Browse content similar to Episode 4. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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You! Another beer. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:14 | |
This one taste like monkey sweat. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
Please! | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
What?! You lecture ME in manners? | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
You, dressed like prostitute! | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
Eh! It's six o'clock in the morning. I want my breakfast. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
Can we just get on with the game, please? | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Come on, then, little boy, make your bloody move. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:34 | |
Yeah, all right. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
I'll call you five grand. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:45 | |
Let's see what you got. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
Hang on a minute. I've been looking at you all night. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
I'm flattered. You're not really my type, love. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
Trying to work out why I knew your face, and it's just come to me. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
Oh, yeah? | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
I think you're Kennedy. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
The card counter. I think you're Sean Kennedy. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
Security! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:28 | |
ALARM | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Argh! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
Kensington. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Stop! | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
When WILL you be free? I need to cash these chips. I can't exactly go back in the casino. | 0:01:56 | 0:02:00 | |
Well, well, well, what have we here! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
I'll call you back. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
Five bloody grand you took off me. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:07 | |
I want my money, you cheating pig, or I call the police! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
Look, OK, OK, OK. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Look, mate, that's only fair, all right? | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
Five grand, yeah? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
There you go. Sorry about that. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
You want to cash the chips? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
I'll do it. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
-I'll give you cash for them, right now. -How much? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
How much you got in there? | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
About 40K's worth. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
I'll give you ten. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:37 | |
LAUGHS You're having a laugh, mate! | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
-15. -No chance... | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
20, final offer. 20 grand cash, right now. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:45 | |
You make a bit, I make a bit. What's not to like? | 0:02:45 | 0:02:49 | |
What's not to like? | 0:02:49 | 0:02:50 | |
I'd like to cash these, please. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
-Is this a joke? -What? | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
I'm not cashing these. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
What do you mean you're not cashing them? Why? | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
Well why d'you think? They're fake. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
Obviously they're fake. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
I think you're Kennedy. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
The card counter. I think you're Sean Kennedy. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:14 | |
Security! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:15 | |
Kensington. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
20 grand cash, right now. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
You make a bit, I make a bit. What's not to like? | 0:03:33 | 0:03:37 | |
What's not to like? | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
Argh! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
Listen, cheers, Caz. You played an absolute blinder as usual. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:52 | |
-Thanks, babe. Really sweet of you, that. -Sure we can't give you a lift anywhere? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
No thanks, Ash. Not feeling too clever, to be honest. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
I could do with a bit of a walk and some fresh... | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
-Whoa... -Ooh! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
Ambulance. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:07 | |
You're going to be fine, love. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
-Tough as old boots, you are. -Less of the "old". | 0:04:55 | 0:04:58 | |
-Yeah, well, you know what I mean. -I don't want to die, Ash. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
Hey, hey, hey, hey! No-one's doing any dying. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
Besides, there's a queue. And Albert's first. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
Charming! | 0:05:08 | 0:05:09 | |
You're going to be fine, yeah? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
I'll come back with a bunch of grapes. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
-Are you next of kin? -Well, as good as. There's no-one else. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
Your friend's had a very serious heart attack and she'll be in for quite a while. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:24 | |
Now, she's going to need some stuff from home. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
-Is there any way you'll be able to sort that out? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, consider it done. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
Heart attack? | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
All right, thanks for letting me know, Sandra. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
Yeah, I know it couldn't have been an easy call. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:41 | |
Right, thanks again. Bye-bye. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
Poor old girl. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:47 | |
I'll have a whiskey, Eddie, large one. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:52 | |
I know how you feel, mate. I might join you there. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Very upsetting news. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
-You already heard? -Yeah, Ash phoned me. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Well, I suppose it wasn't a surprise to anyone. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
She just went down like a sack of potatoes. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
It's awful. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
In the end, they had no option but to put her down. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
They shot Carol? | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
No! El Matador, at 10.30 at Chepstow. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
I'm talking about Carol. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:21 | |
Oh! Carol is recovering in the hospital. And unless the NHS is in more trouble than I thought, | 0:06:21 | 0:06:26 | |
I don't believe they're planning on murdering her. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
Right. Good, cos... | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
yeah, she's er... She's a... She's a lovely lady, Carol. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
Remember the Downing Street switch? | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
-What, THAT was Carol? -Uh-huh. Yeah. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
-And the London Eye float. -Yeah? | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
The bearer bond scam of 2000. All hers. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
She even... She even took Mad Frankie Fraser for ten quid when she was five years old. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:49 | |
(No!) | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
Yeah, in her day... | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
Carol was one of the best. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
So there's no fella on the scene, then? | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
Not if this is anything to go by. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
-Whoa! Now that is what I call comfort food. -No wonder she's not well. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:05 | |
What the hell... | 0:07:11 | 0:07:12 | |
"Eat Yourself Slender"? Now, this I've got to see. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
'Hey, I'm Dr Dean Deville, | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
'and I'm here today to tell you about the EYS plan - | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
'the diet plan that has taken the slimming world by storm. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
'Eat Yourself Slender is the diet plan that allows you | 0:07:30 | 0:07:34 | |
'to live the lifestyle you deserve | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
'while simultaneously helping you to lose weight. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:39 | |
'How's that possible? | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
'Simple! By understanding how metabolism really works. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
'For the last five years, I have worked with a team of top nutritionists across the globe, | 0:07:44 | 0:07:49 | |
'and what I've learned has turned the science of weight loss on its head. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:55 | |
'Now it's time to share that with you in the UK. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
'There are four types of fat. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
'Good fat, bad fat, thin fat and fat fat. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
'The Eat Yourself Slender plan allows you to eat all the good thin fat you like, | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
'whilst at the same time reducing your bad fat fat. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:09 | |
'This is Ray. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
'Look at him before. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
'And look at him now! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
'He has lost 22 stone by eating what he wants to eat | 0:08:14 | 0:08:18 | |
'on the Eat Yourself Slender plan. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
'Gail used to be repulsive | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
'but six months on the Eat Yourself Slender plan... | 0:08:22 | 0:08:26 | |
'and Gail's got the figure she always wanted. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
'So, don't delay. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:30 | |
'For only £99.99 a month, you too can be part | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
'of the Eat Yourself Slender plan. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
'Be the person you always wanted to be. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
'The Eat Yourself Slender plan. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
'Because the rest of your life starts today.' | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
Carol had been on the diet for six months. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
She was nine and a half stone when she started, | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
-13 when admitted to hospital this morning. -And if you read these, you can see why. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
It is a recipe for heart disease, high blood pressure, raised cholesterol. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
It'd be funny if it wasn't so dangerous. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Meanwhile, Dr Dean Deville and his wife and business partner Dana | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
have gained quite a few pounds over the last few years. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Yeah, over ten million of them, according to Companies House. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
Please tell me we think they can afford to shed a few. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
They sold Carol a diet plan that nearly killed her. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
I think we should take them for everything we can. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
-Yeah, definitely. -Oh, yes. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
OK. Good. So, who are they? | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
Albert - history. Where did they come from and why did they leave America? | 0:09:24 | 0:09:28 | |
-Emma, check out their business interests and anything else they may be involved in. -Mm-hm. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
Sean, check out the science. Their labs and qualifications. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
I'll do hobbies and personal interests. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
Ash, the legal implications. How the hell do they manage to keep selling a product | 0:09:38 | 0:09:42 | |
that is clearly so dangerous. Right? Let's do this. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
'I'm Dr Dean Deville... Dr Dean Deville... | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
'I'm Dr Dean Deville, and I'm here today to tell you about the EYS plan.' | 0:09:47 | 0:09:51 | |
Dean and Dana Deville. Oh, these guys are pros. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
They've been doing what they've been doing in one form or another over the years. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:58 | |
They always manage to stay just one step ahead of the law. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
'With Pro-Butrimol-F and active vita-beta-retinal 5 action, | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
'this is probably the best vitamin in the world ever, ever.' | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
In 2005, they moved onto the internet | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
and became the king and queen of the infomercial. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
'Just £9.99 is all it'll cost to end the pain of arthritis forever, forever. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:19 | |
'And say goodbye to swine flu misery with Pig-U-Go.' | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
There's no evidence to suggest any products they sell | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
have had scientific testing. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
And as far as qualifications are concerned, well, | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
they're from a mail order place in Tupelo. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
Dr Pepper is more qualified than these two. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
They circumvent any legal issues arising from this by selling them | 0:10:49 | 0:10:53 | |
as health supplements and like Albert said, always just getting away with it. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
Last year, they made profits of over £2 million | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
getting away with it. Most of it's invested in art purchases | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
which they store in safety deposits, | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
to sell for profit at a later date. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
It looks like they have an interest in art, | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
but it's done purely for financial gain. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
So I think it's pretty clear that the accumulation of money | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
is their main hobby, but what's their weakness? | 0:11:17 | 0:11:22 | |
-Arrogance. They think they're untouchable. -Yes. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
But the UK's much more strictly regulated than the States - | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
it must be getting harder for them to stay ahead of the authorities. So, if you were them, | 0:11:27 | 0:11:34 | |
wouldn't you be looking for a way out now? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
A way to find the big one, the ultimate, that one last | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
legitimate product that would allow you to retire? | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
-So that's what we offer them? -Yes. And we use their arrogance, | 0:11:43 | 0:11:47 | |
this feeling they can do anything, to blind them to what we're doing. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:51 | |
So what's the actual con? | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
We are going to sell them | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
-a genuine wonder product that will make them billions. -Which is? | 0:11:55 | 0:12:00 | |
-MOCK AMERICAN ACCENT: -The best diet drug in the world ever! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
All right, so what's the convincer? | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
Yes, these people are scammers themselves. And pretty good ones. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:11 | |
They'll spot an ordinary convincer a mile off. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
So in order to outsmart them, we'll have to be very clever. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:18 | |
Who's heard of the Montagne scam? | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
The guy that stole the Venus de Milo. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
Yeah, and more importantly, sold it again. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
So, our convincer, we are going to sell the Devilles this. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:30 | |
The Lucien egg, one of a pair of Faberge eggs, | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
and this one is currently residing at the Tenguiz Gallery. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:36 | |
-Who owns the other one? -The Devilles do. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
The eggs together are worth much more than the sum of their parts, | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
so unsurprisingly, the Devilles have made repeated attempts | 0:12:43 | 0:12:47 | |
to buy the Lucien egg, but Josh Tenguiz simply isn't interested. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:52 | |
They also tried to sell him their egg at a grossly inflated amount | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
-but still, no deal. -So? | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
A few years ago, the Devilles were interviewed by police in connection to the purchase | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
and profitable sale of some stolen artwork. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
They claimed they did it in good faith and there were no charges. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:08 | |
I think the jury's still out on that one but I think it's safe | 0:13:08 | 0:13:11 | |
to say these people would stop at nothing to snaffle up a bargain. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:15 | |
So Emma, Sean, I want you to check out security at the Tenguiz Gallery. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:19 | |
Ash, we'll go and see an old friend of mine. Albert, Dali Macmanus. | 0:13:19 | 0:13:23 | |
Wherever he is, whoever he is these days, I need you to find him. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
And one last thing... We can't rush this. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:31 | |
To draw these people in successfully, we need time, | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
so be patient and remember that revenge is a dish best served cold. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:39 | |
Freddy the Face, long time no see. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
Hello? No, I can't talk right now. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
No, I'm going into the gallery. No, I should be quick. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:54 | |
OK, hold on... | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
Cheers, darling. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
-Well, I'm done, you ready? -Yeah, let's do it. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Oh, my goodness. Excuse me, somebody! This is something bad here! | 0:14:46 | 0:14:50 | |
There's something bad here in this bag. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
Evacuate the gallery as quickly as possible! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
Come on! | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
ALARM RINGS | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-If we're thinking of trying to steal this egg, we're in trouble. -Why? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
Every exhibit in this gallery is coated with an invisible chemical | 0:15:39 | 0:15:44 | |
which reacts to an infra red light if taken through any | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
of the 56 internal doors and sets off the alarms. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
-Basically, we're buggered. -We're buggered. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
Excellent. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:55 | |
DOOR BUZZER GOES | 0:15:55 | 0:15:56 | |
That'll be the pizza. Could you get that please, Sean? | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll get it. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Just push the door mate. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:05 | |
Oh, my gawd, I'm gonna have a bleedin' 'eart attack! | 0:16:10 | 0:16:14 | |
What's the matter, lift broken? | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
Nah, it's not the lifts mate, no, I'm just a fat git. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
Glutton dressed as glam. What d'you think? | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
So over the whole time we set up the convincer, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
me and Mickey will be in weekly contact with the Devilles. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
But each time we meet, Freddy the Face will have fitted me with a smaller fat suit. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
So by the time the convincer's over, I'll appear to have lost six stone | 0:16:43 | 0:16:47 | |
in as many weeks and they will want to know how. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
-What? -It's scary how well you carry it off. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
Yeah. Sure you don't want a bit of salad now? | 0:16:57 | 0:17:02 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
-Hey, Em. -The Devilles are attending an art launch at three. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
-Oh, that's fine. We'll see you there. -Bye. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:18 | |
Do you think we can make some money out of this one? | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
You never know. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
-Another glass? -It's free. Of course. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
-Five seconds. -Got it. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
It's Balloon Cat, Mr Branson, yes, | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
and Jeff Koons is hotter than ever right now. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
I think it's a steal at half a million, if you'll pardon the pun. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:55 | |
A painting like that would be worth ten times that at auction. | 0:17:55 | 0:18:00 | |
Yeah, I can talk to you later. OK, bye. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
-Excuse me, did we meet? -I don't think so. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:19 | |
Dana Deville, Doctor. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:21 | |
Danny Mullen, dealer. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:22 | |
Oh, you're a dealer? You got a card? My husband and I are always on the lookout for exciting new pieces. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:27 | |
I think I may have one. Here, there we go. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:32 | |
"If you don't ask, you don't get". | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
-And what does that mean? -Exactly what it says. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
On the face of it, some pieces may seem tricky to source. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:45 | |
But I say, I definitely can't help you if you don't ask. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:49 | |
But if you do ask, you get? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
I haven't failed yet. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
What, ever? | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
Nope. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
What if I asked you for something that wasn't even for sale? | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
As I said, I haven't failed yet. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
-Did she bite? -I don't know. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:08 | |
-The Koons that was stolen from Madrid last month? -The what? | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
The Koons, from L'Escuela. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:14 | |
It was an early one, worth maybe a million. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
Well, I think that might just have been the man who stole it. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:26 | |
Then there was Jessica, my uncle's missus, | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
she was fit as a fiddle. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
Bang, massive heart attack - dead before she hit the ground. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
Oh. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
You know, erm, it's really nice of you to come and see me, Eddie. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
I hope you don't think I'm being rude | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
but do you think there's any way we can talk about something | 0:19:54 | 0:19:57 | |
other than premature death from coronary heart disease? | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
Oh. Oh, 'course. Sorry. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Stupid of me. I'm sorry, Carol. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:05 | |
How about deaths from cancer? | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
Same, really. Yeah. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
Go on then, what's your favourite? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
Hey, now you're talking. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
You know when I was a little girl, it was the pink donuts, deffo, | 0:20:37 | 0:20:41 | |
but you know when you get a bit older, it's the blue ones you like... | 0:20:41 | 0:20:45 | |
Well, this man's clearly a player in the art world. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:52 | |
Clearly. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
OK, hand me his card. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
We're going to have to meet. | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
And I said, "Belushi, you keep taking that crap, | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
"it ain't gonna do you no good." | 0:21:02 | 0:21:03 | |
The very next day, he was dead, | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
and I took that as a sign. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
-What sort of a sign? -Primarily that he was sicker than I thought. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
And also that I had a gift and it was my duty to share that gift | 0:21:16 | 0:21:22 | |
and bring wellbeing and healing and happiness to others. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:27 | |
And that's when you joined the CIA? | 0:21:27 | 0:21:28 | |
Five years black ops and the extraordinary thing is that... | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
Oh, enough of you, my sweet! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
I think our guest is a very busy man so | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
let's cut to the chase, shall we? | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
All right. Fine by me. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
Mr Mullen, have you heard of a Faberge egg called the Laurentian? | 0:21:40 | 0:21:44 | |
Hmm... 19th century, it's not really my speciality. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
Well, we own it, it's one of a pair. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
The other's called the Lucien Egg and it's in the Tenguiz Gallery. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:55 | |
Now they were conceived as a pair, they were made as a pair. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
And I'd imagine worth a whole lot more as a pair. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:02 | |
Great minds, Mr Mullen, great minds. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:05 | |
Except that we've approached the owner on a number of occasions | 0:22:05 | 0:22:09 | |
to buy the egg and he refuses. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
Drivels on about its aesthetic beauty, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
how it makes him feel alive just to hold it | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
and we've run out of patience now. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
And so, as requested, we've got four words for you, Mullens. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
Four simple words that require one simple answer. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
Can. You. Acquire. The... | 0:22:27 | 0:22:32 | |
Sorry, five words. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
Can you get us the egg? | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
Well, if we already know that Tenguiz won't sell it to you, | 0:22:37 | 0:22:43 | |
there really is only one way of obtaining it. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:47 | |
Indeed. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
OK. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:53 | |
As I say, this isn't really my area, | 0:22:53 | 0:22:56 | |
so I'm guessing that each egg on its own is worth | 0:22:56 | 0:23:00 | |
maybe a quarter of a million? | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
As a pair, maybe three quarters? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
The Tenguiz is a very secure gallery. It would take organising, | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
which is expensive. I have a team of trusted experts I always use. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:15 | |
I'd want 50K, cash on delivery. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Do you know who we are, Mr Mullen? | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
Of course, I always do my research. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
Then you'll know we're successful business people, | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
who did not get where they are by being taken for fools. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
And believe me, I have serious respect for that. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
But I'd need to know you trust me or this won't work at all. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
Now, excuse me, I'm late for my next meeting. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
We're not saying we don't trust you. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
OK, how's this? I'll involve you in the planning. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:46 | |
But this will take some time to organise. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
So, we'll have regular briefings, updates, at yours, at mine, | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
wherever you want. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:54 | |
If you don't like something and you have a better idea, we'll change it. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
What do you think? | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
Weekly briefings. You'll thank us for our input. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
Then I think we have a deal. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
I think we do. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
You won't regret it. I'll be in touch. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
What time do you call this? | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
I'm sorry but I got held up. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Stop with the excuses. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:27 | |
Three quarters of a mil? More like two. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:39 | |
Nearly £2 million profit! | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
The best art theft deal in the world. Ever! | 0:24:41 | 0:24:45 | |
'There are four types of fat. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:50 | |
'Good fat, bad fat, thin fat and fat fat.' | 0:24:50 | 0:24:53 | |
When setting up the convincer, Ash and I will be in weekly contact | 0:24:53 | 0:24:57 | |
with the Devilles, but when we meet them, | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
Freddy The Face will have fitted Ash with a smaller fat suit. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
So by the time the convincer is over, he'll appear to have lost six stone in as many weeks. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:07 | |
'I'm Doctor Dean Deville, I'm Doctor Dean Deville, | 0:25:07 | 0:25:10 | |
'and I'm here to tell you about the EYS plan.' | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
The stakes are high. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Breaking into The Tenguiz Gallery to get the egg is a tall order. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
OK, that's how you get in. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
'You, too, can be part of the Eat Yourself Slender Plan.' | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
So, the chemical the objects are sprayed with | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
is called Aceto-Styteline. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
It reacts with the infra-red on the doors and sets the alarms off. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
But if you subject Styteline to a 15-nanosecond blast of black light... | 0:25:42 | 0:25:46 | |
..It temporarily changes its refractive index. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
'The Eat Yourself Slender Plan lets you eat the good, thin fat you like, | 0:26:07 | 0:26:11 | |
'whilst at the same time reducing your bad fat fat.' | 0:26:11 | 0:26:14 | |
See you soon. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:18 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
I got to change my lens prescription. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
Through the ducts is the best way to get in. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 0:26:34 | 0:26:35 | |
Er, sorry, here are the, er... | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
Ah, good. Good. Now, this is what we were missing. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:41 | |
'The Eat Yourself Slender Plan! | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
'Because the rest of your life starts today.' | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
-You sure you're ready for the break-in? -Yeah. 100%. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
See you at the penthouse tomorrow, eight o'clock, sharp. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
We'll supply the popcorn. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:56 | |
My team should be arriving at the gallery now. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
They know this has to go like clockwork. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:21 | |
-There you go. -Thank you. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
-Champagne? -Thanks. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:24 | |
Please, have a seat. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:25 | |
Sailing bloody close to the wind, bringing them in here. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
The nearer we draw them to us, the more they'll trust us. According to Mickey. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:34 | |
Ah, this is Claude. He takes care of all our security concerns. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:56 | |
Ah, the old "in and out" guy, huh? | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
OK, we're in. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:08 | |
There they are. | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
Right. | 0:28:54 | 0:28:56 | |
OK. Let's do it. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:11 | |
OK, I'm here. | 0:29:30 | 0:29:32 | |
OK, cameras 19 and 24 will freeze when I press enter. | 0:29:32 | 0:29:36 | |
But the system's on an automatic reboot every three minutes, | 0:29:36 | 0:29:39 | |
which I can't override. | 0:29:39 | 0:29:41 | |
'So, you have exactly 180 seconds from when I say, OK?' | 0:29:41 | 0:29:45 | |
And, go! | 0:29:46 | 0:29:49 | |
Here comes the black light now. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:31 | |
Come on, come on. | 0:31:09 | 0:31:11 | |
How much longer does he have? | 0:31:11 | 0:31:13 | |
45 seconds. Come on, fella, come on. | 0:31:13 | 0:31:15 | |
Now the moment of truth. | 0:31:32 | 0:31:34 | |
The black light should block the security alarm. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
Wow. Ha! It actually worked. | 0:31:42 | 0:31:45 | |
What did I say? | 0:31:45 | 0:31:46 | |
Come on, Sean. | 0:31:46 | 0:31:48 | |
Eight, seven... | 0:31:50 | 0:31:52 | |
Six, five, four, three, two, one. | 0:31:52 | 0:31:59 | |
Uh! Ha! | 0:32:03 | 0:32:04 | |
Nice one! | 0:32:06 | 0:32:08 | |
So, give us 24 hours, let the dust settle, and we'll meet up tomorrow. | 0:32:13 | 0:32:18 | |
-You know, Mullen, Bill Clinton once said to me... -Shut up, Dean. | 0:32:18 | 0:32:21 | |
-No, Bill never said that. -Goodnight, Mr Mullen. | 0:32:21 | 0:32:23 | |
Goodnight! | 0:32:23 | 0:32:24 | |
Softly, softly. | 0:32:32 | 0:32:34 | |
I bet you haven't seen one this big before. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:19 | |
I don't think I have. And what a funny colour, innit, it's just... | 0:33:19 | 0:33:23 | |
Can I have a quick word please, sir? | 0:33:23 | 0:33:25 | |
Yeah, sure, yeah. | 0:33:25 | 0:33:26 | |
You like Carol, don't you? | 0:33:29 | 0:33:30 | |
Yeah, well, I do a bit, yeah. Y'know. | 0:33:30 | 0:33:32 | |
She'll be ready to leave in a few days. And she'll need someone. | 0:33:32 | 0:33:36 | |
To help her change her lifestyle, | 0:33:36 | 0:33:37 | |
to help her lose weight and get fit again. | 0:33:37 | 0:33:40 | |
And I was just wondering that, if you did it together | 0:33:40 | 0:33:43 | |
you might find that you wouldn't need all the cakes and the sweets and... | 0:33:43 | 0:33:47 | |
As you can see, it's got a time and a date on it. | 0:33:58 | 0:34:01 | |
So I'm hoping that'll reveal who paid for five coffees, | 0:34:01 | 0:34:04 | |
four flapjacks and a croissant here, Thursday last. | 0:34:04 | 0:34:08 | |
Beautiful, isn't it? | 0:34:11 | 0:34:12 | |
I think you and I could do a lot more business together, Mr Mullen. | 0:34:14 | 0:34:18 | |
I very much hope so. | 0:34:18 | 0:34:19 | |
We will most definitely be in touch. | 0:34:19 | 0:34:22 | |
Oh, and remember.... | 0:34:22 | 0:34:23 | |
TOGETHER: "If you don't ask..." | 0:34:23 | 0:34:26 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:34:26 | 0:34:27 | |
What do you feed your staff on, Mr Mullen? | 0:34:48 | 0:34:51 | |
I'm sorry? | 0:34:51 | 0:34:53 | |
Buddy, you're either on a hell of a diet or you have terminal cancer. | 0:34:53 | 0:34:56 | |
Oh. You're right. He has lost some weight. | 0:34:56 | 0:34:58 | |
Six stone, actually. | 0:34:58 | 0:34:59 | |
-What did you say? -In as many weeks. | 0:34:59 | 0:35:01 | |
Six stone in six weeks? How? | 0:35:01 | 0:35:06 | |
-Oh, no, that's private. -Oh. Don't be like that. | 0:35:06 | 0:35:08 | |
You wouldn't want to make little Dana cross, would you? | 0:35:08 | 0:35:11 | |
Weight loss is our business. | 0:35:11 | 0:35:13 | |
It's a new diet drink. | 0:35:14 | 0:35:16 | |
A diet drink? | 0:35:16 | 0:35:17 | |
Yeah. Just one spoonful, and bingo. | 0:35:17 | 0:35:19 | |
What diet drink? Where did you get it, this diet drink? | 0:35:19 | 0:35:22 | |
How come I haven't heard about this new diet drink? | 0:35:22 | 0:35:26 | |
Tell me, or you'll be losing a couple more ounces right here. | 0:35:26 | 0:35:30 | |
Cos it's not for sale. | 0:35:30 | 0:35:32 | |
Er, cos it's still being tested. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:35 | |
Cos I sort of...nicked it. | 0:35:35 | 0:35:39 | |
My missus works as a lab assistant for Spitz-Kleinman. | 0:35:41 | 0:35:46 | |
They're a pharmaceutical company. | 0:35:46 | 0:35:48 | |
We know who they are. | 0:35:48 | 0:35:49 | |
Yeah, and occasionally she'd bring some of her work home with her. | 0:35:49 | 0:35:53 | |
Anyway, she was talking about this new weight-loss product | 0:35:53 | 0:35:56 | |
they'd been testing on rats, called, er, Reducio. | 0:35:56 | 0:36:00 | |
It had been a bit of a disappointment, she said, | 0:36:00 | 0:36:03 | |
so...she bought a few bottles of it home to do some more work on and... | 0:36:03 | 0:36:10 | |
It's OK, Phillips, we won't tell anyone. Go on. | 0:36:10 | 0:36:14 | |
Well, I just borrowed a bottle. | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
I've always struggled with me weight | 0:36:16 | 0:36:19 | |
and, well, I wanted to see if this was the one, you know, | 0:36:19 | 0:36:22 | |
the one diet product that actually worked. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:25 | |
And boy, did it? | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
Yeah, just one spoonful a day. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:29 | |
You know, you can still eat anything you want. | 0:36:29 | 0:36:31 | |
And the fat... | 0:36:31 | 0:36:33 | |
It all comes out in your pores. | 0:36:34 | 0:36:36 | |
You sweat it out! | 0:36:36 | 0:36:38 | |
Yeah, you sweat all the fat out! | 0:36:38 | 0:36:41 | |
That is genius. | 0:36:41 | 0:36:43 | |
And what did your wife say when she saw how much you'd lost? | 0:36:43 | 0:36:47 | |
Well my wife didn't say anything. | 0:36:50 | 0:36:52 | |
She didn't say anything? You were a freak! | 0:36:52 | 0:36:54 | |
When you stood on the scales, it just said, "To be continued". | 0:36:54 | 0:36:58 | |
She must have said something! | 0:36:58 | 0:37:00 | |
No. No, no, cos she didn't know. | 0:37:00 | 0:37:02 | |
You see, just before I took the bottle, | 0:37:04 | 0:37:06 | |
she told me she was leaving me for a body-builder from Purley. | 0:37:06 | 0:37:09 | |
She left that night. | 0:37:11 | 0:37:13 | |
DANA GASPS | 0:37:13 | 0:37:15 | |
Oh! Oh! Phillips! Excellent news! | 0:37:15 | 0:37:19 | |
What!? | 0:37:19 | 0:37:21 | |
That you have lost so much weight is excellent news! | 0:37:21 | 0:37:23 | |
But let me just confirm one thing - | 0:37:23 | 0:37:25 | |
that your wife has absolutely no idea the product worked so well for you? | 0:37:25 | 0:37:30 | |
No. No, none at all. No. | 0:37:30 | 0:37:33 | |
Do you know when Spitz-Kleinman were planning on starting human trials? | 0:37:33 | 0:37:37 | |
Well, er, it could be a matter of months, she said. | 0:37:37 | 0:37:41 | |
Or even a year. | 0:37:41 | 0:37:43 | |
Do you, I mean to say, that is... | 0:37:43 | 0:37:48 | |
Do you think we could have an incy-wincy little look | 0:37:48 | 0:37:52 | |
at this bottle? Maurice? | 0:37:52 | 0:37:57 | |
Oh, I mean, I'd love to. | 0:37:58 | 0:38:02 | |
Dana. | 0:38:02 | 0:38:03 | |
HE INHALES DEEPLY | 0:38:03 | 0:38:06 | |
But I finished the last of it two days ago, I'm afraid. | 0:38:07 | 0:38:10 | |
OK, no problem. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:15 | |
Well, why don't we pop into the kitchen | 0:38:15 | 0:38:19 | |
and get you some lard or refined sugars | 0:38:19 | 0:38:23 | |
or whatever it is you generally like to eat, | 0:38:23 | 0:38:28 | |
while we have a nice little chat with Mr Mullen? | 0:38:28 | 0:38:31 | |
Do you have any idea how much a product like that could be worth? | 0:38:35 | 0:38:39 | |
One that actually does what we say it does? | 0:38:39 | 0:38:42 | |
We could make billions! Literally billions! | 0:38:42 | 0:38:44 | |
We sell it as a health supplement, "aiding weight loss", to bypass the regs. | 0:38:44 | 0:38:48 | |
And beat Spitz to the market! | 0:38:48 | 0:38:50 | |
No more looking over our shoulders, no more fighting off lawsuits. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:53 | |
Instead, we'd be feted, we'd be honoured! | 0:38:53 | 0:38:56 | |
The Nobel Prize for services to fat! | 0:38:56 | 0:38:59 | |
Arise, Sir Dean and Dana! | 0:38:59 | 0:39:02 | |
Of Deville! | 0:39:02 | 0:39:03 | |
THEY GASP | 0:39:03 | 0:39:04 | |
Excuse me. | 0:39:04 | 0:39:06 | |
Sorry to interrupt, but aren't you forgetting something? | 0:39:06 | 0:39:10 | |
He used it all, remember? | 0:39:12 | 0:39:14 | |
You don't actually have the drug. | 0:39:14 | 0:39:17 | |
What do have is a man who successfully broke into | 0:39:17 | 0:39:19 | |
one of the most secure galleries in London. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:22 | |
How much harder can it be to break in to a laboratory? | 0:39:22 | 0:39:26 | |
-And steal the formula? -Why not? | 0:39:26 | 0:39:27 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:39:27 | 0:39:29 | |
Oh, no. | 0:39:29 | 0:39:30 | |
Equal share, the three of us. | 0:39:30 | 0:39:32 | |
This is big pharma. Those guys are scary. | 0:39:32 | 0:39:34 | |
We pay you a flat fee, then. | 0:39:34 | 0:39:36 | |
You just help us steal it, don't get involved in any of the rest. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:39 | |
Sorry. | 0:39:39 | 0:39:40 | |
-Same as for the egg. -Not interested. | 0:39:40 | 0:39:43 | |
-100, then. -Nope. -OK, double. | 0:39:43 | 0:39:45 | |
200,000 sterling. COD. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:49 | |
Then you're out. | 0:39:49 | 0:39:50 | |
A quarter of a million, | 0:39:54 | 0:39:56 | |
and I'll do it. | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
Quarter of a million it is. | 0:40:00 | 0:40:02 | |
But this time, he'll come along for the ride. | 0:40:03 | 0:40:06 | |
What?! | 0:40:06 | 0:40:07 | |
You want Dean to take part in the break-in? | 0:40:07 | 0:40:10 | |
Just as an observer. I want to be absolutely certain | 0:40:10 | 0:40:13 | |
that we're handing over a quarter of a brick for the real deal. | 0:40:13 | 0:40:17 | |
-Er, sweetheart, can.... -Be quiet, Dean. -OK! | 0:40:17 | 0:40:20 | |
It's your money. | 0:40:22 | 0:40:24 | |
But as an observer, nothing more. | 0:40:24 | 0:40:27 | |
That's a kayaking course. | 0:40:30 | 0:40:33 | |
That one's rock climbing up one of them walls. | 0:40:33 | 0:40:36 | |
Oh, and that's a ballroom dancing course. | 0:40:36 | 0:40:39 | |
"The Merengue, the Salsa, the American Smooth." | 0:40:39 | 0:40:41 | |
Blimey, just reading about them's making me hungry. | 0:40:41 | 0:40:44 | |
But that's the thing, isn't it? | 0:40:44 | 0:40:46 | |
Nothing wrong with having a blow-out, if you're burning off the calories. | 0:40:46 | 0:40:49 | |
Yeah. I know, I know, I know. | 0:40:49 | 0:40:51 | |
What? Why would you not even try it? Just one of 'em, surely. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:55 | |
-And why wouldn't you? -I dunno. It's just... | 0:40:55 | 0:41:00 | |
What? | 0:41:00 | 0:41:01 | |
Oh, it's, going on your own, isn't it? | 0:41:02 | 0:41:05 | |
It's the same for me. | 0:41:05 | 0:41:06 | |
If I had someone to go with, I'd do it in a shot. | 0:41:06 | 0:41:08 | |
-Would you, really? -Like a shot. | 0:41:08 | 0:41:11 | |
So don't you know anyone, then, that we can ring and ask, you know, to take you? | 0:41:13 | 0:41:16 | |
Yeah, I do know this one fella. | 0:41:16 | 0:41:18 | |
He's a bit of a numpty, but I just think he's painfully shy. | 0:41:18 | 0:41:22 | |
But I really like him | 0:41:22 | 0:41:23 | |
and I'd love to spend some more time with him when I get out of here. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
Oh. OK, yeah. | 0:41:26 | 0:41:28 | |
Pass us a phone, I'll give him a bell. | 0:41:28 | 0:41:30 | |
Yeah, all right, there you go. | 0:41:32 | 0:41:34 | |
It's ringing. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:41 | |
Mine's ringing now. | 0:41:41 | 0:41:43 | |
Hello? | 0:41:45 | 0:41:47 | |
-Hi, is this Eddie? -Yeah, speaking. | 0:41:47 | 0:41:49 | |
Hi, Eddie, it's Carol. I'd like to know, when I get out, | 0:41:49 | 0:41:53 | |
will you go ballroom dancing with me? | 0:41:53 | 0:41:55 | |
Hello? Anybody here? | 0:41:59 | 0:42:00 | |
Service! | 0:42:06 | 0:42:07 | |
Cor, disgraceful behaviour, innit? | 0:42:09 | 0:42:11 | |
Just can't get the staff these days. | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
So. | 0:42:16 | 0:42:17 | |
All we have to do, is get in to one of their labs, | 0:42:17 | 0:42:21 | |
plant the formula inside it, and get out of the lab, | 0:42:21 | 0:42:24 | |
so that we can get back in again to take out what we've just put in. | 0:42:24 | 0:42:27 | |
-Simple! -Ash, can you handle the data? | 0:42:27 | 0:42:29 | |
I've just lost six stone, | 0:42:29 | 0:42:31 | |
I am strong, I am empowered, I am beautiful. | 0:42:31 | 0:42:34 | |
-Is that a yes? -Go on, then. | 0:42:34 | 0:42:36 | |
Sean, we'll need some promotional stuff. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:38 | |
Albert, fake IDs? | 0:42:38 | 0:42:39 | |
No problem. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:40 | |
Emma, we need you inside. | 0:42:40 | 0:42:42 | |
Now, they're looking for domestics. Give them a call. | 0:42:42 | 0:42:44 | |
And I need to work out a way to get us undisturbed access | 0:42:44 | 0:42:47 | |
to a lab for an hour or so. | 0:42:47 | 0:42:50 | |
The key, in jobs like this one, is to contrive a way | 0:42:52 | 0:42:56 | |
to walk in through the front door, find the right lab, | 0:42:56 | 0:42:59 | |
take the formula, and walk out again, calmly, | 0:42:59 | 0:43:02 | |
without attracting attention. | 0:43:02 | 0:43:04 | |
Here you are. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:05 | |
And right now, I have a team of experts working very hard | 0:43:05 | 0:43:07 | |
to make that plan work. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:09 | |
Dean. You and I will be officers from | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence, | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 | |
come to do a spot-check on their clinical facilities. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:17 | |
Once we're inside reception, we will tell security we need to inspect | 0:43:17 | 0:43:21 | |
two labs, that we will need for no longer than 15 minutes. | 0:43:21 | 0:43:24 | |
We'll also tell them we need those labs cleared. | 0:43:24 | 0:43:27 | |
Dean, you and I will have IDs and numbers to call for verification, | 0:43:27 | 0:43:31 | |
though any call they make will be diverted to one of my team. | 0:43:31 | 0:43:35 | |
You've done this before. | 0:43:35 | 0:43:37 | |
HE SMIRKS | 0:43:37 | 0:43:38 | |
All we need to do now is find out which lab Reducio is being developed in. | 0:43:38 | 0:43:42 | |
My IT experts are hacking their mainframe to find out - | 0:43:42 | 0:43:44 | |
so that we know which lab we want to "randomly" check. | 0:43:44 | 0:43:48 | |
Once we have that information, we're good to go. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
-Healthy lifestyle, healthy fridge. -Oh, Eddie. | 0:44:03 | 0:44:06 | |
Thank you so much. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:10 | |
You're such a lovely man. | 0:44:10 | 0:44:12 | |
Better than a kick in the teeth... | 0:44:31 | 0:44:34 | |
Sean Kennedy? | 0:44:44 | 0:44:45 | |
Yeah? | 0:44:45 | 0:44:46 | |
DS Rivet, Hoxton nick. | 0:44:46 | 0:44:47 | |
I think we need to have a little chat. | 0:44:47 | 0:44:50 | |
Oh, no. | 0:44:52 | 0:44:53 | |
What the hell's happened? | 0:45:08 | 0:45:11 | |
They're questioning Sean about the Tenguiz break-in. | 0:45:11 | 0:45:14 | |
Seems he dropped something that IDs him. | 0:45:14 | 0:45:16 | |
-Oh, my God. Is he going to blab? -No, of course not. | 0:45:16 | 0:45:18 | |
What's the problem, then? | 0:45:18 | 0:45:20 | |
Kid'll be out in ten, | 0:45:20 | 0:45:21 | |
still got time to make something of himself. | 0:45:21 | 0:45:24 | |
The problem is that the police are watching us like hawks - | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
so we're not going to go ahead with the Spitz job. | 0:45:27 | 0:45:30 | |
Any of us. It's suicide. | 0:45:30 | 0:45:33 | |
He's right, I'm sorry, it's over. | 0:45:33 | 0:45:36 | |
Wait! | 0:45:37 | 0:45:39 | |
They're not watching us. | 0:45:39 | 0:45:40 | |
They don't even know about us. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:42 | |
And? | 0:45:42 | 0:45:43 | |
Oh, no. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:49 | |
You mean we do it?! | 0:45:50 | 0:45:53 | |
The two of us? The break-in? | 0:45:53 | 0:45:55 | |
Why not? We could wear earpieces. | 0:45:55 | 0:45:57 | |
Mullen could talk us through it. What do you say, Mullen? | 0:45:57 | 0:46:00 | |
-I say you're insane. -Really? How hard can it be? | 0:46:00 | 0:46:02 | |
-Honey, it could... -Shut up! Come on, why not? | 0:46:02 | 0:46:06 | |
We didn't learn this business overnight. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:09 | |
-It takes years of experience. -You underestimate me. | 0:46:09 | 0:46:12 | |
You have no idea of some of the things I've done to make money. | 0:46:12 | 0:46:15 | |
We've never been beaten, never failed. | 0:46:15 | 0:46:19 | |
Well, you have now. It's a crazy idea. | 0:46:19 | 0:46:22 | |
Fine. Walk away from 250,000 sterling then. | 0:46:22 | 0:46:25 | |
When we're so close. | 0:46:25 | 0:46:27 | |
SO close! | 0:46:27 | 0:46:30 | |
Come on, Mullen! We can make this work. | 0:46:30 | 0:46:33 | |
Remember how good that money felt in your hands. | 0:46:33 | 0:46:36 | |
OK. | 0:46:43 | 0:46:45 | |
OK, but we have to move fast, while they're preoccupied with Sean. | 0:46:45 | 0:46:48 | |
HE CLICKS HIS TEETH | 0:46:53 | 0:46:54 | |
OK, I confess, I can't take it any longer, I did it. | 0:46:56 | 0:47:00 | |
But of course you did it. | 0:47:00 | 0:47:02 | |
We all know you did it. | 0:47:02 | 0:47:04 | |
Yeah, I did it. | 0:47:04 | 0:47:06 | |
I went to the Tenguiz gallery | 0:47:06 | 0:47:09 | |
and I dropped a bit of litter on the floor. | 0:47:09 | 0:47:12 | |
I wonder if you'll find it so funny standing in the dock, | 0:47:14 | 0:47:18 | |
facing down a ten stretch. | 0:47:18 | 0:47:20 | |
Testing, testing. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:24 | |
Cor-blimey guv'nor, it's a real pea-souper, make no mistake. | 0:47:26 | 0:47:29 | |
Remind me why we thought this was a good idea. | 0:47:29 | 0:47:32 | |
Dean, they do have American employees. | 0:47:32 | 0:47:35 | |
Cuppa Rosy-Lee, don't mind if I do! Ta very much! | 0:47:35 | 0:47:38 | |
I bet Sean's more relaxed than me right now. | 0:47:38 | 0:47:41 | |
Maybe this time, this time, we may have gone too far. | 0:47:41 | 0:47:46 | |
Don't say a freakin' word | 0:47:48 | 0:47:49 | |
or I swear I'll never do the thing with the mango again. | 0:47:49 | 0:47:52 | |
Mango? | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
Jessica Amwell, Paul Banstead, National Institute for Clinical Excellence. | 0:47:54 | 0:47:58 | |
We're doing a lab spot-check in light of the Strep-C outbreak in Munich | 0:47:58 | 0:48:01 | |
and we've selected two of your labs at random, numbers three and 14. | 0:48:01 | 0:48:05 | |
'To inspect, we'll need uninterrupted access for approximately 15 minutes. | 0:48:05 | 0:48:09 | |
'You will wish to confirm our IDs.' | 0:48:09 | 0:48:11 | |
You can talk to our authentication department on this number. | 0:48:11 | 0:48:14 | |
Thank you so much. | 0:48:14 | 0:48:15 | |
MOBILE RINGS | 0:48:17 | 0:48:21 | |
Good morning, | 0:48:24 | 0:48:25 | |
National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence Authentication department. How can I help you? | 0:48:25 | 0:48:31 | |
'Emma? They're clearing everyone out of the lab. Put the files in place.' | 0:48:35 | 0:48:40 | |
We had a scientist up in Scotland last year who caught a new flesh-eating bug. | 0:49:08 | 0:49:12 | |
By the time they got to him, all that was left was one thumb and an earlobe. True story! | 0:49:12 | 0:49:16 | |
Not too obvious, Em. | 0:49:35 | 0:49:37 | |
We're good from here, thank you. | 0:49:44 | 0:49:46 | |
Mullen, we're in. | 0:49:49 | 0:49:51 | |
-'OK, now what have you got?' -Three computers, I'm on the first. Opening it up. | 0:49:51 | 0:49:55 | |
'OK, I can't see anything, | 0:49:55 | 0:49:58 | |
'I can't see anything.' | 0:49:58 | 0:50:00 | |
What am I looking for? Facts? | 0:50:00 | 0:50:02 | |
Come on, come on, come on. | 0:50:02 | 0:50:04 | |
Are we 100% sure this is the right lab? | 0:50:04 | 0:50:07 | |
Let me try another computer. | 0:50:08 | 0:50:10 | |
OK, second computer. | 0:50:10 | 0:50:12 | |
-Security? -Go ahead. | 0:50:13 | 0:50:14 | |
-There's a problem at reception. -On my way. | 0:50:14 | 0:50:17 | |
Come on, come on! | 0:50:17 | 0:50:19 | |
Hang on. | 0:50:22 | 0:50:24 | |
I got something here, too. | 0:50:24 | 0:50:26 | |
Reducio Optimum 7? | 0:50:26 | 0:50:29 | |
'That's it, that's it.' | 0:50:29 | 0:50:31 | |
It's here, too. | 0:50:31 | 0:50:33 | |
These guys have got no idea on branding. | 0:50:34 | 0:50:36 | |
It should be Fat-U-Sweat. | 0:50:36 | 0:50:38 | |
'Perspira-Go'. | 0:50:38 | 0:50:39 | |
'Or Fatooze.' | 0:50:39 | 0:50:40 | |
Guys, can we just download the file and get the hell out? | 0:50:40 | 0:50:43 | |
Now? | 0:50:43 | 0:50:45 | |
Right, what have you got? | 0:50:51 | 0:50:53 | |
Look, this doesn't match. | 0:50:53 | 0:50:55 | |
Security breach. | 0:50:55 | 0:50:57 | |
We've got it! | 0:51:03 | 0:51:05 | |
So near, so very, very near. | 0:51:12 | 0:51:16 | |
This is a very strange sensation. | 0:51:16 | 0:51:18 | |
I'm rooting for the mark. | 0:51:18 | 0:51:20 | |
It's all gone weird. | 0:51:20 | 0:51:22 | |
The Americans are on the third floor! | 0:51:22 | 0:51:25 | |
(Try the back exit.) | 0:51:26 | 0:51:28 | |
'Boys, the third floor.' | 0:51:33 | 0:51:36 | |
THEY WHOOP AND HOLLER WITH DELIGHT | 0:51:43 | 0:51:46 | |
Come on! | 0:51:46 | 0:51:47 | |
THEY CACKLE GLEEFULLY | 0:51:56 | 0:51:58 | |
'Woo! Woo! | 0:52:01 | 0:52:04 | |
'Go, go, go!' | 0:52:04 | 0:52:05 | |
Your money? | 0:52:12 | 0:52:14 | |
My money. | 0:52:14 | 0:52:16 | |
You...moron! | 0:52:16 | 0:52:20 | |
You didn't seriously think | 0:52:20 | 0:52:21 | |
we were going to give you a quarter of a million G's, did you? | 0:52:21 | 0:52:26 | |
Why not, we had a deal? | 0:52:26 | 0:52:27 | |
I'll tell you why not. | 0:52:27 | 0:52:29 | |
Because we did all the hard work. That's why not. | 0:52:29 | 0:52:33 | |
-I think you're being unfair. -Really? | 0:52:33 | 0:52:34 | |
I did a lot of preparation behind the scenes. | 0:52:34 | 0:52:37 | |
I did some work you didn't even see. | 0:52:37 | 0:52:39 | |
I don't give a rat's ass what you did behind the scenes. | 0:52:39 | 0:52:41 | |
We have the formula - it's being made up right now - and we don't need you any more! | 0:52:41 | 0:52:46 | |
Boo-hoo-hoo! | 0:52:46 | 0:52:48 | |
Seriously, what sort of idiots do you think we are? | 0:52:48 | 0:52:50 | |
The sort who thought I was attaching a microphone to that brooch when actually it was a camera. | 0:52:50 | 0:52:55 | |
A camera that filmed you and your husband breaking in to Spitz-Kleinman. | 0:52:55 | 0:53:00 | |
Cup of Rosy-Lee, don't mind if I do, ta very much! | 0:53:00 | 0:53:02 | |
The footage of which I've put on a DVD | 0:53:06 | 0:53:09 | |
and have given to my assistant | 0:53:09 | 0:53:11 | |
who is at this moment outside Scotland Yard | 0:53:11 | 0:53:14 | |
waiting for my phone call. | 0:53:14 | 0:53:16 | |
Those sorts of idiots. | 0:53:16 | 0:53:18 | |
250 grand, cash, please. | 0:53:19 | 0:53:22 | |
I almost feel bad. | 0:53:22 | 0:53:24 | |
Yeah, cos they think that's the worst thing that's going to happen to them today. | 0:53:24 | 0:53:28 | |
You know, it almost seems unfair. | 0:53:28 | 0:53:31 | |
Almost! | 0:53:31 | 0:53:33 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:53:33 | 0:53:34 | |
Are you sure this is the right formula? | 0:53:34 | 0:53:36 | |
I stole it myself, so I think I know what I'm doing. | 0:53:36 | 0:53:39 | |
Now shut up and give me the bottle! | 0:53:39 | 0:53:41 | |
-I want to sweat some fat. -Yeah, me, too! Huh! | 0:53:41 | 0:53:44 | |
You're definitely sweating. | 0:53:55 | 0:53:58 | |
Oh, my... | 0:54:03 | 0:54:04 | |
Yeah, that's what I thought. | 0:54:10 | 0:54:12 | |
Cos that formula's just an emetic. | 0:54:12 | 0:54:15 | |
HE STIFLES VOMITING | 0:54:15 | 0:54:17 | |
A very powerful one, granted. | 0:54:18 | 0:54:20 | |
HE RETCHES VIOLENTLY | 0:54:27 | 0:54:28 | |
But an emetic just the same. | 0:54:28 | 0:54:30 | |
SHE PANTS | 0:54:31 | 0:54:32 | |
We just gave him 250 grand for something that makes you sick?! | 0:54:32 | 0:54:36 | |
Well, at least we still have the egg, honey. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:39 | |
HOARSELY: 50 grand for an egg that's now worth 20 times that. | 0:54:39 | 0:54:43 | |
He may think he had us, he may think he was smart, | 0:54:43 | 0:54:46 | |
but we're still way up on the deal! | 0:54:46 | 0:54:49 | |
Who's the idiot now, Mullen? Who's laughing now! | 0:54:49 | 0:54:54 | |
HE RETCHES | 0:54:54 | 0:54:55 | |
Excuse me? | 0:55:00 | 0:55:01 | |
Is that meant to be in there? | 0:55:02 | 0:55:05 | |
It's believed the egg might have been accidentally moved by a cleaner | 0:55:08 | 0:55:11 | |
or even a practical joker, | 0:55:11 | 0:55:13 | |
but however it happened, Lord Tenguiz declared he was delighted to have his egg back. | 0:55:13 | 0:55:17 | |
As you can see, the egg is now.... | 0:55:17 | 0:55:19 | |
Mmm. I'm no legal expert, but I'd imagine it's quite difficult | 0:55:19 | 0:55:22 | |
to charge someone for stealing something that hasn't been stolen. | 0:55:22 | 0:55:26 | |
Wouldn't you say? | 0:55:26 | 0:55:28 | |
'The egg is now back in its rightful place, and what a piece of art it is. | 0:55:34 | 0:55:37 | |
'It was created...' | 0:55:37 | 0:55:39 | |
But, but, no! | 0:55:39 | 0:55:42 | |
He stole it! He said, if you used the black light... | 0:55:42 | 0:55:47 | |
If you subject Styteline to a 15-nanosecond blast of black light, | 0:55:47 | 0:55:52 | |
it temporarily changes the refractive index. | 0:55:52 | 0:55:54 | |
And if you believe that load of old cobblers, you'll believe anything. | 0:55:54 | 0:55:58 | |
We saw him leave the room with it. | 0:56:00 | 0:56:02 | |
We saw him leave the room with it! | 0:56:02 | 0:56:04 | |
No! | 0:56:43 | 0:56:45 | |
We do the cons! We're the ones who do the conning! | 0:56:47 | 0:56:50 | |
This really has to be your best work. THE best. | 0:56:50 | 0:56:54 | |
We're the ones who do the goddamn conning! | 0:56:57 | 0:57:02 | |
So they had to do the robbery themselves, | 0:57:02 | 0:57:04 | |
or they could have gone to the police. | 0:57:04 | 0:57:06 | |
Or come after us. But now, they can't do either. | 0:57:06 | 0:57:08 | |
Yeah, but how would you know for sure they would offer to do it? | 0:57:08 | 0:57:11 | |
Well, their arrogance, their greed, their need? | 0:57:11 | 0:57:14 | |
All we had to do was convince them none of us could do the job. | 0:57:14 | 0:57:17 | |
So you dropped the receipt deliberately. Unbelievable! | 0:57:35 | 0:57:38 | |
How you lot pull it off, I've no idea. | 0:57:38 | 0:57:40 | |
Oh! Says the man who pulled off the greatest con of the 21st century. | 0:57:40 | 0:57:43 | |
It's quite remarkable, Eddie. | 0:57:43 | 0:57:45 | |
You managed to convince Carol you're an attractive man! | 0:57:45 | 0:57:48 | |
Oi! We think he's a bit of all right, don't we Carol? | 0:57:48 | 0:57:50 | |
I won't hear a word against him. Mwah! | 0:57:50 | 0:57:53 | |
OTHERS: Oooh! | 0:57:53 | 0:57:55 | |
All right, how about a toast, how about a toast? | 0:57:55 | 0:57:58 | |
To Eddie, to Carol, to all of us - and our good health. | 0:57:58 | 0:58:01 | |
ALL: Our good health! | 0:58:01 | 0:58:03 | |
Hang on. | 0:58:04 | 0:58:06 | |
-Crudites, anyone? -Low-fat dip? | 0:58:06 | 0:58:08 | |
He's a friend of chairman Mao, isn't he? | 0:58:08 | 0:58:10 | |
Ooh! | 0:58:10 | 0:58:11 | |
Hey, Chinese - now you're talking. Who's got a menu? | 0:58:11 | 0:58:14 | |
Cheers, all. | 0:58:14 | 0:58:16 | |
Cheers! | 0:58:16 | 0:58:17 | |
GLASSES CLINK | 0:58:17 | 0:58:19 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:58:37 | 0:58:41 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:58:41 | 0:58:44 |