It's Only Love If It Hurts Holby City

It's a thank you letter from the recipient of Elinor's heart.

-She's arresting again.

-No!

Get the perfusionist. Don't just stand there. Go and get her!

I've lost her all over again. On your watch. Again!

I wish it was you that was in the morgue.

-I want both. I want to go part time.

-Why don't you go part time?

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Well, then let's do it. Team Hector?

-Team Hector.

You stay out of my business and I will happily stay out of yours.

Are you going somewhere?

If you must know, I'm going to Zosia's.

-Serena!

-SHE BANGS ON DOOR

-Serena! Open up!

-I'll call security.

Yeah, hello. It's Fletch. I'm in the...

I'm on the roof stairwell and I need someone to come upstairs and open

the door as quick as you can, please. Right, OK.

They're on their way.

-Serena!

-HER VOICE ECHOES

Go.

Go on, fly!

Just put him under his baby gym, stick on his CD,

he'll be happy as a bug for 20 minutes. Yeah.

So what's in the box? Am I going to be impressed?

Mary Berry would, would she?

Right, love you, too. Bye.

You all right, love?

Right as rain.

-Do you know where you're going?

-Hospital.

Wait, what's that?

-Ooh.

-Oh...

-Can we get a trolley, please?

I've got you.

What's your name?

-A fid.

-Your name's Afid?

-Trixie.

-Right, OK.

The thing sticking out of my backside...a fid.

-Yeah, I can do that.

-No, it's fine, I'm OK.

-Let me do something.

-You've done enough.

I'm sorry. That... That sounded mean.

Don't be silly.

I'm the one who's sorry.

Please don't hate me.

I don't hate you. Stop saying that.

Let's come back from this.

You have every right to be angry with me

-but I am sorry, I truly am.

-I know you are.

I don't want to lose you.

It was a moment of madness.

It was a flash of crazy jealousy and it won't happen again.

I promise.

This woman's pregnant and has a stab wound to the buttocks.

Why is she in my ward?

Irregular heartbeat.

-Any history of heart problems?

-No.

Trixie, how are you feeling?

Even more stupid than I did when I fell on my own fid.

She said fid. I told you she said fid.

-So please, just yank it out.

-What's a fid?

Stick a plaster on it and I'll be on my bike.

Sorry, no can do. You're in Darwin. It's a cardiac ward.

-What's a fid?

-Cardiac? I'm in the wrong department, love.

I need the Removing Sharp Pointy Things From Buttocks department.

Ooh, has Mr T been baking again?

You betcha.

Sorry, can I ask, what actually is a fid?

The thing sticking out of my bum cheek.

-I need to get myself to the emergency place.

-No, no, no, no.

-Don't move. Don't move...

-Uh-oh...

Well, the next time you give a nail gun to your apprentice

you teach him where to point it, or rather where not to point it.

-What do I do?

-Your job.

You don't think I've been doing that?

-Just try and stay out of her way.

-She's my boss.

-I'll talk to her.

-I'm fed up of treading on eggshells.

I'm scared everything I say she's going to bite my head off.

I'll talk to her.

10mls of xylocaine, a green needle, 3.0 prolene,

and a pair of surgical pliers, please. Anyone seen Ms Campbell?

No.

Ms Wolfe?

No. Bigger.

That's nasty.

So chest pains, high temperature, low BP and now this.

And they think Keller's the best place for him.

Zosia's down looking after Mr Armstrong post op.

Yes, get her for me. Thank you.

Gerry, hi, we're going to get one of our cardiac surgeons

to take a look at your chest

just in case there's a link between the leg abscess

and the shortness of breath.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-AAU seem to think that Gerry has empyema.

Sorry, Dr March, this is Gerry Fooks.

Soon to be a doctor himself.

-Really? Where're you...

-Anthropological behavioural studies.

Right.

Well, nothing's leaping out at me

but I'd like to run a chest X-ray and a CT.

Very good. Do me a favour, would you?

Would you smell that for me?

SHE COUGHS

That's ripe. That's very, very ripe.

And the smell is...?

You haven't forgotten everything I taught you

before you migrated to the heart, have you?

Gangrene? Venous ulceration?

Dr Copeland, can you smell that for me?

Um...pseudomonas.

Very good. You win today's infection identification prize.

-Sacha, it's ten to.

-Yes, I'm coming.

So soon-to-be-Dr Gerald Fooks, Dr March, Dr Copeland,

I will leave you together. Couldn't be in better hands.

Pack that. Clean it.

Antibiotics and a tetanus booster, I'll come back and stitch it.

You OK?

Serena...

Have you been smoking?

Nope.

I can smell it on you.

Well, pot, kettle, darling.

Yes, but I smoke. You don't.

So shoot me now.

-Serena...

-Mm?

Go easy on her.

If you need to take some more time off it'll be all right.

I told her I wished she was in the morgue.

Not exactly motivational mentor-speak.

She'd be perfectly within her rights to make a complaint.

Mitigating circumstances.

Or me just stuck on some hideous merry-go-round of blame and regret.

Look, today is about doing your job,

getting the department back on track.

-You do care about your job, don't you?

-Nothing else in my life.

Nothing?

Now is not the time to be fishing for affection.

So do what you have to do to dig yourself out of this mess.

I am not apologising to her.

Flowers, chocolates, fruit basket.

A bottle of Tequila, e-card.

Maybe even a novelty cookie with a simple message saying

"I'm sorry", written in swirly writing and a smiley face...

I really am sorry.

Mm. So you call me, say you're staying over. And then...?

SHE CLICKS HER FINGERS

We fought...

..and then we made up.

Meanwhile, Norma-no-mates is sitting alone in her flat

with two cold pizzas, and a must-see TV box set that remains unseen.

I will make it up to you.

You will. Tonight.

Tonight.

What's wrong?

-Nothing.

-Dom. Don't "nothing" me.

Just because we're not hanging out, doesn't mean

I can't read you like a price tag.

Last night was just a bit...

Tell me.

Tonight. OK?

It's been lovely getting to work with you again.

It's like old times.

Bosoms.

What?

Bosoms.

Bosom buddies.

-Oh, OK!

-I keep you warm and safe in my bosom and you keep me

warm and safe in...

It's what Arthur would've wanted.

-What is it?

-Nothing. It's fine.

-Hi.

-Hey.

And remember, Dom. It's what Arthur would've wanted.

Bosoms.

That looked fun.

We're not even going to talk about it?

You said you wanted me dead.

-Not my words exactly.

-OK, wished I was in the morgue.

What do you want, an apology?

I want to know how we can move on from this.

We're not best friends going through a crisis in our relationship.

I am your boss. You are my F1.

Let's not do this again. Let's not go round and round, OK? I'm sorry.

Please, I just want to know what I can do to make it better.

I don't want you to do anything. Except your job.

That's it? After everything we've been through.

Just do. Your. Job.

Ms Campbell. Dorothy Chamberlayne, collapsed in the supermarket.

You say collapsed, I say taking an impromptu rest.

-What, flat out on the floor?

-Well, maybe I was doing yoga.

Complaining of excruciating abdominal pains.

-Probably just the oysters.

-Oysters?

And it's Dotty. Never Dorothy. Only my mother called me Dorothy.

-But you said oysters.

-Makes me sound like a lesbian.

-Not that I've got anything against them.

-Oysters?

Oysters or lesbians.

In fact, some of my best friends are oysters.

Her baby's heartbeat's as strong as a cart horse,

but Mum's is a little bit weird.

-Once this is out, we'll do an echo.

-Do an ultrasound, too.

-Mm-hm.

Swab, please. Can I get a bit of pressure on the buttock?

You know, last week he made his own gnocchi. You believe that?

I don't know how he finds the time,

what with work and baby yoga and play dates.

That man has got "Best Dad in the World" written all over him.

Mm-hm. And you've got "Smug Mummy" written all over you.

I prefer "Awesome Mummy".

OK, vessels look good. I'm going for extraction.

Haul away, me hearty!

What in all things holy is that?

-It's a fid.

-Funny. What's it used for?

Besides piercing buttocks? Who knows?

-Right, I have consults to do. Are we done here?

-Mm-hm.

Well, pus makes me hungry. So, Pulses for a panini?

Urgh, yuck.

MOBILE PHONE

Is that Isaac again?

-What is so urgent?

-He's probably just checking in.

-Checking in?

-It's to see if I'm OK.

Why wouldn't you be? You saw him 20 minutes ago.

Well, it's probably nothing. I'll catch him later.

Er, excuse me. Pulses? Panini?

I forgot my wallet. You go on ahead. I'll catch you up.

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

RINGING STOPS

So you ate some oysters?

Two dozen. I know I shouldn't.

-When?

-Not since I had half my lower bowel removed.

Crohn's. They don't agree with me.

-So when did you eat the oysters?

-Last night at my 65th birthday bash.

Congratulations.

Drank me body weight in fake champagne.

-Nice.

-Spent this morning with me head in the toilet.

Not nice.

Dragged myself along to SupaPrice for a hair of the dog.

Nothing like a bottle of stout to flush away a hangover,

-and then it hit me.

-What?

16-wheel monster-truck loaded with bricks.

-I'm not following you.

-Well, that's what it felt like.

Oof! Next thing, I'm on the floor writhing like a python.

Knickers in the air, cursing like a drunken oil rigger.

Call me if anything interesting develops.

Definitely in the running for Miss Congeniality, that one.

All right, hop onto the bed and we'll take a look at you.

Oh, I would love to, dear, but I haven't been able to hop

since '97 when I lost the use of me left leg. Spinal tumour.

Followed by MRSA contracted in hospital.

Really messed up my summer.

I had tickets for Glastonbury.

Radiohead!

-I'll get us a porter.

-Rubbish!

A big boy like you should be able to scoop me up in those beefy arms.

Non?

Right, then.

You stick it between the warps and you use the hollow blade to thread

though the next strand of rope, for splicing and knots.

That's so great.

Every deck hand, sailor, skipper, crew should have his own fid.

Sorry, I have to ask,

but how did you end up with your fid sticking out of your butt cheek?

Splicing a Dan buoy rope.

I put the warp on the engine box,

the spike sticking up through the rope...

..and...

And...?

This goes no further.

Whatever you say to us, you know it's in the strictest of confidence.

Any of my deck crew find out, they'd wet themselves.

I don't get it.

My grandad, too. Won't stop taking the mick till Christmas.

Like I said, strict confidence.

I fainted.

Auntie Serena, I've been to the library...

Right, well, whatever it is, can we do it later, Jason?

-..and checked out a book, for you.

-Not now, love. Please.

I borrowed it with my library card from the self-help section.

Uh-huh. Let's do it later.

It's entitled How To Deal With Bullies And Bullying,

written by Avril Watson.

For you.

So you can learn how to stop bullying Jasmine.

Bernie told me all about it.

Yeah, Jason... Just don't.

-And Jasmine will learn how to build up her self-esteem...

-Go away.

-But it... It's for you.

-Don't, Jason.

You can read it for two weeks, then I have to take it back

or I'll get a fine.

Then you'll be able to stop being a bully.

Oh, just leave me alone.

Where were you? I was waiting.

Sorry?

Pulses?

Oh, um... Paged. Sorry.

Did something happen between you and Isaac last night?

I already told you.

No, I... I mean...

We fought. We made up.

Right, so when...when you fought. Did...anything happen?

Arguments generally are about something.

Between you and Isaac, Dom. Did he try...

I know you're just on tour, but I actually have some work to do.

-Is that your PhD?

-Yeah.

The Correlation Of Man With Natural Vernacular Environments

And The Effects Of The Post-agricultural Revolution

On Proto-domesticated Herd Animals.

It's complicated.

Herd animals? Is that why you were camping on the moor?

Yeah, it's part of my research.

I thought you might need some help.

No.

Although your expertise is always appreciated, I think we have this...

-Pseudomonas.

-Yes.

-Bloods?

-Done.

We are just waiting on the results before we drain the abscess.

BP is low at 90 systolic. Pulse is high at 120.

Temperature's 39.

Dehydration. Infection is spreading.

We need to put him on IV antibiotics and fluids.

Shouldn't you be skipping back to Darwin?

I'm monitoring a post Swan-Ganz patient

and Mr Levy requested I consult on Mr Fooks' chest pains.

Just like old times.

Have you been in close contact with farmyard or wild animals?

He's been camping.

Worked in a veterinarian practice? Farm? Animal rescue centre?

PhD student.

-Dr March, could you chase up those bloods please?

-I can do that.

Dr March...

Like I said, I have two patients here, one critical post-op.

So, no, sorry.

I'm not going anywhere.

You want a fight, Serena Campbell, you fight me.

-You want a punch bag, here it is. Take a swing.

-Leave me alone.

No. I'm getting through to you if I have to rip your head off

-and pour sense inside it.

-Just try it.

-Come on, then. Hit me.

Shout at me. Do whatever you want, but to me.

-Don't tempt me.

-Because I can take it. I'm tough.

I'm bloody tough and I love you. So you want to vent,

you vent at me. Not at Jasmine. Definitely not Jason. Me.

-Leave me alone.

-No, I love you enough to put up with anything

you dish out.

I can take it. They can't.

You think you loving me will make me feel better.

Well, guess what?

It doesn't.

You made me jump.

Do I make you nervous now?

It just startled me.

Remember when Ric caught us snogging in here?

-How's your side?

-Don't.

Did you tell her?

No.

She knows.

No.

I think she does.

Well, if she does, she didn't hear it from me.

Do you know how it makes me feel when I see you two laughing?

-She's my friend.

-When all we do is fight.

We laugh, too.

We do.

-All right, maybe not recently, but...

-You've got me.

You don't need her.

That looked intense.

Yeah.

-Everything OK?

-Sure.

What's going on?

It's private.

Like those bruises?

What?

I saw them, Dom.

They're just bruises.

From what?

-I fell.

-Where?

In the shower.

-Dom...

-Excuse me.

Are you happy now?

Reality check time. You're six months' pregnant.

You have an irregular heartbeat and you appear to be working full-time

-on a fishing boat.

-It's a crab potter.

-Crab potter.

-We don't fish. We don't net. We pot.

OK, well, the likelihood of you feeling faint or blacking out

doing manual work in your second trimester is...

-You're a heart doctor, right?

-Consultant cardiac surgeon.

What's that, then? Like higher up than doctor?

Pretty much the highest.

Probably had to fight tooth and nail with the old boys,

-private school ties.

-Worked like a dog.

Probably not a whole bunch of black lady heart surgeons

-at your pay grade, right?

-Precious few.

Good going, girl. You should be dead proud.

Thanks.

You have any idea how many female skippers run 30m-plus crabbers

along the south coast?

No idea.

You're looking at her.

You are hell bent on destroying everything because you're in pain.

She resigned. I didn't ask her to.

You know how damaging this could be.

Dumping her rotation, sacking her mentor.

You're letting her ruin her career.

Like I said. Her decision.

I tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn't listen to me.

Yeah, well... She's stubborn.

Because she needs to hear it from you.

Did you know about the bruises?

-Did you know?

-Er, I...

-Did you see them?

Yes, I saw them. You want to talk about this now?

-You examined him.

-What?

-The bruises!

-What bruises?

-You didn't notice his other injuries. His back, his ribs?

He's talking about Gerry Fooks.

How did these injuries occur and why didn't you mention them?

-I don't want to go into it all.

-All of what?

How they happened. You know, my research.

People generally don't understand.

-Try us.

-Or else, they laugh.

Why don't you just tell us?

In this job we've become pretty unshockable.

I've been living as a goat.

So you had a spinal tumour followed by a bout of MRSA.

Oh, the MRSA was the worst. You'd better believe it.

Itched like a bag of spiders dipped in pepper.

Well, it can be a very nasty infection.

Compared to that, the cancers were a picnic.

CANCERS, you said. What, as in plural?

Mm. These beauties aren't real, you know. More's the pity.

Could have done with these bad girls years ago.

So you had a spinal tumour and breast cancer?

Double mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

It's amazing you're so cheerful, given that you had such bad luck.

Bad luck? What you talking about? I've had a charmed life.

-Medically. I didn't mean...

-I met my second husband in chemo.

Raphael, Brazilian.

Oh, had a smile that could melt mozzarella at 50 yards.

I'm sorry, I wasn't implying...

Should have seen him dance. Buns like walnuts in Lycra.

SNIGGERING

OK, and today you have...

abdominal pains, dizziness, low blood pressure and vomiting.

Like a Technicolor fountain.

Well, we're going to need a full abdo CT.

Yep.

We'll find out what's going on.

I'm not going to beg you.

Good. Don't.

Ms Wolfe thinks its professional suicide.

Don't care. I want out.

Oh, spoken like a child. An impetuous child.

How about a child who's sick of getting it in the neck?

-Sick of hard work.

-I am never going to win.

I'm never going to impress you.

-So working together is not a good idea.

-Suicide.

-My choice.

-I think you should stay.

-No.

-I want you to stay.

-I've made up my mind.

-Please stay!

-No!

It would be better to finish the rotation,

and I don't want you to leave because of me.

-Too late. I've resigned.

-Well, un-resign.

You don't have to do this. You don't have to ask me to stay.

-I want you to.

-I am letting you off the hook.

-I want you to stay!

-Oh. You're going to bully me into staying?

-I said STAY!

You lay another finger on her and I will snap it clean off!

She pushed her.

If I hadn't stepped in when I did, she would've hit her.

She physically threatened her colleague.

Hanssen can deal with this now.

-I really don't think we need to involve him.

-I already have.

And this time, no warnings. No slapped wrists.

I know what you're capable of.

Come on.

Jasmine.

She's right. I probably was this close to hitting her.

Oh, no, Serena. Serena..

I guess I am officially now an out-of-control monster.

Truly...

I don't recognise myself in me any more.

I want to help you. I so want to help you.

I... I don't know what to do.

Jason...um...

Jason says he wants to move out.

He says that now Alan's better,

he wants to go and live at Alan's house.

I made a fatal error while we were grazing.

You actually ate grass?

Never came off all fours. Wore an untreated goat skin.

-I must admit, it does sound pretty crazy.

-Not to me.

And not to hundreds of species dysphorics who would identify

with feelings of goat.

So what was your fatal error?

At first they all kept their distance.

But they soon accepted me and paid little or no attention.

And why did you get such a kicking? Or butting, sorry.

Grazing up a hill. The lead goat, the billy,

is always at the highest point.

Grazing on the newest grass. The others follow lower down.

So you didn't understand the grazing etiquette?

I stepped out of place. Got above him.

And in his eyes, contested his position of strength.

-So he put you straight?

-With his horns.

-Ouch.

-He was only doing his job.

An alpha male needs to be alpha or else he loses all respect.

Well, maybe he doesn't deserve respect.

Or maybe accepting you're a beta is part of survival

as a goat within a herd.

If you don't accept your position on the hillside, you get beaten up.

Regularly.

Or...

you end up alone.

An outcast.

Right, well, these antibiotics should certainly blitz

that infection for you.

So you're saying it's a double whammy?

My seals are shot and my pump's knackered.

Well, if by seals you mean your aortic valves,

not shot exactly, just not in great shape.

Because it's only got two flaps?

Normal valves are tricuspid. That's three leaves that open and shut.

Your condition's congenital, found in 1-2% of the population.

Lucky I lasted this long, eh?

Well, it seems you cope perfectly well under normal circumstances.

-Only with pregnancy...

-Means my pump's working harder.

Mm. And the aortic stenosis restricts the blood flow.

I don't get enough juice to make everything work like it should.

-Hence the blackouts.

-Like I said, double whammy.

It's like when my boat's engine doesn't create enough

-hydraulic pressure to power my winch.

-Um, yeah.

A crab boat that can't haul crab pots is as much use

-as a chocolate tea pot.

-I can fix it.

-Good-oh. Get your gloves on.

-We have two options.

We can do a balloon valvuloplasty which will widen

your stenotic aortic...your pipes.

We do this so we can buy you more time to carry the baby to term,

and then replace the valve at a later date.

Or we can replace the valve now which will reduce

-any risk of heart failure.

-I can hear a "but".

It's more risky for the baby.

But it does reduce the risk of you having a heart attack

whilst we wait for the baby to go to term.

There's no question then.

Prioritise me. I come first.

So Ms Naylor was very keen to be here

but I thought it might be best if we were to try to address this

-within the department before...

-Oh, Henrik, please let's not do this.

Whatever Dr Burrows says is true.

For months now, I've been a cow.

So long story short. We don't need to discuss it. It's all true.

Maybe it would be better to see what it is that Dr...

No. I wanted to hurt her and she deserved none of it.

So mea culpa. I'm guilty. It is entirely my fault.

Mr Hanssen, can I ask a question?

-Of course. But perhaps we should allow...

-I'd rather speak now.

Mr Hanssen, I lodged the complaint with Ms Naylor's help.

-And we take it very seriously.

-What if I retract it?

What, retract your accusations?

Don't be stupid. Why would you do that?

It is your privilege to change your mind and alter your statements

-in any way...

-I want to stop it.

This is enough. I don't want it to go any further.

That's your prerogative, but I strongly advise...

This isn't what I want. And it's not going to help anyone.

Clotting factors are OK. There's no need to fit a drain yet.

Just keep him on 30-minute obs.

A holiday from being human, eh?

It sounds ideal. Away from prying eyes and wagging tongues.

Dom showed me his bruises.

Oh, yes?

They look pretty sore. Should maybe get an X-ray.

Oh, don't think I haven't nagged him.

Right. Stubborn boy.

You should at least complain to your landlord.

-You think?

-Well, those stairs are obviously dangerous.

If he could fall like that, they need non-slip treads.

Uh-huh.

But Dom slipped in the bath.

Right.

I thought he said he fell down the stairs.

Dodged a bullet.

Pardon?

Well, that is the correct expression, isn't it?

-Oh, you mean...

-There seems to be a lot of confusion.

Dr Burrows seems at once to be very aggrieved, and yet very loyal.

She has every right.

What, to be loyal?

No, to be aggrieved.

Well, all the same, you seem to attract a huge amount of loyalty...

..from all quarters...

-I'm not sure it's deserved.

-..not least here.

-What Jac accused me of...

-Now, be careful what you say, please.

I want to say it. I want it acknowledged.

Here and now is not the place.

Anything you say here is hospital business and I will be duty-bound

to act accordingly. Psychologists, occupational health, etc.

Maybe you should.

Now you've already dodged one bullet today.

Quit while you're ahead, please.

But if you do want to speak to me in private...

You're the CEO. You're not allowed to do private.

Try me.

There's almost nothing I wouldn't do to help you.

How can any pregnant woman say that? You know, "Save me, not my baby."

If I had to give up my life for Hector I would do it in a heartbeat.

I have no doubt.

Look, I get that career is important.

And running a crab boat business is physical and all.

But a mother-to-be has to have a balance, surely?

You know, being a mother has really changed you.

-Yeah, I know. Well, how could it not?

-You're so much more....

-Grounded? Yeah.

-No. No, no.

Self-righteous, sanctimonious.

Look, Trixie just needs to understand that my way -

a balloon valvuloplasty - is the best option for her baby.

She wants the procedure with the least possibility of her dying.

Not going to let her die.

You do know you're not a goat, right?

HE BLEATS

I mean it. I'm not joking.

Yeah, well, it certainly sounds like it.

And you're not some kind of beta male.

So you're saying I'm alpha.

I'm saying that you don't need to take any crap.

What, goat crap?

That isn't funny. This is not funny.

It is my life.

Yes, and I'm your friend, and if I didn't stick my neck out

and say something, then I would be a pretty terrible friend.

Maybe I don't need my friends meddling in my love life.

What, so you're just going to buckle down and assume the position

-or end up an outcast.

-I thought you said I wasn't a goat.

I am not going to stand by and watch.

I've already lost one friend this last year.

I am not about to lose another. PHONE RINGS

Hello, Keller.

I liked it better when she was angry with me.

She's thrown you a lifeline, Serena.

-For heaven's sake...

-But at what cost? Look at her.

I make her life hell because I'm all bent out of shape about Elinor

and she lets me off the hook

because I'm all bent out of shape about Elinor.

Now is not the time to wallow. Now is the time to go back to work.

Argh! It really hurts.

Your temperature is still going up

and the antibiotics should be bringing it down.

I'm a little worried... I'm a little worried that it's becoming septic.

We're going to need to cut away some of the infected tissue.

OK, yeah. Do it. Anything.

No more living as goat for you.

I'm going back as soon as I get out.

You are joking?

-What, you're just going to go back to the moor?

-Back to the herd.

-My herd.

-Well, you're nuts.

I need... I need to finish my research.

No, what you need to be doing is be very careful.

This kind of infection can become incredibly dangerous.

I learnt a good lesson.

I'll be safe. So long as I stay in my place.

Argh!

I just want my friend back.

I AM back.

This isn't about me versus Isaac.

What you have with him is completely different.

I should hope so.

Thing is, you're different now.

To be honest, I want my Dom back. The old Dom.

-Not under-the-thumb Dom.

-I'm not under the thumb.

So...

..tonight?

Definitely.

Tequila slammers. Thai takeaway.

Three episodes of Thrones, type thing.

I'll bring a penknife and we can become blood brothers, sisters...

-whichever.

-SHE LAUGHS

Will you show me?

Or at least some painkillers.

I've taken some.

X-ray?

Fracture. It's tiny. Hairline.

-You don't have to do that.

-Hold me.

Well, it's...

Worse than cancer?

You have an enlarged aortic aneurysm.

Well, I don't know what that is,

but I can tell from your face it's not good.

The main blood vessel leading from your heart is swollen.

It's what's causing your pain.

You need a juxtarenal aortic repair to eliminate the chances

of a rupture.

What happens if it ruptures?

Pop me clogs?

Well, we just need to make sure that it doesn't rupture.

Let me tell you something.

My sister always nagged me to put my money into a pension fund.

She's saved thousands. Me, nothing.

"You'll regret it," she says.

Regret it? Me?

See, I was never blessed to have children of my own,

so I splurged it all on hers. My beautiful nieces and nephews.

Every penny.

I earned it, we spent it.

So, who's laughing now?

-Hey.

-Hey.

-You look pleased with yourself.

-Well, I am.

-Look, about tonight.

-I know.

What?

You and me, I know. We need some healing time.

Oh, well, actually, I promised...

I've been planning it all in my head. I cook for you.

I have ordered a whole Cornish turbot.

We're collecting it on the way home along with a kilo of asparagus tips.

-That sounds...

-Wait. So I cook, whilst you enjoy a long, hot soak.

Bubbles, salts. The works.

Dinner in front of a movie of your choice. Black and white.

Subtitles, even. I am making mojitos from scratch.

Fresh mint, to die for.

-I can't. I'm sorry.

-Oh?

I promised Zosia that I would go out with her tonight.

-I see.

-It's to make up for standing her up last night.

I promised.

That's OK, fine. It's not a problem.

We'll do it tomorrow.

So you know all about boats and crab pots.

My family. It's in the DNA.

Well, I don't know anything about that

but I do know about hearts.

If you was another potter, I'd be well and truly done for.

So you said that the crab pot winch runs on hydraulics.

-Mm-hm.

-Do the hydraulic pipes ever get blocked?

-Crap from the pump furs them up.

-What do you do to unblock 'em?

Open the valve, jam a bit of wire up the pipe, dislodge the crap.

Bingo! That's exactly what I do.

Only my problem is, where do I stick the wire

so that I don't cause any harm?

This is my secret weapon.

I thread this down your throat, so I can see scan pictures of your pipes

to see exactly where the gunge is and poke it out.

Nice trick.

You ever lose one of those?

-Oh, happens all too often.

-How do you lose them?

Drop them on snaggy ground. Get caught on rocks or reef.

What if you could see exactly where you were dropping it?

See the snags. See the risks.

-Never lose a pot again.

-That's exactly what this is.

It lets me see all the risks before dropping my pot.

OK. You think you got it sussed.

But bear in mind that I've got three kids at home already and they need

their mum, more than they need a little brother or sister.

Jason, look, I'm... I'm sorry.

I read this book.

-You can't have read all of it.

-Well, no. OK...

Unless you were some kind of super speed-reader.

Well, no... I read the relevant bits.

And you know what it says is the best thing you can do to help

someone who's being bullied?

Tell a teacher.

Yes. Or a friend they can trust.

The most important thing is finding someone who will stand up for them.

Bullies thrive on silence and fear.

Yes, and by getting this book and making me read it

you realise what you did?

I broke the law.

It says clearly on the ticket that books are not transferable.

I could lose my membership.

No, Jason. No, no, that's not what I mean.

What I meant is that you did a really good and brave thing.

-I did?

-Yes, you helped your friend by standing up to the bully.

That's you.

Yes, yes, Jason. That's me.

And that means that you are a hero.

Best friend anyone could ever wish for.

You're my hero, too.

I still want to go and live with Alan.

Of course. Whatever you prefer.

Because you are not the same Auntie Serena you were before.

Ms Campbell!

Dotty's blood pressure's tanked. She's white as a sheet.

Right.

Two of Vicryl...

..and more packs.

More!

We're not making any difference.

-If we stop it, I can patch it.

-You'll never patch that.

-Well, we've got to try.

-It can't be done.

Her blood's coming out faster than we can get it in.

The tear's way too big.

It can't be patched, Serena.

So what do we do?

The kindest thing is just to let her bleed out. Quietly.

What...just...just let her die?

We can't stop it.

We can't save her.

It's over.

LONG BEEP

You see, the thing is, I didn't realise you had three kids at home.

Why didn't you say something?

It didn't seem relevant.

Don't tell me. You've got one, right?

-Yeah.

-Pretty new, too?

Three months. Hector.

Going through that supermum honeymoon period?

I can't deny things are going pretty well.

Good for you.

If you had known about my three others,

would you've suggested a different procedure?

Honestly? No.

I believe I can give you and your baby the best possible odds.

You sure about that?

Positive.

If I was you, and you might leave Hector without his mum?

I'd still do it.

That's good enough.

You absolutely sure?

You seem like a pretty committed kind of mum to me.

Have you seen Serena?

Oh, not for a while, no.

She didn't turn up for her elective.

OK... You worried?

Don't do this.

I just changed my mind. OK, I think it's...

No, you didn't. You let HIM change your mind.

No, I didn't, actually.

The last thing I said to him was that I was going to be seeing you

-this evening.

-So?

-So.

So see me.

I just... I need to clear things up.

Do it tomorrow.

I wouldn't enjoy myself tonight with all this stuff

just rattling around in my head.

-You're scared of him.

-No, I'm not.

Then you're blowing me out because you're worried

-he's going to hold it against you.

-He wouldn't do that.

You really expect me to believe that?

-I just want to put this argument to bed.

-He hit you.

Don't say it like that.

-Well, how else am I going to say it?

-He loves me. And sometimes his...

his love...our love... it just gets really intense.

Dom, listen to yourself.

I want that! I want intensity. I want passion.

-What, and a cracked rib?

-You know what I don't want?

I don't want some wishy-washy,

watered-down, is-it-on-is-it-off beige thing...

-Well, it certainly isn't beige.

-..like you and Ollie.

He loves me and he's not afraid of showing it.

Dom, please.

Bernie. Someone's seen her. On the sixth floor going up the stairs.

-Serena!

-SHE BANGS ON DOOR

Serena, open up!

I'll call security.

Yeah, hello, it's Fletch, I'm in the...

I'm on the roof stairwell. I need someone to come upstairs

and open the door as quick as you can, please. Right, OK.

They're on their way.

Serena!

POP MUSIC BLARES FROM PHONE

Serena!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Oh, my God. You...

You thought I'd come up here to throw myself off?

Yes!

-SERENA CHUCKLES

-Are you OK?

Obviously not.

I am sitting in a deckchair on the roof,

in the middle of my shift, guzzling Shiraz.

Not exactly typical consultant behaviour, is it?

-Do you know what? I think I'm going to leave you to it.

-Yeah, me, too.

Jasmine, stay.

I'm really sorry about what happened with Jac and the Mr Hanssen thing.

Oh, please. You've nothing to apologise for.

In fact, just stop saying sorry.

Ever! You should be loud, proud and ripping it up.

I know I've got loads to learn, and what happened with us, it was

my fault, too, and I just don't want to make the same mistakes again.

Rubbish. Making mistakes is absolutely the only way to learn.

-Isn't that right, Bernie?

-Totally worked for me.

You, come here.

You are young, beautiful and brilliant.

You've got the world... licking your toes. So enjoy it!

Campbell, are you drunk?

I bloody hope so!

That went well.

Hope so.

You don't sound so sure. I was watching, it was textbook.

Have I been a real jerk today?

What, supermum meets wonder-surgeon?

I heard the crab pot demonstration went brilliantly.

I just feel like I'm overcompensating.

Scared of getting forgotten in a blizzard of nappies

and breast pumps?

I just don't want to be one of those over-pushy, over-achieving,

multi-tasking uber-mummies.

But neither do I want to spend an afternoon in

a yogurt-splattered onesie watching Flog It!

You know what? You'll be fine.

You think?

I know.

So you've even got your own pigeon.

He's called Icarus.

Icarus flew too close to the sun.

I know that. The point is he doesn't fly anywhere.

-Well, what would you call him, then?

-I don't know. Eddie?

Why Eddie?

Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards. Cos he was rubbish

and he crashed all the time.

SERENA CHUCKLES

Is this is where you tell me...

..you want to go on a sabbatical?

Go and find yourself?

Something like that.

Right.

There's too many ghosts. Too many echoes.

You know? It's not making me happy.

What's the big plan? What WILL make you happy?

I don't know.

Go and work in a refugee camp?

Move to the south of France, grow your own grapes?

That sounds good.

Any room for me in your future plans?

I hope so.

Hope?

I hope so.

OK.

I can live with that.

You really have to go?

Don't ask me again, please.

Let's not make each other cry.

No, all right. All right.

Different question...

Do you plan to come back?

I hope so.

-WINGS FLAP

-Ah!