Episode 5 Peaky Blinders

This place is under new management...

by order of the Peaky Blinders.

Just write down, "Peace between the Jews and the Italians."

And war...

..against the Gypsies.

'I love him, Tom.

'I know.'

That's why I'll keep him away from the old business

and put him charge of the new.

Some idiots at The Marquis Of Lorne.

They tried to stop me and Isaiah from drinking, but it's all right.

We fought them off.

The Marquis, eh?

This programme contains strong language and scenes of sexual violence, which some viewers may find upsetting

What do we want with a 1,000 guinea horse?

When we make our move on Sabini's racing pitches

a good racehorse is a passport to the owners' enclosure.

May Carleton. I breed racehorses and train them.

'I have made arrangements with men I trust.'

If I should die...

then you will die.

GOAT BLEATS

MURMUR OF VOICES

# Take a little walk to the edge of town

# And go across the tracks

# Where the viaduct looms like a bird of doom

# As it shifts and cracks... #

WOMAN MOANS ECSTATICALLY

# ..Where secrets lie in the border fires

# In the humming wires Hey, man, you know you're never... #

Would you stop the noise?!

# ..Past the square, past the bridge past the mills, past the stacks

# On a gathering storm comes a tall handsome man

# In a dusty black coat with a red right hand... #

HE SNIFFS

You're working tonight?

Not so much work as pleasure.

Others are doing my work for me tonight.

Gentlemen, welcome, welcome.

Mr Solomon.

You must be Arthur.

-That is right.

-Arthur, Arthur!

-It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.

-I have heard so much about you.

Shalom. Let me just say...

Shalom.

CROCKERY SMASHES

For luck.

# ..They're a-whispering his name through this disappearing land

# But hidden in his coat is a red right hand... #

You understand I am the commanding officer on this operation

and you are here purely as an observer?

Just do your duty!

Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive,

may the Lord make us truly grateful.

Amen.

Amen!

Amen.

The Passover started off way out there in the Far East -

out in the sand, out in the desert,

where my forefathers come from -

the Jews, the brews, whatever you want to call them.

-DOOR RUMBLES SHUT

-It started out as a little speck on the horizon...

Arthur, this ain't right!

Billy, don't worry, mate. If you want, you can leave.

If you need to go to the little boy's room, you can leave.

-We're going to open them in a minute anyway.

-He's all right. Billy Boy.

-Do you want to leave?

-No, you are all right.

-You want to stay?

-I'll stay.

You stay there, then, treacle. OK.

So, the Pharaoh, have you heard of him?

He kept my people, the Jewish people, in slavery

for thousands and thousands of years.

Persecuted race.

He did, he persecuted my race. The killing of the innocent, right?

Seder, this feast what we is having here, right?

Seder is basically the day when the Jewish angels decided, you know,

that the evil fucking Egyptians had pushed their fucking luck.

-Right.

-It's part of our tradition, to do with Seder, right,

that in order to make it good with God to kill a king...

..we have to carry out the Korban Pesach.

-Right.

-That is the ritual sacrifice of the Passover goat.

GOAT BLEATS

-It's a goat!

-Yeah, and we are going to sacrifice it.

Tonight.

That is part of the reason why we have to shut the doors as well.

But this year we thought we'd give the fucking goat a name.

-You've named it?

-We fucking did. Yeah.

They named the fucking goat.

After the evil fucking Egyptian pharaoh.

The fucking enemy!

That's right! You know what we called him?

What did you call him?

Tommy Shelby.

GUNSHOT

SHOUTING AND COMMOTION

Police! Stay where you are.

SHOUTING AND COMMOTION

GUNSHOT

You're all fired.

Fuck you!

That's right, let's take the load off.

So, then the evil Egyptian scum

was finally cleansed

by the blood of the Passover goat.

That's from Sabini.

You tell your Gypsy king...

HE SCREAMS

..that whoever comes down south

shall return north in many fucking pieces.

KNIFE SLASHES FLESH, HE SCREAMS

The fucking animal. He come in here, right,

with a fucking gun and a razor, he shot him in the face.

My lads, they restrained him. Look at him. He is dead.

Is he dead?

He is fucking dead!

He wants arresting or some thing, right? Surely.

Not again! Michael! No, you can't take him away again!

You can't take my son away!

-Give me the boy.

-Come back here.

Listen, we are arresting him for taking part in a fight...

Ow, you...!

Don't you fucking touch him! Get off him!

Don't say anything. Tommy will get you out.

I'll be all right...

You should know that, as of this night, Tommy Shelby is finished.

Mick, this is Thomas Shelby. He's come to check up on his filly.

Yes. I've heard about him.

Micky is the best horseman in England.

He likes to waste money, I know that.

According to the reports I've been given

you're spending £2 a month on worming powder.

What? You want a horse with worms?

Horses get worms from the water trough.

If you put goldfish in them, they eat the worm eggs.

Goldfish?

That'll be a Gypsy thing, is it?

No, it's an accounting thing.

Goldfish cost a penny each.

Or you can win them at the fair.

If you want, I'll dispense with the vet altogether.

Excuse me.

Did you ever consider a career in diplomacy?

Hello, hello. How are you, eh?

Goldfish? Seriously?

Yep. You people have a lot to learn.

They asked me if I wanted a fire in the guest bedroom.

I said no.

Just one fire tonight.

Bold and fearless, eh?

Yes.

Though I'm not really fearless.

-Drink?

-Why not?

Madam, there is a telephone call.

I'll take it in the drawing room.

It's for Mr Shelby.

We had a deal.

Hey?

We had a fucking deal!

I would thank you to moderate your language in a place of worship.

We had a fucking deal.

Mr Shelby.

If you read the papers, you might have seen that the Home Secretary

has got himself into a bit of a fizz about certain moral issues.

Prostitution, protection,

racketeering, drinking,

cocaine and, of course...

gambling.

He has demanded results.

You offered me protection. You promised me protection.

Well, no, you see it was Mr Churchill that made you that promise.

And the Home Secretary outranks him, so...

And I can hardly be blamed if your demented brother

decides to go on some sort of blood orgy during dinner.

Don't fucking lie to me!

-SHOUTS:

-Do not sit here in your fucking church and lie to me!

You will need to contain your emotions

or this meeting is at an end.

Good.

That's better.

So...

..let us review the new situation.

I have your brother in a prison cell

charged with the murder of Billy Kitchen.

The case against him is strong

and I have no doubt that his destiny is to hang.

And then there is Polly's son, Michael.

He has already admitted to helping Arthur burn down the Marquis pub.

He was a tough nut to crack, that boy, but crack he did.

So I have your brother facing the noose,

I have your cousin facing five years for arson.

And I have your entire organisation in disarray

in Birmingham and in London.

What do you want?

What do I want?!

I don't understand.

I have already agreed to do your fucking killing for you.

Now, what is it you want from me?

There you go, you see.

An agreement is not the same thing as an assurance, now, is it?

You see, I found... I wasn't sleeping so well.

It wasn't just the smell and the noise in that room, no.

It was the nagging doubt. The knowledge...

The knowledge that...

..Tommy Shelby is not afraid to die.

Therefore...

..the threat to your own life might not be enough

to make it certain that you will obey me on the given day.

I needed also the power of life and death over your family.

And that I now have.

Your brother.

Your cousin.

And your sister.

I have known her address in Primrose Hill since the day she moved in.

She is safe only as long as I want her to be.

I have been ahead of you...

..every step of the way.

And, as my father used to say...

..to make sure your dog obeys you,

you have to show it the stick once in a while.

PHONE RINGS

Tommy, Arthur is in solitary confinement.

Michael is in the remand wing of...

I already know. Get out, shut the doors.

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

'Tommy?

'It's me.'

Tommy, can you hear me?

Yes, er, Grace.

I think you called. I...haven't slept.

Grace, this is not a good time.

I can call you back.

-No, it's fine. It's all right.

-Can we meet?

Yes. We'll meet.

When?

Grace, there are some things I have to do first.

John?

The coppers have lifted ten of our men in Camden Town,

the rest of them are on the run.

-They've taken Michael.

-Business first.

-They took Michael last night.

-I said business first.

-They picked him up...

-Polly, business first!

John?

They took all our whisky,

so no doubt they'll be supping that for Christmas.

They've impounded all our vans, put their own locks on the warehouse.

The Eden Club and all our pubs have been raided by the coppers

and handed back to Sabini and Solomons.

The Black Country boys think it was Arthur killed Billy

because that's what the coppers told them.

So there'll be no more free passes for our whisky boats.

I don't give a fuck about whisky.

I don't give a fuck about Billy Kitchen.

I want my son out of prison. Now.

Thomas, I spoke to Johnny Dogs.

This meeting should just be family.

-I can help.

-It's family only, she is not blood, Tommy!

-Let her speak.

-Or is this a business...? Have you forgotten...?

-ENOUGH!

Enough, Polly.

Esme?

I spoke to Johnny Dogs. The Lees are kin.

-The bloody Lees!

-They can give us men!

We don't need more fucking men!

It's men that have done the damage!

It... It is men fighting like cockerels

that have put us here in the first place.

Esme, I'll take up their offer. We need men.

If Michael ever gets out of prison,

I am taking him away from this family.

For good.

This life is bad.

This life is all bad.

-Aunt Pol, what are you doing?

-Shut up and walk.

DOOR CLOSES

Thomas?

Should I go and speak to Queen Mary Lee at the Black Patch?

Yes.

She can give us soldiers for a few nights.

Mm, good.

John, go and bring up the car.

DOOR CLOSES

Imagine riding away, Thomas.

Living the real life, you know?

Your Gypsy half is the stronger.

You just want to ride away.

France is the new place for us, they say.

Lot of metal lying around still.

Guns and trucks and spent shells and things.

Then you go south.

Saintes-Maries, where the Black Madonna is.

My brothers go sometimes for the fair.

It's like a home for us.

They still let you get lost there.

I've been to France, Esme.

So has John.

Now get your coat

and go with your husband.

And if you ever talk about getting lost again,

I will cut you...

..from this family.

What family?

KEYS CLANK IN LOCK

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

DOOR OPENS

MALE VOICES IN BACKGROUND

Ah, Polly.

Come to see my son.

Close the door.

I've just been conducting...

an interrogation.

It can be awfully hard on the hands.

My son, Michael, where is he?

Do you think I need a shave?

It's been a long day.

I need to shave, don't you think?

Well, maybe it can wait till later.

Your son has been having a hard time of it, I am told.

And that is why I thought that you and I, together,

we should do whatever we can to get him freed.

I...I have a form here, a release form,

and with my signature he can be freed by tomorrow morning at dawn.

So sign it.

He didn't do anything.

"Sign it, Mr Campbell, please, sir."

Something like that, that'd be a way to say it, wouldn't it?

Now...

..what would prompt me to do you such a favour, hmm?

What do you want?

Information?

You mean inside information about Tommy Shelby's criminal empire?

With respect,

I would say that I know more about Tommy's dealings than you do.

He doesn't trouble the family with Irish business, for instance,

does he? No.

So, no...

it's not information I need.

What else could you give me...

..in return for my signature?

I'm talking about a simple transaction here.

I have a great curiosity.

Like a magpie...sees something...

..something shining in the mud.

Oh, he has no need for the silver, but...

..but he takes it anyway.

Sign the form.

"Please, sir..."

Please, sir...

I will sign that form with this hand...

..when I am finished.

It's a deal?

It's a deal.

You don't cry?

-Oh, I can cry.

-So...

..that is what I want.

I need you to cry.

I will try.

"I need a favour, Mr Campbell, sir. And I will do anything...

"Anything in return."

That's what you might have said, hmm?

I felt something when...

..when I had you up against that car and you felt it, too.

(Don't tell me you didn't, Polly.)

Because...

Oh, and now you think you're...

..sort of respectable...

with your son and your house

and your maid, but I know what you are,

you Gypsy Fenian slut.

Do you want it on the floor or on the desk, Mr Campbell?

Now you cry.

You cry!

Get out. Get out.

Get out!

No. No!

I want him free.

I will get him free.

You don't need to shave.

You don't need to do anything.

Victory's just doing nothing, as well.

Doing it soft and gentle.

Should I talk or not talk?

Should it be like I am weak and small, yes?

Do you want me to talk or not talk?

Talk.

You're small and weak.

Then that is what I am -

small and weak.

Look.

Feel.

You made me cry.

No!

We had an agreement, right?

Yes. Yes!

DOOR OPENS

Where've you been?

I went to the Spotted Dog in Digbeth for a glass or two of rum.

Was it one glass or two?

It was three.

Where's the baby?

Sleeping.

More like five.

It was more like six.

Did you meet the maid?

I talked politics with her and she got bored and went to bed.

I phoned James.

He talked to the lawyer anyway.

He said he'd take Arthur's case for free, so we don't need Tommy.

Pol?

We'll get Michael free, as well, I promise.

There's no need, they're letting him out in the morning.

If the baby wants anything at night, ring the bell by the bed.

She gets paid to work 24 hours, that girl, she's getting lazy.

Well...

..take advantage if you're nice.

# Forgive me, Hera I cannot stay

# He cut out my tongue There is nothing to say

# Love me, oh Lord He threw me away

# He laughed at my sins In his arms I must stay

# He wrote, "I'm broke, Please send for me."

# Her skin is white And I'm light as the sun

# So holy light shines on the things you have done

# So I asked him How he became this man?

# How did he learn to hold fruit in his hands?

# And where is the lamb that gave you your name?

# He had to leave Though I begged him to stay

# We speak when spoken to

# And that suits us well

# That suits us well

# That suits me well. #

You need cream on them cuts or they'll go bad.

The screws told me why I've been freed.

They told me what you did.

They thought it was funny.

Maybe it is.

What are you doing, Tommy?

Shovelling shit, Curly. Just like you.

And why are you doing that, Tommy?

To remind myself of what I'd be if I wasn't who I am.

Tommy?

What's going on?

I think Tommy's lost his mind, Charlie!

Well, it's honest work, Curly...

but I don't want to get used to it,

so I'll need six cans of petrol.

Bring them to the garage, put them in the back of the car.

Six cans?

Tommy, if you ever want a job, I'll get you your own shovel.

Petrol, yeah. Yeah.

# Climbed over mountains

# Travelled the sea

# Cast down off heaven

# Cast down on my knees

# I've lain with the devil

# Cursed God above

# Forsaken heaven

# To bring you my love... #

Far too gorgeous for some half-blind auntie.

She's my harshest critic. I have to be perfect.

She's not half-blind, she's half-deaf.

So what time will you be back?

Before midnight.

I'll be awake.

Is this your house?

Yes. Have a seat.

Do I not get a drink?

Please.

-You want one?

-Yes.

Still whisky?

Yes.

But other things have changed.

I saw vans with your name on at the docks.

Yes, some things have changed.

Tommy, I really wasn't sure about coming tonight...

I lit a fire in the bedroom upstairs.

My plan was that we sit here for a while and...

talk about old times,

drink some whisky.

And I was going to tell you

I hadn't spent a day without thinking about you.

And then we were going to go upstairs

and sleep together.

But just now, on the way to opening the door,

I changed my mind.

So just have one drink,

tell me how happy you are in New York and then you can go.

You "changed your mind"?

Mmm. So you can go.

As a matter of fact, I am happy in New York.

-And I am married.

-Oh, yeah, he's rich, I know.

And he's sweet and he's kind to me,

so what makes you think that I would have gone to bed with you

after one whisky and some conversation?

-I was accounting for three whiskies.

-How dare you?

Doesn't matter now, because I've changed my mind.

I came here because you asked me.

Even though he's sweet and he's kind to you?

-And now I feel like an idiot.

-Well, then go.

(Jesus.)

But you're still here.

Are you so certain?

That you're still in love with me?

I was, but I'm not any more.

You're not armed, Grace, are you?

No, I'm not armed.

I don't carry guns. I don't have to.

You don't have a sense of humour any more, either.

What are you talking about?

Thing is, I hate reunions.

I didn't want to sit here for hours talking about nothing

and dancing around what we really want to say.

So now...

I know you're happy in New York. I know your husband's rich

and sweet and kind to you. I know you're unarmed

and you didn't come here for sex, because you don't love me any more.

And it's only three minutes past.

Another drink?

I'll take that as a yes.

It's good to see you, Grace.

So you didn't light the fire?

You see, my real plan...

..was that we go out.

I want to impress you.

Now...

..do you like Charlie Chaplin?

Yes, I like Charlie Chaplin.

Good.

But I bet you've never heard Charlie Chaplin speak.

I thought you were taking me to see Charlie Chaplin.

-I am.

-This isn't a picture house.

No, it's not a picture house.

So how will I see Charlie Chaplin?

You will see him and you will hear him, just like I promised.

-There you go, there's Chaplin.

-Oh, my God, that's him.

-Mm-hm.

-That's really Charlie Chaplin in person.

-Yep.

He's in England, promoting his film.

-And how the hell do you know Charlie Chaplin?

-I don't,

I know his bodyguard, Wag MacDonald.

It's that chap there.

I was a bookie in Birmingham, then he went to Los Angeles.

You see, Wag is also a Romany Gypsy, as is Chaplin.

But he keeps it a secret.

Chaplin was born on the Black Patch, a Gypsy camp in Birmingham.

That's why he gave Wag the job, even though Wag was on the run.

Thank you.

Thank you.

See, we've all got secrets, Grace.

Come on, I'll introduce you.

Hello, Wag. Mr Chaplin, this is Grace.

Hello, Mr Chaplin.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-Hello, Mr Campbell.

You said you knew my sister's address in Primrose Hill.

So I expect you have men watching the house,

to see who comes and goes.

Well, tonight, your men will see me return to the house

with a very beautiful woman.

She will stay until just before midnight.

Course, I'll close the curtains.

Can you guess who the woman is?

Liar!

Sleep well, Mr Campbell.

Tommy.

Tommy, do you have someone?

(It's too late, Tommy.)

(It's 11, Grace.)

I mean, it's too late.

If you'd come with me to New York...

I had things to do.

You mean the coin landed the wrong way?

It couldn't have worked.

That was a question.

(Tommy, do you have someone?)

(I have a race horse.)

She's going to win the Derby.

MUSIC: Catherine by PJ Harvey

# Till the light that shines on me

# I damn to hell every second you breathe

# I envy the road the ground you tread under

# I envy the wind your hair riding over

# I envy the pillow your head rests and slumbers

# I envy to murderous envy your lover

# Till the light shines on me

# I damn to hell every second you breathe

# Till the light shines on me

# I damn to hell every second you breathe

# Till the light shines on me... #

-I'll drive you.

-HE CLEARS THROAT

When do you sail back?

We don't know yet.

You don't have a return ticket?

This wasn't right, Tommy.

When do you go back, Grace?

They're doing tests on us.

I don't know when they'll be finished.

We're having treatment.

A doctor in Harley Street.

Some new thing. A breakthrough.

We're trying for a baby.

Why did you come here tonight?

The doctor believes it's surely me who's at fault.

-I am sorry. It is no-one's fault.

-I'm tired of that.

Can I see you again?

Grace?

You're used to working under cover, eh?

I've never lied to him once.

So tell him the truth.

Put your arms up.

What have we got here then?

Take your fucking hands off me!

Here he is. The King of London Town.

You been enjoying yourself?

Oh, yes, fucking great.

Surrounded by Sabini's men.

Rats everywhere.

Fucking cockneys.

Well, at least you're going to get what you've always wanted.

-And what's that?

-You've tried to hang yourself twice.

Now the King's going to do it for you.

-I've been a fucking idiot.

-Yeah.

I haven't appreciated nothing, John.

Are you fucking repenting or something?

Drawing.

I used to be good at drawing.

Arthur, please. For God's sake. I don't need this.

I should have listened more in class...

What fucking class? You were never there!

I used to draw horses.

Arthur...

Stallions. Great big ones. They looked real.

Arthur. Not stallions, not now.

I should have done more with my life, John. Good things.

-Arthur, for God's sake...

-Even Ada said it wasn't my fault.

-Arthur, will you listen?

-They are going to hang me, John.

They're not going to hang you.

Says who?

Tommy.

And how is Houdini going to get me out of this?

-Well...

-Don't tell me. He's got a plan.

-But you don't know what that plan is, do you, John?

-I do...

Because we just, we can't be trusted.

All right. If he's so fucking clever, why am I in here?

-Well...

-Why is all our men and half our whisky being lifted?

Hmm?

The Jew and the cockney have run rings round him.

-Will you shut up?

-Look at you. Look.

A big fucking man...

Fucking shut up!

He's already told me what I've got to do.

What business have you got here?

I just pulled over. I never smoke and drive, you know.

Where are you from?

I'm from Ireland.

The beautiful north, where the rocks sing in the wind.

Where in the beautiful north?

You know, I just pulled over for a fag.

I want to see some identification.

Hey!

# Come home

# Like me

# You're home now

# Here with me

# Come home

# With your son

# Tomorrow might never come... #

May!

Tommy!

Does it really stop the horses from getting worms?

Yep. It really does.

Anyway, I thought it would make you smile.

I'm sorry that you had to drive through the night.

Must be exhausted. You can go and sleep if you want.

May?

We have to stop.

This.

I came here to tell you we have to stop.

Why?

Because I'm me and you're you? That old thing?

There's someone.

For a long time.

And I didn't want you to think anything about how it's going to be

after the race.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Not many of your people know about me

so I haven't done the damage that would come.

"My people"?

-But the damage isn't done, is what I mean.

-Right.

And even if it's like this, I want the horse to stay here.

To stay. Yes, of course.

Epsom is close.

I haven't got my outfit yet, so it's all right.

You can still be with me in the enclosure.

Very gracious of you, Sir(!)

You can wear something...

It's funny, isn't it,

because you'll be up there and I'll be down in the ring.

Sort of upside down, isn't it?

You can still be with me after and you can still wear something.

I will be covered in mud, from the ring.

May, forget about men like me.

I was going to tell you how much she's improved.

There are other men who...

I think she stands a chance of placing. So...

So the silly part of our business is done.

Are you going to drive straight off to Birmingham, or...?

What if I said, er, "All right, I'll stay"?

After what I just said.

Then that would be all right.

You talk about "damage". The damage not yet done.

You don't think half of London already thinks

that I am fucking a racketeer?

Laughing about it. Laying bets on when you'll steal the silver.

You think your people are ruthless? Try mine.

So that is why you carry on, eh?

Because you can't back down.

Amongst many other illogical reasons.

So will you drive straight off, or?

I haven't got any petrol in the garage.

I have some cans of petrol in the car.

Good. So you can go.

They look happy in there, eh?

And why wouldn't they be?

Who is she?

Someone who's sailing away.

So let her sail.

You've told me about her. Like a gentleman.

Now kindly behave like a gangster again.

Feel sorry for me. It's fine.

Because your horse will come fifth or sixth.

But I will win you.

Mr Shelby is just parking his car.

He said for you to wait in here.

Isn't this is impressive?

And what is it you exactly do here?

I exactly am a secretary to Mr Shelby.

A secretary! My, my, my!

All that paperwork.

Do you want tea?

No.

I keep everything locked up, Mr Campbell. Everything of value.

Take a seat.

HE CLEARS THROAT

How is your company treasurer, Polly?

Why do you ask?

Oh. Just give her my regards.

Ah!

You like to play with fire, don't you, Mr Shelby?

Yesterday,

in Belgravia,

Field Marshall Russell's house was burnt out.

An incendiary device was put through his letter box.

Which means

that he will have to find somewhere else to live

for at least the next three months.

Which also means that your plan for me to break in and shoot him

in his bed is no longer an operational possibility.

Indeed, but if you think a wee burn frees you from your obligations,

think again...

I will keep my side of the bargain.

Oh, by God, you will.

I will shoot your Field Marshal.

But I will do it in a way that serves my purpose.

The only purpose is MY purpose.

I will carry out the assassination at a place of my choosing.

Listen to me.

All operational detail must be mutually agreed.

I am a soldier of experience and I will determine where and when...

Now, that man has 24-hour armed police protection.

Your plan was full of holes, Mr Campbell.

My plan was mutually agreed!

And now your plan is up in smoke!

And I have formulated the only viable alternative.

For God's sake. What do you mean?

How would you get to him?

I won't.

He'll come to me.

Now listen to me, Mr Shelby.

When this meeting is concluded

I must report directly to Mr Winston Churchill.

Your relationship with Mr Churchill is not my concern.

And Mr Winston Churchill will need to hear details.

Well, you tell him he'll have to trust me.

Look, Mr Campbell, I will carry out my mission.

-Good. Good.

-But I will do it in a place where it will be impossible

for you or your men to have me shot afterwards.

Because that was your plan, eh?

Coppers front and back. No way out.

Me shot dead, dumped in the Thames.

I will do the killing,

but in a place where that will not be an option.

I have recently become a racehorse owner, Mr Campbell.

It's, er...

Well, perhaps you can guess which one is my horse.

HE COUGHS

Where and when?

Epsom.

Derby day.

MUSIC: Red Right Hand by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

# On a gathering storm comes a tall handsome man

# In a dusty black coat with a red right hand... #