DON'T SAY HER NAME!

Quite the angry young man, aren't you?

Must take after your father.

Well...as pleasant as this has been...

Cut to the chase! I like it.

You disgust me.

You're scum. All right?

And now...now I'm gonna do something about it.

Because you think I raped your mother?

-You DID!

-I admire your loyalty.

You need to pay for what you did.

You do know we were having an affair?

I don't wanna hear it.

She didn't want to upset her family so she lied.

I said stop talking!

It was consensual.

Get off him!

-I'm gonna kill him!

-Ben!

-Truth hurts.

-Ben!

My mum ain't a liar!

Really? She's lied to you almost your entire life.

She let her own son believe she was dead.

You haven't been able to trust her

since she walked back into your life, have you?

Have you?

You're so full of doubt, I can smell it off you.

I'm right, aren't I?

So why believe her now?

You don't, do you?