Episode 2 From There to Here

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature.

-Any word on the bastards that did this?

-Police are saying IRA.

I'll give you a lift home. I think I used to live round here.

-Will your wife be wondering where you got to?

-I'm not married.

Got stuck on the M62.

You've bet ten grand that England

aren't going to mess up in a major tournament?

Have you ever wanted to be anybody else?

Somebody more exciting?

-Look, I'm sorry.

-What are you doing?!

-I don't know what I'm doing.

If England lose...I've got a back-up plan.

A second bomb.

IRA gets the blame, I get the compensation.

The place is ripe for private equity.

Robbo, I've found another way to get the money.

That thing we talked about, it's on.

HE GASPS

SIRENS

HUBBUB

SIREN

OK, come through.

CHATTER

-What's the news, mate?

-The Boo Club. Probably an improvement.

Anybody hurt? What's the ambulance for?

-You ask a lot of questions.

-I own it. I just need to know there was no bugger in there!

-Are you from Liverpool or something? Comedian?

-I own it!

-Come through, mate.

-Cheers.

-Sorry, pal. Here you go.

-All right.

I understand you were caught up in the Arndale explosion, too.

I'm never far from disaster, me. I'm like a dog round a barbecue.

You can't think of a reason why anybody would target your club?

No. No, Not really. Look, have they found anybody in there? Anybody hurt?

The back fire exit was broken open, front door was locked.

Was there any other way in or out?

No. So, what? Kids, then? Somebody trying to rob the place?

Did you have any ongoing disputes with other clubs, doormen, dealers?

Well, I always try and keep the place,

you know, drugs free and that.

But why? What have you heard? Should I be looking over my shoulder?

We had a call tipping us off. Said it was the IRA.

IRA?!

What would the IRA want to blow me up for?

MUSIC: "Live Forever" by Oasis

HORN BEEPS

-I've finally worked out what I want.

-Yeah?

Yeah.

-Do you have to go?

-Three days this time, tops.

It's a big payer this one.

Right, I'll be back for your due day

with a wad thick enough to choke a donkey.

You'd better be. I still don't know how you do it,

living out of a suitcase all the time?

-I've been doing it so long it's second nature. And it's a holdall not a suitcase.

-Ohh.

The thing is, I know...

I'm always going to be coming back here to you,

which makes it a whole lot easier.

-You make sure you keep that mobile on.

-Course I will.

And anything happens, you call me.

Don't matter where I am. I'll even do a U-turn on the M5 if I have to.

I know.

Mmm!

-See ya.

-See ya.

-Bye, love.

-Bye.

There's a plan in action and I know what I am doing.

Well, if it's such a great plan, why are you doing it behind Dad's back?

I'm not. We talked about it, he agreed.

-I don't believe ya.

-Ask him!

You have no right! There are more important things at stake here.

Tradition, livelihoods, sense of community.

I am trying to save this place.

Why do you think people buy sweets?

Because it makes them happy.

That's it. Your entire life was funded by this idea.

And these sticky sweets that you wouldn't even give to your own kids,

this cathedral of teeth rot,

made you rich enough to afford the luxury of guilt.

Oh, when did you become so patronising?

About the same time you became so pious.

I know how to save this place, do you?

What's your plan? What is it, eh?

To trust Dad to find a way of turning it around. Hm? To trust Dad!

Two women, two families, another baby on the way and they don't know about each other.

Yep, I would say that was pretty out of hand.

Well, at least I didn't bomb my own club

and nearly kill my brother into the bloody bargain.

All right, number one -

you'd already done a runner when the place went up,

else you wouldn't be standing here right now spouting shite.

Number two - do you really want me to open this up?

Do you really want me to explain to you why what you're doing

is so much worse than an insurance scam?

I'm going to put it right, OK, just not yet.

A few years back, right, when I started going to the Calypso Cafe

for me breakfast...I got trapped by a lie just like yours.

-The Calypso Cafe?!

-Yeah.

Me and Ali the owner got gabbing one day, right?

And I'm just trying to be friendly, like,

and he starts going on about cricket and I go along with it.

So from then on, I have to pretend that I'm interested in cricket

or not go in there for me breakfast any more.

I'd be lying awake at night thinking about Shane Warne's bowling figures.

I don't think this is quite the same as my situation.

I was pretending to be something I wasn't

for the sake of a fry-up. I mean, I was going mad with it.

I don't know how you do it.

Charlie's got me flying round Europe promoting the brand.

I'm away a lot. I come back a day early, nobody checks. I see Joanne.

As far as she's concerned, I'm always working away a lot...

Haven't you been listening?

I don't mean I don't know how you do it.

I mean I don't know how you do it.

Square it with yourself...

in here.

Ever since that Saturday, the Arndale bomb,

it just feels like one life isn't enough.

Everybody thinks that. What do you think drugs are for?

-Robbo?

-Yeah.

Stapleton. How are you doing?

We spoke on the phone.

-I'm your new head of security.

-Oh, yeah, right. Right.

Remind me, what happened to the old head of security?

You didn't hear?

He got bad with his nerves.

So... STAPLETON LAUGHS

..the compensation paid up for all this, did they?

Yeah, that's right. Nobody wants to be letting down victims of terrorism, do they?

Victims of terrorism?

Yeah, that's right(!)

So...shall we talk about how I work?

-Yeah, sure.

-PHONE RINGS

Oh.

You carry on.

Yeah?

No, I'm in the car.

I'm near the factory. OK, I'll see you shortly.

MUSIC: "Rollin' Danny" by The Fall

Oh. You're early.

Yeah, I forgot some figures.

Don't know why I need 'em, I don't even understand 'em.

Well, look, I can't hang about.

I've got another leaflet drop

and then I'm going to work the phones till the polls close.

-See you later.

-Right, I'll see you at the town hall.

I thought you'd be driving pensioners to polling booths this morning.

-What?

-Your Louise. I was knocking on doors last night,

-I think she might do OK.

-Are they up there already?

Full board meeting. All looks very serious.

What have you done wrong this time?

The Manchester master plan

is committed to rebuilding the city centre within the next ten years.

-Hello.

-Sorry I'm late...

gents.

The Government are relying on the private sector to make this happen

and I think we are ideally positioned

to facilitate a private finance initiative.

The council...have agreed

to process all major planning applications within eight weeks.

-Yes?

-Sorry, has this got anything to do with sweets?

-This is the investment arm of the business.

-We have an investment arm now?!

-Daniel, for God's sake!

-Cos when I'm flying to the back of beyond every week,

I'm flogging penny chews and sherbet dib dabs.

-Did I miss something here?

-I'll tell you what this has got to do with sweets,

Charlie's refinanced the business, didn't he? Turned us around.

Without Charlie there would be no sweets made here any more

and you wouldn't be flying anywhere.

You might want to think about that.

The confectionery side of the business is very healthy.

We free up some of our capital funds

to cash flow the reconstruction projects.

The investment gives us long-term security.

We generate money, jobs, value, ensure our future.

-We can read into the future now, too(?)

-Oh, come on!

At some stage, we'll renegotiate the terms

and generate an income stream there, too.

All right, all right, I give in.

Where do I sign?

PHONE RINGS

-Sorry, I'm going to have to take this.

-Really?

-Yes, really.

Sorry, guys. He's erm...he's jet-lagged.

LOUD SIGH

ENGINE STARTS

He's gone!

-Hey!

-Where the hell have you been?!

-I was halfway to bloody Cornwall! How is she?

-She'll be doing better when she sees your ugly mug.

-Can I go now?

-Yeah, go on, clear off. I'll call you when 'owt happens.

-Thanks for waiting for me.

-I waited for her, not for you.

-Are you coming in?

-She's giving birth and she's me mum.

Yeah.

SHE MOANS SOFTLY

-Hey.

-Ah!

-HE LAUGHS

-Mm!

-Right, I've brought...sandwiches...

-SHE SIGHS

..juice, TENS machine,

a CD of whale song.

-Oh and...morphine.

-I need

-you

-now.

-I know.

-I'm going to need more of you now.

From now on.

It's the job, you know, it...takes me all over.

-I never know where I'm going to be.

-I want you

to try and find a new job!

-One where you're not away all the time or...

-Or what?

I don't want you to be with me because you feel trapped.

I'm not interested in that.

I know how that works and it's a dead end.

-How does this work?

-By distracting me from the contractions.

But you know what? We keep arguing like this, I won't feel a thing.

You're so frustrating! You're like a walking epidural!

Hey. All you need to know, right,

all you need to know is that I love you.

-SHE GROANS

-That's what Ryan's dad said when he were born.

-"I love you."

-HE LAUGHS

It's what men say when they see a woman give birth.

Well, you've got me, right.

-All of me.

-SHE SOBS

SHE GROANS AND SOBS

-Is everyone all right?

-Great!

-JOANNE GASPS

JOANNE SOBS

ALARM

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

'193 majority forecast for Labour.

'We've have got enough results in to be pretty certain

'that it's going to be a landslide for Mr Blair.

'Up and down the country, the votes are now in.

'It will be a matter of hours until we have the final results,

'but we can make some very confident predictions.'

-WOMAN:

-Good luck, Louise.

-Thank you. We should know in a couple of hours.

You won't believe this, you're neck and neck with the Tories.

No chance! Stop winding me up. We need a 1,000% swing.

No, I'm telling ya. Look! Look at the look on his face.

He looks like someone's told him his kids are going to state school.

Now, now, we don't play the class-envy card any more.

Besides, Louise went private for secondary. Stockport Grammar.

Oh, did ya? So that's where you were? I always thought you were truanting.

-Shut up.

-Oh, Jesus!

-What?

-The Tories have just lost Torbay.

-No!

-'..Succeeded their wildest dreams

'in terms of the kind of majority that Labour's going to get. 183 we're talking about...'

This is going to be a landslide! Even David Dimbleby says so.

What are you going to do if you actually win?

-Demand a recount!

-I tell you what, you better get ready to get that season ticket,

you're going to Westminster. Hey, Peter.

-Peter, you're going to have to be a house husband.

-What?

Where the bloody hell is your dad?!

-I've left him 20 messages!

-He'll be on his way. Peter.

Do you feel like pushing, Joanne? SHE MOANS

Right, when there's the next contraction...push.

Push, Joanne! There's a good girl!

-You're doing great, love. You're doing brilliantly.

-Argh!

Just come up with something more original than that!

-Low blood sugar, exhaustion.

-None of the above.

-Now fuck you two!

-Hey! Hey!

-SHE MOANS

-Enough of the flannel!

-All right!

Good girl, Joanne. Nearly there now.

Like shelling peas.

PHONE RINGS

Oh...fucking phone!

Ow! I'm sorry!

-It's a bit late for that!

-Argh!

SHE SOBS

Your daughter's about to make history!

Where are you love? Come on, call me back!

BOTH GROAN

Good girl. That's it.

CHEERING

Francombe, Alice Jane, Liberal Democrat Party, 4,170.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Pearson, Louise Mary, Labour Party,

18,762.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wilkinson, Keith David, Conservative Party,

12,000...

WILD CHEERING

I hereby declare Louise Mary Pearson...

CHEERING DROWNS OUT ANNOUNCEMENT

Go on, Louise! Yes!

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

-LOUISE LAUGHS

-Thank you.

'Tonight is a historic evening

'for the constituents of north-east Cheshire and this country.

'I am deeply, deeply grateful to everyone who worked so tirelessly

'to help me with my campaign, particularly my mother...'

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-'Thank you, Mum.

'..my husband Peter and the rest of my family.

'I am extremely proud to be your member of parliament.'

And I assure you, this is the beginning of a new era in British politics

and a new era for this country.

Thank you for helping me be part of that. Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We did it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

How are you feeling, love?

Oh.

For a woman in paper pants, not bad at all.

HE CHUCKLES

I've had an idea about her name.

Well, you've got a Lee and a Ryan,

-so...we'll have to call her Eric...after Cantona.

-JOANNE LAUGHS

Scarlet.

Yeah?

Do you get it?

That way she'll always be a red.

Scarlet.

I like Scarlet.

I'd love for your kids to meet her one day.

-They will, one day.

-Yeah?

That's the problem with having kids

that grow up and move halfway round the world.

Whereabouts are they, then?

-Canada.

-Really?

I've still got relatives in Canada. Whereabouts?

Er...just outside Toronto.

Really? I know Toronto.

Really?

So whereabouts? BABY CRIES

-Oh.

-Oh!

-Are you ready to try feeding her again?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Yeah.

It'll come back to you the moment she latches on.

-So...?

-Do you want a cup of tea?

-Yes, please!

-Yeah.

-Everything all right on the door, yeah?

-Aye, sweet.

No drugs, no guns, no bollocks.

No terrorists either, as far as I could tell.

Great.

You're not laughing.

Well, it's just not that funny, is it?

Sorry. I was forgetting you were a victim of terrorism.

So you think this is good news for the peace process? All this?

What? You're talking to a bloke who doesn't get further than the sports pages, mate.

Really? With you being a victim of terrorism and all that,

I thought you might take a special interest in a negotiated settlement.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah, do you know what? Sorry, mate.

-ROBBO LAUGHS

-There's something about you that doesn't do it for me,

so...I'll pay you to the end of the month.

Really?

-That's unfortunate.

-Yeah, well, que sera sera.

As you used to sing in the Stretford End.

-ROBBO LAUGHS

-You see...it's that that winds me up.

Like there's a joke you're in on and I'm not.

What if I was to explain to you why I am the right man for the job,

despite my sense of humour?

MUSIC: "Even The Stars" by I Am Kloot

# Did you crack the sky wide open

# To find what was inside?

PHONE RINGS # Is it not what you were hoping? #

-'Hello, you've reached Claire Cotton. Please leave a message.'

-BEEP

Hiya. It's me.

I'm coming home.

I've got something to tell you.

Something important.

# ..Did you cross the bridgeless gulf of chatter

# Did you say

# Just one thing that mattered?

-# Did you skate... #

-Oh, shit!

# ..on the cold water of reason? #

CHATTER

-HE SIGHS

-Hey!

It's unbelievable! Your daughter's an MP! Our little girl!

-Can you believe it?

-I know. I only just heard. It's stunning!

-You look exhausted. Have you been driving all night?

-Yeah, pretty much.

What was that message you wanted to tell me?

Oh, just that I'm sorry I missed everything and that...

I'd be home soon, you know.

CHEERING

-Glad to see you're still a loyalist then, Dad.

-A drink's a drink.

-DANIEL LAUGHS

-Hey!

-Hi!

-Not bad, eh? Not bloody bad!

Unbelievable! Couldn't have done it without you.

-What did I do? I'm never here.

-You moaned at the telly so much every time Thatcher was on,

-I thought getting active was the only way to shut you up.

-HE LAUGHS

I am very, very proud of you.

Where have you been? You smell of something.

-I've been in the car all night so whatever it is it can't be good.

-No, it's like disinfectant.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-SHE SNIFFS

I know what it is, it's baby wipes. Yeah.

-Baby wipes?!

-Yeah, that's it.

-Where are you getting that from?

-Smile!

-SHE LAUGHS

Father and daughter finally coming over to the dark side.

What are you going on about? What's he going on about?

He reckons the Labour Party is the party of business.

Hey, he's not wrong.

We're all Tories now.

I wanted that to be the strapline on her posters but she demurred.

Demurred? My God! That's a good word for a man who's been drinking all night.

I'm the most articulate drunk in the room. It's one of my gifts.

-Drunk in a what?

-Here you are.

-Hey.

-This is great news for the business.

-Why didn't you return any of my calls?

-My battery was dead.

Sorry, I'm confused, I thought they were the enemy of enterprise.

-..I left a message.

-I'm here now, aren't I?

-I've got that paperwork in the car for you to sign.

-Come on. Time and place, son.

Come on, you lot, press want a photo.

Guy's just setting up over in the corner.

-No, you don't want my old face on it.

-No, no, no! He's insistent.

-Get Peter and the kids rounded up, too.

-That's what they want, they want the four of you.

No, Dad, they want all the generations.

-Why are you being so modest?

-Yes!

-HUBBUB

-I look like shit!

-You really don't.

-Come on.

-I don't want my fucking photo taken!

All right?!

I just don't.

Maybe a smaller family group would be good after all.

-Come on, guys. LOUISE:

-Will you be in it, Grandad?

Of course I'll be in it.

-PHOTOGRAPHER:

-You might want to lose the rosette.

I'm sorry.

RUMBLING

PHONE RINGS

HE GROANS

Daniel...we've got a problem.

You need to get down here now.

'OK, I'm on my way.'

-LOUISE:

-So what do we do now?

I am so proud of you.

It's from that film. You know, Robert Redford, The Candidate, when he gets elected.

Mum, I'm 27, I've got two small kids.

The only reason I said I'd stand is because I was told I couldn't win.

So what?

-Peter can look after the kids.

-Exactly.

You're tough...like me.

Politics are neither here nor there,

we're two sides of the same coin you and me. LOUISE LAUGHS

You did something special and we celebrate.

And make sure that the good stuff is what we remember.

Who was that?

-Your dad.

-Going where?!

God knows.

-Work?

-At this time? He's not usually this keen.

You must have inspired him.

Yeah, what was that tantrum about the photograph?

No, come on, this is your day,

you don't want to be talking about us.

The first bomb, the call was made to Granada.

They passed it to the police, the police to Special Branch.

The second bomb, your bomb,

direct call to the police in Manchester.

-Our bomber used the right code word.

-Half the bouncers in Manchester know the right code word.

I don't know that any of this is exactly proof.

I know who planted the first bomb.

And I know they didn't plant the second.

-Maybe it was a splinter group.

-Who never claimed responsibility?

If you're a splinter group the only reason you plant a bomb

is so that you can say afterwards, "That was us.

"We've arrived. We're Bertie Big Bollocks."

There aren't many people can make a bomb, you know.

Even fewer in Manchester.

I know those people.

If they made something for you, it won't be hard for me to find out.

-I'm saying that your bomb...was

-your

-bomb.

What is it you want?

Half the club. Half the takings.

-ROBBO LAUGHS

-Yeah, that's going to happen.

With all due respect, I was talking to Noel not Liam.

Come on, use your napper,

nobody loses by believing it's terrorism. Nobody.

What we have here is a private finance initiative.

A what?

We don't want any dealing in the club. You run the door,

what money you make, what deals you cut, that's for your benefit.

Our benefit...is that the drug deals don't happen in the club.

So opportunity knocks.

You don't want me messing up your life.

If you knew what my life was like,

you would realise that that isn't really much of a threat.

DANIEL SIGHS

DOOR CLOSES

Well, a thank you might be nice.

I'm surprised you didn't try and shag him,

it's what you normally do when you're in a corner.

-It's sorted! What's the matter with you?

-You've given him the door!

I've given him the drug market, not the takings!

The drugs market is the takings, you dumb tosser!

-What about the no-drugs policy?

-Oh, it's just a catch phrase!

You know, "Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime."

-It doesn't actually

-mean

-anything!

It's my club, all right? Mine!

-OK.

-I've been a sidekick all me life, not here.

-I said, OK!

Congratulations...by the way.

If that's the right word.

So where were you? She's been ready to go for an hour.

-I was stuck in traffic.

-She needs you looking after her and my baby sister.

Ryan, you have made that perfectly clear.

Or not. We can manage, you know.

If you want to do a disappearing act, we managed before.

We've got form on raising ourselves without a dickhead dad.

I am going to be around a lot more from now on.

I promise.

Are you even listening to me?

RYAN SIGHS

-Who was that baby with Grandad?

-What baby?

-That baby just then?

-Grandad isn't here, silly sausage. Grandad's at work.

-Darling?

-Darling, the press.

-Oh. Right, picture time. Ready?

-Say cheese. One, two, three.

-ALL: Cheese!

Don't say a word.

Just let me sign it.

DANIEL CLEARS HIS THROAT

I still don't know what this has to do with sweets.

We're going to be in a consortium

with a construction company and a service provider.

Oh, right. Good. Your thing not mine.

We'll take on subcontractors to deliver,

but we can have shares in the subcontractors too.

-That's the beauty of it.

-Beauty?

Oh, it's certainly a beauty.

Right, is that it? Cos I've got a lot to do today.

No, that's it. Thank you for your contribution.

Great!

Does this mean that I won't have to sit through any more meetings

being patronised by my own son?

No bugger's patronising you, he's making your fortune here.

-Our fortune.

-Grandad gets it.

Is it Louise getting elected? Is that what's bothering you?

That you need to get noticed. I'm noticing you, Charlie, all right?

-I can hardly miss ya.

-Daniel, the lad's got ambition for all of us.

There...it's signed.

SAMUEL: Oi. Oi!

Touchy Jim.

You want me to tell Charlie how brilliant he is?

I think you're doing more than enough of that for both of us, don't you?

This isn't about Charlie, this is about you.

I know you, whether you like it or not.

And I know that the way you are these days...

..there's something inside your head and it's driving you mad.

Now, I don't want to know what it is,

but I do know that you've either got to kill it or to cure it.

Now. Right now.

I'm sorry about last night,

I was just knackered.

I was overwhelmed, really.

So tonight...

..let's just celebrate.

Let's celebrate our lovely daughter.

What is this?

Well, it's not cheap "Spew-manti" if that's what you're worried about.

No, what is this - you?

Is it like when you got depressed when the dog got put down or

is it like when the kids left home and you lay on the sofa for a month?

Or is it like when you wouldn't talk about your mum dying?

When you used to lock yourself in the bathroom

and we could hear you crying, but all had to pretend that we couldn't.

W-What...? What are you bringing all this up for?

I've told you. I was knackered.

I need to know how bad it is.

How bad what is?

What's happening.

To you.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

There's no great...

The truth is...

The truth is...

..there's no revelation.

It's lots of things.

Not good enough.

Nowhere near good enough.

Your phone message, "I've got something important to tell you."

-What did that mean?

-It started with the bomb.

What did?

Dad got all...

I don't know, open-minded,

Charlie seems to be taking over,

Robbo's got the club up and running

and, I don't know, even Louise - she wasn't even there

and now she's a bloody MP!

And I suppose I'm feeling a bit jealous.

I'm thinking "What about me? Where's my moment?"

What ABOUT you?

I know it's not a good thing, Claire.

I'm as surprised as anyone.

I just feel like such a nobody.

Is that right? Oh, and what about ME? What am I?

Wife of a nobody?

No, it's different for you. I mean, you've got Citizens Advice.

You got Louise's election stuff. You've got the garden.

I've got the garden?

Did you really just say that?

I've got the garden?! What about Bikini Workout?

And you forgot book club!

Six menopausal women crying over Captain Corelli!

I've got the fucking garden!

I didn't mean it like that.

What is it that you expect to be happening?

What is it you think you're missing out on?

Cos it's the same for everybody.

It's called getting old and feeling useless.

SHE SIGHS HEAVILY

Make yourself useful and get over it.

We have a life

that nobody sees.

And we have a life that everybody sees.

And sometimes...

..I can't tell which is which.

The only thing that I can be certain of...

..the only thing that I can trust...

..is that I love you.

That's what I wanted to tell you when I rang last night.

That I love you.

It isn't deep, you know.

What isn't?

What you're doing. How you're behaving.

It isn't deep.

It's just a bit shit.

Well, where did that come from?

'Somewhere dark and dangerous.'

And that's what you said to her?

No. I can't think what I said.

I didn't say anything.

Why not? Stick to what you're good at.

I thought you were the strong one. I was the fuck-up.

I'm loving two families. I'm supporting two families.

Isn't that strong enough for you?

I was that close to telling them both.

I never dreamt Louise would actually get elected.

I don't want her dragged into this.

She'll manage. The baby, though.

Don't make her life any harder than it already is.

You know what it's like to grow up

with a big question mark on your back.

I never felt like that.

Didn't you?

I did.

And I wasn't even the adopted one.

I'll tell them. All right?

I just need to find the right moment.

MUSIC: "Insomnia" by Faithless

# I can't get no... #

All right. Shouldn't you be changing nappies?

Hey, Daniel?

Mate, do you know who that guy is?

Sorry, mate. Don't know who you mean.

That old bloke who was just going out as I was coming in.

Is his name Daniel?

I don't keep a register.

He's my mum's fella. He's just blanked me.

Sorry, mate, I don't know what to say to that. I don't know him.

You don't know where I can score, do you?

Try Old Trafford.

But you'll need to get on the end of a good cross from Giggsy.

MUSIC BOX TINKLES

(She's beautiful.)

BABY GURGLES

(Night-night, gorgeous.)

KEY TURNS IN LOCK

Don't slam the door, love. We just got her down.

-OK.

-OK.

MUSIC: "The Only One I Know" by The Charlatans

HE LAUGHS

# The only one I know

# Has come to take me away

# The only one I know

# Is mine when she stitches me

# The only one I see

# Has found an aching in me

# The only one I see

# Has turned her tongue into me

# Everyone

# Has been burned before... #

-Did you remember the Calpol?

-Yeah. I got the sugar-free one.

I think she might be teething.

I thought you said it was her three-month vaccinations.

-Her cheeks are red.

-Did she have a temperature?

-No.

Did you use that daft thermometer that you strap to her head.

No. Normal one. Under her arm. Hurry up!

I think I found a child minder for when I go back to work.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Going to swap two days a week with Lucy from the playgroup.

-Oh, great.

-You or the boys are going to have to cover Monday mornings.

Do you think we could stop multi-tasking for a minute?

Oh, now I know you're concentrating.

It's the best you're going to get.

HE SIGHS

SHE MOANS

HE SIGHS AND LAUGHS

That was nice.

Yeah.

I could sleep forever.

Me too.

I've got 20 quid says he's forgotten.

Hang on, Louise. He's not forgotten. I'll take that bet.

Why would he remember?

Listen. I'll e-mail you the rest of the figures.

He can't remember what day it is half the time.

Louise, I'll e-mail you the rest of the figures.

There's not really anything there you can use...I don't think. No.

Well, I don't think anybody listens

after the first stats anyway, do they?

"Daddy wants Blue Velvet". Sorry, Dad, do you want a cup of tea?

Told you.

Samuel can't eat. Nil by mouth.

-It's his check-up today.

-Oh, yeah. Of course. When are you going?

20 quid you owe me.

You're taking him. You promised.

We talked about this.

I'll call you a taxi, Dad.

No. The last time he went on by himself, he panicked

and did a runner before they could even get a monitor on him.

It's those questionnaires. They're hard work.

Are you gay? Are you black? Are you disabled?

It's a hospital not a council house waiting list.

What if I do it next time?

No chance. I'm needed at the office.

Louise is making her maiden speech on Monday.

You've got a grown-up daughter. She's called Louise.

She got elected to a big building called the House of Commons.

Good luck!

Aye.

Aye!

What time's your appointment?

10.30. But don't worry, don't worry.

If you're really lucky, I might die before then.

How far away are you? I can't be late again.

Ryan can't do it. He's got a job interview.

I have to leave at 12.

He can give you till 12.

But you'd better get here by then.

-Thanks, love.

-It's all right.

-Thank you.

-It's OK.

All right, babe. OK.

Come on.

See that skyline?

Our Charlie's got money in that. We all have.

He's funding the sky now, is he? How does that work then?

Leaseback from God?

Listen, your son's making millions.

He's even inventing new ways of making money.

You've got a daughter who's an MP...

for New Labour, admittedly, but still, it's an achievement of sorts.

Your dad's in business with you. And a wife who loves you.

And yet you still walk round all day with a face like a smacked arse.

Yeah, well, I've got a lot on my plate right now.

My dad died in a pub cellar...

trying to move barrels that the drayman had

-left in the wrong place.

-Grandad was an alcoholic with a pub,

I don't think the barrels had too much to do with it.

Yeah, I know, but I lost him aged 54. He went just like that.

54.

He annoyed the living daylights out of me

but I miss the aggravation every day.

And your point is?

The point is...

when I'm not around to annoy you any more,

then you'll miss me.

It's good.

But don't expect a call from Thought Of The Day any time soon, eh?

That's me.

If you could just take a seat, we'll call you through when it's time.

-And if you could you fill in this form while you're waiting.

-Oh.

Well, I can promise you I've not changed race or sexual preference

since last time.

I'm a tiny bit more crippled but not parking space crippled.

It's just a requirement.

See. I can handle this by myself.

I don't think this is the hard bit.

You don't want to be hanging around here all day, do you?

Not unless you have to. Like you say, you're a busy man.

All day? Nobody said anything about all day.

Have you seen the tests they have to do?

I'm telling you, pick me up in three hours or so.

I won't tell if you won't.

And you promise you're not going to do a runner the moment I walk through that door?

OK, if you're sure.

Ryan?

Keep it down. I've just got her off.

Is that what you're wearing to your interview?

What's the job? Scarecrow?

-The interview's tomorrow. Mum got it wrong.

-What?

Oh, bloody hell. I thought there was some sort of emergency.

There is. You'd better sit down.

We've got some serious stuff to talk about.

I haven't got time for this.

I really need to be somewhere else.

Are you going to pretend you don't know me again?

It's a bit harder to do in my own house, isn't it?

In your own house. If it is your own house, like.

OK.

PHONE RINGS

OK. Daniel. You got me.

I lied.

I want you here.

Please.

Swear on your baby's life that it wasn't you.

Don't be stupid.

I think he's acting like a guilty man.

What do you think, Lee?

Yeah. Guilty.

It was you in the club, wasn't it?

Yes.

So what were you doing there? And why blank me?

You don't need to know.

I think I do. I think Mum does.

I'm good for your mum.

I'm a good dad to Scarlet.

I might even be good for you if you'd let me.

Nothing else matters.

Why did you blank me?

You can either tell me or you can tell Mum.

What makes you think she'll believe you?

I'll get Lee to tell her.

She always says he's the only honest man she knows.

That's why he don't have a girlfriend.

I have got a girlfriend.

Oh, yeah? Lorraine Kelly returned your call, did she?

The reason I blanked you...

is because I don't want you in that part of my life.

Because I love you.

Because I'm protecting you.

From what?

From the dealers and the low-lifes that I have to deal with.

Who are you? Batman?

Low-lifes.

It's drugs.

-I don't like drugs.

-What drugs?

I've got a drugs problem.

I've had it a long time.

And the club is where I go to...

..score.

What? Drugs? What sort of drugs? What are you talking about?

You're no druggy.

It's coke. I do a bit of coke.

I smoke a bit of weed. It just helps.

It helps take the edge off. Nothing terrible.

Obviously I'm not some strung-out junkie. But it helps.

And that's why I blanked you.

Because I didn't want anyone in that place to know that you know me.

-Does Mum know?

-No. She doesn't.

-Are you going to tell her?

-That's your job.

Yes, I know.

And I'll stop.

I knew there was something sideways with you.

I always knew there was something you were hiding.

Now you know.

But right now, I really need to get back to work.

So I'll see you.

Do you believe him?

I don't know.

Thing is, if he's lying about the drugs, how much worse is the truth?

He could be a paedo.

He's not a paedo, you knob-head.

HORN BLARES

Give me a break!

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Is that you, Daniel?

Can you come back to the hospital?

Is that you, Daniel?

'The hospital?'

Mr Cotton.

Hello?

'Is there anybody there?'

Who is this?

-No phones, please.

-Oh.

-Come with me.

Hello. Samuel Cotton, my father, was in here.

Mr Cotton.

Excellent, thank you.

Oh, you've come back, have you? Well, you needn't have bothered.

I feel fine. Fit as a butcher's dog.

You know, I don't think cottage cheese is worth

all the trouble actually.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah. Yeah.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, sorry. I thought I'd switched it off.

Hello?

Who was it?

You, according to this bloody thing. You must be sitting on it.

We're ready, Mr Cotton.

Right.

We're just going to turn you up a notch, Samuel.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

BEEPING

-MUTTERING:

-Come on.

HE GROANS

-Daniel?

-What's happened to him?

-What's happening?

-He's asystolic!

-Can you hear me?

-Daniel, what's happened? What's happening?

-What's wrong?

-Get the crash kit over here, now.

How do you turn it off?

Hey. Hey, how do you turn this bloody thing off?

Oh, no. No, stop, stop. Whoa.

He's just there.

How is he?

Erm...he had heart attack.

But they think he's going to be OK.

Sorry I gave you a hard time, mate.

I'm Ryan, by the way. I reckon you must be his dad, yeah?

Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

We talked before, by accident. I had his phone.

Oh, right.

Erm...do you...? Er...are you...? Do you work for Daniel?

Do you work for me?

Work for him? No. Bloody hell. I wouldn't work for him. No.

He goes out with my mum.

They've just had a baby together, my little sister - Scarlet.

He has told you? You do know this?

Dad. How is he? What's happening?

He's stable...

medically speaking.

Who the fuck is this?

I'm his son - Charlie. Who the fuck are you?

All right. All right. There's been a bit of a mix-up, Charlie.

I mean, this kid's all over the place. He just wandered in...

No, no, no, no. He's in the right place.

It's Ryan, isn't it?

Can somebody tell me what's going on?

Cardiac ward, please?

Lift up to the third floor, follow the signs.

LIFT: 'Stand clear of the doors.'

-Excuse me.

-Hiya.

-I'm looking for Mr Daniel Cotton.

He was admitted through A&E.

I still don't understand. He can't have been living with you.

He was living at home. With his family.

His other family. He was away a lot. He said it was with work.

You don't believe this, do you? He's making it up.

He's not making it up.

-Oh, well, I knew you'd have something to do with it.

-Me?

It was me that was telling him to come clean!

What's going on? Is he going to be all right?

Ryan? What's happening. How is he?

Oh, God!

Who ARE you?

His wife. Who are you?

Daniel. Wake up!

I thought the nurse said he wasn't to have any sudden shocks.

Yeah, well, it's a bit bloody late for that, ain't it?

It's time to stop pretending.

Wake up!

MUSIC: "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" by The Smiths

# Stop me, oh-oh-ho, stop me

# Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

# Stop me, oh-oh-ho, stop me

# Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

# Nothing's changed

# I still love you

# Oh, I still love you

# Only slightly Only slightly less

# Than I used to

# My love. #