30/08/2011 River City

I've been looking into organising a five-a-side tournament.

Do it as a fundraiser for the veterans' charity.

-That's amazing.

-I'd an idea for the shop across the road.

-And you've come to me, why?

-I need somebody to help me with money.

-I don't think it's gonnae work.

-I'm not sure you've thought if you want to back out

on an arrangement we shook on.

You're jealous. You still want me and it cuts you up that I'm with Leo.

Still interested in the arcade?

Why would you ask me a question like that?

I might be able to help you get it.

-Good morning, Zinnie.

-Is it?

Catch you later.

MURMURED CONVERSATION

..it's a joke, right.

-Get in their face. Don't let them...

-Hey!

He's the Special One.

Aye, very good.

-So is this your secret weapon?

-Not at all.

Looking forward to the kickabout. Actually quite chilled about it.

Catch you on the pitch.

Kickabout nothing.

Play to win, Deek. Play for the jersey.

-What jersey?

-The Shieldinch jersey! Got to show these incomers.

Come on, I'll take you for a coffee.

Want to run my game plan past you.

-I thought we were just meeting before the game?

-Deek, son.

I want to make you my captain.

Oh. Well, then(!)

Got to concentrate on the task ahead, son.

Total commitment, Deek. Total commitment.

Finally!

-I'm on Bebo!

-Then you'll just have to wait.

Get your cereal. There's milk.

-She said she'd get it.

-Who's she? The cat's mother?

You two are getting cheekier every day.

Me? What have I done?

-Come on! People are waiting on me.

-This is work, Conor!

-Don't let them talk to you like that.

-Forget it. I'll get it later.

-Hey, get back here!

-Leave it. I can't be doing with a big argument.

I swear, those two have got worse since...

Since what?

Nothing.

-Oh, let me guess. This is all my fault?

-I never said that.

You were about to. No chance of forgive and forget in this house?

I'll just go and get some vodka for their cornflakes(!)

See? That's the kind of mouthiness they're picking up on.

-They never used to talk to Leyla like that.

-I don't believe it!

I'm to blame for how they speak to Leyla now?!

I've had enough of this, I really have.

-Why can't you pick him up?

-I've got something important on.

Please, Mum. I'll owe you.

Fine.

Don't think you're coming off best in this deal.

Only way we're going to beat them is if we're playing

in a diamond formation, right?

I want you in a sliding midfield position, punting the ball forward.

Diamond formation??

It's a footballing term, Stella.

Aye, what, from the 1930's?

You can forget all about your "sliding midfield."

How do you know so much about five-a-side?

As long as you've got somebody up front, you're all right.

You'd be amazed how fast five-a-side is.

Er, no, I wouldn't! Because I've actually played it!

You'll know it's all about putting in a bit of effort

-and building up a sweat, then?

-Oh, you reckon?

-Sounds good to me.

Bit of skill wouldn't go amiss, right enough.

Stay solid at the back.

-Make sure your team's fit and grafters.

-Aye, I'd go for that.

Er, who's the manager here?

-Right, we still need a keeper.

-Why don't you play in goals?

Give your instructions from between the posts.

Nah, I don't really believe in that player-manager thing.

Splits the attention, you know? No, we need a goalie.

Then we work on the assumption we'll score more than we lose.

-If only one of the boys was an out and out striker.

-I'm a striker.

We're talking football here, Stella. Not netball.

I've never played netball in my life.

Played a lot of football, but. Including five-a-side.

-There we go. One problem solved.

-Are you joking? Thanks, anyway, doll.

Take the sugar away, Don't want my star midfielder getting fat!

PHONE BEEPS

Oh, hang on.

Oh, no!

Jimmy can't make it.

I was counting on him to break a few legs.

They're getting very disrespectful, the pair of them.

-What, and that's new?!

-It's getting worse.

Please may I have cup of coffee, Michael. If that's OK with you?

-Of course you can, Zinnie.

-Thank you so much, Leyla.

OK, OK. It's not your fault.

I'm just saying, if we're all going to be living here harmoniously,

-we have to be more polite.

-Shouldn't that include you?

DOOR OPENING

-Hello?

-Hey!

-All right, Zinnie?

Mick. Is it all right if we use the health centre this afternoon, to get changed in?

Aye, suits me. I can do a bit of work before I get my kit on.

Got a number seven for me?

Er, about that. I've promised too many people a game.

I thought Al would turn me down and Chick not turn up, but they're coming.

-So?

-I can't drop them.

It is an servicemen's gig, after all.

-We need a ref, though.

-You want me to ref?!

-Ah, come on!

-Er, politeness?

-You or Gabe.

-Gabe?! Referee?!

-Exactly.

Oh. Well, if I have to.

I was thinking. This whole thing is about raising money, isn't it?

That's the bit that might not work out so well.

Well, you need to make an event of it.

An event? A bunch of old guys kicking a ball around?

-Hey! Less of the old.

-You'll certainly feel your age in the morning.

That's the most running you've done in a long time.

I was thinking, why don't I put together a cheerleading team?

-That'd be great, Zinnie.

-There's two of you already.

-You'd only need one more person.

-Me? Not on your life!

It could be fun. I could teach you some moves.

Oh, I'd love that(!) Zinnie, I'd rather die.

Now who's being rude? At least lend a hand putting costumes together?

As long as I don't have to prance around with pom-poms.

Thanks, girls. Whatever you do, it all helps.

I just thought we should touch base.

No problem.

-I'm working on my side of things. You?

-Yeah, well I've done my sums.

Money will be ready by this evening. Just one thing niggling me.

I'm depending on you.

-You've got nothing to sell.

-I know how to pave the way for you.

We discussed this. You can't do it without me.

So you're going to talk to Leo for me?

In a manner of speaking.

I'll have him come running to you.

The only thing that he's really interested in the business is his partnership with his big brother.

If he thought he couldn't trust his own brother...

DOOR OPENING

I was just making myself a wee cup of coffee. Can I get you one?

No?

Just thought I'd ask.

You know what I'd like?

You to knock that door before you come in. Remember?

I was just being civil!

Sorry!

I've no interest in sickening the Brodies' happiness.

-I just want to do a deal.

-In order to clinch the deal,

-someone has to sicken their happiness.

-They've hacked you off!

Hey, I don't want to know, all right?

None of my business. You just give me the word.

I'd better get to work, then.

Of course, in my day, I could've just stepped out here and shouted

-and I'd have eleven decent players lining up.

-That a fact?

Nowadays, of course, all the youngsters want to do

is play their stupid computer games.

Not wee Stuart, though. He won't be like that,

I'll make sure of that. He'll be Scotland's answer to Messi.

Even the older guys,

-they're all hill-walking or doing zumba, whatever that is.

-Raymond, Eileen.

Don't talk football. The last thing he needs is encouragement.

I talk my football on the park.

We'll see about that.

Raymond, it's only a friendly, but these army guys,

they play to kill. I'll try holding them back,

but highly trained men like that...

He'll regret that. Psychological tactics?

It's an old trick. Won't work on me.

So, the Brodie brothers want a fight to the death, do they?

Well, they've got one.

What colour do you think? The vets are playing in red.

No idea what the home team will be wearing.

-D'you think the squad will wear blue?

-Let me think.

Could I care less?

Well, everyone's got a blue t-shirt, and then we could wear hockey skirts

-or whatever we can find. You got any?

-What if I did?

Now, now! You promised Daddy you'd be helpful.

Do you actually think you're going to get anyone to join this stupid cheerleading team?

I was going to ask you about that.

Amongst your friends, are there any pretty ones?

I'll go get you my cast-offs.

Not that you're going to find anyone to wear them.

Conor. Who do you think I should get for my cheerleading squad?

You're not still in a huff with me, are you?

Cheerleading? For the football this afternoon?

Yes. Good idea, no?

-Trying to get in Dad's good books?

-Trying to help raise some money.

But...if it takes that sour look off his face...

-Is he always like that?

-Sometimes he's OK.

So, do they get on OK, him and Leyla?

Suppose.

Back each other up all the time, I'll say that.

-Well, it's been like that ever since...

-Since what?

Since what?

Well, my dad and my mum were still married when the pair of them started winching.

He cheated on your mum?!

No. I mean, it was a long time ago.

I didn't mean that, er...

-I want them back...fumigated.

-Right.

10% of the business, 10% of the work, eh, Gabriel?

I'm here, aren't I?

Doing nothing. Shouldn't you be doing something useful, like blackening my name to Leo?

I just think both of you should take your time, that's all.

The impartial advisor(!)

Yes. I am actually.

I certainly don't need anything from you.

Leo can be a bit impetuous. Needs the guiding hand of a big brother.

You just hate being Mr Ten Per Cent, don't you?

In every way.

-Jo?

-Must get on.

See you two later.

-Hiya. What can I get you?

-Actually, I wanted a word with Stella.

-Yeah?

-You know there's this football match this afternoon?

I thought it would be fun to organise some cheerleading.

That's a great idea, Zinnie.

Might help to raise more money.

And I thought you might like to be involved.

You kidding on?

Look, I need at least three.

-How many have you got already?

-Just me.

-I'm not going to be your first victim.

-Come on, Stella, I need you.

Hardly any good-looking young women around.

-I'd keep my voice down saying things like that.

-No chance.

-The game's only half an hour long. We'll just jump...

-Zinnie. I'd rather eat my own sick.

I take it that's a no, then?

-Hi, Hayley! I don't suppose you're doing anything this afternoon?

-Um...

I've phoned round. Asked everybody. No takers.

What about Bob's pals in the motor trade? That guy Ronnie,

-from the auctions. He plays.

-Tried him.

There's got to be a goalkeeper somewhere!

Murray, come here.

You ever play football?

I've heard about this.

Seems everyone's been asked.

You ever played in goals?

Oh, I remember this situation.

You can't find anyone else, so you pick the rubbish boy and put him in goals.

Not at all. I've been looking for you all morning. You're on my A list.

You up for it?

-All right, why not?

-Excellent.

You don't know of a striker, do you?

I can't believe what I've just let her talk me into.

You fell for it?!

Your last chance.

Hey, you're supposed to wait till I get back.

Then you get back on time.

Come on. You can tell me exactly what's involved.

I'm gonnae kill Raymond, man.

-He won't consider her for his football team.

-You play?

Why's everybody so amazed?

It is the 21st century.

THEY BOTH GIGGLE

So, the Brodie sisters re-united for one last time this afternoon?

Actually, no. I've asked Mick to be the ref.

-And he said yes?

-It was between you and him and I wouldn't mind winning this game.

What, Mick refereeing?!

Everybody will sent off before half-time.

What were you and Jo saying?

Nothing.

She just gets kinda weird round about me.

What does that mean?

Nothing. I just get the impression she doesn't like me.

Don't forget, an hour before, for a kick-around.

I'll be there.

-Everywhere I go...

-What?

-Nothing.

It's just that he always seems to be there, like he's following me.

-Away.

-The smile he gives me. The things he says...

-I didn't notice anything.

-Not going to it in front of you, is he?

Are you saying he's still got the...

MOBILE RINGS

OK. Yeah, no bother. I'll be right there.

Look, I've got to go meet the lads for the football.

-I don't suppose you could look after this place for a while?

-Sure.

Leo. What if he comes back?

Tell him to take over and you come see me.

-Oh, hi.

-Sorry, I was just on my way out.

I just need to get my, erm...

Michael, I still can't get enough people for the cheerleading.

Do you know of anyone?

Any pretty girls? Young girls?

No, sorry.

If you think of someone, I have a costume for them.

-What do you make of that?

-What?

Swanning about like that.

Zinnie?

Like what?

Nothing you haven't seen before. You're a doctor, for heaven's sake.

That's not the point.

A bit of decorum wouldn't go amiss.

-Nicole wanders around in her jammies.

-She's family.

So is Zinnie, Michael.

There are a couple of teenage boys in this house, hormones flying out their ears.

Well, they never saw her. Never know what they missed.

Actually, Conor was agog.

And I don't think the boys will appreciate the finer points of extended family relationships.

It's just...not right.

Get changed in there, lads. Go on. It's open.

I'll make you a coffee.

-Everyone show up?

-We've still got an extra man.

Might have to put Terry on the bench.

He's not quite at the peak of fitness.

-Who's looking after the arcade?

-Jo.

-I'll go relieve her.

-No, I'll go.

No, come on, the guys are waiting for you.

Don't worry, she won't eat me.

I'll be over as quick as I can.

No rush.

You're closing up? For a football match?

It'll only be for about an hour.

Anyway, I want to go along and see them all falling about.

I'll keep it open, if you want. I'm not going anywhere near it.

The voice of reason.

No point. Everybody's going.

Place will be dead.

Anyway, we're supposed to be going along to donate.

Another good reason not to go.

# Raise your spirits! Raise them high!

# Kiss those army boys, bye-bye! #

-Very funny.

-Am I missing something?

You should do it. You'd be pure amazing.

Zinnie reckons Stella would be the ideal candidate for cheerleading.

Hen, you'd be the cheerleader from hell.

You volunteered for the football?

-Some reception that got.

-They're stupid. They're desperate for players.

-They've pretty much asked everyone else.

-Except me, I notice.

Don't know who Raymond thinks he is - the gender polis?

-Honestly, I'm not gonnae let this one go.

-Are you gonnae stand up and be counted?

-Aye.

Go Stella, go Stella! Go, go, go, Stella!

It's all in hand, Lenny. It won't take me long.

Maybe even sooner than I thought. I'll be in touch.

-You can go now.

-Listen to Mr Big.

Thanks for all your help, but I can take over from here.

Three's a crowd, isn't it, Gabriel?

Pair of you playing Two Little Boys in your tacky little arcade.

I've really riled you, haven't I?

Don't flatter yourself.

-It's the yawning gap between you and your self-esteem.

-Will you listen to yourself?

Then you might realise why I'm advising my wee brother to take things real slow.

Where do get off telling folk what to do with their lives?

You think you're so in control, Gabriel. It's pathetic.

Leo doesn't listen to you.

Why should he? You're the junior partner.

And me? Your precious little family and your tuppence ha'penny business?

-I could snuff it all out, like that.

-I don't like threats.

-Stay out of my life!

-Look at the state of you.

You are nuts, you know that?! You've no interest in making him happy. You just want to get at me.

There you go again. I'm not going to let you ruin our lives. I despise you.

-I can't stand being this close to you.

-Me, neither.

Sure you don't want to reconsider?

You're our first choice goalie.

I'm your only choice goalie.

This is a comedy football team!

-Maybe this game will be fun, after all. Just what I need.

-What's wrong with you?

Thought I'd do some stretching exercises out there in the beer garden.

Limber up. Think I pulled a muscle. Sorry, lads, I'm out.

-You're joking!

-Seriously. I can hardly walk.

We're two players down again?

Raymond, I found a striker.

-Fantastic. Things are looking up, at last. Who is it?

-Robbie.

ALL: Robbie?

That's it. This is a must-see! You go. Tell me everything.

I might. I've got to see this!

We are talking about the same Robbie?

-I mean, you haven't got the phone number of Robbie Keane, by any chance, have you?

-Robbie who?

Robbie Fraser. He's really good.

-Give me a break.

-Do you not know?

Used to play for his school. Captained them.

-Me and Innes used to kickabout with him. Nutmegged you every time.

-Never mentions it.

He doesn't like to talk about it. Didn't really like to play,

but just had natural ability.

He doesn't really look like a footballer.

What does a footballer look like? You lot?!

Well, if that's the standard...

Not the hardest working midfielder, I grant you, but stick him up front and he'll nick a goal every time.

But if he doesn't like playing?

He's gonnae come out of retirement for one big game.

Took me ages to talk him round.

Seriously, he's a big strong lad.

Well, if you've seen him play...

He'll do the business for us, I'm sure of it.

Fair enough. Bring him along to the pre-match session.

You've just lost your place as last boy picked.

Listen to peg-leg.

Right, looks like we've nearly got ourselves a team.

-Go and get him, Charlie. We just need one more.

-How about Malcolm?

All right. Want to meet the lads?

Yeah. In a minute. Tell them to change in the other room.

Anyone thinking we're open could just wander in.

-I've had enough wardrobe disasters.

-Eh?

-Never mind. I'm off to do a bit of work for half an hour.

I did want to talk about the game. No point. Gabriel's not here yet.

-Well, there's no rush, eh?

-Should be here by now.

He'll be keeping the arcade open for as long as possible. No point in throwing money away.

Yeah. Suppose.

-Think I might head over.

-No, you won't.

I know squaddies. Stay here and keep an eye on them.

Hey, lads. Bit of order in here.

Oh, cheerleaders, I presume. How many more are there of you?

Well, two is all you need for a cheerleading team.

It's just us two?

Look, it will be fine. We'll make them wish they all joined.

It's not too late to call it off.

This day just gets better and better.

-Where can we get changed?

-Try the ladies.

What, so I've to get changed in the bogs now, as well?

What were you wanting? Flowers and lights? Let's just get changed and then we can have a practise.

Hey, girls, is that offer still on?

Yes, you going to join us?

-Can't go through life being a party-pooper, can you?

-Thank heaven.

That's great! I've got stuff here that will fit you. Come on, girls.

That wasn't the plan.

What just happened?

I don't know, but it's still happening.

To me, anyway.

You?

Gabe, we shouldn't have.

-We can't...

-Sshh-sshh.

Maybe we should just stop fighting it, I suppose.

I told you, I hate you.

-It's a fine line.

-I don't know anything anymore.

All I know is...

this feels good.

Like we finally got it right?

I've been trying to pretend that I didn't love you.

Do you?

But this is wrong.

Look, you're Leo's girl now.

I'm sorry. It's my fault.

-I'll just get out of town. Let both of...

-Could you?

Me, neither.

Gabe, I've made such a mess of things.

We could've had all this.

Maybe we had to go through this.

-Maybe it's just the way we are.

-One as mad as the other, you mean?

-What now?

-I dunno.

I just know I need to be with you.

Let's get out of here. You, me and Romeo?

Nothing could make me happier.

But Leo? The match.

I'll tell him after that.

Just wait one more minute.

Then we'll tell him, together.

Then we'll leave, yeah?

-Mr Murdoch, before you go.

-It will have to wait.

Something I have to tell you! It might be of use to you,

in your business.

I've just come over from the arcade.

Guess who was there? Gabriel Brodie and Joanne Rossi.

-Fascinating.

-No, but listen.

They were very close in fact, they were very intimate.

And they were talking about running away together.

Why would that interest me?

Where are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago!

-Get a grip, Gabriel!

-Leo!

Yeah. A minute.

-Jo.

-I don't know where we're going.

Right, let's do this.

-Joanne!

-Molly.

Mr Murdoch was looking for you.

I'll pop by later. Or I'll see him at the football match.

Don't you worry, hen.

-I'm keeping him in the picture.

-What?

I'm like Mr. Murdoch's eyes and ears out there.

Good for you.

He'll be in the Tall Ship.

OK.

-Can I get some service?

-Sure.

DOOR CLOSES

Not going to the big derby?

I would, for a bit of light entertainment,

but since the main comedian's over there, I'm stuck here.

It's important to support your local team.

-Why aren't you there?

-I'll be going over. You'd be amazed the effect the crowd can have.

Lenny, you wanted to see me?

I always want to see you, doll,

especially when we've got a deal cooking.

Listen, Lenny, I think maybe I overestimated my hand.

That's a shame,

because I was sure you were playing your hand very nicely.

It's not going to work.

-I'm sorry.

-That's not how it goes.

No cash flow, window of opportunity...

No, I mean, just not today.

Give me a few days.

"A few days."

A few days is a long time in business.

Things happen.

People just...disappear.

It's just a snag. I'll sort it.

We'll speak in a few days.

Let me give you a bit of advice.

Don't let the heart rule your head.

So.

Tell me. How do you like having your cousin Zinnie staying with us?

-It's OK.

-And you, Conor?

How do you like having a new cousin in the house?

-She's not my cousin.

-Well, she is, really, in a way.

The thing is, when you have another person staying with you, things change, don't they?

-Yeah, you can't watch the programmes you want.

-That's right.

You have to...

negotiate more, don't you?

Be careful around each other, don't you?

Especially when it's a big girl, like Zinnie.

When we're rushing around, getting changed...

the thing is, it's about respect.

You should never,

for example, you should never separate a woman's body from her mind, from her whole self...

Why are you saying all this to me?

I'm not. I'm speaking to you both.

But...

your dad did mention that you were

staring at Zinnie earlier. When she was in her towel, in the kitchen.

Me? When? I've never seen Zinnie in a towel.

But your dad said...

I must have misunderstood. Sorry.

S-C-O-R-E Shieldinch!

Shieldinch!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Look at them!

We're done for. And we're a man down before we start!

-Robbie. You up for this?

-Bring it on.

We'll need your skills more than ever, mate.

-Raymond, you're going to have to play!

-I can't play and manage at the same time.

There's only four of us!

You need somebody to read the game for you!

Well, they've got five men. And they've still got Gabriel.

Maybe they could give us one of theirs.

Right enough, leave it to me, boys.

Leo, come here.

Listen, mate, we need your extra player.

OK. Fine.

Jamie, you're playing with them.

Right, everybody.

Sorry, am I boring you?

Sorry. Zoned out there.

So what's the gameplan, Stan?

The rest of us were devising it all afternoon. Where were you?!

Kids in the arcade, couldn't get rid of them.

-Jo coming to the game?

-I don't know.

Haven't seen her.

Hey, big man. Quick word?

Are you joking? I'm just about to start a football match.

-Well, I thought you might want to know before you start.

-Hurry up.

I'm in a position to offer you thirty grand for your share of the arcade.

Are you joking? I'm not selling.

It's worth way more than that. And I'm about to start a football match!

OK, maybe I could budge a grand or two.

Oh, and before you start your wee game here, here's something to consider,

you been wondering where Gabriel was this afternoon?

Or Jo?

Anyway, I don't want to interrupt your game. Best man win and all that.

Right, I'm playing for that team!

SHOUTING AND CHEERING

You're kidding me, aren't you?

-You OK?

-Aye.

-Free kick, that way.

-BLOWS WHISTLE

Go on. See how the numpties are getting on.

-Sure?

-Yeah, it's dead in there.

I know but... Are you OK?

Are you?

Go on. Go and have a laugh.

For both of us. Goodness knows we could do with it.

The game that good?

Seen what I needed to.

Worried you might be closing up.

-For a game of football?

-Yeah, us business people.

No time for games, eh?

Calm down. I won't tell you again.

He's down! He's down!

What is wrong with you two? This is unbelievable!

-He done me first!

-Listen to you. You're like a kid. Penalty!

Those boys are trying to kill each other!

-Poor Leo.

-Joanne, what's going on?

Too hard to explain right now, Mum.

I'll explain later.

What's going on with those two? Give us a shot.

Come on! Get back on here! This is your big chance.

Are you off your head? What is a penalty?

-What are you doing?

-Let her take it!

Are you daft? Nothing personal.

No, it's just all women, isn't it?

Raymond, who's taking this penalty!

Just try your best.

See when you get there, try and kick it straight, OK?

Do your best, darling.

Stella! Stella!

-Leo, don't!

-Get your hands off me, Leo!

I knew it all along!

-Then you knew something I didn't!

Woah! Enough.

Game over.

Will you tell them, or should I?

-Can we just talk about this later, please?

-What about you, Jo?

Anything you want to tell everybody?

-Leo, please.

-My own brother!

-Jo!

-What the hell's going on?

Will you just... leave it, all right?

Same again.

Either its good news, or very bad.

Either way, don't tell me.

Last thing I'd do.

Well! I feel as if I've done a good day's work.

What do you think?

Give this lady whatever she wants.

Employee of the month?

-Something like that.

-That's very kind of you, Mr. Murdoch.

I'll go mad. A wee voddy and orange.

And no' that fresh stuff.

That Jo lassie,

she's that sharp she'd cut herself.

This business that you're working on,

-something to do with the arcade?

-Could be.

So you're taking a slice of the action?

You watch too much telly.

I'm just interested in your business.

Employee of the month, remember?

Yeah. Good girl.

But if I don't tell you everything my business, Molly, know this, it's for your own safety.

I can't risk too good a mole out there.

You just reminded me of a golden rule.

Always go it alone.

-What have you done?!

-You told me to make an offer to Leo.

-So I did.

-How did he know about me and Gabriel?

The detail doesn't matter. You wanted out, I didn't.

-Did you have to embarrass us? Humiliate Leo in front of everyone?!

-Oh, no, that was you.

Me? Pure business.

Seems to me you got what you wanted.

I didn't need to see Leo destroyed along the way!

Sometimes, a deal, it just needs an extra wee nudge.

Look, hit me if you want.

You've every right.

You admit it?

I didn't go behind your back.

I never planned for this to happen.

I love her, Leo.

Love?

I don't think so, Gabe.

You want my woman.

This is between you and me.

No, you've got it wrong, Leo.

You've been making moves on her behind my back for ages.

-What gives you that idea?

-You've finally worn her down.

I haven't been making moves.

It just happened.

If I could change things...

But what can I do?

We need each other.

You were certainly made for each other.

What's next, Gabriel?

You want the business?

-The shirt off my back?!

-Course I don't want your business.

In fact,

-I'll give you my share.

-And now, Lenny Murdoch wants to buy me out!

Why would he think I want out?

Right. You two.

Explain.

Just stay out of this, Michael.

For once, this is something you can't sort.

We're leaving tonight.

We've decided.

Wouldn't be fair on any of us, staying here.

Maybe, one day you might believe me.

I'm sorry, Leo.

Woah! Enough!

Think what you want, Leo.

I'll sign over my share of the business to you tonight,

before I go.

Me and Jo are starting afresh.

You and Jo?! Am I hearing right?! Gabriel!

Raymond, wait? Tell me.

It was unbelievable. You'd never have guessed.

-She's got a really good first touch. And her penalty....

-Not Stella!

-Jo and the Brodies!

-Who knows?

-Something about Jo cheating.

-On Leo?

I don't know. I was down the other end of the park.

I'll tell you, see taking a penalty,

it's not as easy as you might think. It takes guts, precision and...

You're hopeless. I'm going to go and ask somebody who knows the important things.

-What was that all about?

-I have no idea.

-That turned out so much better than I imagined! In every way!

The second you get in, Zinnie, change out of those things!

Your family are doing my head in.

She's your family not mine!

Yeah but your dad and your brothers out there?

Saddoes or what?!

I think he's expecting you.

We got a deal?

There's an extra grand in there. For brisk business.

Take it.

You might as well now.

And here was me thinking I'd need to brush up on my defensive skills.

-Why does everyone think I'm going to hit them?

-I would.

Why would I waste my time breaking your bones?

Heard you'd had a bad day, I thought you might be leaving a trail of blood behind you.

Yeah, well...

It's not over till it's over.

I don't understand.

Mum, it's simple. It's the simplest thing that's ever happened to me.

-Gabriel and I are in love.

-Och, Jo!

I thought it was all over.

Leo's nice, and everything.

But it all just became blindingly clear this morning.

I'm glad it's blindingly clear to somebody.

I never meant for Leo to find out, not like that.

It's partly my fault, but it wasn't intentional.

-Partly your fault?

-Mum I'm sorry. I know it wasn't nice for you either.

But please.

I've finally found someone at last.

Heaven knows I've been around the houses.

But he's what's right for me.

And now you're just going to go away with him? Just like that?

After what's happened, we have to.

But not far. And not for long.

This is your answer to everything, Jo.

-Running away.

-Mum, don't.

I don't need this.

I suppose I should be used to you taking off.

Jo, are you sure this is what you really want?

Never more sure of anything.

So, Conor wasn't ogling Zinnie at all.

I didn't say he was ogling her.

I'm just saying she shouldn't be walking around the house like that.

No, Michael. You did say he was ogling her.

-But it wasn't him, was it?

-What?

It never occurred to me...

-that you...

-That I what?!

-If you've got issues with young women, Michael...

-I do not have "issues" with Zinnie!

What is it with the men in your family? You've all got issues with women!

Don't bring Gabriel and Leo into this! I've had enough of them today.

Look, Leyla, Zinnie was parading around in front of me, deliberately.

I don't believe this.

You really think a beautiful young girl like her would give you the come-on?

You could be her father...easily!

I didn't say she was coming on to me, I'm just saying...

-Why else would she parade in front of you?!

-I don't know!

Hey, is everything OK?

-SHE LAUGHS

-That's what he said to me!

Come in, come in.

The Brodies are always welcome here.

Off you go.

-What did you say to Leo?

-When, exactly?

-I'm a sociable guy.

-Before the game.

Oh, well since you own the lesser part of the business

I thought your brother would have talked to you about it.

I had a quick business meeting with him. He sold me his shares.

We're partners.

-He's sold?

-Half an hour ago. I made him a good offer.

-Now, if you'd like to consider selling yours.

-No.

Was there any other party involved in this deal?

Other party? I don't know, what do you mean?

Well, my brother had mentioned that you'd spoken to Jo.

So you have both talked about it. That's nice.

I always think these things should be out in the open.

Joanne Rossi?

Yeah, with her being partners with Leo,

in the personal sense,

she had a certain involvement.

What kind of involvement?

To be honest with you, I couldn't quite understand her position, or her complicated proposals.

And since she didn't have anything to sell me, I didn't pay much attention, I'm afraid.

Should I?

I don't know.

I'm so sorry if I caused a problem here. I didn't think.

It's fine. We're just making something out of nothing.

-What are you talking about?

-It just never occurred to me

that I should be careful about how I dress in front of you.

-But of course, I realise now...

-What?

Well, it's more about the boys. It's just the age they're at.

It's nothing for you to worry about. Sorry I dragged you into this.

No, I made Michael feel uncomfortable.

And, I'll be more careful in future.

-What is happening?

-I'll explain later. Good.

That's that all sorted then, eh? If you don't mind, I'm shattered.

I'm going for a lie down.

You not going to speak to your brothers?

I'll deal with them in the morning.

I'd better get back to the surgery and tidy up.

You don't have to leave.

-We could face all this together.

-Mum!

DOORBELL RINGS

That'll be him,

I'll get it.

You and me are going on another adventure.

This'll be the best one. I swear.

With Gabriel. You like Gabriel, don't you?

Come on, Romeo.

Ready?

I've just got a few things to sort out.

I know it must be hard for you after what happened today.

No second thoughts?

I had a talk with Leo.

I thought we were going to do that together.

Then I went to see Lenny.

Whatever Lenny says...

You were talking to him about getting Leo to sell the arcade.

Yes, I was, but that was...

He implied, that you knew a way to break up mine and Leo's partnership.

Gabe, remember what we talked about this morning.

How we were both fighting it.

We both thought we hated each other.

We've both done and said some terrible things. But now we know.

Why would you want Lenny Murdoch to have the arcade?

I don't care what Lenny Murdoch has or hasn't got!

We've talked about this.

I was furious with you. You were with me.

None of it matters now.

It's like we've woken up.

Clean sheet, Gabriel. Remember?

-Raymond, did you know footballers think about sexism every ten seconds?

-Very good(!)

If you ever want the offside rule explained, just give me a shout.

Don't want to rain on your parade Raymond, but that other team were a shambles.

Aye, and we had the most crazy of them all.

What was going on with Leo, man?

Don't think he touched the ball once. Was too busy scything down Gabriel.

What was it he said at the end?

Looks like Jo was playing one off the other.

I'd thank you all not to make gossip out of other people's misfortunes.

Lets just keep slagging off Raymond. More fun.

So the plan was, drive a wedge between me and Leo,

tip off Lenny, and then he's ready to make his move?

Yes. It was. But that was before.

That's a pretty vicious plan though.

We lose the business,

and the family's broken up forever.

I don't know what I was thinking.

-But it's all over now.

-But it's not.

Leo's sold.

No. Maybe we can sort it.

-I'll speak to Lenny.

-That's the problem, Jo.

It's all worked out.

You've pulled it off exactly as planned.

No! How can you say that?

I never planned to leave here with you tonight.

I never planned to leave my family, drag my son away. I never planned to actually fall in love with you!

But how will I ever know that?

How will I ever know the difference?

Oh, Gabriel. Isn't it obvious?

-Don't you still feel it?

-Yes.

Yes, I do.

But that just makes it worse.

I mean, what? For the rest of my life,

doubt what you say, what you do?

My feelings haven't changed,

but I know one thing,

we can't have a life together.

-Gabriel!

-I'm sorry, Jo.

We got so close.

-You did that on purpose!

-What?!

-I made your dad perv on me?

-He did not perv out on you!

You swan in here flashing your all, where's anyone going to look?

Eh, the other way? And I wasn't flashing anyone.

I came in here in a big bath towel

-thinking the place was empty.

-Yeah, right.

-And he just starts looking at me.

-No he didn't. I bet he told you to get dressed properly.

He'd be worried about the boys.

-Yeah, that was his excuse too.

-I know what you're up to.

You're trying to get him in trouble, with Leyla.

Has she got any reason to think...?

-What?

-In their past?

Older guys, they just forget they're old.

My dad's not like that!

It's a creepy thought though.

-Just walking around the house and some old guy is like...

-Stop it!

Stop talking about him like that.

Nicole!

Somebody here to see you.

Gabriel.

£31,000.

What my life here has amounted to.

I'm so sorry, Leo.

No, it was a fair deal.

All packed?

He's not coming back for you, you know that?

But you can't stay here either.

-What makes you say that?

-I know you better than you give me credit for.

If you go...

I know it's not on my account.

And anyway,

I'm leaving. I've got even less of a reason to stay here than you have.

You've got options.

-Do I?

-You've got family here.

History. Not all bad.

You can hang on, see if you can bring Gabriel round.

I don't think so.

Me neither. Still, it's an option.

Not for me, it's not.

You've got nowhere to go. And you don't travel alone.

-I've got Romeo.

-That's not what I mean.

I've got friends.

London. Australia.

-Come with me.

-You and me?

After everything that's happened?

I should want to kill you.

But I don't.

Never want to see you again.

But I do.

You got some kind of weird Brodie-bewitching power?

I couldn't.

I'll look after you.

You and Romeo.

Me and the kid get on OK.

Even if it's just for a couple of days.

-I could never...

-And I would never ask you to.

I don't want you to get your hopes up.

I'm willing to go the extra mile that Gabe couldn't.

Wouldn't.

Like Lenny Murdoch says, deal in realities.

I'm leaving. You're leaving.

Might as well share the journey.

-That's crazy.

-I've got a mate, he's got a house down south.

He's on a tour. Away for six months.

It's got two bedrooms.

You're a decent guy, Leo.

That's something I've not heard much in my life.

I've kept out of it. Gina and Jo need space.

You must know something. Gina's not answering her phone.

Oh! Think I might be about to find out.

-Gabriel?

-Pint.

-He's not a happy bunny.

-Wherever Jo goes...

That's right. Blame the woman.

No, I'm jealous. A trail of broken hearts and men behind you?

Right, I've going to get going. Amazing what one kick of the ball can do to you.

Hang on, Stella.

I want to present you with this.

Ladies and Gentleman I would like to present the award

for the Man of the Match to...

Sorry. The...Player of the Match...

-You're getting there.

-Thank you! ..to Stella.

APPLAUSE

Well deserved!

Don't look at it too closely.

It's one of my old pub golf trophies from about ten years ago.

Thanks, Raymond. I'm honoured.

-Truly.

-I still think that your penalty kick

was mostly down to my coaching skills.

He's happy enough playing.

Thanks.

Taxi will be here in a minute.

Jo, darling, you don't have to go anywhere.

You've got nowhere to go.

Leo, will you do me a favour and go and get Romeo organised, and I'll be right behind you.

Sure.

It's too hard to explain, Mum.

-I'll ring you.

-You don't have to explain anything to anybody.

Just don't go!

-Why do you have to go?!

-Karma?

Some kind of poetic justice.

I can't stay here.

Think of it as a kind of a penance.

-Come on, please!

-Hey, it almost worked out.

Just one tiny detail not quite right.

We'll be fine. Really.

And you know, Mum,

given the choice of moving on or standing still...

Jo!

Got to make the best of a bad job.

That's what you always say.

Hi.

TURNS OFF TV

Michael, I am really sorry.

You're a lightening rod, Zinnie, you know that?

-I'm sure you don't mean it, but you attract trouble.

-That's not fair!

I'm not accusing you of anything,

but tread gently, yeah?

You could cause mayhem in an empty house.

-Shame the game didn't go so well for everyone though, eh?

Aye, I know. Poor Gabriel.

He looked devastated.

Gabriel.

There's nothing he likes more than laying down the law, now I have to beg for my own money.

-Bangkok?!

-I was just looking.

-You're a liar, you were one click away from buying a ticket.

Oh, and wouldn't you be glad to be shot of me?

-Amber, I miss you.

-Really?

You put one foot near my daughter, OK, you'll never get past me, pal, never.

I can't support you any more, you've got one week to find another place to live.

You don't know what you've done with your pack of lies.

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