When Sacha Met Chrissie Holby City

IV of morphine and I have booked a CT scan for the abdo.

Hang on, hang on. Morphine? But she could have taken anything.

Missing patients, missed bloods.

Everything's falling apart around you.

-If I'm so rubbish, you take care of everything.

-OK, fine.

Don't worry about it. Hey, hey.

I've got your back, OK?

Chrissie sent your flowers back. Guess she doesn't do irony.

Woman trouble.

THEY GASP AND LAUGH

I need to know what you've taken. Opiates go missing.

You're acting really spaced out.

-Excuse me for being suspicious.

-Wow, wow.

The paranoia has finally got to you.

So, we're still getting married?

That banner thing was lovely but the wedding has to be small.

Your wish, my command.

Oh, good. This is good.

So, why did you decide to get married?

Oh, wow! That's a great question.

Why did we decide to get married?

Darling, do you want to take this one?

-Well, it was just a spontaneous thing, really.

-You should... Sorry.

You should know, for the record, that she actually proposed to me.

Technically.

She couldn't bear me referring to her as my "girlfriend"

or "partner" one more time, so...

So, I said "How about 'Wife'?"

Well, I said, "Of course!"

And then we were engaged, for, for...how long?

About four months.

Yeah, about four months.

Until last week when we suddenly thought, you know,

"What the hell are we waiting for?"

Didn't we? And I phoned you.

And you said you had a free slot.

So, here we both are!

Is this for real?

Yeah. Think of it as a mentoring scheme.

How am I supposed to do my job?

Same as before, except from now,

whenever you sign a drug out from the DDA cupboard,

you'll get the record book countersigned

-by a registrar or a consultant.

-What's this?

A new initiative as of this morning. There was an email.

The drugs cupboard is always the responsibility of the senior nurse.

That is why I have the key.

Yes, but there is an investigation pending as to how a locum doctor

got his hands on industrial quantities of Camoxidan

on our ward,

so until we're all exonerated...

You know why they don't give doctors this key?

Because doctors go AWOL. Yeah? And they lose everything.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Eddi.

What am I supposed to do, Michael,

if a patient needs urgent medication and I can't find anybody?

-Make sure you do.

-What if I can't?

From where I'm standing, it seems a tad draconian.

Here are the facts.

We've just scraped through an investigation

into the death of a patient who more or less died in the back of a van

under my watch, and now I've got to explain how a couple of weeks ago

we had a doctor who was operating while strung out on painkillers.

What would you do?

I'd write it off as two unfortunate but unconnected events.

Schneider was an addict. Wherever he was, he'd have found a way.

If the senior nurse wasn't so accommodating.

That is dangerously speculative.

He's banging the woman with the keys to the jar,

and his pockets are full of cookies.

It's a complete coincidence(!)

Look, until this investigation is over, we're ALL under suspicion.

Well, then, there's no need to pick on our senior nurse, is there?

-Why don't we just let her get on with her job?

-Yes, Eddi?

I need to get some codeine for my patient.

And I'm assuming I can't sign it out without a chaperone?

Mr Hemingway?

Yeah.

We've been through all of this before.

It just feels weird that we're taking this huge step

in four days' time and nobody knows about it.

I don't think it's weird - I think it's romantic.

Our families, the girls.

If we tell the girls, we've got to tell your mum.

We tell your mum, we've got to tell my dad and before you know it...

Or you and me could run off in our lunch hour,

do this fantastically romantic thing,

it's just about you and me.

Can we go for lunch or dinner afterwards?

Maybe even a hotel room for the night? A mini-moon?

I'll see if I can get the time off.

But it's not about anyone else.

It's just about us.

And no fuss.

Just us, remember?

No fuss. Just us.

PHONE RINGS

Are you going to get that?

The moment she hears my voice, she'll know we're up to something.

Right. That's it. I'm turning my mobile off till Friday.

Oh, you can't do that!

Trust me, it is safer this way.

You know after Friday, we can call her.

We can call the girls. We can call everyone. But till then...

Who'd have thought, eh? Rainy night at Rodolfo's. We'd wind up here.

In four days' time, you're going to be...

Mrs Sacha Levy.

So that is two codeine for Mrs Johanssen.

Which means that 18 codeine

-are going right back in the drug cupboard.

-Agreed.

-You don't have to stick up for me, you know?

-Sorry?

I heard you with Michael. I can fight my own battles.

I don't doubt that.

I know everyone thinks it was me -

that I was supplying Max.

Really? Interesting.

Personally, I think Max probably had his own supply from somewhere else,

and now he's gone, you'd like to just get on with your life

and forget he ever existed.

Right.

We really don't have to do this.

-Do what?

-I've got better things to do with my day

than follow you to the drugs cupboard.

Why don't you sign things out

in the normal way, and if anyone asks, I'll say I was your witness.

How do you know I won't steal five packs of morphine and go sell them

-down the nearest playground?

-I don't. But I trust you.

Mr Griffin, I know this is short notice,

but I was wondering whether I could have Friday afternoon off.

It's not ideal, to be honest. But if it's for something vital...

Well, it's vital-ish.

Daniel, he's got a doctor's appointment.

Everything's OK, I hope.

Yeah, it's just hard to get an appointment with a paediatrician.

Well, if it's easier, you could take the whole day.

No, no. That's fine, no fuss.

OK.

OK, spill.

Spill what?

"Doctor's appointment." Come on.

That's right up there with "the dog ate my homework."

You live with Sacha.

He's your own 24-hour on-call personal physician.

Sacha is not a paediatrician.

Nah, I'm not buying it.

You're up to something. Channers, what'd you reckon?

-I dunno.

-Got it.

-You're doing one of those instant facelifts.

-No. But thanks.

Oh! I know. Mr Levy's

-taking you on a mini break to... Bath?

-No.

Paris? Rome? Oh, Fuengirola?

You're up to something.

There's no secret. You can stop looking at me like that.

Right, what've we got here?

This is Henrietta. She's from the ED.

Her car met a wall at 40 miles an hour.

-There weren't any passengers.

-Yikes.

Yep, Glasgow Coma Scale was seven at the scene so they intubated her.

They gave her a head CT in the ED.

Well, there's no sign of any obvious damage.

Looks like it could be a possible AVM.

But why is she still unconscious?

I don't know. Right, low Glasgow Coma Scale at the scene so...

could be postictal.

Well, it's a possibility, certainly.

Well, I'd say it's way more than a possibility. Look right there.

Sacha, can you see in the corner?

Maybe she had a seizure. Could have caused the crash.

It's a good call.

-Right, let's call Keller and get her an EEG.

-Will do, boss.

Oh, my god.

What? What is it?

Er hang...hang on a minute.

-Hey, guys.

-Hi, Dad.

-Hi, Dad.

What's up? Anything happened?

-I told you, you'd forgot.

-What have I forgotten?

Excuse me, do you know where AAU is, please?

-Down the end, turn left.

-OK, thanks.

I mean, obviously, it's great you guys coming to stay with us

for the next few days while your mum's away, and...

..you know, we're really looking forward to it.

But...

You don't want to be stuck with Dad and Chrissie every night.

Why are you trying to get rid of us?

I'm not. Of course I'm not.

I mean that's absolutely the last thing...

Have you planned something else? Something with Chrissie?

Yes. OK. Yes. I've screwed up.

I've booked to take Chrissie away for the night.

-So, take her away another night.

-Thing is, it's a special occasion,

so if there's any way you guys can...

-What special occasion?

-Is it her birthday?

No.

Oh, my god! You're getting married?

Are you?

Oh, sorry to interrupt. Your suspected AVM.

Her husband's here.

My suspected AVM.

Sacha. Your mother called again.

Oh, crikey! What did you tell her?

Well, the same as the last three times.

Your phone's broken. You're busy in theatre with a patient.

Oh, Good. Good, excellent.

Excuse me, this is Mr Levy.

All right?

I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

-Where have you been?

-I'm sorry?

You're supposed to be Helen's doctor. She's just been lying here.

Well, we're just about to send her up to Keller ward for a test

called an EEG.

She's been in here two hours, passed from pillar to post

and you don't know what's wrong with her. Sorry, it's not good enough.

Look,

I appreciate how distressing this must be to see her like this,

but I'm afraid there's nothing we can do...

We'd just had breakfast, she said she was popping down the shops.

Next thing I know, the phone goes, some guy from the hospital.

Why did this happen? What's wrong with her?

Why hasn't she woken up yet?

We don't think she's unconscious because of the accident.

We think she crashed the car because she blacked out.

-But why?

-Look's like she had a fit,

which was brought on by her underlying condition.

What are you talking about? What condition?

Girls? What are you doing here? Beka, what's the matter?

Why don't you want us at your wedding?

-Why did you tell them about Friday?

-They forced it out of me.

We agreed - just us.

They'll have to go and stay with your mum.

Now they know it's happening, wouldn't that be a bit brutal?

I mean, would it be so bad if they came?

You'll have to explain to them that we love them very much,

but it's not that kind of occasion.

No. I'm sorry. I cannot do that. I can't look my daughters in the eye

and tell them I don't want them there. Because I do.

-We agreed - just us!

-That's the thing.

After Friday, they are us.

You're going to be their stepmother.

"Us" will mean the five of us.

Let's talk about this later.

Hang on, I live with her! I think I'd know if she had a condition.

Fine. If you don't believe us, why don't you take her home?

I'm sure it's a way better idea

than you letting us take her up to a fully equipped High Dependency Unit.

She needs an urgent neurological assessment, all right?

She might be still fitting.

Look at her, she ain't waking up, is she?

-But, obviously, you know best.

-Nurse McKee. A word, please.

I am so, so sorry about that. Nurse McKee she's...

she's a great nurse but she's a little...feisty.

This is Sister Williams. She's going to be taking Henrietta up to Keller.

Henny. She hates being called Henrietta. It's always Henny.

Apparently she has something called an AVM. Do you know what that is?

Abnormality in the brain.

Do they know what causes it?

I'm afraid we don't know.

How long's she known?

Well, according to her notes, about five years.

So, go on, then.

Go on, what?

Give me the "you were bang out of order" speech.

Cos I know you're dying to.

Spooky. It's like you can see inside my mind.

I'm sorry that I lost my temper.

OK, it was very unprofessional of me.

I will apologise.

There, are we done?

What did he say that upset you so much?

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of everyone trying to undermine me.

I just want to do my job, Luc.

I'd like to get a little bit of respect.

Well, why don't you just do it?

Shut out the white noise, get your head down,

ignore the rest of the world.

Cos we're not all like you.

We can't all just do that.

I'm afraid that the CT scan showed that the AVM had bled.

So, what? You'll want to operate?

Well, given the small size of the bleed, and the risks of surgery,

we don't believe it's worth operating at this stage.

So, what can you do?

All we can do now is keep an eye on her,

and see if she shows any signs of improvement.

Could she wake up?

As my colleague says, we'll keep a close eye on her.

You OK?

When we were 17, the summer we met,

Hen told me about a view that she'd found up near where we lived.

So, she dragged me up this near-vertical hill.

I'm out of breath after about five minutes, but up she goes.

Then half way up, she gashes her leg open on a rock.

But it doesn't slow her down.

And when we got to the top,

the view was so breathtaking,

I asked her to marry me on the spot.

Hen doesn't give up, you know.

She never gives up.

Don't worry, we'll look after her.

I know you will.

I know that.

Come on, Hen.

You can do it.

Be strong.

You know, they've been together 40 years?

You get less for murder.

I can't imagine what it must be like to be with someone that long.

Like being buried alive.

Do you know, one day, that'll be you in that bed

wanting someone to fight your corner.

-To hold your hand.

-Sure.

But I'm not about to trade in passion for bedroom slippers

just cos I'm scared I'll die alone some day.

I still don't get why you don't want to have a proper wedding.

It's not that I don't want a proper wedding.

Aren't you going to wear a big white dress?

No, I think I'd look a bit silly in a big white dress.

What will we call you when you and Dad are married?

"Chrissie" will be fine.

I think it's like you're ashamed to be getting married.

Rachel, do you want to come to the wedding or not?

Suppose.

Right, here we are. First stop - Holby City!

Next stop - school!

What was that?

What?

The hand drop?

Ah, it's no big deal.

OK. Well, in that case...

I just don't think it's very professional, that's all.

Well, I disagree. I see consultants holding hands all the time.

Elliot and Jac,

Hanssen and Ric Griffin. Everyone's at it.

Well, I don't think we need to rub it in our colleagues' faces,

-the fact that we're...

-The fact that we're what?

-You know.

-I was just holding your hand!

It's not like we were going at it hammer and tongs in the coffee bar.

-Come on. Hold my hand.

-No.

-Hold my hand!

-No. Get off...

-No.

-Olly, I'm serious.

Well, I'm not letting go, so...

You all right? You seem a bit...

So would you be if you were stuck in a hot car with a bunch of Levys.

That's what you signed up for.

What happened?

She blew a pupil.

We ran a CT scan and the bleed's got much bigger.

So, we're taking her straight into theatre.

Why? I mean, at her age, aren't you taking a massive risk?

The neurosurgeons have talked to the husband. He knows the risks.

-He still wants to put her through it?

-I've got the information.

I know there's a chance she won't survive the op.

I also know she'll almost certainly die without it.

The neuros are taking her through now. You scrubbing in?

Sure.

So you collapsed on a bus? Is that right?

Miss Yang.

Yes. I know your name is Miss Yang, yes. I got that.

And you collapsed on a bus?

SPEAKS CHINESE

Yes, I know you have pain in your heart.

We think you might have had a heart attack...

Is there any luck with that translator?

-Not yet. I'm working on it.

-Oh, terrific! Marvellous!

I have no way of communicating with Miss Yang. There's no patient notes.

It's like Odile all over again.

Except, hopefully not. Obviously.

So, did you get the pain relief? Did you get the Camoxidan?

-Yeah.

-Then, given her echo results,

let's get her up to Darwin, as soon as possible.

Could you give them a call?

I've already done it. Miss Naylor is expecting her shortly.

Ah, well, I'm sure Jac will give her a very warm welcome.

Sacha, there's somebody here to see you.

Oh, great. Who?

Oh, crikey!

Ah, Doctor Lo.

Before you go running to HR, I want you to know

that I'm in no way making cultural assumptions

in regards to your ethnicity,

but do you by any chance speak Chinese?

SPEAKS CHINESE

That's a yes.

Well. Looks like we might have finally found a use for you, then.

Well?

She's survived the operation.

Of course she did. I told you.

My girl's made of strong stuff.

But I have to stress that she's still in a critical condition.

-So, what happens now?

-We take her through to Intensive Care.

-Can I go with her?

-I'm afraid we need some time to get her set up in ITU.

But as soon as we've finished, you can go through.

When she wakes up, you'll let her know I'm here, won't you?

Of course.

Congratulations!

What did we do?

Not you. Sister Williams! You kept that quiet.

-Why didn't you say anything?

-About what?

Sister Williams and Mr Levy are getting married on Friday!

Really?

So. Tell us everything. What's the dress like?

Who are your bridesmaids?

Where are you going on your honeymoon?

-It's not that kind of wedding.

-Oh, that's a shame!

And it was supposed to be a secret. How does everyone know?

What choice did you leave me, Sacha?

I was this close to breaking my leg so I could get myself admitted.

Mum.

So, you're running away like some kind of shotgun job.

Where're you going? Gretna Green?

Mum. You know I adore you, but this is the reason I didn't tell you.

Because I knew it would become this huge issue.

I'm not making any huge issue.

-Aren't you?

-No!

You're an adult. You can do what you like.

Thank you.

I might feel a little hurt.

I might wonder what I've done to offend you

and Chrissie that you shut me out like this.

Look, you know, we've got three kids between us.

We've both been married before.

It's not exactly like we're love's young dream, is it?

What's age got to do with it?

Sacha, if you can look me in the eye, and tell me

that a little registry office with no-one there -

is that what you really want?

Is that your dream wedding?

Is that going to make you happy?

Then I will give you my blessing.

Ah, Valentine! Any sign of your girlfriend?

-My what?

-She was supposed to be getting back to me

with a diagnosis for our Chinese friend about half an hour ago.

I'll go and check. And FYI she's not my girlfriend.

Oh. Just sex, then, is it?

No, I think you must be confusing us with you and Nurse Maconie.

SPEAKS CHINESE

Yep, right. Uh-huh.

Mum, I'm going to call you back.

"Mum?"

See, in my experience, when a woman's about to get married

usually she can't talk about anything else.

-But you...?

-I don't want to talk about this.

Er, correct me if I'm wrong,

but isn't this supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

Tell me. Am I making a terrible mistake, here?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why would you even ask me that?

Just tell me.

Look, it doesn't it matter what I...

The only thing that matters is what you think.

I thought I'd feel certain by now,

but I've just got all these questions

going round and round in my head.

Like can I really be the wife he wants me to be?

Can I stay faithful to him for the rest of my life?

I mean, I've screwed every other relationship up,

so why would this be different?

You know what, Chrissie? You're asking the wrong guy.

I mean, I don't know.

I can't even book a holiday with a guy

cos how do I know how I'm going to feel about him in three months.

So, how do you know how you're going to feel in ten years?

Or 20?

I guess, you grow together.

BEEPING

What's up?

ITU. It's Henny.

OK, so just to be absolutely clear.

You told Naylor you could speak Chinese when you can't?

No, I can. It's just... Two languages in Chinese -

Mandarin and Cantonese.

And guess what, Miss Yang speaks Cantonese and I speak Mandarin.

Come on, they can't be that different.

They're completely different. Like English and Swedish.

Why don't you just come clean?

Because this is the first time since I've been here

that Miss Naylor actually needs me.

-I can be genuinely useful to her.

-Except you can't.

Thanks. Helpful.

So, you decided to call your mother.

Yeah, well, she speaks both.

It was the best idea I could come up with on the spur of the moment.

OK. What's your diagnosis?

Well, I don't have one.

I'd just managed to get hold of her when you showed up.

OK. Well, I guess we should continue our cross-examination.

-We?

-Yup. Me, you, and your mum.

I don't...I don't understand this.

You said she was doing well.

I said she survived the operation.

We've done another scan.

She has massive brain swelling.

There's nothing more that the neurosurgeons can do.

No. You have to do something.

-I'm afraid there is nothing else that we can do.

-There has to be.

We can do what we can to make her comfortable.

She won't be in any pain.

No. No. Please. Please!

Please, Henny.

Henny, don't give up.

You can't give up. I'm not going to let you give up.

She's only ever had Chinese medicine...

Apart from the Camoxidan they presumably gave her on AAU?

And she says that

every friend of hers treated in a Western hospital

has come out in a box.

Hang on, Mum.

The cardiac enzymes rules out a heart attack.

But there's clearly some sort of a murmur

and the ECG shows irregular tracings.

Let's give her diuretics, beta blockers

and run a stress echo first thing tomorrow morning, OK?

Hi, Mum.

What?

All she needs is a cup of tea to restore the balance.

Right, well, we might give you the beta blockers, too.

Just to be on the safe side.

Thank you.

She'd figured out something was up, just like I said she would,

and under cross-examination, I'm afraid Beka folded.

So, she came to AAU demanding answers.

And she took the opportunity to inform the entire hospital.

OK. Listen to me. Listen to me. Here's the thing -

Now everyone knows about it and the cat's out the bag,

why don't we just go for it?

Go for what?

A proper wedding.

Come on, come on. Bad dancing.

Too much food. A buffet.

You know, and everyone we know and love there to support us.

-We get married in two days' time.

-It's fine, it's fine.

Mum said she'd organise everything for us.

BEEPING

Right, I've got to go.

Look, she said nothing would make her happier

than to give us the wedding we deserve.

Just think about it, OK?

Oh, and I'll go on a diet after the wedding. Yes? Promise.

What?

Will you stop laughing at me?

You could have come clean,

and instead, you decide to jump through all these ridiculous hoops.

You're a genius at making life difficult for yourself.

-Shut up.

-Honestly. It's what I love about you.

I...er.

-Beta blockers and diuretics.

-Yeah. Do you need me to...?

-No. I'm good, thanks.

-Good.

Tea! Yes! Thank you.

Yes, tea. But only if you take these.

I'm sorry, what was that?

No, you need to take them.

Take them.

It says in your notes that you took two Camoxidan in AAU, so...

Hang on a minute. Empty your pockets.

Pockets, empty. Now.

Well, these are aspirin.

Why would they say Camoxidan if they gave you aspirin?

SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

I'm sorry. I don't understand.

SHE SPEAK CHINESE

No, no. Definitely not.

As the sun travelled downwards as she walked

with grains across the sand.

The tide moving gently toward the rocks,

stopping close to the edge.

She looked into the deep blue water.

That's very kind of you. Thank you.

I've been sat here for two hours,

trying to pluck up the courage to call her kids.

-Her kids?

-You've all assumed, and not unreasonably,

that Henny's my wife.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just something you said

-about proposing when you were 17.

-I did.

But my parents thought we were too young to know our own minds.

So, we went our separate ways. I joined the Merchant Navy.

I wound up in Sydney.

We married other people. Had kids.

-Lived our lives.

-So, how did you...?

One night, three years ago, I couldn't sleep.

So, I went looking for something to read and I found this.

And there was her name. Our names together on the page.

And I suddenly realised

I'd spent most of my life feeling like there was a part of me missing.

The power of the internet! Took me five minutes to find her.

Still living in the same town I'd left behind 40 years previously.

So, what did you do?

I contrived a business trip to London.

Dropped her a casual e-mail

suggesting we have a quick coffee at Paddington Station.

It took us ten seconds to realise

we'd both spent our lives married to the wrong people.

-Oh, good. You're still alive.

-Why wouldn't I be?

The fact you disappeared off the face of the earth last night,

and haven't been answering your mobile.

Yeah, well. I had studying to do, so, I just switched it off.

Right.

Miss Yang!

Lucy grab me a crash trolley, please!

-Morning, Professor Hope.

-Morning.

She seems to be having some sort of reaction.

-What have you given her?

-Beta blockers and diuretics.

Has she taken anything else? Eaten? Opiates?

-Unlikely. Look at her.

-Didn't she have Camoxidan on AAU?

-No she just had aspirin.

-OK, I'll check.

Does she have any allergies?

I don't know. This is her first time in hospital.

She doesn't have any notes.

You didn't just ask her?

Dr Lo! We need to find out if she's allergic to anything.

-Who are you calling?

-My mum.

Is she a cardiologist?

Oh, I remember. Chinese lady - knitting, spoke no English.

She was prescribed two Camoxidan on ward...

Yeah, but did you actually see her take them?

I can't honestly remember. Why?

She's been pretending to take her medication

and putting the pills in her pocket,

but the pills in her pocket are just aspirin tablets,

and there's no record of any...

Oh, you're quite right. My mistake. She was just given aspirin.

I'll amend our records. Bye.

-Nurse McKee.

-Yeah?

I've got a patient in bed eight with acute abdo pains.

I wonder if you could get her two Camoxidan.

-OK.

-Failing that, I'm sure aspirin would be just as effective.

After all, the two are pretty much interchangeable, aren't they?

So, I spoke to Hemingway.

It was just aspirin that they gave her. That's all.

This is a ridiculous situation...

This is our western medicine. She told us it was poison.

What's she taken in the last 24 hours?

Could you ask her to ask her to please tell us

what she's taken?

Must be something. She's Jac Naylor's patient, could you page her?

It's already done.

SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

Thank you. Could it be something she's eaten?

Hello, hello, Mrs Lo, yes, yes.

Could you ask what has she had to eat and drink, thank you.

The tea. Ma Huang.

-What?

-Of course!

Well, this all looks very cosy.

Do you mind bringing me up to speed?

Miss Yang drinks Ma Huang tea which contains ephedrine

which in large quantities would have exacerbated her aortic stenosis.

I mean this is something Chinese herbalists

prescribe for a common cold.

I think it's led to distension of her left ventricle

and I would suggest you perform an urgent aortic valve replacement.

Would you, now? Well, I'm almost impressed.

Prep her, you can join me in theatre.

Oh, Mum! Er, Mum, Hi. Yes. No, it's fine. No, thank you. Goodbye.

-This has got nothing to do with you.

-This has everything to do with me.

One of our patients was in agony because she had no pain relief.

I gave her painkillers.

It's not my fault if she chose not to take them.

Firstly, you're supposed to make sure

the patient actually swallows what you give them.

And secondly, you gave her the wrong pain relief.

Why did you give her the wrong pain relief?

Why are you asking me a question when you already know the answer?

Because I want to hear you say it.

-I want you to tell me the truth for once.

-Fine.

I swapped the Camoxidan with aspirin

because I knew it would make almost no difference whatsoever to her,

and I had a headache.

If you had a headache, you might have taken the aspirin yourself.

-How many times have you done this?

-A couple.

How many are you taking?

What difference does it make to you, Luc?

How many are you taking?

One every now and then, all right?

It's not like I'm some massive pill head. I'm a nurse.

-I know what I'm doing.

-What like Schneider knew what he was doing?

-Ah! You are loving this, aren't you?

-Mm?

Sat up on your high horse, passing judgement on the rest of us.

You're absolutely right.

There's nothing I like more than sticking my neck

on the line for someone

only to find out they've been lying to me all along.

I never asked you to stick up for me.

No, but I did. Because I thought you were better than him.

But you're not. You're just as weak as he is.

And for the record,

you put a foot wrong with one of my patients, you are on your own.

I just came to say goodbye. My shift's ended now.

I wish you could've met her.

Did you manage to get hold of her children?

I called her eldest. He's on his way down with his sister.

Well done.

You wouldn't believe it, he thanked me.

He said he'd never seen her so happy as these last three years.

He could show me such kindness, you know, after...

So, you can't regret what happened.

I can regret listening to my parents.

I can regret the pain we caused.

But how can I regret the rest?

No matter what else I've done, I found my soul mate.

How many of us can say that?

You OK?

How do I know?

How do I know if Sacha and I should be together?

How do I know if I'm doing the right thing?

Listen, Chrissie,

you're supposed to be getting married in less than 24 hours.

If you're still not sure, maybe you need to talk to...

There she is - the blushing bride!

Chantelle, give us a minute, please.

I just came to let you know

you've got 15 minutes to change into something glam.

Why?

They're coming, they're coming, they're coming!

-Here she is!

-Surprise!

APPLAUSE

Think that's my cue to er...

Don't you even think about it.

Earlier today, I asked your hubby-to-be

a few questions about you and your relationship.

So, now we're going to find out how well you really know each other.

OK. The first question's easy. Where did you two meet?

Right, we met in a bar.

The first thing she said to me was

"you look nothing like your photograph".

And he didn't look anything like his photograph.

And from then on, it just got worse.

She told me the only reason she was still there

is because the first two guys she'd chosen had bailed.

We didn't really hit it off straight away.

She let me buy her the world's smallest glass of wine,

which she downed in about three seconds,

and then she said to me,

"You seem like a nice guy...

"But this really isn't happening."

-But he wouldn't give up.

-That's my boy.

I said "OK, fine. Fair enough.

"You don't fancy me.

"That's, that's fair enough.

"But there is this Italian called Rodolfo's round the corner

"which does the best tiramisu in the world and I don't know about you,

"but I am absolutely starving and we've both got to eat, haven't we?"

I said I would come as long as he didn't make a pass at me.

I realised this is probably the only time in my life

I would get to spend time with a woman this beautiful,

so, I just thought, you know,

I'd make the evening last as long as I could.

The restaurant was absolutely awful.

It is my absolute favourite restaurant.

You know, waiters singing opera.

These fantastic murals, you know, in the loo.

And there was about three bottles of a really cheap Chianti.

You know the stuff you get in a basket.

And by the end of the night we had conceived Daniel.

-Oh.

-Thanks, for that.

Impressive. You should take notes.

That is so romantic! Do you ever go back to the restaurant?

No, I don't. I don't even know if it's still there.

Really? If it was me, I'd go back all the time.

It's where it first began.

OK. The next question.

I asked Sacha what his favourite part of your body was.

THEY LAUGH

KNOCK ON DOOR

Who are we expecting. You didn't invite Hanssen, did you?

I did, but he said he has salsa class on a Thursday night.

Oh, it should be that dwarf stripper I ordered.

You didn't?

Now this is what I call a party!

-You haven't shaved his eyebrows off yet?

-You came!

Yep. There's still 12 hours to go.

I didn't want to miss the opportunity

to talk you out of making the biggest mistake of your life.

Jac Naylor, ladies and gentleman.

I'm so happy to see this day.

There was a time,

after what happened with Helen,

I thought he'd never get over it.

A man's wife cheats on him like that...

Took him a long time to trust anybody after that.

That's why, in the end, I signed him up for the computer dating.

Practically had to force him to go there.

And then, at his first date he meets you!

As soon as I met you, I knew you were meant to be together.

I knew before you did!

In the Jewish faith, we believe that an unmarried man is incomplete.

Tomorrow you will make my Sacha

finally complete.

I know, technically, we're colleagues, I know we're colleagues

-Oh, here we go.

-But I...

I think of you guys as friends, I really do,

and I couldn't wish for better friends,

I really couldn't.

I love you guys.

There it is!

I do, I love you guys.

I just wish you could all have what I have...

Well, you know. In fairness, most of the hospital's had what you have.

-Ooh, come on, Jac!

-It's fine. Look, look.

Who are we kidding? Who are we kidding?

Chrissie's never pretended to be a nun.

Mmmm, you've just gone with the usual scenarios -

Japanese schoolgirl, flight attendant...

You're sick.

But, no seriously, we have to hand him some credit here,

-because this woman carries more baggage than a 737.

-Really?

-Several married consultants...

-Yes, I know. I know.

-Connie Beauchamp's then husband...

-Yes.

Sam Strachan, Stuart McElroy - he cut her face.

-What?

-Oh, who was the other one? Oliver Valentine...

But, to be fair, she's not the only one to go there, is she Jac?

Yeah, Greg Douglas...

What?!

Dan Hamilton. I mean, Dan Hamilton.

She didn't marry any of them, did she? You know.

To the best of my knowledge, she's only been married once

and that was to Owen, and that ended a long time ago.

I imagine the affair he had with her mother probably didn't help.

-Good god.

-Really?

-Look. But look, whatever's happened in the past,

-I am the father of her child.

-Maybe.

-And, well...

Yes, and I am the man she wants to be married to

and that is good enough for me.

Here, here.

Cheers to that.

MUSIC PLAYS: "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls

Where's the guest of honour?

I thought she was with you?

DRUNKEN CHEER

Chrissie!

It's quarter past midnight,

so, technically, it's your wedding day.

I thought it was supposed to be bad luck for the bride

and groom to see each other before the...

Oh, my god, you're not...?

Please don't make this any harder.

Of course you are. Of course you are.

You're going to bail on him, aren't you?

-Good.

-What?

More than anyone I have ever met, he deserves to be happy.

So if you can't stand up in front of everyone tomorrow

and promise to be faithful to him

for the rest of your life, then it's better to break his heart now

before this goes any further.

This has nothing to do with you.

It was always just a matter of time before you screwed him over.

Because people don't change.

Not really.

And deep down, he's not what you want.

But I guess you're the wrong side of 40

and scared of being on your own.

How are you feeling, Miss Yang?

SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

She says she's feeling much better.

Well, the aortic valve replacement was a complete success,

so, all being well,

we should be able to send you home in the next few days.

SHE SPEAKS CHINESE

She looks confused.

Why does she look confused?

She doesn't. She looks fine.

I'd better get on the translation hotline line.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hi.

Hey.

What does that mean? What's that...?

Dunno? No idea.

Pam!

Hello?

Is it me, or is it very, very quiet round here?

Eerily so.

Still no answer. From any of them. From Chrissie, from my mum.

I just don't understand it. It makes no sense.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation.

Yes, well, there's a very logical explanation.

I just don't want to face it.

You hungry?

Why here?

Do you know it?

This is the place I was telling you about.

This is... This is Rodolfo's! Where we both met.

What's going on? We went to the Registry office.

You didn't want to get married in that tiny little room, did you?

I thought that's what you wanted.

I want to make you happy.

I don't understand. What does this mean?

What do you think it means, dummy?

You want to get married here? In Rodolfo's?

Why here?

Apparently it does the best tiramisu in the world.

We're ready. He's here.

MUSIC PLAYS: "At Last" by Etta James

APPLAUSE

-Who did all this, then?

-Us.

Ladies and gentlemen, a very warm welcome to you all.

We're gathered here today to witness the marriage of Sacha...

..Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her,

and, forsaking all others,

be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?

I will.

Chrissie, will you take Sacha to be your husband?

Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him,

and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him

as long as you both shall live?

I will.

And now I believe the beautiful bride

would like to say a few words, so ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the new Mrs Levy!

Well, I would just like to thank my new mother-in-law,

and my gorgeous bridesmaids,

for helping me organise such a special occasion,

at such short notice.

Now, it's no big secret that in my search for Prince Charming,

I've kissed a lot of frogs.

And it has taken me a while to realise

that the best man of all was right under my nose the whole time.

And, as luck would have it, he's the father of my child.

Now a few of you have asked when I first realised,

you know, what was the moment that I knew he was the man for me.

Well, I can give you three moments.

One was last December when he sat at a bar by a piano

and serenaded me to his unique version

of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".

And one was an awful week earlier this year,

when I thought I might have lost him,

and I was more frightened,

more lost, than I'd ever been in my life.

And one was seeing him through someone else's eyes.

A mutual friend of ours

said that out of everyone she had ever met,

he deserved to be happy.

And I realised they were right.

And that I was the lucky women who's been given that job.

I know that I will never meet a man as good as you.

As kind as you.

And I promise that I will do everything I can to make you happy.

APPLAUSE

MUSIC PLAYS: "Love Shack" by the B-52s

So, I looked up the red string online.

Miss Yang is just a crazy old lady.

It turns out, the gods tie an invisible string

around those who are destined to be together.

She thinks we're soul mates.

Oh. There's no such thing.

Leaving?

Yes, when the dancing starts, it's my cue to leave, definitely.

I don't want to endure any inebriated, dad-dancing.

That's a shame, I'm in the mood for a boogie.

-Who invited you?

-Elliot was kind enough to tip us off.

And there was no way I was going to pass up a wedding.

A free bar, and lots of desperate single women!

What's not to love?

So, are you and me going to dance, or what?

-I don't dance.

-Fair enough.

But I challenge you to resist the urge to move when you see this.

You really have no self-respect, at all, do you?

Screw self-respect. It's a wedding!

Hemingway!

Why aren't you dancing?

Oh, I know.

Is it because it's really uncomfortable

to move with that pole stuck up your arse?

-Eddi...

-Don't ignore me.

Oy! Where you going? I'm talking to you!

Hey! Turn the music off!

MUSIC STOPS

ALL: Aw!

I just want to say, well done, Sacha.

THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

For finally growing a pair!

Woo-hoo!

And Chrissie, Chrissie...

Try not to cut them off all at once, will you?

Ooh, Luc Hemmingway, hello. Everybody look,

it's Luc Hemingway! Luc Hemingway.

Look, stop it. You're making a fool of yourself.

Oh, no! No!

He thinks I'm making a fool out of myself.

Well, I don't think I am.

I think it's because you're so goddamn boring!

Don't touch me.

Luc, don't touch me. Stop it, don't touch me.

Well, now it's a wedding, right? Come on, don't be like that.

You've seen drunk people before.

Come on, DJ, let's get the music on.

Malick, show 'em how it's done, come on now.

ALL: Whoop!

Luc, why can't you just leave me alone?

Because I don't trust you to look after yourself.

You want to talk to me about trust?

OK, Luc, how about I trusted you.

How about I trusted you enough to give you my key.

And you ran away. No explanation.

No reason. You just vanished.

I would have done anything for you.

No, don't.

You did this to me.

So, don't think you can come back here now

playing some kind of hero because it makes you feel less guilty,

because it's not going to make me hate you any less.

And believe me, I hate you.

I really hate you.

MUSIC PLAYS: "The Way You Look Tonight"

-Hey. Want to dance?

-I don't dance.

-Why not?

-I don't want to make a fool out of myself.

Well, see, that's the great thing about dancing.

So long we both make a fool of ourselves at the same time,

it doesn't matter, does it?

I don't know.

Just go with it. Don't over-think it.

Ladies and gentlemen, would you make your way outside,

as the bride and groom are ready to leave!

SPEAKS CHINESE

What does that mean?

-I will, I promise you, I will.

-Bye, dad.

-Bye!

Hang on. Wait.

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, Mrs Levy.

Mrs Levy.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd