Browse content similar to Episode 1. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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Did I tell you how grateful I am to you for giving me the strength | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
and courage to stop hiding? | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
-They're getting "married". The lesbians. -Ah! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:09 | |
-Are you sure about this? -Course. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
You can get on with your work, I'll only be half an hour, 40 minutes. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-What's happened? -Kate's been hit by a car. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
I wish you were here. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
Do we know any more about what's happened to the idiots that | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
-knocked her down? -Oh, did I not tell you? | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
-They were released...on bail. -Do you really want to marry me? | 0:00:26 | 0:00:29 | |
I've wanted to marry you since I was 16. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
Can you, knowing you murdered his brother? | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
When you told me about our Eddie, | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
that he used to knock you about, I knew. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
That's why I was convinced that you'd done something to him. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
I lived in terror every day for years. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
-If I had killed him, would you have blamed me? -No. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:50 | |
But you didn't. Did you? | 0:00:50 | 0:00:53 | |
"Because murder's murder," he said. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
I've always imagined that one day I could tell him the truth. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
And he would understand. But now I know that he never would. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:05 | |
Ever. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:06 | |
RINGTONE: Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Oh, hello, now what? | 0:02:05 | 0:02:06 | |
Hello? | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
Mum! Guess what. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
The aliens have landed. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
No, not yet. I've... Well, they might have but no-one's told me. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
I've got a new headship. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
I've just had a phone call, just now. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:18 | |
I didn't even know you'd applied for a headship. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
No, well, I didn't tell anyone. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
Four months and five interviews later, | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
I've found out I pipped all the other candidates to the post. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
Oh, well... | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
good for you, congratulations. Where is it? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
What sort of school is it? Will you get more money? | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
I'll come on to that. The point is, I'm selling the house. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
We're moving. I've just rung the estate agents just now, so... | 0:02:36 | 0:02:41 | |
Oh, really? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
Yeah. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
'OK, so...' | 0:02:44 | 0:02:45 | |
So obviously you and Alan will have to decide whether you're going | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
to move with me, or move in with Gillian and Robbie, or... | 0:02:48 | 0:02:52 | |
get a place of your own. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
What's happened? | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
Well, where is it? | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
You're not going down south? | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
No. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:00 | |
-'Is it abroad?' -No. No. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:05 | |
It's in Huddersfield. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
It's a state school. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
What, like... | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
where the ordinary people go? | 0:03:10 | 0:03:14 | |
Oh, hell's bells. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
Spit it out. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
I don't think it's in a very nice area. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
How can you tell? | 0:03:21 | 0:03:22 | |
Oh, my God! Crow Wood Park! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
That's where Adrian Bottomley got sent when they expelled him. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
It's where that science teacher got stabbed last year. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
He pulled through. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
I needed a challenge. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
Good. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
You can get stale. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
Absolutely. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:50 | |
And that's no good for anyone. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
What do the boys think? | 0:03:52 | 0:03:53 | |
Wow. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
Wow. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
Also, I decided it was time to put something back. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
-Back into... -Yeah. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
..society. I was born lucky. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:08 | |
All my life, I've been lucky, so... | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
So, when will you take over? | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
After Christmas. Spring term. Course, I've got the house to sell. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
Find something a bit nearer. I thought maybe round here. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:22 | |
It'll be a big change. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:23 | |
Yeah. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
And on your own? | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Yeah. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:29 | |
You weren't lucky when Kate died. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
I met her. I knew her. We spent time together. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
We had Flora. That was lucky. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:38 | |
Being married to John for God knows how long. Was that lucky? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:44 | |
Gosh. Wow. Well, of course, she started out in the state sector | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
all those years ago. In the '80s. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
When we were both young enough and stupid enough to imagine this | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
country was capable of achieving something resembling social justice. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:04 | |
Why's he dressed like James Bond? | 0:05:04 | 0:05:05 | |
Why are you dressed like James Bond? | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
Oh, there's a car coming to take us to London. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
I did tell you. Judith's... | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
She's been nominated for the Carnegie Medal for children's fiction. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
Are you ready? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:16 | |
Him and his little friend better not mess up the house while | 0:05:16 | 0:05:20 | |
we're out. They do know that, don't they? | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
Course they do. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
HE MOUTHS | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
-Huddersfield? -I know! | 0:05:30 | 0:05:31 | |
But that's like the dark side of the moon and shit. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
It's not, no. It's not. No. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
Well, that's well nice. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:37 | |
-I did it because of you, Olga. -Me? | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
Partly. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:41 | |
Going on about me being a sharp-elbowed, entitled, | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
over-privileged - which I'm not, by the way - rich bitch. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
So that's it? | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
If I want to see you, I have to go to...Huddersfield. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
So you didn't register the bit where I explained that I'm taking | 0:05:51 | 0:05:54 | |
over a really tough school? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
That I'm giving up my...my also demanding, yet at the same time | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
no longer challenging, job in the private sector | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
in the hope that I can | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
make a real difference to someone one day. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Like you told me I should. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:05 | |
Yeah, whatever, that's quite cool. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
I'm not going till Christmas. I still have the house to sell | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
and look, this was... It was nice but it was never | 0:06:09 | 0:06:14 | |
meant to be... | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
Was it? | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
CHILD BABBLES | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
Here, Mummy. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Oh! | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
She says that to everybody. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
Ah! | 0:07:00 | 0:07:01 | |
Wow. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
What do you think? | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
It's... | 0:07:08 | 0:07:09 | |
-It's different. -Morning! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
-WORKMEN: -Morning! -Good morning. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
Well, your granny and Alan like it. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
Course, there's a lot wants doing. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
We said that when we looked round, didn't we? | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
Oh. Did it smell damp when we looked round? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
Shall I offer to make these fellas a cup of tea? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:38 | |
Yeah. Shall we let them do a bit of work first, and then? | 0:07:38 | 0:07:42 | |
Sure, I just thought, they'll have been driving for an hour or so. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
I'm sure they're used to it. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
I'm sure they're used to driving much further. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
Well, never goes amiss, keeping workers happy. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
Absolutely. They are, however, being paid. Quite handsomely. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
They won't be. | 0:07:58 | 0:07:59 | |
It'll be the company, creaming the profits. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Well, maybe when we've found the kettle, maybe then. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:06 | |
We've got ours! | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
It's always the last thing to pack, first thing to unpack. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
First rule of flitting, knowing where the kettle is. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
These, here, are mouse droppings. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
That is so unhygienic. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:21 | |
I'm afraid it's just me. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
I can handle that. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:34 | |
Effortlessly, I appear to have pissed everyone off. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
Oh, it went well, then? The move? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
What're we drinking? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
Oh, the usual shite. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
I'm thinking about becoming a lesbian. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Oh, Christ, that's rough. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
You will notice I, too, am alone. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
Is there anything I can help you ladies with? | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Ladies? Who's he trying to kid? Who you trying to kid? | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
Yes, thank you. A smaller table and a wine list. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
"Damp? What do you mean, damp? I've just paid £1,700 | 0:09:02 | 0:09:06 | |
"for a highly detailed, exhaustive survey, there is no damp." | 0:09:06 | 0:09:10 | |
Then that was it, she was obsessed. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:11 | |
We're going to have to rethink the bedroom scenario. I'm sorry. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
Come again? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:15 | |
It's all under the window in that room we've been allocated. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
You can feel it. You can see it. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
-"Allocated"? -Alan will back me up. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
Yeah, Mum. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:23 | |
Mum, no-one's been "allocated" anything. You chose it, | 0:09:23 | 0:09:27 | |
the first time we looked round. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
It is... It does seem... | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
I do think you've... We've possibly got | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
a problem in there with the...the... the... | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
It's damp. We can't sleep in there, with my chest. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
Your chest? What's wrong with your chest? | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
I had bronchitis when I was 17. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
You're 78! | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
Well...yes. And that. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
So my mother has suddenly decided she's Emily Bronte and she's | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
got galloping consumption and she's on her last legs. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Obviously, there's your dad's heart condition to consider, | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
which is a concern, and so we find ourselves confronted with | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
a logistical conundrum. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
The only other bedroom's that tiny one at the far end, | 0:10:07 | 0:10:11 | |
so it'd make more sense if me and Alan had the one you're in. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
Oh, the other big one. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
And you had the smaller one. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Seeing as there's only one of you, at the moment. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
Nice. Thoughtful. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
I resisted the urge to point out that if they actually took | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
the plunge and bought a place of their own, instead of | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
persistently hedging their bets between your house and mine, | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
it'd make the world a much simpler place. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
Why? Why did you resist? Why didn't you say it? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
And then Greg turned up with Flora, | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
two days earlier than planned, because this new woman he's got... | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
-Bridget. -Bridget! | 0:10:39 | 0:10:40 | |
..she's basically allergic to anyone under the age of 18. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
It's fine. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:46 | |
It's not fine, I wanted to help out. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Is she all right? | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
She's just... | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
What is up with her? | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
Bridget? She's just one of those women that's... | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
What? | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
-You know, bonkers. -Hm. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
They were supposed to have her the whole weekend till I got settled in, | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
so that didn't happen, | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
and then Lawrence turned up, with John and the entourage. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:12 | |
Oh, I love it, Caroline! | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
I'd love to live in the middle of bloody nowhere without anyone | 0:11:14 | 0:11:18 | |
to piss me off every five minutes. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Course, there's a lot that needs doing. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
But I imagine you're on top of all that. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
Would you like some tea? | 0:11:27 | 0:11:28 | |
Tea? Are you sure you're not too busy? | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
It's not working out, him living with me and Judith. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:41 | |
He's not happy, he wants to come here and live with you. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
Well, how the hell's that going to work? | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
He can't commute to Harrogate every day | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
and he can't change schools, not now, he's just about to sit his A2s! | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
He's only got two terms left. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
Yes, well, maybe you should've thought about that when you decided | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
to change schools. | 0:11:58 | 0:11:59 | |
Look, y-y-you're going to have... | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
I'm starting this new job after Christmas, I've got Flora to | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
think about, I've got my mother and Alan to worry about. I can't start | 0:12:08 | 0:12:12 | |
panicking about making sure he gets to Harrogate and back every day. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
I know it's not ideal, but it's Judith, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
she's not... She could so easily fall back off the wagon. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:20 | |
He would have to be at the train station in Halifax at six o'clock, | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
every morning, day in, day out. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
That means getting up at five. It's a two-and-a-half-hour journey, | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
both ways, and he'd have to change at Leeds. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
I have looked into it, I'm not happy that he's not living with me. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
And yet, you were the one who decided to move here. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
All right, I'll talk to her again. But he can stay here now, | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
can't he, for the holidays? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
What is John doing with Judith? | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
I don't know. Who knows? Who cares? Anyway, sod that. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:54 | |
Tell me why you're thinking of becoming a lesbian. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
Oh. It's Robbie. It's ever since he's retired. | 0:12:56 | 0:13:01 | |
I can't stand it. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
I didn't know he'd retired. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:04 | |
A week last Friday. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
Oh. OK. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
And now he's just there...all the time. All the time. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
And if I go out, he follows me. Round t'farm. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:15 | |
I went upstairs for a wee the other day and he goes, | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
"Where you going?" And, like, suddenly every move I make | 0:13:18 | 0:13:22 | |
is accountable. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:23 | |
I made a cake on Tuesday - which you may think isn't very me, | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
but it's not unheard of - and he's all, | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
"What you done that for?" | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
You know, like I'd just constructed a weapon of mass destruction. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:34 | |
"Because I felt like it! It's a f-f-f...bloody cake!" | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
It's like being cornered. In your own... | 0:13:40 | 0:13:44 | |
head. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:45 | |
-Wow. -I know. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
-But he's not here now. -Oh. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
Just as we were getting ready, getting changed, | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
we were in the bedroom. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
Why don't you wear that dress? | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
What dress? | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
That green one. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:00 | |
Because I'm wearing this. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
I like that green one. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:03 | |
You wear it, then. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:04 | |
And that must've touched a nerve. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
He must have hang-ups about his masculinity or something, | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
God knows, because it nose-dived into meltdown at that point. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
Just leave me alone! All of you! | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
I'm sick of the lot of you! It's take, take, take! | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
"Me, me, me!" Nag, nag, nag, all the time, every day! | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
Well, enough! I've had enough! | 0:14:22 | 0:14:23 | |
You can all f-f-f... | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Do one. And don't follow me to the restaurant! | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
You go to another restaurant, one I'm not in. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
What...did you say to her? | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
I just... I don't know. I just suggested wearing a dress. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:47 | |
Her, not me. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
OK. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
Yeah. Big. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
I didn't realise. No, I mean, I did. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:58 | |
At the wedding. When you... | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
When we... But I guess I thought... | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
you'd moved on. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
-What did we say at the wedding? -Well, when you... | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
didn't want to go through with it and we decided | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
it was easier to go through with it than to pull out...then, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
on the day, because you could always... | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
..get divorced. Afterwards. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
We did say that. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
We did say that. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
So has everything...been OK? | 0:15:33 | 0:15:37 | |
Up until...? | 0:15:37 | 0:15:38 | |
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ish. God, I'd forgotten. That would've been bad. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:44 | |
On the day. To pull out. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
I hadn't forgotten, I'd just... | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
Buried it. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:51 | |
I was worried I'd feel guilty, I was worried I'd get obsessed. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:56 | |
-With guilt. About Eddie. -But you haven't? | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
-No. -So, that's good, isn't it? | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
Yeah. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
Hm... | 0:16:08 | 0:16:09 | |
Yeah. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
Good morning. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
Alan. How's it going? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
It's... | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
damp. In one of t'bedrooms and we think we've got mice. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:43 | |
Vermin. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:44 | |
Yeah. It'll be smashing once she's... | 0:16:44 | 0:16:48 | |
we've sorted everything out. There's a lovely view. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
She's in a funny mood, Gillian. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
Oh. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
He's driving me up the wall. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
He seems busy enough now. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
I keep having to set him tasks! | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
It's like having a six-year-old in the school holidays, | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
finding him activities so he's not under your feet. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
He'll settle down. It takes a bit of getting used to. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
Retirement. It's not as easy as people think. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
-Especially if you've been very active. -Active? | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
He's spent the last ten years sitting in a patrol car, eating pies. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
Well, involved, then. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:29 | |
He needs sympathy, not sarcasm. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
Unbelievable. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:33 | |
Did you have a nice evening? | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
It was just me and Caz. Cazza. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
Yeah, I gathered. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:43 | |
So Celia's driving her up the wall, is she? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:46 | |
They're as bad as each other. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
I, erm... | 0:17:50 | 0:17:51 | |
I've got summat to tell you. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
Proceed. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:58 | |
It's delicate. Well, sensitive. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
And then there's things I want you to understand | 0:18:02 | 0:18:06 | |
before you go flying off the handle. So... | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
What've you...? What's...? What? | 0:18:10 | 0:18:11 | |
Me and Celia, we've altered our wills. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
I mean, obviously it's something we should've done a while back, | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
after we got wed, but we didn't. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Which was my fault, I didn't want to think about it | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
-and so we've only just got round to it, what with flittin'. -OK. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
So, obviously... | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
before. Before I knew I was ever going to get wed again, | 0:18:32 | 0:18:37 | |
I'd left it all to you | 0:18:37 | 0:18:38 | |
and it will still come to you. Eventually. One way or the other. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:43 | |
But I want you to know what's changed and then, | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
we're clear. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:47 | |
OK. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
What we've decided, way we've arranged it, | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
is - whichever one of us goes first, me or Celia - other one'll | 0:18:53 | 0:18:57 | |
get everything. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:58 | |
For the duration of their lifetime and then... The point is, | 0:18:58 | 0:19:04 | |
when the last one goes, whatever's left | 0:19:04 | 0:19:08 | |
will be divided, equally, between you and Caroline. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
OK. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:17 | |
So it...will come to you. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
But I just want Celia to be comfortable, that's all. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:27 | |
If owt happens to me. And she wants same for me. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
So, that's it. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
What about our Gary? | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
Oh, I'm not leaving him anything. He'd not expect it, would he? | 0:19:35 | 0:19:40 | |
Why did you think I'd fly off the handle? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
Hang on a minute. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:47 | |
Divided equally? | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
Yeah. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:52 | |
But that's... You can't both have brought exactly the same | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
amount to the party as each other. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Yeah. Well, no, we didn't. Not exactly, but not far off. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:03 | |
So... I'm not starting splitting hairs | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
and I'm not starting making a record of everything we spend. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
You'll do very well out of it at finish, so think on. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:18 | |
OK. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
And, erm... | 0:20:22 | 0:20:23 | |
..the other thing... just so you know... | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
..is we want to be buried together. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:34 | |
We'd be cremated. But then, our ashes, | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
we'd like to be in the same grave. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
You can do that, we've looked into it. And Celia's got a plot. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:46 | |
Above Elland. It's been in her family for years. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
So, not have your ashes scattered with me mum? Up Blackley? | 0:20:51 | 0:20:57 | |
Yeah. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:02 | |
Not. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:05 | |
Can you drive me into Halifax if you're not doing anything? | 0:21:13 | 0:21:17 | |
He's gone off to Gillian's in the Lexus, and it's an emergency. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
Why, what's happened? | 0:21:21 | 0:21:22 | |
Maureen Raynor's fractured her hip. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:24 | |
-Who? -Oh... | 0:21:24 | 0:21:25 | |
she was three years below Alan and me at Elland Grammar. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
-You don't know her. -Do you? | 0:21:28 | 0:21:30 | |
No, not really. But the point is, | 0:21:30 | 0:21:32 | |
she was giving her Madame Arcati with the Halifax Players, | 0:21:32 | 0:21:36 | |
and obviously she can't do it on crutches. Well, not with | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
the same chutzpah, so they've asked me to step in. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:43 | |
Hang on. Have you ever done any acting? | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
I played the Angel Gabriel in the infants. Do you know? It was | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
three years before I realised he was supposed to be a fella. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
-Yeah. -There was an article in the Mail. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
Or The Guardian - one or the other - about keeping your brain active. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:59 | |
You know, when you're getting on. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Alan does his crosswords, so I thought I would audition for a play. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:06 | |
This was last summer when we were stopping up at Gillian's. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
You know, learning lines keeps your neurons... | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
-..neurinating. -Really? | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
Anyway, I didn't get the part. Not that one - Lady Bracknell. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:22 | |
I should've done, dozy buggers. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
Anyway, it looks like they've remembered me, | 0:22:25 | 0:22:29 | |
because now they're in hot water, I've had the call. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:33 | |
William's dug me out his copy. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
So why do we need to go to Halifax right now? | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
Because they've got a rehearsal in half in an hour at... | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
the Pentecostal Church Hall, Skircoat Moor Road, Halifax. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:44 | |
They need me there. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
The first night's just after Christmas, I've only got | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
a week to learn everything. | 0:22:48 | 0:22:49 | |
-You're kidding! -No. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
I'll get my car keys. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
Are you going to put a bit of make-up on? | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
I'm only dropping you off. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
You could put a brush through your hair as well. | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
I thought we were in a rush to get there? | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
Yes, but just in case. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:02 | |
-Of? -You know... | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
you meet someone. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:05 | |
What, when I'm dropping you off? | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
Well, you never know. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
A nice fella. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
I do know, Mum. They're thespians, they like am-dram. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
The chances of me meeting anyone I have anything in common | 0:23:14 | 0:23:16 | |
-with is remote. -They're not stupid, you know. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
No, but they do like dressing up and pretending to be other people. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
So, chances are, it probably won't happen. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:23 | |
I think you spend too much time with Gillian. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
How? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:27 | |
Because you're starting to talk like her. | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
It's bollocks. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
Robbie. | 0:23:33 | 0:23:34 | |
Robbie! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:37 | |
-Robbie? -Jesus! -Shit! Shit! Robbie! | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
Oh, my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
Robbie? | 0:23:44 | 0:23:45 | |
That is a lot of blood. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
OK, OK. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:48 | |
Get in the Landy. Let's get in the Landy. OK? | 0:23:50 | 0:23:53 | |
Up, get up. Come on! | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
Dial 999, now! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
Phone. Phone. Erm, phone. | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
I've got it, I've got it, I've got it! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:00 | |
Bloody hell, Gillian! | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
I know, I know, I know! | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
Come on! | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
So the thing is, | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
the thing I was coming in to tell you is that... Well, no, the | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
first thing I was coming in to say is that I'm sorry about last night. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:18 | |
About going off in a strop and meeting Caroline on my own. | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
I am... I am sorry. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:22 | |
It's just, you know, I'm struggling with this | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
retirement thing as much as you are. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
But, then, the thing is, this morning, just now, | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
me dad comes in and he goes, "I don't want you biting my head | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
"off, I don't want you getting all arsey like you normally do, but, | 0:24:32 | 0:24:36 | |
"when I die, we've discussed it, and I'm leaving all my money to Celia." | 0:24:36 | 0:24:40 | |
Oh! | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
I know! They've changed their wills and everything. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
There they are! | 0:24:45 | 0:24:46 | |
It'll all be her idea, she'll have talked him into it, | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
the way she has him twisted round her little finger. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
I don't mind, I wouldn't care, but with his heart, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
chances are, you know, and she knows this, it'll be | 0:24:54 | 0:24:58 | |
him that goes first. And does she need all that money? | 0:24:58 | 0:25:01 | |
Any more than he'd need all hers if she went first? | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
Which I bet she doesn't, you watch. She'll have it all planned. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
And what bothers me is, | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
if he does go first, which, you know, | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
how do I know she WILL leave me half of everything when she goes? | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
How do I know she won't just leave it all to Caroline? | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
How do I know she won't just spend it? | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
It could be years and then she could lose all her | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
marbles and I've got no guarantees, have I? | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
Presumably it's stipulated in the will, if that's the arrangement. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
And anyway, Caroline wouldn't do that to you, would she? | 0:25:25 | 0:25:29 | |
I don't feel so good. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
SIREN BLARES | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
You are, you're a snob. You're an intellectual snob. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:46 | |
You think you're better than other people. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
-Break a leg. -Well, you're not. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
Will you need picking up? | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
This is typical you, this is. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
Anything I do, anything I'm interested in, | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
you pour cold water on it and take the... | 0:25:57 | 0:26:01 | |
piss. You're as bad as your dad. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
Oh, hello! That old chestnut. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
Well, I'll say one thing for your father. At least he wasn't a... | 0:26:09 | 0:26:13 | |
(lesbian.) | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
Don't let the door hit your arse when you step out. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
You've got that off Gillian. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
You really don't have to lower your voice in front of Flora - ever - | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
to say the word lesbian. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
All right? Have you got your mobile? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:26 | |
Oh, I'm not going in. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
-Why? -Because you're spoiling it! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
No, I am not. Don't you lay this on me! | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
If you wanted to go in, you'd go in. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
What if I'm not very good? | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
You'll be brilliant. Better than any of that lot. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
Do you think? | 0:26:46 | 0:26:47 | |
Yes. You're clever. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
If I thought you were going to make a fool of yourself, I wouldn't | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
have brought you. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
I'd have tied you to a chair at home and made you listen to The Archers. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:59 | |
Now, go and see what they're like. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:01 | |
If you're not happy, you don't have to stay. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
Would you want me to come in with you? | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
No. Not looking like that. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:10 | |
Enjoy. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:15 | |
SHE GIGGLES | 0:27:23 | 0:27:25 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
Hi, Gillian. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:32 | |
How is he? | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
They've had to give him a blood transfusion, | 0:27:34 | 0:27:36 | |
they've taken him into an operating theatre. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
-So what's...? -I don't know. I don't know anything! | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
They just whisked him off and told me to wait here. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
Are you all right? | 0:27:43 | 0:27:44 | |
Yeah. Yeah. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
So what happened? | 0:27:46 | 0:27:47 | |
It wasn't my fault. I mean, it was, I shocked him, I made him jump. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:52 | |
But I didn't... It wasn't... | 0:27:53 | 0:27:55 | |
I mean, I know I was complaining about him last night, | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
Robbie, but it wasn't like that (business with Eddie.) | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
OK. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
Did you...? You didn't think that, did you? | 0:28:04 | 0:28:06 | |
No. No. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
It was just... | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
What? | 0:28:11 | 0:28:12 | |
I don't know. When it happened, I panicked. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:16 | |
I coped, I called an ambulance and we seemed to be on top of everything, | 0:28:16 | 0:28:21 | |
even though he was bleeding a lot, and it was just as we were | 0:28:21 | 0:28:25 | |
arriving, in the ambulance, I was in the ambulance with him, and... | 0:28:25 | 0:28:30 | |
this paramedic, he was joking, he was trying to keep it light. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:35 | |
I think it was his way of trying to say, "It's not as bad as it looks." | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
He goes, "Oh, another millimetre | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
"and it would've been the carotid artery | 0:28:41 | 0:28:43 | |
"and then you'd have been in trouble!" | 0:28:43 | 0:28:44 | |
And that... It shook me, | 0:28:44 | 0:28:46 | |
because... | 0:28:46 | 0:28:47 | |
I can understand why that shook you, Gillian. | 0:28:47 | 0:28:50 | |
No. No. No. It's not what you think. | 0:28:50 | 0:28:53 | |
What? | 0:28:56 | 0:28:58 | |
It's stupid. It'll sound stupid. | 0:28:58 | 0:29:01 | |
It won't. | 0:29:01 | 0:29:02 | |
About a month ago, two months ago, in the barn, again... | 0:29:02 | 0:29:08 | |
..he got smacked on the head by a log. | 0:29:10 | 0:29:13 | |
He was chopping wood and stacking it | 0:29:13 | 0:29:14 | |
in the hayloft, out of the way. | 0:29:14 | 0:29:17 | |
I didn't think a lot about it, then. | 0:29:17 | 0:29:19 | |
I just thought he hadn't stacked it properly and it was loose, | 0:29:19 | 0:29:22 | |
but he would've done, he would've stacked it properly, | 0:29:22 | 0:29:25 | |
and he had a real bump on his head. | 0:29:25 | 0:29:28 | |
Like...somebody whacked him. | 0:29:28 | 0:29:32 | |
And then there was something else as well. | 0:29:32 | 0:29:34 | |
He trapped his finger. This is last summer. | 0:29:34 | 0:29:40 | |
He was hitching up the trailer and it slipped, and it was bad. | 0:29:40 | 0:29:44 | |
Not this bad, but he could've lost his finger. We were in here, in A&E. | 0:29:44 | 0:29:48 | |
And now this! | 0:29:48 | 0:29:49 | |
Some people are accident prone. My granny was, my mum's mum. | 0:29:51 | 0:29:56 | |
No, that's not...! | 0:29:56 | 0:29:57 | |
-She was terrible. -It's not... | 0:29:57 | 0:29:59 | |
What? | 0:30:01 | 0:30:02 | |
And it isn't just me. Me dad's said it. Before now. | 0:30:02 | 0:30:05 | |
There's something... A funny feeling in that barn. | 0:30:07 | 0:30:11 | |
OK. | 0:30:15 | 0:30:17 | |
So...what are you saying? | 0:30:17 | 0:30:20 | |
I'm saying, it's a notion I've had for a while. | 0:30:20 | 0:30:22 | |
But now it's like three things and it's really f-f...obvious. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:26 | |
He's still in there. Eddie. And I know that sounds mad. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:30 | |
Caroline, I know there's no such thing, but what if there is? | 0:30:30 | 0:30:34 | |
I think you're upset. Is there a machine? | 0:30:36 | 0:30:38 | |
Do you want some tea? | 0:30:38 | 0:30:39 | |
It's not mad. I talk to Kate all the time. | 0:31:04 | 0:31:08 | |
I imagine she's there and part of me thinks... | 0:31:09 | 0:31:12 | |
who's to say she isn't? First time it happened... | 0:31:12 | 0:31:16 | |
I didn't consciously conjure her up, I just found myself talking to her. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:20 | |
It was in the bedroom. On the morning of her funeral. | 0:31:20 | 0:31:23 | |
I think when someone's died like that... | 0:31:26 | 0:31:30 | |
Death's always a shock, but when it's sudden and it's someone | 0:31:30 | 0:31:33 | |
who just shouldn't have gone yet, it's... | 0:31:33 | 0:31:35 | |
You think this is all in my head? | 0:31:37 | 0:31:39 | |
No, that's the point. | 0:31:39 | 0:31:41 | |
I do - as my mother would say - think there is more | 0:31:41 | 0:31:45 | |
between heaven and earth than any of us ever really know about. | 0:31:45 | 0:31:49 | |
But... | 0:31:51 | 0:31:53 | |
But when you talk to Kate... | 0:31:53 | 0:31:55 | |
..that's good, surely? It's nice. | 0:31:56 | 0:31:59 | |
Mm. | 0:31:59 | 0:32:01 | |
This is evil. | 0:32:02 | 0:32:04 | |
And it's not just me, that's what's weird. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:08 | |
If it was just me, fine, I'm happy to be considered mental. | 0:32:08 | 0:32:12 | |
But me dad won't go in that barn after dark. | 0:32:13 | 0:32:16 | |
Dog won't go in there at all. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:17 | |
I think Eddie | 0:32:19 | 0:32:21 | |
knows we've got married, me and Robbie, and he doesn't like it. | 0:32:21 | 0:32:24 | |
And this time... This time, what that paramedic said... | 0:32:26 | 0:32:29 | |
..Robbie could've been dead. | 0:32:31 | 0:32:32 | |
And then there was Dave, he's playing Charles. | 0:32:42 | 0:32:46 | |
He's 57 and he has a bad back. | 0:32:46 | 0:32:49 | |
Charles is meant to be an athletic 40. | 0:32:49 | 0:32:52 | |
He said to me, "Do you think I'd get away with it, Celia?" | 0:32:52 | 0:32:56 | |
And I'm going, "Of course you will," | 0:32:56 | 0:32:58 | |
lying through my teeth like a silly bugger. | 0:32:58 | 0:33:00 | |
I said to Gerald, "You do know Charles is supposed to be an | 0:33:00 | 0:33:05 | |
"athletic 40, don't you?" | 0:33:05 | 0:33:08 | |
He says, "It's am-dram, darling, you can't always get the men." | 0:33:08 | 0:33:11 | |
Which one's Gerald again? | 0:33:11 | 0:33:13 | |
ALL: The director. | 0:33:13 | 0:33:15 | |
Oh, and he's playing Dr Bradman as well. He's very versatile. | 0:33:15 | 0:33:20 | |
Janice, she's the one playing Elvira, the ghost, she said, | 0:33:20 | 0:33:26 | |
"You've saved our bacon, Celia." | 0:33:26 | 0:33:28 | |
They were on the verge of cancelling the whole thing. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:32 | |
-Did I tell you that? -Mm. | 0:33:32 | 0:33:35 | |
Only, they're already sold out on the Friday night | 0:33:35 | 0:33:38 | |
and on the Saturday night. | 0:33:38 | 0:33:39 | |
So... | 0:33:41 | 0:33:43 | |
So... | 0:33:43 | 0:33:44 | |
Are we going to the hospital this evening, then, or what? | 0:33:46 | 0:33:49 | |
I don't think there's any point in us all piling in, | 0:33:49 | 0:33:52 | |
he'll still be groggy from his anaesthetic. | 0:33:52 | 0:33:54 | |
Yeah, but you don't want him thinking nobody cares. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:58 | |
You did have a massive bust-up with him last night. | 0:33:58 | 0:34:01 | |
No, really? I'd forgotten(!) | 0:34:01 | 0:34:03 | |
Listen, I'd better get back. | 0:34:05 | 0:34:07 | |
Thanks for coming. | 0:34:09 | 0:34:10 | |
It's fine. Ring me. | 0:34:10 | 0:34:11 | |
-If you... -Yeah. | 0:34:11 | 0:34:12 | |
We'll leave you to it as well, love. | 0:34:12 | 0:34:14 | |
There's lots that still wants sorting out at the new place. | 0:34:16 | 0:34:19 | |
Yes, the damp and the vermin. | 0:34:19 | 0:34:22 | |
And I've got all these lines to learn! | 0:34:22 | 0:34:25 | |
You're going to have to help me, Alan. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:27 | |
You will give our love to Robbie, won't you, love? | 0:34:27 | 0:34:30 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:32 | |
We'll see you up there, love! | 0:34:45 | 0:34:46 | |
Sure. | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
I, erm... | 0:34:55 | 0:34:57 | |
I told our Gillian this morning about changing us wills. | 0:34:57 | 0:35:02 | |
How did that go down? | 0:35:03 | 0:35:05 | |
Fine. | 0:35:05 | 0:35:06 | |
Fine. I told her about... | 0:35:06 | 0:35:10 | |
being buried in the same grave as well. | 0:35:10 | 0:35:12 | |
And? | 0:35:13 | 0:35:14 | |
She just went very quiet. | 0:35:14 | 0:35:16 | |
I'm surprised she didn't say owt just now, to be honest. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:19 | |
I think there'll be repercussions when she's dwelt on it. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:24 | |
BIRD SQUAWKS AND FLAPS WINGS | 0:36:03 | 0:36:06 | |
I'm not scared of you, so you can shit off. | 0:36:16 | 0:36:20 | |
Pillock. | 0:36:24 | 0:36:25 | |
I'm sorry. I am sorry. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
Then going on at me in t'Land Rover while I were bleeding to death. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:31 | |
-I was panicking. -I'm sorry. -Oh, don't say that. | 0:36:31 | 0:36:33 | |
I was trying to distract you. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:36 | |
And last night? | 0:36:37 | 0:36:39 | |
Yeah, I'm sorry about last night. | 0:36:39 | 0:36:41 | |
What were all that about? | 0:36:41 | 0:36:42 | |
Just stuff getting on top of me. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:45 | |
Well, don't let it. | 0:36:45 | 0:36:47 | |
Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say because you're a man. | 0:36:47 | 0:36:49 | |
And men never let stuff get on top of 'em, so it doesn't affect them. | 0:36:49 | 0:36:54 | |
You mean, men don't get things out of proportion, | 0:36:54 | 0:36:56 | |
so it doesn't affect them. | 0:36:56 | 0:36:58 | |
Phrase it as you will. | 0:36:58 | 0:36:59 | |
Does it hurt? | 0:37:03 | 0:37:04 | |
I'm on painkillers. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:06 | |
You're going to be laid up all Christmas, aren't you? | 0:37:08 | 0:37:10 | |
I'll be as fit as a fiddle in a few days. | 0:37:10 | 0:37:12 | |
You're going to be lolling in front of the telly, demanding cups of tea. | 0:37:12 | 0:37:16 | |
Oh, God. | 0:37:16 | 0:37:18 | |
-What now? -Christmas Day. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:20 | |
Ten people plus two babies round for dinner and you're not going to | 0:37:20 | 0:37:24 | |
be fit to do even basic fetching and carrying. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:27 | |
Raff and Ellie will help you. | 0:37:27 | 0:37:29 | |
On what planet? | 0:37:29 | 0:37:30 | |
Caroline will help you. | 0:37:30 | 0:37:32 | |
Selectively, when she feels like it. | 0:37:32 | 0:37:33 | |
Your dad and Celia will help you. Everybody'll muck in! What's up? | 0:37:33 | 0:37:38 | |
Why you so niggly about everything? | 0:37:38 | 0:37:40 | |
-Because... -What? | 0:37:40 | 0:37:42 | |
Everything. | 0:37:42 | 0:37:43 | |
What though? We should be celebrating. | 0:37:43 | 0:37:47 | |
I've retired, we're expanding the farm. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:52 | |
Life's good. Life's never been better. | 0:37:52 | 0:37:55 | |
-Well, today's been a bit weird, but... -Yeah. | 0:37:58 | 0:38:01 | |
Well, then. We'll have a nice Christmas. | 0:38:01 | 0:38:04 | |
It wasn't just about him changing his will. | 0:38:12 | 0:38:14 | |
What I was annoyed about with me dad, this morning. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:18 | |
He wants to be buried with her, Celia. | 0:38:18 | 0:38:21 | |
They both want to be cremated and then their remains buried together. | 0:38:22 | 0:38:28 | |
So that's as in, not scattered up Blackley with me mum. | 0:38:30 | 0:38:33 | |
Oh. | 0:38:34 | 0:38:35 | |
Yeah, but... | 0:38:39 | 0:38:40 | |
..does it really matter? Once you're dead, you're dead, aren't you? | 0:38:42 | 0:38:47 | |
Who knows? | 0:38:49 | 0:38:50 | |
You can't learn all those lines in ten days. | 0:38:54 | 0:38:55 | |
-Who can't? -I couldn't. | 0:38:55 | 0:38:57 | |
Course you could. | 0:38:57 | 0:38:59 | |
I hope you're all going to come and see it. | 0:38:59 | 0:39:02 | |
Hey, bring Angus. | 0:39:02 | 0:39:03 | |
How can I bring Angus? Angus is 60 miles away! | 0:39:03 | 0:39:06 | |
Everybody who matters is 60 miles away. | 0:39:06 | 0:39:08 | |
He can get on a train. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:10 | |
You think he wants to get on a train to come and watch | 0:39:10 | 0:39:13 | |
a load of old people twatting about on stage? | 0:39:13 | 0:39:15 | |
Oi, oi! | 0:39:15 | 0:39:16 | |
None of us asked to be here. | 0:39:16 | 0:39:18 | |
You've inflicted it on us because you're selfish. | 0:39:18 | 0:39:20 | |
That... Whatever I've done, that is no reason to be rude to your granny. | 0:39:20 | 0:39:25 | |
I can't believe I'm never going to go back inside our house in | 0:39:29 | 0:39:32 | |
Harrogate ever again. | 0:39:32 | 0:39:33 | |
You're homesick. That's all, it's normal. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
It'll pass. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:37 | |
We grew up there. Our whole life was there. | 0:39:38 | 0:39:41 | |
And now it's a new big adventure. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:44 | |
You want to embrace it. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:46 | |
I never said a proper goodbye. | 0:39:47 | 0:39:49 | |
To who? | 0:39:49 | 0:39:50 | |
My bedroom. | 0:39:50 | 0:39:52 | |
Oh, my God, is he crying? He's crying! | 0:39:52 | 0:39:54 | |
-No, I'm not! -No, that is priceless. | 0:39:54 | 0:39:56 | |
-Tell him to shut up. -One for Facebook, I think. | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
-Shit-for-brains. -Beano boy. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
-Hey! -Are you six?! | 0:40:00 | 0:40:02 | |
Are you? | 0:40:03 | 0:40:05 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:40:08 | 0:40:11 | |
Have you not set up your Zbox? | 0:40:14 | 0:40:17 | |
Xbox. | 0:40:17 | 0:40:18 | |
-Eh? -Xbox. | 0:40:18 | 0:40:20 | |
That's what I said. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:22 | |
You want to set up your Xbox, then you'll feel right at home, | 0:40:22 | 0:40:26 | |
both of you. | 0:40:26 | 0:40:27 | |
Cavalry's here! This is Olga, my new girlfriend. | 0:40:27 | 0:40:32 | |
-Where is everybody? -They're, erm... | 0:40:32 | 0:40:34 | |
Surprise. | 0:40:37 | 0:40:39 | |
Don't. | 0:40:39 | 0:40:40 | |
Sorry, the boys are here and my mum and Alan. | 0:40:42 | 0:40:45 | |
I wasn't... | 0:40:47 | 0:40:48 | |
I didn't... Didn't know you were coming. | 0:40:48 | 0:40:50 | |
Yeah. It's a surprise. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:52 | |
-I didn't order this. -It's a house-warming present. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:55 | |
Right, OK. Er...thank you. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:58 | |
Yeah. I nicked it from the basement. | 0:40:58 | 0:41:01 | |
You didn't! I can't accept stolen... | 0:41:01 | 0:41:02 | |
God, you are so easy to wind up! | 0:41:02 | 0:41:05 | |
Right. OK. Well, it's been nice seeing you. | 0:41:06 | 0:41:10 | |
I'm busting for a wazz. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:11 | |
Is it all right if I use your lavatory? Your lavoratoire. | 0:41:13 | 0:41:17 | |
Your...Lavoratoire Garnier. | 0:41:19 | 0:41:22 | |
Yeah, I thought I'd die a widower, but you see, Alan, | 0:41:31 | 0:41:34 | |
you're not the only one for whom hope springs eternal. | 0:41:34 | 0:41:38 | |
Ta. Here she is! Come here, love, say hello to everyone. | 0:41:38 | 0:41:41 | |
-You all right? -You can be my best man if you want, Alan. | 0:41:41 | 0:41:44 | |
We've only just met. Outside. | 0:41:44 | 0:41:46 | |
But it was love at first sight and you can't fight fate. | 0:41:46 | 0:41:49 | |
Not that we could see each other right well through t'drizzle, but | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
one flash of lightning and, yeah, I'm a very happy man. | 0:41:52 | 0:41:58 | |
I like him, he's mental. | 0:41:58 | 0:41:59 | |
Olga! | 0:41:59 | 0:42:01 | |
Oh, God, babies. | 0:42:01 | 0:42:03 | |
Hello! | 0:42:03 | 0:42:05 | |
That's Olga, you nitwit, she delivers wine | 0:42:05 | 0:42:08 | |
from the wholesaler's in Harrogate. | 0:42:08 | 0:42:10 | |
Have we set a date? | 0:42:10 | 0:42:11 | |
I'm not doing a right lot tomorrow. | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
You've come a long way, love. | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
Olga. Isn't that Russian? | 0:42:15 | 0:42:17 | |
Yeah, my mum were really into Olga Korbut, | 0:42:17 | 0:42:19 | |
when she were, like, ten. When the 1972 Olympics were on. | 0:42:19 | 0:42:23 | |
Oh, very good. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:24 | |
Eh, how you doing? You all right? | 0:42:24 | 0:42:26 | |
Would you like some wine? | 0:42:26 | 0:42:29 | |
Rude not to. So, are you William? | 0:42:29 | 0:42:31 | |
The bathroom's upstairs. | 0:42:34 | 0:42:35 | |
Sure. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
Don't forget you're driving. | 0:42:37 | 0:42:39 | |
Oh, yeah, traffic was bad. And the weather is shit...crap...bad. | 0:42:39 | 0:42:42 | |
Sorry. Probably best leave it till tomorrow. Now that I'm here. | 0:42:42 | 0:42:45 | |
We've got damp. And vermin. | 0:42:47 | 0:42:50 | |
It's the country, I did tell you. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:52 | |
I told her, I said, I warned her. | 0:42:52 | 0:42:54 | |
I'm sure they have folk who deliver wine round here, | 0:42:55 | 0:42:58 | |
without you making Olga trail all this way. | 0:42:58 | 0:43:00 | |
Why don't you tell Harry about this play that you're doing? | 0:43:01 | 0:43:04 | |
I wouldn't have thought it was up Harry's street. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:06 | |
Celia's playing Madame Arcati | 0:43:06 | 0:43:08 | |
in Blithe Spirit, with the Halifax Players. | 0:43:08 | 0:43:12 | |
Oh! She's the one who sees dead people. | 0:43:12 | 0:43:14 | |
Well, no, she communicates with t'other side. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:17 | |
Well, that's topical. | 0:43:17 | 0:43:20 | |
Is it? How? | 0:43:20 | 0:43:21 | |
Well, it's why I'm here. | 0:43:21 | 0:43:23 | |
I was thrilled when Alan told me you'd bought this place, | 0:43:23 | 0:43:25 | |
Caroline, because you do know that this house, your house, | 0:43:25 | 0:43:28 | |
is haunted by none other than Matthew Normanton? | 0:43:28 | 0:43:31 | |
Right-hand man to King David himself. | 0:43:31 | 0:43:34 | |
-Haunted? -King David? Which one's he? | 0:43:34 | 0:43:36 | |
Who's Matthew Normanton? | 0:43:36 | 0:43:38 | |
King David Hartley. | 0:43:38 | 0:43:39 | |
The Cragg Vale Coiners! | 0:43:39 | 0:43:41 | |
-Who? -It's fascinating, you'll be fascinated. They were all hanged. | 0:43:41 | 0:43:45 | |
At York. | 0:43:45 | 0:43:46 | |
For counterfeiting coins. This is the 1780s. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:51 | |
They devalued the currency of the entire country, | 0:43:51 | 0:43:54 | |
-they were so successful. -How? | 0:43:54 | 0:43:56 | |
They clipped the edges off the coins, | 0:43:56 | 0:43:58 | |
melted down the clippings down, made more coins. | 0:43:58 | 0:44:00 | |
Does that work? | 0:44:00 | 0:44:01 | |
Not now, it wouldn't. | 0:44:01 | 0:44:03 | |
But it did then. Well, till they got caught. | 0:44:03 | 0:44:06 | |
They were like the Mafia. | 0:44:06 | 0:44:08 | |
Nasty, very nasty, but very successful. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:11 | |
And this was their stomping ground. | 0:44:11 | 0:44:14 | |
Yeah, we used to have rogues and murderers devalue the currency, | 0:44:14 | 0:44:17 | |
now Brexit lot does it for us. | 0:44:17 | 0:44:19 | |
So...how do you know this place is haunted? | 0:44:19 | 0:44:23 | |
This is where he was caught, Matthew Normanton. | 0:44:23 | 0:44:26 | |
They hunted him down like a dog. | 0:44:26 | 0:44:29 | |
This is after he went on t'run after him and Robert Thomas murdered | 0:44:29 | 0:44:32 | |
William Dighton on Bull Close Lane, Halifax. | 0:44:32 | 0:44:35 | |
Is he making all this up? | 0:44:35 | 0:44:36 | |
No! Is he buggery! But I didn't know that this was the house, though, | 0:44:36 | 0:44:42 | |
where Matthew Normanton were caught. | 0:44:42 | 0:44:44 | |
Yeah. Apparently. | 0:44:44 | 0:44:46 | |
So, who's William Dighton? | 0:44:46 | 0:44:48 | |
The fella the Mint sent to investigate. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:50 | |
He had King David arrested and then King David's brother Isaac, | 0:44:50 | 0:44:54 | |
he got these two to murder William Dighton. | 0:44:54 | 0:44:57 | |
It were all very high-octane stuff. | 0:44:57 | 0:44:59 | |
B-But how-how do you know this place is haunted? | 0:44:59 | 0:45:02 | |
It's only a story. | 0:45:02 | 0:45:04 | |
Well, no, it's not, it's well documented. | 0:45:04 | 0:45:07 | |
Yes, but the ghost bit is only a story. | 0:45:07 | 0:45:10 | |
Well, he's been seen more than once. | 0:45:10 | 0:45:12 | |
-Where? -Here. | 0:45:12 | 0:45:13 | |
Yeah, but where? | 0:45:13 | 0:45:15 | |
Don't start putting lurid ideas into gullible p... | 0:45:15 | 0:45:18 | |
into people's heads! | 0:45:18 | 0:45:20 | |
Fair enough. | 0:45:20 | 0:45:21 | |
I want to know. | 0:45:21 | 0:45:22 | |
So do I. | 0:45:22 | 0:45:24 | |
No, no, your mother's right. I don't want to upset folk. | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
Tell us! | 0:45:27 | 0:45:28 | |
Well, apparently, they wouldn't let him in, you see. | 0:45:31 | 0:45:37 | |
So apparently, gone midnight, his face appears pressed against | 0:45:37 | 0:45:43 | |
one of these downstairs windows. | 0:45:43 | 0:45:46 | |
All contorted, greenish hue, screaming to be let in. | 0:45:46 | 0:45:52 | |
I know somebody who's reckoned they've seen it. | 0:45:54 | 0:45:56 | |
You remember Joe Sunderland? | 0:45:56 | 0:45:58 | |
One of his cousins, they used to farm up here. | 0:45:58 | 0:46:00 | |
This is years ago. | 0:46:00 | 0:46:01 | |
Which window? | 0:46:01 | 0:46:02 | |
I've no idea. But the story is, | 0:46:02 | 0:46:06 | |
he only appears...before a death. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:10 | |
THUNDER RUMBLES | 0:46:10 | 0:46:11 | |
I wonder how Robbie is. | 0:46:13 | 0:46:15 | |
Why didn't you do any research before you bought the stupid place? | 0:46:15 | 0:46:18 | |
Speaking as a doctor, of science, this is all nonsense. | 0:46:18 | 0:46:24 | |
It's highly entertaining and no doubt very well researched, | 0:46:24 | 0:46:26 | |
but nonetheless... | 0:46:26 | 0:46:28 | |
THUNDER CRASHES | 0:46:28 | 0:46:29 | |
THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER | 0:46:29 | 0:46:30 | |
It's only a surge in power! It's all right! | 0:46:30 | 0:46:33 | |
It happens all the time over at our Gillian's. | 0:46:33 | 0:46:35 | |
Your trip switch is gone, that's all! | 0:46:35 | 0:46:37 | |
-LAWRENCE: -Ooh-ooh! -WILLIAM: -Ridiculous house! | 0:46:37 | 0:46:39 | |
You can shut up! | 0:46:39 | 0:46:40 | |
-ALAN: -Where's your box with all your switches in? | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
I know this. It's actually somewhere really obvious. | 0:46:42 | 0:46:44 | |
-WILLIAM: -So that's helpful(!) -Oh, my God! Whose is that green face | 0:46:44 | 0:46:47 | |
at the window, horribly contorted in a silent scream? | 0:46:47 | 0:46:49 | |
You'll be laughing on t'other side of your face one of these days, lad. | 0:46:49 | 0:46:53 | |
(Olga. Olga.) | 0:47:04 | 0:47:06 | |
(Olga.) | 0:47:07 | 0:47:08 | |
Ohh... | 0:47:08 | 0:47:10 | |
Olga, come on, you've got to go, you've got to go back to Harrogate. | 0:47:11 | 0:47:15 | |
You've got deliveries to make, it's Christmas in a few days, | 0:47:15 | 0:47:19 | |
people will need their, erm... | 0:47:19 | 0:47:22 | |
alcohol. | 0:47:22 | 0:47:23 | |
Shit. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:25 | |
I did tell you not to open another bottle. | 0:47:25 | 0:47:27 | |
It wasn't just me. There was loads of us. | 0:47:27 | 0:47:30 | |
Can I make you some breakfast before you set off? | 0:47:30 | 0:47:34 | |
No. | 0:47:34 | 0:47:35 | |
No, you've got stuff to do. I've got to get off. | 0:47:37 | 0:47:39 | |
My brother will have one of his tantrums if I'm late in. | 0:47:39 | 0:47:42 | |
Can I take this with me? | 0:47:42 | 0:47:43 | |
-Sure. -I'll bring the mug back. | 0:47:43 | 0:47:45 | |
Don't worry about the mug. | 0:47:45 | 0:47:46 | |
I'll post the mug. | 0:47:46 | 0:47:48 | |
No, keep the mug, we've got too many mugs. | 0:47:48 | 0:47:50 | |
Well, I'm sorry if I inflicted myself on you. I just... | 0:47:51 | 0:47:55 | |
I wanted to bring you a present. | 0:47:55 | 0:47:57 | |
Thanks for that. | 0:47:57 | 0:47:59 | |
It was very kind. | 0:47:59 | 0:48:00 | |
Thanks. | 0:48:10 | 0:48:12 | |
Call me, if you change your mind about shit. | 0:48:12 | 0:48:16 | |
I mean, I realise that you probably won't, but should the urge strike, | 0:48:16 | 0:48:19 | |
don't fight it. | 0:48:19 | 0:48:20 | |
Right. | 0:48:20 | 0:48:22 | |
William's nice. | 0:48:22 | 0:48:24 | |
Thank you. | 0:48:25 | 0:48:27 | |
You know, you're a really easy person to like, to begin with, | 0:48:29 | 0:48:32 | |
but then it becomes like... quite hard work. | 0:48:32 | 0:48:35 | |
Yeah. I know. You're not the... | 0:48:35 | 0:48:38 | |
..and you won't be the last, either. Probably. | 0:48:40 | 0:48:43 | |
You have a good Christmas. | 0:48:45 | 0:48:47 | |
Thanks again for the wine. | 0:48:47 | 0:48:49 | |
Yeah. Oh, and good luck with the school. | 0:48:49 | 0:48:51 | |
Did you sleep? | 0:49:24 | 0:49:25 | |
Not really. Is the heating on? | 0:49:25 | 0:49:28 | |
Yeah, believe it or not. I need to get the boiler serviced. | 0:49:28 | 0:49:32 | |
I knew that, it was on the survey. | 0:49:32 | 0:49:35 | |
Should've done it before we moved in. | 0:49:35 | 0:49:37 | |
Yes, love. I've had a lot on. | 0:49:38 | 0:49:40 | |
Yeah, I know. I get that. | 0:49:40 | 0:49:42 | |
Which is why it seems like a weird decision to sell up and take | 0:49:42 | 0:49:45 | |
on this mad job in a horrib... | 0:49:45 | 0:49:48 | |
Difficult school. And who the hell is Olg...? | 0:49:48 | 0:49:51 | |
Is she still here? | 0:49:51 | 0:49:52 | |
No, she's just gone. Just now. | 0:49:53 | 0:49:56 | |
I thought you thought she was interesting. | 0:49:59 | 0:50:02 | |
I was being polite. | 0:50:02 | 0:50:03 | |
She was an ill-advised foray into... | 0:50:07 | 0:50:10 | |
..God knows. | 0:50:13 | 0:50:15 | |
And she is interesting, actually. | 0:50:18 | 0:50:19 | |
There is slightly more to her than meets the eye. | 0:50:19 | 0:50:22 | |
She owns that wine company, her and her brother. They inherited it | 0:50:24 | 0:50:30 | |
off their parents. | 0:50:30 | 0:50:31 | |
She just...doesn't seem to take life very seriously. | 0:50:33 | 0:50:40 | |
And that... might have seemed attractive. | 0:50:40 | 0:50:44 | |
Briefly. | 0:50:45 | 0:50:46 | |
You know, I was amazed. | 0:50:52 | 0:50:55 | |
When you told me you were leaving Sulgrave Heath. | 0:50:56 | 0:50:59 | |
I thought you loved that school. | 0:50:59 | 0:51:00 | |
I did. | 0:51:00 | 0:51:02 | |
And I thought you weren't supposed to make any big decisions... | 0:51:02 | 0:51:06 | |
for, like, a year after a bereavement. | 0:51:06 | 0:51:09 | |
It's been more than a year. | 0:51:09 | 0:51:12 | |
Not much more. | 0:51:12 | 0:51:13 | |
And you still feel bereaved. You told me so last time I phoned you. | 0:51:15 | 0:51:19 | |
Well, why didn't you say something then? | 0:51:24 | 0:51:26 | |
I suppose I always assume you know what you're doing. | 0:51:31 | 0:51:34 | |
Come on. | 0:52:01 | 0:52:02 | |
How long have you got? | 0:52:16 | 0:52:17 | |
Oh, a couple of hours. They're rehearsing while three, so... | 0:52:17 | 0:52:21 | |
I thought I might pop into Halifax, do a bit of Christmas shopping. | 0:52:21 | 0:52:24 | |
-What can I get you? -PHONE RINGS | 0:52:24 | 0:52:26 | |
That's you. | 0:52:26 | 0:52:27 | |
Eh? | 0:52:27 | 0:52:28 | |
Oh! | 0:52:28 | 0:52:30 | |
It's Celia. | 0:52:33 | 0:52:34 | |
Hello? | 0:52:34 | 0:52:35 | |
You'll never believe. Gerald's had a stroke. | 0:52:35 | 0:52:38 | |
-Who? -Yeah, last night. | 0:52:38 | 0:52:40 | |
Janice has stepped in to direct, but we've no-one to play Dr Bradman. | 0:52:40 | 0:52:44 | |
Oh, well, I don't know anyone who... | 0:52:44 | 0:52:48 | |
So I said you'd do it. | 0:52:48 | 0:52:49 | |
-Me? -'Oh, you'd be perfect.' | 0:52:49 | 0:52:52 | |
-I can't act! -What's happened? | 0:52:53 | 0:52:56 | |
Surely they've got other folk? | 0:52:56 | 0:52:58 | |
Apparently not. | 0:52:58 | 0:53:00 | |
And it's such fun, Alan, and everyone's so pleasant, | 0:53:00 | 0:53:04 | |
'I'm sure you'd enjoy it.' | 0:53:04 | 0:53:06 | |
I can't start learning lines at my age. | 0:53:06 | 0:53:08 | |
'Don't be so soft. Of course you can!' | 0:53:08 | 0:53:11 | |
Anyway, he hasn't got that many lines. | 0:53:11 | 0:53:14 | |
You can make half of it up, that's what I do. | 0:53:14 | 0:53:16 | |
'As long as you get the gist across.' | 0:53:16 | 0:53:19 | |
I don't... I don't think it's my sort of thing. | 0:53:19 | 0:53:21 | |
Go on wi' you! | 0:53:21 | 0:53:22 | |
Shut up. | 0:53:22 | 0:53:24 | |
It's only acting, poncing about on stage. What's happened? | 0:53:24 | 0:53:26 | |
Well, if we don't get anybody, | 0:53:26 | 0:53:28 | |
then the whole thing is going to fall through | 0:53:28 | 0:53:31 | |
'and it'll be a disappointment.' | 0:53:31 | 0:53:34 | |
And they've sold all these tickets. | 0:53:34 | 0:53:37 | |
'Well, will you think about it?' | 0:53:37 | 0:53:39 | |
What have you got to lose? | 0:53:39 | 0:53:40 | |
I mean, apart from your dignity and your self-respect. | 0:53:40 | 0:53:43 | |
Right, bugger it, I'll do it. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:45 | |
Really?! | 0:53:45 | 0:53:46 | |
Alan says he'll do it! | 0:53:46 | 0:53:49 | |
Oh, wonderful. And he has acted before? | 0:53:49 | 0:53:51 | |
Erm, yes... | 0:53:51 | 0:53:52 | |
Yes. You've acted before, haven't you, Alan? | 0:53:52 | 0:53:55 | |
-Well, no. -Yes, yes, he's acted before. | 0:53:55 | 0:53:58 | |
Anyway, you need to get over here now. | 0:53:58 | 0:54:00 | |
-Now? -There'll be a copy of the play here for you. | 0:54:00 | 0:54:03 | |
Right, well, I'll... | 0:54:03 | 0:54:05 | |
be there as soon as I can. | 0:54:05 | 0:54:07 | |
Super! Bye! | 0:54:07 | 0:54:09 | |
Why? | 0:54:12 | 0:54:13 | |
The things we do for love, eh? You pillock! | 0:54:14 | 0:54:18 | |
He's in there. I've known he was in there for years, only I've convinced | 0:54:21 | 0:54:24 | |
myself I was being stupid. | 0:54:24 | 0:54:26 | |
-In the barn. -Yes! | 0:54:26 | 0:54:27 | |
-What fella in the barn? -She just makes up stories with him. | 0:54:27 | 0:54:30 | |
You don't fancy doing this play instead of me, do you? | 0:54:30 | 0:54:34 | |
-EXAGGERATED VOICE: -He's been working...a bit too hard lately. | 0:54:34 | 0:54:39 | |
I can't act, any more than you can. | 0:54:39 | 0:54:41 | |
You need to have more of a manner, Alan. | 0:54:41 | 0:54:43 | |
These are sophisticated people, they live in Kent for goodness' sake. | 0:54:43 | 0:54:48 | |
He's bringing a ouija board! We're going to speak to Matthew Normanton. | 0:54:48 | 0:54:51 | |
Is there anybody there? | 0:54:51 | 0:54:53 | |
-Oh, shit! -Did you feel that? -People better not be messing about. | 0:54:53 | 0:54:56 | |
That was when I met Olga. | 0:54:56 | 0:54:58 | |
-Hi. -So I invited her in. | 0:54:59 | 0:55:01 | |
You could make a real difference! | 0:55:01 | 0:55:03 | |
And one thing led to another. | 0:55:03 | 0:55:05 | |
I've got this thing that I need to tell you. | 0:55:05 | 0:55:06 | |
-What happens in these stories? -Nothing. | 0:55:06 | 0:55:09 | |
Someone is with us. | 0:55:09 | 0:55:10 | |
-Have you done this before, Granny? -Maybe this was meant to happen. | 0:55:10 | 0:55:13 | |
Stop being weird, Mum. | 0:55:13 | 0:55:15 | |
Are you a spirit of the departed, passed over from the other side? | 0:55:15 | 0:55:19 | |
-We should never have got married. -That's just... -He doesn't like it. | 0:55:19 | 0:55:22 | |
Spirit, spell out your name for us. | 0:55:22 | 0:55:26 | |
I'm not sure I want to do this any more. | 0:55:26 | 0:55:27 | |
We're on, everyone! | 0:55:27 | 0:55:29 | |
Get off me hat! | 0:55:29 | 0:55:30 | |
Sorry, we have to go in now. | 0:55:30 | 0:55:32 |