Handle With Care Holby City

We don't know anything for certain right now.

-Coughing up blood. That's a bad sign, is it?

-Yeah. Yeah.

This doesn't feel right, now.

It seems to me like maybe you could use a clean break

from this place for a while.

If you want to be Jason's aunt, then you have to be all the way in

and if you want to say goodbye,

walk away, then you shouldn't feel guilty about that.

What would he do without you?

Serena said you got called upstairs to Darwin for a chat.

I start on Monday.

You have secondaries...

..in your lungs.

I could get used to standing here.

Mind you, saying that,

-I could be, later on, couldn't I?

-Hm.

I mean, Keller is still in the running for an award.

It's just, I have told everyone that we, er...

My Levy, that is sending out entirely the wrong impression.

These awards are a celebration of excellence.

They're not intended to recognise sloppy presentation.

This podium should be thoroughly polished,

and it should be placed equidistant between the two vases as requested.

You were talking about the podium.

Amongst other things.

I just feel this weird need to impress.

It's pathetic.

I'm only going six floors up.

It's perfectly natural.

If Holby were a family, Darwin would be the big scary uncle.

You'll soon wrap him around your little finger.

Oh, well, if Darwin is the uncle, AAU is definitely mum and dad.

Aw.

Let's stop now before we both throw up.

Anyway, enjoy! And remember,

first impressions. They count.

Wait. What? Don't say that!

Look, If you want to keep this thing no strings attached...

PHONE BEEPS

Hold on. Hold on.

Ah, Mr Law.

Er, Ms Campbell. Um...

Look, I'll call you back later.

Sorry.

Thought I was going to be late.

Well, being in a rush is probably a blessing.

-Acclimatise you to the pace of AAU.

-Yeah.

Good night, was it?

It was, thanks.

Liking the footwear.

Thank you. For the award ceremony. Thought I'd better make the effort.

-Never know, might even win one.

-Ha.

PHONE RINGS

-Morning.

-Morning.

-Hi.

-Here.

-Whoa, what's this?

It's a meal deal. You know I don't like blueberries.

Oh, thanks.

Antioxidants.

How you doing?

Me? I'm fine. I'm not the one with secondaries.

I know, I know, but it can't be easy watching Arthur go through all this.

Well, I'm fine. Can you pass me the diary, please?

Thank you.

So, how did his first infusion go?

Good, I think.

He was busying himself all weekend.

What with?

It was a 24-part documentary on Norse gods.

It was Morven's idea.

Wow. That can't be fun.

No, it was quite informative, actually.

Really?

Well, he enjoyed it. So much so, he made me this pendant.

Also Morven's idea.

Arthur's making jewellery, is he?

Yes, it's very...

-striking.

-It's Eir. She's the Norse goddess of healing.

Don't be such a philistine, Sacha.

The endovascular graft repair, what time is it today?

Don't worry, we're on schedule.

So I trust I can rely on your presence at the awards ceremony.

Awards ceremony?

I see you're in jubilant mood today, Ms Campbell,

but please don't tease. It's not amusing.

Right, I have a very important tele-meeting now,

so if anyone needs me, I'll be in my office with a cinnamon whirl.

-Brr.

-That one.

Congratulations, you have jaundice, itchy skin, nausea and diarrhoea.

What's in that one?

Er, sebaceous cyst.

I'll, I'll take the cyst.

So, you're happy for me to give this to Arthur?

Yeah, go ahead.

What? Why are you staring at me?

You see, if you're selfless enough

to give up the more interesting case,

then you don't have to make excuses.

Mr Levy's right. You can just be nice.

I'm always nice, thank you.

Right, I tell you what. I will do the cyst.

No, no, no.

No, you're tired. You can help Arthur. You can work with Mr Hill.

I want you to have some quality time with him, OK?

-You don't need to...

-Ba, ba, ba, ba.

So,

our film night.

Would you be up for a Nicaraguan war drama?

Hear me out. It's under three hours and apparently laden with humour,

so you just have to go into it with an open mind.

Sounds intriguing.

-Yeah, that's what I thought. Morven suggested it.

-Hm.

It's 9.10 now. You promised me you'd call at 9:15.

Yeah, I just didn't realise being early was an issue.

I should be eating breakfast now.

When am I going to eat?

There you go, grouchy. Problem solved.

What? Shall I swap it back?

No. Leave it.

Allan shouldn't have to change my schedule because you're early.

I promise it won't happen again. Thank you, Allan.

No problem.

So, am I forgiven?

Well, I sup...

What? Oh, come on.

Phoenix. That is such a cool name.

-Thanks.

-OK and finally,

have you ever had a blood transfusion or a piercing?

No.

I had this starred on my calendar for months.

I don't know why they didn't just let me go on.

Flaming Cavaliers. They're always making trouble.

You actually kidding? I mean, you're practically fluorescent.

You look like a human highlighter.

Sorry. I'm a bit tired.

It's just the jaundice.

So, how many of you are there, anyway?

Couple of hundred usually,

but it depends on the battle,

-whether it's Marston Moor, Edgehill, Battle of Naseby.

-Ooh.

And is that your period, is it? English Civil War?

No.

Mongolian history is really my big thing,

but there's just not the re-enactments.

I did do a rehearsal for one a couple of months ago, though.

-In Mongolia?

-No, northern China.

Part of the Mongol-Jin War. It was amazing.

-Would you mind if...?

-No, go.

Why have I never done anything like that?

Well, still plenty of time.

You're not dead yet.

Er, Nurse Harrison, could I get a FBC, LFTs, U&Es

and a full chest and abdomen CT scan, please?

Thank you.

You want to look online. Put your name down.

You know what?

I think I might just do that.

To be honest, though, there weren't really the numbers.

It doesn't work that well when there's meant to be 20,000 of you.

How many of you were there?

30.

Still, it was nice eating and drinking with the locals.

So, ultimate military leader?

Brilliant. Well, mine's a little bit obvious,

but would have to be Napoleon.

Pft.

Really?

Napoleon?

Yeah. Why couldn't it be him?

Well, in less than two decades, he bankrupted France

and lost all her colonies.

I wouldn't fancy that on my tombstone.

How can you say that?

No. Napoleon didn't lose any colonies.

If you're talking about Quebec, that was lost already.

And, yes, OK, he sold Louisiana to the US,

but that's cos it was riddled with debt,

so that was a piece of brilliance.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend.

OK, I think we're done here, so, er, let's go.

No. I'm not doing it.

I told you. She's too AAU.

-Mo!

-Nothing to do with me.

Oh, it's fun. We've all done it.

It's tradition.

Yeah, but she's...

Everyone new to Darwin's done it,

but if you don't want to be part of the gang, I understand.

It's just a real shame.

We'll pick someone easy. Michael Jackson?

-Nice!

-All you have to do is get eight songs into conversation

by the end of the day. It's easy.

Does it have to be Ms Naylor? Can I use someone else?

Nice try.

And I will put a good word in for you on the stent project.

No, you can't do that. That's black...

Right, apparently, Mr Hanssen hasn't chosen his winning department yet.

so we're going to make the decision easy for him. Understood?

So, this tracheal stent meeting. I've pencilled it for five.

Does that work for you, Ms Naylor?

-Mr Valentine. Five?

-Yeah.

Perfect.

Can we present a 3D diagram? Get some copies made?

Erm, yes. There is one on page 24.

Oh.

Ah, so there is. Excellent.

Erm, that stent project. That sounds like a thrill...

That just sounds like a fascinating project.

There you go, try that. I've restarted your router.

You are a godsend, Mr Law.

-Ah.

-There you go.

'Allan, Allan!'

I'll call for an ambulance.

You see, Auoumbla the cow,

she licked Buri out of a salty ice block.

And that made you think of me?

Or, no, well...

Buri is the creator god. He's, er, large.

Steady on.

No, no. I mean, powerful, very beautiful to behold.

Well, I don't know what to say.

Clearly, you have a hidden talent.

Well, I will certainly treasure him.

So, come on, show me the others.

Right. Well, that's Freyr, so that's Fletch, the god of fertility.

Then there's the goddess of motherhood, Frigg. That's Mo.

Then there's Frigg's handmaiden, Fulla. That's...

Who's Mr T.

Great. So, where's Ric's?

WHISPERS: I forgot Ric's.

I'll just give him Elli.

And that's the god of what?

Old age.

She's a goddess anyway. I'll make him another one.

Kvasir. The wisest.

Created from the spittle of the gods.

Yeah, you might want to reword that, I think.

What are you doing?

I am taking Oliver Cromwell off your hands.

He just denigrated your idol.

He just needs educating.

Well, if anyone else does the same with Amy Winehouse,

then you can return the favour.

OK, I see.

Very good.

And I suppose you want to know if I've got any hunches

about what his condition might be?

Well, yeah. I do.

Honestly, you are shameful.

You're just trying to get me off his case so you can steal my glory.

Why would I do that?

Because you think if we win an award today

and you shine, then you'll get to go up.

-Very transparent.

-Oh.

Fine.

Why don't we work on him together?

No. We're going to do what we always do.

Compete.

Did you seriously think I'd fall for that after all this time? Hm?

What did he just say?

I don't know. I don't know!

It's all right. Calm. Just breathe, yes.

Nice deep breaths.

That's right. Good.

Now, Jason, I'm going to look after Allan.

I just need you to tell me what his face looks like.

Is it droopy or stretched?

Droopy.

-Right, can you ask Allan to...

-Where's the ambulance?

They'll be with you soon.

When?

Five, ten minutes.

Which? Five or ten? I need to know!

I can't say for sure.

Allan! Allan!

Should I give him the kiss of life?

-No, no, no, no.

-Please don't do that. Please don't do that, Jason.

I need you to check his pulse for me.

So if you could just put your second and middle finger on his wrist

-about an inch below...

-I can't find it. He hasn't got a pulse.

This is ridiculous.

I've handed my kids over to my mum. I just can't cope.

They do say it's the most difficult job in the world,

being a parent.

It's not like I'm new to all this.

I have got a toddler at home as well, you know?

SHE SIGHS

It's everything.

I'm shattered.

I understand. You must be exhausted.

All those nappies.

-Nappies! This really...

-But energy drinks aren't the solution.

Nor double espressos, for that matter.

If I didn't have them, I'd be a walking corpse.

I'm faint and I'm light-headed.

Your blood pressure is extremely high.

Probably because of all the stress you're under.

But hypertension can be a cause of atrial fibrillation.

Add caffeine and energy drinks to the mix

and you have a toxic combination.

How many did you say you were having?

Oh, don't you start, as well.

I'm not having a go. I'm really not.

What was it? Four, five a day?

Well, on the plus side,

I'm glad to say the potassium and the magnesium

have regulated your heartbeat.

So, we'll just keep you under observation for now.

In the meantime, try and enjoy some rest.

-Poor woman.

-The reality of single motherhood.

Right, I am due in theatre soon,

so if there are any problems with Ms Keetley...

I'll call Ms Effanga.

No, no, don't bother her. She's very busy today

and I wouldn't want to put undue pressure on her.

-Understood.

-So, if you need any assistance,

ask for Ms Naylor or Mr Valentine.

Yes, Sir Dennis.

Actually, I'm asking everyone if they wouldn't mind dropping the Sir.

Makes me sound less fusty.

Sure. Mr Hopkins-Clarke, it is.

Oh, and if you are interested in the stent project...

-Yes?

-Then you should talk to Mr Valentine.

I believe he and Ms Naylor are looking to recruit a nurse.

And there are still no pains?

No. No pain. Right as rain.

Ooh, made a rhyme.

Yep, but you're still not right, are you?

And you had all your vaccinations before you went to China?

No, I was meant to,

but the day I was booked in I had to go to Hopton Heath.

We were a Roundhead short of a battle.

-Are you all right there, Dr Copeland?

-Mm-hm.

Ahem. Fine. All fine.

Do you think it's something tropical, then?

It's a little bit too early to say, I'm afraid.

And we still don't have all your medical records yet.

That will be the deed poll change.

You changed your name?

What was it before?

Dominic.

How unusual. Changing your name FROM Dominic.

What? What have I said?

Oh, no offence.

It really suits you.

Right, so I'll chase those records up.

So, it's Phoenix, formerly known as Dominic Hill? Yes?

Are you really that desperate to collect an award?

No! Why does everyone keep saying that?

Because you'd normally bite at "Roundhead short of a battle."

Yes, well, I don't like poking fun at people

who enjoy historical re-enactments.

Yes, you do.

Yes, I do.

I mean, come, on dressing up and play fighting?

It's one step away from a bedsit and a blow-up doll.

But I can't say that in front of Diggers, can I?

I mean, look at him.

He's practically a clone.

I don't know. I just went dizzy and my balance gave out.

Did you have any alcohol?

At nine o'clock in the morning? No, Jason.

Or ingest any recreational drugs?

No!

This is you being a surgeon.

He asked for a medical dictionary for his birthday.

-He's been like this ever since.

-It didn't help me find your pulse.

Oh, now, pulses are notoriously difficult to find.

Yes, even I have a problem with that sometimes.

And you found it in the end.

Now, Allan, I'm afraid you may need to stay in overnight.

Ah, you're joking. I've got a curry with the lads.

Does that mean Sue's going to stay over whilst you're in here?

Allan, could you just slide over on to this bed for me, please?

Sue's our cover carer.

I don't want Sue to stay. She always smells of garlic.

-Can't you stop over instead?

-Me?

Well, of course. Yes. You just read my mind.

Er, no, I didn't, but I can print out a schedule.

-That would be useful.

-Are you really sure?

Yes, yes. It'll be nice not to be in an empty house.

Besides, it's 24 hours. What's the worst that can happen?

You can stay in Allan's room.

Well, there's your answer.

Jason, why don't you go and get yourself a drink?

I don't want one.

Jason, would you like to read a book on weird

and revolting medical conditions?

Oh, yes.

Right. Today's your lucky day. Follow me.

It's an old stocking filler. Completely vomit-inducing.

Come on.

He makes a mean cuppa.

You'll be swimming in tea by the time he's finished with you.

Right, now, Allan,

do you have any history of heart disease in your family?

Yeah. My dad.

Sharon, can I get a cardiac enzyme test, ECG, heart echo,

full chest X-ray and a head CT, please?

OK, so, you want to hit me with it now?

Let's just wait for those test results, OK?

Promise I'll put in a good word.

No. If I do this, I am in on that stent meeting.

-Deal?

-Deal.

Ms Naylor, photocopies for the stent project. Hope they're all right.

They're in black or white.

Sorry, they're in black AND white.

Still, I don't think they look too bad.

Yes. They are truly amazing. Gold star to you.

Um, actually, I was wondering if we could have one more chance

to talk about that stent meeting, if you've got time.

I think that went well.

-Still six.

-No. One More Chance is a Michael Jackson song.

It's a Jackson Five song.

Well, that's not fair because you didn't specify.

So what does that mean for my patient?

-She's been rescheduled for Thursday.

-And you didn't think to consult me?

Next time, I'd appreciate some communication.

Is Mo OK?

-I'd stay out of that if I were you.

-Out of what?

It's a personality clash. I wouldn't get involved.

Right, will do.

Aw, bless.

Sleeping Beauty.

Isabella says it's just like Mummy.

How long has your mum been looking after them?

Since he was born, really.

This has been going on all that time?

Nine, ten months. Maybe a year.

And you've been on the energy drinks all that time?

No.

Just a month or two.

SHE YAWNS

Did you tell Mr Hopkins-Clarke all this?

Have you tried telling Mr Hopkins-Clarke anything?

I'm just going to have a word with one of my colleagues.

Tell you what...

We're going to do an ECG...

SNORING

See, there was an outbreak in Shanxi in February.

And his LFTs are deranged.

It's uncommon, but with no vaccination, it could be Hep A.

Damn.

Hmm?

Well, that scuppers my chances of picking up an award.

I was going to put my money on pancreatitis.

Ah, well, it still needs ruling out.

I'll leave that to you, shall I?

How generous of you.

I'm just going to go and talk to Mr Levy.

Phoenix Hill's records. You might want to take a look.

What?

Mmm.

W...

600,000 particles an hour.

-Which means a human sheds one and a half pounds of skin particles each year.

-Amazing.

It's probably even more if you're fat.

She would definitely shed more than one and a half pounds.

Jason, I need to go in here now, OK?

Can I watch?

-No, you can go into my office and start on that IT coursework you were telling me about.

-Oh, sorry.

Right, how are we doing?

Looks like Mr Coalville's had a TIA.

What's that?

Sorry, Transient Ischemic Attack. It's like a sort of mini-stroke.

Knew it was nothing serious.

An attack this significant can't be ignored, I'm afraid.

IRREGULAR BEATING

-What's that? What does that mean?

-Sorry. Could you just...hold still?

I can understand your concerns, Dominic, but...

Essie, do you know how Arthur described coming to work this morning?

-No.

-As the perfect therapy.

He's come in today to occupy his mind

and he really doesn't need this.

Look, all I'm asking for is one hour.

And then if we need to...

I will tell him then.

-One hour.

-Thank you.

-By the way, that blusher really brings out your eyes.

-Shut up.

So, your chariot.

Can you give me a couple of minutes?

Why?

If there's no pain, then there shouldn't be a problem.

PHOENIX YELLS IN PAIN OK, OK, OK.

Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax...

PHOENIX GASPS

Phoenix, why didn't you tell me about the cancer?

PHOENIX SIGHS

I thought I had a trans...whatever?

TIA.

Yes, you did, but it would have been caused by the narrowing of the carotid artery,

which is why we have to operate.

Well...

Why do you want the number for the agency?

-You said I'd be here for two days, Jason will be fine...

-You will be, but you'll be recuperating.

You won't be able to work.

Not for at least...six weeks.

Six weeks?

Oh, come on, I'm hardly a manual labourer.

I can chop a few veg, throw a vac around.

No, you'll need proper convalescence.

Jason copes when you go away on holiday.

Yeah, for a week.

Do you know what six weeks of disruption is going to do to him?

-Phoenix, I understand you being scared...

-I'm not scared, it's just irrelevant.

You've been in remission for six years.

The likelihood of your symptoms being related to the

-testicular cancer...

-Please.

Well, it's extremely unlikely.

Which is why you're taking me for a CT scan?

A CT scan is a standard test for people displaying your symptoms.

It's just so we can rule everything out.

That's what they said last time.

LIFT BUZZER SOUNDS

Hey, where are you going?

CT scan.

-Right, OK. I'll come with you.

-Er, Nurse Harrison was looking for you, actually.

-Really?

-OK, well, erm...just keep me posted.

-Yeah, sure.

Why did you say that?

Because if you and I do this together,

then we don't need to tell anyone else.

LIFT BUZZER SOUNDS

Thanks.

Ms Campbell...

Why has the scheduled elective been delayed in favour

of Mr Coalville's procedure?

It's only been postponed until tomorrow.

That wasn't the question I posed.

Mr Coalville suffered a TIA.

We both know the risks attached to the two-day period following an attack.

And the postponed elective, the abdominal aortic aneurysm, if it ruptures?

The patient's stable,

he's under close observation, it's only an 18-hour delay.

The risks are similar,

but in my opinion Mr Coalville takes priority.

And you're completely satisfied this is the correct course of action, are you?

Completely.

Whoa, sorry, stop, go back to that image?

So, what would you say is the most dangerous part of the stent procedure, Ms Naylor?

Look, I appreciate that you're naturally in awe of me,

but may I suggest that you simply watch and learn?

Yes, and I'm sorry to fuss around you, but I just wondered -

-would you be able to take a look at Ms Keetley?

-No.

-Er, just her oxygen saturation levels...

-Are not as important as my triple bypass patient.

Go and talk to Ms Effanga, or Mr Valentine.

Ah, Mr Val, Mr Valentine...

SNORING

Welcome to Darwin.

THEY LAUGH

So, how's the initiation going?

Don't ask.

LOUDER SNORING

Oh, boy, is that for real?

-If she carries on like that, we'll run out of oxygen.

-Mmm.

Actually, would you mind taking a look at her?

Of course.

Just...I'm worried about her oxygen sats.

They've dropped to 90%.

90? You're right to be worried.

'It's all set.'

Thank you. How did you distract him?

Mr Von Tersch's penis.

Oh, wow, ask a stupid question.

-Look, it's been over an hour now.

-We're almost done.

Risks include infection, nerve damage, stroke and death!

Ah, let's just stay off the internet for today, shall we?

He could die. You didn't tell me that.

Jason, Jason...

The operation only has a 1% chance of death.

And just a 2% chance of a stroke.

-1%?

-1%.

The vast majority of operations are a complete success.

Now, does that sound like something it's worth worrying about to you?

I guess not.

Good. Right. Um...

Now, Allan, erm...

He, I'm afraid he's going to need an awful lot of rest,

so, so he won't be able to work for a while.

About six weeks.

You're going to stay for six weeks?

Erm, well, er...not, not quite, no.

You promised.

You'd said you would stay while Allan was in hospital.

Yes, yes, but I didn't know it was going to be for six weeks, Jason.

So you've changed your mind?

No. No...

I, I just thought...

..that you might like to stay at mine.

That, that wouldn't be so bad, would it?

At yours? For...six weeks?

It'll be like a...

A mini adventure.

-Can I bring my PlayStation?

-Of course you can!

I'll even play you a game if you like.

Well?

It's not cancer.

You have gallstones.

Gallstones?

Tell Mr Levy, please.

Of course.

Relieved?

PHOENIX CRIES

TURNS TO LAUGHTER

-Ow.

-OK, OK, OK...

Let me just clean you up.

Everything all right?

-So he's going to stay at yours?

-Mm-hmm.

Six weeks. It's a long time.

Well, I'm hardly inexperienced in the world of caring, Mr Law.

It's not the same, though, is it?

I mean, vascular dementia and Asperger's,

they're hardly comparable.

Do you honestly think that you can manage?

If you two are going to carry on like this,

-I'd better start going easy on the anti-ageing cream.

-I'm sorry?

Well, it appears to have turned me into a naive schoolgirl.

He goes to college.

He's hardly a newborn baby.

OK. Point taken.

Oh...no, no, no, no, no... Swabs, swabs, quick.

Thank you.

Well, it's the headaches that are the worst.

And I just can't concentrate.

My memory is shot.

Well, your chest X-ray's clear.

And your echo shows no signs of damage to your heart.

How are you sleeping?

Terrible.

I'm up four, five times a night for the loo.

Oh, and then there's the night sweats.

No change.

Nurse Martinez, can I borrow you for a moment, please?

Why is Ms Effanga dealing with Mr Hopkins-Clarke's patient?

Because I asked her to.

I know, I know, but there was no-one else available

and I'm not about to let some personality clash compromise

patient care.

Fair enough, though you might want to think about how you're going to explain that to Mr Hopkins-Clarke.

Ah, got it.

-No-one could have stopped that quicker.

-Nicely done.

Yes, but there's still the risk of infection or damage to the

hypoglossal nerve or the recurrent laryngeal nerve.

God knows what deficit he could be left with.

Anyway, onwards.

If you'd been feeling bad for so long,

why didn't you go visit your GP?

I booked an appointment, but I forgot it, twice.

SHE LAUGHS

Must be baby brain.

See?

-I'm useless.

-SHE SOBS

How can I be a good mum when I'm like this?

You are not useless.

Sandy, could you just sit forward for me for a sec?

All right.

OK, and just lie flat.

Just relax, yeah.

Relax.

What's the saturation level?

It's still 90.

OK, let's get a pulse oximeter, ECG and CPAP.

-And can you set it up in the side room for me?

-Sure.

I'll take care of Ms Keetley's care from now.

It appears we're dealing with acute cholecystitis caused by gallstones.

Gallstones?

Yeah, gallstones.

Why am I the only person that doesn't know what's going on here?

The CT scan indicated the inflammation of the gall bladder

and the ultrasound confirmed the presence of gallstones.

You knew I thought it was Hep A and I asked you to keep me posted.

Well, I didn't get a chance to.

Right, and you just happened to be skulking around in the side room.

You're avoiding me.

You just wanted to beat me to a diagnosis, didn't you?

Didn't you?

Yes. Yes, I did.

You wanted a competition.

You can't expect me not to compete.

There's an award at stake.

It says here you can die from laughing?

No, don't. You're already ill.

It could happen to you.

It happened to someone after 20 minutes of continual laughter,

whilst watching an episode of TV's The Goodies.

Maybe that's enough for now, yeah?

Save some for Serena tonight.

Oh, one last one.

Go on, then.

Your feet can produce up to a pint of sweat in one day.

There are half a million sweat glands in the feet.

However, compared to the amount of saliva a human produces,

this is nothing.

VOICE BEGINS TO FADE: During the course of an adult's life,

up to two swimming pools of saliva can be produced...

Allan?

Allan!

Yeah, her name is Sjofn and she's a goddess of love.

He's made one for everyone, you know? Even you.

Really? Who am I, then?

Er, you are Njord.

-Njord?

-Njord.

God of sea, wind, wealth and fish.

Fish?

Yeah, I think it was more about the sea.

You know, surfing and that sort of thing?

Hm. OK.

Hey there, big man.

Let's have another one of your disgusting facts.

Jase, you all right, mate?

Allan's dead.

Dr Shreve, can you get Ms Campbell?

Your ambition is poison, you know that?

-Arthur, you can't...

-Even if it was my last chance

of picking up an award for anything ever,

I would still never do that to you.

Right. We have a duty to share information.

Why is no-one else outraged by this?

Arthur, the patient was never at risk. I was dealing with him.

Do you know what? Sometimes, you're still that same selfish,

-twisted little man...

-Right, stop. That is enough.

Go on, tell him.

What?

SHE SIGHS

Mr Hill is in remission from cancer.

Dr Copeland thought it was best that you didn't know.

Jason.

His mouth was like Mum's when she died.

Thin. Dry.

He said to stop reading, but I carried on.

I'm afraid that Allan had a stroke...

..but he is still alive.

No, he isn't. He's dead.

I saw him. He wouldn't move.

Why don't I take you back in to see him?

No! No, no, no, no.

Jason, Allan was momentarily unconscious,

but he hadn't died.

Stop it. Just stop it. I don't want to know. He's dead.

-He's dead!

-Jason...

-He's dead.

Everything's fine. Everything's fine.

-Everything's fine.

-Jason, please. Jason.

You promised me he wouldn't die.

You promised me he wouldn't have a stroke.

Well, I'm sorry if I confused you.

Why do you keep telling me things? Things that aren't true?

Everything keeps changing.

I was just trying to help.

-SIRENS BLARING

-Too loud! Everything's too loud!

Yes, it is rather.

Perhaps we should try to find you somewhere a little quieter.

Ms Campbell, you might like to return to work.

Well, I'd have put some Genesis on

if I'd known we were going to be working in complete silence.

Right. The wall of the gall bladder is necrotic.

Suction, please.

Can you stop looking at me like that, please.

Treating me like a toddler in a kitchen.

Oh, forgive twisted old me for caring.

-Gentlemen.

-You know I didn't mean that.

If Mr Hill had been honest from the start, this would be all right.

Is it any wonder that he didn't mention it?

What do you think he feared the most?

Arthur, please.

It coming back, obviously.

Not the pitying looks?

Not the fact his friends would see him more of a disease

rather than a human being?

Can you stop looking at me like that, please?

-Mr Levy, can I be excused?

-Yes.

-Arthur, you don't need to go.

-It's Dr Copeland's case

and I don't appear to be helping.

Why did you let him go?

I can't see Calot's triangle.

There's a potential to damage the common bile duct

and we need to move to open surgery, so at the moment,

I need an assistant who can concentrate, all right?

SNORING

My uncle Mike used to snore like that.

Used to really freak out the dog.

So how you finding Darwin?

Well, Ms Naylor is certainly something.

You've just got to stand up to her.

Actually, she's like a dog.

Smells fear.

I'll tell her you said that.

THEY LAUGH

SNORING

Anyway, it's not really her you need to watch out for.

Let me guess.

Mr Hopkins-Clarke?

Apparently, you add glamour to the ward.

-Did he say that?

-Mm-hm.

SHE SIGHS

She's stopped breathing.

It's rather peaceful here, isn't it?

Some people would say you can hear yourself think.

You can't, of course. It's an absurd thing to say.

Is he really alive?

Yes.

I don't expect you to believe me, necessarily.

I understand you feel you've been misled

far too many times for one day.

I believe you.

You don't lie.

People say things sometimes with the best of intentions.

It's our duty to show them compassion.

That was a nice spot on the CT scan.

That could have easily been missed.

Well, that's the years of expensive training for you.

Shame I couldn't spot a mole on my best friend's back.

You can't blame yourself for Arthur's cancer.

I've seen the guy get out the shower 100 times.

I live with him, for goodness' sake. I should have spotted it something.

None of this is your fault.

Except possibly this, you know, weird compulsion to censor yourself

and be nice to people.

THEY LAUGH

I was trying to be thoughtful.

What, trying to make every last memory a happy one just in case?

Please don't say that.

When Rachel had leukaemia, I learnt that cancer is a beast.

And you don't slay a beast by being delicate.

So if you carry on treating Arthur with caution,

then he'll think he's already lost the battle.

If you want to make things right, make them normal.

LIFE SUPPORT MACHINE BEEPS

Well, you evidently got through where I failed.

I just inflamed the whole situation.

I was wrong to prioritise Mr Coalville.

It was a fortunate decision.

Mr Coalville was obviously at high risk of a stroke.

Thank you.

Emotions cloud perceptions, Ms Campbell. That's inevitable.

But one's personal feelings should never blur

one's professional integrity.

SHE SNORES

That's the tenth.

Heart and respiratory rate?

Both decreased, again.

KNOCK ON WINDOW

So, what exactly is the problem here?

Obstructive sleep apnoea,

which you would have known had you listened to your patient.

You don't treat atrial fibrillation by picking and choosing symptoms.

She had night sweats.

Energy drinks don't cause that.

May I ask how exactly

you arrived at this unusual diagnosis...?

-We've been monitoring the patient...

-..Ms Effanga?

She stopped breathing ten times in one hour.

Her heart and respiratory rate were severely compromised.

Understood, but this is a side room.

Hardly a controlled enough environment

to give a formal diagnosis, don't you think?

Have you conducted a polysomnography?

-No, but...

-And her severity - on the Epworth scale?

Presumably, she has filled in a questionnaire.

No.

Well, it's a good job I've already referred her

to a specialist sleep unit

so she can be assessed properly.

Oh...

I'm so sorry.

I had no idea, Ms Effanga.

You've already made a referral?

Yes.

Well, in that case, I'll leave you to it.

I seem to recall asking you to report any problems

to Mr Valentine or Ms Naylor.

They weren't around.

Ms Effanga was the only available doctor.

HEART MONITOR BEEPS

BPM's 50.

Bradycardia.

Respiratory arrest.

We'll need an Guedel airway.

As quick as you can.

Yep.

Ms Effanga was just worried about her heart rate.

Was she?

1.4 milligrams of atropine, please.

No. No.

I can't do it to him. Not again. It's not fair.

I can't keep changing the rules.

This isn't six weeks any more.

We both know Allan's caring days are over.

This is long term, maybe permanent, full-time care.

It's a huge commitment.

Who else has he got?

Professionals.

Oh, it sounds so cold.

Allan's a professional. Is he cold?

It doesn't make you a bad aunt.

Then why do I feel like I'm suddenly abandoning him?

With respect, Serena, this isn't about you.

What is the one thing that Jason needs?

I don't know.

Consistency. A...

A fixed routine.

Exactly.

But what if there's no-one else?

I don't understand.

Jason's recently had his care package reviewed.

What if his support's further reduced?

What if they can't replace Allan?

Oh, there you are.

Right, I have something to tell you.

THIS turned my neck green!

Why anyone would spend that amount of time cobbling together

that bit of old toot, anyway, is beyond me.

"Toot?!"

Of all the precious materials you could have used, you chose copper -

and you expected me to wear it. I mean, it's just insulting.

Are you actually complaining after what you've done today?

Oh, get over it. I've apologised. Move on.

OK, right, you were cooing over this.

I mean, even before I'd finished it, you were...

I lied to spare your feelings.

I lied. But apparently that makes ME Dr Evil.

Well, thank you very much.

I'm well aware of that now so...

No, no. I wore that for you!

But now my scabby green neck has ruined any chances I have

with a certain barista downstairs.

Why didn't you just tell me?

You know why.

But I'm not doing it any more, OK?

This stops now...

..because you are not going to die.

Not unless you make me watch any more of those

boring Norse god documentaries.

I didn't make it for you, actually.

What?

Yes, you were going to be Loki -

the trickster, god of chaos and mischief.

Oh, well, that's charming - chaos and mischief.

Yes, this one was for Zosia.

Eir, she's a goddess, not a god.

I thought you might actually work that out yourself.

-Then why did you give it to me?

-Because you liked it so much.

We'll be transferring Allan to the stroke unit.

They're specialists, Jason.

They'll be able to help with his rehabilitation.

But I can't give you any guarantees, I'm afraid.

I wish I could.

Recovery rates from strokes are unpredictable.

And I'm sorry but...

..that means we may need to adjust our plans.

Jason!

Jason!

DOOR SLAMS AND LOCKS

Jason!

Please unlock it.

I want to be on my own.

Fine.

But can I suggest you come a bit closer to the door?

Why?

Because I need you to hear me properly

and I don't want to shout.

Why do you want to talk to me?

You don't want me around.

SHE SIGHS

Jason...

I call you regularly.

I visit you every Sunday without fail.

Why do you think I do that?

Because I want you in my life.

And you'd be more than welcome to stay at mine

for a week or a month,

or even six weeks.

But not forever?

If you live with me, you'd have to listen to the Archers.

And my cooking is definitely not up to Allan's standards.

And I really...

I REALLY don't want to risk

destroying a very special relationship

with a nephew...

..that I've grown to love.

You listen to the Archers?

Afraid so.

I'm not Allan, Jason.

I wish I was...

but I'd be a pretty poor imitation.

I know.

Excuse me?!

You'd be an awful PA.

You're a bit too old anyway.

-Right.

-But I'll still listen to the Archers with you.

I'd like that...

..a lot.

Yeah, I'll send that over now.

Actually...

could you check something for me?

When was that referral made?

I see. Thank you.

So, if it does turn out to be sleep apnoea

then, obviously, that could also be affecting the atrial fibrillation -

as well as the energy drinks and the stress of being a new mum.

Anyway, I've fast-tracked the referral,

so you shouldn't be waiting too long.

Now, it's important that you keep that on for the time being.

We'll have a proper chat later.

I'll look forward to that.

Thank you...for listening.

It's all right.

Good luck.

Mo, I have to tell you something.

He didn't make the referral until after we told him?

Yeah, checked myself.

There's no point doing anything though - he's Teflon.

Give a bloke a title and he's invincible.

Right, well...

I reckon there's a bottle of wine across the road

with our names on it.

That sounds like a plan.

By the way, good work today.

It takes a lot of backbone questioning a consultant.

Four to six weeks?

That means I'm going to miss Ripple Field.

Well, we all have a cross to bear, don't we?

It's the downside of open surgery, I'm afraid.

-If you had come in sooner...

-Fair enough.

I won't do it again.

I think you should change your name back.

-HE SCOFFS

-No thanks.

And what is wrong with "Dominic" exactly?

Nothing.

It's just a bit...

nice.

It sounds like a toddler.

A toddler?!

Hmm, it does a bit.

I mean, it doesn't have the mystique of Phoenix, does it?

You're looking for mystique?

Something rising from the ashes?

You changed it after the cancer.

I wanted to draw a line.

Reinvent myself.

That's when I took up all the re-enactments.

Followed my passion.

-Sad, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Changing your name is sad.

Changing your name from Dominic to Phoenix...

Well, that's just tantamount to idiocy, really.

Well, thanks for that(!)

Changing your life, however...

..that's really impressive.

-What?

-Your neck's green.

Green?

Oh, yeah. Ben.

He was a real scream.

I remember the time him and my friend, Billie Jean...

And you met a Smooth Criminal?

Or a Stranger In Moscow.

Michael Jackson.

-You know?

-Of course I know.

I know everything.

Juvenile initiations, sleep apnoea diagnosis...

Did you honestly think I'd allow myself

to be ridiculed in my own department?

Incidentally, Valentine, how old are you?

-Yeah.

-It wasn't just me.

Why didn't you say anything?

And miss watching the new girl squirm?

Where's the pleasure in that?

Sorry.

Given these subtle hints you've been dropping today,

I'm assuming you want to be part of the stent project.

-Yes, that would be amazing.

-No, don't sit down.

Go and get me a coffee

and maybe I will forget today's Off The Wall antics.

Isn't it kind of Sue to cover for Allan

while we're sorting things out?

Look, I'll see you tomorrow.

We can have a chat then, can't we?

What's this?

Allan's PA will need to know his routine.

Tell him to get better...

..soon.

Right then.

See you tomorrow.

SHE GIGGLES

APPLAUSE

So, now,

we must move on from the proper proceedings for a moment

and to the award for sexiest doctor.

The nominations are...

Mr Oliver Valentine,

Mr Raffaello Di Lucca

and Mr Henrik Hanssen...

How amusing.

And the award goes to...

..Mr Henrik Hanssen.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, words fail me

so we must move to the CEO award

for outstanding patient care.

This award is to recognise departments

which have consistently exceeded patient expectations

whilst achieving exceptional outcomes.

Most departments are...

not without fault -

however, I'm glad to say that all the nominees

could be deemed worthy winners.

But this year, the award goes to...

..AAU.

APPLAUSE

PHONE BEEPS

OK, so, when am I going to see you?

What?! That's ages away!

All right, well, Piston, make sure it's sooner rather than later.

Yeah.

Miss you too, sis.

Ta-ra.

SIRENS WAIL

Oi, Law!

Didn't you hear me?

What's wrong?

It's my mum.

She's dead.

What?

Yeah, it was this morning.

Gene, my brother, has been trying to call me all day.

Oh, Jesse...

Look, sorry.

I've got to go.

Where? Back to London?

Yeah.

All right. Come on, I'll drive you.

-No, no, no, it's all right.

-No arguments. I'm taking you.

SIREN WAILS

All of us, in the NHS, are facing unprecedented challenges.

Efficiency saving targets,

the reclassification of antisocial hours,

seven-day working weeks.

Demands which challenge our professional...

and personal obligations.

And this award...

is for all the junior doctors,

nurses and consultants

that have passed through the doors of AAU.

May we preserve our passion...

..dedication

and commitment...

and continue to...

..make the impossible possible.

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Oh, you've caught me at the end of Genghis Khan.

What's that - a film?

No, it's a series on military leaders.

I got it imported.

Why don't you take it?

-I can't.

-Go on, I insist.

I've finished with it and you would love it.

12 discs of pure bliss

and an Easter egg of attrition warfare thrown in.

Go on, take it.

You can watch it in your bedroom.

Thank you, that's very kind.

We have to get going.

-You take care of yourself.

-Will do.

And thanks.

See you in September!

-September?

-Yep.

Why will we see him in September?

The Second Battle of Newbury.

-I told him to put our names down.

-Why on earth...?

It'll be fun!

Morven suggested it.

HE GROANS