14/12/2017 EastEnders

All right, you two. Take a seat.

Just put some toast on.

-What is it?

-It's Uncle Max.

-What about him?

-He's dead.

Excuse me.

Hey! Hey!

THEY LAUGH

What are you doing?

Pleased with yourself?

My Pearl was top of her class in Tumble Tots.

I'm not sure...

And I'm not just talking about gymnastics.

Monkey music, baby ballet.

She could have been the next Beyonce.

Now she'll be lucky if gets a job shovelling chips at McKlunky's.

Lauren? Lauren, I need to...

Lauren!

MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade

Oh, look at this great big package from Dot.

-MUSIC STOPS

-She's bought presents for everyone, bless her.

The spreadsheet that was on this tablet - what happened to it?

No guessing what this is.

Oh, no! Please tell me I backed it up!

You can take this to your meeting with Mr Lister.

At least you'll look the part.

There isn't going to be a meeting if I've lost this spreadsheet.

-I don't believe it!

-What's happened?

-I don't believe it!

Lend us 20 quid.

I can't. I'm skint.

You sure about that?

I already told you.

It's just a bit of casual work, that's all.

Sounded dodgy to me.

It's kosher, I swear.

So why haven't you told Mum who you're working for?

Told Mum what?

I was just asking Keanu about his new job.

I can't believe it.

That's the first time in months

this family's finally got some extra money coming in.

Yeah. I've got to go.

Here, not too fast.

You want to make a good impression, don't you?

DOG BARKS

You feeling better?

Yeah. Yeah, no thanks to you.

Never could handle your drink, could you?

Says the bloke who was sick outside the Tube station.

I already told you, all right? I had a dodgy kebab.

What's all that?

Sonia brought them round. Yeah, present from Dot.

Check this out.

Dear, oh, dear!

And you know what's even better?

You got one too, look.

What, she think we're five years old or something?

Proper little Grinch, ain't ya?

So what you going to do?

Stay in here, cooped up like some hermit?

Listen. Why don't we go for a drink, lunchtime at the Vic?

The sooner you front it out, the easier it'll be.

Er, no. I've got a couple of things I want to sort out first.

Oh, yeah, such as?

Let's just say I'm pursuing one or two leads.

All the more reason for you to get back out there.

So, what you saying? How about it, eh?

Come on, the Branning Brothers, putting on a united front.

Yeah, I'll think about it.

You had a word with your sister?

Yeah, she doesn't know anything.

Well, you'd better make sure it stays that way, eh?

So who am I supposed to ask for?

A geezer called Eddie. He's got everything waiting for you.

And what is it that I'm picking up?

Your job is not to ask questions.

Your job is to do as you're told.

One scratch - comes out of your wages, understood?

Oh! Here he is - the man of the hour!

You know what? You play your cards right,

I might be able to put a bit of work your way.

Mind you, I've got to tell you up front -

Sharon is very particular how she has her bogs cleaned.

HE LAUGHS

You didn't give me a chance to explain.

What's the matter, Josh? You got a guilty conscience?

It's not what it looks like.

Listen, you do what you want... cos I'm past caring.

Why are you being like this?

-Because I'm sick of being lied to...

-I'm not...

-..by you and my dad!

-I'm not lying to you.

Then what are you still doing their dirty work for, hmm?

-I can't just walk away, can I?

-Why can't you?

Because the only way I'm going to stop this is if I keep them onside.

There you go again. That's an excuse, Josh.

Look, there are documents on my dad's computer

that could get this development stopped.

Like what?

He keeps files for additional expenses.

-Corporate events, he calls them.

-So?

It's the money he uses to bribe council officials.

All I need to do is get access to his computer.

When?

Today, if I can. But I might need your help.

With what?

Keep your phone on.

# Gloria

# Hosanna in excelsis! #

Oh, Robbie, I heard you've got a big meeting later, yeah?

-Who told you that?

-Donna did.

I've got just the thing right here

that's going to make them sit up and take notice of you.

-Eh?

-It's all just a joke to you, innit?

I'm having a laugh with you, Rob.

Bah humbug to you too, then.

Robbie!

Couldn't keep quiet, could you?

You can't lob a grenade like that and expect me to keep schtum.

-What are we going to do about it?

-We?

Two heads are better than one.

I put a report together.

-That's a start.

-But I didn't save it.

-And there you have it -

the reason we're all going to be out of a job.

I'm trying my best here!

Yeah, I'll remember that

when I'm in some shop doorway, begging for change.

So much for your support.

-Just the bloke!

-Not now, Whit.

Linda and Mick want to set up a stall outside the Vic.

-I've got work to do.

-Oh, please.

Come on, they've got loads of that mulled wine stuff

to shift before they leave.

Don't you think I've got enough on my plate

without worrying about the Vic's finances?

What was all that about?

Don't ask me. I'm just the punchbag.

I wouldn't take it personally. The sooner those two get it on,

the better it's going to be for everyone, right?

So why ain't they, then?

Well, short of locking them in a room together,

I am all out of ideas.

What?

Donna, do you fancy a drink in the Vic at lunchtime?

-Yeah, all right.

-Good.

OK, what are you up to?

Nothing, just spreading a bit of Christmas joy.

-Hey.

-Oh, we were just coming to meet you.

Um, I've just got a few things I need to sort here first, so...

But the launch is at two.

Yeah, we need to be seen to be putting on a united front.

It's just, I've got a contract

that I need to get signed off by this afternoon.

-Well, then, rearrange it.

-I can't.

I really don't want to lose this client.

Well, we'll just have to manage without you, I suppose.

What time do you think you'll be back?

We shouldn't be more than a couple of hours.

-LAUREN:

-Hello?

Dad and Fi are on their way to the Community Centre for a press launch.

What am I supposed to do?

I just need you to stall them for me.

Stall them? How?

You'll think of something.

Josh?

Hm! Bored of property development, Jack?

No, I'm just looking at the jobs page for Max.

You might want to check the sewers.

He'll be right at home with the other rats.

Oh, have you seen they've organised some event

down at the Community Centre?

-The front of those people!

-I should give them a piece of my mind.

Haven't you already caused enough trouble?

I'm just looking out for my community, Jack.

-I'm talking about Tanya.

-Oscar deserves better, doesn't he?

Oh, and that's for you to decide, is it?

-Why are you defending him?

-Because he's my brother.

-Hm.

Yeah. And if the shoe was on the other foot...

I think it's quite admirable that he's sticking up for his brother.

He's gullible, more like.

Max was just doing his job.

Oh, so the papers he stole from Carmel...

..that was part of his job too, was it?

What are you talking about?

He hacked into the computer and stole council documents.

And Carmel could have lost her job cos of him.

Yeah.

Maybe you don't know your brother as well as you thought you did, eh?

What is it? You worried about getting lost in the dark?

I saw you lot in the Albert last night.

It's all right, don't worry.

Phil's a mate of mine. He told me all about it.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I was going to come in on it,

but I'm a bit busy doing other stuff.

So has he told you what you're doing yet?

Not really.

Yeah, typical Phil. He's always looking for a fall guy.

I mean, that's all you're going to be to him - collateral damage.

-I need to get these inside.

-Listen, you should play him at his own game.

Don't want to be a gopher all your life, do you?

Oi, Rambo!

-You coming?

-I'll be with you in a sec.

Is there a problem?

No. Why would there be a problem?

Fi Browning?

Kenny Thomas, Walford Gazette.

No, sorry. I think you've got the wrong person.

Where is it you're looking for?

Walford Community Centre.

Oh, you want to head to George Street.

It's on the road opposite the Tube.

Thank you.

Games machine here up for grabs - 50 quid.

-How about it, Kush?

-Is it yours to sell?

Do I look like I care? Tables, chairs.

Anything that's not nailed down is up for grabs, ladies and gents.

-Hi.

-Mm.

-Is Whit about?

Yeah, she's just in the kitchen.

I'm sure Linda wouldn't mind if you went in to see her.

Oh, no. Go right ahead, darling.

I'd rather have a drink.

She said something about wanting your advice, actually,

probably, you know, after Woody.

-What, from me?

-Yes.

Are you sure about this?

-They're made for each other.

-Yeah, but do they know that?

Where's Whit?

You tell me. She's got me waiting here to try this mulled wine.

You can thank me later.

Whitney!

-HE BANGS ON DOOR

-Whitney! Whitney!

Should I ring them?

Give it ten minutes.

This is kidnap, you know.

We're in a kitchen full of food, Rob. We're not going to starve.

Was this your idea?

You think I want to be locked in a room with you?

I should be working on my presentation.

How long have you got?

Two hours. I'll never get it done now.

Spoken like a true fighter!

Do you have any idea how much stress I'm under?

I've come out in a rash, you know.

Do you mind? You're putting me off my sandwich.

Whitney! Open this door!

You're going to give yourself more than a rash at this rate.

Just do what I do when I'm stressed.

What's that?

A big drink always helps.

That's your answer to everything, isn't it?

Don't have a go at me!

It's not my fault that you didn't save your stupid spreadsheet.

Who am I kidding, Donna?

I might as well hand over my badge now and be done with it.

So we're having a pity party now?

Look at me. I'm nearly 40. I'm divorced.

I've got a kid I never see.

Don't forget all the stunners you met online.

If you're not going to take me seriously...

Oh, I'm sorry, OK? From what I can see, you're doing pretty good.

You've got a decent job.

For now.

You ain't bad-looking, I suppose.

If anything, it should be me feeling sorry for myself.

You? Seem pretty sorted to me.

Selling dodgy knock-offs?

I thought you liked being on the market.

Yeah, I do. But, you know, I still have dreams, don't I?

Like what?

You'll only take the mick.

No, no. I swear.

I wanted to have my own fashion line, didn't I?

So what's stopping you?

Because I don't live in cloud cuckoo land, for a start.

-That doesn't mean you should stop trying.

-Says you?

There you go again, Don. You're always having a pop.

I'm not having a pop!

It just sounds like you've already given up.

Do you want to save this market or not?

Course I do.

Well, then, stop whining and do something about it!

This is ridiculous.

Mr Willmott-Brown, I'm so sorry.

I was sent on a wild goose chase.

Let's just get this over with.

Right, everybody, we're starting.

CHEERING

-PHONE VIBRATES

-Lauren.

Josh, it's started. The press are here.

How much longer do you need?

I don't know. Just give me a bit more time.

As some of you know, this is the first stage

of a regeneration programme for Walford.

Not only will this redevelopment

provide a much-needed boost to the local economy,

but we'll also be ensuring

that we're able to offer affordable housing...

Affordable? Not for anyone around here!

And what about all the people you've thrown out of their homes?

It would seem not everyone is in favour of progress.

What, like my Grandma Dot?

There'll be a time for questions later, so if we can all continue?

She worked in that launderette for over 50 years.

You're putting honest, hard-working people out of work, and for what?

Some poncy flats that no-one round here can actually afford?

You go now or I'll remove you myself.

We have a right to be heard, don't we?

Not when you don't know what you're talking about

and you're out to cause trouble.

Lauren, this is private property.

Yeah, well, I'm making a stand, ain't I?

This one is for all the mums, you know,

that relied on this place for childcare!

We're right behind you, Lauren!

This is our centre.

And I ain't letting it go without a fight.

CHEERING

You know what they say you should do to combat nerves?

Imagine the person you're talking to is naked.

Not me, you perv! Lister.

What are you going to say to him?

Footfall is up, not to mention revenue, and then...

I'm bored already.

Well, what would you say?

That this market has been here for almost a century.

Is he really wanting to be responsible

for ripping out the heart out of this community?

Oh, that is good!

Well, don't just stand there like a lemon! Write it down.

Well, give me a pen.

Right. There is no point in pussyfooting around, OK?

-We've got to go for the jugular.

-The jugular.

And what are you going to say if he gives you any flannel?

That he'll have a fight on his hands.

Yep, and I'll be manning the barricades.

I can do this, can't I?

Yeah, course you can.

Just got to believe in yourself, that's all.

Donna...

..thank you.

What for?

I couldn't have done this without you.

Well, beats digging a tunnel, I suppose.

You're not as scary as you make out, you know.

Yeah, well.

Maybe you should have got to know me first.

Maybe I should.

And if it's any consolation...

..you're not as big a pillock as I thought.

DOOR OPENS

-Oh! I'll come back later.

-Robbie was just...

About to have you arrested for kidnapping.

Whitney, do you have any idea how much time I've wasted

by being in here?

Wasted?

Donna, I didn't mean that.

You're unbelievable!

Donna!

Don't forget your pitch fees are due on Friday.

Right. You've made your point, now it's time to go.

-No, I'm not going anywhere.

-She has a right to protest, surely?

Not on private property, she hasn't.

The owner's asked you to leave.

Oh, has he?

Look, he has every right to cut this chain

and have you escorted from the premises.

What are you doing?

If you resist, you'll be committing a breach of the peace.

I will have to arrest you.

Right, I'm arresting you for breach of the peace.

You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence if you do not mention

when questioned something which you later rely on in court.

You all right?

Um, can I have a...

OJ for my lovely husband, please, and a large vino for me, please?

Should you be drinking in your condition?

Well, that's baby brain for you, innit?

Yeah, I'll have a Virgin Mary.

Bet you're excited to have a little brother or sister for Pearl.

We'll take it over here.

Hang on to your wallets.

Can I get two pints, please?

Good to see you, Uncle Max.

What's this, a wind-up?

Just want a quiet drink, Mick. We don't want any trouble.

-Get him out of my pub, Jack.

-Oh, come on, Linda.

-You heard what she said.

-I'm asking you as a friend...

I'm asking you as a friend... just get him out of here.

-KIM:

-I second that.

Look, he's family.

It weren't long ago you were having to do the same to support Lee.

-Jack, let's go.

-No. No, no, no! You're not going nowhere.

Now, are you going to serve me or not?

So much for mates, eh?

Let's not go that way.

You know what the problem is with the people round here?

-They're all hypocrites!

-That's enough.

You telling me you wouldn't go out of your way

to provide for your family?

No, I didn't think so.

Just serve him, Mick. We've got bigger things to worry about.

Josh, what are you doing up here?

My printer packed in. I had to get the contract signed off by four.

How did it go?

Lauren decided to stage a little protest.

Don't worry. I'm sure the police will take care of it.

She didn't say anything to you?

No, we don't really speak any more.

PHONE VIBRATES

What's that in your hand?

It's just for the file I needed to print.

Well, where's your print-out?

Give it to me.

I'm not going to ask you again.

Just give it to him.

It seems I was wrong to trust you.

In my foolishness, I'd assumed family came first

because, let's face it,

you haven't wanted for anything your entire life.

Private education, a job in the family firm -

it was all yours for the taking.

You think I want to be a part of all this?

You've destroyed a community, torn Lauren's family apart.

So all this is because of that cheap little tart?

Don't talk about her like that!

Do you think she's still going to want you

without the company car, the private apartment?

Because that's all you are to her - some meal ticket.

Yeah, you would say that, wouldn't you?

Because that's all love is to you!

Money, power, control. All this!

Finally, I get to see some fire in that belly!

Josh!

You can stick your job...

..cos I'm done with this family.

MUSIC: Wonderful Christmastime

You didn't have to do that.

Yeah, well, you've done it now, haven't you?

All you've got to do is get yourself a job.

Yeah. I think that's all in hand.

Already? No stopping you, is there?

No thanks to you.

Listen, I appreciate all you're doing, Jack.

-You'd do it for me, wouldn't you?

-Yeah, course.

Well, there you go. Stop getting all soppy.

You coming?

Er, no, just got to get some cigarettes. I'll catch you up, yeah?

Yeah, see you in a bit.

Merry Christmas, Jack.

Dad!

You all right? I saw you on the Square earlier.

And?

Do you know your brother's working for Phil Mitchell?

And do you know what the job is?

I don't know anything.

That might help jog your memory.

Just here, please, mate. Just wait five minutes, please.

What happened?

They gave me a caution.

-Are you OK?

-What happened at the office?

I messed up. He came back and...I didn't get the files.

Well, we're just going to have to try again, then.

I can't. It's too late. I can't go back there.

Why?

Because I walked away from him, from all of it.

I can't do it any more.

My dad was right.

I'm weak.

No, you're not. Josh, you're not.

You stood up to him.

And look what it got me! I've lost everything.

What are you going to do now?

I don't know. I'll figure something out.

I'm really sorry for everything.

Goodbye, Lauren.

Say goodbye to Louie from me.

Josh!

I hear that Phil Mitchell is back in the game.

What you talking about?

Rumour has it you've got a big job coming up.

Never underestimate me, Phil.

Months, I sat there, waiting for that phone to ring.

Yet you couldn't be bothered to call his family.

Why now, eh?

We were making Christmas cards.

At first, I thought that was me.

Then he told me it was his other daddy.

All I wanted was to see Matthew.

Taking him from you was never part of the plan.

FRONT DOOR SHUTS

What plan?