It Tolls For Thee Holby City

-I know things didn't work out with Mr T.

-It's got nothing to do with Mr T.

He jumped into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

I heard them talking about how you cheated on your husband with a woman.

-Serena, I...

-It's your business. I quite understand.

Maybe we should both...leave it at home in future.

You have secondaries...in your lungs.

SHE GROANS SOFTLY

Hmm! Hello you.

-Big day.

-Oh, my God!

-You just remembered?

-Are you being serious?!

-Deadly.

-Oh, my goodness! I can't believe this!

HE LAUGHS

HE SIGHS

BIRDSONG

-Hmm.

-'Where's your sense of romance?'

It's all right for you, you don't have to write a best man's speech.

-Don't worry, Dominic, it's not that type of wedding.

-Yes, but the best man has to make a speech.

So you're up for it, then?

-Fine, but I used all my good stuff at your engagement.

-Oh.

-PHONE CHIMES

Yes, it's the vicar.

Brilliant! She says it's OK now to do all the wedding stuff,

-and do all the boring licencey stuff later. Yes!

-That's Perfect.

-I know.

Yay!

SHE LAUGHS

Morning.

-Can you believe it?

-HE LAUGHS

-Miss Effanga?

-HE CHUCKLES

Where are you?

DOOR CLOSES

ENGINE STARTS HE LAUGHS

Mo?!

You should be sectioned.

Who should?

Romeo and Juliet over there.

-You not going through with it, are you?

-Yep.

-But I thought that was...

-The booze talking? Exactly.

-Well, it's not.

And you, young lady,

-are going be my maid of honour!

-MORVEN LAUGHS

MORVEN SIGHS

Oh, are you...are you not eating?

Er, no, I'm not hungry.

-You sure?

-Uh-huh. I may be a bit nervous.

What is a maid of honour anyway?

Um, well, I can tell you that, actually.

Right, the Ancient Romans believed that weddings

were haunted by evil spirits,

so what they'd do is that they'd dress up a female guest

identically to the bride,

so that the evil spirits wouldn't be able to identify who the bride was.

She...didn't actually want to know.

-Oh.

-MORVEN LAUGHS

-I think I'd rather be a maid of dishonour.

-DOM LAUGHS

-Right, c'mon, let's go, go. We're going to be late for work.

-Yes!

-DOM GROANS

Oh! Come on.

DOM HUMS WEDDING MARCH

-Thank you.

-For?

-I dunno, just being you.

I've just done a sick in my mouth.

Don't you feel incredibly privileged having this man in your life.

Yes, well, how else would I know all the intimate details of Napoleon's bowel movements.

-You know what, a patient called us a handsome couple the other day.

-Really?

-What are you drinking, meths?

-Dom, do you think we're a handsome couple?

I think you need to call Narcissists Anonymous.

Well, I can't wait to make you Mrs Arthur Digby.

-Then why don't you just get on and do it?!

-Sorry?

Why don't you just get hitched right now

-and just leave the rest of us to live our lives in peace?

-Maybe he's got a point.

-What, seriously?

-Yeah.

-But...

-Not now...tomorrow.

-But how? Where?

-The hospital.

-In the multi-faith room.

-We can't.

-Why not?

-Why not?

What do you say?

Just say yes, you silly cow!

-Mo!

-Hiya.

-Yes!

LAUGHTER

Wow! Do you always get that reaction when you turn up at a do?

Yeah. You done your chores?

-What chores?

-Pint of lager, thanks.

Oh, that's good! Every one's a winner!

No, actually can you make that a bottle of champagne, please?

-Oh, Mr Ambassador.

-That's me.

So what's this big surprise?

I'm not patronising you.

Well, I'm sorry if it sounds like that. I...

Jason, I've got to go. I'll see you in a bit.

Oh, for crying out loud!

-Is there a problem?

-My car's been stolen.

-Are you sure?

Well, this is my spot and it's not here.

-Do you want a lift home?

-I'm...I'm fine.

-I'd like to help.

-If you're sure you don't mind?

-Think of it as an olive branch.

Thanks.

You can make whatever calls you need to from the car.

-A toast.

-To what?

-Womb transplantation.

-You've lost me.

-I hope not.

-What?

-(It doesn't matter.)

-Go on, then.

-Mmm.

So, there I was,

minding my own business, elbow-deep in a hysterectomy.

-Too much information.

-When all of a sudden our CEO came looming up

-in that inimitable fashion of his...

-Hmm.

-..and he made me an offer I could not refuse.

-Ooh.

-Ooh!

Somehow he's managed to secure me a six-month secondment

at the brand-new transplantation centre in Gothenburg.

-I-I-I take it you said yeah?

-I bit his blooming hand off.

-And why wouldn't you.

-Yeah. I'm due to leave next week.

-Next week?

-Yeah, but there's been a change of plans.

-Shame.

-So I'm flying out tomorrow night instead.

-Tomorrow?

-It's crazy, isn't it?

-It's mental.

-I know, I know. I'm finalising all the details tomorrow morning.

-Oh.

Oh, wow.

HE SIGHS

HE RETCHES

HE SIGHS

MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS

HE SIGHS

HE GASPS

HE SIGHS

-Sounds like you lot have got something to celebrate.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, me too, actually.

-Really?

-Yeah!

You ever have one of those days

when you felt like life just changed for ever?

-I wish I'd known.

-Why?

Cos I could have organised a leaving do.

-No, no. This is good enough for me.

-Is it?

Yeah! Yeah. Bottle of bubbly with my favourite person on the planet.

-Lovely.

-Yeah, but, you know, it could have been a proper party.

No. No. Quality, not quantity.

Well, I guess you deserve a goodbye kiss.

Thank you very much.

BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY

Hmm.

What?

Shut up.

Mmm!

HORN TOOTS

What happens now?

Whoo!

SHE LAUGHS Mmm!

You search for "best man jokes" online

and you literally find the most unfunny things ever written.

Well, I'm sure you can come up with a few Arthuresque classics.

-Such as?

-SHE LAUGHS

I've got one.

What about the time when a patient's toe came off in his hand!

-BOTH LAUGH

-That is brilliant.

-Oh, c'mon, you pull off one toe...

-I'm totally stealing that.

-Um, the Vicar's here.

-OK, well, I shall leave you to it.

See you in a bit.

-Hello.

-The happy couple, I presume?

Thank you so much for doing this at such short notice.

-It's my pleasure.

-It's very much appreciated.

-You're my first.

-What, wedding?

-At the hospital.

-Oh.

I only took over officially a month or so ago.

Well, it's not going to be a big event.

Every marriage is a big event, regardless of the guest list.

True.

-It's Arthur, isn't it?

-Yes.

-You are aware this is a symbolic ceremony?

-Absolutely.

You won't be officially man and wife for a couple weeks or so.

Well, I'm sure we'll cope somehow.

Was this your idea?

Er, sort of. Um...

Incurable romantic, eh?

-That's my Arthur.

-MORVEN LAUGHS

-Wah!

-Oh, my gosh! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

-You're in the right place, aren't ya?

-What are you doing here?

-Well, I thought I'd cancel my list and hang out with my woman, you know.

-What?

-I'm joking.

-Right.

-Hey, so what happened to you this morning?

-Oh, I got paged.

-Oh, right.

-So you weren't sort of sneaking off like a thief in the night, then?

-As if.

-That's a relief.

-I wouldn't do that to you.

-Good, good. And you got my text?

-No. Er, yes, yes.

-Right, and..?

-I don't know how today's going to pan out.

-We've both got to eat.

-I know, but...

-So it may as well be together.

-That'd be lovely.

-It's a date, then.

-This poxy, bloody phone.

-Oh, and this is Debbie Richards.

-Battery's crap.

-She's a patient of mine.

-Is there anywhere I can charge it?

-Hello, Debbie, I'm Miss Effanga.

-You look a bit rough.

-Excuse me?

-I know a hangover when I see one.

-Yeah. She has a tendency to say things as they are.

I hope you're the piles woman, cos I've got some major grape action

-going on in the undercarriage department.

-I wondered if you might take a look at her for me.

-Oh...

-Sorry.

-Get everything sorted last night?

-Oh, well, car hasn't turned up,

-police don't want to know, insurance company's useless.

-Oh, dear.

Then Jason got in a dreadful strop

because I had to work instead of watching Mary Beard with him.

-But apart from that?

-Oh, well, plus all the usual Deputy CEO detritus.

-Drowning in paperwork?

-Forgotten what a scalpel looks like.

-And now you're stuck with me for the day.

-Really?

You're a surgeon down, so they sent for the cavalry.

Well, welcome back to the madhouse.

Got a case that might cheer you up though.

Wish I could, but I haven't got time.

Oh, you've got time for this one, I promise.

Go on, then, I could do with a distraction.

Male, 52, potentially serious internal injuries.

-Trauma patient?

-It was certainly traumatic for the chap involved.

Richard Bliss.

Serena Campbell. Hello

Fletch, would you like to fill Ms Campbell in?

-Er, yes. Dickie...

-Richard, please.

..was admitted by the ED after impaling himself...on a bath tap.

Excuse me?

I slipped as I was getting out.

And the tap...wedged itself.

A picture...paints a thousand words.

Right

Ouch!

I had some sort of dizzy spell and the next thing you know...

Who cut you out?

The fire brigade. I was lucky my mobile was in the bathroom.

-Er, he's had an X-ray.

-Had anything back?

-Not yet.

When did you last eat?

I had a mini pork pie just before I slipped.

-Right.

-And I did have a glass of dry white wine shortly after.

-The pie?

-Um, no, the...accident.

-Ah.

-It was nearly lunchtime.

Right, well, we'll see what the X-ray tells us

and take it from there.

Less of the smirking, Fletch. I'm not in the mood.

Er, what have we got? A couple of I&Ds, an appendicectomy,

-umbilical hernia.

-That's all very dull.

I think we'd better keep you away from the hernia patient.

Excuse me. Why?

-Personal trainer, 26.

-Yes, and..?

-Nothing.

I hope you're not suggesting that I...?

What, you might be interested in a buffed, bronzed, sexy male patient?

-No, heaven forbid(!)

-Good. I should think not.

-Dr Digby.

-What..?

-Are you with us?

-Yes.

-Good.

-His mind is elsewhere today.

-Why?

-Nothing.

He's getting married this afternoon.

-Um...that's a bit sudden.

-Yeah, I know.

-Well, congratulations.

-Thank you.

Right, well, I best get on and greet our new arrivals.

DOM CLEARS HIS THROAT

-Better put you on light duties, then, I think.

-Mr Levy.

-Yes?

-I just wanted to...

Listen. Listen, don't worry about it,

-I wasn't expecting an invitation.

-It's not that.

Oh, sorry. What?

Would you be willing to give me an endoscopy?

Yes, of course.

-Yeah, I'll book you in.

-Now.

-Now?

-If you have time.

-You haven't got enough on your plate today?

-Please.

LAUGHTER

I cannot believe you just did that to me! BOTH LAUGH

I can't believe he did it to himself.

-BOTH LAUGH

-Do you think he's a plumber by trade?

Oh, dear! Anyway, um, how do you want to proceed?

If there's no free air, take him into theatre and yank it out.

Sounds like a two-man job.

Just one strong man.

Er, so shall we toss for it?

-I'll do it.

-Why you?

Well, I probably have the edge in that department.

Oh, big macho army medic, are we?

Shouldn't that be big, lying macho army?

-We can draw a veil over all of that.

-So how do you want to sort it out?

I'll arm-wrestle you for it.

-You're having a laugh.

-Come on.

-No.

-Yeah.

All right.

-It's your funeral.

-We'll see.

-Ready?

-Yep.

Go!

BERNIE GROANS

BOTH GROAN

Come on!

-Yes! Ha!

-Who'd have thought it?!

It's not the dog in the fight, it's the fight in the dog.

PAGER BEEPS

Ah, sorry, Hanssen calling. Got to go.

I'll see you in theatre.

Yeah...you can hold my coat.

So, wedding bells?

Now I bet you that was Morven's idea?

And let's face it,

we're never actually party to these decisions, are we?

We're always duped into thinking it was our idea in the first place,

and then we're led by the nose

down the aisle like a prize bull to the slaughter.

Does Morven know you're here?

What about Dom?

No, you didn't want to say anything. There's no point in worrying people

till you know what's going on, I suppose.

Especially on a day like today.

OK...

let's take these shots.

SHUTTER CLICKS

OK, Julie, can you take the biopsy for me?

Right. Now, I'm going to get the lab to test it

before we discuss the results.

OK? I'm sure they'll fast-track it through for us. Sit up for me.

That's it.

Are you sure you don't want to take the rest of the day?

Well, at least take a break until the local wears off.

Good man.

-Why is it I'm up here again?

-We need to take a closer look at the baby.

-Why can't he do that?

-Oh, because, Ms Effanga is our expert

-when it comes to matters of the heart.

-That's me.

-Do you think my phone'll be charged yet?

-Keep still, please, Debbie.

-I've got to bell my bloke.

-So, lunch?

-He doesn't know you're in here?

-No.

-You've got to keep dad in the loop.

-He ain't the dad.

-Oh?

-He's in jail.

-Right.

-Yeah, broke into a house bladdered, made himself a Pot Noodle, fell asleep.

-Master criminal, eh?

-I'm supposed to be getting something for him.

-Who?

-Danny, my new fella. I'm going to be late now.

-The baby's the priority.

-He's going to go mad.

-Tough.

There's this new ribs place on Beesley Street.

Sorry, can we hold off on the ribs for a minute.

OK, we're done. Rosie, could you clean up, please.

-Then check on Debbie's phone.

-Ta, babes.

-Sorry.

-About what?

-About going on.

-No, you weren't.

-I know, but we've just got so much to talk about, haven't we?

-I know.

And the great thing is we've got for ever to talk about it,

so no pressure if lunch is a bit of a stretch, OK?

Derwood, you really are the nicest man in the world.

Ah. Ta, babes

Like, ta, babes.

Woo-hoo-hoo! Ohh!

DOM LAUGHS

-Oh, hi!

-Mr Shreve.

-Good to see you.

-Dr Digby.

-How's the new liver?

-We're about to find out.

I'm just about to take Dad for a few more tests.

And then, apparently, I have a wedding to attend.

-I even had to bring my own dress!

-LAUGHTER

-It's my old prom dress.

-ARTHUR COUGHS

-Oh. Darling, are you all right?

-ARTHUR COUGHS

-Yeah, it's nothing.

-Your throat sounds a little bit sore.

-It's fine.

-You'll still be able to recite your vows?

-Absolutely.

I expect you want my blessing.

Er, ideally, yes.

Congratulations, son.

You make my little girl very, very happy.

And to me that's all that matters.

MORVEN LAUGHS

-Miss Campbell.

-You rang, M'lud.

-Indeed, I did.

-What can I do for you?

-We have a serious situation on our hands.

-Oh, really?

-In that we appear to have sprung a leak.

-What?

-Do sit down.

Or had our security compromised in one way or another. Coffee?

No, I'm fine. How do you know?

A cache of highly confidential files have been posted online.

And I've been reliably informed

that they may feature in at least one of tomorrow's newspapers.

-What kind of files?

-Patient records

and other matters of utmost sensitivity.

Do you know what scale we're talking about?

Well, if someone has hold of our entire database,

I'd say the wealth of material is somewhat wide-ranging, wouldn't you?

-So what do we do?

-I'll look after the press side of things.

-Right.

-In the meantime, I would like you

-to locate the source of the breach, please.

-Fine.

I've forwarded the information that has been leaked thus far,

but if you could study it

to see if it yields any clues as to the perpetrator.

You think it's an inside job?

A member of staff may have sold the information for whatever reason.

It's far more likely to be some spotty geek in a bedsit,

on a break from playing with himself.

What a wonderful turn of phrase you have, Miss Campbell.

I'll liaise with our IT boffins.

-There you are. Right, before or after?

-Before or after what?

-The fish and chips. The speech, it's going to make a difference.

-I don't know.

-Oh, come on, Diggers! I really feel like you're not owning this wedding.

-Fine. Er, after.

-Are you sure?

-Sorry. Dom, can I have a moment please?

-Yep.

-Last chance.

-Yeah.

OK, thank you.

I take it you've heard from the lab.

Do you want to come in the office?

No, here's just as good as any place.

You sure?

Please, just tell me, yeah.

You've developed secondaries...

in your stomach.

I thought that might be the case.

It's almost certainly the cause of your...recent collapse.

See, the problem is that the speed with which they've developed

-so soon after the lung.

-Meaning?

Meaning the chemo is having little or no effect.

-How long might I have left?

-I wouldn't like to say.

It would help if you could put...some sort of figure on it.

In my experience of this kind of case...

...months...

..rather than years.

I was right, then?

What about?

Marrying Morven while there's still time.

Excuse me.

-Is it dinner time yet?

-No, your nil by mouth.

-I could eat a horse with a scabby head.

I've got your scans.

I'm afraid your baby has a heart problem.

It's a condition

-called transposition of the great arteries.

-What?

It's when the two main arteries coming from the baby's heart swap over.

So the one that's meant to go to the right is going to the left, and vice versa.

-Is it going to die?

-We need to switch around the arteries.

So we'll deliver the baby by planned C-section, check it's OK,

-and then whisk it off to surgery.

-What, I'm going to have it now?

-Soon, yes.

-Can I have a quick word?

Back in a sec.

-Alone at last.

-You've seen the ultrasound.

-Yeah.

-So you've seen how small the baby is?

-Hmm.

See, I think its best chance of surviving the switch procedure is if I do an atrial septostomy.

-Yeah, but it's breech.

-The heart's smaller than a walnut.

Yes, but we've already committed to a C-section.

-When she's closer to full term.

-We can't risk spontaneous birth.

-The poor mite looks more like 24 weeks than 38.

-We've got to get the baby out now, Mo.

-It's my call.

-I know it is, but...

-Then, let me make it.

Fine. Fine.

-Right, OK.

-There's no way I'm having this baby now.

-Yep, I agree.

The baby's way too premature to operate outside of the womb.

So what, you're going to do it while it's inside me?

We would do a procedure which would help mix the blood

and improve oxygenisation while the baby's still growing.

Then, once he or she's born, we can switch the arteries.

You're the noony man, what do you think?

I think Miss Effanga's in charge.

Go for it. There's no way I want this baby out just yet.

Good.

-You think this is funny?

-FLETCH LAUGHS

I'm in agony here. You should have more respect.

Richard, I have every respect for you.

Oh, I thought it was Dickie.

-Mr Bliss.

-What?

-Could you keep your voice down, please?

-You're taking issue with me?

-Well, you're upsetting the other patients.

-But he's upset me.

-How so?

-He's laughing at me.

-I'm not laughing AT him.

-Fletch.

-Trying to explain how I'd been feeling hot and cold.

Come on. I mean, you know,

-you've got to have a heart of stone not to smile at that one.

-Sounds like an apology's in order.

-Yeah. Um...

-FLETCH CLEARS HIS THROAT

Listen, I'm very sorry.

-Getting scrubbed in?

-Now?

-Yeah, we're on.

-Oh, I'm right in the middle of this hacking thing.

-What hacking thing?

-Haven't you heard?

-Some braindead troll decided to ruin my day.

-If you haven't got time...

-You're not going to be in theatre?

-Well, this big job's broken out, I'm afraid.

-Please.

-Sorry.

-You've been so...understanding.

-It's your call.

-SERENA SIGHS

Fine.

Let's get...cracking.

-Oh, imagine if Dickie hits the headlines.

-Don't.

"Holby pull plug on pervy patient."

You're in the wrong game, you know that? FLETCH LAUGHS

CHATTER

Can I help you with that?

Oh, thank you.

Gotcha!

-What're you doing?

-Enough of patients and pagers,

how about some us time?

Shouldn't you be packing for Sweden?

I went to see the looming lanky one earlier and I said,

"Nothing gets between me and my woman!"

-You didn't.

-Well, not in so many words.

-Thank God for that.

-I did turn the post down.

-What? No!

-Yeah.

-You can't!

What I can't do is let you slip through my fingers.

Er...this is your big chance.

-Oh, I know.

-Not me, Gothenburg.

Who needs meatballs when I've got you.

-OK, you need to go and speak to Hanssen.

-Nothing left to say.

-Tell him you've changed your mind.

-I've already done it.

-Tell him you've changed it back again.

-It's only some stupid job,

-what does it matter compared to us?

-Derwood.

-Maureen.

-I um...

I don't... I don't think there is an "us".

Sorry, I'm coming on a bit too strong, aren't I?

ROBOTICALLY: Too much information. Must slow down.

HE LAUGHS SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Last night, it was...

-Oh, it was lovely.

-Oh, it was more than lovely, it was amazing.

But it happened because you're leaving.

What do you mean?

I got carried away.

So it was a...a goodbye present?

No, no, no. Nothing like that.

-It's just not...

-What?

Well, not what you think either.

I see.

I am so sorry.

No, don't be.

I've just got...

Stupid mug!

DOOR SLAMS

We're very happy with your immunosuppressant levels.

Excellent.

And we'll keep you on the same doses of steroids as before.

So, we're...we're all good?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes. Yes, of course.

-Why?

-It's just the way you were talking,

-it sounded like it might be bad news.

-SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY

I'm really sorry if I gave you that impression, Morven.

Mr Levy was trying to project some...gravitas!

So, um... Well, that's brilliant, isn't it, Dad?

It certainly is. Thank you

Oh, it's a pleasure.

I can't wait to tell Arthur.

Yeah, he'll be delighted.

Actually, do you know where he is?

-You haven't seen him.

-Anyone'd think he's trying to avoid me.

-Perhaps he's superstitious.

-SHE LAUGHS

Maybe.

-Ah, the man himself.

-Ah. Hey.

-Hiya.

-How did the tests go?

-Very well, I think.

-Have you got a minute?

-Yeah.

-It's just there's something I need to discuss with you.

-Can that wait?

-Not really.

-Please!

-Why, what's...?

How would you like to take a trip down under?

Have you heard of the Sydney Melanoma Unit?

-They're doing some absolutely cutting-edge treatment over there.

-Dad's managed to pull a few strings,

and they want to talk to you about being part of some trials.

-Some of the work they're doing sounds incredible.

-Really?

I'd fund the whole trip.

Consider it a wedding present.

We could go out early,

-squeeze in a honeymoon.

-What do you think?

-Nothing ventured.

-I, er...

Obviously, we don't have to make a decision right now,

especially today.

Have a think.

And a read.

Arthur, I wouldn't put you through this

-unless I thought there was something in it.

-No.

Yeah, thank you. I'll, er... I'll go and...

-When you say "leak".

-Yeah, I don't exactly know what we're dealing with yet.

The press'll have a field day.

Tin hat time.

-Fletcher!

-What are you doing here?

-I couldn't miss this really.

-It's not a circus.

-Actually, I had a thought.

-Oop, steady(!)

-About the hacking business.

-Go on.

-Why don't you send an e-mail to all the staff

-asking if they've had a break-in recently.

-What?

Yeah, ask if they've had anything nicked from work.

Phones, tablets, computers.

Yes, that's a good idea.

Fletch, can you clean his tap up and give him it back when we're done.

MONITOR BEEPS

Don't tell me. You left your laptop in the car last night.

I'd been working on a staffing review for Hanssen

and I had to take it home the night before and then I left it in the boot.

-It didn't occur to you that...

-And now why would it?

That would take an actual brain to make that connection.

-Do you want me to do the honours?

-Er, no,

got to get something right today.

Right.

SERENA SIGHS

SERENA GROANS

-SERENA SIGHS Or maybe not.

-Bit more oomph.

MONITOR BEEPS

SERENA SIGHS HEAVILY

SERENA SIGHS

Thank you, Fletch.

The arm wrestling, you let me win, didn't you?

Me? Never!

There you are.

I'm on my break.

So, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Sydney Melanoma Unit?

They're doing cutting-edge research.

-Right.

-Morven's father can get me in.

-Arthur.

-Yeah, I've been cross-referencing some of their work

with some...research that focuses solely on secondaries.

I thought maybe there'd be some way to decelerate...

Just...just stop, all right?

Surely, it's, um...

Arthur.

Arthur...

don't do this.

I just want it to go away.

It won't...

not now.

And...and we both know that.

Surely, it's...

You're torturing yourself.

And Morven too if you don't tell her.

It's too soon!

ARTHUR SIGHS

I just don't want to leave her.

Not yet.

It's all right.

Listen.

Will you stop going on! The baby needs an operation

and all you're bothered about is your stupid skunk?!

Fine, do your own poxy deal.

Don't even think about it.

-It's me fella, he drives me to it.

-Even so.

-All he cares about is his weed.

-I gathered that.

What, was you earwigging?

-I gave up the spliff soon as I knew I was pregnant.

-Uh-huh.

-What, you think that's why the baby's so small, innit?

-I wouldn't like to say.

No, cos it could just be bad luck, couldn't it?

-Do you smoke weed around your other kid?

-No.

I swear to ya!

Good.

-I can prove it.

-I'm not the police, Debbie.

-Cos he's not with me.

-Sorry?

-He's with me mum.

-He lives with her?

-Yeah.

-There's nothing about that in your notes.

-Cos it's not an official thing.

-Right, so...

-And this one's going there an' all.

-To your mum's?

-If I keep the baby, it's all going to go wrong.

-What will?

-He'll leave me, I know he will.

-Your new bloke?

-I love him.

-More than your own flesh and blood?

Should've kept me mouth shut.

Mine and your mum's wedding was beautiful,

apart you're your Auntie Jane looking like a Munchkin.

MORVEN LAUGHS

Do you know, I used to love

-looking through your wedding album when I was a kid.

-Yeah?

Yeah.

I hid it under my bed for months.

-Outrageous!

-SHE LAUGHS

Mum's veil was like something from a fairy tale.

Yeah, that was your mum, never knowingly underdressed.

ARTHUR COUGHS

Hello, future husband.

Hi.

Any more thoughts on Australia?

-No.

-There's no rush, Dad.

SHE LAUGHS SOFTLY

Er, I've got something that I need to tell you.

All right.

So, the last few days I've been feeling a bit washed out.

But you never said.

Then last night, I...

-vomited and I...I passed out.

-When?

At Albie's.

But we were...

Anyway, um...

..I asked Sacha to check it out.

And?

Talk to me.

Says it's...

..months rather than years.

Look... No, no, no.

No. No! No!

-MORVEN SOBS

-No. No!

-MORVEN SOBS

-No.

No! No!!

-Do you want me to make the call?

-Sorry?

To social services. Do you want me to make the call?

-I still think we should wait till we've heard back from her mum.

-Why?

-We might be able to work something out.

-I'm going to do the right thing.

-So the kids are better off in care, are they?

-It's not for us to decide, is it?

-MONITOR BEEPS

-Maybe there's a way around it.

Here is a woman who is happy to pass her kids off to the nearest relative

just so she can keep her lowlife pothead partner happy.

Well, if the mum's doing a good job.

They may well get custody,

but we've got to go through the official channels, all right?

You don't think they deserve a chance to...?

You know what, you dragged me into this risky procedure...

-Under the circumstances, it was the safest bet.

-Think about the children, Mo. Just think about them.

How all this chaos will affect them. They're going to have two mums,

one swanning in and out of their lives as they see fit.

How can that be good for them?!

Continue?

Ah, it's a bleed!

MONITOR BEEPS

That's a lot of blood.

Just need to get the guide wire in place.

Maybe we should stop.

Once I've got the balloon in...

MONITOR BEEPS

-Mo.

-I've dilated the septum.

No.

-MONITOR BEEPS

-We should be able to....

No. No, sorry. I'm sorry, we're delivering this baby.

Crash section now, please. Step away, Miss Effanga

MONITOR BEEPS

I want to go home.

What about the wedding?

We can't.

Not now.

Are you sure?

-I'll go and speak to the vicar.

-No, no, I'll do it.

This isn't fair.

(I'm sorry.)

SHE SIGHS

'I have appointed my Deputy CEO, Serena Campbell,

'to locate the source of the leak.

'And I would urge whoever is responsible,

'to question the value of releasing further sensitive material

'about our staff and patients into the public domain.'

I found the culprit.

That's remarkably quick work.

-It didn't take much detecting.

-I knew I could count on you.

-You may not say that when I tell you who it is.

-Why?

You're looking at her.

-Go on.

-SHE SIGHS

My car was stolen last night.

-You didn't think to mention this before?

-Well, idiotically, I didn't make the connection.

-You're certain that the material was in...?

-Yes, yes.

I had hard copies of staff records in my boot, along with a laptop

containing thousands of patient notes.

-Dare I ask why?

-I was working from home.

No, I mean why they were left in your car?

I don't know. I had every intention of bringing them back into the office but I got distracted.

Obviously, there will be serious consequences.

I take full responsibility.

Immediate suspension followed by an inquiry, I'm afraid.

Sounds fair.

-Ah, well, we'll find a way through it.

-Thank you.

By the way,

do you know about Dr Digby?

Yeah, I gather he's dragging Dr Shreve

kicking and screaming down the aisle.

Not that.

I knew you'd try and ruin my big day.

-I didn't want to tell you until I...

-It's fine.

It doesn't feel real.

None of it does.

Steady, you're going to make hernia man very jealous.

MONITOR BEEPS

-How you doing?

-All right.

Oh...he's gorgeous.

Did you have to phone social services?

-Yeah.

-Why?

-You can't just give your baby to someone and keep it a secret.

-It's my mum.

Yeah, and I'm sure they'd prefer it if the children stay with her, but...

She said I'm a disgrace.

Your mum did?

She said I don't deserve kids!

She's ashamed of me.

-Then, prove her wrong.

-How?

-If they get to stay with her, make sure you do your bit.

-I try!

Try harder.

They're your babies,

make 'em a part of your life.

You'll regret it for ever if you don't.

-So I've e-mailed those notes.

-Right.

If you could do the paperwork for Mrs Ebrell's discharge.

Will do.

-And tell Zosia.

-What?

OK. Well, do I have to?

Well, I don't really want her

finding out from a porter or something.

I'll see you later.

Shall we, um...?

-Telegram for Dr Arthur Digby.

-No, no, no. No.

Thank you. Thank you.

Um...

It's nothing.

It...

It was...just a surprise wedding telegram.

What does it say?

It doesn't matter now.

Show me.

"I can't wait to kiss you."

I'm so sorry.

Is it too late to still marry you?

What?

I can't think of anything I want more.

How did Debbie take it?

Not great.

I'm sure they'll sort something out with her mum.

Hope so.

-Are you ready for the off?

-Oh...yeah.

Yeah, but I...I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.

-Well, I hope it goes well.

-Thank you.

Bye, then.

Actually, there...there is something that I want to say.

-Haven't we said enough?

-No. No, I think you owe me that much.

You see...

I'm a...I'm a patient man, Mo.

And I've been there for you, year in, year out.

-I've been a good friend.

-I know.

And all the time, I was wishing and I was hoping for something more.

And then last night, finally,

it seemed that...that things had changed.

-But apparently, all I am to you is a charity case.

-That's not true.

You can't mess about with people's feelings like that.

It is not right. It is hurtful.

You are a hurtful person, Mo.

You are just in it for you.

And I am glad that I am leaving.

The further away I get from Holby the better.

So...

..goodbye, Maureen Effanga.

Derwood.

Derwood. Derwood, please!

Stop! Just, please, stop!

-KNOCK ON DOOR

-Come in.

Wow!

Do you mind?

Are you OK to go through this?

Of course I am.

HE COUGHS

ARTHUR SIGHS

Allow me.

Perfect.

-Oh, sorry.

-Er, what was all that about before?

-All what?

-With Derwood?

-What's it like knowing your own mind 24/7?

-Reassuring.

-I think I might have just made

-the biggest mistake of my life.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, maybe.

-Where is he?

-Airport.

-JAC SIGHS

-So what are you waiting for?

Wait! Wait!!

Airport, please.

SIREN WAILS

She'll be here soon.

What time do you call this?

How's he doing?

Surviving.

ARTHUR COUGHS

COUGHING CONTINUES

-WOMAN:

-Isn't she beautiful!

-MAN:

-She looks amazing.

-WOMAN:

-Wow!

Suspended with immediate effect.

No resignation demand?

-No. Not really his style.

-No.

-Good job or I might have walked.

-You don't mean that.

-Don't I?

-Well, look at it as an opportunity.

-How's that?

-You don't have a car to drive home tonight.

-Thanks for pointing that out.

Jason won't be expecting his supper for at least a couple of hours.

-True.

-Sounds like the perfect excuse for a gin, to me.

-Yeah, not...not tonight.

-I clock off in ten.

Thanks, I'll pass.

OK.

OK, I give up.

Huh.

Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds.

Or bends with the remover to remove.

Oh, no.

It is an ever-fixed mark,

that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

It is a star to every wandering bark.

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Arthur?

As always, an impossible act to follow.

Do you have the ring?

N-N-No.

Oh!

-MORVEN LAUGHS

-It's all right, I've got it.

-LAUGHTER

-Dad.

It was my grandmother's.

Thank you.

And now this is the bit where you kiss her.

BRAKES SCREECH

-Where's Mr T?

-I missed the flight by five minutes.

No romcom ending, then?

Oh, well, you'll just have to call him instead.

Oh, I dunno.

What now?

Maybe it's fate.

-What is wrong with you?

-I should just leave him alone.

-Why?

-Doesn't feel good, hurting a man like that.

-Yeah, well, practice makes perfect.

-He deserves better.

-Better than what?

-Me.

So, that's it, you're just going to give up?

I never had you down as a quitter, Mo.

Mo? Mo?

Maureen?!

I'm going to let him get on with his life. All right?

'Lift going up.'

-MUSIC PLAYS

-Do you know what?

You cannot beat fish and chips out of a bag.

Especially with a glass of bubbly.

We could still try for Australia.

Yeah, maybe, Dad. Maybe.

Thank you.

OK?

Yeah, it's just so, um...

Yeah.

Not today.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

-Still waiting for this oration.

-Sorry?

-Your speech.

-Oh.

-Yeah, I think now's as good a time as any.

-Er...

Well, I think I left it on the ward, actually.

-Oh!

-Ad-lib?

-Yeah, come on, Dom.

-Go on, Dom!

ALL: Go on, then.

Here we go. APPLAUSE

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, Mr Hanssen.

-Champagne?

-Thank you.

-Um, chip?

Don't mind if I...do.

Well, as you were, Dr Copeland.

-Yeah!

-Yes!

-Come on, Dr Copeland.

-Can't hear you at the back.

-Stop!

Come on, Dom.

What can I say?

Erm, Arthur, when I first met you,

I thought you looked like a cross between Harry Potter

and some sort of disgruntled rodent.

LAUGHTER

Three years on,

and...we've grown to be quite fond of each other, haven't we...?

-ALL:

-Aw!