The Rod of Asclepius Father Brown


The Rod of Asclepius

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CAR HORN HONKS

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Yoo-hoo!

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Do you want a lift?

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-Where are you headed?

-Hambleston.

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Glenda Pikes had triplets, so I'm taking her a shepherd's pie.

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What do you think, Mrs M? Isn't she divine?

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I think SHE should slow down.

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She arrived this morning.

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A present from Monty. He's so wonderfully generous.

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Didn't think to give you driving lessons at the same time?

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Sidney says I'm a very good driver.

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Ha!

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The words of a rogue and thief, whose wages you pay.

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SHE HONKS THE HORN

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Would you keep your eyes on the road?

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-Perhaps you'd prefer to walk.

-There's no maybe about it.

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In fact, I'd like you to stop this car at once.

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Suit yourself.

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TYRES SCREECH / LOUD THUD

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What a mess.

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CHURCH BELL TOLLS

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AMBULANCE BELL CLANGS

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What a fine mess you've got us into.

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Well, that's rich. It wasn't my fault!

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Oh, so the wall just ran out into the road in front of us, did it?

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If I recall, it was you who asked me to stop the car.

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The Countess of Montague. Fetch Sir Malcolm immediately.

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..you'd have known I didn't mean you to stop there and then!

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Her ladyship's nose will need to be reset under general anaesthetic.

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Same goes for your arm.

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You've got a displaced fracture,

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which will need operating on when the swelling goes down.

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And how long is that going to take?

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Around three days.

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Until then, I suppose I'm stuck here with you.

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Don't worry, Mrs McCarthy. I intend to be out of here as soon as...

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Ah, Malcolm! At last.

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Apologies for the delay. I was in theatre.

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How's Emma and the children?

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Oh, in finer fettle than you at this present moment.

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Although, what an honour it is

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to have the chair of the hospital board entrusted to our care.

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Quite.

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Do you think you could put in a call to Dickie Frobisher?

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I'm sure he'll want to do my operation in Harley Street.

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Yes. Of course.

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If you aren't concerned that it will send out mixed messages,

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given your unstinting support for the National Health Service.

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Well, yes, but...

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Indeed, if you don't have faith in our new vision...

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how can the people of Britain?

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How, indeed?

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But at least you have your friend to keep you company.

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SHE CLEARS HER THROAT AWKWARDLY

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You will never guess who the new anaesthetist is.

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-What are you doing?

-Have you seen the state of this cupboard?

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It's an accident waiting to happen.

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Has no-one ever said you sound like Matron.

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-It's Tony Fairfax!

-Who?

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He was a registrar when I did my training at Tommies.

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Also known as Dr Dish.

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Although, I warn you, he's the love-them-and-leave-them variety.

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Strictly not husband material.

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In which case,

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I'm sure Nurse Honeywell isn't the least bit interested.

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There's a tower of bedpans awaiting your attention in the sluice room.

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-TOGETHER:

-Yes, Matron.

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So how was Mr and Mrs Beaks' funeral?

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A good turnout.

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After 60 years together,

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it was a blessing they went within days of each other.

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HE COUGHS POLITELY

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Do you find my facial injuries amusing?

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-No, my lady.

-Perish the thought.

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Because so much as a smile out of you

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will result in instant dismissal.

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And you, Father, can kiss goodbye to your substantial annual donation

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to the roof fund.

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Well, you've only yourself to blame.

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Careering around the countryside at that speed!

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Anyone would think you were trying to kill the pair of us.

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I'm beginning to wish I had!

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Now you see what I have to put up with?

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Father, how exactly are you going to cope with me being in here?

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Well, we'll just have to manage.

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Mm.

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Oh...

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Give it here!

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See how high you can get.

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Oi!

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What you doing?!

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Sorry, Mrs Beale. No smoking during Sir Malcolm's ward round.

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Good evening, Sir Malcolm. Dr Fairfax.

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Good evening, Matron. Lead on.

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We have one new arrival this evening, transferred from casualty.

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Mrs Garrity, 65.

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Fell off a ladder picking apples.

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She's suffered a concussion and a humeral fracture.

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The orthopaedic registrar thinks it should be reduced in theatre.

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Did you think to tell the orthopaedic reg

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that I've better things to do with my time

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than reduce a minimally-displaced fracture?

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I believe the patient reported numbness.

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Dr Irvine was concerned about neurovascular compromise.

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I never thought I'd see you again.

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Well, I never!

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Mr and Mrs Weston.

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Fair enough.

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Put her first on my list in the morning.

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Mrs Crabbe. Suspected appendicitis.

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We're just waiting for her haemoglobin test to come back.

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HORSE RACING COMMENTARY ON RADIO

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TURNS RACING COMMENTARY OFF

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I knocked, but nobody heard.

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Mrs Steele.

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-To what do I owe the pleasure?

-I'm your locum parish secretary,

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appointed by the parish council during Mrs McCarthy's absence.

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-Sidney Carter.

-I know who you are.

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And I can see... I have my work cut out.

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Right, belt-and-braces job

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and out of here in double-quick time.

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Ready to go?

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I don't like her colour.

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I'm going to cut the gas and increase her oxygen.

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She's not responding.

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OK. Nothing but pure O2 now.

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-Still not responding.

-Is there an obstruction?

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There's no obstruction. Look at the bag.

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Are you unwell?

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I think the patient is the one in need of your attention.

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She's stopped breathing.

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Adrenaline. One in 10,000.

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Quickly, Nurse.

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There's no pulse.

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Watch where you're going, Sergeant!

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Oh...the Royal and Ancient.

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Very swanky.

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What's your handicap, sir?

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A wife and two kids and club rules state no women or children.

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All I need is a referee and I'm on the fairway,

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along with the rest of the local luminaries.

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Coroner's office called, sir. Death at the hospital.

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And that's of interest, because...?

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Unknown causes. The police are obliged to investigate.

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Er, Sir Malcolm Braithwaite's been informed

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that we'll be paying him a visit.

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You can tell the coroner

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to stick his red tape where the sun don't shine!

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As if Her Majesty's Constabulary have got nothing better to do

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than investigate non-suspicious...

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Sir Malcolm Braithwaite?

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Mm. He's the chief surgeon at St Luke's, sir.

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He's the secretary for the membership committee.

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I spy a silver lining, Sergeant.

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Well, chop-chop! What are you waiting for?

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Nurse, what's going on?

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Everyone seems to be at sixes and sevens.

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I'm afraid Mrs Garrity passed away on the operating table this morning.

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-Nurse...

-Ah-ah-ah!

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-What happened?

-No-one knows.

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The operation hadn't even started and it was only a fractured humerus.

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Not that there's anything for you to worry about.

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Although, there will be a full investigation, of course.

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When you've finished alarming the pre-operative patients,

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Mrs Dolan's hernia needs dressing.

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Yes, nurse.

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And for goodness' sake, change that apron

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before Matron catches you and blows a gasket.

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They're painting the railings. I must have brushed past them.

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Damn and blast! That's me fined five shillings if it doesn't come out.

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Paint is the very devil.

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Try turpentine and ammonia, mixed with a cup of salt.

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Thanks, Mrs McCarthy. You're a life-saver.

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The patient's respiration started to fail,

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so I cut the nitrous oxide and put her onto pure O2.

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She failed to respond,

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so I administered adrenaline.

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Sadly, to no avail.

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And has the equipment been checked?

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Fully checked, before and after the operation.

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The procedure was textbook.

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I'm afraid these things happen, Inspector.

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Anaesthetics is still very much in the unchartered waters

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of the medical profession.

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Sir Malcolm alludes to the fact that, six months ago,

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a patient died whilst under anaesthetic in my care,

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leading to a General Medical Council enquiry,

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at which I was fully exonerated.

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I can provide you with a full copy of the report,

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-if you'd care to read it.

-God, no!

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Here's the rub, Inspector.

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We are in the vanguard

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of the greatest social experiment in history -

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the National Health Service.

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Providing free medical care to all, at the point of delivery.

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The last thing we need right now is anyone doubting us.

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Oh, do you play?

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I'm up for membership at the R & A, as it happens.

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Oh, well...

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we're always keen to welcome

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like-minded pillars of the establishment.

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I'm sure you'll find us all a mutually supportive lot.

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Anything else, Sergeant?

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Then I think were finished here.

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See you in the clubhouse.

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CHURCH BELL TOLLS

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Argh!

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Balaclava... Nice touch.

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Element of surprise.

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Your reaction times are getting faster, Father.

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Father Brown?

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Mrs Steele.

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Erm, Sid was just teaching me the noble art of self-defence.

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I see.

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Mother Augustine is here. I put her in the study.

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Right. Yes.

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I'm on my way.

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If you could restrain yourself from attacking her.

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HE WINCES IN PAIN

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I'll be off.

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I find myself wondering why would a man of the cloth

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have a need to defend himself?

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You never know when you might get in trouble.

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Trouble begets trouble.

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And from what I hear, you, young man, are trouble with a capital T.

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You reckon, do you?

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Father Brown should be doing God's work,

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instead of brawling in public in the churchyard.

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Well, Father Brown is not your average priest.

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I don't know what Bridget McCarthy was thinking,

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but I think he'll find I run a tighter ship.

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Good luck with that!

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At last, a nurse next to a frying pan

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and my stomach's turning somersaults.

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Be a good girl and rustle up some bacon and eggs.

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Yes, Doctor.

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Just as soon as I've changed the dressing

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on Mrs Dolan's infected hernia.

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I'd heard you were a feisty one.

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Only that Mrs Dolan's stomach is in rather worse shape than yours

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at this precise moment.

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Look at the state of you!

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What do you expect, after running all the way across the quad?

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And you'll never guess... I think I know how Mrs Garrity died.

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And I don't think it was of natural causes.

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Which means, she was murdered.

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There's enough unfounded gossip flying around

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without you adding to it.

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Take no notice. She's prone to exaggeration.

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I can prove it and then we'll see what the police say, shall we?

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Why are there patients out of bed when Sir Malcolm is here

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to do his post-operative checks?

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METALLIC CLANG

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Who's there?

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APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS

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Aaaaahhhhhhh!

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Good morning, Father.

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Good morning, Mrs Steele.

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I usually see to my own breakfast.

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You're an elusive man to get hold of,

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so I thought we could start as we mean to go on with morning meetings.

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I've moved the first holy communicants to this afternoon,

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in between Reverend Frobisher and the African orphans' fundraiser,

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so you can spend the morning working on your homily...

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..uninterrupted.

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Good morning, Lady Felicia.

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I'm Dr Fairfax, your anaesthetist.

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-Is this the equipment that was used for Mrs Garrity?

-Certainly not.

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The theatre was cleared out afterwards

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and all the equipment put in storage.

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There's nothing to it.

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This black tank is the anaesthetic - nitrous oxide.

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-Green is carbon dioxide...

-Isn't that poisonous?

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Not when mixed with oxygen.

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That's this black and white chap here.

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Now, I'm going to give you a little injection

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with something to make you sleepy.

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If you could count back from ten for me?

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Ten.

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Nine.

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Eight.

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Seven.

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Six.

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Five.

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Four.

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Three...

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Father! Are you in there, Father?

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This door's always left open.

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Doubtless why Father Brown is so prone to distraction.

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Ah!

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He's writing his homily

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and under strict instructions not to be disturbed.

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Yeah, well, her ladyship's been trying to get hold of him.

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Last night, a nurse at St Luke's was murdered

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and she needs to see him urgently.

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Whatever for? He's not a policeman.

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Trust me, he'll want to know.

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No doubt he would.

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I'm well aware of his little crime-fighting hobby,

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but uncertain how kindly his parishioners

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take to these deviations to his duties.

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Do we understand each other, Mr Carter?

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We most certainly do, Mrs Steele.

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See you around.

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Not if I have my way.

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Six weeks ago, we were asked to investigate some missing drugs.

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Specifically, pethidine.

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I fail to see what this has to do with it.

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You were the last people to see Nurse Fletcher

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before she left the ward at the end of her shift.

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-Which would have been at...?

-Ten.

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When everybody headed to their beds, except Nurse Fletcher,

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who inexplicably decided to take a detour to theatre...

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..where I believe the drugs are kept.

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Securely, under lock and key.

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Ah, yes...

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Key.

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Nurse Fletcher dropped this when she was killed.

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Does anyone know which lock it fits?

0:19:400:19:43

It's the key to the nurses' common room. We've all got one.

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Not that it's ever locked. No doubt, there was a doctor involved.

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Young nurses tend to have one-track minds, Inspector.

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-A lovers' tiff gone wrong?

-Peggy wasn't the type!

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Something to add, Nurse Honeywell?

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It's probably nothing.

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Humour me.

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Peggy said Mrs Garrity had been murdered

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and was threatening to go to the police.

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-Said this to...?

-Oh, all of us, I suppose.

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At least, we were all there.

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This is ridiculous.

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The postmortem revealed no anomalies.

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We've put it down as a rare reaction to the anaesthetic.

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Were any of you acquainted with Mrs Garrity

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before her admission to hospital?

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Something else?

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Poor Peggy.

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I wish there was something I could do.

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You could light a candle for her soul.

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The church is always open.

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I think she'd like that.

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Padre...

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You're like a bad penny.

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I am the hospital chaplain.

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Course you are.

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A patient dies on the operating table.

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Nurse Fletcher announces there's something fishy

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and, a few hours later, she's murdered.

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Doris Garrity was a harmless old lady.

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To whom no-one claims acquaintance.

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I believe Nurse Honeywell knows more than she's letting on.

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In the meantime, let's keep out noses to the ground.

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Hello.

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I was sure I had tuppence

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and stealing from God is a frightful sin.

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Have this one on me.

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Thank you.

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I'm sorry about your friend.

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We were hardly that.

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I thought she was a rather silly girl

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and a terrible attention seeker.

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Which must make me a very wicked person.

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Or a refreshingly honest one.

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So, when Nurse Fletcher announced that Mrs Garrity was murdered...

0:22:110:22:16

I thought she was showing off to Dr Dish.

0:22:160:22:20

So...you paid no attention to her theory?

0:22:210:22:25

After all,

0:22:260:22:28

it's not as if any of you knew Mrs Garrity?

0:22:280:22:31

Exactly.

0:22:320:22:34

But...?

0:22:370:22:39

It was only when she was murdered

0:22:390:22:42

I remembered something about the evening Mrs Garrity was brought in.

0:22:420:22:45

Well, I never!

0:22:470:22:48

Mr and Mrs Weston.

0:22:480:22:50

I assumed it was the concussion, as none of us is called Weston.

0:22:520:22:57

I expect it's nothing.

0:22:570:22:59

You must think me very silly.

0:23:000:23:02

On the contrary.

0:23:040:23:06

I think you are a highly-intelligent young woman.

0:23:060:23:09

Father.

0:23:110:23:13

And there was I thinking you were in your study...

0:23:130:23:16

writing your homily.

0:23:160:23:18

Crikey. I'd better hop it or Matron will have my guts for garters.

0:23:180:23:21

You must be from St Luke's.

0:23:210:23:23

Although, I don't think I've seen you at mass.

0:23:230:23:25

Hardly.

0:23:250:23:27

I'm not a Catholic.

0:23:270:23:28

Nor anything else, for that matter.

0:23:280:23:31

Then, please, don't let me keep you.

0:23:310:23:33

Cast your mind back to last night...and dig deeper.

0:23:400:23:45

Mm...

0:23:460:23:48

And deeper...

0:23:480:23:50

Mm...

0:23:500:23:52

What do you call this again?

0:23:520:23:54

Transmemory meditation. It's all the rage in London.

0:23:540:23:56

Apparently, our brains process only a fraction of what we perceive.

0:23:580:24:01

Yours might. I have told you everything I remember.

0:24:010:24:04

One more time. The slightest detail may be important.

0:24:040:24:07

Mm...

0:24:090:24:11

She was breathless because she'd run across the quad.

0:24:160:24:20

Look at the state of you!

0:24:200:24:22

Well, what do you expect after running all the way across the quad?

0:24:220:24:25

She gave Nurse Honeywell a file.

0:24:270:24:30

Nurse Honeywell put the file in the desk.

0:24:310:24:33

So...

0:24:360:24:37

Doris Garrity...

0:24:370:24:41

dies on the table under the anaesthetic care of Dr Fairfax.

0:24:410:24:45

A recent arrival from St Thomas',

0:24:450:24:47

where he was the subject

0:24:470:24:49

of a GMC enquiry

0:24:490:24:53

for topping a patient.

0:24:530:24:56

Allegedly, sir. He was exoner...

0:24:560:24:58

Whoa! Train of thought, Sergeant.

0:24:580:25:00

And, coincidentally,

0:25:020:25:04

the same hospital where Nurse Fletcher

0:25:040:25:06

did her preliminary training.

0:25:060:25:08

Who, having deduced that Doris' death was dodgy,

0:25:080:25:11

was dumb enough to announce it to all and sundry

0:25:110:25:13

before being bumped off.

0:25:130:25:16

The single common denominator being...

0:25:160:25:18

Unless it's raffle tickets for the church roof, I'm not interested.

0:25:220:25:25

If it is raffle tickets for the church roof,

0:25:250:25:27

I'm still not interested!

0:25:270:25:29

I think the key is Mrs Garrity.

0:25:290:25:31

Everyone claims her to have been a stranger,

0:25:320:25:34

but Nurse Honeywell said she recognised someone

0:25:340:25:37

the night she was admitted.

0:25:370:25:39

-Who?

-She mentioned the name Weston.

0:25:390:25:42

I think, if you find the connection, you will also find the murderer.

0:25:420:25:46

Genius!

0:25:470:25:48

If only one of them was called Weston.

0:25:480:25:51

You think you've found your man?

0:25:530:25:55

I'm sure you've got your own work to do.

0:25:550:25:57

Souls to save, sinners to punish,

0:25:570:26:00

children to indoctrinate...

0:26:000:26:02

Adios, Padre!

0:26:020:26:03

Check to see if any of them have ever gone by the name Weston.

0:26:080:26:11

Nurse Honeywell. Could you step in here, please?

0:26:230:26:26

Yes, Matron.

0:26:260:26:27

You're seven minutes late.

0:26:350:26:37

I was at church, lighting a candle for Peggy.

0:26:370:26:39

I take that to mean you disbelieve me?

0:26:390:26:43

Dallying with a doctor, more like.

0:26:430:26:44

I know your type.

0:26:440:26:46

You don't know me, at all.

0:26:460:26:48

I've seen you sneaking out of the doctors' common room

0:26:480:26:51

-in the middle of the night.

-Which begs the question,

0:26:510:26:53

why you were out of bed wandering the hospital at that time.

0:26:530:26:57

What on earth are you are doing?

0:27:030:27:05

Ah! There you are, Mrs M.

0:27:050:27:07

It's not time to play hide and seek now.

0:27:070:27:11

She's been having these little episodes recently.

0:27:110:27:13

She's going a bit gaga.

0:27:130:27:14

Come along, Mrs McCarthy.

0:27:140:27:16

Let's get you back to bed.

0:27:160:27:18

We put it down to advancing age.

0:27:180:27:20

Oh!

0:27:200:27:22

HE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR

0:27:440:27:46

One minute, she were picking apples.

0:27:520:27:54

The next morning, she'd gone.

0:27:560:27:58

It were only a broken shoulder.

0:28:010:28:04

Not that I blame the hospital.

0:28:050:28:07

Quality care...

0:28:070:28:10

and didn't charge her a penny.

0:28:100:28:12

Mr Garrity, may I ask you,

0:28:130:28:15

do you recognise the names Mr and Mrs Weston?

0:28:150:28:19

She mentioned them?

0:28:210:28:23

I wonder what brought that back?

0:28:240:28:26

Wasn't their real names.

0:28:280:28:29

Just what Doris called them.

0:28:300:28:32

On account of the bank holiday.

0:28:320:28:34

The bank holiday?

0:28:340:28:36

1931.

0:28:360:28:38

Weston-super-Mare.

0:28:390:28:41

Wettest May Day for 25 years.

0:28:430:28:48

The wind blew us off the beach and into the town to look for our tea.

0:28:490:28:53

Doris wanted kippers from Lyons' Corner House,

0:28:550:28:58

which meant walking up by the town hall.

0:28:580:29:00

Then, this taxi drew up...

0:29:000:29:03

..and a young couple jumped out.

0:29:050:29:06

Asked us to witness their wedding.

0:29:080:29:11

Oh, Doris were chuffed to bits.

0:29:120:29:15

She thought it was so romantic.

0:29:160:29:18

The Westons...

0:29:200:29:21

Don't suppose you remember their real name?

0:29:230:29:26

Oh... No, it's such a long time ago.

0:29:270:29:30

They were a handsome couple.

0:29:310:29:34

I've got a photo somewhere.

0:29:340:29:37

-Would you like me to fetch the album?

-Yes, please.

0:29:370:29:40

And I'll put the kettle on.

0:29:400:29:42

There we are.

0:29:430:29:45

I'll fetch you a nice cup of tea

0:29:450:29:47

and there'll be no need for any more wandering around.

0:29:470:29:50

Gaga!

0:29:530:29:54

I'm very sorry. But it was the best I could think of on the spot.

0:29:540:29:57

That was the best you could think of?

0:29:570:29:58

Well, it got you out of a sticky situation.

0:29:580:30:00

A situation I would not be in, were it not for you!

0:30:000:30:03

So...did you find out what was in that file?

0:30:030:30:06

Yes. I did.

0:30:070:30:09

It was the linen count.

0:30:090:30:11

Linen count?

0:30:110:30:13

It means she was in the laundry room,

0:30:130:30:16

counting the linen.

0:30:160:30:17

Oh, I see.

0:30:170:30:19

So...if she ran across the quad,

0:30:190:30:22

that means that the laundry is that building there.

0:30:220:30:26

Weston-super-Mare, May, 1931.

0:30:280:30:31

That's us and the Westons outside the town hall.

0:30:320:30:35

Oh...

0:30:400:30:41

I see.

0:30:420:30:44

TELEPHONE RINGS

0:30:440:30:46

St Mary's Presbytery.

0:30:480:30:50

Alas, Mrs McCarthy, he's gone AWOL.

0:30:510:30:53

Well, he usually turns up in the end.

0:30:530:30:56

And when he does, could you please give him an urgent message?

0:30:560:30:59

Fire away.

0:30:590:31:01

Just tell him, I have important information for him about the murder

0:31:010:31:06

and I would like him to call into the hospital

0:31:060:31:08

at his earliest convenience.

0:31:080:31:10

I'll make sure he gets it.

0:31:100:31:12

Thank you. Goodbye, Mrs Steele.

0:31:120:31:15

Goodbye, Mrs McCarthy.

0:31:150:31:16

Drink this, Mrs McCarthy.

0:32:290:32:31

-What time is it, Nurse?

-Just after three.

0:32:340:32:36

Well, that's very early for my medication.

0:32:380:32:41

This is to make you sleepy before your operation.

0:32:410:32:43

But this morning, you said the swelling hadn't gone down enough.

0:32:440:32:48

It was decided that your operation would be brought forward a day.

0:32:480:32:51

Oh...

0:32:510:32:52

Father, thank goodness!

0:33:200:33:22

I think I know how Mrs Garrity was killed.

0:33:220:33:24

I think I know who and why.

0:33:240:33:26

Where is Mrs McCarthy?

0:33:350:33:37

She's been taken to theatre.

0:33:370:33:39

That's impossible.

0:33:390:33:41

She was told only this morning that her arm was still too swollen.

0:33:410:33:44

Quick!

0:33:440:33:45

Ready to go?

0:33:470:33:49

She's looking a little flat. I'm going to increase her oxygen.

0:33:490:33:52

She's not responding.

0:33:520:33:54

Not again? OK, nothing but oxygen this time.

0:33:540:33:57

-She's still not responding.

-Adrenaline.

0:33:590:34:02

There's no pulse.

0:34:150:34:17

-Turn off the oxygen!

-Are you insane? This woman's in respiratory arrest!

0:34:240:34:28

-I said, turn it off!

-All right, all right, have it your way.

0:34:280:34:30

Nobody move.

0:34:320:34:33

-She's breathing.

-Can someone tell me what the hell is happening here?

0:34:410:34:44

Nurse Fletcher found this gown

0:34:440:34:46

when she was doing the linen count. Black paint.

0:34:460:34:48

How could a sterile gown get smeared with paint

0:34:480:34:51

when it came from a sterile operating theatre?

0:34:510:34:54

She had a key. I think she was about to do this...

0:34:540:34:58

Carbon dioxide.

0:35:010:35:03

Poisoned air.

0:35:030:35:04

I think, with all this paint lying around,

0:35:040:35:06

that's how they got the idea.

0:35:060:35:08

-Are you saying that someone painted the carbon dioxide tank?

-Yes, I am.

0:35:080:35:11

And they put it where the oxygen should be.

0:35:110:35:13

Their only mistake was underestimating

0:35:130:35:15

-how long the paint would take to dry.

-Let me see that.

0:35:150:35:18

Now, hang on! This wasn't down to me.

0:35:240:35:26

No, it wasn't.

0:35:280:35:30

Doris Garrity was murdered

0:35:300:35:32

because she recognised somebody from her past.

0:35:320:35:34

Is that not the case, Sir Malcolm?

0:35:340:35:36

I don't know why you're looking at me?

0:35:380:35:40

A kind woman, who did a good deed.

0:35:400:35:41

Little did she know that witnessing a marriage

0:35:410:35:44

would also mean she was signing her future death sentence.

0:35:440:35:47

Well, I'd hardly call it a...proper marriage.

0:35:470:35:50

More a moment of adolescent rashness.

0:35:530:35:55

It was my first year in medical school

0:35:570:36:00

and Rita was a...Tiller Girl.

0:36:000:36:02

Six weeks later, it was all over.

0:36:040:36:06

But you didn't divorce her, did you?

0:36:060:36:08

When I married you and Lady Emma,

0:36:100:36:12

your entry in the register declares you to be a bachelor.

0:36:120:36:15

Emma's Catholic.

0:36:150:36:18

She couldn't marry a divorcee.

0:36:180:36:20

It was a harmless white lie.

0:36:220:36:24

Until Doris Garrity came back into your world.

0:36:240:36:28

She could have exposed you as a bigamist.

0:36:290:36:32

I did it to protect them.

0:36:320:36:33

I had no choice.

0:36:350:36:36

But you did have a choice, didn't you, Sir Malcolm?

0:36:380:36:40

You could have confessed your crime and asked for forgiveness.

0:36:420:36:45

And it is not too late to throw yourself on God's mercy.

0:36:450:36:49

No, no.

0:36:490:36:50

I'd rather take my own chances.

0:36:500:36:52

Now, this...

0:36:530:36:55

..is Pentothal.

0:36:560:36:57

It will stop your heart in 15 seconds.

0:36:580:37:01

Now, be a good girl

0:37:010:37:04

and come quietly.

0:37:040:37:05

Dr Fairfax is in theatre.

0:37:110:37:13

Then, we'll wait.

0:37:130:37:15

A discreet and speedy resolution

0:37:150:37:17

and Sir Malcolm's undying gratitude will nail the application.

0:37:170:37:20

Keep walking.

0:37:200:37:22

Urgh!

0:37:220:37:23

Arrest this man!

0:37:230:37:25

He murdered Mrs Garrity and Nurse Fletcher!

0:37:250:37:27

Quickly!

0:37:270:37:29

Sergeant...!

0:37:290:37:31

Malcolm Braithwaite, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murders

0:37:330:37:37

of Doris Garrity and Peggy Fletcher.

0:37:370:37:39

You are not obliged to say anything, unless you wish to do so,

0:37:390:37:42

but anything you say may be taken down and will be given in evidence.

0:37:420:37:46

KNOCKING

0:37:470:37:49

Enter.

0:37:490:37:50

You wanted to see me, Matron?

0:37:520:37:53

It seems you've found me out.

0:37:530:37:56

I noticed the side effects.

0:37:560:37:59

Mood swings, dizziness, blurred vision.

0:37:590:38:01

You seem very knowledgeable about the side effects of pethidine.

0:38:010:38:05

-I'm going to be a doctor.

-Don't be absurd!

0:38:050:38:07

I've applied to medical school.

0:38:070:38:09

And the reason I was in the doctors' common room

0:38:090:38:12

in the middle of the night

0:38:120:38:13

was I needed the textbook to swot for my entrance exam.

0:38:130:38:16

-I thought...

-My only interest in doctors is becoming one.

0:38:160:38:20

This is my letter of resignation.

0:38:220:38:25

I hope you'll spare me the indignity of giving a reason.

0:38:250:38:28

And I hope you'll reconsider.

0:38:280:38:30

But I'm a thief and a drug addict.

0:38:320:38:34

And I happen to believe that drug addiction is an illness,

0:38:340:38:38

which should be treated, not punished.

0:38:380:38:41

Dr Brittain is a consultant psychiatrist,

0:38:420:38:45

running a drugs rehabilitation programme.

0:38:450:38:48

You can be assured of the utmost discretion.

0:38:500:38:54

It seems I've misjudged you, Nurse.

0:39:000:39:02

You're not the first.

0:39:020:39:05

And I doubt you'll be the last.

0:39:050:39:07

Father, can I say something?

0:39:140:39:16

On the record.

0:39:170:39:18

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

0:39:310:39:33

It's been five days since my last confession.

0:39:350:39:38

And...

0:39:390:39:41

..it was all my fault.

0:39:430:39:44

Go on.

0:39:450:39:47

That ruddy car!

0:39:490:39:51

It was a surprise present from Monty, you see?

0:39:540:39:57

-I see.

-I was in such a rage,

0:40:000:40:02

I think part of me wanted to wrap his wretched guilt present

0:40:020:40:05

round a tree.

0:40:050:40:07

Mrs M was right. I was...driving recklessly fast.

0:40:070:40:11

God will forgive you.

0:40:120:40:13

It's not God's forgiveness I'm worried about.

0:40:130:40:16

She was taking a shepherd's pie to Glenda Pike.

0:40:170:40:20

Three miles on foot, because the bus doesn't go to Hambleston.

0:40:220:40:25

And that's Mrs M all over.

0:40:260:40:28

Always helping, never asking for thanks.

0:40:290:40:32

And it's my fault she's lying here!

0:40:330:40:36

I just want her to know how very sorry I am.

0:40:370:40:41

SHE SOBS

0:40:410:40:43

I think she does.

0:40:430:40:45

(Welcome back, Mrs M.)

0:40:470:40:49

Come in, come in.

0:40:540:40:55

Ah!

0:40:570:40:58

Oh, there was no need for this fuss.

0:41:000:41:02

Please, Mrs M, take a load off.

0:41:030:41:06

Sidney, thank you.

0:41:060:41:08

Oh, it's a cake.

0:41:100:41:11

-I made it myself.

-Yes, I can see that.

0:41:120:41:15

I think I may need to do some baking.

0:41:160:41:19

Only if you feel up to it.

0:41:190:41:21

Oh.

0:41:210:41:22

Are you still here?

0:41:250:41:27

For as long as I'm needed.

0:41:270:41:29

Well, now that my right-hand man has been returned to me...

0:41:310:41:35

that won't be necessary.

0:41:360:41:38

With respect, what good is a right-hand man lacking a right hand?

0:41:380:41:42

Ha-ha! She'll manage.

0:41:420:41:45

Or a parish secretary who cannot type.

0:41:450:41:48

So, until Mrs McCarthy is fully recovered,

0:41:480:41:51

a matter of some weeks, so I believe,

0:41:510:41:54

it's been agreed by the parish council that I will fill the breach.

0:41:540:41:57

Now, I have the newsletter to take to the printer,

0:41:570:42:01

so I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, Father.

0:42:010:42:04

Not so fast, Mrs Steele.

0:42:040:42:06

If all that's required is a right hand,

0:42:060:42:08

then mine is at Mrs McCarthy's disposal.

0:42:080:42:11

Naturally, my left is included, as well.

0:42:120:42:15

I hardly think her ladyship is qualified for the role.

0:42:150:42:18

Au contraire, Mrs Steele.

0:42:180:42:19

I spent two years behind an MoD desk during the war

0:42:190:42:23

and have 60 words a minute.

0:42:230:42:25

Not to mention shorthand. Isn't that right, milady?

0:42:250:42:29

Absolutely, shorthand.

0:42:290:42:31

So...Father Brown will no longer be requiring your assistance.

0:42:310:42:35

I shall let the parish council know in person.

0:42:350:42:37

I doubt there'll be any dissent.

0:42:370:42:39

Can I show you the door?

0:42:390:42:41

SHE PROTESTS

0:42:430:42:46

60 words per minute and shorthand?

0:42:460:42:49

Hardly.

0:42:490:42:51

I spent most of the time answering phones and organising soirees.

0:42:510:42:54

Actually, clouds of war, notwithstanding,

0:42:540:42:56

it was all rather a wheeze.

0:42:560:42:58

A pair of hands that can neither type nor do shorthand.

0:42:580:43:00

That's just marvellous(!)

0:43:000:43:02

I'm sure I can pick it up.

0:43:020:43:04

Only you could make such a ridiculous utterance.

0:43:040:43:07

I was trying to get you out of a hole.

0:43:070:43:08

Yes, a hole I am in because of you!

0:43:080:43:10

From now on, I suppose we'll be joined at the hip

0:43:110:43:13

for the foreseeable future.

0:43:130:43:15

-Well, that's gratitude for you.

-Mrs McCarthy...

0:43:150:43:18

Lady Felicia...

0:43:190:43:21

Welcome back!

0:43:210:43:23

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