Lost Moving On

BRIEF KNOCK

-Hi, Aggie.

-Oh, sorry I'm late, love. Our bleeding Leslie again!

-QUIETLY:

-Sorry!

-It's all right.

Any change?

They don't think he'll be long now.

Then again, they told me two months ago

he wouldn't survive the weekend and he's still hanging on.

He doesn't want to leave you, love.

You wouldn't believe it was the same man, would you?

I mean, just look at him.

Just skin and bone.

It's just a shell, love.

His spirit's just as strong as ever.

Eh, you...

When you finally do get up there...

You'd better give Lenny and my mam

a massive hug from me.

D'you hear me?

You heard from Michael?

He's had to go to London for some big meeting,

he couldn't get out of it.

HE GASPS

You're all right.

You're all right.

You're all right. Mike, we're here.

Mike, we're here, love.

We're here.

We're here with you.

LABOURED BREATHING

You're all right.

You're all right.

PHONE RINGS

Hi, love.

Hiya, Mum.

Just... Just a sec.

Sorry about that, love, I've come out into the corridor.

-Where are you?

-Just on my way to Euston now.

-When's the next train?

-Just after eight, should get me in about 10:30.

How is he?

Still hanging on.

Just.

I'll be there as soon as I can, Mum.

-OK. Right, well, I'd better get back in.

-I'll see you soon. Ta-ra.

Ta-ra, love.

CONTINUOUS BEEP

Oh, no!

No!

NO!

Oh, no!

SHE EXHALES

I still can't believe I wasn't with him at the end.

It happens a lot. You'd be surprised.

I must have been out of that room just for two minutes, that's all.

Don't beat yourself up.

They often wait for loved ones to leave before they feel they can go.

You couldn't have done more for him.

I'm so sorry.

I can't believe he's actually gone.

No more suffering.

Go on, go a bit closer.

-I'm scared.

-What are you scared of?

You know what a wind-up merchant he was.

-I'm half expecting him to jump up or something.

-Don't be daft!

Go on, it's OK.

Bye, Dad.

Only me!

Look what was on the path.

It's a sign, girl.

He's with you.

They're here.

MUTED CONVERSATION

-I didn't even know your Leslie was pregnant again.

-I did tell you.

You never. How many grandkids will that be now?

This'll be number seven. I don't even know why they bother

having them. They just dump them on soft girl here half the time.

-She loves it really.

-Mm!

-What about you?

-Are you seeing anyone?

-No.

-No, no, no. All work and no play for me.

-Tell you what, love.

I wish all my kids were gay.

I might have a bit of bloody peace, then!

Wasn't it an amazing turnout?

Ah, they really did him proud.

GLASSES CHINK

LAUGHTER

No, but the best one...

The best one was when we went to the pictures to see The Exorcist,

-do you remember?

-Oh, wait till you hear this!

-Oh,

how petrified were we leaving that cinema?

So there was no way I was going back to that house on my own.

So I said she could come back to ours.

You know what your dad was like.

Oh, he thought it was hilarious that we were so scared.

So he goes up to bed and we stayed up having a drink and a gab...

After a while, I go upstairs.

And I'm just about to get into bed

when I hear this...

weird scratching sound coming from the wardrobe.

Well, you can imagine me, I completely froze.

Then, the next thing, there's this almighty bang

and both the doors burst open!

-Honest to God, you should have heard her!

-I absolutely...

I swear to God, you could hear her in Outer Mongolia!

And there's your father, your father,

creased up double in absolute hysterics.

Must've been sitting in that wardrobe for hours

waiting for her to go to bed!

-I'm surprised I didn't drop dead on the spot.

-He loved winding her up.

Is it any wonder I'm a nervous wreck?!

I dread to think what mayhem he'll be causing up there now.

God!

Give us that.

Oh, God!

MUSIC: For The Good Times by Perry Como

# Don't look so sad

# I know it's over

# But life goes on

# And this ol' world

# Will keep on turning

# Let's just be glad we had some time

# To spend together

# There's no need to watch the bridges that we're burning

# Lay your head

# Upon my pillow... #

Here y'are, love.

He hasn't been home, you know, since the funeral, Michael.

He's been away in London for a few days with work,

then Frankfurt, then...

-Delhi.

-Oh, he's done so well for himself, hasn't he?

-Mm.

I suppose I should be grateful that he's getting on with his life.

People grieve in all different kinds of ways, you know.

-Yeah.

-How about you?

How have you been?

Oh, you know.

One minute, I think I'm doing OK and the next minute I'm running

out of the shop in floods of tears cos they're playing a sad song.

I wish I could say it gets easier.

I went to see the doctor yesterday.

She wanted to put me on antidepressants.

Whatever gets you through.

I'm heartbroken, I'm not depressed

and I don't want anything just to mask the pain.

I met him when I was 15!

I've never known anything else.

I...

I just can't get my head around the fact that I'm never going to

speak to him again.

What would you say to him if you could?

I...

I'd tell him I was so sorry that I...

wasn't with him at the end.

Who's to say you can't still speak to him?

Remember when Lenny died?

I started going to that Spiritualist Church in town with Josie Kane.

You know what I think about all that.

Yeah, and I felt exactly the same.

Till he came through.

And I can't tell you how moving it was.

I can't believe you've talked me into this.

Come on, it's only a laugh.

I'm supposed to be a good Catholic.

Yeah, so are half the other people in there an' all!

Oh, look...

I know you're scared to come,

but I can guarantee the spirits will be with us tonight.

Vodka and Coke!

Oh, come on. Let's get in there, before you change your mind.

I'd like to welcome you all here tonight.

My name is Doreen Alan and I'm the chair of this spiritualist church.

Tonight, we're joined by Mary Combs, one of our regular visiting mediums.

Now, before we start,

if I could just ask you all to bow your heads in prayer.

Dear Lord, we pray for those who've recently made their transition

back home to the spirit world.

And we wish them well with their progression.

We also remember the animal kingdom, who give us

so much love and devotion and ask so little in return.

And lastly, my friends, ask for healing for yourselves.

For any physical ailment you're suffering from or any

stresses of the mind you're going through.

Ask for healing.

Ask for peace of mind.

Thank you.

Now, any newcomers in tonight?

-Don't say anything.

-Oh, two or three. Now...

If a spirit does come forward for you...

..we just ask you not to talk about it until after the service is over.

I appreciate how exciting it is to get a message...

-MOUTHS: (Strong!)

-..chattering away,

Mary might think she's hearing spirits, when it's just you lot!

We always like to start with a song and tonight,

I've selected hymn number 17.

MUSIC STRIKES UP

Hymn?

# I closed my eyes

# Drew back the curtain

# To see for certain

# What I thought I knew

# Far, far away

# Someone was weeping

# And the world was sleeping

# Any dream will do. #

Hello, good evening, everyone.

OK, so how do I work? Well...

Spirit test us every day and every single way, believe you me.

So sometimes I'll go directly to one person, sometimes I'll get

more collective information and then I'll just push it out

into the congregation and I'll see which of you put up your hand, OK?

Now, remember - it isn't just about the tears that we feel

we need to shed, OK?

It is perfectly fine to have a little laugh and a giggle,

cos I like to bring out that feeling of love

and laughter in people, you know?

Right, should we get started? Ho-ho-ho-ho...

I think we've got some lovely bubbly characters coming through.

In fact, I think the Irish are on their way, to tell you the truth.

Um...

You. You, there, in the furry jacket, yeah. You.

As I said that, did you feel... the connection to the Irish?

No.

Oh, you don't understand it?

No.

I can really feel a connection to Ireland around here.

Um, what about you ladies either side?

-You can understand it?

-My husband's family is from Belfast.

That's it.

You see, initially I was drawn to this lady,

but there was such a strong feeling of Ireland around here.

There's this feeling of needing...

..activity and fun and laughter for you.

Do you know why I'm saying this to you right now?

There's a lovely lady drawing close.

And she's telling me she's a mother. Do you understand?

A mother in spirit. She's standing to your left there.

Ah, look. I can see you're shedding a tear.

She's telling me you've shed a lot more tears than this over

the past few years, haven't you?

She's acknowledging that, right?

And, I... Am I feeling a lung condition?

-Not my mum, no.

-No? You can't take that?

Oh, she's talking about the dishes,

she's saying, "Get those dishes done!"

Do you understand why I'm saying that to you? The sink!

Thought I was looking at my own kitchen, there!

Listen, try and get that done, will you, please?

Cos I'm trying to help release the pressure for you. OK?

God bless.

I mean, who hasn't got a load of unwashed dishes sitting in the sink?

Oh!

But did you see her eyes fill up when she talked about her mam?

The mother who she said had a lung condition when she never?

Well, it can't be easy for her.

With all those different messages coming through from all sides.

SHE SCOFFS

DOOR CLOSES

Hiya, Mum - only me.

-I was beginning to get paranoid.

-Hm?

-I've lost count of the number of messages I've left.

-Oh!

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just...

It's been so mental at work.

Oh...

Look what I found in his wardrobe.

Paid a fortune for that when we were in Prague.

Money well spent, I'd say!

I've lost count of the number of times he got Aggie with it!

Do you remember the wig, as well?

He bought that in Madrid.

He used to buy something daft every time we went away.

That wasn't cheap, either.

When we came home, he told Aggie he'd had a hair transplant,

the silly cow fell for it!

What do you think?

You're as cracked as he is.

-Have you seen much of Aggie?

-Yeah.

Yeah. Actually, I...

She dragged me along to this spiritualist church the other night.

Spiritualist church?

-Mm.

-You're not serious?

Oh, it was just a laugh.

Yeah, if you find exploiting vulnerable, grieving people funny.

I can just imagine what me dad'd say if he was still here.

Well, he's not here, is he?

-So you started sorting through his stuff, then?

-Um...

I've not really had chance.

Well, I'm off at the weekend, I could give you a hand if you like.

I was thinking maybe we could donate his clothes to a homeless

-shelter or something, what do you think?

-I can't really, this weekend.

OK.

When you're ready, just give us a shout.

I'd better get back.

OK. Don't stay away too long.

Yeah. And you...

..stay away from those spiritualist churches, you hear me?

SHE SIGHS

DOOR CLOSES

Right, lady in the middle, there. With the butterflies.

You are surrounded by children, absolutely loads of kids.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-Can you acknowledge where these children are from?

-I work with children.

-You work with them, yeah?

Well, you've got a lovely energy around you.

And the lady who's giving me information, she seems

like an older lady, I wouldn't say a mother, more of a grandmother.

She's been watching you.

And she's been watching the way you've been helping those children

and she's been watching the way you've been, um...

..an effective role model. She's giving me managerial terms here!

Are you a manager or something?

Well, I've just had a promotion, yeah.

Oh, brill!

I'm delighted! Oh, that's fab.

No wonder she's so chuffed.

You know, she showed me one of those football thingies - wahey!

It's funny, the things they show you.

Right.

Now...

Who is the lady who stands in front of the kitchen sink

looking down the garden and daydreaming?

QUIETLY: Sounds like me!

Is that yourself?

I can really feel that.

Yeah, it could be.

You know that song, For the Good Times?

I feel like I want to sing that to you,

but I'll spare you my shocking voice!

Have you been going down memory lane recently?

Just a little bit, yeah.

Yeah.

Those feelings that have been coming over your mind all the time,

they've been making you feel really low.

Well, I want to try and get you to concentrate on the love

side of things and the lessons you've learned to take forward.

Right, now...I'm getting a man.

And he feels like a large man.

I'm not being rude here, I don't mean fat,

I mean this man did proper manual labour.

-That's my... My husband.

-Is he in spirit?

He's telling me that he liked to have a drink after work, "Have a

"nice little drink", he's saying.

That was his "achievement", he's saying.

"That was my luxury, that was my luxury at the end of each day,

"I used to look forward to the end of work

"to going to the pub and having a pint."

Spending time with his friends.

Yeah, and there's a lot of people with him now.

Friends and family that passed a while ago.

So you were there when he passed, right?

Well, I was at the hospice, but I wasn't actually with him, no.

He's telling me something about

the holding of a hand as he passed into spirit?

I promised I'd be with him, but I...

No, no, no. He understands.

He's saying that he knew you were with him in here

and THAT is all that matters.

Please, let go of any more guilt.

OK?

Have you got any idea why they might be showing me computers?

My son's a graphic designer.

Oh, now he's more like his dad, isn't he, than you?

Right chip off the old block, eh?

They didn't see eye-to-eye all the time when he was on earth, did they?

But he wants him to know...

that he couldn't be any more proud of him

and he couldn't love him any more, OK?

-God bless you, love.

-Thank you.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's all we've got time for.

I'm really sorry that I couldn't reach everyone,

but I hope you took some comfort from somebody else's reading.

OK, let's bow our heads. Gracious divine spirits, we thank you...

My hands! I can't stop shaking!

I'm not surprised.

I've got us large ones, I think we need them after that.

And you know how he loved that song.

He loved everything by Perry Como because of his dad.

They're probably all up there right now,

having a good old sing-along with Perry himself!

As soon as she started talking to you,

I felt the hairs on my arms shoot up.

-It was like he was standing right there with us.

-I know.

-I felt the blood completely drain out of my body.

-See!

What did I tell you?

I know they're not always 100% accurate,

but there's definitely something in it.

-What about all the stuff about the hospice?

-I know!

I mean, how could she know that?

-How exactly did she put it, again?

-Well, she knew, didn't she?

She knew you'd been carrying around all this guilt

because you weren't with him when he passed.

I feel as if a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Oh, I'm made up for you, girl.

I knew he'd come through for you, I just knew it.

-What about that stuff she said about Michael?

-Oh, yes, spot-on again.

I mean, we both know Mike struggled when he first came out,

but he worshipped the ground he walked on.

He'd have killed anybody who said a bad word against him.

-Are you going to say anything to him?

-Oh, I doubt it.

He can be very cynical about this sort of thing.

This is different, Kath.

Mike's passed on a message for him.

You can't keep that from him.

-That was lovely, I'm stuffed.

-No, leave it. Leave it.

-I'll do it later.

-Sure?

-Mm.

I went to mass this morning.

And I lit two candles, one from both of us.

I know you don't believe...

Still a nice thing to do, though, isn't it?

Talking of your dad...

There's something else I really need to tell you.

I know you think I'm gullible, but please just hear me out on this.

Go on.

Well, me and Aggie went back to the spiritualist church the other night.

And I'm starting to think there might be something in it.

I got a message from your dad.

Look, I, I've... I know what you're thinking.

But I swear to you, the sort of stuff she was saying,

she couldn't possibly have made it up.

Like what?

Well, loads of things. I mean, like...

She knew that you were a graphic designer.

What, she actually said that?

I can't remember the exact words she used,

but she definitely said you work with computers.

Who doesn't work with computers these days?

Hm.

Maybe, but...

But you should have heard how she described your dad to me.

She described his build, his job.

She even knew he went in the Farmer's every night.

She actually said the Farmer's?

Well, no, but she knew he loved a pint after work.

Well, find me a fella round here who doesn't!

Well, I'm just not explaining it very well, that's all.

Mum... They're just very good at reading people.

That's what they do.

Well, maybe.

But how does that explain her knowing about you and your dad?

-What about us?

-She knew that you didn't always see eye to eye.

Oh, wow, we she really that specific? You must have been blown away.

Oh, I knew you'd just laugh at me.

Mum, I'm not laughing at you.

I know you're grieving. But Dad's gone.

He's not sending you messages from beyond the grave.

-How can you be sure of that? How can anybody be?

-Because it's the truth.

No, it's your truth, but it's not mine!

Nobody knows for certain what happens to us when we die, nobody!

Yes, and the same goes for some so-called medium.

Oh, what would you know? Because your mind is closed.

You've never been there, you don't know what it's like.

Because I've never been so stupid or naive, Mum!

Oh, Mum, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

Just forget it, I wish I'd never opened my mouth.

SINGING: # If you feel the wonder

# Of a fairy tale

# You can take the future

# Even if you fail

# I believe in angels

# Something good in everything I see

# I believe in angels

# When I know the time is right for me

# I'll cross the stream

# I have a dream

# I'll cross the stream

# I have a dream. #

Er, £2, please, sir.

Oh, right, yeah. Course. Sorry.

-Thank you.

-Ta.

Thank you, everyone.

As I explained earlier, we were supposed to be joined

tonight by our guest medium Mark Jenkins, but unfortunately,

he had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances.

But I am delighted to say that the ever reliable Mary Coombs has

come to our rescue once again.

-Hello!

-APPLAUSE

What is going on with this weather, you don't know

whether to take out your brolly or your bikini, do you?

Anybody get caught in that downpour earlier? How horrible was that?

Well, I was in the car, luckily, but my little windscreen wipers

were going like the clappers all the way here.

Now, speaking of cars, I think

somebody might be having a bit of an issue with theirs.

-Mine needs an MOT!

-That might be it!

Well, look, it's not a big thing,

it's just a little blessing,

but get it sorted out.

And I wouldn't be surprised when you go there

if you bump into someone that you haven't seen for years,

because I feel that you've got

a lot of love coming to you, OK?

God bless.

OK, piano. Who's got a piano?

-Have you been playing the piano?

-Well, years ago, yeah.

Well, they know.

They're saying we know everything you do and we're so proud of you.

Now, what's the American connection?

-I'm getting someone saying something about America?

-No.

No, you can't get that?

Well, look, I think I'll be budging over somewhere,

because I can definitely feel something about America.

Oh, gentleman at the back there.

Could you take an American connection?

Er, I've been to America a few times, yeah.

Well, there you go.

Now, I think you've got some unfinished business there,

because it's calling you back, you know.

Also, I think you have a link

with the date 12 July.

That to me is Orange Day. You know, the Protestant day.

And you've got a link, a family link...

Protestant and a Catholic family link as well.

I mean, up there in spirit world, it makes no difference,

they're all equal. I mean, they like a bit of banter,

but you know, it's all good-humoured.

-My dad's Protestant, my mum was Catholic.

-Oh, well, there you go.

Ooh! Now, I'm feeling a bit breathy.

Yeah, that's a heavy smoker there. I can tell, because I can smell smoke.

Oh! I think there must be some kind of celebration coming up,

cos they're handing me a cigar!

Have you got an anniversary or big birthday coming up?

-It's my birthday next month.

-Well, there you are.

They're just letting you know, they're getting ready to

celebrate with you. Now...

I have got a lady here

giving you so much love.

She's a mother, do you understand?

A mother in spirit and she's doing this.

It's like the umbilical cord is still attached, is attached to you

and you know, I know that when you're a baby, you cut the cord,

but she's saying that you're still linked with this cord

and you always will be, it's a silver cord.

She's trying so hard to prove how much she loves you.

-Can you feel it? How close she is to you at this moment?

-Yeah.

Definitely. In fact, there she is.

Sitting just down there.

Oh, well, I was so sure I was

communicating with someone in spirit.

So I don't understand, if my mum is still alive,

what's all this stuff about umbilical cords?

Well, sometimes, when we telepathically link to the mind

of a spirit, there's a possibility of a crossover to people on earth.

So what's happened here is, I think, I felt the energy between you two

in this room and I didn't realise that it was a living connection.

Oh, right. So you weren't actually talking to a dead person,

you were reading both our minds, instead?

I think we should probably move on.

We've an awful lot of people in tonight hoping to receive a message.

Sorry, can I just ask one more question?

-Mum, is this the same one who contacted my dad last week?

-Yes.

Right. Well, I hate to tell you this,

but you definitely got your psychic wires crossed on that one.

Cos I can assure you, dead or alive, there's no way in a million years

my dad would ever waste his time with a fraud like you.

I'm sorry, my love, but if you're going to be negative...

And if you really are hearing voices in your head...

..or offensive, we'll have to ask you to leave.

I'd go see a psychiatrist if I were you. Don't worry, I'm going.

Apologies for that, everyone.

We all know that there's a lot of very cynical people out there

and that is entirely their prerogative.

What the hell are you playing at?

I've never been so mortified in the whole of my life.

I'll never be able to show my face in there again.

-Good!

-What is the matter with you?

-I'll wait in the pub.

-Oh, come on.

If you can't see what a load of rubbish it is now, you never will.

So you came here to prove a point?

-Cos you've always got to be right.

-No.

I just wanted to see for myself what it was all about.

I didn't know she would approach me, did I?

No, but you were quite happy to lead her on a merry dance.

Think she did a pretty good job of that on her own.

I find something that brings me comfort

and you are determined to take it away from me.

-Mum...

-How dare you?

Mum.

Oh, right - so you're more than happy to contact the dead,

but then turn your back on the living?

-Who are you to lecture anyone on that?

-You what?

Well, let's face it, it's no wonder you don't want to receive a message

from your dad now, cos you barely bothered with him when he was alive!

Oh, don't look at me like that, because we both know it's true.

Mum, I know you're hurting, but believe me,

you're searching for answers in all the wrong places.

I wouldn't be searching at all, would I, if it wasn't you?

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's... Forget it. Leave it.

No, no, no. Come on, say it.

All I know is...

..that when your father was diagnosed,

I made him a promise that I would be with him when he passed.

And thanks to you, I broke that promise.

Because of me?

You... You knew he barely had days left.

And yet you STILL wouldn't cancel some meeting...

that was so important to you!

Why do you think I left that room in the first place?

Because you were calling again with some bloody excuse!

HE SNIFFS

PHONE RINGS

PHONE RINGS

Please leave a message after the tone.

BEEP

Mum, it's me again.

Just give me a call when you can.

You want a biscuit?

I can't stop thinking about what you said the other day.

I feel absolutely terrible, Mum.

And I know I wasn't there for him much towards the end.

But I'd hate for you to think it's because I didn't care.

Mum, you know what Dad was like, he didn't do serious.

He only ever talked about footy or work.

Just normal stuff, like everyone else.

Even when he was in the hospice...

..and I had all the stuff in my head, that I knew I had to say,

but I could never find the words...

And even in that last week, when I knew time was running out...

That if I didn't say it,

I'd end up regretting it for the rest of my life, so what did I do?

I threw myself into work, ran off back to London to some stupid

meeting I could have cancelled like that.

And now...

So, what exactly did you want to say?

That I loved him.

And how grateful I was that he was always...

..so accepting of me because I know it wasn't always easy for him...

And that I'm sorry.

Sorry? What for?

If I've been a disappointment to him.

What the hell are you talking about?

Come on.

Look at Aggie and her kids.

Grandkids I've deprived you both of.

Oh, you didn't deprive us of anything.

I wouldn't swap places with Aggie for a big clock.

When you have kids, it's...

It's like you never really die.

It's like your genes live on through them and then their kids...

Yeah, exactly, and your dad lives on through you.

But, Mum, I'm the end of the line.

Aren't I?

When my time comes, I really will die

and I'll be taking you all down with me.

Well, it's just as well we won't be around!

You are more like your dad than you'll ever know.

That's why sometimes I could smash your face in!

Good job you've inherited some of his better traits.

You're kind and you're generous and...

you've got his same wicked sense of humour and...

Not to mention his good looks.

Never underestimate how much your dad loved you.

He was so proud of you.

He would not have changed you for the world.

If ever I need to feel close to your dad...

..all I've got to do is look at you.

Oh, come here, soft lad.

KNOCKING

-Hiya!

-Hiya.

-Oh, someone's been busy!

-Yeah, well...

It just felt like the right time.

Oh, may as well let someone else make good use of it.

That's just what Michael said. He's been great. He did the bulk of it.

Couple more bags upstairs, would you give me a hand?

-Then I'll make as a cuppa.

-Yeah, course.

-So has Michael been today?

-Yeah, you've just missed him, actually.

Oh, that's a shame.

-So are you two back on track?

-Yeah.

-Oh, great.

Feels funny being up here.

Aww. Seems like yesterday.

Scary, isn't it?

You might be clearing out his stuff,

but you'll never clear out the memories.

You can feel his presence in every room of this house.

If I bring these down, would you mind taking those down for me, love?

HE ROARS, SHE SCREAMS

-Jesus!

-I'm so.. I'm sorry!

You're sorry?!

You pair of bloody loons!

Your face!

# Hear the whisper of the raindrops

# Blowing soft across the window

# And make believe you love me

# One more time

# For the good times. #