07/06/2016 River City

-What about going back running Chrome?

-I like it.

Don't think Kelly-Marie will be as keen, though.

-I'm going to buy you out.

-No, you're not.

-Generous offer. Very generous offer.

-I'm not interested.

Lenny had her killed?

I've not see her since David's funeral.

-What's going on, is everything OK?

-Yeah, I just have to go...

-Annie, wait.

-Please. Don't touch me.

Are you worried I'll kiss you again? Right here.

-We're no so different, me and you. We both use people to get what we want.

-I don't have what I want.

SNORING

SNORING CONTINUES

# The world was on fire and no-one could save me but you

# It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

# I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

# And I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

# No, I don't want to fall in love

# This girl is only gonna break your heart

# No, I don't want to fall in love

# This girl is only gonna break your heart

# With you

# With you

# This girl is only gonna break your heart

# What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way... #

And still no invite?

For what?

For the club reopening.

That's tonight, isn't it?

The last place you'd be going anywhere near is Chrome.

-The Candle Room.

-I don't care what it's called. Just stay away from it.

Don't worry. You couldn't pay me to be in the same room as Alex.

Still, you'd think I'd get an invite.

-What's wrong?

-It's coming up as declined.

It cannae be. Lenny's due to put my allowance in today.

Well, he's no done it, hen.

MUSIC PUMPING

Someone's working off the guilt.

What?

If I lived with AJ, I'd be the size of a house.

Thankfully he's been feeding his customers more than me nowadays.

He's been stressing over those canapes for The Candle Room

launch tonight.

Have you got an outfit picked out?

Oh, no, I'm not going. My Dirty Martini days are long gone.

You?

I thought you'd be the perfect clientele. Business owner.

Young. Attractive.

I think it's safe to say that I am one of a long list

of women that Alex will not be inviting to his grand opening.

Must be awkward, what with him having money in here.

No. He was just a...

It was just sex.

Nothing more.

I don't believe that.

I don't believe anyone can, well, you know, and it not mean anything.

Believe me, you can.

I couldn't. I'm not built that way.

I am.

Was.

And Alex isn't capable of anything else.

Any headaches, dizziness?

No spotting or cramping?

No. I'm fine.

And your blood pressure's all OK.

And your last scan showed up no problems, so...a healthy baby.

Did they tell you the sex?

Yes.

I understand that you're anxious, but babies pick up on anxiety,

even in the womb.

You have to try and look after yourself - relax.

Not till this one's in my arms and maybe no even then...

I can't lose this one. I can't.

Not again.

Have you talked to anyone about your worries?

What if I tell them and... and something happens?

They've had a gut full of my problems.

-I just don't want to put them through it.

-I don't think that would be the case.

I don't like to think of you going through this on your own.

And I'd be surprised if they haven't noticed.

You're already showing.

I think my mum suspects something, but we don't really talk about it.

And the baby's father? Have you told him?

It's complicated.

It's Gabriel's.

I've caused him enough pain.

Don't want to bring him back for the wrong reasons.

Look, you're going to need support.

And I have to advise you to talk to your family or someone close.

But...if you don't feel you can,

then, well, I want you to know you can always come and talk to me - OK?

About anything.

Thank you, Doctor.

-..One in there.

-Sure.

I still think you're making a mistake not having

a celebrity open the club.

We're not spending ten grand on some Z-lister who once ate

a kangaroo testicle live on TV.

Real classy.

Yeah, and you have a firm hand on class,

what with the chavvy ex-wife and the hookers on speed dial.

And it's a new low blow from the Ginger Whinger.

All am saying is, I'm younger, which means...

-You're less experienced?

-Just button it, will you?

Listen, I want you to go and get Cal. Take him into town.

Get him a new pair of football boots.

Miss Trunchbull reporting for baby-sitting duty.

Shut it!

I don't think that's the best use of my time.

I'm asking you nicely, Amber.

Can Alex not do it?

Alex has got a club to run, remember?

I thought we both had a club to run.

Plus, he's better with Cal, what with him

being the same mental age.

You're doing it.

Oh, I see what this is. The Boys Club.

Just cos I've got ovaries, I'm left in charge of Rain Man Junior.

Just do it, Amber, eh? Now!

Right. OK.

And keep him out all afternoon. Take him to the pictures or something.

Are you joking?

Listen, my wee pain in the neck,

you're going to do your dad this good turn, OK?

I'll send Jimmy over to get him when he's finished. Now shift!

He's definitely out.

I had my mouth open there!

We need more photos to make our relationship look convincing.

Suppose.

Which is why I've been working on our critical path analysis.

Our what?

It's like a checklist, only way cooler.

Looks complicated.

You don't have to worry about any of this.

Just participate fully when and if I tell you is appropriate.

It's colour-coded.

That's what makes it pretty.

Right...

So. Proposal. We've a tight window on this.

I'm thinking Tall Ship tonight.

You on bended knee, with a microphone in front of everyone.

Traditional nonsense.

Eh, that is how I proposed to my last girlfriend.

Zinnie. Car explosion.

Died in Montego Street.

Aye, all right! Bit of tact, please.

She was a real person, not a question on Mastermind.

Oh, God. I'm so sorry. I just... You know that whole sensitivity button?

I think I was born without it.

-Maybe we should just do this another...

-No. It's fine.

Just...you know.

So... So this spreadsheet thing, it says that today we need a proposal?

Then a proposal is what you're going to get.

But it needs to be believable.

Absolutely. And public.

There need to be witnesses and it has to be memorable.

I do have a certain reputation to uphold.

Anybody that knows Angus Lindsay knows he is the master of woo,

the doctor of love, the magician of fruition.

That doesn't make sense.

It needs the Lindsay charm.

And does this charm work to a deadline?

Absolutely. What is the deadline?

Tonight. We're getting married in two weeks.

Then I better get started, eh?

Where are you going?

First step. Market research!

Hey, Angus, what is this?

Black pudding.

Hmm. What is in it?

Pigs' blood.

KNOCK ON DOOR

DOOR OPENS

Hi, Liz. Come in. Have a seat.

Thank you.

Right. Thanks for seeing me, Doctor.

No worries. So, what's the problem?

I'm absolutely mortified about being here, but I really had no choice.

Molly is just outside.

You mentioned recurring headaches?

Oh, yes. Thumping, skull-splitting headaches.

But I suppose that comes with living with Molly and Alasdair.

If they're not squabbling about whether ketchup belongs in

the refrigerator, they're sitting there cackling over some inane programme

where highly over-privileged twenty-something-year-olds are drinking

spumante on tap and laughing at their own jokes.

And, oh, the language!

And the rash?

Well, as I said, it's an allergy I would think.

What with Molly scooshing her cheap perfume and Alasdair

and his bloomin' plug-ins.

The place is smelling like a hussy's handbag, as my mother would have said.

Nevertheless, let me give you something for the itching.

Yes, I had just got used to Molly,

and now there's Alasdair and I have to adjust again.

Hey ho. How things have changed.

You must miss Malcolm?

Every day.

A lot of my patients say it does get easier.

No. It doesn't.

But I won't complain.

I was lucky.

I got my second chance.

Second?

At love.

You're off your head.

This coming from the guy who's living with his ex-wife!

Just ignore him, Angus. I think it's kind of romantic.

Thank you, Ellie. Finally somebody that speaks my lingo.

Another few weeks of this and she'll have her green card thing,

I'll get some cash, and hey-ho, pop-up club here we come.

I just need to dream up the perfect proposal.

Aye. You know, I'd love to go up in a hot-air balloon,

imagine, over the River Clyde.

Or...no, on The Orient Express.

Ellie, it has to be done like now.

Oh. Maybe a wee burl on the underground?

I figured, if I was going to propose,

who better to ask than the guy who's done it five times.

You want my advice on proposing?

Aye. What's the best way to do it?

-Don't. We've been here before.

-Be serious.

I'm being serious! It only ever ends badly.

Come on, Angus. Let's find someone less cynical.

Are you joking? You're going to help him?

Ellie. You are a star.

-It's no a request...

-DOOR OPENS

Not now, Jimmy, I'm up to my oxters in it.

Kelly-Marie's here to see you.

Is she now?

There's been a mix-up at the bank.

Cal's money's not in.

No mix-up. I cancelled it.

Oh. Right. Well, maybe you could explain it to her.

-Why would I do that when I've got you to do it for me?

-She's up to high doe!

Maybe that's where I want her.

Tell Kelly-Marie I'll be over to see her shortly.

And Jimmy?

The next time I say no interruptions, you listen.

Understand?

-What've you done?

-I haven't done anything!

You must have done something. He's spitting nails in there.

It wasn't a mistake. He's cancelled your money.

I... I have nae. This is humiliating.

Having to come round here with my begging bowl.

That's exactly what Alex wants.

You shouldn't feel humiliated.

No, this is Alex. Twisting things with Lenny, turning him against me.

I know it is. Let me speak to him.

No, no, now's not the time. Come on.

-He says he'll talk to you later.

-Really?

-Aye.

Another wee sample for you.

-So what's this?

-Oysters.

I had a pen-pal on death row that liked oysters.

What happened to him?

He died.

What, from eating oysters?

No, lethal injection.

-How did you meet him?

-Online.

I never actually met him face-to-face what with him

being in Texas, but he'd mail some photos.

Kind eyes. You know, considering what they said he'd done.

Delicious(!)

This is costing more than we agreed, AJ.

First class food, first class prices.

Well, the prices certainly are. As for the quality, that remains to be seen.

Look, there'll be samples of everything else ready for you to taste later, no worries.

So, this man of yours. What had he done?

He went down for a crime he didn't commit.

It was a miscarriage of the American justice system.

Like OJ, only he never got off with it.

What was he meant to have done?

Something about bodies getting put in a mincemeat grinder.

Which is ridiculous, cos he told me he was a vegan.

Death row, eh? Can't imagine anything worse.

I can.

What would be your last meal on the death row, AJ?

Mine would be fajitas. Mainly cos I like saying the word.

Fa-ji-ta.

It'd cheer you up just ordering it, wouldn't it?

My last meal would be what I'm serving tonight.

You're serving eel!

Smoked eel. And it tastes like a dream.

Sounds like a nightmare.

I'd be plugging in the electric chair myself

if I was having to scoff that.

Trust me. It will be unforgettable.

Sure you don't mean inedible? Ha!

Oh, there she is.

-I just need you to try something.

-I just...

-It will take five minutes.

Come on, come on.

Right, get your jaws around these.

We're just talking about death row.

Cheery stuff.

She had a friend on death row she used to write to.

Eh, e-mail. I'm not a saddo.

I don't spend money on stamps and that.

It's just a bit of fun.

It's anything but a bit of fun. It's called hybristophilia.

Being drawn to dangerous and uncontrollable men.

It's bad for you.

Ach, so's fizzy drinks if we're to believe everything in the papers.

Men like that...

they seduce you and charm you, knowing that it's not going to go anywhere.

I suppose once they get you,

before you know it, they've corrupted your own moral code.

It's not their moral code I'm interested in.

What's the verdict on that then, Doctor?

Hmm.

He might not be a bad boy but that fella of yours knows how to tickle a lassie's taste buds.

It's delicious, AJ.

That's just the dress rehearsal. Even better tonight.

What's happening tonight?

I'm not going.

It's not my scene.

Going where?

The opening of Alex's new bar. What did you think all the canapes were for?

-I didn't even get an invite.

-Neither did I.

Luckily, you know someone who can get you on the guest list.

-Can I get on the guest list?

-No.

Ach well, I'll just sit in front of the gogglebox

and scrape the hard skin off my heels.

Er... There's people trying to eat here.

I know. Me. Give us something else to taste.

Oh, what's this?

Looks like something you'd pull out the drain of your shower.

It's caramelised onion.

Don't come tonight.

What?

I've a lot on my plate. I don't want you there.

Alex, the last place I'd want to be is there.

Good. I'm glad we understand each other.

So, how would you want it done?

I wouldn't.

If you proposed to me after, what, four weeks,

-I'd think you were a bunny boiler.

-But if you had to.

Had to?

I dunno.

A trip to New York, diamond ring in a glass of champagne.

-Sounds smashing!

-Not to mention expensive!

You can do it on the cheap.

Yeah, cos that's romantic.

No. Cheap is good. Cheap is very good.

I've got it!

Brilliant!

Beer garden. Glass of wine.

Fizzy wine.

Obviously. And the ring-pull of a can of ginger. Romantic, eh?

No?

-No.

-No.

How's your day with Auntie Amber going?

She told me not to say that word.

What, auntie?

She's just kidding, that's what she likes to be called.

Now drink your fizzy juice and eat your sweeties.

Toasties? Really?

They're not toasties. That's your Brie and cranberry croque monsieur.

Looks like a toastie. Tastes like a toastie.

So, must be a toastie!

So?

We're not having these. I knew this was a mistake.

We could have got a Michelin-starred chef but, no,

Steve Jobs had to get the local pieman in.

It's called community engagement, Amber. You should try it some time. Might make people warm to you.

Enjoy.

I think you're underestimating your punters, Amber.

Couldn't agree more, AJ.

We're not paying you to think, AJ.

We're paying you to cook. And these are out. End of.

Not a problem, boss. Plenty of time to change it up.

But everything else is fine?

Smashing.

Has Auntie Amber seen your impression of her yet?

Don't like it! Don't like it!

Don't like it! Don't like it!

She did like the smoked eel.

Eel?

Animal!

I think your auntie would like to play lots of games this afternoon.

Aeroplanes. Painting. And the jumping game.

She loves that game.

Remember, there's a lot riding on tonight.

I know.

I hope you do.

Because if you mess up there's going to be a lot of upset people.

And if they're upset, AJ, I'm upset.

And my dad hates to see his princess being let down.

He's very protective. Do you know what I mean?

Absolutely.

Moreish these, aren't they?

Damien, you coming?

Hurry up.

Don't want to!

If you move, I'll get you a can of juice and a packet of sweeties.

HE IMPERSONATES AN AEROPLANE

Good boy.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Lenny!

Hello, stranger.

I thought I'd just pop over.

See how you're doing.

Aye, I'm good.

I'm good. I...tried to see you earlier.

I thought you might be in a bit of a state, you know, with the club reopening.

Fresh start for all of us, isn't it?

Lenny... Listen, I was on the phone to the bank earlier and I think there's been a mistake...

Betrayed. That's how I'd feel.

Well, it's best for everyone if...

I thought to myself, Kelly, she's very vulnerable just now,

get over, check out how she is.

Look, Cal should be back soon.

Don't worry about that, I told Amber to keep him away from this.

-This?

-Aye, I want him looked after, safe.

Safe?

So me and you can have a private wee chat.

Lenny, have I done something to upset you?

Have you?

What the...

What's this? My summons?

What?

This. The invite.

It was just left on my desk and I told you I'm not coming tonight.

And I told you I don't want you there.

You do not get to treat me like one of your hareem.

You don't get to mess with my head like you did with Angel

and Kelly-Marie...

Enough. I have never gone there with you. Never.

So what is this?

It's not from me. Must be from AJ.

-Sit down.

-Don't tell me to...

If we're going to have a conversation, Annie, we're going to do it like grown ups.

-Sit down.

-I'll stand.

OK. I'll stand too.

SHE LAUGHS

Look. This is a small place.

There's no point in us trying to avoid each other.

Whatever we...this is, it's over, and that is your decision.

And as long as that's what you want I'll respect it.

No games.

Which means we don't have to hide in doorways from each other.

Yeah, I mean, that's... You saw me?

That's mortifying.

I thought it was kind of sweet.

I do like you, Alex.

I know you do.

-OK...

-I like you, too.

But it's better like this.

Better or easier?

Both.

We're grown up, sensible people.

We can be friends. Can't we?

That's never really worked out for me much in the past.

Most of my exes want me dead or at the very least facially disfigured.

-Friends.

-Friends.

Right, friends it is, then.

Now, I'm pretty busy here, so, if you don't mind.

They talk about you like you're evil.

Well, they say you're an ice maiden.

-Thanks, Alex.

-For?

For understanding.

Are you still here?

If things were different... but I'm with AJ and that's...

That's your role.

Yeah. It is. And I've been playing it for the last 20 years...

Playing?

This, is better than nothing, isn't it?

Yep. Better than nothing.

-HE SCOFFS

-Seriously?

SHE GIGGLES

Seriously.

Want a cup of tea?

-Oh, let me...

-No, no, no. I'll get it.

Doesn't half take some getting used to, you know.

Having your brood round you again.

Sometimes you just, well, you forget the joy of having a family,

you know.

I'd watch yourself from them.

-Who?

-Amber and Alex.

I know they're your flesh and blood

but I just don't think they've got your best interest at heart.

-What you mean, Kel?

-I don't trust them.

Why not?

Alex is diseased. You know, just like his mother.

You know, I tried to warn you off him when you first went out.

But you knew better. I was ignored.

What are you doing?

-Where's the teabags?

-Just there.

Amber, though. She's a good girl.

Done time for me.

I don't think she's wired right.

Have you seen the way she looks at Callum? It's no natural.

-You think?

-Aye, I do.

Five years in prison, that's got to do some damage.

Aye. Just as well I've got you, then, Kelly.

And, you know, I owe you a apology, Kel.

You've nothing to be sorry about.

Oh, no, I mean all that carry on.

Handing the club back over to Alex. It's nothing personal.

Just looking after my kids.

Of course.

Did hurt me at the time, though.

Did it?

Aye, it did. You took Alex in after everything he put me through.

I didn't really have any option, did I? He is my son.

And then Amber comes back and I'm out of Chrome.

You must have thought I forgot about you.

You said Chrome was just short-term. Next thing I know you're buying me out.

Did it hurt you, Kel?

Aye, it did, Lenny. It really hurt.

See, I knew I should have come straight over and squared that.

All that carry on with DI Donald, I just haven't had the time.

I'm sure you were busy.

Of course, you do know it was Eileen Donachie that grassed me up.

-Right.

-You don't seem surprised.

What? No, I am, but...

Guess you're just a better judge of character than I am.

I'm sure she didn't mean it.

The thing that shocked me, she knew about Billy and Martina.

And that was strictly family-only business.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I shouldn't trust Alex after all.

And Amber... Yeah, she could just be in it for the inheritance.

What do you think?

KETTLE WHISTLES

Maybe.

KETTLE CLICKS

Oh, there's the kettle.

There we go.

Drink up. It'll go cold.

I said drink.

So, is that it, is it?

You've nothing to say.

Nothing. To even justify what you've done.

I haven't done anything.

I've sat here listening to you whining, now it's my turn.

Alex. Yeah, I took him in, you know why? Because he's my boy. He's my son!

Amber, she's my baby, and she killed somebody for me.

And as far as the club goes...

I bought you out, Kelly.

I didnae take it!

-I gave you a good price for it.

-I know, but...

I gave you the chance to tell the truth.

But you didn't.

I know it was you who betrayed me to that bitch Donachie and Donald.

Eileen came to me. She used me, no, in fact, she tricked me.

Cos I was...

I was, I was out of my mind, you know, with the fall and what happened to David and...

Aye. I admit it. I messed up. I did. But it was just that one time.

I have always been there for you, Lenny.

I have been nothing but loyal to you.

Loyal?!

You don't even know what the word loyalty means!

I gave you a club. I gave you a career.

I gave you a shot at the good life.

I came back here for you.

I sorted out Billy, I sorted out Martina. For you!

I didn't think it was going to come to that...

I didnae! You know, I stood up at the funeral and asked you,

I asked you in front of everybody to stop the fighting.

-To end the war with Martina. I never wanted it to come to all this bloodshed.

-I was protecting you!

Did you think that she wasnae gonna come and kill you?

When she knew that any second you could tell Alex what she'd done to you?

Did you really, really think that she wouldnae come for you?

I stopped her.

I stopped her.

You...

Sit down.

-I made a mistake.

-No. You knew what you were doing.

-No, I didn't.

-You were jealous - of Alex, of Amber,

of the club, of me having my family around me again.

So you stabbed me in the back!

And now...

I have to deal with it.

Lenny, you don't want to do this.

There's been enough murders round here to last a lifetime.

Oh, Kel.

I'm not going to murder you.

You're going to do it yourself.

CALLUM SINGS TO HIMSELF

Get rid of him, pronto! This little monster's tuned to the moon.

Ach, he's harmless.

Harmless?

Jimmy, three hours in his company and I'm wishing I was back inside.

Listen, Amber, I've still an hour of my shift to do.

Consider this permission to finish early.

All right.

-Did you give him any sugar?

-Look, Jimmy, just take him! NOW!

Cal!

SINGING STOPS

Right, wee one, let's go see Mammy. There we are.

Lenny, please. After everything we've been through, you can't force me to...

I can, Kel.

So, come on. Your pick.

I mean, I don't know what that'll do to your insides.

Maybe you want to go classy.

Have some of these washed down with some of that,

I'll run you a bath - you can do it rock and roll style.

-Lenny, please, I need you to understand that I...

-Sh.

Now, of course, before you make your choice...

..you have to write a note.

Lenny, just let me explain myself.

Too late.

"I'm so sorry." Full stop.

"I can't think of any other way." Full stop.

"Tell Cal I'll always love him." Full stop.

"Forgive me," comma, "Kelly-Marie." Full stop.

"Forgive me, Kelly-Marie."

No. Lenny, no, I...

No, you're right. Let's change it.

"Love, Kelly Marie." Now write it!

Don't do this.

Look... Not for me, forget me.

I'm nobody, I'm nothing. Think about Callum?

He's been through so much already.

He's lost his dad, his wee brother, Alex.

He can't lose me, I'm his mum.

He's got me.

I'm his family.

I'm his blood.

Lenny... I'm pregnant.

Lenny, please, I'm begging you.

You're no, though, are you?

What?

Begging me.

Don't do this.

Lenny, please. You can't come back from this.

Come on, Kel.

Make your choice.

Please, Lenny.

How can you do this?

You've been like a dad to me.

Yeah.

Don't worry. I'll stay with you.

You'll no die alone.

Come on. I'm not a monster.

Please don't let Callum find me. He's just a wee boy.

Amber's under strict instructions not to bring the wee fella

back here until much later.

It'll be Jimmy that'll discover you.

He'll be finished his work in about am hour.

He'll find you, with your note.

He'll be sad, angry, but surprised?

No, not with how unstable you've been lately.

Lenny. Let me try to make it up to you.

Please. Just let me. I didn't mean to hurt you.

I've been let down many times in my life.

But you, you hurt me more than anything.

I'm so sorry.

DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS

Kel? You in?

Mum!

What you doing back, wee man?

Amber demanded I brought him back.

Oh, she did, did she?

So, what's going on here?

We're just having a chat, Jimmy.

Right. You right, Kel?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Callum, is that your new football boots?

-Why don't you try them on for me, eh?

-Aye, in your bedroom, eh?

So, what's going on?

This is the wee piggy that just ran, "Me! Me! Me!"

All the way to DI Donald. Eh?

Tell him you're not a grass, Kel. Tell him. Tell him.

Look me in the eyes...

are you a grass?

How could you!

It was you that begged for Lenny to come back

and sort out the Kennedys.

What were you thinking about?

What're we going to do?

What needs to be done.

Lenny, she's no thinking straight.

You cannae do this.

Look, Grandad! Look!

-They're smashing.

-Let me see them.

Got to think of the wee man.

I've got no choice, Jimmy.

Listen, trust me. I'll keep an eye on her. All right?

For the wee man.

Get your coat.

Right, why don't you go with Jimmy?

Me and your grandpa, we're going to go for a wee walk.

Go to Jimmy. And listen, I'll be...

Why don't you go and say bye to your Grandpa Lenny?

And Callum.

I love you so much. OK? Do you hear me?

Don't you forget that.

I'm going to love you for ever. And ever.

So don't you forget that, OK?

Love you too, Mom.

Jimmy.

Now go.

DOOR SHUTS

You keep your head down, you don't say another word to anybody.

As far as I'm concerned, you don't exist any more.

If I hear you laugh, I'll rip your throat out.

The only reason you're getting to live,

one reason only, that wee boy there.

You remember every morning you wake up,

you're alive on my good grace.

If I hear one more wrong word...

..all my kindness will disappear.

Sorry.

HE PLAYS THE IMPERIAL MARCH FROM STAR WARS

HE TAILS OFF

Just tuning up.

HE TUNES HIS GUITAR

HE SIGHS

Cassie.

Cassie.

Cassie!

DOOR OPENS

You can come out now.

What is this?

Cassie Andrea Edmonds,

I know we've only been together a matter of weeks but in that time,

you have made me happier than I've been in a long while.

So, I just wanted to, er,

make a promise to you in front of...

..well, more people than I imagined, actually, but, erm...

A promise for you.

# We've been going together

# Too long to be vague

# When there's something to say

# If it's not now

# Then it's never

# So I'll say it straight out

# For I have no doubt

# No doubt

# Let's get married

# I love you

# And I want to stay with you

# Let's get married

# Have kids

# Grow old and grey with you

# Let's get married

# Hold hands Walk in the park

# Let's get married

# Let's get married

# For the days when we can do no wrong

# For the bad times

# For the moments when we think we can't go on

# For the family

# For the lives of the children that we've planned

# Let's get married

# C'mon darling Please take my hand

# Come on darling Please take my hand. #

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

They're waiting for us to kiss now.

Prepare yourself, I'm pretty good.

Aced it, didn't I?

You should know, my surname is Evans.

It's perfection!

Yeah, yeah, maybe with a lot of editing.

-God!

-THEY LAUGH

MUSIC: West Coast by Lana Del Rey

# Down on the west coast They got a sayin'

# If you're not drinkin' then you're not playin'

# But you've got the music You've got the music in you

# Don't you?

# Down on the west coast I get this feeling like

# It all could happen

# That's why I'm leavin' you For the moment

# You for the moment boy blue

# Yeah you

# You're flying high at the show I'm feeling hot to the touch

# You say you'll miss me the most I say I'll miss you so much

# Something keeps me really quiet I'm alive I'm a-lush

# Your love, your love My love. #

I swear to God, it's not funny.

-Sounds hysterical.

-SHE SIGHS

He's definitely on the spectrum.

Attention deficit or something.

He's a kid.

Yeah, so was Bible John once.

I can't believe you managed to live with that for so long.

Well, I manage to live with you, so...

Well, I'd definitely do us.

-At least twice.

-Hmm.

INDISTINCT PARTY CHATTER

-You look stunning.

-Thanks.

So do you.

MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

Kelly, are you sure you're not wanting any cheese on toast?

-I said no!

-All right! No need to rip my head off.

Sorry. I'm just not hungry, right?

-That's all you had to say.

-SHE TUTS

Listen, thanks for earlier.

You'll not say anything to Ma, will you?

Cos she'll just worry and I don't want that.

Jimmy, can you please talk to me?

Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.

Thanks.

I won't tell anyone you're a grass.

A grass!

You should know better.

Don't. I know what I did was wrong, but I was pressurised into it.

I'll tell no-one, cos I'm ashamed of you.

You hear me?

Ashamed.

I thought of all people, you would understand.

I can't even look at you.

-I think I nailed it.

-Ah, well done.

You did a great job.

Hey? All that worry for nothing.

-I didn't see you eating anything.

-I did!

-What?

Well, I had an oyster.

MUSIC: Time by Jungle

# I know You know

# Time and time again... #

So, ready to hit the road, Mrs J?

Well, we should stay and listen to the speeches.

Be rude otherwise.

-OK, well, you finish your drink and I'll load up the car.

-Yeah.

# Just hold on tight Don't let in, yeah

# I'll run all right Don't let me

# Just let it out

# Time and time and time and time and time again... #

Can I have a word?

-Sure.

-In private.

# Time and time and time and time and time again. #

Who is she?

-What are you playing at?

-Me?!

Go play house with AJ. I've things to do.

Oh, right, and by that you mean "other women to do."

You're jealous!

Annie, I'm single.

If I want to go with every girl in there, then I will

and you don't get to have an opinion on it, friend.

Well, how do you think that makes me feel, Alex?

-To see you with...

-I don't care.

Do you think it's enjoyable for me to watch you with him?

Suck it up. I told you I had a duty.

Go and do it, then, because I'm not your late night plaything.

-Don't be like that.

-Oh, come on, honey,

I'm trying my hardest here.

I'm holding it together.

I hear what you're saying,

that this isn't happening, that people will get hurt.

I hear you, but don't make me pretend that I agree with you.

We're done here.

No, please, just...

Just listen to me.

OK.

This afternoon, leaving your house,

walking the length and breadth of the street,

people were looking at me.

I thought they were all looking at me like...

You know, like they hated me,

like they could see what I'd done.

And then I realised it wasn't that at all.

They weren't looking at me at all.

I mean, not really.

All they could see was Harry's mother or AJ's wife, or a doctor.

I mean, it's always a doctor.

Even AJ doesn't notice.

I mean there was a part of me that hoped that he might.

I've been the one that's been cheated on

and I know what it feels like -

that you're worthless, that you're not good enough.

So, what? Is this your revenge on him?

How horrible and hellish that feels -

felt...

None of that,

none of that comes close to how miserable I've been

not being able to be with you.

I'm lonely.

And I have been for a long time.

And these past few weeks with you,

I wasn't.

And now? I mean, now, it's even worse.

Now I'm doing everything I can to not to call you in my lunch hour.

Not to find some pathetic excuse to see you and I'm...

SHE SIGHS

I'm tired of it, Alex.

I'm tired of being all these things to everybody else.

I just want to be me.

I just want to be...

Annie.

I've tried ignoring you

and I've tried being your friend

but that doesn't work.

So what does that leave us with, then?

I'm sick of trying to fight against what I want to do...

..fighting against what I really am.

Who I really need.

Who?

I'm going to go out there...

..and persuade my husband to leave the car...

..and I'll expect you to give us some free shots.

OK.

And I want you to stand at the other side of the room where I can see you.

You can flirt with that blonde thing if you want.

I'll need to make it look real.

Hand on her back,

her waist...

You might need to kiss her.

I won't mind.

Good.

And then AJ and I will leave early.

You must have dropped these at the bar.

Stupid of me.

These are the keys to the surgery.

I'll need them.

You'll have to come back for them.

I won't realise they're gone until I get back to the flat.

AJ can't drive though.

He shouldn't have had those shots.

And then I'll nip back in a taxi to get them.

And then..?

Well...

Well, that's the fun bit.

Then...

who knows what will happen.

Annie, what are you saying?

I'm saying...

..that we're having an affair, Alex.

MUSIC: Wicked Games by Parra for Cuva ft. Anna Naklab

# And I wanna fall in love

# No I'm gonna fall in love

# With you

# With you. #

Do you know how embarrassing that is?

You manhandling her knickers right in front of my face?

All I'm saying is back off.

-Ellie's my bub.

-I know. We're just pals.

I've booked us a hotel.

Can check in any time after two.

This doesn't feel right.

It feels seedy, like we shouldn't be doing this.

I've got to stuff my whole life into a bag before tonight.

Molly says I'm running away.

She says I've got everything I need here.

It's not going to be the same without you here, son.

I'm glad I met you.