08/03/2018 EastEnders

You're not planning on putting your name up there, are you?

Nah. No, this is for heroes, Jack.

I don't know about that.

Most of these boys didn't have a choice in the matter.

Bravest thing they did was not run away.

Well, I ain't running away.

Did you get anything?

Nah, I tried.

Listen, Mick. Just say the word, I'm there for you, yeah?

Eight o'clock, is it?

Right, listen, I'll speak to Ingrid, get the kids down, I'll be round.

You ain't got no beef with Aidan.

If I wanted the Queen Vic full of druggies

and power drinkers, I'd get Phil Mitchell off the wagon, wouldn't I?

Plus, he's kicking out a good family. That's enough for me.

He might have backup.

So have you.

Answer me!

Why am I getting texts about you ditching school?

I broke something, all right?

What have you broke?

-You've got to be winding me up!

-It's brand-new!

You can't leave school because you broke your phone!

-I was upset.

-Yeah, so am I.

Do you know how much it costs to replace a screen?

How did you drop it?

I didn't mean to, did I?

Keegan knocked it out of my hands with a ball.

-Again?

-Yeah.

Right, get your coat. He owes us.

He'll be out at the park.

He'll be knocked out, when I get hold of him.

Tiff? Tiff!

-What?

-Can you come down for a minute, please?

I thought you wanted me to stay in my room.

-Well, Halfway's going to video call me, ain't he?

-What? You showing off?

No, I just need you to help me with me face.

And make that look reasonable.

Look, Whit, I know I'm good but, come on, give me a chance.

-Well, you can go straight back up to your room, if you like.

-All right!

I'll go get my blowtorch and goggles!

-Cheeky!

-Oi, watch my hair!

Right. I've got my weapons of mass attraction.

What's up?

I should tell him about Mick.

What's it to do with Halfway, anyway?

Nothing.

Come on, then, slap me war paint on.

So why are you getting involved?

I want Aidan gone, yeah?

Mick's hardly going to be able to do that.

And why do you care if he's gone or not?

You don't want Pearl growing up around drugs, do you?

-Drugs.

-Don't say that.

See? That's what I'm talking about, though, right there.

Baby girl, you don't worry. We are not going to stand for it.

DOORBELL RINGS

This is a good neighbourhood,

and no three-year-old should know that word.

But listen, listen!

Are you listening? You said it very nicely.

But don't say it again. OK?

-Yes, Mummy.

-OK.

Bit quiet.

It's dead, Mick.

Well, it's early doors, innit?

Everyone knows who's coming. So...

Oh, leave off!

What are you doing with a Taser?

It's the best I could get at short notice.

-What do you think's going to happen here?

-War.

No! Put it away. It ain't going to come to that.

-You going to talk him round, are you, Mick?

-Yeah.

Failing that, I got Vincent, I got Jack, I got Billy backing me,

so, you know...

Two out of three ain't bad.

You know, you frighten me sometimes, you really do.

I'm going to show that geezer I ain't going to roll over, there ain't going to be no war.

There certainly ain't going to be any Tasers. Do you hear me?

Well, I'll be there as well.

He's old-fashioned, he wouldn't hit a woman.

You hope.

Now, did I get them wipes?

Cos he will realise that he'll have to back down.

Walk away from the Taser, Mother!

So, what if I get sold drugs by one of Aidan's gang?

You don't want to find out, trust me.

She wanted me to see if you were OK, and Hunter.

I didn't want to bother you.

Well, you can tell her we're doing fine.

Thank you for visiting.

-But don't visit again?

-Correct.

You did a good job. She'll leave you alone.

-Did she?

-Ha...

Oi! I want to talk to you.

Oi!

Talking to you!

ENGINE STARTS

-LAUGHS:

-Cursed...

Weyland's, poor Abi, now Ollie.

Our pub, a drugs den. I'm telling you, Mick...

-Oh, leave off.

-It is!

You know, your mother's going to be sick of us threatening

to move in every half hour.

No, this ain't a threat. All right?

With or without you, we are going.

I've had enough, Mick, my nerves can't take it.

Good.

Eh?

I want you four out the way, and then I'll call you tomorrow

and you can come back after I've sorted this mess out.

Are you deluded? I mean, what do you think is going to happen?

Aidan ain't going to back down. We've tried everything!

Yeah, tonight, he will. This is Ollie's stuff.

I wish I could believe it, I really do,

but blind optimism just ain't enough.

I can see clearly, L.

Come with us, all right? You're kidding yourself.

-He's going to get himself killed.

-Oh, shut up, Teen.

-PHIL:

-How do you know the driver of the van?

-MEL:

-How do you know he was driving the van?

Cut the crap, all right?

Now, he said, "You did a good job,"

which means you've got the money back.

Why are you asking me so many questions if you know everything?

Well, who nicked it off of Ben?

And Mick didn't have anything to do with it, so why's Aidan after him?

And if you don't know, who does, eh?

Listen, if you shrug one more time...

Look, listen, caveman, believe it or not, I am protecting you here.

I've sorted things with Ciara, I didn't rob anyone, unlike you,

and I'm not turning anyone over, which is something you should be thanking me for.

Thanking you? Why should I be thanking you?

I've got to make dinner for my boy.

Listen, why should I be thanking you?

Now, you tell me everything, now!

You don't want to know everything. Just be happy it's gone away.

Dad, can we go?

I'm serious when I say...

..what you don't know won't hurt you.

No need, my love. No punters.

What, have you run out of booze?

No.

Got a little showdown with Aidan, so people are keeping their distance.

Oh, the Irish fella?

Cricket bat to the knees worked for us, back in the day.

-I think you and my mum need a little chat.

-No, no, no.

I'm just saying that violence is the only thing some people understand.

See, he who's prepared to go that extra mile wins!

Why don't you pop back a bit later, about nineish,

and I'll buy you a drink?

Bit late for me, son. I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah.

I hope so.

Why are you still here?

Cos it's my gaff.

You apologise to Aidan and you let him shift his gear.

He'll soon get bored, it ain't his thing.

I can't do that, Phil.

You front him out and he'll kill you.

Come on, Dad, I want to go home.

Not with my backup.

He'll kill them an' all.

DISTANT SIREN

You didn't get the answers you were looking for from her?

-Do you know anything?

-How well do you know Mr Maguire?

I was banged up with him 24 hours a day, best part of a year.

That's nearly enough time to scratch the surface.

Are you telling me Aidan gave Ciara the money back?

No, I'm not telling you nothing.

The money has returned to the rightful owner, matter closed.

Just a bit of advice -

Mr Maguire is like a magician.

Shows you up his sleeve while the other hand...

-..is in your wallet.

-All I want to know is who nicked the money.

You did, with him.

And the others.

I mean from us.

In a way, you did.

ENGINE STARTS

Can we go now?

You all right, Bill? You're a bit early.

Want a booze?

What's happened?

Aidan...

I'm sorry, Mick...

No, don't be sorry.

Don't be sorry. Get yourself off. Go on, I understand.

It wasn't Keegan's fault, really.

I shouldn't have had my phone out in the first place.

And I've got some savings, so I'll just pay for a new screen.

At least someone round here knows how to tell the truth.

You got any homework needs doing?

Get it done, then.

-VOICEMAIL:

-Please leave a message after the tone.

Sharon, it's me...

Where are ya?

We need to talk about Mel, and her mate Ciara.

PHONE CLATTERS, HE SIGHS

Do us half a lager.

You all right?

Billy's out.

Oh, no! What we going to do without Billy?

-AS PRIVATE FRAZER:

-We're doomed, I tell yer, we're doomed!

HE CHUCKLES

How do we keep getting in these messes?

Maybe...we are cursed.

I know I certainly am.

All we want to do is have a boozer, have it tick over nicely,

have a bit of a laugh along the way.

I mean, is that too much to ask?

MESSAGE TONE

"Have my drink ready.

"No rubbish. Single malt.

"8pm. Aidan."

Clearly it is too much to ask.

-He's late.

-Good, cos this blackhead won't go.

Argh, Tiff!

I thought you were too old to get spots anyway!

INTERNET CALL TONE You cheeky little madam.

Right, he's calling. Go on, clear off.

You going to tell him about the big fight, then?

What can he do about it?

Maybe just turn your head to the right a bit

so he can't see your spot.

Hi!

You are a sight for sore eyes.

-You OK?

-Yeah.

You got a sore neck?

Yeah, I slept funny.

I wish I was there to massage it for you.

-BACKGROUND CHATTER

-Shut up, ya mugs!

Sorry, Whit, someone found a stash of digestives,

they're selling them for a fiver.

Um, I need to...

-I've got to tell you something.

-You ain't funny.

Eurgh, there's a skid mark in them as well!

Sorry, Whit, they shouldn't even be in here.

Well, it's about Mick.

Why, what's up? Is he all right?

-Yeah, for now...

-Wahey!

I swear, I'm going to iron the pair of you out.

Sorry, Whit, I'll have to ring you back

once I've got rid of these divs. I'm sorry.

Go on. Whack another one in there.

Is that your tactic, is it?

Get drunk so you can't feel anything?

They're only halves.

Yeah, but they add up to wholes, Mick, and you're a lightweight.

Last chance. We're setting off in a minute.

Yeah, and I'll call you later. I'll see you tomorrow.

L! L!

Come here. Give us a kiss. Don't... Don't leave like that.

Look, I know you're doing this for us, but there's no need.

Let's just cut our losses and go.

I don't hear no fat bird singing, do you?

So while we've still got a chance, I'm going to stay here.

Drag him out if it gets bad.

Vincent. How are you, son?

He had this delivered to my house.

For Pearl.

It's even more reason to help us out.

No... No, not when he's threatening his kid.

He wouldn't go for a kid.

Would he?

Well, he was happy to soak Ollie in petrol, weren't he? So...

And he wasn't fussed to make Pearl an orphan.

Listen, Mick, I want to help, man, I do...

Listen, listen, it's all right, I understand.

Go.

Go and look after them girls of yours. Go on.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

-Tell Linda... Tell her to wait.

-Eh?

I ain't having no more kids being threatened because of me.

He ain't getting our apology either.

When he gets here, we'll be locked up, we'll be long gone.

And then what?

Well, he'll have nowhere to serve his drugs up from

and he'll disappear. We'll be back in a week, tops.

You hope.

It's a plan, innit?

It's only me!

Right...

Can you give me a hand with the unpacking?

Typical.

-Well, you're early.

-I was just dusting off me jab.

Yeah, well you can keep that jab on hold, son,

cos we're going to do the offs.

I don't know who I was trying to kid,

cos there ain't a line that Aidan won't cross.

And he will damage all of us.

-So, we're going to have it on our toes.

-On your toes?

I'm not a gangster. I'm a family man.

Some good people round here, and you're one of 'em, Jack.

Listen, you give me a call if you need anything, yeah?

-And I'll see you soon.

-Yeah. Yeah, I hope so.

-VOICEMAIL:

-You have one new message.

Press star for more options.

-PHIL:

-Sharon, it's me...

Where are ya?

We need to talk about Mel, and her mate Ciara.

HE SNORES

Lady Di's taking up half the back seat with all her stuff.

Your mum's going to love us.

-There's a cheap B&B down the road.

-And then what?

And then we all live happily ever after, Shirl -

"live" being the operative word.

-He's going to burn this place down!

-Well, we won't be in it.

-We're not all going to fit in the motor.

-One, two, three...

-Five!

-It's a five seater.

-And where's this going to go?

Mum, you go with the boy, and, Tina, we'll get a cab to Euston.

Brilliant idea. Right, come on, girls - and boy! Let's go.

Don't. It's not for long.

We should not be running.

Well, we are, so grab a suitcase.

No, Teen... put the big ones in first,

and we'll put the little ones next to Ollie and Lady Di.

Right, I'll see you soon, baby, OK?

Have fun with your Auntie Tina and the grumpy one.

That pushchair needs to go in first.

You're having a bubble, in't ya? All right, all right...

Put that in there first.

And put that in.

-See you soon, OK?

-Love you.

Drive safe.

What are you waiting for, a kiss or something?

No, I ain't had me shots. Go on.

Bye, Shirl.

-Tina, please don't kill us.

-Shut up!

Go on, go in. Go on. Give me a minute.

DRILL WHIRS

Cab's messing us about, ring road's rammo.

Oh, Shirley and Tina won't be happy.

-Let's jump on the Oxo instead.

-Yeah.

You got a pound, babe?

DOOR CLOSES

Sharon?

Sharon?

No. Better than that.

Pretty flamingo?

No, that's our song, that's for us.

Yeah. We need one for the Vic.

What does every queen need?

MUSIC: Your Love is King by Sade

-He's going away now.

-Good! That was my advice.

What, run away? That was Phil Mitchell's advice?

Do as I say, not as I do. This is Mick we're talking about.

This is my family!

What do you want, them to head for the hills?

Running like a bunch of screaming rats from a burning building?

No, Aidan's worse than a burning building.

He's an old man. You can stop him!

Be Phil Mitchell again,

not some pathetic crony hanging about with a 70-year-old!

Dad?

Sorry, babe, I didn't know it was International Have A Row Day.

Well, I'm trying to do my homework.

Aren't you a good girl, getting the job done?

-Just get back upstairs, yeah?

-But the shouting.

This is my normal speaking voice, darling.

Don't worry, I'll be finished with him soon.

Make her stop.

Yeah...

..make me stop, Phil.

# It's making my soul sing

# I'm crying out for more

# Your love is king

# This is no blind faith

# This is no sad or sorry dream

# This is no blind faith

# Your love

# Your love is real... #

He was my cellmate, and I ain't going against him.

You were close, were you?

There's an unspoken agreement,

and he won't break it, and neither will I.

Even though you know he's in the wrong?

Yeah.

So you're just going to sit there and watch him drive us out?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Louise! Put your headphones on!

You had a spine once! But you're nothing! You're nobody!

That's what you've become!

If I could go back in time, I would give your dad a vasectomy!

And that liver of yours is wasted.

They should have given it to somebody useful,

someone who wanted it.

You are a selfish, horrible git, Phil Mitchell!

And I hope you rot in hell.

And I never want to see you again.

You finished?

You are.

Wish I put my big coat on.

Yeah, it is a bit nippy, innit?

Wish we'd taken the car and got your mum and Tina to get the train.

We'd only be stuck in traffic with Ollie kicking off in the back.

True.

I want to look back.

No, baby. Don't.

Right, then.

-Yeah.

-Who've you been talking to?

A lot of people.

Some had nothing to say...

..others, plenty.

I did it for us, you know I did.

Look, I wanted everything to die down before I told you.

I wanted Aidan gone. I wanted everyone to stop looking for it.

It was you?!

Oh, I don't believe it.

What?

I've left me wallet on the bar.

-Well, use my bank card.

-No, I'm not going to leave it.

It's got me credit cards in there, me driving licence.

I'm not going to let Aidan steal me identity as well.

Well, hurry up, then.

No, listen, it's freezing.

You go to Euston, and I'll meet you in that nice little cafe.

-You know, the one we like?

-I thought we were leaving together?!

I'll be lively. I'll be on the next Tube.

Otherwise you'll catch a cold, then you'll give it to me,

then you're going to have to look after me. It'll be a mare.

Don't be long.

All right. Get me one of them frothy coffees,

you know, give me a couple of sugars.

Come on, then.