Harry is agitated to learn that Raf's wife Amy is the new consultant pharmacist on AAU, but is intrigued to discover that their marriage may not be as perfect as it seems.
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Which pharmacy dweeb prescribed him Midazolam?
What is going on in that sick head of yours?
Don't let him get to you.
Every time I turn around, he's watching me.
That is exactly why she is my future, and not you.
-I see you've already met our new locum.
Amy Teo. Consultant pharmacist.
I'll take care of my wife from here on in.
If that's all right with you.
Like I said, mate, she's out of your league.
What is that?
This is Midnight Blue.
Right, aren't tuxedos supposed to be black?
This is considered blacker than black.
Right, it is blue.
Yeah, but under light, black looks sort of greeny-grey.
Whereas this, this looks black.
It's the one James Bond wore in Skyfall.
Oh, it's a fancy-dress party?
It's a £100-a-plate dinner.
In the right light, it's whiter than white.
SHE SNIGGERS You're coming too?
There's that attention to detail again, Doctor.
I'm the keynote speaker.
Mr Di Lucca, sent up from ED. Car accident, localised abdominal pain.
This way, please.
Mrs Attril in bed three.
-Was it Crohn's?
-Yes, it was.
We need a laparoscopic bowel resection,
-and I need one of you to talk her through it.
-I can do it.
But I've been sorting her corticosteroids...
Uh, right, let's go with Arthur, I think.
Right, she's incredibly nervous, OK? So go slow.
And remember, explain clearly, listen actively,
and ensure her understanding.
Dom, that wasn't... I mean,
that was just normal competition between juniors, it wasn't me...
What do you want me to say? You're a good doctor? You are.
-That's possibly the most patronising thing you've ever said.
Boys, enough! This is unbearable.
I'm trying. There's only so many times you can say sorry.
No, there's not.
-Honestly, is this fussing really necessary?
-I'm so sorry.
It was just a little bump!
-What's your name, please?
-I'm Caroline Canan.
Stop it. You're embarrassing yourself.
-You, take him.
There's nothing wrong with me.
-There's nothing wrong with him.
-Assess his GCS. Now, please.
Caroline, it says you're complaining of pains in your stomach.
-Oh, I had that before the accident.
Bad food, I think, or something. I can walk fine, you know.
Let him do his job.
I've got the legs of a 20-year-old.
Look, I get it. You're not a little old lady.
Now, if you'll just let me examine you, please?
Caroline Canan, the glamour model, right?
I used to hide you under my mattress.
You hear that, Ronnie? I've been in this beautiful man's bedroom.
I want THAT one.
This isn't a sweet shop, Ms Canan.
I don't mind taking her on, Raf. It's not a sweet shop
but we do like people to leave with a smile on their face.
-15. Flying colours.
What is it with death and that banal question?
You going to tell me you're here if I need you as well?
Well, not now.
Memorial services are just another one of the many
and varied devices people use to forget stuff.
I don't think you're worried about that.
I think you might be worried that Jonny's coming in today.
I'm glad that Jonny's back.
Once this is over he might start visiting his daughter.
-Nothing. It's just that memorials aren't to forget.
They're to remember.
What was going on earlier? Between you and Arthur.
I don't... What?
I could always ask Zosia.
I don't think I should say.
I've just been second-guessing myself a bit lately. Ever since...
Ever since Arthur said I'd never make it as a doctor.
You know, coming from the Junior Doctor of the Year,
it rattles you a little...
Why should Arthur's opinion count for anything?
There is only one person's opinion that matters in here - that's mine.
-Do you want to hear it?
I think that you are an F1 and he is an F2.
So why are you competing?
Could it be because you think that you are in the wrong place?
Deprived by the gods by what happened with Malick?
You are the architect of your own downfall.
-Now, have you heard this expression?
You are where you are supposed to be.
Do you want to be somewhere else?
Do you want to be, you know, Junior Doctor of the Year?
Then stop looking out at other people, and look within.
Or get out of my ward.
So what's your name, handsome?
-Your parents ever find me under your bed, Harry?
You were in a bunch of magazines my dad sent me for my birthday.
-Yeah, boarding school.
In fact, you were pretty much all I had for company.
Are you married, Harry?
This is Caroline Canan.
Have you had any problems passing water, Caroline?
Come on. I've stood watch while you crouched in alleyways.
-Why do you have to talk like that?
-Are you family, Ronnie?
-He's my driver.
-Ronnie, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you
to wait in the visitors room, if you don't mind.
You heard the man! Go on.
You sure treat each other like family.
-He's outlasted all the husbands.
-Let's see what the tests say,
but I'm pretty sure we're dealing with appendicitis.
Sarah Daily, 23, recurring chest pain on and off for years.
And she's a little bit spiky about it.
What do you mean, spiky?
Ah, a doctor. Let the fob-off session begin.
Why haven't I seen her before?
I just moved into the area.
Chasing the kid who stole my busker's hat has given me
the awesome opportunity of getting to know my local fob hotel.
Pretty fed up of those chest pains, huh?
I was outrun by a fat kid.
OK, let's have an...
BOTH: ECG, bloods, angiogram...
Let me guess - the cause of your condition is unknown.
Has been for years, and every doctor you've seen has failed to get
-any further than the last.
-Excellent. Another genius!
So let me put your mind at rest.
I'm unlikely to solve it either.
They've all been too polite to tell you the truth,
but now you have me, and I'm not afraid to say it out loud -
we practise medicine, not magic.
By the way, you look ridiculous.
I'll have someone prep for the angiogram.
Thank you. Cheers. Thank you very much.
Can you get Jonny to do it, please.
Er, where are your parents?
Applying for a loan to park the car.
What have we got?
A comedian. Referred by ED for...
abscess on left hand. Unknown cause.
Well, we've got to find the cause before we can drain, right?
Finding the cause is going to take some time.
I have a packed list today and...
I'll do it.
Right, well, I need to book in an incision
and a drainage this afternoon.
So you have until then to find the cause.
That's more like it.
Good, well, you should be back at work in no time.
Take care, mate. Nice to meet you.
Right, consultant pharmacist is with Ms Canan.
And there was one more thing. Raf said...
Raf. Guy's like a whack-a-mole. Just keeps popping up.
-Right, I know, but...
-Can I just get through one minute without hearing Raf's name,
seeing Raf's face, talking about what Raf did next
and being reminded of Raf's major accomplishments, please?
Dr Tressler, this is our new permanent consultant pharmacist,
What's your name?
Do you want me to call you Buddy? Champ?
OK, Carl. Let's just have a look at you.
Oh. Holy hell.
Yeah, always happens when you're about to go on a date.
This should not have been allowed to get this big.
No, you're right. It's just that I was enjoying it so much.
You're also itching.
Is that in one place or is that...?
Right, and how long has this been going on?
The sense of humour?
OK, I can't fix this without your help.
It's a giant zit, yeah? Just stick a pin in it.
I can't do that until I determine the cause.
So you don't know what causes them?
OK, well, I'll go and look it up online if you like.
You know what, I'm just going to wait for your parents...
OK, my mum doesn't know I'm here.
She's a home-remedy nut, OK?
She's been treating it for the past couple of weeks but it hasn't
been getting better, and if she knew that I was here...
She just, she can't know I'm here, OK?
-Jonny, what are you doing?
-You knew I'd be here today.
-For the memorial.
-I'm not here for that.
You don't think I'm ready?
For work? Always. But to face Jac?
Look, I think there's a speech in your head,
but it's too embryonic to come out.
I'm not OK, right? I'm not pretending I am. But I can work.
And if I can work, I can think straight.
And I need that right now more than air.
-Jonny, I need you to prep for an angiogram.
-Point the way.
-It's with Jac, is that OK?
You need time to heal, Jonny.
She was there and then she wasn't. I can't understand that, can you?
I don't need time. I need something to point to.
I'm not going to find that at home.
Something to point to? Or someone?
You're permanent now?
Harry, I thought we had something going on here.
I used to make men look like that.
She's allergic to penicillin.
-You know he used to hide me under his bed.
I know who she is.
I was a knockout. Just like you.
She's a knockout, isn't she, Harry?
She's also very married.
So we're back on again!
-You want me to get him?
What reactions have you had to penicillins before?
Nothing since I was a little girl.
-Let me get a full history before anything else.
-Not like this.
-Don't be silly, come on.
She needs something for the pain.
Yes, but we need a full drugs history before changing her meds.
-Yes, I know that, but the fact is...
-Just let her do her job.
Can we get 10mg of morphine for Ms Canan, please?
That should be safe for the pain until you have full history.
Um, can I borrow this young lady?
Dr Copeland, how's our lad in four?
What was the cause of the abscess?
I have ruled out eczema, dermatitis, allergies...
but I'll know more when I get the Gram-stain results.
Gram stain? That's going to take an age.
-I'll postpone the drain, I think.
I'll get the results early.
I leant on the guys in the lab, they're going to rush it through.
Oh, good, good. Excellent. Well, let me know when you have them.
-What are you doing here?
-You didn't tell him I was starting, did you?
-You're not supposed to be here till next week.
-His face, Raf!
-Amy, you should be resting up.
-Oh, I don't want to talk about that.
I'm going out of my mind at home. Let me work, OK?
Just for once can you do what...?
Is there any danger, Doctor?
You haven't said that word, have you?
You ask me this every day, and what do I say?
These superstitions are silly.
No, I haven't said it. I promised I wouldn't, and I won't.
But if you're in here today, you rest up tonight.
No coming to the dinner.
-You two have history.
-You can't help yourself, can you?
I am making conversation.
-What makes you say that?
-Sweetie, I've been married three times.
There's a period before your marriage is over, and the moment you realise
you spend a lot of time reading people.
It didn't save any of your marriages, did it?
That's because it's inevitable.
Marriage is a train heading towards the end of the line.
A relationship at any one time is simply at one of the stops before it.
She's a romantic, Doc(!)
OK, so the test results appear to confirm what I suspected -
Let's get her on the list.
You know what appendicitis is, don't you?
It's the useless bit you cut loose. I've had three of them, darling.
OK, it is invasive surgery, but it's pretty straightforward.
Ronnie here will be driving you home in no time at all.
Today was his last drive.
Yeah, her latest ex-husband hasn't paid me for the last two months.
He doesn't know about the end of the marriage train line.
-What station would you say they're at?
Heading out of the city into the open countryside.
They're past halfway.
-Don't even think about it.
-I wouldn't dream of it.
I need a favour.
You know that slightly creepy guy who temps in the lab?
The one who accidentally sent you... e-mailed you pictures of his...
Please don't finish this sentence.
Well, I need some Gram-stain results back before this afternoon.
-I beg of you!
-What, you want me to sleep with him?
No, but I'm flattered you'd do that for me. Just call him.
He'll do anything you want to.
Not just Gram-stain results - he could do all sorts of other things.
What we're going to do is we're going to...
Feed a tiny wire into the artery - I know.
Look, I don't need the foreplay. Just get the sucker in there.
Pretty gobby for a living statue, you know that?
So, do I need to explain to you what an angiogram does?
I do SO not need you to explain it.
Hey, I didn't even feel that.
You know, I hate to tell you you're wasting your time.
Is that right?
It's going to come back blank.
Is that so?
It'll throw HER at first.
She won't like that.
You have a sad face.
They've been talking about you around here.
And what have THEY been saying?
That they don't know WHAT to say.
You'd think that round here they'd have just the right words.
They don't exist, though, do they?
No, they don't.
You know what the worst part is? People get bored of sympathy.
At a certain point your pain becomes an inconvenience.
Eventually they just stopped believing me.
My boyfriend, who wasn't getting sex...
my drama class, who thought I was a drama queen.
God, I hate that phrase.
I'm a good actress.
Around them I was just a liar.
Well, I wasn't going to be that. So I moved.
Don't let them rush you back to normal.
You take as much time being a crap person as you need.
Got something for you.
Gram stain? Ah! Thank you.
Oh, come on!
What, not what you wanted?
-You can rule out TB.
-A monkey could rule out TB!
Can I get some help?
I need oxygen! IV antibiotics, nebuliser, now!
HE GASPS FOR BREATH
What's that like, working with your husband then going home and him being there too?
-I'm sorry, we can't take her anywhere.
I don't know much different. we worked together all through Asia.
You travelled with him as well? Good God.
-You never worked with your other half?
-Sweetie, I've never worked.
-How we doing, Ronnie?
-It's like Loose Women over here, Doc.
Erm, will you excuse me for a minute?
I've got the history from Caroline's GP.
We can give her pain medication.
Way ahead of you. Already discussed it with Raf.
Never seen a needle before?
More than I'd like.
I've developed a system, if you need it -
find a spot on the ceiling or the wall and I make it sing show tunes.
That's important - requires a lot of concentration.
Aren't you the cutest thing?
Well, we should work out the antibiotics,
so we should probably...
That scuff mark is singing right now, isn't it?
-I Love To Boogie.
Thanks. The antibiotics. We should go over the history ahead of surgery.
Saturation levels just dropped.
I've ordered him a chest X-ray.
But do you think we should get him started on CPAP?
No, high oxygen flow for now, I think.
Kid's a can of worms.
You regretting it?
No, I just I haven't solved one puzzle and now I have another -
They could be connected.
Open your mind, Doctor.
Take a step back, look at the bigger picture.
Lifestyle factors, indicators that tell us...
He's giving me less than the tests.
I can't get a straight answer out of him.
Well, that's why Mother Nature made doctors.
-Most people want to get well, yes?
Well, if they're not helping you diagnose the problem, they're usually...
-Hiding the cause.
-The answer's in that head of his, I guarantee it.
But how do I get it out of him?
Throw out the clinical questions. Ask human ones.
And quickly. Before he gets any worse.
-How many patients are you working on?
Raf, you know how this works.
Early finish at least?
I can't. Tressler's patient's going to surgery this afternoon
and she's got a list of possible interactions a mile long.
-The Canan woman. Appendectomy. Don't worry, I'm on it.
Ronnie, what just happened?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Are you feeling dizzy?
Yeah, but it's gone now.
Is there something you're not telling us? About the accident?
It was the smallest of bumps against the window.
There's no blood, nothing.
Yeah, not on the outside. Can we have a CT, please?
-And put a rush on it. Nurse Carter here will look after you.
Listen, don't tell Caroline about this, all right?
You weren't expecting that, were you?
What does it say?
BOTH: No sign of coronary artery disease...
Stop doing that.
So what do we do now?
A GTN spray. And then she sends me home.
Isn't that right, Doctor?
You can change your lifestyle too - diet, exercise...
You guys kill me. Literally.
Wait a minute. That can't be it?
Everything came back normal. I can't keep running the same tests.
I am not a liar.
Medicine, not magic.
Erm, not magic. Just...
something to point to.
You realise I have to call your mum now, don't you?
-What's her name?
'Hello, I'm sorry I'm not able to take your call.
'If you leave a message I'll give you a call back.'
Hello, Ginny. This is Dr Dominic Copeland
phoning you from Holby City Hospital.
We have your son here, Carl...
Please don't worry, he's absolutely fine, but if you could call
the hospital, it would be good to speak to you in more detail.
Please just ask for Dr Copeland. Thank you.
You knew she wouldn't answer, didn't you?
Yes. I'm telepathic. It's a burden.
What about Dad?
I don't have a dad.
Oooh, no dad joke?
Paternal issues. It's a cliche, but OK.
I wonder where Dad fits in to all of this.
-She's not coming, is she?
-What are you - Sherlock?
Don't con a con artist.
Do you not think I can track down your mum?
No, no, I don't.
This is a hospital, we have access to all kinds of information...
-You ain't going to find her.
-Why not, Carl?
-Because she's dead, yeah?
Dr Tressler, Ms Canan - appendectomy?
Yep. That's right.
-Jumping the gun a little, aren't you?
-Tests don't lie.
No, but they omit. It could be any number of other things.
-Ruled them out.
-Oh, you've done a CT?
Localised pain, raised CRP, temperature 38-plus.
It's appendicitis, Raf. You can't make this one interesting.
Her driver just nearly fainted. He's getting a scan right now.
His GCS was 15. You saw.
Well, the Canan woman - this afternoon is too soon.
You want to risk rupture?
She's allergic to penicillin, her medical history is a mess.
It's just... it's too much to deal with.
You don't trust your wife, Raf?
It's her first day.
You saved a kid's life with an ECMO machine made out of bottle tops
-and pipe cleaners on your first day.
-Yeah, well, she is...
She is what, Raf? Not superhuman? Not holier than thou?
Not always right? Not you?
That's what I like about her.
Get a CT before you go anywhere near surgery.
So shall I order a CT?
No. I want you to page our consultant pharmacist for me.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa... You OK?
A little help over here, please?
That's what stomping off gets me.
OK, just breathe slow.
I can't do grand gestures any more.
Yeah, well, they don't really work on her anyway.
Give me your arm.
Don't worry about me,
I'm going to be sitting down for the next few hours, anyway.
Hey, I just had a thought.
I could die right in the street, and no-one would know.
Money just piling up!
That's not funny.
I want to die.
Then they'll believe me.
You stay here.
Keep an eye on her for a wee second.
I think if we use clindamycin, then we can avoid cross-reactivity.
Forgot to eat.
Won't that cause bleeding during surgery?
Oh, not if you use anaesthetic agents.
We haven't spoken, by the way, since, er...
Since you tried to hit on me.
I hope you took it in the spirit with which it was given.
As an attempt to have sex with a stranger, yes.
SHE LAUGHS Thank you! Good. Thank God for that.
I hope it didn't make life with Raf difficult.
No. But, er...
Ah, I shouldn't say, really.
Well, he did go a little caveman on me earlier for working you too hard.
Do you need looking after?
Give me a minute.
..what are you doing warning people off me?
-Trying to keep you safe. Trying to give Ca...
You're setting all these rules, and I'm following them.
Why can't I set a few of my own?
-Can't you just worry about me without trying to fix it?
We should get these to Ms Canan.
CARL COUGHS REPEATEDLY
You give me the information I need,
we get to the bottom of your condition.
You get to leave, no questions asked, and I don't look crap.
What, just release me, you know, not follow it up, not tell anyone?
Not ever think about you again.
You're not allowed to do that.
-Cross my heart.
OK, what... what do you want to know?
OK, well, let's start with the dad thing.
Your mum's dead, there must be one.
No. He's got nothing to do with this.
OK, but there IS one.
-Yeah, there's a dad.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
What's his name?
I am not going to call him, Carl.
I promised you, didn't I?
And you don't want him to know that you're here?
No, he's got nothing... nothing to do with this.
I haven't seen him in months.
OK, so I need you to stay on the ward
-until the results come back in, OK?
-Don't go anywhere.
How are you feeling now? Any nausea?
The tramadol might make you a little spaced out,
but that's normal, don't worry.
Don't you two work well together?
-Where have you been?
-I went to get a drink.
Isn't this delicious?
What are you doing?
Reading. Reading, reading, reading...
This is a hospital. Not a school playground.
Oh, it's ALL a school playground.
-Don't you want to know what I read in her?
-What do you read in her?
She's screaming inside. There's points for the man who sees it.
Caroline, stop poisoning people.
-No, you're not. Not everyone's like you.
Not everyone treats a partner like a prize.
If I didn't, you wouldn't have a job!
-I am where I am because of who I married.
-And where are you?
Oh, yeah, in hospital and only your driver to visit you.
-You know what,
most people have pictures of their families on their phone.
You know what she's got? Pictures of herself as a younger woman.
Caroline needs rest before the op. Keep it nice, please.
What are you doing here, Ron? What are you even doing here?
I don't need you. I don't need a driver!
I've just been too polite to say it.
You don't need me. Fine. I'll go.
CT? What CT?
Ms Canan's. I thought you...
-I've looked, Jonny.
-Do it again.
If there was something to be found, I would've found it.
-You're acting unprofessionally.
-No, I am acting like a human being!
Now, if there are symptoms, there must be a cause.
And logic dictates that you can find them.
You just have to turn over every rock.
-Things happen, Jonny.
-Things don't just happen!
Right, if we're saying we can't fix this, we're condemning her.
It doesn't mean any such thing.
We can fail to save a life, but we cannot stand by and do nothing.
I can't pull a diagnosis out of thin air.
You think too much of me.
I don't think anything of you at all!
Sorry, I shouldn't have come in to work today.
You were right. I'm going home.
Organise a stress echo and I will take another look at her angiogram.
Is your dad abusive?
-Because he blames me, yeah? That's why. For my mum.
Look, my mum had... she had this thing about the pond
in the field behind our house.
Well, she told me never to go near it.
Yeah, well, the dumb dog didn't know that.
Winston, he, erm, he jumped in after a ball
floating around in there, and he got into some trouble, so I...
..I jumped in after him.
It, you know, it was cold and I couldn't...
And then this, erm...this... this hand came down and, erm...
..it pulled me out and...
..and I saw my mum.
You know, I got out, but my mum,
-You know, who would you blame?
-Is that what your dad said?
Winston showed up a week later.
I was so relieved to see him, but...
but, erm, my...my dad said...
..he said that he was going to have him...
I reckon he would've done the same to me if he could.
Where's it itching the most?
He's gone into shock. I'm going to need to drain this now.
How are you feeling?
And you were doing so well.
You just couldn't leave it, could you?
-Ah, just the man.
-He's ordered a CT for Canan behind my back.
How do think it makes me look?
-It was a good diagnosis.
-You're damn right it was!
Textbook. I expected to be proved wrong.
So why order a CT?
-Well, because I was right.
Sigmoid colon, flopped into the right iliac fossa.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to tell a patient
she's got something much worse than appendicitis.
Tell me he dresses up in women's clothing in his spare time.
-Leaves wet towels on the bed? Anything. I'll take anything.
-You're looking at this the wrong way.
You don't think being perfect is a fault?
I will completely understand if you don't, but I wondered
if you might want to say a few words at Bonnie's memorial.
-I'm not going to that.
-Come with me.
The stress echo was positive for an anterior wall.
I have discovered a kink, which is a myocardial bridge.
It means you have an artery trapped in muscle, and by exercising,
you've been squeezing it, which is what has been causing your pain.
She's speechless. It's a miracle.
I think it is a...
I can't let go.
-It may require surgery,
but if we're lucky, we can treat it with medication.
Either way, there's no reason you won't go back to a normal life.
That's if you consider this normal.
You OK with that?
I going to name my first-born after you.
OK, BP's dropped, pulse is 120.
Septic shock. We need to get into theatre now.
Raf's already on it.
OK, the list's reshuffled, I've scrambled a theatre team.
We've got a gap, let's get her moving, please.
You coming in?
Nah. I told you, I don't want to.
-You don't mean that. Come.
-It'll be good for you.
Yeah, that's right, mate. Slow down, take a good look!
You want to sum up a life in an hour, go ahead.
Cross-reactivity to cephalosporins
and mecillinam of anywhere between 9% and 42%.
Given the serious nature of the patient,
we should stick with clindamycin.
OK, that's enough, leave it with us.
No, wait, there's the ramipril, PRN consumption.
I'm not sure how her blood pressure will react.
With Mary-Claire, please.
I'm the best person to guide the meds.
Just give the notes to Mary-Claire.
Why can't she do it?
We've been over this - I can work.
There's work, and there's emergency care.
I'm not having my wife put under that kind of stress.
I'm not your wife, I'm the consultant pharmacist.
I'm not having Callumei...
I didn't mean to say it.
Amy, I'm sorry. It doesn't mean anything anyway.
Look, zero stress is the important thing.
Now, please just give the notes to Mar...
Our colleague, our friend, Bonnie Wallis,
was a truly great spirit.
She was loved by her family,
who tell me she overcame great obstacles...
These are someone else's words...
I suppose I was, um, so afraid
of, um, insulting her memory.
the truth is...
..it's too soon.
It's too soon for her to go.
'Give me a year, I will write her a cracking speech.
'But right now...
'..how can I possibly talk about her life in the past tense...
'..when I keep expecting her to come through that door?'
Oh, Mr Levy, it's scabies.
That's what caused the abscess - the chronic scratching opened the sores.
-I've drained it.
-Contagion. We'll have to lock down the ward.
I've called Colette and we've arranged a risk assessment.
His bay's being cleaned down as we speak.
No indicators on any staff. I'm clean, so...
No, we caught it quickly, it's contained.
From sleeping rough.
Have you got a name or number for a parent?
I'll have to contact the authorities.
Father. Jacob Nordbrook.
Well done. Well done, Dr Copeland.
You've just averted a crisis.
My dad hates me, he's going to kill me.
You want to jump in?
I know the med history, remember?
We're doing it laparoscopically.
Keyhole? Hartmann's, surely.
You want to fit a bag to her, Harry?
You didn't get the impression that looks mean anything to this woman?
There's no way you can do this keyhole.
There you go again, limiting your options.
What are you doing here?
They send you to come and get me?
Elliot's starting without me.
I'm not going in there.
I can't. I'm just...
I'm barely holding it together as it is, so just...
If I go in there, I'm going to have to start getting over her,
and I don't want to get over her, Lexy.
I can't think of a bigger betrayal than that.
The pain is...
..it's really bad but it's her and...
..she's right here all the time.
If she goes...if the pain goes,
then she goes.
And I can't let go of the pain.
You love her.
She's going nowhere.
I can feel your eyes boring into me.
You think I do this stuff to make you look bad?
No. It's just a happy accident.
Bet your teenage self never imagined you'd get this close.
Ronnie Dale's CTs are back.
There's blood on the brain.
Send him up to Keller for observation.
Quickly. It's damage limitation time now, Harry.
Would you leave me alone?
Carl, I had to do what I did. It's my job.
What, saving lives, is that it?
Yeah, well, you ended mine.
I didn't want you to not call him because I was in trouble -
it was because I didn't want to see the...
the disappointment in his face.
I didn't want him to look at me the same way
he looked at my dog - you know, as the thing that ruined his life.
I didn't want you to call him
because he's better off without me.
I thought I'd lost you...
I thought I'd lost you.
He stands at the door every day, waiting for you.
Today's the day.
He's waiting for you.
I remember one day Bonnie had to give an elderly patient a bath.
She'd just removed his gown...
..and he looked down and said, "Have you ever seen anything so big?"
Slightly embarrassed and red-faced she said,
"Yes. Oh, well, it's very impressive."
And he said, "I was talking about my boil!"
Don't worry. He makes me cry too.
Can I ask you something?
You don't have to tell me.
It used to be a joke.
It used to make us laugh.
Raf insisted we'd have a fine Scottish boy named Callum,
..and I said we'd have a pretty Singaporean girl named Mei...
But now it's not funny?
When you say the name... it makes it real.
Then, when it doesn't happen, it's like a little death.
So this time I thought if we didn't say it...
Of course - the nausea, the needle phobia...
Is this your third round?
Callumei is a beautiful bubble that pops when you touch it.
I never cry. It's the hormones. I hate it.
-Please don't tell him you know.
We're having a little get-together in Albie's in Bonnie's honour.
Do you want to come?
I think I'm probably just going to stay and keep working,
-if that's all right.
It's good to have you back.
Quite a first day, eh?
When are you going to come and see Emma?
I never stopped.
I've been seeing her when she's with the nanny, when you're here...
That's OK. It's good, actually.
Maybe now things can get back to normal.
I just mean that...
You know, ever since Bonnie I've been looking for a reason.
I knew I couldn't bring her back, but just something to point at
and say, you know, "That's why!"
It was an accident, Jonny.
Mo was right - I had this speech in my head.
And I wasn't entirely sure how it was going to come out,
but the gist of it was that you killed her.
But that's not it.
Because I let you keep a little piece of me.
I let you keep me here on my wedding day.
I let you kiss me.
I'm the thing to point at.
It's no-one's fault.
That girl you treated today, she travelled right across the country
because, around the people who didn't believe her, she was a liar.
Well, around you, I am a fool.
I'm the cause of someone's heartbreak.
I have to move away from you.
Well done. It's been noted upstairs.
Did you see that?
We saw it.
Doctor of the Year's a little bit quiet.
-Could he fear the competition?
You don't think what I did today was as good as any F2?
Er, who am I to argue? If Sacha says you are, then you are.
-I want to hear you say it.
No, I think everyone should hear this.
What, you want me to say you're better than Zosia?
She can be off her game because she can play the "dead mum" card.
Is that what you think?
So you're a good doctor.
What kind of PERSON are you?
How are you feeling?
It all went very well.
Will there be a scar?
Yeah, about this big.
Oh! You're amazing.
Well, you rest and I'll be back to check on you in half an hour.
Well, don't you remember, you...?
Oh, no, he always comes back.
He didn't want you to know, but...
He hit his head in the accident, I'm afraid.
He's upstairs being assessed for internal bleeding.
Is he going to be all right?
It's too early to say at this point.
All we can do is wait.
You must have some make-up around.
Does your husband like spending all this time with you?
Most of the time.
My ex-husbands, every single one -
they only liked spending certain time with me.
They'd have a slot for me, and either side of that...
well, as long as I was busy, they were happy.
Is that why they paid for a driver?
Only the first one did.
-I've been paying for Ronnie for years.
-He doesn't know that?
Dumb lummox. What does he think I'm doing in a public hospital?
He's been driving you for two months without pay.
I don't think he's dumb,
I think he likes having you around.
You're an angel.
Whatever it is you're going through, I hope it works out.
To Bonnie. You were a giver.
ALL: To Bonnie.
Mind if I sit down?
There's nothing you can say to take that back.
No, but maybe I can explain where it came from.
Where DID it come from?
It's been a tough day.
I defended you. Where does something like that come from?
My dad always blamed me for my mum's death.
I wasn't allowed to cry over her.
Because in his eyes, I was the cause.
So every time I did, he would say I'm playing the "mum" card.
That's where something like that would come from.
Why did he blame you?
We used to have a dog... called Winston.
We had a huge pond behind our house.
My mum always said I was never allowed to go anywhere near it...
Caroline, I've got something for you.
Oh, oh, you're OK?
All clear. No operation.
They still need to keep him in for observation,
but I asked if he could be moved down here.
-Oh, shut up.
I just need to tell you something.
When I said I didn't need you... well, I've never needed you.
No, I mean...
Ron, I've been paying you all this time.
It's me who cut you off.
What you talking about, paying me?
I don't need you, Ron...
but I can't live without you.
And I still want you to drive me. I just...
I just want to sit beside you.
Knock, knock. How's my pin-up?
Oh, my. Don't you look handsome?
I was just on my way out to dinner, but I thought I'd come
and check and see how you are.
Mr Di Lucca's taking good care of me.
Good. Well, I'd better go, but I hope you feel better.
I know who you are, Harry. I finally worked it out.
Oh, yeah, what's that?
I married you three times.
It's only today I realised what I was to men like you.
-Leave that girl alone.
-I don't know what you mean.
Yes, you do. There's plenty of others. Leave this one alone.
You've just had heavy surgery, you're a little foggy.
I've never been clearer in my life. She's not a prize.
Leave her alone.
She's married. There's nothing to worry about.
And he had the dog put down.
I think he would have quite liked to have done the same to me,
if he could have gotten away with it.
I really am sorry for what I said.
Oh, God...that's awful.
So did you sort it out with him, your dad?
What are you going to do, move across the country?
You're just not going to be a part of me any more.
And what about Emma? All I did that day
-was tell you I need you.
-You selfish bitch.
Your heart is so black you don't even realise
that's the meanest thing you ever did.
Marrying her was a fantasy.
And you hate me because I make you see it.
THIS! THIS is what you do!
Well, no more.
I am not going to let you poison me.
You destroy everything you touch.
I'm taking her away from you.
I want custody.
Is that blue?
It's blacker than black.
-You decided to come.
-You said you weren't going.
-So now I am.
Compliment her, Raf.
You look... There are no words.
You're not dressed.
I know. A hepatic haemangioma just got wheeled in.
I'm going to have to stick around for it.
I'll still be there for the speech.
I'm all dressed up.
So go. You'll have Harry for company, right, Harry?
I'll look after her, yeah.
I'll see you later. Have a nice time.
Harry is agitated to learn that Raf's wife Amy is the new consultant pharmacist on AAU. Convinced he is about to have his nose rubbed into their perfect marriage, Harry is in for a welcome surprise.
Sacha puts Dominic under pressure to deliver on the ward. Dominic rises to the challenge, but offends his best friend Zosia in the process. He goes all-out to win her back.
Jonny returns to work after his wedding. He is furious with Jac for trying to stop proceedings on his big day, but Jac hopes they can clear the air.