Break Holby City

Daniel doesn't have a hole in his heart.

You didn't know?

Put my son Daniel under anaesthetic, knowing the increased risk,

just to give your daughter a chance.

He needs to be in overnight for observation.

I'll decide what happens to Daniel in the future.

You look after your daughter.

We were just starting out. We had nothing. We had plans.

She was stolen away.

No budget airline to some ratty little industrial estate

in Switzerland for her.

You stay off me!

You need a ride?

It's Californian.

The orange?

The technique.

HE SNIGGERS

I can't take this seriously.

I'm not asking you to.

-You sure you don't want me to come with you?

-No.

Moral support? Hold your jacket while you fight?

Thank you.

All right. Just remember what I said, yeah?

Don't make any rash decisions.

OK, let's have a good look at it.

Oooh! Ahhh!

That's quite nice, actually.

-You think so?

-Yeah.

I don't mind ones like that - it's the ones

where they have them all over their body - not nice.

Especially when you get older.

It's like a soggy newspaper that's been left out in the rain.

Not attractive.

Good thing you don't work on the geriatric ward.

Oh, no - I love old people. I love my nan.

I'll never be seen dead in the geriatric ward.

Ahh, don't say that.

Gallows humour. I'm allowed to make jokes about dying.

But people who aren't dying aren't allowed to make jokes about me.

Kind of gives me the upper hand.

I guess it's kind of good.

-Good.

-You're doing very well.

You're going to ask her out, aren't you?

What? No.

Well, maybe.

You should ask her out - you obviously want to.

I just think there's sort of a professional protocol...

Also, ease up a bit, yeah?

Take the broom handle out your backside!

'I don't want one.'

-You deserve one.

-Irrelevant.

To you, maybe, which frankly, I don't believe is true.

-Regardless...

-YOU want me to have one.

Me, Serena, HR. Without one, there's no closure.

Oh, closure. Oh, my God.

We really should have had a sweepstake on Darwin as to

how long it would take the American shrink to use the word "closure".

OK, so instead of being angry at Oliver, you'll get angry at me.

-For telling me to be angry with Oliver!

-That's my job.

Telling people what they should think?

Precisely. And being a mop to soak up excess emotion -

an emotional barometer in a professional arena.

I do not want his apology.

Yes, you do.

You just don't want to see him pull it out of himself to give it to you.

No, I don't.

Because you feel he's empty... and bruised enough already.

Yes.

It's not just about you, Elliot.

It's not even about Oliver.

Not any more.

He committed an act of serious aggression against his senior...

I practically fell over.

You think Serena is going to let this slide?

Barely got her feet under the big boss's desk

and a junior doctor attacks a senior consultant on her watch?

I don't want his apology. I want to move on.

He needs to apologise if he wants to keep his job.

DOOR ENTRY BUZZES

Oh, look at this little monkey. Hello, Daniel, pumpkin.

Who's been the bravest boy in the whole wide world, eh?

Must be nearly past your bedtime.

Yeah, I'm going to take him home now.

Sacha's been so worried about you two. We both have.

Where have you been?

Do you know what, Helen? That is none of your business.

When it affects my family, it is my business.

I'm the on-call consultant tonight

so I'll also be keeping an eye on Keller

and I have a mountain of paperwork,

so if you need me, and I sincerely hope that you won't,

I'll be in my office.

Understood. And thank you for this opportunity.

Why did you volunteer for a nightshift on Darwin?

The experience. Cardiothoracics have always really intrigued me.

Heart surgery is not all glamour, you know,

especially not in the middle of the night.

There'll be no beating heart procedures

or quadruple bypasses on this shift.

No, I was just trying to get a feel for...

Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw!

Look, I had to pull several strings to get you here,

so not to put too fine a point on it, don't make me regret my efforts.

I won't.

# Drugs! Drugs! Wonderful drugs! #

I warn you now, Darwin can be a tricky ward.

I've just spent the past five months on AAU.

Yes, but up here it's not just the patients who have their sharp edges.

Me, I'm bulletproof.

OK, you'll be working under Dr Valentine tonight. Good luck.

MUMBLES: Sorry.

-Sorry?

-I said, I'm sorry.

Oh, sorry, no, I didn't hear...

I understand that you're angry with me.

No, I-I-I'm not angry.

No...

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

I shouldn't have mentioned Gina and my own experience of grief,

like it would be some great comfort to you.

Elliot, listen to yourself.

It must have felt in some ways like I was belittling your own grief.

I shoved you into a computer!

-It was just a push.

-And now you're saying sorry to me.

If I were you, I'd stay as far away from me as possible.

It's been a real roller coaster all day.

They are amazing down here.

Honestly, the dedication of the staff.

Rachel was... I've been... WE'VE been so proud of her.

Poor thing's really been through it.

Having Daniel's marrow pumped into her. It isn't the nicest process.

I'm sure it's nicer than having it taken out of you.

Of course. I wasn't saying...

Has he been OK?

In pain - he's had an operation.

How did he sleep?

They gave me something for him.

-I really think he should be checked over.

-I'm going to.

He does look very cheerful. Don't you, monkey?

I'm going to ask the sister if he can sleep in the treatment room.

Babies are very, very resilient, Chrissie. Really.

I've had two, I do know.

So have I. One of them died.

How did she die?

We don't need to know that.

No, you're right. She's just an empty vessel, not a person now.

Just full of organs for us to harvest.

She's a young woman whose kindness means

her death could mean life for others.

OK, thank you, team.

Thank you.

You know, work could be a good way to lose yourself, too.

Of course.

And it doesn't lead to emotional complications or hangovers.

Right.

There have been many times in my life

when being a doctor has been the only thing that's kept me going.

Sometimes, Oliver, if you can't help yourself...

it's useful to be able to help others.

Thank you, Elliot. I'm fine.

Absolutely fine.

Would you be able to look after Daniel for a few minutes?

Of course.

I want to have a word with Sacha.

Don't be too hard on him.

-Thanks.

-Really, Chrissie,

-I know you think I'm biased because...

-Do you know what, Helen?

I don't want to have this conversation with you, OK?

-It's just...

-I want to have it with Sacha -

my husband, Daniel's father.

He's the father of my children, too.

Oh, don't I know it?!

How are you feeling, Mr Potter?

How do you think I feel?

Dehydrated? Woozy? A little achy?

I feel like Joe Bugner's punchbag,

what he lent to Joe Frazier after having knocked the crap out of it!

Right, em, I'm Dr Digby...

You did ask. Don't want to know, don't ask.

Erm...

I'm going to examine you,

then afterwards, we're going to run a few tests including an ultrasound.

How old are you, son?

Erm...I don't think that's...

-Is that too difficult a question?

-No. No, no, no, it's just...

Are you really a doctor?

I am, yes.

There we are, licensed to practise medicine.

I've got a toothbrush older than you!

He doesn't look old enough, does he?

Nowhere near!

Doctor?! He told me the same thing.

He could be an impostor!

He could be a stripogram!

Sebastian Channing, behave yourself!

Leave Dr Digby alone!

Dr Digby, I have the ultrasound machine,

where would you like it?

My God, this is it! I've died and gone to heaven!

You look like an angel.

Hey, Ronnie Corbett.

It's Dr Digby.

You and her stepping out together?

Steady on, Mr Potter! You already have a very elevated blood pressure.

You've got to ask her out. You're a doctor, she's a nurse.

He's a bit shy.

Nothing on her finger.

You want to snap her up before some other doctor does.

Why hasn't he asked her out?

Fear of rejection.

You see this probe...

-He's got his dignity to protect.

-Very overrated.

When it makes contact with the skin of your abdomen...

Snap her up.

Eeeooow! That's cold.

-So, nightshift on Darwin, eh?

-Hmm.

Is that some kind of weird masochistic thing with you?

Are you into bondage and body piercing too?

Only at the weekends, like to keep my weeknights free.

Not meaning to be funny about this or anything,

but how come you volunteered to do the graveyard shift on Darwin?

Yeah, that's exactly what Ms Campbell just asked me.

Only, most people who actually work here

would do literally anything to avoid that.

I don't know, just wanted a look, is all.

Yeah. At the Darwin freak show?

I'm not with you.

Were you hoping to see another bloody punch-up?

I thought we only got those on AAU!

Between Oliver and Elliot?

Because we don't need junior doctors coming up here

and rubber-necking at our Darwin car crashes, thank you very much.

-What are you...?

-You really don't know what happened yesterday?

Look, I'm sorry. Let's start again

cos I just feel like I've walked into some weird French film

and I don't know the plot.

You mean you're not up here to...?

What?

Nothing.

What happened last night?

Never you mind.

Jim Howson, bay two.

Let's go have a wee look-see, shall we?

-Am I missing something?

-Oh, no.

We've got him a bed in the treatment room.

Daniel can snuggle down there as long as he likes.

How sweet is that?

You know, you can't look at that and not know we did the right thing.

We?

-Chrissie...

-Don't!

Did you really think I wouldn't find out?

I didn't think.

I'm a nurse.

It was in his notes, for God's sake - a hole in his heart.

Even you should have realised eventually I would have...

I'm so sorry. So sorry.

Do you think I'm an idiot?

No.

-Did she know?

-No!

Course she didn't. It was me, just trying to...just get through.

-By lying to me?

-No, to here. To get us to here.

To today, to this point...

..where Rachel is recovering and Daniel is fine.

And look, Chrissie, just look at him - he IS fine.

And what about me?

What am I supposed to do with the way I feel now?

I don't know.

So you were driving the church minibus?

Yes, that's right, it was vital missionary work -

delivering Agnes, Peggy and Beryl to their whist drive.

Look at me.

(Only we didn't quite make it!)

Yes, it says here that you were involved in a collision with a wall?

It was an act of God! He put the wall there, just to spite me!

OK, I'm going to get a suture kit, clean this up and stitch it.

Sure. So is there anyone you'd like us to call for you?

Like who?

-A partner?

-Partner?!

How do you know I'm not happily married with three little kiddies?

I wasn't making any...

I just need a name to pop in the next-of-kin box.

Well, I can't give you one.

What about a parent?

No.

What about the vicar, or...?

Priest. It was a Catholic minibus. Not that I'm a Catholic.

Thank you, no.

Would you like us to call him?

Why? Do I need my last rites?

I just assumed, given that you were driving his bus...

Well, you shouldn't make any assumptions about me.

I don't want to talk any more. I'm tired.

-Going to sleep now.

-OK.

See him wince?

Oh, when he laughed?

-Chest.

-Trauma from the crash.

We need to get that checked out.

And here we have Dr Valentine to do just that.

Jonny, look, about last night, I'm sorry...

Your patient, Mr Howson.

RTC.

Chest trauma and a laceration to his left hand.

He was bumped up from ED with intermittent breathing problems.

-Oh, and your junior, Dr Wilde.

-Hey.

My junior?

She volunteered for a night on Darwin.

My next rotation, I'm considering Cardiothoracics

and Ms Campbell put me with you.

-Ah, Dr Valentine, I see you've already met Dr Wilde...

-May I?

-Is this my punishment?

-What?

Baby-sitting an F1?

Is that what you think? That we want to punish you?

This is a teaching hospital.

So, when you said Ollie and Elliot were having a punch-up, is that...?

I know you pretty much hate me, Chrissie.

And, if I'm honest, I never approved of you,

as I'm sure you realised.

It wasn't a well-kept secret.

We're not supposed to like each other.

We're biologically programmed to dislike competitors.

We're hardly competing.

Well, not for Sacha...exactly, but for our children, maybe?

For their status, for their love?

Whatever undercurrents there are between us,

let's not forget what just happened between our children.

She read him a noisy animal farm book.

He saved her life.

Your son saved my daughter's life.

Well, he didn't have much choice, did he?

That is nothing short of a miracle, Chrissie.

Yes, I suppose.

He's three years old, he's already a hero!

Well...

If he does nothing else in his life, he has saved a young woman's life,

which is more than most men ever do.

I know what you're saying is right, but...

No buts! Be proud!

I can't just ignore what Sacha did...

I don't even like you and yet I owe you and your son everything.

Without you two, my daughter would be out there dying.

I'll be indebted to you for the rest of my life.

Just think how bad that makes me feel.

How do you manage to do all this, then?

Saint Christopher. He did it. He did. Was sitting on the dashboard,

looking all smug and porcelain.

-I'm assuming he's in pieces now.

-Him and me, both.

You done his bloods?

No, not yet. Are you sure that there's not anyone

we can put down as your next of kin, Mr Howson?

Why don't you put down Dr Handsome here?

Hey, Dr Blue Eyes, you want to be my phone-a-friend?

I'm all good. Let's get them done, OK?

FBC, Us, Es, LFT, amylase, group and save. Get Jonny to assist you.

And can you chase up the X-rays, please? Mr Howson...?

Is it just me or is everybody here super-attractive?

I bet you're all sleeping together, aren't you?

I bet it's a hotbed of sin and debauchery.

Come on, you can tell me. I bet it is, isn't it?

Just roll over for me, please.

You could at least buy me a drink first!

-Please, I need to check your breathing.

-Since you asked so nicely.

OK, yeah, we need to run some blood tests and scans

to make sure you haven't sustained any more serious injuries.

You can turn back now. Thank you.

Is he sulking?

I think he's sulking! Did you see him pout?

Do his bloods.

Book him a CT and check with ED about his X-rays.

If nothing shows, ship him out. I'm sure Ms Campbell will be delighted.

They love a quick turnover.

I was wondering, should we get Dr Kozinsky to have look at him?

A psych consult? I don't think so.

He was quite agitated when he came in.

I mean, he did drive a bus into a wall!

He's sedated, talking absolute rubbish

like so many of our illustrious patients.

-I don't know. He seems...

-Run a tox-screen on his bloods,

you'll find a lot more than ED prescribed.

-Yeah, but it wouldn't hurt to just...

-Just do it!

You want a cardiac experience, this is a cardiac ward!

Scan him, X-ray his chest, leave his brain alone!

You've got so much lip gloss! And two types of lipstick!

And lip...plumper. Can I use it?

-Yeah, sure.

-Cool.

Look how happy she is.

You want my advice? Don't make the same mistakes this time.

It wasn't me that walked out.

It takes two, Sacha!

Hi, I'm just finishing my shift now

and I just wanted to say...

That's a lot of oranges.

-Really?

-Oh, no. Um...

Just...thank you for your concern earlier

and I appreciate what you're doing for Oliver.

Hey, it's what I do.

Why so many oranges?

-Sometimes I use them.

-Really?

You didn't come here to ask me about my citrus fruits.

No, right, just to...

You came here to ask me out for a drink and to apologise.

Apologise? Yes, well, I suppose I did rather bite your...

But not a drink.

Although, I mean, you know, if you'd like a drink...?

I have an appointment first thing with Dr Valentine.

Oh, really? Right.

Which Serena Campbell is keen we have.

No. No. Of course.

So I can't exactly go wild, but I think I could excuse a swift half.

Oh, right! Great! Erm...

Er, I'll pop and get my coat.

Just lie still, please, Mr Potter.

What do you think I'm going to do? Wriggle around like a mermaid?!

I'm sorry about all the laddish joshing and teasing upstairs.

Don't worry.

I think they got a bit out of hand.

I'm used to it. Anyway, it's all just a big joke.

What?

The nurse/doctor stuff.

-You mean...

-Yeah, I mean.

Me...asking you out...?

Exactly. They just think it's funny to tease. It's just a joke.

Right...

If it passes the time, if it keeps them happy...

Seb's dying, for heaven's sake, and Tommy's...

Got an aortic aneurysm the size of a kiwi fruit!

Could you do me a favour?

Would you tell Dr Valentine I've booked Mr Howson's CT scan?

If you like. Or you could just tell him yourself.

He seems a bit prickly with me.

You volunteered for a nightshift on Darwin

and you're being put off by prickly?

You might want to think about Paediatrics for your next rotation.

Good evening, Father. Who are you looking for tonight?

Jim Howson? I only just heard about the accident.

-I came as soon as I could.

-It's OK. He's over this way.

Bay two.

How is he?

Um...it's a bit difficult to say at the moment.

We're still waiting on test results.

But he's conscious?

Yeah, very much so. In fact, he seems a little...

Manic?

Right.

Mr Howson? Father Western here to see you.

-Hello, Father.

-What have you done?

Had a little accident, Father. Oops, sorry(!)

Think I might have dented your minibus(!)

Don't mind about the minibus.

Look, thanks for coming and all, but I'm sure you've got souls to save,

some Hail Marys to say, so don't let me put you out.

Who ordered the priest?

I don't know, he just showed up.

Why didn't you call me?

Because I didn't want to, OK?

Because I didn't want to see you then

and I don't want to see you now, so why just leave me alone!

-SHOUTING:

-OK? Bye-bye, Father! Thanks for coming!

Keep it down, mate. We're trying to sleep here.

PAGER BEEPS

OK, a question - how long since you've had it off?

I'm...sorry?

Your pager.

Oh, right. I don't switch it off much.

I can't tell whether you like being teased by me or not.

Like.

So...?

Yes, maybe I should switch it off.

Here's to spontaneity.

Question for you.

Only one?

Why England? Why here?

I just love your Royal Family. They're so adorable.

-Mmm.

-Kidding.

No, I've always loved Europe.

And my kids grew and I said to myself,

"Sharon, you need an adventure," so I upped sticks and here I am.

You're finished for the night, right? Not on call?

So live dangerously. Switch it off!

You crossed an ocean and ended up in Holby...

all on your own?

Something like that.

THEY LAUGH

Cheers.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause a disturbance in your ward.

I think it might be better

if you avoid talking to Jim for a little while.

Dr Valentine doesn't want him upset in any way.

Yeah, I have other parishioners in the hospital -

the three ladies who were in the bus that Jim was driving.

I should see how they are.

Can I ask you how well you know Jim?

Fairly well. Why?

Do you know if he has any mental health issues at all?

He's bipolar, but he keeps it under control with medication.

Do you think he may have stopped taking it recently?

No, he takes it.

Well, how do you know? I mean, for sure?

I just know.

You're not doing the actual operation, are you,

cutting me open and replumbing me aortic thingy?

Er, no, that'll be done by a consultant and a registrar.

Thank God for that!

Can you imagine, young Arthur up to his elbows in me tubes?

No, Arthur's a great doctor.

Just messing with you.

Well, I hope it goes well.

And I called your grandson, but there was no answer,

so I just left a message.

Nah, he ain't coming. Daft lump.

Dean couldn't find his way out of a shopping bag.

Here, Arthur, just in case I don't come back out -

one piece of advice from an old man - you only get one pop.

So grab the bull by his...whatsits. All right?

Bull's whatsits. Grab them. Got it!

He's never going to ask her, is he? Silly pudding.

-If you never ask, you never know. Am I right?

-Exactly.

God, if I had my time over again...

I'd sleep around all over the place.

Me too.

See, when women say that most men are insensitive idiots -

I don't think they take on board the full range of their stupidity.

That's not good.

You want me to sit Chrissie down and tell her why it was all right

that you lied to her about her son having a heart condition.

-Yes, but I didn't lie.

-You lied.

-Only by omission.

-What are you now, a Cabinet Minister?

I was only...

Trying to save your daughter's life. Yes. We all get that.

Except Chrissie.

Who thinks you were playing fast and loose with her son's life.

I just want you to explain to her how insignificant a PFO

-hole in the heart really is...

-Right, and maybe she'll forgive you?

-Yes.

-No.

-What?

No. I don't think that it's a good idea that

I give Chrissie a heart lecture.

Please.

Mo...she won't listen to me.

Don't make me do this, Sacha.

Can someone please get the priest out of here?

I just thought you'd want to know that the three ladies are all OK.

Just a bit bruised and a bit shocked.

They think that you crashed the bus on purpose.

Are you taking your meds?

What difference would that make to you? Eh?

-What is going on here?!

-I'm sorry. We were just...

This is a surgical ward. It's the middle of the night.

I've got vulnerable patients in here.

Yeah, like me. I'm a vulnerable patient, aren't I, Father?

I'm a lost sheep who's strayed from the flock.

I'm trying to run a busy ward full of sick patients,

I don't need any more drama.

Aha! And then, enter two police officers, stage left.

As the plot thickens!

Sorry, guys, these gentlemen want to speak to Jim about the crash.

Will you visit me in prison, Father? I hope I have a dishy cell mate.

Maybe someone who looks like Dr Valentine here would be nice.

Jim, please.

Do you want to get it over with now or I can ask them to come back?

Ooh, no, never give up the chance to get up close

and personal to a man in uniform, eh?

Until we know the full extent of his injuries,

he shouldn't really be talking to anyone.

Listen, why don't I have a word with them?

-It was my minibus. My church.

-I don't need you to save me, Father.

Yes, you do.

What you did was unbelievably stupid and unbelievably dangerous.

You could've been killed.

Well, I'll have to try harder next time.

Is there somewhere private where I can talk to them?

Yes, I'll show you.

Yes, Father Pete, let dishy Dr Valentine show you.

Aw, that's brilliant. How do you get the eyeliner so straight?

What do you think, Mum?

You look beautiful.

Chrissie! Chrissie. What's happening!?

-It's all right.

-Chrissie! Mum!

It's all right, stay calm.

-ALARM BUZZES

-Doctor! Sacha! Doctor!

Keep looking at me. Helen, pass me the tissues.

-My baby, please! Rachel!

-Shut up! And get me the tissues.

It's OK, just look at me.

-Oh, please, please! Rachel. Oh, my baby.

-Get Sacha NOW!

Sacha!

It's all right. Just keep looking at me.

You choosing to come back to work isn't just your choice.

No.

In here you are surrounded by vulnerable

and sometimes frankly infuriating people.

You have to be able to cope.

-I know.

-I have to be convinced that you can cope.

Of course.

Which means our psychiatric consultant has to be convinced.

-And I've been seeing her.

-Yes, but not saying much.

Well...

I think, after yesterday, perhaps a few more sessions would be in order.

-Yeah, OK.

-Starting first thing tomorrow?

-First thing?

-End of shift. Before you go home.

You see, according to Dr Kozinsky, in cases like yours, if feelings

aren't verbally expressed then they may unfortunately get acted out.

-OK. I'll see her.

-Yes.

-Oh, and

-I

-assigned Junior Doctor Wilde to your care this evening.

What is this, some sort of test?

Oh, if that's how it turns out, then, yes. A test.

We think it's Gram-negative septicaemia.

We're going to run platelets and FFPs just to try and stabilise her.

Is she going to be OK?

Come here. Of course she is.

I mean, she's not out of the woods.

But give her a little time, she'll fight back.

She's a Levy after all.

I'm sorry, visiting hours are over.

My grandad's here, Thomas Potter?

I just want to say good night. Couple of minutes?

Yes, of course! Dean! Hello.

Yes, he was very much looking forward to seeing you.

-Where is he?

-I'm afraid if you'd have arrived a bit earlier...

-What?

-After examination earlier this evening,

we discovered an abdominal aortic aneurysm.

They are dangerous at most times, but especially with old people.

He's gone?!

He got called in for an operation - luckily for him,

it all happened very quickly.

He really was ill? None of us believed him.

He was for ever pulling the alarm cord in his bungalow.

Moaning at the warden. We just assumed he was attention seeking.

Well, um, you'll probably want to get off home.

Right. I can't see him?

No. Sorry. That's not allowed.

Sorry.

You OK?

Yeah. Thanks. I feel a bit weird.

I've never really lost anyone in my life - not close anyway, until now.

Quite lucky, I suppose.

Arthur, who died?

Nobody.

My grandad. Thomas Potter.

Your grandad's not dead.

Yes, he is. You just told me.

No, he's having an operation upstairs.

Oh, no, he'll be down later.

-I think...I'd like a sit-down.

-Yes, of course.

I look such a wreck.

You must be worn out.

I didn't think I had any tears left in me.

What you do with the make-up with Rachel, it's very sweet.

I wanted you to be the wicked stepmum, all poison apples

and floors to mop.

There's plenty of work still to be done.

I wanted them to hate you -

tell me stories of what an airhead blonde chav you were.

And did they?

A little bit. At first.

Mainly because they knew that's what I wanted to hear -

make me happy after I'd missed them all weekend.

It's easy for you when they stay over, you get to be the fun ones.

Being the bad guy all the time can get wearing.

They are always fiercely defensive of their mother. Believe me.

Good girls!

I'm the bad guy too.

Tends to be that way with Sacha.

I know. I remember.

Was that what happened?

Oh, no, no. Of course not.

Even I can't make him the bad guy. It's just not possible.

He just wasn't the right guy. I wanted...

No, I NEEDED something more.

It was hell at the time but it was the right thing to do.

I look at you both now...

We can do this, Chrissie, you and me.

And Sacha - together. Bring up our children. Be a family.

Don't worry, Jim. Won't take long.

I don't like it in here. It's like being in a coffin.

Or a closet, I suppose. Suffocating.

How long have you known Father Western?

Ha! How did you work that one out?

Yeah, he more or less told me.

Known him two years. Lived with him for a year.

I know. I'm a glutton for punishment.

And I'm not even a Catholic. What was I thinking?

He got the police off your back.

Talked them into not pressing charges.

Yeah...

It was church land so the police couldn't do anything anyway.

I really don't like it in here.

Hi. I'll get the pictures sent straight up

but it looks like there's some factures on the ribs.

Let me see.

That the gorgeous Dr Valentine with you?

Must know Ms Campbell very well to be able to ask a favour.

No, not really.

Let me just do a shift on Darwin, Ms Campbell.

Check it out?

Check him out.

Yeah, I'm not with you. What are you...?

What I'm saying is, you being here on Darwin is no accident.

No, it isn't. I asked to come up here.

-To be her eyes?

-Serena Campbell's?

Her spy? Just in case I go over the line.

Dr Valentine, I don't know...

Sorry to disturb you.

That's fine. Just gathering my thoughts.

I just thought you might like to know we've got Jim's CT scan back.

And?

He's got a couple of broken ribs and there's an internal bleed.

So he'll need an operation, but he should be OK.

Thank you.

He seems like a bit of a troubled soul to me.

He's a very different person when he's on his medication.

Very different.

The next-of-kin box on his form...

Jim said he's got no-one he can put in it.

So no family, no loved ones - is that really the case?

It's complicated.

I've just had a call from theatre about Mr Potter's aneurysm.

It's all done?

He's not?

Let me do some doctoring, I bet you I can.

I could have been a doctor, you know.

Mr Howson, it's absolutely imperative you lie down still,

until we can operate.

How about I operate on myself? I bet you I could!

Come on, Jim, into bed, you heard the doctor!

You trying to get me into bed, Father?

What will your parishioners think?

-You'll make it worse.

-How could this get any worse?

-I mean, you'll injure yourself.

-Oh, get off me!

-Shhh. Shhh! Come on.

-Shush yourself! I'm sick of you shushing me.

OK, that's enough!

OK, Mr Howson, into bed.

HE MOANS AND COUGHS

I'm here, Jim. You're not alone. I'm here, I'm here to help you.

You can't help me.

-I know this was all because of me.

-Oh, don't flatter yourself!

That's enough, Father, would you leave, please?

-You're upsetting the patient.

-It's OK. I'll...

-Now!

JIM SOBS

I'm sorry. Bet I messed up all your make-up.

It's all right. We'll do it a million times over.

Did I look like a vampire?

Oh, yes! Yes, my beautiful, blood-sucking, garlic-hating vampire.

They say your platelet count's improving

and the infection is getting under control.

You're going to be OK!

-Fingers crossed.

-Toes crossed.

-Everything's looking positive.

Group hug, I think. Yes?

Come on.

Oh, no!

Can you just give me a minute?

You have to help me.

You haven't told him yet?

I can't. After last time. Our little misunderstanding...

-Oh, Arthur!

-All right. Yes. I'll do it. I know, yes.

I just wanted to drop this off.

They had it in the all-night shop round the corner,

-I couldn't resist it.

-Right.

Can I tie it to the end of his bed? He'll hate it. Be a great wind-up!

Could I just have a word with you?

He hates anything that draws attention.

On his birthday I bought him a birthday cake

and stuck 82 candles on it and got all the old women

in his sheltered housing to sing Happy Birthday.

-That's lovely but...

-Nearly burst a blood vessel!

I'm afraid your grandfather...

I know he loves to play the grumpy old sod. But actually he's...

..died, is dead.

-What?!

-I'm very sorry.

-You taking the...?

-No. I'm sorry.

You're sure? Cos first he's dead and then he's alive.

And then he's dead again?

I'm afraid he really is dead this time.

He passed away after the operation, in the recovery room.

It would have been very peaceful.

Was he alone... when he died - my grandad?

Not that he would've really cared if I'd been here but...

He don't think he'd have felt anything...really.

I think he would have just slipped away.

I very much doubt if he was aware if there was anyone there or not.

Can I have a minute?

Of course. Of course, yeah.

Great!

Do you know if Mr Howson's been taken for any more tests?

Not as far as I'm aware.

Any sign?

No, sorry. Have you tried asking his boyfriend?

Father Pete.

-Hey.

-Hey.

Do you mind if I...?

-What you saw earlier with Michael...

-It's none of my business.

Correct.

Actually, it was Daniel I wanted to talk to you about.

One in four children is born with a hole in their heart.

It's so totally common

and so benign that we don't even treat it these days.

It's completely symptomless.

And if treatment were ever needed for a child like Daniel,

-it'd be years down the line.

-I don't believe this!

And even then, the treatment wouldn't be surgical,

-it'd be purely medication.

-Did he put you up to this?

Go and tell Chrissie how nothing a hole in the heart is.

I...

GRUNTING

Jim. What are you doing? Everyone's looking for you.

I'm going home. I'm packing my bags. And then I'm leaving.

Don't do this now. We can talk about this later.

You've been saying that for two years. "We'll talk about it."

But we never do, do we? We just brush it all under the carpet.

I'm not ashamed of who I am, but my vocation means...

I know! I know what it means! I've always known.

And I thought I could live with it, but I can't.

You've stop taking your meds, haven't you?

Jim, you need to come back to the ward right now.

Because I wanted to feel something real for a change.

I thought it might make me feel like me again.

What the hell's he doing out of bed?!

Yes, he knows! We're coming.

Ah, just the man I'm looking for. There's female patient on Keller

who's seems very keen to see a priest.

-I can't.

-I believe it's a matter of some urgency.

Bye, Pete.

Everything all right?

Fine. It's all under control.

We met online, said he was a social worker.

It took him three months to drop the bombshell.

I should've run for the hills at that point,

but by then it was too late - head over heels.

I don't know what I was expecting.

I put it all down to my adolescent fixation with The Thorn Birds.

HE WHEEZES

Jim, you OK? Try and breathe.

It's OK, it's OK. I need assistance here! Dr Valentine!

It's a haemopneumothorax. He needs an emergency chest drain!

Page Professor Hope. Find Dr Valentine!

It's OK, Jim. It's all right, sit back. Try and breathe.

Try and breathe. There you go. Don't move. OK, I'm getting help.

-What on earth is it now?

-He can't breathe properly.

I think a rib might have punctured a lung.

OK. If you'd just stayed in bed...like you were told,

waited for theatre, none of this would have happened.

-Get off me.

-I've got 1% lignocaine.

-Good.

Some air and blood has escaped from your lungs into the chest cavity.

We need to release it so you can breath properly.

-Roll over for me, please.

-No. No. Get off me. Get off me! Get off!

-Jim. Just let him do...

-Ahh!

OK. OK, fine. You want me to get off. I will.

That's it. OK, I'm off. Suit yourself.

-You brought this entirely on yourself.

-Dr Valentine!

This is totally your fault. You smashed up a bus,

hurt innocent people.

Enough bad things happen to good people without doing it to yourself.

-Dr Valentine, you need to do this now!

-No.

People die in here all the time.

People who don't want to, don't deserve to die, but you...

Dr Valentine! I can't do this by myself. I'm not qualified.

Then don't do it.

WHEEZING CONTINUES

It's all right, stay still.

Right. OK, right.

I need you to stay still for me, yeah?

OK. Right, we're going to do this, yeah?

We are all good. OK, it's all right.

OK, you're doing really well, Jim.

OK.

It's fine, you're doing really well.

Jim? I need you to cough for me, yeah? I need you to cough.

HE COUGHS

WHEEZING STOPS

Would you like a cup of tea?

It's just the shock, isn't it?

Hearing one thing, then another.

Do you...want a balloon?

If it's Tommy Potter's balloon, then, yeah, definitely!

Did you...know...?

-Tommy? Not for long enough!

-Do you get a chance to...?

-Talk to him? Oh, yeah.

-I know, he could be a bit...

He was a good laugh, your grandad.

-He rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way.

-No! Tommy?

They didn't always get his sense of humour.

-Ah, he was lovely.

-Grandad Tommy was never lovely!

Well...yeah, I mean...

Wry. He had a very wry sense of humour.

Yeah. I like wry.

-He loved you.

-Don't be daft.

He did go on about you a lot.

Well, it wouldn't have been saying anything very nice.

You'd be surprised.

He said, in a tight corner, you'd be his go-to-guy.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, he did.

And he gave us some advice to give to you.

-To me?

-Yes.

"You only get one pop."

"So grab the bull by the...whatsits."

He'd always say that.

"Dean, my son, go out there and grab the bull by the whatsits."

HE LAUGHS

Here you go.

Cheers.

Good luck, Tommy.

What happened?

A fractured rib punctured his lung.

Oh, Jim.

He's had to have an emergency drain, but he's stable,

and he's booked in for surgery to have the lung repaired.

I should have been here. He shouldn't have been on his own.

You were helping a dying woman.

We just patch 'em up and send 'em on,

you have to look after their souls 24/7.

That's a...that's a pretty big responsibility.

-So is being someone's...

-Next of kin?

Exactly.

You're really not getting the message, are you?

You wearing your civvies?

Oh, God, no. Tell me you haven't given up the priesthood?

I don't want you to do that.

Not yet. Why?

Because it's who you are, you stupid git.

I may not get it, but some poor old lady was lying there dying today,

and you were able to give her peace and kindness and reassurance.

That's something to be proud of.

You know, when you take your meds, you're still you.

You're just a you that functions better.

JIM CHUCKLES

What's your point?

I'm Father Western, the priest, and I always will be.

But I'm also Pete.

A man who loves his partner..

...and is trying to figure out how to be better at it.

It's a compromise.

I know God accepts me, but the church won't.

It's not perfect.

But I'd rather have half my life with you than none of it.

That's the best I can offer.

I walk into a ward where an F1, who is under your mentor-ship

and care, is performing an emergency chest drain -

a procedure she's not qualified to perform

unless properly supervised by a more senior doctor,

namely, you.

Were you there, Dr Valentine...

..supervising?

Did you give your permission to proceed?

Had you been made aware that the procedure was necessary?

No.

Chantelle?

You heading home too?

Yes. No. Maybe.

I don't know, that depends, I was going to ask you...

Are you OK? Why are you being all...?

W-w-what?

All Arthur with me.

You said yourself. It's just a joke.

What is?

You and me. Doctors and nurses.

Open your eyes, Arthur.

I really, really like you. And we have such a laugh at work.

And I think you're very sweet.

But?

I like being your friend.

-HE SIGHS

-"Your friend."

I really like being your friend.

You like being my friend?

Not...?

No.

Go home, Arthur.

It's Rachel's bloods, they're looking very good.

She definitely on the mend. INR's improving.

The girl's practically Wonder Woman.

I can't do this.

Chrissie...

I can't. I'm sorry.

I can't.

Rachel's getting so much better. And Daniel's fine.

I'm not.

Just, just sleep on it. I mean, you're probably tired.

I know I am.

Come with me back to Oncology.

I've booked a cab.

You heading home?

I'm leaving.

Chrissie, look, I know it's been traumatic the last few...

I just need some time to think.

Where are you going to go?

I've rung my dad.

In Melbourne?

We're going to go and visit.

A visit?!

Yes. Me and Daniel. Not permanently.

Chrissie, this is crazy.

You can say goodbye to us here or... walk us to the door.

-Serena says I've got to be here.

-That's right.

You told her that if I don't talk I'll only act out my feelings.

-Do you have any feelings, Oliver?

-What?

At the moment? Do you have any feelings?

I don't understand.

It's a simple question. Do you have feelings?

HE TUTS

I'm not asking what sort of feelings, or what colour,

or how big. Simply, do you have any feelings at all?

Grief over the loss of a loved one can start a tsunami of feelings.

You know the roll call. Denial, anger, depression...yada, yada.

Agreed?

Or...grief can cause a paralysis of feelings.

Nothing. A great howling void of nothingness.

So I'd like to try something.

A technique.

Humour me.

CLOCK TICKS

Do you feel anything?

Do you know why I married you?

I ask myself that every day.

Because I trusted you. I never pick trustworthy men. But you...

You were secure, adoring, dependable...

..and I knew you would love me for ever.

Because you, in your stupid Sacha brain,

-thought I was too good for you.

-You are.

I trusted you, but you don't trust me, do you?

Did you really think I would let Rachel die?

I thought I knew you would never leave me,

you would never lie to me, and you would never hurt me.

-Never.

-But you did.

Am I so bad? I fought for my daughter.

I love my son.

I try every day to provide for you and I love you.

I can't be in this marriage for Daniel's sake. For the girls'.

I have to be in it because I want to, otherwise it's no good for anyone.

What I loved...loved about you was that I could trust you.

And now, I can't.

ENGINE STARTS

HE SOBS

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