05/03/2018 EastEnders


05/03/2018

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And that big wolf came bowling over, and he was giving it right large.

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Cos he was a big, hairy melt.

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-What was he?

-Hairy melt!

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He was a big melt.

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-And do you know what he said to that poor piggy?

-Yeah.

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What did he say? He said, "I'm going to huff and I'm going to puff

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"and I'm going to blow your gaff down."

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Yeah, you and whose army, eh?

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How does the little piggy get rid of the big bad wolf?

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Well, it would help if he knew

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when he was going to show up and have a go.

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I'll tell you what we're going to do, boy.

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We're going to let Auntie Tina finish the story.

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When's he coming, Mick?

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You will help her with the long words, though, won't you? Good boy.

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I've always wanted to know how this ends.

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The pink 'uns, L.

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Always the pink.

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It's been like old times, ain't it? No dealers.

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No drugs.

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No Aidan.

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Just our pub, the way it used to be.

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Yeah, like it still is. Like it always will be.

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He's all talk.

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Until he decides to show up again.

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DOOR THUMPS

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Cheers, Dad!

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Is this it?

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-Well, it ain't your birthday, is it?

-I'm happy to share!

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-Get off!

-Now don't be so ungrateful, you!

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You done good, Dad. For once.

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-He did indeed.

-So, what's Ben been up to?

-Not much.

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-So, is he planning on staying out there?

-Dunno, dunno.

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It's up to him.

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Lou, your dad seems a bit tired. Take this lot upstairs, yeah?

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-Give him some space and you can use me perfume.

-Deal.

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Well, you caught us on the hop.

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So, how's Ben doing, really?

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What's happening at my club?

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And how comes I didn't know anything about it?

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It's just had a bit of a kicking, that's all.

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No, I need you as soon as.

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-All right, ta, mate. Thank you.

-You still think he's all talk?

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-We don't know it was his little mob, do we?

-This is harassment,

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-criminal damage. We've got evidence.

-It's hardly evidence.

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They're not going to send out CSI for a broken door, are they?

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We're going to have to turn this place into Fort Knox.

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-Look, I didn't want to tell you over the phone.

-Why not?

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Well, I knew how worried you were about Ben, and...

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All right, well, I knew this would happen.

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You'd talk me out of it. Tell me it weren't worth the hassle.

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That's right!

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Look, Phil, it drove you mad rattling round this place

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when you came out of hospital, didn't it?

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You know, you think I don't want to get out there and do something?

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-There's no appetite for a club.

-We'll see.

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-E20? Is that some sort of joke?!

-No, no.

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-That was her son's idea, it...

-Whose son?

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Mel.

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I can't have heard you right.

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You did.

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-You and her? Working together?

-No.

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She's working for me. I'm the boss. She's working for both of us.

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-Good. I can go and sack her, then, can't I?

-No.

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Oh, come on, Phil.

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It's a win-win situation.

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She does all the hard graft, we get all the profits.

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You going to share the perfume as well?

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We're never going to be best mates. But she does know how to run a club.

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-Where are you going?

-Guess.

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He'll huff and he'll puff...

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Don't start, Teen.

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-Morning, Ted.

-Morning.

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Oh, dear. This is for you.

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-Who from?

-Courtesy of Karen.

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You might want to check for unmentionables.

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She's not exactly thorough.

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Well, it's only tea towels and stuff, it's not going to bite.

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Much obliged.

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-Nasty, that.

-Yeah, it's just kids.

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Oh, nothing new, then?

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I could fix that for you, if you like?

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I'll be on the blower if I need you, Ted.

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Well, Joyce reckons I'm a dab hand at DIY.

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Yeah, cos she's always telling you to "do it yourself", ain't she, Ted?

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Oh!

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That'll come in handy.

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I want to phone the police.

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You've got 'em on speed dial. No.

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Look, when I went out there earlier, there were a bunch of kids

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hanging about, but they were too young to be Aidan's minions.

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You want to keep an eye on her, Mick.

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Any more police and we'll all be killed.

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Assuming we're not dead already.

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I'm going for a nice, long soak...

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..while you wait to apologise to a psycho.

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They set a trap for him, the wolf.

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Just saying.

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It's cheaper and it sounds exotic.

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It sounds cheaper.

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Didn't take you long, did it, Billy?

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I'm working.

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It's a temporary situation.

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Yeah, and so's the club.

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Excuse me? I've got a business contract to run.

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Not any more you don't.

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I'm guessing that you haven't had any joy from Ben?

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And that's why you're so angry. You want to watch that, Phil.

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It's not good for you.

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That club ain't opening, so why don't you just pack your bags

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-and go back to wherever it is you come from?

-Hm. Masterful.

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I bet Sharon laps that up.

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Me? Think it's a bit dated.

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What's your game?

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No game.

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I want to make money, which will make you money and, let's face it,

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I do owe you. I know that place inside out.

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Once it's been refurbished,

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funded by a business loan I've taken out, it'll rake it in.

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Who'd give you a loan?

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Do I look like I'm not good for it?

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And don't go thinking that I've got some sugar daddy, either,

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it's 2018. Oh!

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And if your pal Maguire finds out that you've reopened the club,

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won't he get suspicious and think you've come into some money?

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Good luck convincing the old sod.

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Shut the door on your way out.

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Ten minutes, Billy!

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I didn't have any choice. I ain't got the funeral parlour any more.

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Jay's running that now.

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Is he about? He's next on my list.

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And I might get a bit more sense out of him.

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A drug dealer, at his age? I mean, it's uncouth.

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Pity.

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He was dishy.

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Men never fail to disappoint, do they?

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-Come on, Martin.

-Well, I ain't hungry.

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What, you got a problem with that?

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-Why don't you give the police a ring?

-I'm sorry.

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I've said I'm sorry, I made a mistake.

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-I don't know what I was thinking.

-I don't know why you'd even do that.

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-Because I was worried. That girl you was with...

-Hayley.

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Yeah, she just seems a bit dodgy.

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Stace, you know I would never put my kids in harm's way.

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Anyway, you've got nothing to worry about with her.

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I think your little "mistake" freaked her out.

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I haven't heard anything from her since.

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-Jay?

-All right?

-Yeah.

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-How's the flatmate search going?

-Oh, don't. Donna's roped me into

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an interview this afternoon, as if I ain't got enough on. Why?

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It's just Mel's sofa's killing my back.

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Well, listen, Bill,

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it is a yes from me, but you'll have to work your charms on Donna.

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-Yeah.

-Sorry, mate.

-All right, no worries.

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Oh! Forgot to say, Phil's on the warpath, he's looking for ya.

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Billy, you start with information like that, you don't end with it!

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Sorry.

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Say hello to Keanu for me, will you, please?

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I don't think so, mate. You ain't welcome here.

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Never usually stops me.

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Well, I think it's a lovely idea.

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Well, that's because you've got taste, Honey.

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-Most of the time.

-All right, Hon?

-Billy.

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But matching tattoos? I mean, come on, really, at our age?

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You acting like you don't even care that we're real sisters.

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-Like it ain't no big deal.

-But it isn't.

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Can you imagine having this across your skin forever?

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Well, it's a good job I'm not epileptic...

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It's a constant reminder of our unbreakable bond.

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It's private.

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Yeah? The mucky ones are up top, they ain't moved. Don't be shy.

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No, no, I wasn't... I swear...

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-I think this is a lovely, lovely design.

-Thank you.

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-I designed it myself.

-Did you? I like the bird...

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-And, yeah...

-What? Bird? There's no bird.

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It does look like a bit of a weird parrot.

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Did Pearl draw this?

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No tattoos.

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Well, what else, then? Cos we gotta do something!

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Can I stick something up? In your window.

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A flyer for the club, you see.

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It's opening soon.

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Got myself a job there.

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Kids all right?

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Why wouldn't they be?

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-No reason.

-Well, why don't you come over later?

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-What?

-So we can have a talk.

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That's unless you're busy.

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I ain't busy. I ain't busy at all.

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Then what am I paying you for? It's delivery time.

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Sorry. No rest for the wicked, eh?

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-Billy!

-Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.

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-What time?

-I'll just give you a call.

-OK.

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She said we're going to meet up later. That's good, innit?

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Yep. Bit of luck, you'll be moving out soon.

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You can sit here all day, if you like. You ain't getting served.

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I suppose a full Irish is out of the question.

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Fried slice, white pudding...

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-Masood?

-Yeah?

-Can you get him out of here?

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Er... Out.

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I think your security needs beefing up.

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-Out.

-Out, please.

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You're going to have me face the day on an empty stomach?

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-That's not very nice.

-No.

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And neither's dealing drugs in my local boozer.

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And I thought you and I could be, er, friends.

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Unless you're spoken for?

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Ah, a friendly face.

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Have I skimped on the deodorant today or something?

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The door is that way.

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What are you doing hanging around with this?

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I'm Assistant Manager.

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Well, you are...something.

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Coffee. Black.

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She's not going to fertilise my daffodils, is she?

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No, she's very particular about where she goes.

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Want to get yourself a guard dog an' all. Aidan been back yet?

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-No, not yet.

-He's psyching you out.

-Yeah.

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And it's working.

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What do you know about him?

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-What are you looking for?

-I don't know.

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Bit of leverage? Like an angle?

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He's too long in the tooth to get his hands dirty.

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Boy's above the dealers, they come out clean, pretty much all the time.

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I never dealt with him in the old days.

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-He weren't on my patch.

-Yeah.

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That's what I thought you was going to say.

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Come on then, girl. Let's leave Jack to his little milkshake.

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Anything you can get. Anything.

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Come on.

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So, yeah, it's a nice big room. You know, big double bed.

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For you, of course.

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So you can stretch out.

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What happened to the last occupant?

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Bank robber, south of France.

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What's the girl like? Are you and her...?

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BANGING ON DOOR

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Oh, no, no, no, we're, er...

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She's really friendly, you know, but no.

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BANGING CONTINUES

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I want a word with you.

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Now.

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Are you interested, then?

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Thanks for that.

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Where's the money, Jay?

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How well do you know him, then?

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Who are we talking about now?

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Aidan. Maguire, whatever he calls himself.

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-Why are we talking about him?

-No reason.

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-You just be careful, though, yeah?

-Thanks for your concern, Billy.

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But can we draw a line under this conversation, forever?

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Yeah, course. Boss.

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Where's Mick gone?

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He's walking Lady Di.

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Her legs'll be worn down by now. What's he up to?

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In the words of our dearly departed Greek God, "You gotta have faith."

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How's he going to stop him?

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# You gotta have faith, faith, faith... #

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-Well, Linda...

-Yes, Kim?

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..today is your lucky day.

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The greatest night the Vic has seen

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since Dot caught her tights on the karaoke machine.

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I'm talking the works. Sausage rolls.

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Mini-quiche. Barbecued chicken wings.

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-All at a good price, though.

-A party?

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And some decorations, yeah?

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It ain't going to come cheap.

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-And? Your point is?

-No point.

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Go on, hit us with it.

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A...

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.."Congratulations, You Get to Be My Real Sister" party.

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-Bam!

-Yeah!

-Very traditional.

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-When were you thinking?

-And I want some decent music.

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I'm talking proper tunes from back in the day, you get me?

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-Yes, what night, Kim?

-# Dreams can come true

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# Look at me, babe, I'm with you

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# You know you've gotta have hope You know you gotta be strong.... #

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OK, OK, yes, yes, what day?

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I dunno. What, Thursday? Friday?

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-I don't know if any are any good?

-Faith, Linda.

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-I'll go and get the diary.

-Yes.

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Look, I don't know anything. Will you listen to me?

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Well, you knew that Ben had the money because he told me.

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You also knew that he'd lost it.

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So, what else you lying about? Jay, get a cleaner, will ya?

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You think I robbed Ben, I can't even afford a cleaner?

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Well, you think I believe everything Ben tells me? I mean,

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-for all I know, you could be in it together.

-See, this is why

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he couldn't wait to get away, Phil.

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-Because of the love you shower people with.

-No, no, no.

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No, he left because he stitched me up.

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Look, I don't want anything to do with your stolen money,

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or Ben, or you, and especially not that Maguire.

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-What you even doing mixing with him anyway?

-Has he been here?

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No. The funeral parlour. Oh...

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..give him this. And tell him people who I get to do stuff work for me,

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not some gangster. Now, close the door on the way out,

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unless you want to help with the washing-up?

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-All right, Mick?

-All right, Bill.

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Ain't seen Aidan or his little mob knocking about, have ya?

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-Don't talk to me about him.

-Why?

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She don't want me to.

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Does she know this geezer or what?

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Well, it depends on what you mean by know.

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-Don't let her out of your sight.

-Eh?

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Sit.

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What do you reckon? The blue or the grey?

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I'll leave that to my Linda. She's got a good eye.

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-Come to size up the competition?

-Not exactly, no.

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What exactly, then?

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I need your help.

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I heard that you know Aidan Maguire.

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-Vaguely.

-I want him off my back.

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Maybe you shouldn't have let him on in the first place?

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So, what's the apple, then?

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You and him run us into the ground, then you nick our punters?

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I'm not interested in your punters.

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E20 is going to have its own distinct clientele.

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-Clientele...

-And I'm nothing to do with him.

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The blonde pit bull...

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-What?

-Just something someone said to me once.

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-So, what's his big plan?

-I honestly have no idea.

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You do know if there's drugs in the Vic, they'll end up in here.

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-We need to get rid of him.

-You seem to have the problem.

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-I don't.

-If you're going to stick around, you need to pick a side.

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I pick my side.

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I don't like either colour.

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You deaf? I said sit.

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Blimey, that was quick.

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Listen, Bill, if it came on top with Aidan...

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..would you have my back?

0:18:250:18:27

-You know I would.

-Good man.

0:18:270:18:29

Come on, girl.

0:18:320:18:34

Mick!

0:18:360:18:37

PHONE RINGS

0:19:210:19:24

All right, you old villain?

0:19:290:19:31

Yeah, yeah, sure.

0:19:310:19:32

What time?

0:19:320:19:36

-Why?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:19:360:19:38

We'll discuss that later. OK.

0:19:380:19:40

Knock, knock?

0:19:420:19:43

Sorry, Mel. I told him you were busy.

0:19:450:19:46

-It's like Piccadilly Circus in here.

-You can leave now, William.

0:19:460:19:50

-No, he stays, Aidan.

-Oh.

0:19:500:19:52

So many questions for you, I barely know where to start.

0:19:590:20:03

How's the trap going?

0:20:040:20:06

What did the three pigs do?

0:20:070:20:08

Cauldron of boiling water under the chimney.

0:20:080:20:10

I could borrow Mum's cauldron. It's the best I got at the moment.

0:20:100:20:14

Walked, watered and a lovely little pony and all.

0:20:160:20:20

And what about Lady Di?

0:20:200:20:22

-You've perked up.

-I have faith in my husband.

0:20:230:20:26

I don't about you, but do you know what I need?

0:20:260:20:29

No more thinking about Aidan. No more shovel in the khazi.

0:20:290:20:33

Just my lovely boozer, my lovely wife, right now.

0:20:330:20:36

Right at this very minute. Yeah, come here.

0:20:360:20:40

SHE GIGGLES

0:20:400:20:42

Fancy.

0:20:430:20:44

All my own work off my own back, before you travel down that path.

0:20:440:20:47

HE LAUGHS

0:20:470:20:49

I know you didn't rob me.

0:20:490:20:51

You'd be rubbing my nose in it, if you did.

0:20:510:20:54

So, what did Michael want?

0:20:540:20:56

Drugs, Aidan? Really? Is that your style now?

0:20:560:21:01

A means to an end.

0:21:010:21:03

You know yourself, many a legitimate empire has been built on drugs.

0:21:030:21:07

Supply and demand dictate the market.

0:21:070:21:09

-Leave the Carters alone.

-What's it to you?

0:21:090:21:12

Nothing. But it cheapens you.

0:21:120:21:14

Yeah, and Mick's a good bloke. He don't deserve it.

0:21:140:21:17

-I thought I told you to leave?

-I asked him to stay.

0:21:170:21:20

So many women today have been asking me

0:21:220:21:24

to get out of their business but they don't have the backup.

0:21:240:21:28

Get out, Billy.

0:21:330:21:34

No.

0:21:380:21:39

BILLY CRIES OUT

0:21:420:21:44

And you better pray that I stay on the Carters

0:21:440:21:48

because, if for any reason they win through, you know exactly

0:21:480:21:52

where I'm going to set up shop next?

0:21:520:21:54

BOTH: Spoons!

0:22:060:22:08

-I do love a spoon.

-Me too.

0:22:080:22:10

It's the next best thing to a fork.

0:22:100:22:13

THEY LAUGH

0:22:130:22:15

PHONE RINGS

0:22:150:22:18

-Oh...

-Give us it here.

0:22:180:22:20

How's it hanging, Elaine?

0:22:240:22:26

Yeah, no, she's working behind the bar.

0:22:260:22:30

You know, she's gotta earn her keep, my darling, in't she, eh?

0:22:300:22:33

Yeah, whose anniversary? Trevor?

0:22:330:22:36

Oh, Trevor! Oh, with the leg? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:22:380:22:43

And you want us there.

0:22:430:22:45

I'll have to ask her, because, you know,

0:22:450:22:47

we're going to have to get last minute cover,

0:22:470:22:49

you know what them wretches are like. They want triple pay

0:22:490:22:52

and all that. Oh, all right, then. All right. Ta-ta.

0:22:520:22:55

Silly mare.

0:22:570:22:59

-You don't want to go, do you?

-No.

0:23:010:23:04

Might be an idea? Get away.

0:23:040:23:06

I'm staying right here.

0:23:080:23:09

He's a psycho!

0:23:110:23:13

Head forward.

0:23:130:23:14

Ow!

0:23:140:23:16

Billy, keep still.

0:23:160:23:17

Why would he do that, eh? Eh?

0:23:190:23:22

How am I supposed to go and see my kids looking like this?!

0:23:220:23:26

Put ice on it.

0:23:320:23:33

It weren't my fault, all right, she just ran away.

0:23:360:23:38

-What was wrong with her?

-Nothing.

0:23:380:23:40

She was brunette, beautiful. She even had a thing for washing-up.

0:23:400:23:43

-Well, then, how did you nause it up?

-Ask Phil.

-Phil?

0:23:430:23:47

He come storming in with his size nines, didn't he?

0:23:470:23:49

-I hope this ain't a ploy to get Billy in!

-I wish it was.

0:23:490:23:52

-She's having a little kip.

-It's all right for some.

0:23:580:24:01

-Mick.

-What? You've said your piece.

0:24:030:24:05

Sling your hook. No offence.

0:24:050:24:07

Brandy, please.

0:24:070:24:09

What's that, claret?

0:24:090:24:10

Somewhere private.

0:24:120:24:14

Here.

0:24:190:24:21

-What's this? The Samaritans, yeah? Cheers.

-You wanted rid of him.

0:24:220:24:26

Rid? What do you mean, rid?

0:24:270:24:30

You call that number. That's all you need to know.

0:24:300:24:34

Is this what I think it is?

0:24:340:24:36

Aidan'll take it this far, are you prepared to go there?

0:24:360:24:39

Or are you a victim?

0:24:390:24:41

-I don't know who you think I am.

-You don't mention my name.

0:24:420:24:45

I never gave you this.

0:24:450:24:47

Cos this is your way out.

0:24:480:24:50

I don't want it.

0:24:510:24:52

Listen, I'll throw a few digs at anyone.

0:24:530:24:56

I got beef with 'em, I face up to it.

0:24:560:24:58

I don't do this, you know I don't.

0:24:580:25:01

-I'm going to change.

-Don't... Who is it?

0:25:020:25:05

Mel! I'll get her drink.

0:25:210:25:23

Heard you're looking for staff? And I do have extensive...

0:25:230:25:27

..experience.

0:25:290:25:30

L...

0:25:420:25:43

Yeah? What's happened?

0:25:430:25:46

Nothing. No, it's just...

0:25:470:25:50

Go on, you whack out some zeds, go on.

0:25:550:25:59

-You took your time.

-Busy man.

0:26:190:26:22

-Well, it's good to see you.

-How was your little trip?

0:26:220:26:26

Yeah, good.

0:26:260:26:28

Did you make those enquiries before you left? You said you would.

0:26:280:26:32

-And you said you'd make yourself scarce.

-I get bored so easy.

0:26:320:26:36

-And impatient.

-Well, whoever's got the money is going to slip up

0:26:360:26:39

-sooner or later, ain't they?

-Maybe they already have?

0:26:390:26:43

The Carters seem to know something.

0:26:430:26:45

-You don't think so?

-Maybe.

0:26:460:26:48

We'll find out sooner or later.

0:26:480:26:50

She won't mind. Another coffee over here, darlin'.

0:26:520:26:55

Listen, I've gotta get home. I ain't seen Sharon yet.

0:26:550:26:58

I need you to stay here for a few more minutes. An alibi.

0:26:580:27:02

-What for?

-Just a thing.

0:27:020:27:04

So...

0:27:050:27:06

..Melanie? You seen her, did you find out what's what?

0:27:060:27:09

No, no. She don't give much away, does she?

0:27:090:27:13

I paid her a visit myself today.

0:27:140:27:16

Phil, I trust you with my life.

0:27:180:27:21

Likewise.

0:27:210:27:23

I just hope my money is not funding this?

0:27:230:27:26

What you doing down here, son? Come here.

0:27:480:27:51

Who was it?

0:27:550:27:57

Just Ollie having a little play, weren't you?

0:27:570:27:59

I'll not leave the Square until I find that money.

0:28:050:28:08

Or I will make my fortune through the Vic, one or the other.

0:28:100:28:15

Get the bill, mate.

0:28:150:28:16

-L! Get him upstairs.

-What, hang on, Mick, what is it?

0:28:200:28:23

Someone's poured petrol through the... Just get him in the shower!

0:28:230:28:26

OK, OK! It's all right, baby, it's all right...

0:28:260:28:29

Teen, stay there!

0:28:320:28:33

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