Ill Met by Moonlight Shakespeare & Hathaway - Private Investigators

OWL HOOTS

Something came up.

It's not important.

INDISTINCT MALE VOICE

I said I'm sorry!

No, I don't want you to come over.

Because I can't deal with you right now!

GLASS SMASHING LOUDLY

Mia?

Mia, is that you?

Mia?

No, I'm afraid they're out on a job.

I will tell them the moment they get back, yes.

Thank you. Bye.

He got injured paragliding in Lanzarote

when he should have been at work.

That's irrelevant. You said he was faking it, I said he wasn't.

You owe me a tenner.

-Another audition?

-Fashion choice.

Actually, I've decided to take vintage to a whole new level.

A very nice lady just called about a missing item.

She asked if you'd pop over to her estate.

HE SIGHS

You tell her if she wants to see me, she can come here.

-Well, hang on, shouldn't we find out...?

-I'm not traipsing all over

some dodgy housing estate because some old bat's

lost her garden gnome! No, thank you.

Ah, he's just grumpy cos he lost a bet.

Yes, hello. May I speak to Lady Tania Bede, please?

-Lady Bede?

-I'll hold.

-Of Thessley Hall?

-That's the one.

-Oh, we can make some exceptions!

Go and march or something. Go on.

The Bedes put on a charity fundraiser once a year

to celebrate the autumn equinox. The End of Summer Ball.

Ah, can't say I've ever had an invite.

That's because you have to be a millionaire to get on the guest list.

Big deal, apparently.

No wonder she's lost something.

I bet her toilets are in a different postcode.

Mm-hm. "Lavatories," actually, please.

Could we not lower ourselves to the standards of the hoi polloi?

Yeah, talking of hoi polloi, if something's gone missing...

Oh, come on. If I said that, you'd say I was jumping to conclusions.

That's because when you say it, you are.

I'm merely drawing on my many years of experience.

A wealth of knowledge.

Where do you need me, Mr Greenvale?

You're late.

-Big night, was it?

-No, just...

-didn't get that much sleep.

-Oh, yeah?

-I'm fine to work.

-Oh, I hope so.

There's a lot to do if we're going to be ready for tonight.

Go and help Phil move the generator.

Your Ladyship.

We agreed none of you were to go into the main house.

We did.

So why are there labourers filling buckets in my utility?

I'll sort it.

I've been wanting to speak to you.

This is going to be my last year.

Running the event, I mean.

-But you've always...

-20 years is a long time.

And now I've got the house in Spain...

I'm sure you'll find someone else.

Very well.

Thank you for letting me know.

Who are they?

They're here to see me.

It's a private matter.

FRANK SLURPS LOUDLY

You mentioned that...

LU LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

So you mentioned that you had an item that went missing.

Two, actually.

The first is this.

It's called Love-In-Idleness.

One of a kind.

It was stolen from that display cabinet last night.

Worth a few bob, then?

It's priceless.

It was given to me at our very first ball 20 years ago.

I hoped to wear it tonight.

It's not the most secure place to put a priceless heirloom.

I kept it in our safe until recently,

but I wanted to be able to see it.

-Foolish, really.

-Burglar alarm?

Yes, but it was switched off -

which brings me to the second item...

..my daughter, Mia. She disappeared at the same time.

I'd... Not that I would want to do us out of a job,

but if your daughter's missing,

shouldn't you have called the police?

That doll was left by the cabinet.

I gave it to Mia when she was a baby.

No doubt it's a message.

You think Mia took the necklace?

A burglar would have taken other valuables.

Mia and I have had some disagreements recently.

If the police get involved, it will all get out of hand.

I just want my necklace back.

Right. Well, so our standard terms of business

-would mean that you would have to...

-I will give you £10,000 -

if, and only if, you retrieve it by tonight.

-You're on.

-Perhaps I should show you Mia's bedroom.

-Yeah.

WHISPERING: Ten grand for a day's work, what's not to like?

Yeah, but what if we don't find it in time?

We will! We're the dream team, remember?

Here.

This is Mia's bedroom.

Is there anything missing?

Not that I can tell.

A few clothes maybe.

We're going to need Mia's mobile and e-mail,

maybe a list of friends, places she liked to go, that sort of thing.

To be honest, her life outside of this house is a mystery to me.

You mentioned "disagreements."

Since my husband died a year ago, Mia has been...

troubled.

Coming and going at all hours.

Exams were a disaster.

And I had to stop her allowance,

because I found drugs in her handbag.

That's like me when I was 18.

Not the drugs! Just, you know, just generally 18-ish stuff.

It's, erm...

Has Mia run away before?

Yes, but something tells me this time she means it.

Anyone she might have spent time with recently?

You could try Helen.

They've been inseparable for years.

-They went to boarding school together.

-Surname?

Nedarson. That's her there.

MOBILE RINGS

Caterers. I should take this.

Lady Bede speaking.

-WHISPERING:

-Is it just me or does that woman care more about a piece

of jewellery than her own daughter?

#Justsaying

-Popular girl, isn't she?

-Mm. Are you jealous?

Do you know a St Theodore's Hospital?

No, sorry.

Well, according to this,

Mia gave them 200 quid a couple of weeks ago.

I'm going to need you to check that out, Sebastian.

-And I want you to visit some pawn shops.

-Lucky me!

Pawnbrokers! Try Highwall and Sons first.

They deal with the more pricey stuff.

Do you think she'll try and flog the necklace?

Well, why else would she take it? If she's going to run away,

she'll need cash.

And according to this, she's right on her overdraft limit.

I know where we can look for Helen Nedarson.

Great.

She's... Well, hang on, I haven't told you yet.

Yeah, you go. There's someone else who might be able to help.

-But don't...don't you want...?

-A deadline like this calls for

drastic measures. Catch you later.

-DOOR SLAMS

-OK.

Wrong.

Still wrong.

Spider, open the door or I'll tell your mam what you look at online.

She'd be relieved.

She thinks I spend all day looking at dirty pictures.

Ow!

Three, two, one, lift.

And up, go.

-Helen Nedarson?

-Yes.

Hi, can I have a word? I'm Lu Shakespeare.

I'm looking into the disappearance of Mia Bede.

Mia? What's happened?

She disappeared last night.

Along with a rather expensive item belonging to her mother.

-Are you police?

-No, I'm a private investigator.

Lady Tania hired us to find her daughter.

When did you last see Mia?

Yesterday afternoon. I went over to hers.

Did she seem distressed? Or mention any plans to go away?

No. Nothing like that.

And you haven't had contact with her since?

Should I be worried?

Well, I'm sure we'll find her.

Can I ask, do you recognise him?

Yeah. Dimitri.

They've been seeing each other.

I don't think it's serious, though.

Not enough for them to elope!

Erm, where might I find him, do you know?

Here. He's the club captain.

His crew've got training at noon.

You've been really helpful, thanks. And if...if Mia does get in touch

-will you...?

-I'll give you a buzz straight away. Promise.

-Thanks.

It's me.

We need to talk about last night.

-Beer?

-Nah.

It's a bit early, even for me.

Yeah, well, you're not being pursued over the dark Web

by Russian hackers.

Turns out I might've nicked a load of their Bitcoins.

Much as I love hearing about your cyber-geekery,

we're working a missing persons case and we're short on time.

So you want to cut some corners?

Yeah, can you check this mobile number?

Any calls or messages in the last 24 hours?

I could, but it's not strictly legal.

Since when has anything you've ever done in your life

been strictly legal, Spider?

Yeah, what I'm saying is, it'll cost you.

Well, in this case, money isn't an issue.

If we find her.

-PHONE RINGS

-All right, I'll be in touch.

-Shouldn't take long.

-Thanks.

Oh. Hello.

Hang on a sec.

Word of advice, from a friend...

Yeah?

..you might want to open some of these windows a bit.

You know, let some air in. Just...

It stinks.

Yeah. What did she say?

HE SNIFFS

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Mr Erasmus? We're private investigators.

We're looking for Mia.

Tried Thessley Hall?

Lady Tania's the one that hired us.

Mia's gone missing.

I've not heard from Mia for days.

And you haven't been worried about that?

-Should I have been?

-Well, it's just, I thought you two were an item.

It was just a casual thing.

-Bit of fun.

-Was? Does that mean you've split up?

No, erm... I'd been planning on ending it,

but I've not heard from her.

-And I've been busy with training, so...

-Where were you last night?

At home.

All night. Sorry, but my crew is waiting for me.

He's hiding something. And I'm not just talking about the sock stuffed

-down his... I'm joking. I wasn't looking.

-Keep watch.

How do you know his combination?

Finely-honed observational skills.

Hm. Remind me not to stand in front of you at the cash machine.

-Too late. Your PIN number's five, four, three...

-Shush!

So if you just... So you'd do this.

-Yes.

-And then it's just... The triceps.

-Yes.

"Polly Hoppins"?

Oh, I know Polly! She used to come into the salon.

She makes jewellery. She's got a shop in town.

Well, if Mia's just a bit of fun,

why's our rower friend spending five grand on a diamond ring?

Polly does remember Dimitri.

Definitely an engagement ring, and that's not all.

-Go on.

-Apparently, he called her this morning, asking to return it,

and get a refund, and when Polly said no,

Dimitri just went mad. Just started yelling at her down the phone.

PHONE RINGS Oh!

What have you got for me? VIDEO GAME GUNSHOTS

Only two calls logged from the girl's phone in the last 24 hours.

One to an unregistered pay-as-you-go.

One to a number registered Dimitri Erasmus.

Both were just before midnight last night.

-Nothing since?

-Nope.

I've tried tracking her GPS, but it seems like her phone is off.

Good work. Now, I want you to send me the exact times of those calls.

Yeah. I will do, along with me invoice.

Yes. See you later.

It's just work, work, work.

Dimitri lied.

They did speak last night.

So maybe he proposed and she said no

or something gave him cold feet.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh!

Hello, Lu Shakespeare speaking.

It's Lady Bede.

You've got to come back to Thessley Hall.

We've found something.

It was found in the middle of a footpath in the gardens.

I've asked all my ground crew. Nobody saw how it got there.

And this was on top.

"If you want to see your daughter again,

"leave £50,000 in cash under the fountain by midnight tonight."

-We need to call the police.

-It specifically says no police.

Frank's an ex-officer. If he thinks we should call...

No police! Until she's safe.

It's Lady Tania's decision.

I'm so foolish.

I assumed it was just Mia being Mia.

-You shouldn't be blaming yourself.

-Of course I should!

She's my daughter, and you'd understand if you...

Please, bring her back.

We'll do everything we can.

That's the second number Mia called last night.

-What, the kidnapper's?

-Maybe.

But if it's a burner, we'll never trace it.

You don't know why Mia made a payment to St Theodore's Hospital

at the end of last month, do you?

I wasn't aware she had.

She hadn't been ill? Or had surgery or anything?

No.

No, nothing like that.

The ransom money...

-Do you have access to...?

-I'll call the bank.

-Just in case.

-Hopefully we won't need to use it.

The concierge at his block of flats said Dimitri

did go out last night. Came back in about two.

-Apparently, he was in a right state.

-What, drunk?

And upset. Muttering something about being an idiot.

What if Mia was pregnant?

Pregnant?

Yeah. Go with me on this, right?

So Mia tells Dimitri. He does a bit of soul-searching,

does the right thing and buys her a ring...

but then, in the meantime, Mia's been and had a...

you know, termination - hence the payment to the hospital.

Cost more than 200 quid for a private hospital, wouldn't it?

Maybe that was just one instalment.

Go on.

Well, Polly said that Dimitri had a bit of a temper on him, didn't she?

So what if when Mia tells him she's been behind his back,

he gets angry, he lashes out...

and then he tries to cover his tracks by pretending she's run away?

Ah, it's a bit of a leap.

I mean, if he was going to kill her, why bother with a ransom note?

Well, 50,000's a lot, isn't it? Even for a posh boy.

Oh, I don't know.

Planting a hoodie in broad daylight's risky.

That's him. What do we do now?

Well, normally, I'd say watch and wait, but...

what the hell.

-Mr Erasmus...

-I said, I haven't heard from her.

And yet she called your mobile just before midnight.

-You said you were home all night.

-I was.

-No, you weren't.

What can you tell me about this engagement ring?

-How do you know all this?

-Was Mia pregnant?

Pregnant? Well, if she was, she didn't tell me.

-Look, we're done here.

-They found Mia's hoodie.

It's covered in blood.

Some of my friends at the police force are less discreet than me.

OK. Yes, I spoke to her.

She was supposed to come round to mine.

You were going to propose?

-But she never turned up.

-That must've hurt.

-Did you go and confront her?

-No!

I went out, yes, but I didn't go anywhere near Thessley Hall.

And I've an alibi.

Who?

I can't say.

-Nine, nine... What was the other number again?

-OK!

But you have to swear not to tell anyone.

Dimitri came to ask about Mia.

He didn't know why she stood him up.

He still planned to propose. I didn't want him to get hurt so...

..I told him the truth.

What's that?

Mia's been seeing someone else.

Dmitri's just so...

Handsome?

Loaded?

Ripped?

If you love him so much, why don't you go out with him?

I wish.

-I bet there's someone else.

-No.

There is, isn't there?

Right, maybe.

-Who? Tell me.

-It's...

If you say "complicated", I'm smothering you with this pillow.

I can't say. Not yet.

At least tell me where you met.

Right here in my own back garden.

You grassed your best mate up to her boyfriend just like that?

"Best mate"? That's a joke! I've liked Dimitri for years.

Mia knows that and she hooked up with him anyway

-just to pass the time.

-Why didn't you tell me all this

-in the first place?

-I thought Mia was just out partying somewhere.

And I didn't want her finding out, did I?

You and Dimitri?

SHE SIGHS

He was upset. We had a drink and then...

you know... I didn't plan it or anything.

-It just happened.

-And you were with him till just before two?

After we...

He dozed off,

and when he woke up he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

He made me swear never to tell anyone.

Nothing like a vow of silence to make a girl feel special.

So Lady Tania said she was woken up around midnight.

Dimitri and Helen have given each other an alibi for that time.

They could both be lying.

Let's assume for a moment Helen's telling the truth.

That would mean Mia has been seeing another bloke

she met at Thessley Hall.

Well, the events crew have been in there for a while.

It could be one of them. I don't know how do we find out who, though.

By finding out who this phone number belongs to.

-I assume you've tried calling it?

-Yeah.

Just keeps going to answerphone.

I'll keep trying - might get lucky.

But soft! What delight through yonder window breaks?

I come bearing gifts.

What the hell are you wearing?

I got it at the pawnbroker. He recognised the necklace.

Some guy brought it in this morning, but then left again when they

wouldn't match his asking price.

Still doesn't explain the dead animal.

Erm, it's faux, and the owner said he wouldn't give me the CCTV

unless I bought something.

I put it on the company credit card.

Erm, since when did we have a company credit card?

Let's have a look at that CCTV, shall we?

Lu? Lu?

Hey!

I recognise him. He was at the estate this morning.

£10 says he's Mia's secret boyfriend.

-I'm not making any more bets with you.

-Spoil-sport.

And this means I get to keep the coat.

Right?

HE PURRS

-Any news?

-Not yet.

We're still making enquiries.

In which case, why are you back here?

We want to talk to somebody who might have come into contact

with the necklace. Or Mia.

-Or both.

-Do you, erm...do you know him?

It could be one of the labourers.

Ask Mr Greenvale.

Excuse me.

Mr Greenvale.

Frank Hathaway. I'm a private investigator.

Do you, erm, know him?

Yeah, it's Lee. He's been working with me.

There he is.

Lee? Lee!

Oh.

-How did you...?

-I've been doing this a lot longer than you have.

Now, look, we've got CCTV footage of you trying to sell the necklace.

If you've hurt Mia...

"Hurt her"? I've never touched her. I was doing her a favour.

What, so you and your girlfriend were planning this together,

-were you?

-"Girlfriend"? I only met her last night.

Look, it's true. I was working late, finishing off some lights,

and I saw her come out the summerhouse.

Mia, don't be like that!

I shouldn't have said anything!

What?

Lady Tania's girl, aren't you?

I'm nobody's girl.

We'll have to see about that.

Oh, really?

I'm Lee, by the way.

Nice to meet you, Lee By The Way.

I'm Mia.

-So what was Mia arguing with Rod about?

-Not a clue.

We just chatted. I fancied her, gave her my number.

Next thing I know, she's calling,

inviting herself round to mine in the middle of the night.

-What you doing here?

-Sorry. I know it's late.

I just thought you might...know people.

-What're you talking about?

-You said...you know...

you've been in trouble with the police and stuff.

Here.

Oh, my God! Where did you get that?

It's mine.

Sort of.

I need a favour.

Why would she give you the necklace if you'd only just met?

She was desperate for cash. Said she couldn't flog it herself,

cos there'd be people looking for her.

She offered me a cut if I did it.

Only the pawnbroker reckons it's not even legit.

-What, the necklace was fake?

-Went back to my place to tell Mia,

and she freaked out.

Left saying she'd have to make the money some other way.

What do you think happened with Ron to make Mia desperate for cash?

Don't know.

Yeah, Mia came to see me.

Maybe I should have mentioned it,

but I knew you'd jump to conclusions.

What were you arguing about?

Mia was upset, that's all.

She'd had a fight with her mum.

Something about her allowance.

Do you know why she needed money?

She never said. Too busy calling Lady Tania

all the names under the sun.

Why did Mia come to you?

I've known Mia since she was a baby.

We get on.

Or at least we did until I told her she should apologise to her mum.

Mia doesn't like being told what to do.

I'm sorry, I have to ask this.

Are you and Mia in a relationship?

No.

She's not even half my age.

Well, wouldn't stop most men.

-And I'm not most men.

-Yeah.

I'm sorry, look, I haven't got time for this. I've got to get on.

-We've got people turning up soon.

-Yeah, sorry.

-Thanks.

-Thanks.

So we still don't have a clue why Mia needed the money.

But it doesn't matter, does it? Cos either Mia was grabbed this morning

when she left Lee's flat, in which case the person'll be at the party

tonight to collect the ransom...

Or she wrote the note herself, as she'd be there to collect it.

Well, I haven't got any plans for tonight.

-We need to get kitted out.

-You haven't got a dinner jacket, then?

Well, as it happens, no.

-But that's not what I'm talking about.

-Oh.

Ah, Frankie!

Now, what have I told you about bringing people back here?

It's bad luck to have a woman onboard.

Bring a woman back here, trust me, I don't think you'd have much luck!

It's fine. We're partners.

Now, listen, we need some comms gear.

Discreet.

-Environment?

-A party.

The End of the Summer Ball at Thessley Hall.

Nice!

All right. I've got some kit, but there's one problem.

-What?

-I'll need to be there.

Well, can't you just teach us to operate it ourselves?

Yes, I could, but I've heard those balls are epic,

and I don't get out much.

So what do you say?

-Well, thanks, AJ. Keep the change.

-Thanks very much,

Miss Shakespeare. May I say how delightful you look this evening.

-Yes, you may.

-Frank, I don't have the words, mate.

It was all they had left.

Well, I think you look very handsome.

Where's your mate? I thought he was meeting us here.

Oh, he's undercover.

-Refreshments?

-Ooh, thank you.

-SHE GASPS

-Sebastian, you look amazing!

-Sh! I'm invisible.

-Yes, no, of course.

Good luck with that.

Right, got your earpieces in?

-Yeah.

-Affirmative.

What did you do with your radio pack?

I've stuffed... None of your business.

Excuse me.

Now, you know the drill -

-circulate amongst the guests and keep your eyes peeled.

-OK!

Hi, I'm Spider.

Oh, creep.

GLASS CLINKING

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Thessley Hall.

This evening is all about raising funds for local charities,

so when our fairies come around with the raffle,

please dig deep.

And in the meantime, please help yourselves to the buffet,

and the bar,

and may I wish you a magical evening.

And now, a toast.

To the end of summer!

-ALL:

-To the end of summer!

Do you have the money?

Yes.

I'll leave it by the fountain just before midnight.

Do you think we'll get her back?

Absolutely.

Don't let it out of your sight.

Yeah, I'm not a complete idiot. Nobody's been near it all night.

Sebastian, where are you?

Sorry, had to get more fizz.

This lot drink like fish.

Spider?

Spider?

Yeah, I wouldn't bother if I was you. Last I...

Evening!

..saw him he was stuffing his face with smoked salmon.

It's nearly midnight.

I know.

What if nobody comes?

We'll deal with that if it happens.

WOMAN SCREAMS

Come on, everybody! Drink up!

It's supposed to be a party!

Think that's funny, do you?

Thank you. At least there's one gentleman around here.

Has anyone ever told you, you have a very large...

-nose?

-LAUGHTER

But it's lovely.

What happened to her?

I've no idea. One minute, she was fine, the next she was like this.

I'll get her inside.

It's all right. I'll do it.

SHE GIGGLES

-Time for a lie down, I think.

-But I hardly know you!

I only had a glass of Champagne.

Course you did.

It's a very long time since a man took me to bed.

I thought you were married for 20 years.

Oh, it turns out that I wasn't my husband's type.

It's very simple, darling.

I wanted to get away from my parents and he wanted a beard.

But sh...

-WHISPERING:

-It's our little secret.

So Mia...

Mia. Darling Mia...

She was a gift from the fairies.

Why don't you stay here and give me a cuddle?

If you can tear yourself away, we've got a bit of a problem.

-What sort of problem?

-No problem here.

The bag's gone.

One of the guests wasn't feeling well.

She asked for a glass of water. I couldn't exactly say no.

And this guy started chatting me up.

I mean, I looked away for literally a second.

Well, that's all it takes.

What are we going to do?

Who are you talking to?

OK.

Look, when you say that Mia was a present from the fairies,

what did you mean? That Lord Bede wasn't her dad?

If you tell me the truth, it might help me to find her.

Or mean I lose her forever.

Party's not over yet.

I've got an early start. I'm flying back to Spain.

Mia going with you?

I told you, we're not together.

No.

She's your daughter.

Is that why she came here last night? Did she come to tell you?

That was the first I knew about it.

When did Mia find out?

Before he died, Lord Bede told her he wasn't her real dad.

A couple of weeks ago, she nicked my comb,

sent it off to some private hospital to test the DNA.

St Theodore's.

That's what the £200 was for.

She got the results yesterday.

Why test you?

Mia reckons she's always sensed something between me and her mum.

And as she was born nine months after the first ball...

She's a bright kid.

What happened last night? Why did Mia storm off?

She was upset that her mum lied to her for so long.

She wanted to come to Spain with me,

and I told her I can't afford to support her.

I can barely keep a shirt on my own back.

That's why she wanted the money.

We've got to get out of...

Hello, Mia.

Are they police?

Not exactly, but they know.

Know what?

That you took the necklace to pay your own way. When Lee couldn't sell

it, you came up with a new plan to make some money.

SHE GASPS

Then you recruited your old man to create a distraction by spiking

your mother's drink.

Bit cruel, wasn't it? Letting Lady Tania think her daughter had been

-kidnapped.

-"Cruel"?

And she keeps my child secret from me for 19 years.

I loved that woman,

but as far as Her Ladyship was concerned,

it was just a bit of summer madness. She went back to her husband,

her country pile, her title, like it hadn't even happened.

How about you, Mia? Were you really going to just take the money and go?

Let your mum think you're dead?

Why should I care?

She lied to me for my whole life.

She cared more about this stupid necklace than she did me.

Give her this with my regards.

Wait a minute. Show me that.

This is her priceless heirloom?

Except the pawnbroker said it was junk.

Well, yeah, course it's junk.

I paid a tenner for it in a market in Marrakech.

That's all I could afford at the time.

She kept it?

More than that.

She was willing to pay £10,000 to get it back.

What for? I told her, then - it's worthless.

Not to her.

Maybe it was more than a bit of summer madness.

This'll help.

What happened?

A funny turn.

Why are you here?

I was...

reminiscing.

Don't.

I have something for you.

Mia?

Safe and sound.

SHE SIGHS

That man...

the private investigator...

He didn't say anything, did he?

I already knew.

Mia told me.

Mia knew?

How?

You should talk to her.

Ron,

-Ron, I...

-I hated you...

when she told me.

-Yes.

-But now,

I wonder...

maybe you thought...

You told me, that night, that you wanted to see the world.

And who was I to stop you?

I would've stayed.

Perhaps.

I hear you planned to wear this tonight.

You must've known I'd recognise it.

So...?

I hoped...

Tell me.

I thought...

with Jeremy gone...

..perhaps we...

Perhaps...?

It might not be too late.

Perhaps.

They are supposed to be for the guests.

I owe you a debt of gratitude.

The ten grand will be fine.

We're just glad to be of service, aren't we?

All's well that ends well.

Ooh.

Mum...

can we talk?

HE BELCHES Excuse me.

# If you're afraid that I won't make the grade

# Well, then I'll sail this ship alone

# And if you agree to him instead of me

# Well, then I'll sail this ship alone

# Well they said if I wrote the perfect letter

# That I would have a chance

# Well, I wrote it and you burned it

# And now do I have a chance anyway now? #

Oh.

Hey. Fancy a dance?

No, I...I don't dance.

Why? You got two left feet?

No, I don't want to show everybody else up.

Oh, come on. Worst that could happen, you can wake up tomorrow,

and pretend it was all a weird dream.

-There you are! There must and shall be dancing.

-Ooh!

Can I ask a favour? I think my mum's been through enough...

Ah, it's all right. Your secret's safe with us.

Thanks.

They look good, don't they?

Yeah. It's not really my specialist subject.

We don't usually deal in happy-ever-afters.

Still, I think she'll be happy.

Some people aren't meant to be alone.

Come on!

Arriba!

Frank's got the moves!

THEY LAUGH

You should do Strictly.

Ooh!

# She's got it

# Oh, baby, she's got it. #

Morning!

Morning.

SIGHING

Morning!