Variable and Full of Perturbation Orphan Black

"Six scientists in lab explosion".

Your father will remain here.

If anybody moves against this house,

I will put a bullet in his head.

-Rachel.

-Hello, Father.

-What have we there?

-Everything, Mrs Sadler. Absolutely everything.

You gave me Kira's stem cells?

This is my decision and not yours!

There is no decision. You have one way forward, this is it.

Get out!

Kira might be her only chance.

Will this help? My tooth.

I give you Duncan, you give up on Kira, we disappear once and for all.

Alison? C...Clone?

I don't think he knows.

You destroyed us...

with the spying and the lies.

-Rachel, is it done?

-It's in motion.

-Rachel.

-Go, now.

Dr Leekie. Get in!

You ruined my marriage. I quit!

-The hell are you doing, huh? You all right?

-I'm fine.

Shit!

Just give me a hand. We got to switch cars.

I thought you said you had that place cased, man.

That was a frickin' ambush. Who were those guys, huh?

Not cops.

Not feds, either, in 400 shoes.

I told you to stay with the whip.

Yeah? If I'd stayed there, you'd be in the morgue now.

Let's get the car and get outta here.

Aah! Aah!

-Aah!

-Shit!

-Aaah!

-Come on.

Ahh! Oh, shit!

Oh, shit.

Aah...

Oh...shit.

Tony, get outta here.

Just forget it, man. You gotta go.

Ohh! Just go. I should've...

I should've told you months ago. I was set up.

What? Who set you up?

You remember that cop that called?

She called out of the blue. I didn't tell her nothing.

-I know. She wanted you because you're...

-What?

Hey. Hey, you're all right, OK?

-Yeah?

-You gotta make me a promise.

You gotta pass on a...a message.

All right, well, wh-what message, huh?

You gotta find that cop. You have to find Beth Childs.

DOOR OPENS

Where's Kira?

They're not coming by until I know it's safe.

Hello, Sarah.

-Hi.

-Benjamin has four men on watch.

Rachel's been warned. If she tries anything,

I will pop her papa in the brain pan.

I like to think she's bluffing.

I'm not, Andrew.

Please call me "Ethan". If I'm to be your pawn,

I'd like to reclaim my given name.

At any rate,

we hold all the cards. Ethan here,

his information, and Kira.

Kira's not part of any deal, S.

I bloody know that! But Rachel's reunion with her father was real.

Let's just see how it all lands at Dyad.

Confirmed all clear, S.

Come!

-They were in the alley.

-Mrs S!

Hello, darling!

Let's wait outside.

Thank you, Benjamin.

Safe enough, yet?

You are a sight for sore eyes.

-What about me?

-Come here, you.

-Mmmm!

-It's good to see you.

Cosima.

Cosima!

Hold on to your hat.

-Hey, my passcard is not working.

-Yeah, I locked you out.

Is that for me?

Yeah, a package from Sarah.

Seriously?

I can override this lock anytime.

Go for it.

I just really don't want you here.

-Cosima!

-Wow, girl fights are mean.

So, the donor's a child?

You are aware a far more effective

and obvious treatment

for 324B21 would be the kid's bone marrow?

Yeah, Scott, we are aware of that.

Donnie! Donnie?

HE CLEARS THROAT

Why didn't you come pick me up, hmm?

The kids are truant.

There's cleaning product all over the laundry room. What's going on here?

Just stop, OK? I don't feel very well.

OK. I know.

It's a lot to take in, isn't it?

Your wife's a clone.

See? I use the C-word, too.

-Ugh...

-It's OK.

We'll deal with it together, OK?

Hmm?

What's that smell?

Um, no...

No. Stop. What are you doing?!

What are you doing?! Don't!

-BOTTLES CLINK

-Ugh...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, you're drinking?!

God! Drinking alcohol the day I get back from rehab?!

Are you insane?!

I know all your little hiding spots!

-Do you want that, hmm?!

-I know about the pills

you keep in your bean pots!

Your minibar in the tub labelled "buttons".

You give me that. Give me that! You're supposed to be supporting me!

-Aagh!

-Does that hurt? Does that hurt yet?

No.

OK! It's time to get ready for school.

Tonight, we're going to stay at Grandma's house,

until Daddy feels better, OK?

Let's go out the door.

Good.

You take today to think.

Who the hell are you?

You're Tony?

No, I'm Harry frickin' Potter.

Where's Beth?

You're leaving already?

-Oh, yeah.

-Kira's in the bath.

I thought we could hang.

My work as child smuggler is done for the day.

What's your daughter's name, again?

Kira.

And she's how old?

She's none of your concern.

Hey. Is there something up?

Um, Arthur needs my help with something cloney, all right?

But no... no, we've got it, OK?

You just need to stay here with Kira.

I'll call if I need to.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome. Bye.

-Bye.

My daughter was about Kira's age when she was taken.

You mean Rachel, by Leekie.

Let's hope you can end this war, Ethan.

That's how you make amends.

I'm afraid Dr Leekie's unavailable.

Would you hold?

You must be Dr Cormier.

Uh, yes.

Paul, your absence is inconvenient

and your silence is irksome.

Please, you know I hate to worry.

Good afternoon, Dr Cormier.

Could I get you tea, coffee?

No, thank you.

Where is Aldous?

SHE SIGHS

Tea, please, Martin.

And could you send a man round for Paul?

Aldous suffered a fatal heart attack

on one of our jets bound for Langley last night.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry.

I know you were close.

For now, you will report to me.

-That's, um...

-Difficult.

For us both.

But, despite this tragedy,

it's come to light that Aldous buried crucial information

about the origins of the experiment.

A line of communication is now open with Sarah.

Delphine,

we may have a breakthrough for Cosima.

Yes.

For us all.

Art, I didn't give you permission to break into my flat.

What the hell's with you?

Felix, Tony.

What, Beth's not coming now? Oh, right. Yeah, great.

What the hell was I thinking, trusting a friggin' cop?

Take it easy, all right?

-It's complicated.

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Then I'm out.

-No, no, you want to stay. You want to stay.

Oh, yeah? Who are you, hmm?

Hardy boy?

Felix.

I'm a friend of Beth's.

We're both friends of Beth's, all right? We're safe friends.

Art's a cop.

He's suspended.

Which is the only kind of cop I like.

Just make yourself at home. Sit down.

I just need 30 seconds with him out in the hall, all right?

And then we'll explain everything. OK?

30 seconds. Fifi.

You call me that again, we don't tell you a thing.

Whoo!

Holy Tilda Swinton!

Where in the hell did he come from?

I kept Beth's cell phone active, hoping it might ring someday, but,

can you clarify what's going on, here?

-That would be a single chromosome.

-So I got it right...

she's a trans clone.

He's trans.

He's, yeah, just another variation in my sister's skin.

Look, he said that Beth contacted him,

that a friend of his was just whacked by suits

and now, he'll only talk to Beth.

OK. Right.

Does Tony know that he's a clone?

I don't know. He's sketchy as hell. I didn't want to tell him anything.

Good. We can't. Follow my lead.

What lead? Oh, shit.

Just one. I'm a few.

No family, too. Who am I?

Pretty gay, by the looks of this place.

Tony, Beth's dead.

Then I got no business here.

You do, Tony. Yeah, you do.

What did Beth tell you, exactly?

She said we might be related and then, she said she was a cop,

so I hung up.

Now, Sammy's got a message for her and she's dead.

What's the message?

No way.

I want to know what's going on here.

All right, yeah.

But here it is, Tony. We know things.

We don't know you.

So how about I go check your story out?

You stay here with Felix.

Look at this.

We need Auntie Alison, stat.

You like that?

Should we put more angels on it?

-They remind me of Helena.

-Yeah? Me too.

Is she OK?

Yeah, she's fine.

I sort of had to leave her to her own devices,

but she asks about you all the time.

KNOCKING, DOOR OPENS

Should we hide?

-IN OTHER ROOM:

-Out to the car...

Has something happened to Cosima?

Um, no.

Actually, I'm... I'm here on Rachel's request.

Hmm. To, what,

leverage your girlfriend's life for my daughter's stem cells?

No. Sh-she has a new proposal.

Leekie is dead.

She says it was a heart attack.

-SHE SCOFFS

-I bet she does.

What you wanted, isn't it?

I believe Aldous was the lesser of two evils. But it's too late, now.

-This is now about Professor Duncan.

-Go on.

The key to a gene-therapy cure

which does not require Kira's stem cells

lies in Duncan's synthetic sequences,

but we need him to come to the Dyad and begin immediately.

No.

But Kira stays with you, where she belongs.

Do you think I could trust Rachel?

Or you, Delphine.

We didn't bring Duncan all this way not to use him.

Please, tell Rachel that we will consider her proposal.

OK.

It looks like you are out of here. You need to take that Pegasus!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Uh...jeez, I thought you went home for the night.

We were going to play in the cafeteria, but...

sorry.

Are you minding the dental pulp in the incubators?

-Yeah, absolutely.

-Cool.

Then I don't care if you're making bathtub acid.

Cosima, the Dyad room wars club, my sworn enemies.

Doomsday, Painmaker, Uwish97.

Cool.

Play on, hail fellows.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

OK. Get those junkyard moves out of my game.

We don't need those here.

All right, read them and weep, gentlemen. You know. You know.

Ha! Missed.

My great worm uses its plague breath

and your lame force guardian takes two damage.

And...

Boom! Hello, special.

Goodbye, force guardian. I win the battle.

Whoa! Dream on.

Your worm can't use a special ability twice.

And Mad Kathos slays before you ever plague-breath.

Mnh, mnh-mnh, sorry.

Mad Kathos's abilities only work in battles he's in.

Scott gets the damage. He doesn't draw again.

But who cares? Because the guardian is toast

and these beastmen go here.

Do you, like, want to play?

I don't know if you're ready for that.

Boom, boom.

Don't even think about it.

Teleport card.

So all your Ratabians are dead,

I've got the city and dragon room,

and...

-Pillage!

-Ohh!

What?!

That's great.

SHE COUGHS

Cosima. Are you OK?

We need to talk.

COSIMA CLEARS HER THROAT

Play on.

Cosima, things are moving too fast to be this way.

I think they killed Aldous.

What?!

Rachel is at his desk

and she's selling it as a heart attack

on the private jet. Listen to me.

I think you are running out of time.

And Kira's tooth was a band-aid,

but Duncan, he may hold the key to an actual cure.

I'm trying to help.

Tell me what you want.

So you're done. Just get outta here.

Hey, battle bitches, can you pick up your beastmen and beat it?

I'm going to keep the promise that I made to you when we first met.

That, one day, I'd get you completely baked.

SHE LAUGHS

Orphan? Huh.

At least you didn't know your real parents were assholes.

You know, mine were so full of shit...

..it made sense when Beth said we were related.

How long did you, uh.. how long did you know Sammy?

Long enough.

How come you're so interested in Sammy?

I'll tell you, if you give me the message he had for her.

You got to work smarter than that, buddy.

Can I borrow some clothes?

No.

Come on, I've been driving for two days.

Got to bathe the boys, you know what I mean?

I know your game, Tony.

-Oh, yeah?

-Mm-hmm.

What is that?

Pushing buttons.

Testing boundaries.

Deep, like an artist, or something.

Oh!

So just how does Tony the trans bandit go over

with the hoodlum set, hmm?

Jesus Christ.

When did you come out, Tuesday?

Yeah. Tony, what you're doing here

is more complicated than sex or gender.

Oh, yeah?

Just shut up and run me a bath.

Run it yourself, bitch.

Ouch! He's meaner than he looks.

You are so much like my sister.

What are you doing?

Ali, uh...

I'm leaving.

No.

We are not there yet.

No! We have a whole mountain to climb.

-We aren't even at base camp yet!

-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I've already hurt you so badly.

-You're better off without me.

-So is this the real Donnie Hendrix, then?

Just picks up and abandons his kids in the middle of the night.

Don't you love me anymore?

Did you ever love me?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about the porn and...

I'm sorry about putting you in rehab

-and I'm sorry for hating your mother and...

-Everybody hates my mother.

Oh, God.

I have made such terrible mistakes, Donnie.

No, no, Ali.

Not like this one.

Try me.

Finding a cure means handing Dyad the keys to the kingdom.

Synthetically speaking.

Can you really cure Cosima?

Yes.

Though it's immodest to boast.

Then there's no question.

Arrange to take him to Dyad.

I guess we'll see if he's still one of them.

This is kind of nice, you know?

Kicking it in a limey boy's tub, all Bohemian and shit.

You got any more smokes?

-Tony.

-Yeah?

I can't stand you sober,

so I'm going downstairs for some booze.

All right, sounds like a plan.

Maybe we can hit the town later.

-All right.

-OK.

What have we got?

-Tony, formerly Antoinette Sawicki...

-Sawicki?

Yeah, and Sammy Weldeen, both convicted thieves.

Seems Sammy got himself shot

in the middle of a job day before yesterday.

Assailants? Unknown.

His body turned up in a Cincinnati garage.

No. No, no.

I smell Monitor all over dead Sammy.

Why, why would he know Beth?

They met. Her phone records show a dozen long calls to Cincinnati

and she flew there twice. Did you get the message out of him?

No, he keeps getting up in my kitchen

at the same time I'm getting up in his.

-Well, did you tell him he's a clone?

-What the hell?!

Do I have to take responsibility for that too?

Shit, look, let's just see what he says

after I get five or six of these into him.

I'll see where the search for him's at,

but I'm telling you, whoever shot Sammy will come looking for him.

-Dyad?

-I don't know. But if I were you,

I would call Sarah and get it over with.

No, um, let me just take one more run at him

before I bring in the big guns, yeah?

All right.

Hmm. Bloody hell.

What do we have here?

You want a hit?

Warm, fuzzy rush of big T.

Testosterone.

No, thanks.

Once a week, come hell or high water.

Or my buddy getting killed.

Or Beth.

Or you, lookin' so good.

You're too kind, Tony.

-Tell me something, yeah?

-Yeah.

Beth contacts you, and then Sammy sends a message to Beth,

so it seems to me that they knew each other.

You think?

How about you tell me how you knew Beth?

Same old story.

Rent boy meets police officer. Intrigue ensues.

Right.

Hey, you sure you don't want a hit?

It'll put some hair on your chest.

I get to shave mine.

-Quick, aren't ya?

-Mm-hmm.

Well, you've got absolutely nothing I haven't seen before.

Let's drink to that.

"You cannot imagine the strange,

"colourless delight

"of these intellectual desires.

"The thing standing before you

"is no longer an animal, a fellow-creature,

"but a problem!"

Hey. Do you seriously think that's appropriate?

KNOCKING

We're ready.

Benjamin.

It's time, Ethan.

Don't worry, hmm?

I'm nobody's pawn.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Felix?

'Hey, Sarah. Oh, God.'

What?!

It's another naive clone.

'Shit! Who is she?'

ROCK MUSIC BLARES

That's the thing.

She's a he.

What? A boy clone?

'From a whole new batch, then.'

No.

No, it's definitely your batch.

Can you just get here as fast as you can, all right?

OK, great, thanks.

Who was that?

It was my sister.

Foster sister?

Yeah, it was my foster sister.

Tasty Tony.

Fluidity doesn't shock me either, Tony.

Something did.

HE MOANS SOFTLY

Mnh-mnh.

Who's this over here?

Hmm?

-Is this Beth Childs?

-No.

Is Beth Childs your sister?

-No, that's my sister.

-You want me to punch you in the head?

What's with her dick, huh?

Creative licence, nothing more.

You going to tell me what the hell's going on here, Felix?

Depends, Tony. Are you going to tell me what Beth's message is?

LAUGHTER

I am h-helium and I'm way funnier

than polonium. SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Ow, my... Ow!

Helium is way funnier than polonium.

Oh, my God!

Aah!

Is the helium voice gone now?

Ohh...yes.

It is.

Good.

Because there is something important I want to tell you.

Je t'aime.

Is that why you didn't tell me

that they were Kira's stem cells?

-Yes.

-Is that why, even before I got here,

you gave Dr Leekie my blood samples,

-even though I told you not to?

-Cosima...

It's your life.

It's not just that.

It's all of us.

You have to love all of us.

Then I love all of you.

Good.

Because if you betray us again,

I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career.

And I love you, too.

I don't know. I don't know. I feel like someone

pulled the planet out from under me.

Yeah, that's good. Keep going.

I thought I was doing something worthwhile,

a sociological study.

-I feel so stupid.

-Mm-hmm.

Goddamn Leekie,

with his big, stupid face,

sneaking doctors in here, examining you!

My own, sweet wife!

I understand furious,

darling, being humiliated by...

unspoken things.

I have to confess something about Aynsley's accident.

INAUDIBLE

Please don't think I'm horrible.

I killed Dr Leekie.

You're killing me, man.

How come you have a friggin' painting with my face on it, eh?

I want to tell you. It's not my place.

Right. Right.

You know, my buddy Sammy,

he didn't give a shit what was going on between my legs.

He just saw me, all right?

And he sends me here with some frickin' message

and you're not going to explain to me why?

Just 30 minutes, all right?

I've given you all frickin' night, man.

I will tell you everything, if you just wait.

-Bullshit.

-Stop!

You wouldn't believe me, even if I told you.

-Out of my way.

-Tony!

Tony...

-Whoa...

-Shite!

-Tony, this is Sarah.

Your sister.

Never had to do this with one of our own before.

Cosima sort of jumped me into the whole clone thing.

-Sarah.

-Yeah?

Shut your yap for a second.

Sure.

Jesus Christ.

My mom always said that they made a mistake

down at the IVF clinic, but, shit.

You all right, mate?

It's a lot to take in.

Yeah, yeah.

Look at us. We're hot.

Damn, girl.

Not our usual identity crisis.

I did all that work a long time ago.

There's only one Tony and you're not me, sucker.

I guess this is the new guy.

-Mm.

-Damn right.

Let's cut the shit, all right?

I got a message and I want to know who they were.

"They"?

Them, all right? The suits who ambushed me and Sammy.

Sammy was ex-military,

so a lot of our jobs came from his old army contacts.

What's the message?

Sammy's exact words?

"Tell Beth keep the faith.

"Paul's like me. He's on it.

"He's a ghost."

A ghost? That's it?

Yeah. Then he died.

Sorry.

Paul.

No trace? No travel alerts,

no digital trail, Paul's disappeared?

Keep looking.

Professor Duncan.

Hello again, Rachel.

I'm so relieved we could arrange this.

Would you like some tea?

Oh, yes, please, my dear.

With lemon.

I feel I must apologise

for our last meeting.

I was overly emotional.

Well, we both were, my dear.

It was a day I'd dreamt of for 20 years.

Well, I have not.

Our relationship must remain...

professional,

for all concerned.

Do you remember I used to read you The Island of Dr Moreau?

Yes.

How does it go? Um...

the bit about

how he'd be forgiven for hate,

but not for irresponsibility.

I don't recall.

Why?

I hope you can forgive me

for being glad that Aldous Leekie is dead.

Of course.

OK. Oh, oh! Um...

I'm pretty sure he crapped himself.

Ohh, Dinah.

I'm sorry.

I was going to take him with me.

That's the director of the Dyad Institute.

He just got in and I whacked him.

I didn't even mean to.

-Oh, God...

-OK, just relax, Donnie.

He is not at all well-wrapped.

You're worried about the trunk?

Yes! I'm going to make a new liner.

And I hope that you threw the weapon in the lake.

I put it back in your gun locker.

-You used my gun?!

-Uh...

This message... It's like

Sammy's trying to reassure Beth about Paul.

-They're both military. What the hell does that mean?

-I don't know.

Leekie's gone. Paul's AWOL. Enjoy it.

-Are you going to be all right?

-Yeah.

He's got some of your worst qualities.

You're the very best of us.

I know. Hmm.

Bye.

Bye. Be safe.

Do you want another whiskey?

I got sisters.

That you do, Tony.

That you do.

You know what? I think I'd get along with dreadlocks, over there, but...

that one with the soccer ball

looks like a douche.

She's a functional alcoholic.

But she's not that bad.

Lucky for you, I'm going to keep you away from all of this.

For now.

These are items I need to begin unlocking the synthetic sequences.

A floppy-disk drive?

Well, I only claim the road map, coordinates, entirely low-tech.

Once you've located them,

Cosima has unlimited resources.

Ah.

But the child is still the prize, isn't she?

Little Kira.

Answer me this, Professor.

Why Sarah?

Of all of us,

how is it the unmonitored tramp was successful?

In her fertility?

Ha! Rachel,

she's a failure, not a success.

You are all barren by design.

Agh!

I suppose you couldn't have created

a reproducing prototype, could you?

Aaaah!

That would be irresponsible.

Which is unforgivable.

Ahem, Dr Cormier will introduce you to Cosima.

-Enchante.

-It's time we begin fixing your mistakes.

Did you get all your stuff?

-Mm-hmm.

-Hey. The cops found your stolen car, Tony.

Which means the Dyad's not going to be far behind.

We do get it, Arthur, OK?

Can you give us like two minutes, please?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be downstairs.

But he needs to be on a bus.

Now.

Hmm.

Tell me something...

why is it that I'm not worried about you?

Cos this is how I roll.

Can't fence this shit in.

All right, there, Tennessee Waterfall.

Take this. There's three numbers in there, yeah?

Me, Art, and Sarah.

You call it if anything goes wrong.

You little...

Later, sister-kisser.

HE CHUCKLES

OK, come on, Scott, they're almost here.

Ohh! Give me a break.

What are you doing?

-No.

-No?

All right.

Wow, the original geneticist.

-Yeah.

-I assume he's here to help us with 324B21.

Cos, otherwise...

Scott.

It's me.

I'm 324B21.

You?

Do you need me to beam you up, Scotty?

It's an honour, Cosima.

An honour to be working with you.

OK.

Cosima.

This is...

Professor Duncan. Hi. My maker.

Oh, please, don't call me that.

It's "Ethan".

It's not every day you get to meet your, uh,

Ethan.

No, I suppose not.

We're ready to work.

We're very optimistic.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

This is Scott.

Um...

He's new to the whole thing, but...

but, um, indispensable.

SHE COUGHS

Cosima?

-God!

-Cosima!

Wait, wait. Give her some space. Ethan, get some help, now.

VOICES FADE AWAY

-Now!

-I'll be right back!

Cosima, can you hear me?

We need some help!

Cosima!

What's up with your garage?

-Oil change.

-Renovating.

-Now for the embryos.

-Those are my babies?

Feel free to spend as much time here as you wish.

You're part of our family now.

I'd like you to take over as interim director.

The disease is spreading too rapidly.

-But if we can reboot her immune system...

-With my kid's bone marrow!

-Will Auntie Cosima die?

-She might.