18/01/2017 River City

You know how you're always banging on about getting more education?

-Maybe he could teach you for a bit.

-If you care about Mum then show her.

Either way, sort yourself out and stop trying to use me to get to her.

You let me make a fool of myself in front of her?!

Me and Scarlett's partnership has been dissolved.

You don't think you're playing with fire?

There's enough of me to go round.

-Who's the fine-looking gentleman?

-No. You steer well clear.

What the hell are you doing?!

Who shot me?

Is this it? Is this what our lives have become?

All relationships have bad days. It'll blow over.

GIGGLING

PETE: Oh, that's my medallion!

-SCARLETT:

-Stop it!

RADIO: Always Like This by Bombay Bicycle Club

Could you turn down the volume a smidge please, pal?

-I could say the same to you!

-What?!

That's better. Cheers, mate.

Whoa, whoa, not so fast.

Are you going to clean this place up at any point?

Did you get out the wrong side of bed this morning?

-You seem...tetchy.

-Tetchy? Why would I be tetchy?

What possible reason would I have to be tetchy?

-What did I do?

-Well, look around you!

Don't sweat it, man.

I'll clear it up once my guest has gone.

Uh-huh. Does Caitlin know you're entertaining a "guest?"

-What's bringing this on?

-I've just...

I've had it up to here.

I don't think this is working out.

Sounds like you're breaking up with me.

You're breaking up with me?

I just don't think that us living together

is the optimum situation for either of us.

Just because I left a bit of a state in the kitchen?

-Come on, buddy.

-It's not just that, though, is it?

You never pay your rent on time or your share of the bills.

And I really, really don't want to be in the middle of it when

the whole Caitlin-Scarlett thing blows up in your face,

-which it will.

-I know, I know.

I'll sort it out, I promise.

I hope you do, mate, for your sake.

But I still need you to leave.

This was only ever meant to be temporary.

I know, but we're having fun.

The two amigos? The two musketeers?

The two Ronnies!

Aye, well, I'm afraid it's a goodnight from me.

I need you to go.

You're slinging me out in the street?

You can stay here till you find something else.

No, no, don't trouble yourself.

I'll be out your hair by the time you get back from work.

There's no need for...

No, no, you've made yourself perfectly clear!

Mate, there's no need for dramatics!

DOOR SLAMS

HE SIGHS

How many alarms do you need to set in the morning?

-Sorry! Did I wake you?

-It's fine.

I just wanted to try and get everything set up for you.

So...how do I look?

You look like a car salesman.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

I'm joking, you look good.

Well, it's my big chance at trainee area manager.

I just want to look the part.

You look fine.

Well...

That was a dream and a half -

me and Robert Redford in his Sundance Kid days,

beautiful starry night, just the two of us!

Well, keep the rest of it to yourself.

I haven't had my breakfast yet.

Are you busy tonight, Suzie?

Depends what the Sundance Kid is up to.

I was just wondering if you might be able to do

a shift behind the bar, give me and Robbie the night off?

Well, of course. What time do you want me?

-About six?

-I'll be there.

It's a date.

Sorted!

Wait up!

You should be back there begging AJ for a second chance.

-AJ was holding me back.

-Holding you back

-by putting a roof over your head?

-He was getting in the way of us.

-There is no "us".

-You don't mean that.

That was the last time.

Of course. Give me a kiss.

Behave, you. Where are you gonnae stay?

Come on, baby. Plant a smacker on me.

You're no' staying at mine, you can forget it.

-You don't mean that.

-Aye, I dae.

-All right?

-Hiya, Bubba.

-All right, Bob?

You harassing my maw?

I'm just trying to convince her to come to the gig tonight.

You should.

I cannae.

Girlie night in, me and Madonna,

just the two of us, all night.

What's with the bags?

That's just my gear for tonight.

-Right. So, you're all set?

-Sure am.

Gonnae bring the house down.

-You don't know what you're missing.

-I'll live.

Come on, Bubba, I'll walk you to your work.

-Goodbye, Pete.

-Catch you later.

Bye, then.

DOOR OPENS

Hello?

Hiya, doll face.

Oh, it's just you.

Who were you expecting?

Your fancy man?

You are my fancy man, God help me.

I thought you might be Drew.

What's with the bags?

They're for the gig tonight.

Is your gig at a jumble sale?

When does Drew get back?

Any time now. I've been doing some research.

What are you researching? The offside rule?

This! And have you forgotten about your son's secret stash?

I'm reading up on wacky backy.

His brain's still forming at his age. He's messing with his mind.

I'm sure it's no' that bad.

It is that bad. And it's the last thing I need.

I've got my interview for college today.

Listen, you're going to smash that interview and don't worry

about Drew. There's a lot of nonsense on the internet.

It hasn't done Cheech and Chong any harm.

My house, my rules.

It's the last thing Drew needs to be doing is smoking dope.

I'm gonnae go through him as soon as he walks through that door.

Listen, I'll talk to the boy.

You've got enough to be worrying about today.

You need to focus on getting into that college.

Get him telt. None of this Cheech and Chong rubbish.

What would you say if I said I'd considered your offer?

My offer?

About me, moving in here.

Oh, aye? And what if the offer's expired?

-DOOR OPENS

-Oh, there's Drew now.

Oh, you're both here.

You can take your bags up to your room

and then your da wants to speak to you.

-What about?

-Just do it.

Dad?

Unless you've got some stories from training, have you?

-What is this about?

-Move! I'm no' joking.

Give us a minute, will you, son?

Fine.

Maybe we should leave this. I'll talk to him later.

You haven't asked him how the trial went.

Go and talk to him about that weed.

Maybe we should give him a minute to decompress?

-If you don't, I will.

-All right.

But I'll talk to him outside, get some fresh air.

Drew!

-Hi, darling.

-How are you feeling?

Like I've been shot.

-Have you been here long?

-No.

Thanks for coming.

You're looking surprisingly well, all things considered.

Aye, well, I feel like death warmed up.

Has Alex been in?

He's just busy with all the care home stuff.

I'll pick you up some things from home. What do you need?

-I've had a wee trim, but I could do with my own razor.

-OK.

Can I bring you a book or a paper or something?

You could borrow my iPad.

You don't need to bother with that.

I'll be out of here before I need them.

-Are they letting you out?

-Well, they've got no choice.

Listen, before I get out of here...

..there's something I need to know...

..about Christmas. You know, the season of good will to all men

and family feuds.

Have I got any apologising to do?

No more than usual.

DOOR OPENS

Morning, Lenny, Ms Murdoch.

Can we have a wee chat?

This isn't really a good time.

He's just out of a coma.

I'm aware of that.

Well, why are you questioning him when the woman who tried

to kill him is still on the loose?

I'm just doing my job,

part of which is asking your dad a few more questions,

so, please, could you excuse us?

I'll stay if it's all the same to you, Inspector.

It's all right, darling.

I can handle myself.

-You sure?

-Yeah. Off you go.

Get yourself a cup of tea.

If you're here to see what I remember, I got nothing.

You don't remember anything?

It's all a bit of a blur.

They're calling it... post-traumatic amnesia.

I'm a medical marvel.

I must admit, when they told me you had memory loss, I was sceptical.

It wouldn't be the first time, eh, Lenny?

Every time I interview you, there's a convenient element of memory loss.

I'll need to take your word for that.

Well, maybe this time, it's for real.

So, you're the DI they've assigned to my case?

A bit of a conflict of interest there, is there no'?

You're close to this case.

Very close.

You've been wanting somebody to put a bullet in me for years.

Only if I can be there to see it.

But in this instance, I think the shooter is probably as dangerous

as you, so I'd quite like to find her and put her back behind bars.

If you do remember anything, let us know.

Anything I can do to help, Inspector.

Before you leave...

..do you think you could pass my water for me?

I'm having a wee bit of difficulty reaching it.

Lionel Messi better watch his back, eh?

What's this about?

Well, the thing is...

-Look, son...

-I don't mind.

-What?

You and Mum getting back together. I don't mind.

I like it.

Really? That's great, son.

Your mum found a bag of weed in your room.

-She what?

-I'm not judging you. I'm cool, I'm down.

-We're both men of the world.

-It's no' mine!

She was a bit upset, she asked me to have a word.

-It's no' mine!

-Look, it's all chill.

She asked me to have a word, I've had a word.

Now we can move on and never mention it again ever.

I'm going down to talk to her.

I don't smoke weed, I've never smoked weed.

I got drug tested when I was away, I've got a certificate!

-Wait, wait, slow down.

-I promise it's no' mine!

-I know.

-Well, whose is it then?

-It's mine.

-Yours?!

-I'm just holding it for a pal.

-Who, AJ?

-Yeah, AJ.

He's a real stoner.

Really?

I know it seems unlikely.

No.

I suppose I can see it now.

So, there you go.

Why did you no' tell Mum?

-I can't.

-Why?

She'd kill me, bringing it into the house.

Look, son, it's a lot to ask,

but would you mind taking the heat for me?

Things are going so well with your mum,

with all of us, I'd hate to run the risk of losing it

over a daft wee bag of score.

Please, son? It's a lot to ask.

I never thought this would be possible,

even a year ago - you, me, your mother.

It seemed like some kind of impossible dream.

Now I...

Now I feel like the...

luckiest man on Earth.

OK, fine.

You're some boy.

You are some boy.

Come here. I love you, son.

On you go, son. I'm right here.

-I'm sorry about the weed.

-So you should be.

Look, I never smoked any of it, I was just holding it for my pal.

"Holding it for a pal?" That's the oldest excuse in the book!

I'm serious. I don't do drugs. How else would I get into football?

Well, whose is it then?

Answer your mum, son. Whose is it?

Why does that matter?

Because I want to know that you're no' hanging about with some junkie.

-I'm no'!

-Is it that Jules?

-No!

I know I'm no' Mum of the Year,

but I thought I brought you up to have more sense.

Hey, this isn't down to you.

He brought weed into the house.

He's old enough to take responsibility for his own mistakes.

Dad's right. I'm sorry.

Your mum's got a lot on her plate.

She's got the college interview today. We need to support her.

PHONE BEEPS Oh.

I need to love you and leave you.

Who's that?

It's Bob, he wants to speak to me about the gig tonight.

And, you...

drugs are for mugs, all right?

Do what your mum says.

No more drugs in this house. Do you hear me?

I'm sorry, all right?

What time's your interview at?

-I'm no' gonnae bother.

-How?

You know me, too much like hard work.

Away and go see Jules.

Hello. Everything all right?

Oh, it's not your dad, is it?

He hasn't taken a turn for the worse?

You're the first person to ask after him.

I'm sure that isn't true.

It is. He's like a pariah around here.

Well, people can be very judgmental.

Do you know, I'm the only one who's been to visit him.

Other than his minions who like to keep him sweet.

Do you think he would like a new visitor?

-You?

-Well...

-No, you don't have to do that.

-No, no, no, I'd like to.

The thing is, he's got short-term memory loss.

He wouldn't know you.

I don't want to unsettle him.

So, he doesn't remember anything?

Nothing.

Oh, poor thing.

HE GIGGLES

-Pete!

-I thought this was a booty call?

I'll "booty call" you! We need to talk about Lenny.

Why?

We need to make sure Lenny knows we're no' trying to wriggle

out of the deal.

-Aren't we?

-The guy is a psychopath!

If he remembers we owe him money, of course we pay him back.

If he doesn't remember...

I know what he's capable of doing. I'm paying him back.

Look, this is a gift.

We should take advantage of it.

-And there's something else I'd like to take advantage of.

-Pete!

-PHONE RINGS

-Hold on a second.

Drew. What's up?

Mum says she's no' going to her interview.

Give me five minutes.

Better make it 20.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Hold tight.

Now, where were we?

You were just leaving.

No, no, no.

-Weren't we somewhere in THIS neighbourhood?

-Pete!

-You're not jealous are you, darling?

-As if!

Look, I've got to extricate myself from that situation gently.

I've got Drew to think about

and Caitlin's going through a hard time.

They rely on me.

I don't want to let anyone down.

But you...

..you're the only woman for me.

Pete!

You look like you've seen a ghost.

It was touch-and-go.

I've had worse.

I don't doubt it.

You gave me the last rites?

I keep my promises, Lenny.

Now you keep yours.

What's that supposed to mean?

You once told me if you had a second chance at life,

you'd do things differently.

This is your second chance.

Aye.

You don't sound convinced.

-Och, it's not that, it's just...

-It's just what?

When will you ever learn?

Somebody shot me in the back, Father.

When they're six feet under, then I'll grab my second chance.

By then, it'll be too late.

Maybe some things are just meant to be, eh?

Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?

I just wasn't sure if you'd be awake.

Excuse me?

Hello, I'm Suzie Fraser.

Michael Mulvaney.

Amber thought you might like a visitor, so here I am.

I should be going.

No, no, no. You don't have to go, Father.

Remember what I said.

-Nice meeting you.

-And you.

What's this?

I know you don't remember much about before the accident.

It wasn't an accident.

Of course, dreadful business.

But the funny thing is, Lenny,

you and I were getting on quite well.

Best of friends, were we? Yeah, that sounds like me.

Well, this is awkward, but...

you and I were more than just friends.

Eh?

DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

CHATTER ON TELEVISION

Thought you were off seeing Bob?

I was.

But a little bird told me you're turning your back on destiny?

I'm watching Bargain Hunt.

-So?

-It was a stupid idea, me going back to college.

I mean, who was I kidding? I should be here for Drew.

This isn't about Drew.

I need to keep him on the straight and narrow.

-This whole weed thing...

-He's hardly Pablo Escobar.

He was helping out a friend, he's a good kid.

And that's down to you.

I failed him too many times. He needs me now.

I'm here.

We'll manage.

-It's no' the right time.

-It's exactly the right time.

-Gonnae just drop it?

-Stop making excuses.

This isn't about Drew, or the weed.

You're scared. And there's no need to be.

You can do anything you put your mind to.

Except watch Bargain Hunt apparently.

Come on. Get up. Come on!

You're going to that interview, and you're going to knock them dead.

What if I don't?

Then they're idiots. And they're missing out on one hell of a woman.

That isn't going to happen.

You're...brilliant and clever and

strong and brave.

They'd be lucky to have you.

And so am I.

You still want to move in?

If you'll have me.

Well...why don't you bring your stuff upstairs?

You can unpack, and help me choose an outfit.

Ooh...

I can help you get change, if you like.

What you waiting for?

Ooh-ooh!

-SHE GIGGLES

-Come here!

Fancy some fizz?

They liked you, then?

You are looking at the new trainee area manager for the brewery.

That's amazing.

Congratulations, I'm... I'm chuffed for you.

Yeah. Doesn't start for six months, but er...I'll get a proper pension,

health care discount, career development opportunities...

In ten years, I might even qualify for a company car.

Ten years? You might be deid.

Cheers(!)

Aw, come on, it's... it's a wee bit stingy.

Hey! Don't rain on my parade.

Sorry.

You're right. Come here.

I'm pleased for you.

So...what are we doing tonight?

Tonight...

Our celebration? For the job?

Oh, yeah. Erm...

Why don't we ring round, get a gang together and...go dancing?

Could try that new place up the town?

Or we could stay in...

Haven't really been out properly for ages.

Well, we've...not stayed in properly for ages.

Yeah, well, sharing a bottle of wine and...being in bed by ten o'clock

doesn't exactly scream "celebration" to me.

We don't have to be in bed by TEN, but...

..it'd be nice to spend the evening together.

Just the two of us.

That's how I'd like to celebrate.

Is this because of...

what happened at the hotel?

That was just a one-off.

Do you know what? You're right.

I'm being selfish, let's...stay in.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

It's your night.

I'll put this in the fridge.

Haw, you!

-Aye, you.

-Hi, Caitlin.

Don't act all innocent.

Drew's got a brilliant opportunity. I don't want to see him screw it up.

Neither do I.

-Is it yours?

-Is what mine?

-The weed.

-What weed?

It doesnae take Columbo to work out who he's protecting.

I'm sorry, but I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.

This is a friendly warning.

Drew better no' have anything more to do with drugs.

If I have to tell you again, I'll no' be so friendly.

I've never smoked weed in my life!

You're lucky I need to go to an appointment.

I promise I've got nothing to do with this, Caitlin.

I'm watching you.

You look lovely.

Why does your mum think I'm some kind of stoner?

-I'm going to kill her.

-She practically attacked me in the street.

-I'm sorry, I can explain.

-I didn't know you smoked.

-I don't.

Your mum seems to think otherwise.

I had to cover for somebody.

So? What's that got to do with me?

Look - she got the wrong end of the stick,

I'll talk to her when she gets back.

Although that won't be for a while, and the flat's empty, so...

Who you covering for?

Doesn't matter.

It does when I'm having to take the blame.

Look - I promise I'll sort it.

Why don't we just go back to the flat...?

If you're protecting someone at my expense, I deserve to know.

-I know, it's just...

-What?

-I cannae.

-Then I guess we're done here.

Jules...

It's my da's.

-Your dad's?

-Well...it's no' even his,

it was all a big misunderstanding.

My dad dropped some weed in the hoose,

-but he was holding it for a pal.

-Why?

-I don't know.

And why did you have to take the blame?

Things have been going so well between him and my maw lately and...

he didn't want to jeopardise it.

-Yeah, but...

-Look. I promise I'll sort it, OK?

OK. You'd better tell your mum that it's nothing to do with me though.

I know. I'm sorry you got dragged into it.

-Keep me out of it next time.

-I did. You know what she's like.

SHE SIGHS

Are we good?

Uh-huh.

So...

do you want to go back to mine, or...?

Or we could...we could just have lunch.

That's cool too.

Well, look, we've got Murdoch Enterprises

and your dad's safely consigned to the hospital,

and he's not going to get out any time soon

so why don't you just... take a day off?

-Oh. Is that a proposal?

-Sadly, I have to go to work.

Can you no' sign yourself a wee sick line?

Oh, original.

I need to go and see him,

find out what he remembers.

-Still can't remember anything?

-No' as far as I know.

Well, that can change.

Exactly.

-Is everything all right?

-Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?

What time do you need to be in work?

Now.

Go in a wee bit late.

Come on - live a little. They'll wait for you.

They're ill. Some of them CAN'T wait.

Natural selection. Less patients to see when you get there.

Sometimes you frighten me.

And that is why you love me.

I cannae believe I got in. I'm only going back to school!

Ya dancer! I knew you'd blow them away.

I'm proud of you, darlin'.

Thanks for the pep talk earlier. It really did the trick.

All part of the service.

A bottle of your finest effervescent wine, please, barkeep.

Oh. Celebrating something?

Caitlin's going back to college.

Really? I didn't know you were even thinking about it.

That's great news.

She's going places!

Oh, stop it. Just trying something out.

-Champagne?

-That's what they call it.

"Champagne for my real friends - real pain for my sham friends."

Is er...that OK?

Perfecto.

Uh-uh. It's on the house.

I always said you had excellent taste in men.

Really? Are you sure?

Of course.

I'm really proud of you, Caitlin.

And er...

Jenny would be too.

That makes three of us.

To the future.

Check us out - pure grown up and that!

-BOTH:

-Cheers!

Mmm...

Pour another one. I'm away to the wee boys' room.

Caitlin, have you seen Pete?

-Aye, he's having a slash.

-Let him know that I've packed away

the rest of his stuff so he can pick it up whenever he's ready.

-That was quick.

-Least I could do after kicking him out.

-You kicked him out?

-Well...I asked him to leave.

I mean, it was all very amicable to start with, but...

Where's Caitlin?

What did you say to her?

Caitlin!

Caitlin... Hang on.

Caitlin!

I-I'm sorry...

Let me explain.

God... I thought I was in better shape than this.

I'll have to... I'll have to get some exercise.

Aye, you can start by taking a hike.

Look. Hear me out.

-So you can take me for a mug again?

-It's not like that.

You said you wanted to move in wi' me.

You made me think it was cos you were serious.

But the whole time, you were just playing me.

-I wasn't.

-You failed to mention that AJ had kicked you oot.

He gave me the push I needed.

I've been thinking for ages about...

you and me, about taking the next step, but...

I didn't think you would fly with it so I bottled it.

You're at it.

I'm not, dollface. I swear.

You and Drew are my whole life.

When...AJ asked me to leave it was like...

it was like a message from...

the King himself.

Now's the time, seize the day.

I'll seize something else if you lie to me ever again, Peter Galloway.

I won't. Cross my heart.

It's a good day.

Let's not ruin it.

So...

Can I stay?

You can stay.

On the couch.

You won't regret it. I promise.

I want to make you as happy as you make me.

MOBILE RINGS

Scarlett. Light of my life.

That's an offer I CAN'T refuse.

Sorry to barge in...

I've got a patient due in in er...three minutes.

I wouldn't have come unless it was really important.

I'm listening.

I need your...medical opinion.

Are you ill?

No. It's my dad.

Go on.

He's talking about leaving the hospital.

Well, you have to speak to his consultant.

Is he going to make a full recovery?

That's hard to say.

Oh...come on, I'm not going to

sue you for malpractice for getting it wrong.

What's your educated guess?

I am not a specialist, Amber. OK? You have to talk to the hospital.

I need to know if he's going to get his memory back.

Why?

Well, I'm worried about him.

I mean, he...he remembers some things but not others...

It's unsettling him.

I think he's scared.

Lenny? Scared(?)

He's got post-traumatic amnesia.

It's not unusual, given the circumstances.

Yeah, I know that much.

And look - there's no way of knowing

how much of his memory's going to come back, if any.

I mean, it could happen this afternoon or...

not at all.

It's a waiting game.

If I was you, I'd be praying

that he NEVER gets some of his memories back.

He's still my dad.

I know.

But some things are better left forgotten, eh?

Right, well, erm...I've got patients.

Thanks.

Oh...

-What are you doing here?

-What kind of welcome's that?

You moved out. You packed a bag, it was all very dramatic.

I'm in the process of moving out.

I needed some quiet time to

come to terms with the... change in my circumstances.

It's a big day for me.

I've got to be in tip-top condition for the gig tonight.

Need to get my head straight.

Listen...

Sorry for dropping you in it with Caitlin.

No sweat, man.

It's all sorted.

You think it's a good idea moving in with her,

-given...everything?

-It'll be fine.

These are real people, with real feelings.

I know that.

I mean - you can't have your cake and eat it as well.

Aye.

But what if you CAN?

Sorry?

Well, what if you CAN have your cake, and eat it too?

You can't. That's... the whole point.

Aye. But what if there are two cakes?

Then I could.

Pete... These aren't cakes.

These are human beings.

Very dangerous human beings.

They're beautiful women and I want to make them both happy.

I'm not going to let anyone get hurt.

Is there a brew for me?

Have this one. I need to get back to the Oyster anyway.

He's gone.

Aye, I heard the door.

So er...are we going to have a little "afternoon delight"?

Pete, we need to talk.

As the King famously once said,

"A little less conversation, a little more action, please."

Pete, I've told you. It's over.

From here on, we're business partners and nothing else.

What's the point in stopping our office romance, honey pie?

I cannae do it behind Caitlin's back any more. It's no' right.

I don't like what I've become.

Running about, hiding, cheating.

God forgive me. It's no' who I am.

Babydoll, please.

I explained.

We've got a lot of stuff going on with Drew just now,

-now's not a good time.

-Do I look daft? Don't answer that.

You don't look daft. You look gorgeous.

You look delectable. You look ravishing.

Pete, stop it, I'm serious.

So am I.

Look... Let me just get this gig out the way.

Then I can... speak to her with a clear head.

Sort everything out.

I'm no' a home-wrecker.

I cannae be responsible for breaking up a family.

You're not breaking up anything.

We're having a good time.

Mm?

No-one needs to get hurt here.

Frankie, what can I get you?

Muffin? Scone? Millionaire's shortbread?

Just a flat white.

There he is...

All right?

So, how did it go? Are you Shieldinch's Ronaldo yet?

No, it was... It was fine.

That'll be £2, please.

You going pro?

Maybe.

What's up with you?

Nothing.

Have they got you on that, like, bull hormone?

Testosterone?

What you on about?

Footballers are pumped full of that stuff? Vitamin injections, whatever.

Is that why you're being weird with me?

How am I being weird?

Never mind. Anyway...

if you're going pro, you'll be earning a lot of money, won't you?

Maybe.

Well, in that case, you can pay for my coffee.

And I WILL have some of that millionaire's shortbread. Thanks.

That was a valuable lesson about women you just got there, Drew.

Well worth the £4 that you now owe me.

Is my da in?

I don't keep his diary.

What's YOUR problem?

Nothing. I left him upstairs.

Cool. I'll go and see him.

By the way - I took the heat for you.

What?

-The weed.

-The what?

My maw found your weed, but don't worry -

I said it was mine.

I've literally no idea what you're talking about.

My dad told me. (It's all good.)

-You've got that wrong, Drew...

-DOOR SHUTS

PETE CHUCKLES LASCIVIOUSLY

Stop it, you!

I mean it. That's the last time.

Dad? Are you...?

SCARLETT GASPS

Just wait, son!

-I can explain.

-What is wrang with you?!

-You've got this wrong.

-No, I got YOU wrang. I covered for you.

We-We're both men of the world... I love your mum.

You've a funny way of showing it.

Have you never been where I am? Caught between two women?

You like them both, can't pick? Enjoying the attention?

No. I'm nothing like you.

You ARE like me.

You're my son...son.

We're just the same.

Cursed with the old Galloway animal magnetism...

I am nothing like you!

You've ruined everything.

Ah, there she is. The home-wrecker!

-You watch your mouth, you.

-Don't tell me what to dae!

-What's going on?

-Ask your maw.

What's wrong, Ma? Are you all right?

Nothing, Bubba. Let's go home, I'll tell you about it there.

Aye, go on. Go and hide in your house.

-What's your problem?

-Her!

You better wrap it, pal.

-Bubba, come on.

-Wait! I want a word with you later.

And you.

(Come on...!)

Bob...

Are we still all right for the gig tonight?

You're unbelievable.

Son...

Son!

Where've YOU been?

-Why?

-Why?!

Cos I'm your mother and you're still in the bad books, my boy.

-Drew... Can I talk to you, son?

-I've got nothing to say to you.

What's going on?

Nothing, just a...misunderstanding about the drugs, that's all.

You're full of it.

Enough!

Caitlin, could you... give us a minute, please?

Fine. But listen to your dad, Drew.

We just want what's best for you. Remember that.

First of all... I am unbelievably sorry.

You have every right to be angry with me.

You don't get it, do you? I never want to speak to you again.

I'm going to dedicate myself to...to winning back your trust.

I swear to you I am.

Don't bother.

Don't tell your mum, son.

You're unbelievable AND you're a user.

I can see why you'd think that, but...

I can explain. I promise you.

Go on, then. Explain.

Artists...live by a different code to normal folk.

Artists?

Elvis, Jagger... Tiger Woods.

Having an ability is a...a gift and a curse.

You'll find that out yourself.

Can you hear yourself?

I love your mum.

I'm mad about her, but...

sometimes the...

the music takes over.

I'm a...

I'm a vessel.

You're a joke!

Look, son, you can't tell her.

It would destroy her. I'll sort it out, I promise.

Fine. I won't tell her.

Oh...

Oh, thank you, son.

I'm going to make you proud of me again. I promise.

I'm not doing this to keep your secret.

I'm doing this so she doesnae get hurt.

So I'll no' tell her...

so long as you promise to never come near us again.

-I can't promise that.

-Fine by me, I'm telling her...

Ah...!

I'll be there for you.

When you need me.

I won't.

Right...

What's going on? I can tell that something's upset you.

I don't want to talk about it.

If you don't tell me,

there was a crowd of folk on Montego Street who will.

-Bob, it's so humiliating.

-What is?

Pete Galloway.

What about Pe...?

Oh, no...

No, Ma, no!

Aye.

-I'm going to kill him!

-Don't.

If he thinks he's playing at the Pop-Up, he's another thing coming.

-Let him play.

-After he...

..wi' you?!

-No chance.

-Oh, darlin', I've been so stupid.

No, you've no'.

Pete Galloway?!

-Aye!

-Is he no' with Caitlin McLean?

It's complicated.

HE SIGHS

Well...it's over now.

It is...over, isn't it?

Aye, definitely! Don't know what I was thinking.

Please don't cancel his gig.

I don't want to attract any more attention to it.

Fine... I won't cancel his gig, but I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

-Don't, Bubba!

-I cannae just let him away with this but!

You're on Community Payback, do you want to go to the jail an' all?

Look, it was my mistake.

Please just let it go.

Pete Galloway?

HE SIGHS

Rethought your accommodation plans now, have you?

I'm moving in over the road.

We've got Drew to think about.

The boy needs a father figure,

and what better father figure to him than...his father?

What does HE think of these plans?

-He'll be fine.

-Didn't seem fine

about half an hour ago, in the middle of Montego Street.

That's...just more evidence

this is exactly what he needs.

Is it what Caitlin needs?

Trust me, AJ. Everything's brilliant.

As you said - I'm having my cake and I'm eating it.

And you get...

to have the flat back to yourself.

Pete, mate, you're making life very difficult for yourself.

It's the artist's way, my friend.

Oh, aye, that's right, aye.

And what's this about...Drew taking the blame for "my weed"?

Ah, right.

Yes. Now...

His mum was taking medicinal marijuana.

He must have got his wires crossed.

Caitlin has?

You see, that's interesting cos er... I thought that was YOUR game.

All right.

Look...

It's not hers. I'm sorry.

The wee man must have picked up the wrong end of the stick.

I'm not surprised. Seeing as YOU can't get your story straight.

Drew just got confused somehow. I'll put him right.

Pete...I don't want to be a passenger in your car crash.

No problem. Leave it to me.

I'll need your keys.

-Eh?

-You're supposed to be moving out. You'll not need them.

Just close the door after you on your way out.

'If you leave your name and number,

'I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Bye!'

Robbie, it's me.

Again.

Look, I'm getting really worried now.

Can you call me as soon as you get this, please?

MUSIC: Another Love by Tom Odell

How you feeling?

Better.

Been like Partick Cross all morning in here.

-Who's been in?

-Some of the troops. Mulvaney.

Your pal, Suzie, she dropped by.

Did she? That was nice.

I've brought you some of that stuff you asked for.

Your razor, some toiletries

and that book you were reading.

If I knew I'd be fussed over like this, I'd have got shot years ago.

Well, it's not like you didn't have plenty of opportunities.

Aye. Right enough.

I'm glad you didn't die, Dad.

YOU'RE glad?!

I am.

I'll tell you...

When I get my hands on Belinda, she's gonna pay.

Nobody takes a pop at me and gets away with it.

-All finished here?

-Thank you.

You can er...head off, I'll take over from here.

What happened to your date with Robbie?

-Looks like he made other plans.

-Ah.

Everything's fine.

Well, that's what I thought,

then, boom - single at 60.

Well, hiding your head in the sand won't help.

I'm not hiding my head in the sand.

And you're 65 if you're a day.

Don't take it out on me!

It's not my fault you're like chalk and cheese.

Robbie's a...sparkly person. Always has been.

You're lucky to have him, because you, Gary...

you're not sparkly, are you?

I'm sorry?

You're boring. Don't get me wrong, you're perfectly pleasant.

You're...neat, clean, polite.

And I'm sure you'll make an exemplary...

trainee manager.

Moping around here won't help.

Why don't you go and join him?

Try and have some fun for once.

-Excuse me...

-Thank you.

HE SIGHS

'If you leave your name and number,

'I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Bye!'

# I...

# I who have nothing

# I...

# I who have no-one

# Must watch you

# Go dancing by

# Wrapped in the arms of somebody else... #

All right?

# And it's I who loves you... #

I need to tell you something.

What's that?

# I love you... #

It's a bit awkward.

Oh, I'm sorry -

I know what you're going to say and I'm afraid the answer's no.

You know what I'm going to say?

Me and Pete are back together, Bob.

He's moving in, you've missed the boat.

And you're a wee bit on the small side for me, if I'm honest.

You think...?

No. God, no!

All right, calm doon.

Look, I'm sorry, but...no, it's no' that.

It's about Pete.

# I love you... #

-What about him?

-Look, he's...

-The thing is...

-Spit it oot!

# I love you... #

He's been having a...

..a thing...with my ma.

What kind of thing?

# You... #

A thing! A...

(A sex thing.)

An affair.

Look...

I'm sorry.

What's it got to do with you, you wee plamph?!

Plamph?

I'm just taking a quick break, I'll be back in five minutes.

-Is this true?

-I...I can explain.

You've been playing about with that tramp?

Ho! My ma's not a tramp.

Scarlett Mullen? Really?!

You! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Hey, watch yourself.

Mind your ain business, shrimp!

-Shrimp?

-Leave him alone.

You've got a brass neck showing your face here.

-Caitlin...

-It's not... It's not how it seems.

Save it. You're welcome to him.

I don't want him. You can have him!

-I don't want him either!

-Girls, girls...

Does the word "polyamory" mean anything to you?

Poly bags?

No, no, it means erm...

if you have a...a relationship with more than one partner.

Like erm...gorillas or... elephant seals.

Well, put this in your trunk. We're done!

Dollface...

Don't know what I was thinking. See you later, Bob.

Scarlett...!

I'm...

I'm sorry, babydoll, I...

I made a mistake.

You're not the only one.

It's you, it's... It's only...

-It's only ever been you.

-Save it.

You've let me down for the last time.

I was an idiot to trust you again.

But I love you.

You don't even know the meaning of the word.

You keep away from me, you sad act, and keep away from Drew.

You're dead to us now.

I don't want to say I told you so, but...

This is absolutely

the best thing that could have happened.

I'm footloose and fancy-free.

I can plough... any furrow I come across.

I couldn't be happier.

-Pete, I'm...I'm worried about you.

-I'm great!

I'm better than that. I'm...

I'm magic!

Mate...

DOOR OPENS

How's the patient?

I brought you some flowers.

I'm glad you're here.

Flatterer!

-We have to have a word.

-Oh, yeah?

You seem...you know, like a lovely lady...

You'll have me blushing.

And I'm sorry about what happened before, and...

I mean, you obviously care a lot for me.

Well...

I don't remember you.

Yet.

So, whatever it is...

what we had before...

it obviously wasnae very important to me.

You get what I'm saying?

You don't have to protect me, Leonard.

Ah, come in, Father. Come in.

Oh, I...thought I'd see how you were doing, but er...

I see you're in safe hands.

I'll come back later.

I'm not protecting you.

I'm the last thing you should be worrying about right now.

Now, let's just concentrate on getting you better.

Now - I'll go and see if I can find a nurse,

and put these in some water.

HE SIGHS

I'm sorry.

You didn't answer your phone.

Yeah, I met a pal and we just... had some drinks.

I called a few times.

No signal.

It's early, we could still go to this.

I'm working.

I thought my mum was looking after the pub.

She was, but I sent her off.

I really am sorry.

Yeah.

You said.

SHE SNIFFS

FOOTSTEPS

You all right, Mum?

Fine, pal.

I need to tell you something.

What now?

It was his weed.

I took the blame for it.

Why?

I don't know, he...begged me.

He's good at that.

-There's something else.

-What?

HE SIGHS I'm sorry, Mum, I caught them...

together, earlier the day.

Him and Scarlett Mullen.

Why didn't you tell me?

He begged me not to.

Said it would wreck everything.

He was right.

I'm sorry.

It's no' your fault, son. This is all on him.

Do you want to...watch something?

I just want to be on my own for a bit.

You sure?

Sure.

('Night, Mum.)

MUSIC: Wrong Side by Angela McCluskey

Come on, then...

Have a seat. It'll be OK.

That was a bad gig.

I thought you were very...

"Very"?

Very real.

Thought you were very real.

Authentic.

Yeah...

Yeah.

That's been said about me.

I should see about getting more gigs in town. Bigger venues.

The Pop-Up isn't the right crowd for me.

I don't think they get how...

real I am.

How you feeling...

about...everything?

It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Really?

I should go and see Caitlin.

I don't think that's a...good idea.

Or Scarlett?

Have you got a death wish?

Maybe in the morning.

What's going on with you, Pete? You're not yourself.

Don't worry about me, kid.

We're back together.

The two amigos, the two Musketeers.

The Two Ronnies.

MUSIC: Wrong Side by Angela McCluskey

SHE SNIFFS

Suzie...

You OK?

Come here.

Oh, what do you want, darling?

I don't like having the wool pulled over my eyes.

You catch my drift?

Come here, closer.

I want to give you the one chance here to come clean.

Were we ever an item?

Well...

I know you're lying.

See, I remember.

I remember everything.

So why don't you turn round, walk out that door,

and don't come back?

DOOR SLAMS

You're getting out today?

How's my businesses been running without me?

You're no' trying to keep any unpleasant surprises from me?

-I'm not asking you to poison him, just...took his meds.

-OK.

She's no' who she says she is. Nobody's any idea where she came from.

-And what is the plan for tomorrow night?

-Eh?

Burns Night. You were the obvious choice.

-But I've put you down to do a reading.

-What?!

And what about Andy? How much do you care about him?

If you leave - there's no coming back.

I saw them kissing.