Hiding Places Holby City

I am thinking about the future. Our future.

Accept it. I have fallen out of love with you.

I couldn't help noticing - the sickness.

The trips to Obs and Gynae.

That is really none of your business.

I haven't congratulated you yet

because I wasn't sure how many people knew about the baby.

It's like you've given up.

Why are you hiding in here?

I don't know.

I'm not picking a fight.

But I deserve some answers.

Don't I?

Why won't you tell them where you were?

Why won't you tell me?

CAR HORN

Oh! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

-Sorry. Are you all right?

-I'm sorry, it's completely my fault.

-You need to look where you're going!

-Matteo.

No, he's right. Mea culpa, as they say in...

-CLEARS HIS THROAT

-Latin.

Was that really necessary?

He wasn't looking, you nearly got run over.

Next time, just...

I can take care of myself.

And what about the baby?

Nina, wait.

OK. Right, let's go.

Where's Sarah?

That's no way to treat your favourite pig, now, is it?

Now we have to hurry, OK? Cos Mummy's going to be late.

Come here, that's it.

Right, Mummy needs you to be a very, very good girl for her today, OK?

Yeah? OK. Here we go.

Sarah!

-It's all right. I'll get that for you.

-No, leave it.

I'm sorry. I overreacted.

No harm done.

I've been not sleeping well.

Hence the slight but appreciable dip in your personal grooming standards.

I found out Nina's been keeping something from me.

Oh, sorry.

What kind of something?

-Something she really should have told me about herself.

-PHONE RINGS

Sorry, I should probably get this.

Hey...?

How long has he been having them?

Oh, OK.

Do you want me to pop down?

Right, well, I'll be there shortly.

Someone needs a consult?

Just Keller.

Nina?

-As it happens...

-I'll handle it.

Are you sure that's wi...

Thank you, Ollie. You've been a big help.

Any time.

So you put Emma in the creche, then?

My nanny quit at five past seven this morning by text.

Can you believe that?

With Jonny away that must be nightmare.

If you happen to see her, bring her to me, dead or alive.

Any preference? You know, just in terms of dead or alive.

Head on a stick.

Got ya.

Look, they're clearing out some old offices upstairs for new

arrivals, I'm guessing something to do with the merger,

-not that anyone has actually told me anything...

-And?

Well, the...

..the cleaners found a load of these in a drawer.

I threw the others out but...

..that would have just felt a bit weird.

-You asked for a CT consult?

-I asked for Mr Valentine.

You got a free upgrade.

Scott Bartlett, 23. Came in for an elective lipoma removal but clearly

suffering from chest pains he hadn't thought to tell anyone about.

ECG and D-Dimer came back inconclusive.

Scott. My name is Mr Rossini.

Nice to meet you.

Leanne, my wife, she's the one that made me

go to the doctors about the whatchamacallit on my back.

Lipoma.

I wasn't bothered, but Leanne's always worrying about me, bless her.

Pretty much marched me down here.

You didn't tell her you've been having chest pains?

-It never came up.

-Or your GP?

They're not that bad.

As I long as I don't move too much.

How long have you been having them?

Well, on and off for a bit...

A couple of years...maybe.

I suppose they've been worse the last six months, or so.

I can't really take the time off right now.

We're having a baby, you see.

Well, Leanne is and I'm a self-employed plumber.

We need to do some tests, scans of your chest and abdomen.

Has anyone in your family had any heart problems?

No.

So what kind of thing are you looking for?

We'll just have to see what the scans tell us.

Relax for now, OK?

Will do.

Two years of chest pains, doesn't think to tell his wife?

All couples have their secrets.

Let's talk in your office.

So have HR even said what they want to talk to you about?

Damage control. Me being the damage they want to control.

Is your lawyer going to be there?

I'm beginning to suspect that I'm not his top priority.

That's not good.

-No.

-Look, I'm going to get a coffee now, if you want to...

-No, I better get on.

-It's fine. See you later.

Morning.

Hi.

So how's he doing?

Hard to say. He's not happy with his lawyer, so...

Oh...

What are you doing here?

You weren't returning my calls, so...

Sorry.

How are things at home with Mr Griffin?

Must be awkward since the inquest.

Not really.

Even though it's your word against his?

It's fine.

It must play on your mind though, wondering how negligent

he actually was.

I've no-one to talk to, Donna.

No-one listens like you do.

I was going to call you back.

It's OK, I understand.

I just need your help.

And it's not about my mum's records.

I just...want to chat.

OK, but I'm running late, so...

How about lunch?

-We'll sort something.

-OK. I'll call you.

-OK.

So...when were you going to tell me?

I didn't think there was a way back for us.

But the baby changes everything.

We have to be together, raise this child, together.

I don't understand. What is there to even think about?

Everything.

For instance?

I did a terrible thing when I had you investigated.

It was an unforgivable thing.

It doesn't matter.

-Of course it does!

-OK, so I forgive you.

-Really?

-You want it in writing?!

Matteo, this is what I'm talking about.

You're the one that said we were broken, that you don't love me.

What's changed?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

I was just wondering if I could get a second opinion on the epigastric pain, in bay two?

-There's no rush or anything, though.

-Now is good.

OK.

Got it. Standing by.

So I used to use a nanny agency.

It was a bit pricey but good for short term, short notice.

I didn't ask for your help. I don't need your help, can you see where I'm going with this?

-"Thanks but no thanks"?

-PHONE RINGS

Hello...?

Could you...

No, I understand that she's upset.

Can you just tell her that Mummy is very sorry

but she can't come down just now. Thank you.

I see I'm down for the left ventricular aneurysm this afternoon.

-And?

-Well, normally you'd keep that kind of thing for yourself.

What I mean is, thank you for the opportunity which

I accept with gratitude and humility.

OK, we've got Grace Imari, 33.

-32. My bag, it has my laptop...

-Got it.

She collapsed with a cardiac arrest.

Paramedics resuscitated and we put her on ECMO as soon as she came in.

OK, let's keep her on oxygen. We'll have antibiotics and heparin, please.

Sorry, who are you?

Jac Naylor, consultant cardiothoracic surgeon.

Are you the boss?

-Yes.

-Excellent. Carry on.

Let's have some bloods, ECG and a chest CT, please, Rochelle.

-We can manage from here.

-I'm afraid you're stuck with me while Ms Imari is on ECMO.

Well, lucky old us.

We can make this work.

We have to.

You never stop, do you?

To think, to consider, you just...

Work out the best course of action and go for it?

You can't tell me you don't want us to be together.

It's not about what I want, or what you want.

Not any more, Matteo.

Even if we...

It wouldn't work.

So what is it? Your plan?

Nothing is finalised, but I thought I'd move to Amsterdam...

What?

To be with my sister and her children.

No. You can't do this.

This baby needs a family.

I need a family.

I wish it could be with you, but it can't. I'm sorry.

So what you're saying to me is that dogs are better than people?

It's a cliche, but it's true.

Loving, loyal, full of fun...

Who wouldn't want that in their life?

Are you all right there, love?

Mmm-hm.

I did always want a dog growing up, but I wasn't allowed one.

Well, nobody can stop you now you're a grown-up, independent woman!

-Yeah, I know, but...

-Hang on...

How about Henry?

Yeah, cute.

Such a sweet temperament.

I would but it's just with the hours I work and stuff.

Anyway, I don't see any signs of a fracture.

-Told you.

-But I want to make absolutely sure.

-So could we order bloods and a head CT, please?

-OK.

Yeah, I think she's more of a cat person.

Dearie me.

Problem?

Mr Valentine.

A pulmonary thrombectomy with your name on it.

Delightful. Small issue, however, my dance card is full to overflowing.

Sorry.

It's not good news, is it?

The scan.

You have what's called an aortic dissection.

And, yes, I'm afraid it is quite serious.

I'm so stupid.

I don't have any life insurance.

Well, not everybody does.

But I've got responsibilities now, don't I?

Leanne and the baby.

I was meant to sort it out. Idiot! Idiot!

Hey!

Take it easy.

I was warned that I might have a problem.

By your doctor?

My dad.

You said there was no family history.

He's not really family. Never been around.

But he got in touch, a few years ago,

out of the blue, saying something about...

..er...

..art...

Arterio...

Arteriosclerosis?

I think so.

He had it and said I was at risk, or whatever.

-Could that be what's caused this?

-It's possible.

You're very young to be arteriosclerotic.

My mum always said I was nothing like him,

so I told myself I couldn't have it.

I didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know.

And maybe you didn't want to accept his help.

-Yeah.

-Hmm.

Maybe.

So I need an operation?

You do.

As soon as possible.

Hey.

This is serious, but it is treatable.

Do you understand?

It's called the Tommy Travis Rescue Centre.

Named after my late husband...

Tommy. "Finding forever homes for lost canine souls",

that's our motto, or mission statement, call it what you like.

I'm just going to take your temperature.

Oh, this is Belle. So pretty.

Pretty something.

Sorry.

I know who'd be more your type.

Tinka.

Now she is pretty.

And clever, but see, it's like she knows it.

Prefect complex I call it.

You fell getting off the bus, you say?

I did, lost my footing, I suppose,

-then...splat.

-Has it happened before?

-Never.

-Have you been unwell recently, any dizzy spells, or anything?

No, I've been right as rain.

Temperature's 38.2.

You know what, I should be getting back.

No, we need to do your scans first.

-Oooft!

-Are you all right?

-I need to...

..toilet.

Kat, could you just grab the wheelchair for me?

Thank you so much. We'll be quicker on wheels. Come on.

Thank you. Are you all right?

I can't hold it much longer.

Lovely...

Thank you, Kat.

Mate, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Autosomal dominant.

From his father.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Yes?

Hi, sorry, it's me again.

I just wanted to make that sure you really want me

checking predischarge medication reviews?

Yes, why wouldn't I?

Well, I just thought that...

Because you won the award you're on some kind of...

tedium-free career fast-track?

No, not exactly.

If you want to move forward, and I'm sure that you do,

you have to prove yourself, day after day, believe me.

Is this to do with the merger?

I'm sorry?

Well, are there going to be redundancies?

Am I going to have to re-apply for my job?

I appreciate that the merger has caused some...uncertainty.

Uncertainty, insecurity, anxiety.

-Paranoia?

-I have no information

that I am permitted to share with you at this time.

So you can't rule out redundancies?

It means that I have no information that I am permitted to share.

So you're not ruling it out.

Is that why Fredrik left in such a hurry?

Right. Thank you.

You know, you were right.

I was getting carried away, rushing ahead.

But maybe you were too.

I have tried to give this a lot of thought.

You're worried we can't function as a couple.

Well, that's one part of it.

So maybe we could find another way to raise this child, here.

Separate, but working together.

Like...co-parenting?

Please, Nina.

I don't want to start talking about this in terms of my rights,

but I am this child's father and I want to be involved.

Have you talked to Scott about this operation?

I thought we should do it together.

Good. Then let's get on with it then.

My heart stopped beating, completely?

-Correct.

-You're lucky to be alive.

And this happened because I have a clot?

Because the clot is close to your pulmonary artery.

Which takes blood to the lungs?

That's right.

So how am I still alive?

Paramedics on motorbikes and...

This ECMO machine. Extracorporeal membrane oxygenation.

-It basically gives your heart and lungs a wee rest.

-I see.

So we need to get rid of this clot.

Options?

Surgery, to remove it. A pulmonary thrombectomy.

Timescale?

As soon as possible.

Option two?

If this machine is resting my heart and lungs,

then surely I can just stay on it a bit longer.

I think what Ms Naylor is concerned about...

Perhaps we could keep you on ECMO.

If we continue to with the anticoagulants,

blood thinners, and wait for the clot to dissolve.

And I'd still be conscious?

Yes.

Then that's the option I choose.

Thanks very much.

If that clot moves before it starts to reduce...

She made an informed choice.

Yes, but if you explained to her that she...

Your job here today is to babysit a machine.

Beyond that, seen and not heard.

Jac Naylor, not pushing the surgical option?

It's not like her at all.

The aorta is the biggest blood vessel in your body.

It's what takes the blood from your heart to where it needs to go.

The weakness here, it could cause the aortic wall to split

and the worry is it could rupture.

Right.

Sorry, it's just...

It's OK, I understand.

If I'd listened to my dad.

If I'd had it checked sooner...

Let's not worry about that just now.

And what about the baby?

It could be passed on.

Unlikely, but still possible.

But simply knowing it could be an issue means that it could be closely monitored.

And he won't end up like me?

Well, that's something, at least.

So you're having a boy?

Yeah.

How could I be so stupid?

How could I do this to Leanne?

-Idiot! Idiot!

-Hey, hey, hey.

So you made a bad decision and if you hadn't come in today, you could have died.

But you're here now.

Call it luck, or fate, or whatever you want,

but you have another chance.

You need to give yourself a break.

Looking forwards, not backwards.

You're in very good hands, Scott.

I'll be operating on the aorta itself,

putting what's called a graft on the weak part to strengthen it.

It's like a piece of flexible tubing.

Meanwhile, I'll be joining it in the abdomen.

I don't want Leanne to know, for now,

I don't want her worrying with the baby and everything.

-Is that all right?

-If that's what you want, that's fine.

You two make a good team, you know that?

I quite agree.

We have our moments.

Looks like Matteo's out for the rest of the day

so somebody needs to take care of his bronchoscopy.

Any chance that somebody might be...

-No.

-No, it's just that, looking at who's doing what

it doesn't seem like you're down for...

-Are you suggesting I'm not pulling my weight?

-Of course not.

I have meetings to attend, presentations to prepare,

and still I have to find time for needy registrars

-wittering on about their workload!

-I wasn't wittering.

I'm sure they'd take you back downstairs if you can't hack up here.

Thank you.

She's on fine form today.

She's got a lot on her plate.

A large helping of anger with a side order of completely unreasonable.

-I'm going in.

-Yeah, right.

What's the worst that can happen?

Aggravated assault? GBH? Torture?

What do you want?

I was just remembering Evie when she was Emma's age,

whenever I had to leave her somewhere she didn't want to be,

she was a nightmare to begin with.

She wouldn't play, she wouldn't even talk.

Seeing your kid upset

and having to walk away from them.

It's the worst feeling in the world.

I've been there.

So if you ever want to...

I don't know, sound off, whinge, howl at the moon,

drown your sorrows then...

You couldn't throw it away, either?

I have a lot to get through here, so if you don't mind...

OK.

I'll leave you to it.

I was thinking,

maybe we could buy two flats close together.

Oh, Matteo...

And work something out here, coordinate our schedules

so we don't need so much childcare.

It's not the practicalities I'm worried about.

Then what?

You heard what Scott said, we make a good team.

He only just met us.

OK, so we just need to be organised

and establish clear boundaries.

-I suppose...

-Yes?

You do have a right to be involved.

Maybe...

Maybe it's not such a crazy idea, co-parenting.

It's a great idea.

I only said I'll think about it.

That's good enough for me.

That's two emergency toilet trips now.

Has this been going on a while?

No, just since this morning - last night.

I had leftover prawn biryani for my dinner.

Maybe not the best idea.

This is one of our new arrivals, I can't think of a good name for him.

Smart as a whip, but hard to read - mysterious.

Sounds like Mr Hanssen.

Mr Hanssen, I like it.

-That's what I'm going to call him.

-Really?

What about this one?

Very determined, bossy, not the friendliest.

Jac?

I'm not sure...

OK, the good news is your head CT shows no sign of a fracture.

I'll just fix you up with some steri-strips.

-And then I can go?

-However, your white cell count

is quite high, as is your temperature.

It does indicate an infection.

Do you mind if I took a feel of your neck?

Be my guest.

Yeah, your lymph nodes are quite swollen.

Like I said, I feel...

-Right as rain?

-Exactly.

Let's get you on antibiotics, see how you get on with them.

Let's get 1.2 grams co-amoxiclav IV please.

If you just keep nice and still while I fix you up.

So this charity, rescue centre of yours, do you run it from home?

Wouldn't have it any other way.

How many staff have you got?

Oh, half a dozen or so.

You know, a friend of mine might be looking for a dog,

what's the website?

It's, um... It's not actually working at the moment.

Right.

PHONE RINGS

I'm going to have to get this.

Sorry.

Such a pity.

Tape, please.

Francesca.

Who?

Just a name I've always liked.

Intestinal and iliac arteries both taped.

Roberta is good.

And Simona, or Isabella.

30ml graft.

I need a clamp.

Anything wrong??

The dissection...

..it's extensive, almost down to the iliac artery.

Salvageable?

Hard to say. I'll stitch it along with the graft.

Hi.

Thanks for coming. I appreciate it.

Of course.

So, how long have you actually known Ric Griffin?

Oh, er...

Must be about 13 years now.

Is this what you wanted to talk about?

I'm just interested.

Is he married?

Not at the moment.

Divorced? Kids?

What is this?

-Well, we're just talking.

-You're writing it down.

He still won't explain where he was for three hours.

It must have been something bad, right?

Why are you asking me about his personal life?

Well, we need to show him for what he really is.

You know, I keep thinking if somehow he gets away with this,

what about the next patient that dies cos of his negligence?

He is a good doctor. He's the best.

If it wasn't for him, I'd still be able to pick up the phone

and speak to her.

To pop round and visit her, to help in her garden.

-So you want me to...?

-I know you're close to him,

but you mustn't let that cloud your judgment,

to stop you doing what's right.

Donna, I need your help.

Donna!

-I need to get back.

-But...

HE SIGHS

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING

Almost there.

A bleed. Suction, quickly!

-I can't find it.

-BP's dropping.

-I can't find it!

Come on, how can I see if you can't perform a simple task?

Turn the music off.

There it is. On the suture line.

Can you reinforce the stitch?

Buttress suture, now.

Come on.

Got it.

OK. Let's get these arteries onto the grafts.

Thank you.

Any danger of seeing the latest infection control report by...?

The end of the sentence?

Gold star.

BEEPING

-Grace?

-What happened?

-You lost output.

-Meaning?

Meaning surgery.

Sorry.

Given your worsening condition, we do need to operate.

Here's the thing -

I do want the operation, now's just not a good time.

Why not?

Commitments.

Ms Imari, if the clot moves into the other branches of your arteries,

it would be significantly more difficult and dangerous to remove.

I don't mean to be difficult, Ms Naylor, really,

but you do need my consent for an operation, correct?

If you don't have this operation, you could have a stroke or die.

But you do need my consent?

Yes.

So there's no need for any unpleasant argument,

because I'm not going to give it.

Yet.

-Fine.

-Thank you.

Hi.

All done?

Well, that is the question.

No, I've still got some more meetings upstairs.

In fact...I'd better get a move on.

There you are!

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you too, Sacha.

-I've got to get back upstairs.

-OK, I'll be quick.

Donna mentioned to me that you're not very happy with your lawyer.

-So I've made some calls and I've found a better one.

-Really?

Yeah, he's a guy called Liam Drinkwater.

He's like the Rolls-Royce of defence barristers

when it comes to medical negligence.

Now, I've had a conversation with him

and he has agreed to cap his fee at a not unreasonable level.

I see.

Well, obviously it's your call,

but if you want I can give you his details,

you can have a chat and see how you feel.

Thank you, Sacha. You...

You didn't have to do that.

I wanted to.

I mean, we all want to help, in whatever way we can, don't we?

Yeah, totally.

I appreciate it.

I really do.

Does it bother you that we still don't really know what happened,

that he won't tell us?

He's my friend

and he's my colleague.

I think that's all that matters, isn't it?

Erm... Have you got a second?

Just say what you have to say so we can all get on with our lives.

OK, er... So, everyone has difficult days.

You know, days when maybe your confidence

isn't what it usually is...

You're having a difficult day?

No. What I'm trying to say is...

..we all have days where we find ourselves...

Yes?

Backing off.

-Backing off?

-Yeah, look, it's just...with Grace... I don't know,

just a bit surprised that you didn't push for surgery a bit harder.

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to imply here,

but I am absolutely certain you have no idea what you're talking about.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Mm.

Good chat.

Hi.

I'm still here then?

The aortic repair was a success.

-Result.

-A good result.

The dissection turned out to be more extensive

than it appeared in the scan, but if we keep a close eye on it

and work hard to control your blood pressure,

I'm feeling very positive and so should you.

Leanne?

-We'll let her know.

-Thank you...so much.

Our pleasure.

It's time to rest now.

We'll check in on you later.

Another chance...

Another chance.

Excuse me.

It's today.

My scan, the ultrasound.

Right.

Do you want to be there?

Yes, of course, absolutely.

Ms Naylor.

The risk of delaying this operation is unacceptable.

To you, not to me.

Two years ago, I was in a car accident.

Nothing too serious, but I was out of action for a few hours.

During that time, one of my clients needed me,

I wasn't available and it didn't end well.

Clients?

I'm a solicitor and today's a big day.

Surely someone else can step in for you?

Is that what you do when things get difficult?

You fob things off on your colleagues?

At this stage, it wouldn't be fair to ask someone else,

least of all on my client.

I know the risks I'm taking,

and as soon as this case is out of the way, I'm all yours.

OK, so I'm going to assume you're really very good at your job.

I get good results.

Well, those good results are going to come to an abrupt end

if you suddenly die.

Delegate. It's not just your client today,

it's every other client you might not be around for in the future.

And would you do the operation yourself?

-That depends whether...

-I want you, not one of your colleagues.

Get me in and out as quickly as you can.

You, young lady, don't know what you want for dinner tonight.

Er... You don't know where you left your phone?

OK, it's that you've heard the rumours about the redundancies

and you're a bit worried about it?

It's good job you're a better doctor than you are a mind-reader, mate.

That's all I'm saying.

Or I'd be struck off?

Yeah.

Ah. I'm so sorry.

Do you mind if I have a look at that?

It's nothing.

Belinda, it is obviously bothering you. Please.

Hmm... That looks like ringworm to me.

Can't be. I worm my dogs regularly.

Ringworm isn't actually caused by a worm. It's a fungal infection.

But you can catch it from contact with animals.

When you live with dogs, you can't keep them at arm's length.

They need love, lots of it.

Mm-hm. Well, you'll have to let your staff know.

Ringworm can spread.

You don't have any staff, do you?

Belinda, how many dogs are living in your house?

Ten.

15 last count.

You must be tripping over them.

Is that how you fell?

It's cosy, at home, but we're right next to fields.

I don't want you thinking I'm one of those animal hoarders.

Every one of my dogs has a good life.

You should see my vet bills.

What about your life?

I manage...

..mostly.

Mr Rossini?

You're supposed to be resting.

Can I ask you something?

-Of course.

-Do you have any kids?

Yes.

Is it as bad as they say, childbirth?

Like, watching it all happen?

-You're scared.

-A bit.

Actually, a lot.

But coming so close to missing out on everything,

getting another chance...

I want to do it right, you know?

The whole thing.

Really be there from the start.

Good for you.

But it is scary, isn't it?

The actual...

You know...

Every birth is different,

but you need to put all the bad images out of your mind

and only focus on the good ones.

Like?

Like when it's all over.

The three of you together.

Taking your baby home for the first time, showing them around.

I hope he likes our flat.

I'm sure he will.

You're at the start of a great adventure.

It won't always be easy,

but it will always be worth it.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Just a second.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

-Then why are you...?

-I was trying to be sensible.

I was. But Nina...

..I love you.

I just wanted you to know.

But everything we...talked about.

How you'd said you'd handle it.

I know. I'm sorry, but I can't pretend.

I want to do this properly...

..together.

-Matteo...

-I don't believe in signs, Nina.

Or that anything is ever "meant to be."

But I believe in us, with all my heart.

I never stopped loving you.

-RAPID BEEPING

-Scott.

OK, preparing to open the pulmonary artery.

Jac, I've got the creche on the phone.

-Do you want me to put them through?

-Is she hurt?

No, just very upset, they said. "Needs her mum."

Then I'll call them back.

OK.

There's still too much blood here. I can't see what I'm doing.

Suction, please.

What's her platelet count?

It is low, it's almost 80.

We've got one bag here and two on the way, yeah?

Increasing flow to 2.5 litres.

I can see a large clot.

Forceps, please.

It's in one piece.

The artery looks... Looks good.

5/0 prolene, please.

You could get somebody else to close if you needed to go and see Emma.

That'd... That'd be good, yeah.

-Temperature?

-18 degrees.

Keep the ice around the head. We need to keep him cold.

Suction.

The dissection has extended.

How far?

To the head vessels.

Hang on, I can see the entry point.

I might be able to stitch the graft.

This isn't over.

Emma... Emma, please, please, just stop this.

Sorry, bad timing. Hello!

I need your advice on my left atrial aneurysm.

Why don't I watch her for a bit?

If that's all right with you, little legs?

It's fine, honestly.

OK, I won't be long.

Come here. Hello!

Cos think I know where the jammy doctors

hide the Jammie Dodgers.

Stand by to take him off bypass.

Now.

-MACHINES BEEP

-He's arresting.

-Paddles.

Charge to 20.

Stand clear.

Shocking.

Charge to 30.

Stand clear.

Shocking.

Charge to 40.

Stand clear.

Shocking.

Cerebral oximetry is very low.

-Put him back on bypass.

-Are the pupils dilated?

We try again.

-Matteo, his brain hasn't perfused.

-We try again!

He's gone.

It's time to call it.

Matteo...

-Again, again!

-All right. One more time and then that's it, OK?

# I'm a little spider

# Minding my own business

# I just hope I don't get squished! #

-Argh!

-THEY GIGGLE

I have to say, I can see the appeal.

Well, we were just thinking about heading back to the creche.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Emma wants to give it another try if that's all right with you?

Yeah, it's fine.

Erm, listen,

-what you saw, in theatre...

-Was a successful operation.

Come on, you, spider-squasher!

Up you get.

Say bye-bye to Mummy.

Bye-bye, Mummy.

-Bye, baby.

-Bye-bye!

It wasn't your fault.

-He was such a lovely man.

-There was nothing we could do.

If he'd come to us sooner, different story.

His wife is still in shock, as you'd expect,

but she wants to know more about his condition

so I said you'd speak to her.

Fine.

Matteo...

..you're allowed to be upset.

Talk to me.

You want us to raise a child together,

and I just know there is so much inside you,

so much pain that you've never dealt with.

But this child, don't you see?

Is our chance to leave all that behind.

To start again, from the beginning.

A clean slate.

-What?

-A clean slate?

You think you can just wipe it all away? Wipe Nico away?

-Nina...

-What was I thinking?

Wait!

-BELINDA:

-We couldn't have children, you see, me and Tommy.

So when he passed away...

..our dogs were such a comfort.

They're good listeners, dogs.

They never interrupt, never judge.

Some shelters, if there's a dog nobody wants,

eventually they just put it down.

I take them in before that happens.

And I really do try to find homes for them, but...

You end up keeping them.

It's easy when they're young and appealing, to re-home them.

But the older ones,

the ones with issues...

I'm all they've got.

I know. But living like this, it's making you sick.

There are proper sanctuaries and rescue centres out there,

loads of them.

I know.

They'll help you, and your dogs. If you let them.

OK, I'm going to go and see about getting you discharged.

Thanks, love.

You're leaving?

Yeah.

You know...

I knew you weren't ready to be a parent again,

to be a husband again...

But I just so wanted to believe.

Please, Nina, just hear me out.

I can't wipe the slate clean...Matteo.

I can't do that to our son.

-It was a poor choice of words.

-It was horrific.

You really connected with Scott.

But when he died, you just...

..shut down. I had to stand there and watch you do that.

Did you talk to his wife?

What were you afraid of?

I loved you so much, Matteo.

I loved the man you used to be.

But he's never coming back.

And this child needs a family...

..not a coward.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hello.

Getting Emma to go back to the creche was...

No big deal.

It was to me.

Well, like I said, I'm happy to help.

I can't remember the last time I made her laugh the way you did.

I can always teach you the spider song.

Anyway, listen...

Everything that you've been through in the last few months...

..with Jasmine, with Guy...

..you've just carried on because that's just what you do.

But sometimes...

Sometimes you have to just step off.

Regroup.

Have you thought about taking any time off?

Well, maybe you should.

So, I was thinking... Oh, sorry.

-I can come back if...

-No, I was just leaving.

Are you OK?

I heard you lost a patient, I'm sorry.

Nina's pregnant.

Oh, I see.

She's moving to Amsterdam.

It's my fault.

-Well, I'm sure it's not as simple as that...

-It is. Believe me.

Can I, erm...?

If I've learned anything at all...

..about loss, it's...

..this - you can't run away from it. You can't ignore it.

You just have to look it dead in the eye and let it do its worst.

I'm not sure I can.

Well... It might take a while.

But you'll find your feet again.

Ms Naylor?

I missed a call, during the surgery.

My colleague had to deal with it.

And?

She did a very good job.

Well, I'm very glad to hear that.

I just spoke with my client. He's an asylum seeker.

He can stay with his family now.

32 is very young to have a clot like you had.

There's every chance it developed

because you've been pushing yourself to hard.

I was 12 when I came to this country as a refugee.

If it wasn't for people giving up their time to help me,

I never would have been able to stay.

This isn't just a job for me, I have a duty to do this.

You have a duty to keep yourself alive.

Learn to delegate.

OK.

And really, thank you.

-You!

-Oh!

Just can't keep away from me, can you?

-Hi.

-I was just passing and...

Come here. In here.

So, I think I might be wrong,

but I think there might be a new romance developing on Darwin.

-Between who?

-Oh, I'm not telling you that.

Why not?

Oh, just to annoy you.

-Tell me!

-No!

Ow!

Don't mind me.

Ahem... Erm... Raf thinks he's spotted a new romance

developing up here, but he won't tell me who's involved,

and I just don't think that's acceptable.

Oh, I don't know. I think there's a lot to be said for discretion.

Er, we were just, erm...

Bye.

SHE SOBS

Are you OK?

-TEARFULLY:

-I'm sorry...

-I'm so sorry, Nina.

-HE SOBS

Oh, Matteo.

I'm sorry.

So, I hear Tenerife's nice this time of year.

-What?

-Tenerife. For a bit of winter sun.

You know, if you're thinking about taking a break,

like we spoke about earlier.

Are you all right?

Sorry.

-I don't need a break. I'm fine.

-But what happened today....

I don't know what you're talking about.

-But you said...

-I don't know what you're talking about.

All right.

I'm sorry.

You know, for someone with such a demanding job

you seem to have an awful a lot of time

for sticking your nose into other people's business.

I don't blame you for having me investigated.

Now I understand why you didn't trust me.

I was running away.

From you.

From everything.

When we lost Nico...

..I felt like I lost you as well.

I'm so sorry, Nina.

When you needed me the most, I failed you.

And I'll never forgive myself for that, never.

But I don't want to run away any more.

I want to feel...

..everything.

It wasn't us that was broken.

It was me.

This boy.

Our boy.

He's right here.

There is no wiping the slate clean.

He's part of me.

Part of us.

And I never want that to change.

Hi.

So, you're going to help?

Well, I hope so.

Erm... So, where do we begin?

Not like that.

I could never do that to Ric. I'm sorry.

I don't understand.

Jeremy, you're grieving.

-You think I don't know that?

-No.

I just think, maybe that's what you should focus on right now,

instead of Ric.

Here's a bereavement counsellor.

Comes highly recommended.

OK, erm...

My mum's dead and no amount of counselling

is going to bring her back.

Making sure the man responsible for her death is held accountable

is all I have.

Do you not understand that?

I just think sometimes grief can be very powerful

and it can make people do things that aren't...

..helpful or healthy.

And you don't even know that it's Ric's fault.

Of course I do! How can you be so naive?

-OK, I'm going to go.

-Look, Donna, listen to me.

-Please let go. You're hurting me.

-Please.

I need you by my side, do you not understand?

-Jeremy, let go of me!

-You said you would help.

-Donna!

-Let her go, right now.

Right now!

See when this is all over,

you're going to see Ric Griffin for what he really is.

A fraud. A killer.

You don't have the first clue about Ric

or what it takes to do this job. You have no idea.

-Jac...

-The sacrifices that we make, the pressure, day after day

and what that does to you.

And yet we still carry on.

We still come back to help people just like you.

Do you want sympathy?

No, I want you out of here.

-HE SCOFFS

-Jac!

Don't.

This woman threatened me.

Get him out of the hospital.

Big mistake.

Beautiful.

What's that for?

No reason.

-Are you heading home?

-Finally.

-You mind if I walk you to your car?

-If you like.

So, how did it go?

Look, don't ask.

I don't want to have to relive it just yet.

Well, we'll have find something else to talk about then.

Dogs or cats?

As a topic for a conversation or...?

Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

Dogs all the way.

For their loyalty.

Exactly.

So Ollie doesn't mind covering for you?

He's what you call...

..a good friend.

And how is your Dutch these days?

Roestig.

Rusty?

It'll all come back when we get there.

Let me see it again.

New life, new hope.

-You're sure about this?

-About this?

About everything.