Serena and Edward arrive at work loved-up and energised, but does trouble lurk in paradise? Mo tries to summon the courage to take a Christmas gift.
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Let's stop messing around and go back to mine.
I know you need to be on good terms with your ex-wife
for your daughter's sake but... come on, we can still be friends.
Sweetheart, listen... this is not going to happen.
I need you to back off now.
-Sats deteriorating. We're losing her.
Bronchospasm. Salbutamol, Nurse Carter, quickly.
I asked Nurse Carter for Oxacillin. She gave me the wrong drug.
Dr Tressler, did you see what happened?
-'Am I missing a piece of the jigsaw here?
'Cos I don't like fighting blind.'
-I slept with him.
-'You mess with my nurses, you mess with me.'
HE SINGS ALONG TO MARIAH CAREY: # I just want you for my own!
# More than you can ever know!
# Make my dreams come true!
# All I want for Christmas
# Is you! #
Yeah, you never could sing in tune.
And I was thinking you'd be impressed by my spontaneous outpouring of love.
All I want for Christmas is something large, sparkling
and set in 24-carat gold.
Well, there's Santa. You can always ask him.
KNOCKING ON WINDOW
Sorry, Ms Campbell?
-A quick word about the carols, if I may?
-Yes, of course.
Nice car. Did he get it last Christmas?
-Oh, look what I found!
< You're such an idiot. What is that?
Right, um, I've got you down for tomorrow and Boxing Day, right?
Nope. Vetoed by Elliot.
So it's turkey twizzlers and party fun at his house. Can't wait.
So who is working, then?
What about open house at the Effangas'?
Er, Cluedo, and eggnog and enough mince pies to feed the 5,000?
Yeah, I thought I'd give it a rest this year.
But you love all that stuff!
It gets a bit boring being good old Auntie Mo.
My family think all I'm good for is peeling spuds
and entertaining other people's kids.
You know, every year, I think, "That'll be me," you know,
next year, married, engaged even.
But here we go again, Christmas Eve and no sign of Prince Charming.
Well, it's not too late, if you just wish hard enough.
Well, if I find Denzel in my stocking, I'll let you know.
FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS Thank you. Merry Christmas.
-For your poor unfortunates.
-Thank you very much, Edward.
Oh, can I sign you up for the Christmas Eve singing?
-Free mince pies and mulled wine?
-Tempting as that sounds,
we have to leave once our shifts are over.
Why? I've already said yes.
You forgot the sugar.
Oh, Harry, can I sign you up for the carols?
-Sorry, Prof, really busy day.
-Good morning, Professor.
-Good morning, Nurse O'Flaherty.
But hey, er... I'll give up my break.
-It's for a good cause and all that.
-Oh, thank you.
At least, er, someone understands the importance of community spirit.
See you later.
It's only dinner. A few carols won't make a difference.
Yes, but we're going out to dinner here.
-Right, but this is in the Cotswolds.
Which is why we have to leave on time.
-Three days away.
-But what about Ellie and my mother?
Your mum's staying at Jennifer's.
Ellie's coming with us. It's all taken care of.
Christmas in the Cotswolds.
Just the three of us. No stress. No work. Just us.
# Let it snow, let it snow... #
-Margie Bennett. 68 years old.
-Got a bit of a cough. That's all.
She was found asleep on the night bus
and someone brought her into ED.
Temperature's 37. She's complaining of chills and a cardiac murmur.
-Nothing wrong with my heart.
-I'll be the judge of that.
I went out last night, had a few drinks,
snogged this bloke, probably picked up something from him.
-Well, it is Christmas after all, Ms Naylor.
And I've got just as much right to have a good time as anyone else!
70's the new 50, if you hadn't heard.
Not if you drop dead from heart failure.
Not staying. Christmas Eve's a big night.
Spent a fortune on my Santa outfit.
Well, statistically, you are more likely to die at Christmas
than other time of the year, but if you want to risk it.
Better make it quick, then.
What am I going to do with all the shopping?
I bought enough food to feed an army.
Elinor's packing it into the freezer.
I told you, I've got everything covered.
You always were alarmingly good at subterfuge.
-Can I help you, Ms Sheward?
I'd like a word with Nurse Carter.
Yes, wouldn't we all? But I can't see her.
Don't worry, she'll turn up, eventually.
I'm not worried.
Dr Digby! You're a charitably-minded soul.
-Right, OK, no, if it's about the carols.
-Yes, it is.
-And I'm sure you and Dr March have wonderful singing voices.
No, absolutely not, no. Tone deaf, you know!
I was banned from the school nativity for putting people off.
-Don't call me that!
I thought it'd be nice if we spent it together as a family.
OK. Boxing Day?
OK, fine. I get it.
Well, this is for you anyway.
I don't want anything from you.
It's not from me. It's from Mum.
She wanted you to have it on Christmas Eve.
BEEP! 'Doors opening.'
'Lift going up.'
You shouldn't have. Didn't think I'd be on your Christmas list.
Present from a grateful patient.
Wait a minute.
I, er... I got this for you. It's your favourite perfume.
To say sorry for, you know...the confusion.
There is no "confusion". We both know exactly what happened.
Please, let's not go over this again You... You have to let it go.
I don't have to do anything!
Give it to Serena.
HE UNSCREWS THE BOTTLE
-Yo, Ms Campbell's asking for you.
-No, no, no!
Great. Now smile.
The patients love it!
Mr Scanlon... Oh, sorry! ..Noel! >
This is Dr Digby. He's going to be looking after you today.
Now, Mr Scanlon took a tumble
whilst trying to fix his electrical problem with his Christmas lights.
Admitted as a precaution,
because he's been complaining about intermittent abdominal pain.
This year, I've got 40,000 lights
delivering a 20 minute, computer controlled spectacular.
-Sorry, 40,000 lights? On your house?
-Isn't it awesome?
Mum started the tradition.
It began with just a row of icicles on the guttering.
Now we've got a Ferris wheel, a life-size nativity,
-Any polar bears?
-One giant one on the roof.
-Daniel loves polar bears!
Aw! Listen, I'm picking him up later. I'll drive by with the girls.
Usually, 100 to 150 cars on Christmas Eve,
so I really do need to get home.
Well, look, after Dr Digby's checked you over,
and everything's fine, then...you're good to go!
You've got a connection fault.
New admission. Sam Chandler. 34. Found collapsed in the mall car park.
He's got a fever of 38,
-nauseous, still waiting for his medical records.
-I feel fine now.
He was in a great deal of pain. Could hardly move.
Has this happened before? ..Can I have a torch, please?
Thank you. ..Do you mind?
Any health concerns or history we should know about?
Just tired. Been working too hard.
-Got three kids.
-Your eyes do look a little jaundiced.
Not necessarily anything to worry about,
but it can be a useful warning sign. I'd like to run some tests.
It's Christmas Eve! My wife's on her own with the kids!
-I haven't got half the presents yet!
-It shouldn't take long.
-I'll come back.
-HE GRUNTS IN PAIN
Ah, Mr Chandler, please, lie down.
That's it, legs up. Thank you.
Right, I'm going to need to examine you, all right?
Ah, there's some swelling here and...
the gall bladder feels enlarged. I would strongly advise you stay.
-Anyone you'd like us to call? Your wife?
-No. I'll call her myself.
Er, I'd like a chest and abdo X-ray. FBCs, U & Es and LFTs.
Glucose, amylase and calcium.
We'll do our best to speed things through for you. Harry?
Just, um, keep a close eye on him for me, will you?
Of course, Ms Campbell. Not going to miss a trick today.
-Never mind all that! Just give me some drugs!
Where's the bog, then? I'm desperate for a pee!
Actually, I really need you to shut up and stay still for five seconds.
Oi! I'm the customer here. You need to learn some manners.
Right, I can definitely hear a heart murmur.
My dog had one of those. Didn't do him any harm.
Your heartbeat has an extra sound caused by disturbed blood flow.
We just need to investigate further.
It could be alcoholic cardiomyopathy.
You cheeky cow! Just cos I like a few drinks!
That's just one of several possibilities.
A highly probable one, given your lifestyle.
You've been looking down your nose ever since I got here!
And you're no better than you should be,
you skinny-faced ginger cow!
Up the duff! No wedding ring? You have something to say, say it!
-Rotting mutton dressed as lamb comes to mind.
-You. Bed. Now!
-I can handle her.
-Brawling in your third trimester is off limits.
Or haven't you got to that chapter yet?
Leave Granny Godzilla to me, yeah?
Off to do my stint as a cherubic choirboy.
-Those days are long gone.
-Well, so are yours, as the Virgin Mary!
You can pretend all you like that nothing's happened, Harry,
but it's not OK.
It'll never be OK.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
LOUD CRASH MAN: Oh...
-Oh, just a second.
-You OK? You OK?
-Oh, no. I hurt myself!
You got a bloke?
It's hard to find time to meet anyone in this job.
You want to get out to Kavos.
It's not just for teenagers, you know.
Hot blokes! Up for anything!
Even YOU might get some!
While I'm here, maybe you could take a look...down there.
Been having a few problems with my lady bits.
I don't know how I'm going to get packed in time. Scissors, please.
-Um, Ms Campbell?
I'm so sorry, but Sam Chandler's gone.
-There was a drunk on the ward. I only turned my back for a second.
But I specifically asked you to keep an eye on him!
I know, I'm on the case.
I know that look.
-It's nothing. Forget it.
-Don't give me that.
-Come on, spit it out.
-You know me - live and let live.
It's just that Mary-Claire
never seems to have her eye on the ball these days.
She's late, she's sloppy, she makes mistakes. Serious mistakes.
She's a liability.
-FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS, HE LAUGHS
-Tell me I'm hallucinating.
# Merry Christmas, everyone! #
-How are you?
-Can you turn that off, please?
-There are people trying to die!
-We all love a bit of Shaky, right?
For Elliot's charity - £1 a play. Any Christmas song you like.
-I'll pay you not to play any of them.
-Mr T! HE SWITCHES IT OFF
Well, I best be off, friends.
I've still got lots of toys to make in the workshop!
Mr Self called for you, but he'll call again.
OK, thank you.
Right, patient review on Keller. Got an irregular rhythm.
-Can I go? Please?
-Yes, be my guest.
Ah, Mrs Bennett! Let's take a look at you, shall we?
I don't want an elf looking up me wotsit!
Oh, well, we elves make excellent doctors, you know.
Oh, yeah, due to our magical abilities! Ha-ha!
Legs akimbo, please.
# Have a holly, jolly Christmas And when you walk down the street
# Say hello to friends you know and everyone you meet... #
Yeah, Chandler. So you'll hold the dinosaur?
Yeah, I'm coming now.
-15 minutes max.
-HE GRUNTS IN PAIN
-OK, come on. Let's get you back inside, mate.
-You're burning up!
-Josh wants a dinosaur! They're holding it!
-I have to get there!
-You can try, but you'll just
end up back in an ambulance if you don't let us help you.
-Come on, let's go back in, yeah? SOFTLY:
He had a raised cardiac rhythm. Probably nothing,
but post electrocution, I thought we should check it out.
Well, I'm grateful for the escape. It's like Santa's Grotto on Darwin.
Desperate for a bit of pain and misery.
Ah, probably not your ideal patient, then.
Thought I'd cheer the place up a bit. I've got a spare!
It'll make you look more festive.
Low level current can affect cardiac rhythm,
-so we'll need to order an ECG.
-But I need to get home.
-Any shortness of breath, Mr Scanlon?
-Please, call me Noel.
I was born at Christmas, hence the name.
So was my mother Natalie,
from the original Latin, Natalia, meaning Christmas Day,
so it's always been a big thing for both of us.
Hmm, yes, I think Christmas is a meaningless farce.
So I'd really appreciate it if you could just answer my questions
-and let me get on with my job.
-Bit harsh, maybe?
I'll arrange the ECG.
Ah, panic over. Harry found Mr Chandler outside.
White blood count's raised.
Bilirubin, glucose and amylase likewise.
-Where's his X-ray?
-Well, he missed his slot.
Because someone wasn't doing their job properly.
I was rushed off my feet!
And now this vulnerable patient needs urgent treatment.
-It could've happened to anyone.
But as Mr Campbell reminded me,
there's a very long list of your mistakes.
Your little walkabout was not a good idea.
Just give me something to deal with the pain.
Not possible until we know exactly what's causing it.
I'll come back, Boxing Day.
We need to scan you, then we'll take a view.
-I don't need a scan!
-Oh, humour us, please, Mr Chandler.
-A CT scan will take half an hour tops.
-That's too long!
I need to be with my family!
I'll sign anything!
Take full responsibility.
But there may be some serious underlying cause.
I know the underlying cause!
Your scan identified some abscesses on your heart tissue.
-It could be something called endocarditis.
-Is it serious?
-Then I'm going.
-I would thoroughly recommend
you stay for further investigation, just to be sure.
Oh, no! It's that bleeding Elf again!
Mind you... he's got lovely soft hands.
-You fancy him!
-Me? No way!
Good, cos I reckon he's gay.
And even if he isn't, you can never trust blokes who like a costume!
They end up wearing your knickers and calling themselves Daphne.
Just give me some antibiotics, elf boy!
There's going to be loads of blokes at the party tonight!
I don't want to miss out.
She might want to take a rain check on that, you know.
-She's got gonorrhoea.
-What?! She's your patient!
-All right, call security if this gets messy.
Got some results for you.
Right, this is very rare, but the bacteria in your heart tissue
is related to another infection.
Now, er, we realise this must come as bit of a shock to you...
Nah, I've had the clap a couple of times!
I blame the blokes in Kavos. They don't like wearing johnnies.
Ah! Well, for someone with such an active sex life,
you really should think about using protection and...
This is hilarious! Getting sex advice from a bleeding elf!
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Where the hell have you been?
Er... HE LAUGHS
-You think you've seen it all.
-Yeah, and then you meet a Margie.
I've just spoken to your oncologist.
As you know, your pancreatic cancer is fairly advanced.
And it's going to kill me. Very soon.
Which is why I have to get out of here.
You'd be leaving against medical advice.
I just need something to take the edge off.
Well, there's the possibility of doing a palliative bypass,
which would mean surgery and some weeks of recovery.
And then I die anyway.
-If you leave now, the pain could be hard to cope with.
I'll handle it.
I understand how important this Christmas is,
but if you need treatment, surely your wife would want you to have it?
She doesn't know.
-I was diagnosed two weeks ago.
I've got three months. Maybe six.
I was going to tell her.
But then, I thought, why not just have one last Christmas?
Me and the kids smiling in the photographs.
That's not going to be easy, Sam.
I know I can do it!
But I need your help.
I thought you wanted to be friends, make everything hunky dory?
-So why are you stirring things with the missus?
All I want is for you to be sensible.
I liked you, do you know that? How stupid was I?
Sweetheart, I was fond of you too. I still am.
I wonder what Serena would say if she knew how fond of me you really were.
-Have you picked up Mr Chandler's scans from oncology?
Not yet. Just having a catch up with Mr Campbell.
Am I going to have to get them myself?
You have an aura of sadness about you.
Your ECG's results are fine.
-Like the ones in the ED.
-I can see it. It's like a dark green glow.
I don't think the abdominal pain you're experiencing
is related to the electrocution.
I inherited the ability to see auras from my mother. Now Mr Levy...
His aura's yellow. The sign of optimism and hopefulness.
But dark green indicates resentment,
feeling like a victim of the world, blaming self or others.
We need to order you a CT scan,
see if there's another cause unrelated to your accident.
My mother inherited healing powers too,
but I don't think I've got the gift.
If your mother has such amazing insight,
why doesn't she treat you instead of me?
She passed away five years ago.
-I carry on the Christmas traditions in her memory.
I will book your CT.
Are you on board for a little rogue malpractice?
Mary-Claire's finally dropped off Mr Chandler's scans.
-I'd say three months is optimistic.
Yes, he should be admitted. No question, but...
-I'd be prepared to go out on a limb, if you are.
-What are you suggesting?
A therapeutic ERCP should allow the bile to drain sufficiently
to ease his pain and, well, get him through tomorrow at least.
-Let's do it.
-Good. I will get them to rearrange theatre.
-Can I have a word in private?
-Sure, I'll just... I'll meet you in the office?
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, about your mother.
I'm sorry you feel so sad.
They're not quite ready for us.
You don't have to wait.
My mother died in April.
Sorry. I don't usually talk about it.
Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers.
This is my first Christmas without her.
She was Polish, so Christmas Eve was always really important.
Wiglia - the traditional Polish Christmas Eve supper.
You eat fish, traditionally carp, with little bits of hay spread
beneath the tablecloth as a reminder that Christ was born in a stable.
How did you know that?
I know the Christmas traditions of every country in the world.
I could be on Mastermind.
I really miss her.
It gets easier.
Oh, sorry. They've got a temp booking theatre slots. What is it?
Edward, you're worrying me now.
The thing is, I should've told you about this before.
-Told me what?
We had a thing, a brief...
Course you did.
Well, you didn't want anything to do with me. It was nothing.
The point is that she seems to have expected it
to have developed into something more
and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
The reason I'm telling you this,
because I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose you.
I think there's nothing she wouldn't do to discredit me right now.
I need to tell Mr Chandler the good news.
-Mr Campbell, they're waiting for you in the anaesthetics room.
Ladies and gentleman,
as part of our Holby Goes Ho Ho Ho at Christmas Campaign,
I will play you any song you like from this list for £1.
Get you in the festive spirit! What do you think? Anybody?
What about you, Margie? Come on! You like a party, don't you?
Yeah, but I can't stand all that Bing Crosby, Cliff Richard garbage.
At least have a look at the list, will you?
All right, I'll give you a quid for that one.
But you've got to do the actions.
-It's not very Christmassy, though, is it?
-But it's for charity.
MUSIC: "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Tom Jones
# Baby, take off your coat... #
# ..real slow! #
Mr Thompson, just Christmas songs from now on, please. Thank you.
-That was really nice.
Have you ever seen Edward drinking at work?
-I saw him just now with a bottle of vodka.
Look, come on! I know you don't like the bloke,
but this paranoia is getting a tad tedious.
Tedious? Well, thanks again for all your support, Harry.
It's really much appreciated.
Oh, you forgot the next of kin bit.
If I put my wife down, will she need to know the truth?
No, but, um, it's probably a good idea to let her know where you are.
I mean, I could call her, if you like,
say you're in for a minor operation. A blocked duct or something.
I'm not averse to telling the odd porkie pie.
Never thought I'd get married, let alone have kids.
When Jess fell pregnant, I was so angry, thought my life was over...
But now, they're my world.
You're going to be OK? Not long now.
I haven't always got things right.
Which is why this Christmas had to be perfect.
Fridge full, huge pile of toys under the tree.
Couldn't even manage that.
Maybe I could.
Here, give me that list.
There's a definite blockage in the large intestine
and what appears to be a blood clot.
-But as we thought, your heart looks reasonably normal.
-Right, don't take this the wrong way, Mr Scanlon.
But you are a little on the heavy side, um...
Now that might have a bearing on the situation, um...
Could you tell us about your current diet?
This time of year, I probably eat about five Christmas dinners a week.
Maybe six. I can't help it! Shops are full of Christmas stuff.
Yule logs. Stiltons. Huge bags of sprouts.
-I love 'em. Soups. Curries. Stir fries.
And they're brilliant with a Full English.
-I probably eat them with every meal.
-That's a lot of sprouts.
-But that's a good thing, isn't it?
-Not that many, no.
-Um, sprouts are high in vitamin...
Yes! So the fatty foods have clogged up your intestine. Yes!
And it's just possible that the blood clot is linked to
an overdose of vitamin K, brought on by excess consumption of sprouts!
What? That is theoretically possible.
Thank you very much indeed. That's very, very kind of you.
-Merry Christmas to you. Thank you very much indeed.
Harry, it's me, Professor Hope.
I hear excellent reports of your singing.
I wonder if we could count on you for a solo later?
-Going to start with Silent Night.
-Sure. No problem.
-Ah, little boy, here's a present for you.
-Or, have this one.
It's much better. Trust me.
-WOMAN: What do you say?
Oh, better put this on. Ho ho ho!
Professor Hope, your sack's looking heavy.
I'm happy to off-load some of it for you, if you like.
That's very kind of you, thank you very much.
If only everyone was as public spirited as you. Ho ho ho!
I've been in this game a long time, Dr Digby, but it's fair to say
I've never encountered, ahem, a Brussels sprouts overdose before.
Process of elimination, Mr Levy.
So what happens now?
Well, you're going to need a procedure to fix your bowel,
-which means staying in overnight, I'm afraid.
-Sorry about your lights.
-Not the end of the world.
My neighbour Ted knows how it all works.
Well, I know it's not ideal, but on behalf of the ward, it would be
amazing to have the benefit of your infectious Christmas spirit
-for just a little while longer.
-Glad to be of service.
It's a hard time to be on your own.
-Everyone's in theatre. They're all asking for you.
You wouldn't give us a sip of your water, would you?
I've been dashing around like a maniac all day, dying of thirst.
I'm not well. I wouldn't want to ruin your Christmas.
It's not water, is it?
Listen, when are you going to understand?
You've got to stop making these ridiculous accusations
if you want to save your career. Nobody believes a word you say.
Well, we'll see about that, shall we?
Get out the way!
-Well, what can I say, it was the Christmas spirit!
-You shouldn't have kept your hat on.
-Hi, can I help?
-I'm Margie Bennett's niece - Nicky.
-Ah, Ms Effanga.
I've had the extraordinary experience of treating her.
-You're Nicky? She's been trying to get hold of you all day.
Yeah, don't worry. He is a real doctor.
Oh, yeah, sorry. Mr Thompson.
-I thought it was a heart problem?
Yeah, her murmur we found out was to do with, um... It was to do with...
-What was it?
She can go home later.
SHE SIGHS: My family are going to be so gutted!
-We thought we might get a year off!
I don't suppose there's any way you could just keep her in, could you?
-Excuse me, could I have a word, please?
-Sure. Excuse me.
OK, let's go into my office.
Well, I hope this is important.
One of my nurses has made an extremely serious allegation
-against Mr Campbell.
-Nurse Carter, by any chance?
What's he supposed to have done?
She believes she saw him drinking alcohol in this office.
Yes, and I believe in fairies, but it doesn't make them real.
Did she see him or didn't she?
She can't be 100% certain, which is why I came to you.
Well, I've been working with Mr Campbell all day,
-so it's completely ridiculous.
-Well, why would she lie?
Nurse Carter had a brief affair with Mr Campbell which he chose to end.
-Yes, I'm aware of that.
-If you knew the answer, why ask the question?
Anyway, she's obviously out to discredit him in any way she can.
Well, what do you suggest I do? Because I can't just ignore it.
As Deputy CEO, I am more than happy to accept full responsibility
for Mr Campbell's fitness to work.
And I would like Nurse Carter removed from my ward,
with immediate effect.
Right, time to deal with the damage done by those evil sprouts.
MUSIC: "Dominic the Donkey"
# Santa's got a little friend His name is Dominic
# The cutest little donkey You never saw him kick... #
-Please, Mr Levy.
-Maybe some carols?
No, hang on a second, wait a second.
This is the chorus! It's brilliant! It's the best bit, ready?
# Hey, jing-a-di-jing Hee-haw! Hee-haw!
# It's Dominic the donkey... # Now you!
-# Hee-haw! Hee-haw! #
OK, retractors. Come on, it's brilliant, guys!
ALL GASP AND COUGH
That is absolutely disgusting! Right, OK.
What we're going to do... We're going to get down and dirty, OK?
-Come on, Dr Digby! Sing out please! We need some light relief.
-You're going to be the donkey.
-Yes, that's it!
You're going to be the donkey, right. Yes, that's an order!
Saline and suction, please, thank you. Hey!
-# Jing-a-di-jing! #
# It's Dominic the Donkey! # Louder!
-# Jing-a-di-jing! #
Great! # Christmas Donkey! # Hey, sing!
# La, la, la
# La-la-la, la-la, la-la!
# La, la, la La-la-la, la-la, la-la! #
Aw... What a wonderful way to spend Christmas Eve!
Up to our armpits in excrement while singing top Christmas tunes!
Ah... LOUD SUCTION
Dr Digby, I take it all back!
I think that might actually be a sprout!
Give me a midazolam, a remifentanil and propofol.
We'll run propofol - remi-TCI sedation.
We were on a break. For 13 years.
-I should have told you sooner.
-Yes, you should, but I can't blame you
for taking advantage of Nurse Carter's...largesse.
Right, I want you to nip back home, pick up my Santa outfit.
Not the one with the mini-skirt, Auntie!
Bring my make up, then I can get ready here
and you can drop me at The Albert.
Don't forget my fags.
OK, um, the bed manager is hassling me about Christmas,
so is there anyone on this ward we can discharge?
Yeah, her for a start.
Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could keep her
in for observation, you know, for the chest pain.
What chest pain?
I just heard her asking for fags and planning a night of debauchery?
Exactly. We need to protect her from damaging herself further.
I want that clap-ridden old hag off my ward.
But she makes her family's life a misery.
And, to be honest, I actually quite like her.
Since when did we become a dumping ground
-for Christmas relatives from hell?
-Call it my Christmas good deed.
That elf's really got to you, hasn't he?
-What are you doing tonight?
I am leaving early and I'm going to a Beethoven recital.
That's only thing I could find that didn't involve jingle bells.
-I think you've got a more important job to do.
-I think she needs someone to spend Christmas Eve with.
She made it absolutely clear what she thinks of Christmas,
and, erm, yeah, it's not much, so...
Sometimes people say one thing, but they mean another.
Why do they do that?
OK, Sam, you are doing brilliantly. Breathing well.
-Inserting the stent now.
-All fine at my end.
You will be home for Christmas, my old son.
Mind you, Christmas isn't Christmas without Morecambe and Wise.
-It used to unite the country.
-Just a little further.
We were all gobsmacked when Angela Rippon, you know,
came out from behind a news desk with her legs up to her armpits.
-The CO2 seems quite high.
Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.
This procedure requires constant adjustment.
Every patient has, um, a different level of tolerance.
-She wears this every year?
-Every single Christmas.
-Ah, there you are.
-Yeah, I needed more caffeine
before I can face seeing Auntie Margie again.
-And is that the, erm...?
-Yes. Looks even worse on.
-Oh, come on!
-As long as she's happy - that's the main thing.
-Actually, she's not.
I've just told her she has to stay in.
Oh, thank you!
Thank you so much!
You've got no idea what this is going to mean to my family!
She's better off staying here so we can keep an eye on her.
Plus another night on the tiles is the last thing she needs.
Well, I am going to go pick up her overnight bag.
Don't let her go anywhere! See you later!
-So what do you think? Sexy or what?
-Oh, yeah, definitely. Very sexy.
Never been called sexy by an elf before.
Right. That should do it.
Can you keep the patient still, please?
-Sats falling. 80.
-I'm on it.
-His breathing's slowing.
I don't understand.
-I'm sure I...
-He's cyanotic. CO's very high, Edward.
OK, he's had too much. We're losing him.
-Get the on-call anaesthetist, please!
-No, no, no!
We have to open his airway. Every patient is different.
You need to take a break, Mr Campbell.
You don't understand. The levels are hard to assess in this procedure.
-You don't seem yourself.
I'd like you to leave my theatre, please. Now.
ALARM CONTINUES Edward...
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Yes, of course.
Turn the oxygen up.
ALARM BEEPING SLOWS
-I need a favour.
-Zosia won't accept this from me.
-But she might from you.
No, no. I really don't think that's, um...
I promised her mother that she would get it on Christmas Eve.
Right. I really don't understand. Shouldn't her mother just...?
Oh, I see. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know.
Well, Zosia's mother was Polish, you see,
so we always celebrated Christmas Eve.
This will be her first Christmas without her.
It really is important. Please.
-Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, of course, yeah.
Look, what happened in theatre, it was a warning. I need a break.
-I need you to be completely honest with me, Edward.
I put myself on the line for you today
and I need to know that I was justified.
-What are you talking about?
-Mary-Claire made an accusation
-to Ms Sheward that I dismissed out of hand.
That she'd seen you drinking.
What?! That girl has completely lost it this time.
-What next - she saw me snort cocaine off the operating table?!
It's all right, I'm on your side.
I told Colette I would take full responsibility, because I...
-I trusted you completely.
-But you don't now?
Well, why should you? My performance in theatre today was unacceptable.
I...I just felt so tired!
I feel completely exhausted.
Christmas burn-out or something.
I have not been drinking.
These weigh a bloody ton!
It's all there, plus a few more.
Santa was feeling particularly generous.
-How on earth...?
I promised the big man himself that I wouldn't breathe a word.
-WOMAN: Hey, look, guys.
-It's Daddy. Look!
-Hello, boys. What do you want?
You want to try these one? My silly antlers?
I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time.
It's just the kids were going on and on, and I started to panic.
-Why didn't you ring me?
-Just thought I'd get out of here.
But you're OK now? What did they say?
-That I can go home.
-I was so worried.
-Ah, so, you do love me, then?
And don't worry about the kids' presents, OK?
-They've enough already.
-All done and dusted.
It's going to be just how I planned.
Hi there. I need to speak to someone about one of your past employees.
MUSIC: "Fairytale of New York" by The Pogues
I'm, erm... I'm relying on you all
to join me for the big Christmas sing song.
So, er...see you... see you down there, shall I?
You put that fairy on the tree last year, you remember?
I couldn't believe you'd never decorated a tree before.
What about next year, Jonny?
Well, you'll have your own tree to decorate. For our baby.
Last chance for any requests.
Lonely This Christmas?
You and me both.
-Ah...I've never danced with an elf before.
Well... First time for everything.
-# Try to imagine... #
-Merry Christmas, Mo.
# ..a house that's not a home
# Try to imagine
# A Christmas all alone... # SHE SIGHS
# That's where I'll be since you left me
# My tears could melt the snow
# What can I do without you?
# I got no place, no place to go
# It'll be lonely this Christmas
# Without you to hold
# It'll be lonely this Christmas
# Lonely and cold
# It'll be cold, so cold
# Without you to... #
Hi. I got the on-call anaesthetist to cover the rest of my shift.
-I thought that would be best. I'm not on top form.
-You said you wanted something large and sparkling.
-It cost a fortune, but I think you're worth it.
-Stop it! Please.
Why did you leave your last job?
There's...there's a gap in your CV.
I wanted a change. I didn't like the team much.
What is this?
-I just rang them.
-You were checking up on me?
They said you were dismissed, because of your drinking.
Yeah, that's true, but that was then. Not now.
You have to believe me, Serena.
OK...then you won't mind taking a blood test?
-Darling, this is me you're talking to.
-I need to know
that you didn't recklessly put a patient in danger.
-If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to lose.
This is all the evidence you need to close this down right now.
All right, I had a couple of shots.
Come on, it's Christmas!
We both trained under surgeons who had a bottle of red every lunchtime.
And they're some of the best we've ever come across.
I'm not saying that I do that.
I'm just...trying to give this thing some perspective.
Come on, darling.
Can't we...? Can't we keep this between ourselves?
You really don't know what you've done, do you?
Right, um, so I know you said that you didn't really want this,
but, er, sometimes we really want
the things we say we don't want, or something. Um, um...
I hope it's, um, OK.
-How on earth...?
-Er, Mr Scanlon. Yeah, he seems to know
everything one could possibly want to know about Polish Christmas.
Um, so he said we had to have fish. So voila!
Er, and I got a tree, er, STOLE a tree, in fact, from Holby Care,
but they're not going to miss it, let's face it.
And, um... He also said that...
a place is laid for a relative who can't make it.
Or for someone who has recently passed away.
And this is...from your mother.
Whoosh! ..Who won?
All you right, you won, then.
Thanks so much, Ms Campbell.
-Sam says you've been brilliant.
-It's been my pleasure.
I told him he was overdoing it, but he never listens to me.
-He seems fine now, though.
-He's a lot more comfortable.
I'll make sure he gets a proper rest over Christmas.
The trouble is, the kids'll be up at five ripping open their stockings
and jumping all over our bed.
-It's complete chaos.
-That's what Christmas is all about.
You just enjoy it.
Well, it's not...not normally my sort of thing, but, yeah...
It's very lovely.
Mama gave it to me when I was two.
It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
Every year, it would go back in its box until the following year.
And even then, I wasn't allowed to put it on the tree
until the very first Christmas Star appeared.
So I'd sit...
..and hold it...
..and stare into the darkness...
I was so excited!
Well... Well, come on... Let's, um...
Let's have a look, shall we?
Merry Christmas, Mama.
You look almost sexy in that.
Gentlemen prefer blondes.
-That elf's a gentleman. I think he likes you.
Yeah, you want to grab him before somebody else does.
Margie, I wish you were my aunt.
Don't suppose you could sneak me in half a bottle of vodka?
It is Christmas. Nicky said no. Miserable cow!
No alcohol on antibiotics. Sorry, mate.
Ha-ha, brilliant! Finally entering into the Christmas spirit, I see?
-Well, I can't let you have all the fun.
Well, I better head back to Gynae. I've been neglecting my patients.
Um, wait. There's something that I wanted to say.
Yep, me too, actually. Can I go first?
I've got a date! Tonight. With Nicky.
It turns out we share a love for mulled wine and ice skating,
not at the same time, though, obviously! Ooh!
What do you think? Is she a bit young for me?
-I think it's great. Yeah. She seems really nice.
-What did you want to say?
-Oh, just, um...
Have a great Christmas.
Yeah, you too.
You're suspended. You shouldn't even be on the premises.
I know I've behaved appallingly. Unforgivably.
But Elinor wants us together, as a family, for Christmas.
I'll get treatment. Whatever it takes. Please, Serena.
We have a future.
HAD a future.
Based on lies, deceit, half truths, game playing.
-All our relationship's ever been...
You use people, Edward! And you let them down again and again.
And not just me and Elinor, but Mary-Claire, Harry, Mr Chandler!
-The list's endless!
-I know, I know! I'm sorry!
I took responsibility for you! I risked my career for you!
-And you have humiliated me!
-Where have I heard that before?
-Look, I see that you're angry,
but think about Elinor for a second.
-How do you think she'll react to this?
-I've already told her.
And she wasn't surprised.
She's used to being disappointed by you.
-I'm the one who never seems to learn.
I love you.
It's too late.
# Have yourself a merry little Christmas
# Make the Yuletide gay
# From now on, your troubles will be miles away... #
SIREN WAILS # Here we are as in olden days
# Happy golden days of yore
# Faithful friends who are dear to us
# Gather near to us once more... #
Come to gloat?
Not at all.
I wouldn't blame you. You must think I'm a fool.
No. I admire your loyalty.
We're all fallible. It takes guts to admit it.
Look, if there's anything I can do...
Right, are we all ready? Have you all got your, um...? Good.
Not as good a turnout as I'd expected.
However, shall we, um, shall we get going, Harry?
One, two three...
# Silent night
# Holy night
# All is calm
# All is bright
# Round yon virgin mother and child... #
SHE MOUTHS: Sorry.
-THE OTHERS HARMONISE
-# Holy infant so tender and mild
# Sleep in heavenly peace
# Sleep in heavenly peace
EVERYONE: # Silent night
# Holy night
# Shepherds quake at the sight
# Glories stream from heaven afar
# Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
# Christ the Saviour is born
# Christ the Saviour is born... #
Serena and Edward arrive at work loved-up and energised, but when Mary-Claire makes clear she won't forgive Edward's treatment of her and their 'relationship', Edward is forced to confess to the affair. But is his drink problem as easily dealt with?
Zosia is determined not to let her dad easily back into her life, but when a patient spots her lonely demeanour and gives Arthur some tips on a Polish Christmas, she finds herself with a smile on her face. A gift from her Mother is the icing on the cake.
Mr Thompson is doing a great job of entertaining the patients in his Christmas elf outfit - so much so that it takes one of his delighted fans to point out the obvious to Mo - they'd make a great couple! Has she got the courage to ask him out?