The Invisible Man Father Brown

Oh, this is fun.

I must say, Lady Felicia, I never thought that the circus

would be quite your thing.

Oh, it has its attractions.

Oh! Nicholas! Laura.

I believe we have our second meeting tomorrow.

11 o'clock. Don't be late. Father Brown has a baptism at 12.

Any jitters yet?

Only at the thought of tripping over on the way down the aisle.

She had a dream.

A premonition.

Laura!

-Laura!

-Mr Smythe!

How do you two...?

Mr Smythe used to come to the cafe when the circus was here last year.

You and your friend... Oh, what was his name?

Mr Welkin.

These aren't for me, are they?

-Laura, I've done it. I've made my fortune.

-You've what?

And now I've come back to...

..in the hope that you'll fulfil our agreement.

-What agreement?

-For your hand...

..in marriage.

Look, I circled it.

"Hope's Promise."

I couldn't believe it when I saw it. Laura Hope.

Hope's Promise.

It was a sign. Don't you think, Father?

I put everything I had on her and, bam, she won!

Another sign! £100 in winnings.

Hardly what I'd call a fortune.

I heard that, hairdo.

Laura, what's going on?

-Who's this?

-I am her fian...

-What you doing out here?

-None of your business.

-It's completely unprofessional.

The audience isn't supposed to see us before a show.

Backstage, now. Now!

Meet me here after, please.

Something you want to tell me?

-I...

-Maybe...you should sit down.

And tell us why Mr Smythe thinks you've agreed to marry him.

Because I... I did.

-You what?

-And not just him.

Mr Welkin, too.

What on earth possessed you?

Smythe and Welkin were regulars.

They were funny, always making me laugh.

And I'll admit I used to flirt a bit.

-Dead man's hand.

-Are you sure you're not cheating?

An honourable man like me?

Anything else for my two favourite customers?

Actually, I've got something for you...

-..a leaving present.

-You sweetheart!

Do you have a suitor, my dear?

Are you offering, Mr Welkin?

-If you'll do me the honour...

-Me too. I'd make you a fine husband.

-You've already got a girlfriend.

-Don't listen to him.

You're the only one for me.

It's not fair to ask me to choose between you. I love you both.

So, how are you to decide? You can't marry us both.

Hmm, that's a tough one.

I tell you what,

whichever one of you first makes his fortune,

that's the one I'll marry.

Agreed?

Agreed.

Agreed.

Well, that settles that, then!

That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard.

-Couldn't have been more than a month after that, I met you.

-You didn't think to tell me?

I didn't think they'd take it seriously.

Men can be delusional...especially when they're in love.

I think our best course of action is to talk to Misters Smythe and Welkin

after the show

and clear up the matter. Agreed?

-Agreed.

-Yes.

You and a girl like that?

-Meaning what?

-Meaning she's...and you're...

What, she's tall and I'm short, is that what you're trying to say?

Meaning she's pretty and you're ugly.

Feel better now?

Well, she's agreed.

Oh, is that so?

-What about Enid?

-Things have gotten stale between us.

What, so you're just going to throw her aside?

She's not the one.

If she was, I'd know by now.

I'll let her down gently.

See this girl? Happy to join the circus, is she?

Wouldn't ask her to do that. After today's performance, I'm leaving.

-Excuse me?!

-I'm sorry, Marvin!

-What about the double act?

-The heart wants what the heart...

-Don't give me that!

You've wanted out for years.

Maybe I have.

Maybe I've had enough of...

-prat-falls and custard pies in the face!

-This is a noble profession.

Noble? I'm stuffing balloons down my trousers!

-Making people laugh is the highest call...

-Calling there is.

Yes, I know. Well, perhaps I've found a higher calling -

the beating of my heart.

You make me sick!

Marvin...

What was that about?

-Disagreement over a custard pie.

-What do you want for dinner tonight?

Erm... Anything. Up to you.

You all right?

Yeah. See you later.

Look, I've won.

I've made my fortune.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Nothing?

I thought you were an honourable man.

I'm going to slit your throat.

Oh!

CHEERING

HE CRIES

CHEERING

And now, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls...

prepare yourselves for the master of the dark arts,

the purveyor of forbidden magic,

knower of secrets,

the Grand Wizard Welkin!

APPLAUSE

There is nothing more precious to the human psyche

than the belief in free will.

And yet, this belief can be shattered,

crushed, exposed as nothing more than an illusion.

To demonstrate this, I shall need a volunteer.

You...

Come to me.

Some encouragement, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What is your name?

Laura.

Are you afraid of pain, Laura?

Of course you are. You're human.

But today...

you will feel no pain,

none at all.

Do you understand?

Yes.

WIND CHIMES TINKLE

Look deep into the light.

Lose yourself in its shimmering...beauty.

Relax.

AUDIENCE GASPS

Raise your arm.

Place it into the fire.

GASPS FROM CROWD

Into the flame!

How do you feel?

I feel...fine.

You will be mine.

And you weren't scared?

No.

Explain that, Father.

Never underestimate the power of suggestion.

You're shaking.

What did he whisper in your ear?

He said...

"You will be mine."

This has gone far enough! When I get my hands...

Try to stay calm.

As soon as Mr Smythe gets here, we'll get him to fetch Welkin.

It's time we put a stop to this nonsense.

-Going somewhere?

-Er...

Ow!

Marvin told me everything.

METALLIC SOUND OF KNIFE

Hello?

Someone there?

Help!

Help!

Mr Smythe?!

He tried to kill me.

-Tall, like some sort of spectre.

-Evil eyes.

Spectre with evil eyes?

That about sums him up.

Mr Welkin do that too?

Er, no.

That was someone else.

Who?

My ex-girlfriend.

Looks like he's disappeared, sir.

Witnesses reported seeing him near the knife thrower's caravan

shortly before the attack.

Dust it for fingerprints.

If he comes near you again, report it immediately.

That's it?

What about some protection?

We don't have the resources for that...

Inspector, I do think Mr Welkin is dangerous.

If he is prowling around Kembleford...

I'll conduct a brief search.

If I were you, I'd avoid being alone. Good day.

Do you have a safe place to stay?

I've got a B&B booked for tonight -

a room for two.

Look here, you little...

Who are you calling "little"?!

-Mr Smythe...

-Reggie, please.

Let me do this properly.

Oh, for Heaven's sake!

Laura, from the moment I first saw you,

I knew you were the one...

No, stop it!

Mr Smythe...

Reggie.

When I offered my hand in marriage...

I meant it as nothing more than a joke.

THUNDER RUMBLES

You don't have to stay with me, Father. I'll be fine.

Nonsense. Broken hearts need company.

I really don't think it's safe for us

to be in the same room as a potential murder victim.

Agreed. You should go.

I'm not leaving you alone with a madman on the loose.

I suppose we could have a nice cup of tea

-while we wait for the maniac to arrive?

-Grand.

I've made a mess of everything.

A great, big, stupid mess.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I don't need your platitudes, Father.

Please leave me alone, both of you.

I don't think that will be a good idea.

Until Mr Welkin is found, it would be safer if...

I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one.

Please, leave.

We'll be downstairs.

Call if you need us.

A spectre with evil eyes. What next?

Goblins? Witches?

There's a storm coming.

Oh, perfect!

What's that? Stop the car!

One snigger out of you...

Not a peep, sir.

Wait a minute. What's that?

Careful.

Almost cut myself.

What are you doing?

Showing my appreciation.

For what?

For staying overnight to protect me.

Couldn't leave my damsel in distress all alone with her parents away, could I?

Your damsel?

My damsel.

I'm sorry about all this.

It's not your fault men can't help falling at your feet.

THUNDER CRASHES

SHE GASPS

What is it?

I just saw him outside.

Stay here. Lock the door behind me.

-Well, don't go out there.

-I'll be all right.

He went this way.

We've been out here for over half an hour.

I think we should...

-What was that?

-What?

-I thought I heard something.

-You're hearing things.

Any sign of Welkin?

No. No-one's been in or out.

We thought we saw someone on the field coming this way.

I'm going back to check on Laura.

Where's Smythe?

Well, he's in his room.

He said he wanted to be on his...

Help!

Holy Mother of God.

Call an ambulance.

-WEAKLY:

-Welkin.

..Ut a peccatis liberatum te salvet atque propitius allevet.

I never should have left him alone.

You sure he couldn't have got past you?

We were outside the whole time.

Rear exit's open. Lock's unbolted, same as here.

He must've made Mr Smythe unlock the doors with his mind control.

Still here, Mrs McCarthy?

You too, Father. This is a crime scene.

The windows were secure.

What about the air vent?

Too small for Welkin to have got through that.

Inspector?

Was he burning this when he was attacked?

I'll take that, thank you.

Why?

I believe you've been looking for me.

Arthur Welkin, at your service.

A sing-a-long?

Yes, it was a grand old time. Lovely people, the Kemblefordians.

You're not from here, are you? I can tell. City boy?

What was the name of this pub?

Why are you all the way out here? That's what I want to know.

I'm asking the questions.

Let me guess...

..running away from something?

Ex-girlfriend? No.

Domineering father.

Yes...

That's it.

What was the name?

The Cloak and Dagger.

That's apt, wouldn't you say?

You threatened Mr Smythe's life this morning

and later threw a knife at him after the performance.

-Nonsense.

-Then why did he say your name before he died?

Oh, did he? How sweet!

PHONE RINGS

By law, a man's last words are considered to be the truth.

-It's known as...

-A dying declaration.

Exactly.

Perhaps it was a declaration of love.

We shall never know.

That was Jez Watts.

Him and the lads were in The Cloak tonight.

-Yes, and?

-Welkin's telling the truth.

He was there at the time of the murder,

singing along in front of about 30-odd regulars.

I believe that means you'll have to release me,

unless you believe I have the power to be in two places at once?

'50s MUSIC PLAYS

Good morning, my dear.

How are you after last night's excitement?

What do you want?

To claim my prize.

-That was just a joke.

-It was your word.

But the agreement was you had to make your fortune -

that was your word, too.

The fortune I have to offer is worth more than money can buy.

You will marry me and with great willingness of spirit.

You were romantically involved with Mr Smythe, is that right?

Must've been very upsetting when he jilted you.

I didn't kill him!

But you did punch him on the nose?

He deserved it after what he did.

-And you are?

-Marvin Morris.

I've got a motive too.

-Want to hear it?

-Please.

Reggie was a backstabbing, small-minded, petty...

Stop it!

He walked out on Enid, walked out on our double-act.

Where were you both at the time of the murder?

Having a stroll in the fields.

Together?

In the dark?

With a storm on its way?

I was upset. I needed some air.

Witnesses?

We didn't see anyone.

How convenient.

Well, until this case is over, no vanishing acts, please.

Maybe I should run down to the cafe, see where she's got to.

If she's much later, Father, you'll have to cancel.

How was she this morning?

Tired. Barely said a word before she left for work.

Let's go down to the cafe together.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Ah!

-Oh!

Good morning.

I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I am...

I know who you are.

Laura, what's going on?

We've some wonderful news. Tell them, my dear.

We're getting married.

-You're what?

-You heard her.

Tomorrow morning we'll leave with the circus,

and shortly thereafter, join in blissful union.

Have you gone mad?

I'm sorry, Nicholas.

I understand you're her former suitor.

I do hope you'll be a gentleman and bow out with grace and decorum.

Outside, now.

Clearly not.

No, Nicholas.

I want to talk to Laura alone.

Anything you say to Laura you can say to me.

Do you really want to marry this man?

Rather an impertinent question.

I know it seems sudden, but I've never felt so in love before.

What?!

Yesterday, you were terrified of Mr Welkin

and now you say you're in love with him?

I can hardly believe it myself, but Arthur's shown me a side of him

I hadn't seen before -

warm, caring, funny.

Yes, I have a wonderful sense of humour.

I want to marry him.

And there you have it.

Let's speak in my study.

Let me perform the ceremony.

I can fit you in tomorrow afternoon.

Father?!

Any other priest would make you wait six months.

-You're willing to break protocol?

-I've been known to bend the rules.

-We'd have to delay our departure.

-Only for a few hours.

Very well. Tomorrow it is.

What have you done to her?

Merely stirred her passions.

I'll kill you.

That would solve nothing.

Laura, what is this? I don't understand.

Goodbye, Nicholas.

You understand that, don't you?

Goodbye!

You're not seriously going to marry them?

-Of course not.

-He's hypnotised her.

He must have. She wasn't herself.

Even the most suggestible person

can't be hypnotised to marry against their will.

-There must be something else going on.

-What?

There's only one thing for it -

I need to talk to Laura on her own.

Home, sweet home.

It's lovely.

Don't worry, my dear, I shall be the perfect gentleman...

..until after we're married, of course.

Welkin!

Excuse me.

Welkin!

DOG BARKS

You did it, didn't you?

Did what?

Killed Reggie.

If I had, I'd have thought you'd be thanking me.

He might've been an idiot, but he didn't deserve to die.

You did it and I'm going to prove it.

My dear, if it's not an imposition,

I'd like you to do something for me.

Let's say Enid Flay climbed through the air vent.

How did she get up there?

Either Marvin Morris helped her, or she used a ladder,

then she stabbed him, unlocked the door and escaped.

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

Sorry to disturb you, but I've just come from the circus.

I saw something - something terrible.

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

Enid Flay, I have a warrant to search your...

..caravan.

What a surprise.

What can I say?

I love the circus.

Search it for what?

We'll see.

Shall we?

Oi!

Clear, sir.

I haven't done anything!

Oh, yes? Had some company, have we?

This is harassment.

What have we got here?

Someone put that there!

That's what they all say.

I'm taking you both in for questioning. Sergeant.

Come on, you.

How did you know to search the caravan?

Enid invited Laura for tea. She saw the knife in the cupboard.

-That's a lie!

-And also none of your concern, Father.

But if Enid killed Smythe, why did he say Welkin's name before he died?

Probably because he didn't want to incriminate his girlfriend.

You're clutching at straws.

And you, once again, are stepping way outside your bounds.

-What about the burnt fabric...?

-Goodbye, Father.

There's something you need to know -

Laura Hope is under Welkin's influence.

She's been coerced into marrying him.

Yes. Well, Welkin has an alibi.

He was at a pub sing-a-long at the exact time.

A sing-a-long?!

Apparently he does a raucous Knees-Up Mother Brown.

So, unless you have an explanation

as to how he can be in two places at once,

I suggest you go back to St Mary's and allow me to close this case.

Understood?

It belonged to my mother.

I thought it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress.

Well, I don't believe in that superstitious nonsense.

I believe only in love.

Love is the real magic.

You are so beautiful.

I'll leave you to undress, my dear.

What are you doing here?

Tell me what's happening.

Exactly what it looks like.

That you're being forced into marriage?

No.

Tell me why you're doing this.

I'm paying penance.

Penance?

What for?!

Arthur!

Laura, no, please.

He just barged in.

Father Brown, I'm beginning to get the impression

-you're having second thoughts about marrying us.

-Not at all.

Are you sure? We can always marry elsewhere.

I gave my word.

Tomorrow it is.

Very well. If you'll excuse us, we have a wedding to prepare for.

We've examined the knife - no fingerprints.

But the blood type matches Mr Smythe's.

This is your last chance to tell the truth.

We...

We spent the night together.

The night Mr Smythe was killed?

But we didn't kill him.

You've lied once already. Why should I believe you now?

Do you really think, if I did it,

I'd be stupid enough to leave a blood-stained knife in my caravan?

Murderers have made many stupid mistakes, you won't be the last.

I'm not a murderer.

You had means, motive and opportunity.

I'm charging you with the murder of Reggie Smythe.

Could you hold these? Thank you.

-You're a dab hand with the lock pick.

-Beginner's luck.

I don't understand why we're here.

Laura said something that made me wonder.

Wonder what?

What are you looking for?

I'll know it when I see it.

Laura's room?

Yes.

What was here?

I think it was a lamp.

Ah-ha!

So it broke. So what?

You said Laura had trouble sleeping, the night of the murder.

Well, it's hardly surprising.

How was she when you got back to the house AFTER you'd left the B&B?

Scared witless. Jumping at shadows.

I think I know what Mr Smythe was burning.

Try to stay calm. Father Brown always has a plan.

You do, don't you?

Oh, here they are now.

Well-wishers - how nice.

Let her go. However you're doing it, let her go.

Trust me.

Let's go in, shall we?

Why did the lamp break in your bedroom?

What?

The lamp in your bedroom window, why did it break?

The wind.

I saw tread marks on the window sill.

He's wasting our time.

I know why you're doing penance.

You killed Mr Smythe, didn't you?

What?

-Don't say a word. He knows nothing.

-I know enough.

Mr Smythe didn't stay in his room that night,

that's why he was so insistent that me and Mrs McCarthy left him alone...

so he could come to you.

He broke the lamp...

..climbing through your window.

I think I know what happened next,

but why don't you tell me?

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to kill him.

SOUND OF BREAKING GLASS

I thought it was Welkin.

SHE GASPS

HE GROANS

He told me not to call an ambulance, said it wasn't serious.

He wanted to go back to the B&B and pretend that Welkin did it,

get him arrested for attempted murder.

So you dressed his wound with this.

I found it in your sewing basket.

You have to go to hospital!

I'm fine. It barely hurts.

What are you doing here?!

I wanted to see you.

I understand you don't love me, but at least let me do this for you.

He gave me the knife and went back to the B&B.

Hmm.

Where he removed the dressing,

no doubt realising his wound was far more serious than he thought,

burned the evidence, then cried bloody murder.

Help!

Oh!

Help!

That doesn't explain why you agreed to marry him.

Yes, it does.

You saw it all, didn't you?

How else would you have got the knife?

Then you went directly to the pub to give yourself an alibi.

Why didn't you go to the police?

After I'd already covered up what I did?

How's that going to look?

Besides, I thought it was a just punishment

after what I did to Mr Smythe - hell on Earth with Mr Welkin.

You're not a murderer.

You don't deserve hell on Earth, or anywhere else.

This doesn't change anything. She killed Smythe,

and if she doesn't want to go to prison, she'll marry me.

And with great willingness of spirit.

Is that what you think love is?

Control?

Possession?

How does a priest know anything about love?

Mr Smythe knew what love was.

You know nothing about me.

I know you're a charlatan with a bag of cheap tricks.

What I feel for Laura is not a trick.

It's real.

If that is so, then why are you so blind to her suffering?

You are not the person who should be doing penance...

..you are.

Laura?

Goodbye, Mr Welkin.

It's over.

No, it's not.

I have to confess to Inspector Sullivan.

No.

I won't let someone else pay for my crime.

Father...

She's right.

Inspector?

I have something to tell you.

Inspector?

It's a confession...

from Welkin.

He says that Smythe snuck out of the B&B and confronted him,

so Welkin stabbed him.

-That's not...

-Where is he now?

I have no idea.

And this note...is for you.

"Laura, my love, this confession I make in your honour.

"It is my sacrifice for you..."

"I shall disappear and never be found,

"for who can find a phantom?

"Without love, that's all I am.

"I am nothing.

"I am hollow.

"I am dust."

CHURCH BELLS RING OUT

My heart's thundering.

That's a good sign.

She'll be here any minute.

Now, you should be inside.

Well, Father, when are you going to tell us what happened?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Why did Laura agree to marry Welkin?

Like Mrs McCarthy said, he had strange powers.

It was the hypnotism, I knew it!

Oh! You look beautiful.

-I'm a bundle of nerves.

-That's a good sign.

I'll go and tell the ushers she's here.

Deep breaths. Good luck.

Ready?

Ready.

CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS