Rules of the Game Moving On

CAR HORN

-MEN CHANT:

-One, two! One, two, three!

One, two, three, four! FIVE NIL!

One, two! One, two, three!

One, two, three, four! FIVE NIL!

One, two! One, two, three!

One, two, three, four! FIVE NIL!

-ALL CHANT:

-Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go!

CHEERING

Hey, easy, tiger!

Jim, did you see the way I went through their centre half?

Mate, that was Premiership.

-Even your Steven would have struggled out there.

-Too right.

Easy on the bevvy. Got training tomorrow night.

He's stolen the show He's better than his bro

Dave Far-row, Dave Far-row!

Come on!

He's stolen the show He's better than his bro

Dave Far-row, Dave Far-row!

"MATCH OF THE DAY" THEME ON TV

OK. Time to watch the professionals!

Come on!

Don't you want to see your Steven?

I know what he looks like, Robbie, thanks.

BANTER IN OTHER ROOM CONTINUES

"MATCH OF THE DAY" THEME ON TV

Come on, Son!

..back in t'changing room...

-THEY CHANT:

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

FOOTBALL ON TV

Don't.

WILD CHEERING FROM IN BAR

-Stevie!

-Farrow!

Eh, your kid scored again!

FANS ON TV CLAP AND CHANT FOR STEVIE

REF BLOWS FULL-TIME WHISTLE ON TV

HUBBUB

See that goal your kid scored?

-It was mint!

-Yeah?

Shh-shh!

INTERVIEWER: "Another comprehensive win, another goal for you..."

Everyone, back in.

"Erm... You know, every game matters,

"every bit of silverware is important.

"We're a club that likes to win trophies.

"The Champions League'd be fantastic,

"it's a dream of mine to be the best in Europe,

"but we know how important the Premiership is,

"and as a fan as well as a player,

"it's important that we keep sight of that."

FOOTBALL CROWD ATMOSPHERE

FANS CHANTS FOR STEVIE ECHO

ANGUISHED GROAN

Dad, is that Stevie Farrow's brother?

QUESTION ECHOES

RHYTHMIC CLAPPING

Early doors, was it?

-Usually midnight before the boxers come in.

-Your lucky day.

-Ow! You trying to sew it up or cut it off?!

-Don't tempt me!

-Have you done this before?

-We are trained, you know.

-So were the SS.

-Be a brave little soldier and let me do my job.

Thought you were supposed to be a caring profession?

When you've patched up one drunk, you've patched them all.

I'm not drunk. SHE SNIFFS

-Of course you're not.

-I had a few beers with the game.

This cut itself, then, did it?

Phone number so soon? You don't hang around, love.

Clean and dry, 10 days.

Make an appointment.

In your own time...

Service with a smile.

DIALOGUE MUTED

COINS CLATTER

Bit early for you, isn't it?

Miss the step again?

-Mum, can you...?

-You need to sort yourself out, David.

-Look at the state of you.

-I can't do it myself.

-When are you going to get a job?

-Mum!

I'm sick of running round after you.

Please!

Do it yourself.

Didn't they have anything?

Yeah, if I was a brainless idiot who wanted to bore myself to death.

Don't they have a job centre for gifted people?

Well, who'd want to spend 12 hours a day with their hand down a bog,

-or stood on a conveyor belt labelling boxes?

-Someone with bills to pay?

It's soul-destroying, seeing the best they've got to offer and the peanuts they pay.

-Where are you going?

-To put me hand down the bog.

Ours is the only one in our street don't clean itself!

MAN: Oi, Steve!

Let you back in, then?

Family privilege, Kayce. Still waiting for the ring?

-Steven buys me jewellery all the time.

-Not the piece that matters.

I don't need a rock to prove that he loves me.

Rings aren't about love, darling,

they're about bagging that big cheque when he leaves you.

Says the relationship expert.

Come to think of it,

when was the last time you actually went out with anyone?

-I'm very choosy.

-You mean the girls are.

-I prefer women with brains.

-Careful, Dave.

If I walk away, you'll be on your own. Take a look around.

There's not one girl in here that'd even look at you.

Sure, all the girls love a bad lad.

Tell you what they don't like?

A loser.

-Flatterer!

-Move over, Dave.

The big boys'll be in soon.

That was a sitter, Bro. I'd have nailed it, no problem.

-You're rubbish.

-Should have been ten more, shouldn't it?

I could hear Robbie from the stands when I missed that header.

Why do they call them stands when everyone's sat down?

-Go on, then, what's the story?

-He was probably drunk.

-Footy, you know the score.

-Yeah, right.

-There, were you?

I'd put my house on bevvies being involved.

-You mean Ste's house.

-At least he's got one.

Where are you living, Dave?

-Kaycee!

-Mummy still washing your underpants?

Well, I haven't got a cash cow to milk when it suits me, have I?

-Haven't you?

-Just keep it down you two, yeah?

Remember where you are.

Go and get yourself another beer, Dave. It's free.

Don't mind if I do, Kayce.

Same again, Dave?

-Me? Winding him up?

-It's just our Dave, isn't it?

I'm trying. But you know what he's like,

and you're always sticking up for him! Why?

Hiya, mate. Yeah, come on. Want a picture? Is this your dad here?

-STEVE:

-What's your name?

Do you play footy? Good lad!

I think you've had enough, Bro.

-Me? I'm just relaxing, Ste.

-Yeah, relaxed as a newt.

-Can we go? Table's booked.

-Yeah.

-Great, I'm starving.

-You are joking!

-They don't let drunks in.

-Oh, yeah, I forgot, it's Wags only.

-No, it's grown-ups.

-Give it a rest you two, eh?

Come on Ste, I've had nothing all day.

Ring Childline.

Time to get you home, Bruv.

I'm coming with you.

Cab, kettle, bed, yeah? Seriously...

Come on.

HE RETCHES

Oh, you pig!

Mum, I don't suppose you could...?

Last time, honest. The stitches are coming out today.

You still not talking to me?

Be gentle, I'm very sensitive.

Well, mind you don't faint, we've just had the floor cleaned.

-Any problems?

-Apart from our goalie being out for the semi?

With the hand.

Apart from not being able to use it?

-Shoelaces are undone.

-Are they?

-Not got a girlfriend to do them up for you?

-Situation vacant.

Hard to believe, isn't it?

-On account of you being a divvy?

-Nah, too many candidates.

Someone only a mother could love.

-She's not talking to me.

-Cos you're a divvy.

-You're really funny.

-You remind me of me.

-I'm not funny at all, then.

Listen, about the last time I was here...

Sorry?

Made me feel like an idiot.

You don't need me for that.

Deserved it, though, I must have looked a state.

You reckon?

He's gone now anyway. Different fella here now.

That's what they all say.

And I binned that aftershave you didn't like.

Gone back to the pound shop.

-No more fighting, then?

-Nah, that score's settled.

How do you know he won't come after you?

The other fella?

Because he's embarrassed about it,

lashing out at nothing,

hurting people,

hurting himself, and he's thinking, "Come on, sunshine,

"stop being a muppet,

"especially in front of really good-looking women,

"start acting your age for once."

HISS Ow!

Sorry, thought I was going to throw up, there.

Congratulations!

You are officially discharged.

A phone number this time, surely?

Ohh, I said the website people were coming again today, didn't I? Told you to keep out of the way.

What is it this time, "Stevie Farrow's Top Ten Chocolate Bars"?

Dave!

What? I want to watch.

Action!

We always knew Steven was special,

-from the day he was born.

-A star came up from the East...

-We didn't have very much...

-Just a stable, and some straw.

All he'd ever ask for at Christmas, was a new ball.

And an apple and an orange.

Though it was hard, you know, when his dad died,

but he just battled through, made him more determined.

Have you got that Hovis music off the telly?

I always knew he'd make it.

She's psychic, me mum.

And he could have gone anywhere after the big clubs came in for him.

-Barcelona, Milan...

-Scunthorpe, Accrington Stanley...

But he wanted to come back here,

-close to his mum...

-Bring his washing home!

Success has not spoiled him.

-Still tight...

-He just likes being with his old mates...

Cos they don't mind the cross dressing...

Cut!

What?

What are you doing back here?

-Complications.

-What complications?

Must have been that superbug. What's it called?

-I think you'll find this is stalking.

-I've got good news.

Learned to tie your own shoelaces?

You've been chosen at random, from thousands of nurses, to go on a date with me.

-You said it was good news?

-Chance of a lifetime, one night only.

-And it's part of your hypocritical oath to accept.

-I'm washing my hair.

-Every night for the next century.

-Best restaurant in town.

-In my opinion...

-Sorry, I'm allergic.

-To what?

-Divvies.

-There are women who'd kill for an offer like this, you know.

-All doing life, yeah.

Look, maybe I'm insane to be turning down a fella as perfect as you, and maybe I'll wake up one day

and realise I made the biggest mistake of my life, but, just so there's no misunderstanding,

I'll say it very slowly.

I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last... man... on... earth.

Comprende?

Mashed, it was, like a hamburger.

Imagine putting your leg in a blender and flicking the switch for 10 seconds.

Well, that's what it looked like.

-What do you fancy?

-Something vegetarian!

Play it again, Sam.

Actually, he never said that.

You what? Humphrey GoKart? Course he did.

No, it's just "Play it". And, anyway, it's Ilsa who says it first.

"Play it once, Sam.

Play 'As Time Goes By'."

-That was brilliant.

-I'm on earlies.

I suppose you've got the day off?

Yeah, wasn't sure what we'd be doing tonight so...

No! I wasn't assuming we'd...

I just didn't know where we'd end up.

Clubbing or something...

So where do you work, anyway?

I'm, er, "resting" right now.

Kept busy with our Ste, though.

Full-time job looking out for him, everyone wants a piece.

Sure you don't want any more?

Doesn't look like there's much left.

-You sure you've had enough?

-Have you?

-Can we have the bill please, mate?

-We're going Dutch.

No way. It's my shout.

I'm earning, you're not.

If anything, I should be the one paying. I'd feel better.

And I'd feel crap.

-Thanks, mate.

-Thanks.

Modern women, eh?

Er, that's 45 each.

What have I got?

-I've only got 42.

-It's fine.

Still time for a nightcap somewhere.

-I think you've had enough.

-We only had the one bottle. What?

You had three large vodkas before I even got there. I saw the bill?

They must have added them, the sneaky little...

First date nerves, what can I say?

You sure about that?

-Just here, please.

-What's the damage?

It's not about the money, Dave.

Am I going to see you again, or what?

Idiot.

Four days in a row you've sat down with me. Fell out with your mates?

Trying to stay out the pub, mum.

-What's her name?

-PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Hope you like the venue.

I feel a bit overdressed.

We could go somewhere different, somewhere...without a bar.

We can sit in the car if you like?

-It's warmer.

-No, I'm fine, honest.

I like the cold.

-I'm just glad you called.

-I nearly didn't.

You still narked about them drinks?

What, being on a date with a guy who needs to be half cut to get through the evening with me?

I told you, I was nervous.

-I know the signs.

-What signs?

-That wasn't nerves, that was habit.

-I had a few drinks, so what?

-I know what I'm talking about.

So do I. Look, if you think I've got a problem, then so has everyone else I know.

-Just because you're a nurse, you think...

-My dad's an alcoholic!

I'm sorry.

-Look, Dave, I just need you to be honest with me.

-A gorgeous girl agrees to go out with me.

What fella wouldn't need a few snifters to calm himself down?

-You hid it.

-I wasn't hiding anything, you saw the bill.

I didn't know I had to declare every sip.

Ruth, I promise you,

I don't have a problem.

I just needed to ask,

I needed to be sure.

You don't know what it's like, living with it.

No, I don't.

But I'm not your dad.

People who drink, they're good at lying,

-you never know what the truth is.

-Hold your horses, we've only been out once.

Look, I really like you,

but I'd rather walk away now before I start feeling...

I really like you too.

Just give us a chance, eh?

I've never told anyone about him before.

I hate secrets,

but he's mine.

You've still got him, though.

What use he is.

You ever talk to him?

You should.

Before it's too late!

Can I have a suck on your flake?

I can't believe you just did that.

I deserve a kiss for that.

You've got it on my nose now!

# Time after time I think Oh, Lord, what's the use?

# Time after time I think It's just no good

# Sooner or later in life The things you love, you lose

# But you've got the love I need To see me through

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# You got the love

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... #

-Do we have to go?

-I thought you wanted to take a look at this girl?

-Yeah, and her blind dog.

-Be nice, babe.

But he's always making a show of us. Remember the last time?

Yeah but you don't exactly help, do you?

-You always know exactly what buttons to press.

-Oh, so it's my fault?

No, I'm saying you enjoy winding him up.

-Sometimes it's the only way to get through the night. I don't mean it.

-He reckons you enjoy it.

Well, I don't. But I'm not going to sit there and take it, am I?

You should be sticking up for me more. If you loved me...

Look, let's just try and have a nice evening.

We don't want this Ruth girl thinking she's walked into the Addams family.

Well then promise you'll keep him in line.

-And when he starts...

-He'll be fine.

-Steven!

-OK, OK, I promise.

I could get used to this.

Don't get used to it.

So you been here before, Ruth?

I'm always working,

don't really get out much.

-Shouldn't you be on lemonade or something?

-One won't harm him.

-He knows when to stop.

-Game's not for five days, kid.

And besides, it's the final!

-Deserves one drink at least!

-I'm dead proud of you, baby.

You know what? Took us so long, I thought it'd never happen.

-You're going to come, aren't you?

-She can't make it.

I don't really know anything about football, sorry.

You don't have to. But it'll be a great night.

Think of all the free champagne.

That works for Dave.

-Yeah, I might.

-I thought you said you didn't like football?

Lady's prerogative to change her mind, mate, innit?

Cheers.

-You eating that, or playing a tune on it?

-It tastes funny.

It's just a bunch of leaves.

You've hardly touched it.

You're such a fussy eater.

I'm not!

Always counting the calories.

-I eat.

-So do I. Like a horse.

Nothing wrong with a healthy appetite!

And you look great on it.

Mine's all right, too. Thanks for asking.

So the man says,

"But when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

SHE LAUGHS

You must have heard that one.

I could tell you worse.

-Yeah?

-Mmm-hmm.

You want to watch this one, kid.

-You know what they say about nurses...

-No, what do they say?

-Relax, Dave, he's joking.

-I'm perfectly relaxed.

-Will be in a minute.

-What's up, Kaycee? Not centre of attention for once?

-Hey!

-That's your problem, isn't it?

-They love each other really.

-Pass the vinegar.

-Get it yourself.

-Best mates.

To Dave, for finding someone daft enough to go out with him.

Thanks!

Look after her, mate, before she realises what a big mistake she's made.

I intend to.

Where did you two meet? Police cell?

Kebab shop?

At work, actually,

-in casualty.

-Figures.

-What?

I said it figures!

Kaycee!

And remind us, what first attracted you to the millionaire Steven Farrow?

-Bro!

-I didn't even know who he was, actually.

-Oh, you are joking!

-Dave!

Remember what we said?

Just wind your gob in, kid, yeah?

I'm sorry about this, they're being like kids.

Makes a nice change to have another adult to talk to.

-So go on then, how many?

-I don't know!

-See that, Kaycee?

-You're a nurse!

-Just because I'm a nurse doesn't mean I'd know.

-Who's more likely to know than a nurse?

-An osteopath?

-Chiropractor?

-Here we go.

-I've never needed to know how many bones there are in the body.

-They're drawn to each other.

Seriously? That's a disgrace. I'm never coming to your hospital.

-I hope you don't have to.

-You and me, Kaycee. We've got to work harder.

-Somebody help me.

-What time is it? I'm not used to being out this late.

-Virtue has its own reward.

-You all right, kid?

Garcon! Mooro vino, muchos gracias.

-The night is young, David(!)

-Sitting next to you, love, it's never-ending.

-I don't think we need another bottle.

-Shall we just get some coffees?

Only if it's Irish.

-Actually, I'm quite tired...

-Yo! I said over here, mate!

-Stop shouting!

-For God's sake!

-Quiet!

Mr Farrow, please, I must ask you to keep the noise down. The other diners...

-You're being quite aggressive.

-Yeah, we're sorry.

-Don't apologise for me!

-Dave!

You want to know why it's aggressive? Because the service is crap!

-You deaf or what?

-You have had enough!

-Oh, you talking to me now, are you?

-I think we should go.

-I think you've got quite a catch there, Ruth.

-Kaycee!

Remember our promise?

I'm sorry, sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

-I know, mate, we're done.

-I'm not!

-Just put everything on my tab, yeah?

I'm paying for this.

-Come on!

-I said I'm paying!

-It's sorted, all right?

-What with?

What the hell do you think you're playing at!? Get outside!

What is your problem?

What is wrong with you two! For God's sake!

Us two? You mean you two!

Last chance.

All right then! You!

YOU'RE the problem! Remembering which girl you're with.

-What are you on?

-Oh, come off it, you couldn't keep your hands off her.

What am I? A piece of meat?

-Are you joking?

-Taxi!

And you? You must have seen me coming. You planned this all along, haven't you?

-Just leave her alone, Dave.

-Leave them both alone, babe.

Weren't interested at first, were you? An idiot to sew up and ship off. You said so yourself!

And that's where I should have left it!

So why stick around, eh? As if I didn't know.

Step forward, Golden Boy!

Because I actually thought we could have had something.

Oh, I know what you thought you could have had!

-Let her go!

-Get your hands off me!

-Another one bites the dust.

-Oh, you really want it, don't you?

-Don't even think about it!

Look, just make sure she gets home all right, babe.

I'm not a babysitter, Steven.

Just do it, Kace! I'm not in the mood!

There's a good little girl.

So this is how it's going to be, is it?

Forever.

When it comes down to it...

..you will always pick him.

-You happy now?

-Get lost, will you?

I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what this is about.

What was it, eh? Couldn't bear the fact that someone liked me more than you?

This isn't about Ruth. You've been like this for years.

-Oh, cos you know what it's like to be me, don't you?

-I'm bored of you.

We all are. You're not a kid any more. we can't keep tiptoeing around you like some five-year-old.

What would you know? You're never there!

Too busy swanning about with your famous mates to care about anything else!

You know nothing!

I know enough.

I lost him too.

You think this is about Dad?

You're not the only one who misses him. Every day...

Get the violin!

That's why you drink, isn't it? Less painful.

-Oh, you really are clueless.

-Just look in the mirror, Dave!

You can't go on like this!

You think because you can kick a ball about and you've got a bit of wedge that you're better than me?

Well, you're nowhere close!

Just get over yourself!

Dishing orders out like the big "I am". You're not the boss of me!

Someone needs to be, cos you're doing a rubbish job on your own.

-If my dad could see you now...

-Don't you dare!

-He'd be ashamed.

-I'm warning you!

-He'd be turning in his grave!

CRACK

Steve?

Bro?

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

I'm not being a messenger. You talk to him.

Please, for me.

'I'm only speaking to you cos Mam asked me to.

'It's the last time I'm ever going to do it.

'Impacted double fracture.

'Eight weeks plaster, three months out.

'No final for me...mate.

'You made sure of that.

'Don't ever speak to me again.'

I'm...

Ruth! I know! I know!

Wait, listen! Please!

You heard what I did to our Steven?

I broke his arm! Me! I did that!

I don't know how it happened.

OK, yeah, I do know how it happened, I know exactly how it happened.

You were right about everything.

I've been stupid, I know that. I didn't want to lose you, Ruth.

I want to tell you something. It's important. I've not had a drink since that night, not one.

If I can get through that, I can get through anything, Ruth.

-Ruth?

-Get your hands off me!

Take one.

Yeah, um, Steven's fully fit again now,

and we're all really thrilled that he's been made the new captain of England.

I can't remember it being any other way, really. He's always been a bit of a star.

I remember at school, all the teachers would say,

"well, if you're half as good as your Steven, you'll do OK."

But it wasn't about being good, it was about not being Steven.

It got to the point where I didn't really care how I did at anything.

I know they didn't mean it, but I never felt like I was David Farrow.

I didn't know who that person was.

I was Steven Farrow's brother.

That was my identity.

SFB.

I should have had them initials sewn in my shirt.

With the girls, as well.

They'd ask me my name and I'd tell them, and just like the teachers they'd say "Steven's brother?"

And if I said "yeah", their faces would light up, already plotting.

But if I said "no",

they'd look straight past me,

like I was nothing, not even worth a smile.

I was cleverer than our Ste,

but clever isn't sexy, is it?

'It was something that was mine,

'something Steven had nothing to do with, something I was better at than him.

'Drinking made me forget who I was.

'That's what it does. There's nothing profound about it.

'It's very, very simple.

'When I drank, I wasn't afraid any more, and I'd spent my whole life being afraid.

'Afraid of failure, afraid of letting people down...

'..afraid of the whole journey.

'I felt angry.'

I'm sorry about last night.

'I don't know what at...'

Please talk to me.

'but it was better than not feeling anything at all.

'So I embraced it,

'made friends with it.

'Some friend.

'Drink makes you selfish, cruel...

'and I just couldn't see that the only things I really needed were right in front of me.'

You must be very proud of Steven.

Oh, yes, I am.

But I'll tell you something, I'm even more proud of you.

Come on, son.

'I said I was clever...

'..but not clever enough to work that one out.

'I've broken a lot of things, and some of them will take longer to mend than others.

'Some may never be fixed at all.

'But I'll never stop trying.

'That's a promise.'

# And I've been there before

# But that life's a bore

# So full of the superficial

# Some people want it all

# But I don't want nothing at all

# If it ain't you, baby

# If I ain't got you, baby

# Some people want diamond rings

# Some just want everything

# But everything means nothing

# If I ain't got you

# Yeah

# Some people search for fountains... #

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