Ill Met by Moonlight Shakespeare & Hathaway - Private Investigators


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Ill Met by Moonlight

Comedy drama about two private detectives. Frank and Lu must recover a precious jewel and a rebellious teenager before midnight strikes.


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OWL HOOTS

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Something came up.

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It's not important.

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INDISTINCT MALE VOICE

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I said I'm sorry!

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No, I don't want you to come over.

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Because I can't deal with you right now!

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GLASS SMASHING LOUDLY

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Mia?

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Mia, is that you?

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Mia?

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No, I'm afraid they're out on a job.

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I will tell them the moment they get back, yes.

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Thank you. Bye.

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He got injured paragliding in Lanzarote

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when he should have been at work.

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That's irrelevant. You said he was faking it, I said he wasn't.

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You owe me a tenner.

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-Another audition?

-Fashion choice.

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Actually, I've decided to take vintage to a whole new level.

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A very nice lady just called about a missing item.

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She asked if you'd pop over to her estate.

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HE SIGHS

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You tell her if she wants to see me, she can come here.

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-Well, hang on, shouldn't we find out...?

-I'm not traipsing all over

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some dodgy housing estate because some old bat's

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lost her garden gnome! No, thank you.

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Ah, he's just grumpy cos he lost a bet.

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Yes, hello. May I speak to Lady Tania Bede, please?

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-Lady Bede?

-I'll hold.

-Of Thessley Hall?

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-That's the one.

-Oh, we can make some exceptions!

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Go and march or something. Go on.

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The Bedes put on a charity fundraiser once a year

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to celebrate the autumn equinox. The End of Summer Ball.

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Ah, can't say I've ever had an invite.

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That's because you have to be a millionaire to get on the guest list.

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Big deal, apparently.

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No wonder she's lost something.

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I bet her toilets are in a different postcode.

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Mm-hm. "Lavatories," actually, please.

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Could we not lower ourselves to the standards of the hoi polloi?

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Yeah, talking of hoi polloi, if something's gone missing...

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Oh, come on. If I said that, you'd say I was jumping to conclusions.

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That's because when you say it, you are.

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I'm merely drawing on my many years of experience.

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A wealth of knowledge.

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Where do you need me, Mr Greenvale?

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You're late.

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-Big night, was it?

-No, just...

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-didn't get that much sleep.

-Oh, yeah?

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-I'm fine to work.

-Oh, I hope so.

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There's a lot to do if we're going to be ready for tonight.

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Go and help Phil move the generator.

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Your Ladyship.

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We agreed none of you were to go into the main house.

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We did.

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So why are there labourers filling buckets in my utility?

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I'll sort it.

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I've been wanting to speak to you.

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This is going to be my last year.

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Running the event, I mean.

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-But you've always...

-20 years is a long time.

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And now I've got the house in Spain...

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I'm sure you'll find someone else.

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Very well.

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Thank you for letting me know.

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Who are they?

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They're here to see me.

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It's a private matter.

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FRANK SLURPS LOUDLY

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You mentioned that...

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LU LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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So you mentioned that you had an item that went missing.

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Two, actually.

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The first is this.

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It's called Love-In-Idleness.

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One of a kind.

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It was stolen from that display cabinet last night.

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Worth a few bob, then?

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It's priceless.

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It was given to me at our very first ball 20 years ago.

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I hoped to wear it tonight.

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It's not the most secure place to put a priceless heirloom.

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I kept it in our safe until recently,

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but I wanted to be able to see it.

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-Foolish, really.

-Burglar alarm?

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Yes, but it was switched off -

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which brings me to the second item...

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..my daughter, Mia. She disappeared at the same time.

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I'd... Not that I would want to do us out of a job,

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but if your daughter's missing,

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shouldn't you have called the police?

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That doll was left by the cabinet.

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I gave it to Mia when she was a baby.

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No doubt it's a message.

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You think Mia took the necklace?

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A burglar would have taken other valuables.

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Mia and I have had some disagreements recently.

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If the police get involved, it will all get out of hand.

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I just want my necklace back.

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Right. Well, so our standard terms of business

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-would mean that you would have to...

-I will give you £10,000 -

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if, and only if, you retrieve it by tonight.

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-You're on.

-Perhaps I should show you Mia's bedroom.

-Yeah.

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WHISPERING: Ten grand for a day's work, what's not to like?

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Yeah, but what if we don't find it in time?

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We will! We're the dream team, remember?

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Here.

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This is Mia's bedroom.

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Is there anything missing?

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Not that I can tell.

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A few clothes maybe.

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We're going to need Mia's mobile and e-mail,

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maybe a list of friends, places she liked to go, that sort of thing.

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To be honest, her life outside of this house is a mystery to me.

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You mentioned "disagreements."

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Since my husband died a year ago, Mia has been...

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troubled.

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Coming and going at all hours.

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Exams were a disaster.

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And I had to stop her allowance,

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because I found drugs in her handbag.

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That's like me when I was 18.

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Not the drugs! Just, you know, just generally 18-ish stuff.

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It's, erm...

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Has Mia run away before?

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Yes, but something tells me this time she means it.

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Anyone she might have spent time with recently?

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You could try Helen.

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They've been inseparable for years.

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-They went to boarding school together.

-Surname?

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Nedarson. That's her there.

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MOBILE RINGS

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Caterers. I should take this.

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Lady Bede speaking.

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-WHISPERING:

-Is it just me or does that woman care more about a piece

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of jewellery than her own daughter?

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#Justsaying

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-Popular girl, isn't she?

-Mm. Are you jealous?

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Do you know a St Theodore's Hospital?

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No, sorry.

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Well, according to this,

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Mia gave them 200 quid a couple of weeks ago.

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I'm going to need you to check that out, Sebastian.

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-And I want you to visit some pawn shops.

-Lucky me!

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Pawnbrokers! Try Highwall and Sons first.

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They deal with the more pricey stuff.

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Do you think she'll try and flog the necklace?

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Well, why else would she take it? If she's going to run away,

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she'll need cash.

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And according to this, she's right on her overdraft limit.

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I know where we can look for Helen Nedarson.

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Great.

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She's... Well, hang on, I haven't told you yet.

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Yeah, you go. There's someone else who might be able to help.

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-But don't...don't you want...?

-A deadline like this calls for

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drastic measures. Catch you later.

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-DOOR SLAMS

-OK.

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Wrong.

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Still wrong.

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Spider, open the door or I'll tell your mam what you look at online.

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She'd be relieved.

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She thinks I spend all day looking at dirty pictures.

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Ow!

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Three, two, one, lift.

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And up, go.

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-Helen Nedarson?

-Yes.

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Hi, can I have a word? I'm Lu Shakespeare.

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I'm looking into the disappearance of Mia Bede.

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Mia? What's happened?

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She disappeared last night.

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Along with a rather expensive item belonging to her mother.

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-Are you police?

-No, I'm a private investigator.

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Lady Tania hired us to find her daughter.

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When did you last see Mia?

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Yesterday afternoon. I went over to hers.

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Did she seem distressed? Or mention any plans to go away?

0:11:160:11:20

No. Nothing like that.

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And you haven't had contact with her since?

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Should I be worried?

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Well, I'm sure we'll find her.

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Can I ask, do you recognise him?

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Yeah. Dimitri.

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They've been seeing each other.

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I don't think it's serious, though.

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Not enough for them to elope!

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Erm, where might I find him, do you know?

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Here. He's the club captain.

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His crew've got training at noon.

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You've been really helpful, thanks. And if...if Mia does get in touch

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-will you...?

-I'll give you a buzz straight away. Promise.

-Thanks.

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It's me.

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We need to talk about last night.

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-Beer?

-Nah.

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It's a bit early, even for me.

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Yeah, well, you're not being pursued over the dark Web

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by Russian hackers.

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Turns out I might've nicked a load of their Bitcoins.

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Much as I love hearing about your cyber-geekery,

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we're working a missing persons case and we're short on time.

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So you want to cut some corners?

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Yeah, can you check this mobile number?

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Any calls or messages in the last 24 hours?

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I could, but it's not strictly legal.

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Since when has anything you've ever done in your life

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been strictly legal, Spider?

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Yeah, what I'm saying is, it'll cost you.

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Well, in this case, money isn't an issue.

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If we find her.

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-PHONE RINGS

-All right, I'll be in touch.

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-Shouldn't take long.

-Thanks.

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Oh. Hello.

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Hang on a sec.

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Word of advice, from a friend...

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Yeah?

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..you might want to open some of these windows a bit.

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You know, let some air in. Just...

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It stinks.

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Yeah. What did she say?

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HE SNIFFS

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Oh, sorry. Sorry.

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Mr Erasmus? We're private investigators.

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We're looking for Mia.

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Tried Thessley Hall?

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Lady Tania's the one that hired us.

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Mia's gone missing.

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I've not heard from Mia for days.

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And you haven't been worried about that?

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-Should I have been?

-Well, it's just, I thought you two were an item.

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It was just a casual thing.

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-Bit of fun.

-Was? Does that mean you've split up?

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No, erm... I'd been planning on ending it,

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but I've not heard from her.

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-And I've been busy with training, so...

-Where were you last night?

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At home.

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All night. Sorry, but my crew is waiting for me.

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He's hiding something. And I'm not just talking about the sock stuffed

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-down his... I'm joking. I wasn't looking.

-Keep watch.

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How do you know his combination?

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Finely-honed observational skills.

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Hm. Remind me not to stand in front of you at the cash machine.

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-Too late. Your PIN number's five, four, three...

-Shush!

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So if you just... So you'd do this.

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-Yes.

-And then it's just... The triceps.

-Yes.

0:14:290:14:31

"Polly Hoppins"?

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Oh, I know Polly! She used to come into the salon.

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She makes jewellery. She's got a shop in town.

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Well, if Mia's just a bit of fun,

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why's our rower friend spending five grand on a diamond ring?

0:14:510:14:55

Polly does remember Dimitri.

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Definitely an engagement ring, and that's not all.

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-Go on.

-Apparently, he called her this morning, asking to return it,

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and get a refund, and when Polly said no,

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Dimitri just went mad. Just started yelling at her down the phone.

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PHONE RINGS Oh!

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What have you got for me? VIDEO GAME GUNSHOTS

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Only two calls logged from the girl's phone in the last 24 hours.

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One to an unregistered pay-as-you-go.

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One to a number registered Dimitri Erasmus.

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Both were just before midnight last night.

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-Nothing since?

-Nope.

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I've tried tracking her GPS, but it seems like her phone is off.

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Good work. Now, I want you to send me the exact times of those calls.

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Yeah. I will do, along with me invoice.

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Yes. See you later.

0:15:370:15:39

It's just work, work, work.

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Dimitri lied.

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They did speak last night.

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So maybe he proposed and she said no

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or something gave him cold feet.

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-PHONE RINGS

-Oh!

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Hello, Lu Shakespeare speaking.

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It's Lady Bede.

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You've got to come back to Thessley Hall.

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We've found something.

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It was found in the middle of a footpath in the gardens.

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I've asked all my ground crew. Nobody saw how it got there.

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And this was on top.

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"If you want to see your daughter again,

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"leave £50,000 in cash under the fountain by midnight tonight."

0:16:230:16:27

-We need to call the police.

-It specifically says no police.

0:16:270:16:31

Frank's an ex-officer. If he thinks we should call...

0:16:310:16:33

No police! Until she's safe.

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It's Lady Tania's decision.

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I'm so foolish.

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I assumed it was just Mia being Mia.

0:16:410:16:43

-You shouldn't be blaming yourself.

-Of course I should!

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She's my daughter, and you'd understand if you...

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Please, bring her back.

0:16:570:16:58

We'll do everything we can.

0:16:580:17:00

That's the second number Mia called last night.

0:17:020:17:05

-What, the kidnapper's?

-Maybe.

0:17:050:17:07

But if it's a burner, we'll never trace it.

0:17:070:17:10

You don't know why Mia made a payment to St Theodore's Hospital

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at the end of last month, do you?

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I wasn't aware she had.

0:17:160:17:18

She hadn't been ill? Or had surgery or anything?

0:17:180:17:21

No.

0:17:210:17:22

No, nothing like that.

0:17:220:17:24

The ransom money...

0:17:240:17:26

-Do you have access to...?

-I'll call the bank.

0:17:260:17:28

-Just in case.

-Hopefully we won't need to use it.

0:17:280:17:31

The concierge at his block of flats said Dimitri

0:17:340:17:37

did go out last night. Came back in about two.

0:17:370:17:39

-Apparently, he was in a right state.

-What, drunk?

0:17:390:17:41

And upset. Muttering something about being an idiot.

0:17:410:17:44

What if Mia was pregnant?

0:17:460:17:48

Pregnant?

0:17:480:17:50

Yeah. Go with me on this, right?

0:17:500:17:51

So Mia tells Dimitri. He does a bit of soul-searching,

0:17:510:17:54

does the right thing and buys her a ring...

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but then, in the meantime, Mia's been and had a...

0:17:570:18:00

you know, termination - hence the payment to the hospital.

0:18:000:18:03

Cost more than 200 quid for a private hospital, wouldn't it?

0:18:030:18:05

Maybe that was just one instalment.

0:18:050:18:07

Go on.

0:18:070:18:08

Well, Polly said that Dimitri had a bit of a temper on him, didn't she?

0:18:080:18:11

So what if when Mia tells him she's been behind his back,

0:18:110:18:15

he gets angry, he lashes out...

0:18:150:18:18

and then he tries to cover his tracks by pretending she's run away?

0:18:180:18:21

Ah, it's a bit of a leap.

0:18:210:18:23

I mean, if he was going to kill her, why bother with a ransom note?

0:18:230:18:26

Well, 50,000's a lot, isn't it? Even for a posh boy.

0:18:260:18:28

Oh, I don't know.

0:18:280:18:30

Planting a hoodie in broad daylight's risky.

0:18:300:18:34

That's him. What do we do now?

0:18:340:18:36

Well, normally, I'd say watch and wait, but...

0:18:370:18:39

what the hell.

0:18:390:18:41

-Mr Erasmus...

-I said, I haven't heard from her.

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And yet she called your mobile just before midnight.

0:18:490:18:52

-You said you were home all night.

-I was.

-No, you weren't.

0:18:520:18:56

What can you tell me about this engagement ring?

0:18:560:18:58

-How do you know all this?

-Was Mia pregnant?

0:18:590:19:03

Pregnant? Well, if she was, she didn't tell me.

0:19:030:19:06

-Look, we're done here.

-They found Mia's hoodie.

0:19:060:19:10

It's covered in blood.

0:19:100:19:12

Some of my friends at the police force are less discreet than me.

0:19:140:19:17

OK. Yes, I spoke to her.

0:19:170:19:19

She was supposed to come round to mine.

0:19:190:19:22

You were going to propose?

0:19:220:19:24

-But she never turned up.

-That must've hurt.

0:19:240:19:26

-Did you go and confront her?

-No!

0:19:260:19:28

I went out, yes, but I didn't go anywhere near Thessley Hall.

0:19:280:19:32

And I've an alibi.

0:19:320:19:34

Who?

0:19:340:19:36

I can't say.

0:19:360:19:38

-Nine, nine... What was the other number again?

-OK!

0:19:380:19:41

But you have to swear not to tell anyone.

0:19:410:19:43

Dimitri came to ask about Mia.

0:19:450:19:47

He didn't know why she stood him up.

0:19:470:19:49

He still planned to propose. I didn't want him to get hurt so...

0:19:500:19:53

..I told him the truth.

0:19:570:19:59

What's that?

0:19:590:20:02

Mia's been seeing someone else.

0:20:020:20:04

Dmitri's just so...

0:20:040:20:06

Handsome?

0:20:060:20:08

Loaded?

0:20:080:20:10

Ripped?

0:20:100:20:12

If you love him so much, why don't you go out with him?

0:20:120:20:15

I wish.

0:20:150:20:17

-I bet there's someone else.

-No.

0:20:180:20:21

There is, isn't there?

0:20:210:20:23

Right, maybe.

0:20:230:20:24

-Who? Tell me.

-It's...

0:20:260:20:29

If you say "complicated", I'm smothering you with this pillow.

0:20:290:20:32

I can't say. Not yet.

0:20:320:20:34

At least tell me where you met.

0:20:350:20:36

Right here in my own back garden.

0:20:360:20:40

You grassed your best mate up to her boyfriend just like that?

0:20:410:20:43

"Best mate"? That's a joke! I've liked Dimitri for years.

0:20:430:20:48

Mia knows that and she hooked up with him anyway

0:20:480:20:50

-just to pass the time.

-Why didn't you tell me all this

0:20:500:20:53

-in the first place?

-I thought Mia was just out partying somewhere.

0:20:530:20:57

And I didn't want her finding out, did I?

0:20:570:21:00

You and Dimitri?

0:21:000:21:02

SHE SIGHS

0:21:030:21:06

He was upset. We had a drink and then...

0:21:060:21:09

you know... I didn't plan it or anything.

0:21:090:21:12

-It just happened.

-And you were with him till just before two?

0:21:120:21:16

After we...

0:21:160:21:18

He dozed off,

0:21:180:21:20

and when he woke up he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

0:21:200:21:24

He made me swear never to tell anyone.

0:21:240:21:26

Nothing like a vow of silence to make a girl feel special.

0:21:270:21:30

So Lady Tania said she was woken up around midnight.

0:21:330:21:38

Dimitri and Helen have given each other an alibi for that time.

0:21:380:21:41

They could both be lying.

0:21:410:21:44

Let's assume for a moment Helen's telling the truth.

0:21:440:21:46

That would mean Mia has been seeing another bloke

0:21:460:21:49

she met at Thessley Hall.

0:21:490:21:51

Well, the events crew have been in there for a while.

0:21:510:21:53

It could be one of them. I don't know how do we find out who, though.

0:21:530:21:56

By finding out who this phone number belongs to.

0:21:560:21:59

-I assume you've tried calling it?

-Yeah.

0:21:590:22:01

Just keeps going to answerphone.

0:22:010:22:03

I'll keep trying - might get lucky.

0:22:030:22:05

But soft! What delight through yonder window breaks?

0:22:050:22:09

I come bearing gifts.

0:22:090:22:11

What the hell are you wearing?

0:22:110:22:12

I got it at the pawnbroker. He recognised the necklace.

0:22:120:22:15

Some guy brought it in this morning, but then left again when they

0:22:150:22:18

wouldn't match his asking price.

0:22:180:22:19

Still doesn't explain the dead animal.

0:22:190:22:21

Erm, it's faux, and the owner said he wouldn't give me the CCTV

0:22:210:22:24

unless I bought something.

0:22:240:22:27

I put it on the company credit card.

0:22:270:22:30

Erm, since when did we have a company credit card?

0:22:300:22:32

Let's have a look at that CCTV, shall we?

0:22:320:22:34

Lu? Lu?

0:22:340:22:37

Hey!

0:22:370:22:39

I recognise him. He was at the estate this morning.

0:22:400:22:43

£10 says he's Mia's secret boyfriend.

0:22:430:22:46

-I'm not making any more bets with you.

-Spoil-sport.

0:22:460:22:49

And this means I get to keep the coat.

0:22:490:22:53

Right?

0:22:530:22:54

HE PURRS

0:22:540:22:56

-Any news?

-Not yet.

0:23:000:23:03

We're still making enquiries.

0:23:030:23:04

In which case, why are you back here?

0:23:040:23:06

We want to talk to somebody who might have come into contact

0:23:060:23:09

with the necklace. Or Mia.

0:23:090:23:10

-Or both.

-Do you, erm...do you know him?

0:23:100:23:14

It could be one of the labourers.

0:23:140:23:17

Ask Mr Greenvale.

0:23:170:23:18

Excuse me.

0:23:180:23:20

Mr Greenvale.

0:23:240:23:26

Frank Hathaway. I'm a private investigator.

0:23:260:23:29

Do you, erm, know him?

0:23:290:23:31

Yeah, it's Lee. He's been working with me.

0:23:320:23:35

There he is.

0:23:350:23:37

Lee? Lee!

0:23:370:23:39

Oh.

0:23:390:23:41

-How did you...?

-I've been doing this a lot longer than you have.

0:23:550:23:58

Now, look, we've got CCTV footage of you trying to sell the necklace.

0:23:580:24:03

If you've hurt Mia...

0:24:030:24:05

"Hurt her"? I've never touched her. I was doing her a favour.

0:24:050:24:08

What, so you and your girlfriend were planning this together,

0:24:080:24:11

-were you?

-"Girlfriend"? I only met her last night.

0:24:110:24:14

Look, it's true. I was working late, finishing off some lights,

0:24:140:24:17

and I saw her come out the summerhouse.

0:24:170:24:19

Mia, don't be like that!

0:24:190:24:21

I shouldn't have said anything!

0:24:210:24:23

What?

0:24:420:24:44

Lady Tania's girl, aren't you?

0:24:440:24:46

I'm nobody's girl.

0:24:460:24:48

We'll have to see about that.

0:24:480:24:50

Oh, really?

0:24:500:24:52

I'm Lee, by the way.

0:24:520:24:54

Nice to meet you, Lee By The Way.

0:24:540:24:56

I'm Mia.

0:24:560:24:58

-So what was Mia arguing with Rod about?

-Not a clue.

0:25:020:25:05

We just chatted. I fancied her, gave her my number.

0:25:050:25:09

Next thing I know, she's calling,

0:25:090:25:11

inviting herself round to mine in the middle of the night.

0:25:110:25:14

-What you doing here?

-Sorry. I know it's late.

0:25:160:25:19

I just thought you might...know people.

0:25:190:25:21

-What're you talking about?

-You said...you know...

0:25:210:25:24

you've been in trouble with the police and stuff.

0:25:240:25:28

Here.

0:25:280:25:29

Oh, my God! Where did you get that?

0:25:290:25:33

It's mine.

0:25:330:25:35

Sort of.

0:25:350:25:36

I need a favour.

0:25:360:25:38

Why would she give you the necklace if you'd only just met?

0:25:380:25:41

She was desperate for cash. Said she couldn't flog it herself,

0:25:410:25:44

cos there'd be people looking for her.

0:25:440:25:46

She offered me a cut if I did it.

0:25:460:25:47

Only the pawnbroker reckons it's not even legit.

0:25:470:25:50

-What, the necklace was fake?

-Went back to my place to tell Mia,

0:25:500:25:53

and she freaked out.

0:25:530:25:54

Left saying she'd have to make the money some other way.

0:25:540:25:57

What do you think happened with Ron to make Mia desperate for cash?

0:25:570:26:01

Don't know.

0:26:010:26:03

Yeah, Mia came to see me.

0:26:050:26:07

Maybe I should have mentioned it,

0:26:070:26:08

but I knew you'd jump to conclusions.

0:26:080:26:10

What were you arguing about?

0:26:100:26:12

Mia was upset, that's all.

0:26:130:26:15

She'd had a fight with her mum.

0:26:150:26:17

Something about her allowance.

0:26:170:26:18

Do you know why she needed money?

0:26:180:26:20

She never said. Too busy calling Lady Tania

0:26:200:26:23

all the names under the sun.

0:26:230:26:25

Why did Mia come to you?

0:26:250:26:28

I've known Mia since she was a baby.

0:26:280:26:30

We get on.

0:26:300:26:32

Or at least we did until I told her she should apologise to her mum.

0:26:320:26:36

Mia doesn't like being told what to do.

0:26:360:26:38

I'm sorry, I have to ask this.

0:26:380:26:40

Are you and Mia in a relationship?

0:26:400:26:43

No.

0:26:440:26:45

She's not even half my age.

0:26:460:26:48

Well, wouldn't stop most men.

0:26:480:26:50

-And I'm not most men.

-Yeah.

0:26:500:26:52

I'm sorry, look, I haven't got time for this. I've got to get on.

0:26:540:26:56

-We've got people turning up soon.

-Yeah, sorry.

0:26:560:26:59

-Thanks.

-Thanks.

0:26:590:27:01

So we still don't have a clue why Mia needed the money.

0:27:150:27:19

But it doesn't matter, does it? Cos either Mia was grabbed this morning

0:27:190:27:22

when she left Lee's flat, in which case the person'll be at the party

0:27:220:27:25

tonight to collect the ransom...

0:27:250:27:27

Or she wrote the note herself, as she'd be there to collect it.

0:27:270:27:31

Well, I haven't got any plans for tonight.

0:27:310:27:34

-We need to get kitted out.

-You haven't got a dinner jacket, then?

0:27:340:27:37

Well, as it happens, no.

0:27:370:27:38

-But that's not what I'm talking about.

-Oh.

0:27:380:27:40

Ah, Frankie!

0:27:450:27:46

Now, what have I told you about bringing people back here?

0:27:480:27:51

It's bad luck to have a woman onboard.

0:27:510:27:54

Bring a woman back here, trust me, I don't think you'd have much luck!

0:27:540:27:57

It's fine. We're partners.

0:27:570:28:00

Now, listen, we need some comms gear.

0:28:000:28:01

Discreet.

0:28:010:28:03

-Environment?

-A party.

0:28:030:28:06

The End of the Summer Ball at Thessley Hall.

0:28:060:28:08

Nice!

0:28:080:28:10

All right. I've got some kit, but there's one problem.

0:28:100:28:13

-What?

-I'll need to be there.

0:28:130:28:14

Well, can't you just teach us to operate it ourselves?

0:28:140:28:17

Yes, I could, but I've heard those balls are epic,

0:28:170:28:19

and I don't get out much.

0:28:190:28:21

So what do you say?

0:28:220:28:24

-Well, thanks, AJ. Keep the change.

-Thanks very much,

0:28:420:28:45

Miss Shakespeare. May I say how delightful you look this evening.

0:28:450:28:48

-Yes, you may.

-Frank, I don't have the words, mate.

0:28:480:28:51

It was all they had left.

0:28:510:28:53

Well, I think you look very handsome.

0:28:530:28:55

Where's your mate? I thought he was meeting us here.

0:28:570:29:00

Oh, he's undercover.

0:29:000:29:02

-Refreshments?

-Ooh, thank you.

0:29:110:29:12

-SHE GASPS

-Sebastian, you look amazing!

0:29:120:29:15

-Sh! I'm invisible.

-Yes, no, of course.

0:29:150:29:17

Good luck with that.

0:29:170:29:19

Right, got your earpieces in?

0:29:190:29:21

-Yeah.

-Affirmative.

0:29:210:29:23

What did you do with your radio pack?

0:29:260:29:27

I've stuffed... None of your business.

0:29:270:29:30

Excuse me.

0:29:300:29:32

Now, you know the drill -

0:29:350:29:36

-circulate amongst the guests and keep your eyes peeled.

-OK!

0:29:360:29:41

Hi, I'm Spider.

0:29:540:29:56

Oh, creep.

0:29:560:29:58

GLASS CLINKING

0:30:020:30:04

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Thessley Hall.

0:30:070:30:11

This evening is all about raising funds for local charities,

0:30:110:30:15

so when our fairies come around with the raffle,

0:30:150:30:18

please dig deep.

0:30:180:30:21

And in the meantime, please help yourselves to the buffet,

0:30:210:30:25

and the bar,

0:30:250:30:26

and may I wish you a magical evening.

0:30:260:30:30

And now, a toast.

0:30:300:30:32

To the end of summer!

0:30:380:30:40

-ALL:

-To the end of summer!

0:30:400:30:42

Do you have the money?

0:30:580:31:00

Yes.

0:31:000:31:01

I'll leave it by the fountain just before midnight.

0:31:010:31:04

Do you think we'll get her back?

0:31:050:31:08

Absolutely.

0:31:080:31:09

Don't let it out of your sight.

0:31:200:31:21

Yeah, I'm not a complete idiot. Nobody's been near it all night.

0:31:210:31:25

Sebastian, where are you?

0:31:250:31:27

Sorry, had to get more fizz.

0:31:270:31:28

This lot drink like fish.

0:31:280:31:30

Spider?

0:31:300:31:32

Spider?

0:31:340:31:35

Yeah, I wouldn't bother if I was you. Last I...

0:31:350:31:37

Evening!

0:31:370:31:39

..saw him he was stuffing his face with smoked salmon.

0:31:390:31:42

It's nearly midnight.

0:31:420:31:44

I know.

0:31:440:31:45

What if nobody comes?

0:31:450:31:47

We'll deal with that if it happens.

0:31:470:31:49

WOMAN SCREAMS

0:31:490:31:51

Come on, everybody! Drink up!

0:31:540:31:57

It's supposed to be a party!

0:31:570:32:01

Think that's funny, do you?

0:32:010:32:03

Thank you. At least there's one gentleman around here.

0:32:030:32:06

Has anyone ever told you, you have a very large...

0:32:090:32:15

-nose?

-LAUGHTER

0:32:150:32:17

But it's lovely.

0:32:170:32:18

What happened to her?

0:32:200:32:22

I've no idea. One minute, she was fine, the next she was like this.

0:32:220:32:25

I'll get her inside.

0:32:250:32:27

It's all right. I'll do it.

0:32:270:32:28

SHE GIGGLES

0:32:280:32:30

-Time for a lie down, I think.

-But I hardly know you!

0:32:300:32:33

I only had a glass of Champagne.

0:32:400:32:43

Course you did.

0:32:430:32:45

It's a very long time since a man took me to bed.

0:32:480:32:53

I thought you were married for 20 years.

0:32:530:32:55

Oh, it turns out that I wasn't my husband's type.

0:32:550:32:58

It's very simple, darling.

0:32:590:33:00

I wanted to get away from my parents and he wanted a beard.

0:33:000:33:03

But sh...

0:33:060:33:07

-WHISPERING:

-It's our little secret.

0:33:070:33:10

So Mia...

0:33:110:33:12

Mia. Darling Mia...

0:33:120:33:15

She was a gift from the fairies.

0:33:160:33:18

Why don't you stay here and give me a cuddle?

0:33:210:33:24

If you can tear yourself away, we've got a bit of a problem.

0:33:250:33:28

-What sort of problem?

-No problem here.

0:33:280:33:30

The bag's gone.

0:33:300:33:32

One of the guests wasn't feeling well.

0:33:320:33:34

She asked for a glass of water. I couldn't exactly say no.

0:33:340:33:37

And this guy started chatting me up.

0:33:370:33:39

I mean, I looked away for literally a second.

0:33:390:33:41

Well, that's all it takes.

0:33:410:33:43

What are we going to do?

0:33:430:33:45

Who are you talking to?

0:33:470:33:49

OK.

0:33:490:33:51

Look, when you say that Mia was a present from the fairies,

0:33:530:33:58

what did you mean? That Lord Bede wasn't her dad?

0:33:580:34:02

If you tell me the truth, it might help me to find her.

0:34:030:34:06

Or mean I lose her forever.

0:34:080:34:09

Party's not over yet.

0:34:260:34:27

I've got an early start. I'm flying back to Spain.

0:34:290:34:31

Mia going with you?

0:34:310:34:33

I told you, we're not together.

0:34:330:34:35

No.

0:34:350:34:37

She's your daughter.

0:34:370:34:39

Is that why she came here last night? Did she come to tell you?

0:34:390:34:42

That was the first I knew about it.

0:34:460:34:49

When did Mia find out?

0:34:490:34:51

Before he died, Lord Bede told her he wasn't her real dad.

0:34:510:34:54

A couple of weeks ago, she nicked my comb,

0:34:540:34:56

sent it off to some private hospital to test the DNA.

0:34:560:34:59

St Theodore's.

0:34:590:35:01

That's what the £200 was for.

0:35:010:35:03

She got the results yesterday.

0:35:030:35:05

Why test you?

0:35:050:35:07

Mia reckons she's always sensed something between me and her mum.

0:35:070:35:12

And as she was born nine months after the first ball...

0:35:120:35:15

She's a bright kid.

0:35:150:35:16

What happened last night? Why did Mia storm off?

0:35:160:35:19

She was upset that her mum lied to her for so long.

0:35:190:35:22

She wanted to come to Spain with me,

0:35:220:35:25

and I told her I can't afford to support her.

0:35:250:35:28

I can barely keep a shirt on my own back.

0:35:280:35:30

That's why she wanted the money.

0:35:300:35:33

We've got to get out of...

0:35:330:35:35

Hello, Mia.

0:35:350:35:37

Are they police?

0:35:370:35:40

Not exactly, but they know.

0:35:400:35:42

Know what?

0:35:420:35:44

That you took the necklace to pay your own way. When Lee couldn't sell

0:35:440:35:48

it, you came up with a new plan to make some money.

0:35:480:35:50

SHE GASPS

0:36:060:36:08

Then you recruited your old man to create a distraction by spiking

0:36:110:36:17

your mother's drink.

0:36:170:36:19

Bit cruel, wasn't it? Letting Lady Tania think her daughter had been

0:36:340:36:38

-kidnapped.

-"Cruel"?

0:36:380:36:39

And she keeps my child secret from me for 19 years.

0:36:400:36:44

I loved that woman,

0:36:440:36:46

but as far as Her Ladyship was concerned,

0:36:460:36:48

it was just a bit of summer madness. She went back to her husband,

0:36:480:36:51

her country pile, her title, like it hadn't even happened.

0:36:510:36:55

How about you, Mia? Were you really going to just take the money and go?

0:36:570:37:01

Let your mum think you're dead?

0:37:010:37:03

Why should I care?

0:37:030:37:06

She lied to me for my whole life.

0:37:060:37:10

She cared more about this stupid necklace than she did me.

0:37:100:37:14

Give her this with my regards.

0:37:140:37:16

Wait a minute. Show me that.

0:37:160:37:17

This is her priceless heirloom?

0:37:210:37:23

Except the pawnbroker said it was junk.

0:37:230:37:26

Well, yeah, course it's junk.

0:37:260:37:28

I paid a tenner for it in a market in Marrakech.

0:37:280:37:30

That's all I could afford at the time.

0:37:300:37:32

She kept it?

0:37:330:37:36

More than that.

0:37:360:37:37

She was willing to pay £10,000 to get it back.

0:37:370:37:41

What for? I told her, then - it's worthless.

0:37:410:37:43

Not to her.

0:37:450:37:46

Maybe it was more than a bit of summer madness.

0:37:480:37:50

This'll help.

0:38:100:38:11

What happened?

0:38:140:38:16

A funny turn.

0:38:170:38:19

Why are you here?

0:38:300:38:32

I was...

0:38:330:38:36

reminiscing.

0:38:360:38:38

Don't.

0:38:390:38:41

I have something for you.

0:38:450:38:47

Mia?

0:38:550:38:57

Safe and sound.

0:38:570:38:58

SHE SIGHS

0:38:580:39:00

That man...

0:39:030:39:06

the private investigator...

0:39:060:39:07

He didn't say anything, did he?

0:39:070:39:10

I already knew.

0:39:100:39:12

Mia told me.

0:39:120:39:14

Mia knew?

0:39:140:39:17

How?

0:39:170:39:19

You should talk to her.

0:39:190:39:21

Ron,

0:39:240:39:25

-Ron, I...

-I hated you...

0:39:250:39:29

when she told me.

0:39:290:39:31

-Yes.

-But now,

0:39:340:39:38

I wonder...

0:39:380:39:40

maybe you thought...

0:39:400:39:43

You told me, that night, that you wanted to see the world.

0:39:430:39:48

And who was I to stop you?

0:39:490:39:52

I would've stayed.

0:39:520:39:54

Perhaps.

0:39:560:39:58

I hear you planned to wear this tonight.

0:40:040:40:06

You must've known I'd recognise it.

0:40:100:40:12

So...?

0:40:140:40:16

I hoped...

0:40:200:40:22

Tell me.

0:40:250:40:27

I thought...

0:40:290:40:33

with Jeremy gone...

0:40:330:40:35

..perhaps we...

0:40:380:40:40

Perhaps...?

0:40:430:40:45

It might not be too late.

0:40:480:40:50

Perhaps.

0:40:520:40:54

They are supposed to be for the guests.

0:40:570:41:00

I owe you a debt of gratitude.

0:41:080:41:10

The ten grand will be fine.

0:41:100:41:13

We're just glad to be of service, aren't we?

0:41:130:41:15

All's well that ends well.

0:41:150:41:17

Ooh.

0:41:170:41:19

Mum...

0:41:190:41:21

can we talk?

0:41:210:41:23

HE BELCHES Excuse me.

0:41:250:41:28

# If you're afraid that I won't make the grade

0:41:320:41:37

# Well, then I'll sail this ship alone

0:41:370:41:44

# And if you agree to him instead of me

0:41:480:41:54

# Well, then I'll sail this ship alone

0:41:540:42:01

# Well they said if I wrote the perfect letter

0:42:040:42:09

# That I would have a chance

0:42:090:42:13

# Well, I wrote it and you burned it

0:42:130:42:17

# And now do I have a chance anyway now? #

0:42:170:42:23

Oh.

0:42:230:42:25

Hey. Fancy a dance?

0:42:250:42:29

No, I...I don't dance.

0:42:290:42:31

Why? You got two left feet?

0:42:310:42:32

No, I don't want to show everybody else up.

0:42:320:42:34

Oh, come on. Worst that could happen, you can wake up tomorrow,

0:42:340:42:37

and pretend it was all a weird dream.

0:42:370:42:39

-There you are! There must and shall be dancing.

-Ooh!

0:42:390:42:43

Can I ask a favour? I think my mum's been through enough...

0:42:470:42:50

Ah, it's all right. Your secret's safe with us.

0:42:500:42:53

Thanks.

0:42:530:42:55

They look good, don't they?

0:42:550:42:58

Yeah. It's not really my specialist subject.

0:42:580:43:01

We don't usually deal in happy-ever-afters.

0:43:010:43:04

Still, I think she'll be happy.

0:43:040:43:06

Some people aren't meant to be alone.

0:43:070:43:10

Come on!

0:43:240:43:26

Arriba!

0:43:260:43:28

Frank's got the moves!

0:43:280:43:31

THEY LAUGH

0:43:310:43:33

You should do Strictly.

0:43:350:43:36

Ooh!

0:43:410:43:43

# She's got it

0:43:430:43:45

# Oh, baby, she's got it. #

0:43:450:43:47

Morning!

0:43:510:43:53

Morning.

0:43:530:43:55

SIGHING

0:43:570:43:59

Morning!

0:44:030:44:05

Frank and Lu must recover a precious jewel and a rebellious teenager before midnight strikes at Lady Bede's end-of-summer ball.