The Fairest Show Means Most Deceit Shakespeare & Hathaway - Private Investigators


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The Fairest Show Means Most Deceit

Comedy drama about two private detectives. A workplace compensation claim is not as straightforward as it first seems.


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See what dirt you can find on her.

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Joy.

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You have a visitor.

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A Mr Martin Mariner?

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Just your type.

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-Are you Frank Hathaway?

-Are you American?

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Yes, sir, from Nashville, Tennessee.

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So, are you Frank Hathaway?

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Er...yes.

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Oh! Oh, Frank, it's so great to finally meet you!

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Or should I call you Francis? Oh, let me take a look at you.

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-You have two seconds to let me go.

-Oh, no way.

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I've been dreaming about this moment for years.

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One...

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two! MARTIN GROANS

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-Frank...

-Easy, tiger!

-I did warn him.

-Too much.

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Frank, please. That hurts!

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-A lot.

-Who the hell are you?

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I'm your uncle.

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What?!

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We're family, Frank.

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Ain't it wonderful?

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-What, you're my dad's brother?

-That's right.

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My mother is your grandmother.

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But don't you think my dad might have mentioned you?

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He might not even know I exist.

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I was adopted at birth, and I was raised

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by a wonderful British couple who moved out to Tennessee.

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But now they've both passed, well, I'm tracing my blood relations.

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And you, Frank, you are my first discovery.

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-Cobblers.

-Well, I'll show you.

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Now...

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birth certificate, and that's my mother.

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-Elizabeth Hathaway.

-Is that your grandmother?

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Well, it's a common name.

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Maiden name, Foster.

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I haven't got a clue about maiden names.

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She died years before I was born.

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How come the father's not listed?

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Well, young man, it's very possible that I am a love child.

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Oh, great!

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So now you're calling my nana a tramp as well as a liar?

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Here's our family tree, Frank.

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I only managed to go back to the 17th century.

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-Incredible.

-So, 1953.

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-Is that when your nan died?

-Well, around that time, yes.

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I can't find Elizabeth's death certificate to confirm

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the actual day, but since I know that my mother

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died in childbirth, it's got to be my birthday -

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4th of July, Independence Day.

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-That's great detective work, Martin, yeah.

-Thank you, ma'am!

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Ah!

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-She died in childbirth, did you say?

-That's right.

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Because my nana died in a car crash.

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Are you absently certain about that, Frank?

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Because my adoptive parents were told that my mother died

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giving birth to me.

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It's the only thing that about my nana that I am sure of.

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-Ow! Frank!

-Wrong Elizabeth Hathaway. Oh, what a shame.

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-There we are. Let me help you with these. There we go.

-Frank!

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-Come on.

-We're related, Frank. I can feel it!

-Er...apparently not.

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-At least let me buy you a coffee!

-Come on.

-Whoa!

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AMERICAN ACCENT: Thanks for stopping by!

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What?

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He was obviously a conman.

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What's he after, then? Your fortune?

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HE SIGHS

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So, when did this Lola start work here?

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-Three months ago.

-I gave her the job.

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I honestly thought I could trust her, that's what hurts the most.

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-When was this accident?

-A month ago.

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I found Lola out the back, screaming.

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She claimed a box of Shakespeare busts had fallen off a trolley

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-and landed on her foot.

-FRANK CHUCKLES

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Next thing we know, she's on crutches

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and suing us for compensation.

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-No witnesses, I take it?

-Of course not.

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Twisted ankle ligaments.

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The only thing that's twisted is that girl's morality.

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So you want us to prove she was faking the injury?

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-Photos, videos, you do whatever it takes.

-Surveillance isn't cheap.

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-Neither are compensation pay-outs.

-Fair enough.

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The awful thing is, the hearing's been brought forward.

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-It's now next week.

-Well, we will get on this, right away.

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Don't worry.

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I...I think you put a few too many noughts on there by mistake. HE CHUCKLES

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-Frank.

-Yeah. Just...

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Mmm. He seemed credible.

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My nan died in a car crash.

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What if they lied to you? That happens a lot in families.

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I'm not related to that nutter.

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Oh, here we go.

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So far, so convincing.

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Now?

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-This seat taken?

-Go ahead.

-Oh, thanks.

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Do you mind if I...

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A right pain, those things, aren't they?

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-Yeah, I'm sick of them.

-Yeah, I know, I broke my toe last year.

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Fell down the stairs. I was off my head! Was totally my fault.

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-Twisted ligaments.

-Oh. Right. How?

-Oh, this box fell on my foot.

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-Oh, ouch! Was that...was that at home...?

-Work.

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Oh, well, I hope you get plenty of sympathy for it.

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-Not exactly.

-No? What do you mean?

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Well, my bosses thought I was lying, which was nice.

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Didn't even get an apology.

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Oh, honestly, the things employers get away with now, eh?

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Hello, darling!

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Small world. Oh...

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I love the new look.

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-Erm, I'm Gloria, Lu's friend.

-Lola.

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-We've only just met.

-Really?

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-OK if I join you?

-No. I'm not staying.

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What am I doing? I've got...

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Carlos coming...oh, in ten minutes!

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My masseur.

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Beautiful man, and...surprisingly punctual for a Brazilian.

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Nice to meet you. See you soon, Lu.

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-Bye.

-Bye.

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-I should go, too.

-Oh, right, OK.

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Yeah, as soon as we catch her out,

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-Mr Tarsich, I will call you right away, OK?

-PHONE PINGS

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I will. OK, yeah, bye. Bye.

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That is the third time he's called already today.

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It's from Sebastian.

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According to our contact at the credit check company,

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Lola Gower owes over 20,000 in payday loans.

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Then she needs this compensation.

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If she's faking it, she's doing a decent job.

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Oh, hello.

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He looks pleased with himself.

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-I don't believe it!

-What?

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That Yank.

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Stalking me.

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Weirdo.

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All you need to do is find out the date your nan died,

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then if it's not July 4th, 1953, you're in the clear, aren't you?

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How am I going to do that with Mum and Dad gone?

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-Sounds like its a job for Frank Hathaway!

-SHE LAUGHS

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Frank Hathaway already has a job.

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Watching somebody watch telly.

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HE SIGHS It's going to be a long night.

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PHONE RINGS

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-Oh! It's him, again!

-Again?

-Again.

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Hello, Mr Tarsich.

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-ON PHONE:

-Anything?

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Er, no, she's still in her flat, I'm afraid.

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She hasn't left since lunchtime.

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This is pointless.

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Yeah, well, as I said before, Mr Tarsich, patience is the key.

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You don't understand.

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We're not insured.

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Well, not with the right policy, anyway.

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Oh.

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I haven't told Diana, but if this girl wins, it could cripple us.

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-I see.

-It was my fault.

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I was halfway through filling in the form,

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-and I had to go away for work.

-Right.

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Oh!

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Double bacon, double egg. Double ketchup for the vitamins.

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Thank you.

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-No sign of life?

-Mmm.

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I think we need to step up our coverage.

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Let's see if the clients will stump up for a hidden camera.

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-Mmm. For me?

-Yeah.

-Mmm!

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Is...? Oh.

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Cheers, AJ.

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SIREN WAILS

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Oh, look, it's the marshmallow twins!

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-Hi, Frank.

-Hello.

-Frank.

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-Ah, Christina.

-Frank.

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Didn't take you as the gift shop type.

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Yeah, I...ran out of waterlily soap.

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Fraud claim involving an ex-member of staff.

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I came to see my client.

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Going to have to talk to the husband now.

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You can scratch her off the list, the girl we've been trailing.

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-Thanks. And given it's a robbery gone wrong...

-Is it?

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Back door forced, signs of a struggle,

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blow to the head with Arden's finest,

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till open, and money gone.

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What does that look like to you?

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-You see those pieces of glass?

-Mmm-hmm.

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How did they get there?

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Embedded themselves during the struggle.

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Yeah, but they're not embedded, are they?

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They've just been placed there.

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When the glass fell on the victim, she was lying still,

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almost certainly dead.

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Now, why would the killer add smashed glass after the murder?

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Answer?

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To make it look like a robbery.

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-You might want to talk to someone called P.

-P?

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Yeah, that's the person she texted at 3:07 yesterday afternoon.

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You tampered with the victim's phone?

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I took a brief look, and I'm wearing a glove.

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"We need to talk. Come and find me after closing.

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"The cat's away. Kiss, kiss."

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The cat being the husband, Leon. He's not back yet.

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I'll call him if you like, save you the trouble.

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Thanks.

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I've got it from here, Frank.

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-Well, just keep an open mind.

-Don't patronise me!

-I wasn't!

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Good!

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You can get on with your fraud claim, then.

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OK, over here, guys.

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It's like Luke Skywalker telling Yoda to sod off.

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Yoda? Really?

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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So it looks like the profits from the business all went to Diana,

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and Leon just got a monthly wage, not much of one, either.

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So she's skinning him for his cash, and cuckolding him

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with this P character.

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Leon Tarsich must be in the frame, right?

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Come through, Mr Tarsich.

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We're very sorry for your loss.

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I, erm...

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I don't think I'll need...

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The Lola thing doesn't seem like such a...

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We understand entirely.

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-Don't we, Frank?

-Of course. Yeah.

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Thank you.

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The... The local police are really stretched at the moment,

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so they've asked us to help track down Diana's killer.

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Erm...

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I'm really sorry to have to ask this, but, er...

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where were you yesterday?

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I was in Manchester,

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at a gift shop conference.

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I came back this morning, as soon as I heard the...

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And everything was all right at home, was it?

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-Yeah, it was good.

-Yeah?

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-Diana was happy?

-Perfectly.

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-No suggestion of another man?

-No!

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-Is there anything else?

-No. Thank you.

-Thank you.

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We'll do everything we can to help.

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Sebastian, find out if there was a gift shop conference

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in Manchester yesterday.

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Fine. By the way, did you notice his nails?

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They were perfect.

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-Frank.

-Ugh...

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Now, you're a businessman, first and foremost. I respect that.

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Goodbye.

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You find out the date your grandma died, I'll double it.

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Frank?

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Giving Marlowe a free Jedi lesson isn't going to pay the bills.

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FRANK SIGHS

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-Anything?

-Mm-mm.

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What? There's nothing anywhere about my nanna's death online?

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-Nope.

-Was she buried?

-Yes.

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Well, then, the date will be on the gravestone.

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I'll have to find the cemetery first.

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Yeah, but you're Mr Family History, aren't you?

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All I know is it's in a village somewhere in the Cotswolds.

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The Cotswolds?

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Yeah, my grandad travelled south with work.

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I mean, I went there once, but I was about 11.

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We'll have to resort to using a Ouija board at this rate.

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I need another drink.

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What's that?

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Looks like blood.

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Hey, if we could get Forrest Gump Senior done for something,

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we could be off the hook.

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I'm going to send one of these to my mate Freddie at forensics.

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Ooh!

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What is it?

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E-mail from The Golden Horizons Gift Shop Conference in Manchester.

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Apparently, Leon Tarsich registered yesterday morning, and guess what?

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Afternoon and evening? Never showed up.

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Well, I was there.

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Did...you talk to anyone?

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Well, not really. Look, I've already been through all this

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-with the police.

-No, we appreciate that Mr, erm...

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-Tarshah...

-Sich.

-..sich.

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Erm...I notice from your bank statements that you've been

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making regular payments to "Bar MM" on the second Friday of every month.

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The police let you see my bank statements?

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You wouldn't believe how much they trust us.

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Well, that's the Mucky Mallard.

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I go there with a couple of mates.

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Hey, I go there every Friday.

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Yeah, I thought I recognised you.

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Can I use your bathroom?

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Er, yeah, it's just on the right past the bedroom.

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So, then, Diana's money? Must be quite a whack of it.

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-Does that all come to you, does it?

-I haven't even thought about it.

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Of course. Sorry, I didn't mean to, erm...

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He's never been in the Mucky Mallard on a Friday night,

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-I can tell you that much.

-And they had separate bedrooms.

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So, problems in the sack, wife playing away,

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a clear financial motive, and an alibi that stinks.

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Yeah, I'm with them now, Mr Tarsich. I'll call you back.

0:18:000:18:03

-Misrepresentation is a criminal offence, Frank.

-So's murder.

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-Stop harassing him.

-Only if you promise to start.

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I don't know why you're wasting your time.

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-He couldn't have killed his wife, anyway.

-Why not?

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Because he was on the phone to you!

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Based on smashed clocks at the scene,

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an aborted 999 call on the victim's phone, and the pathology report,

0:18:200:18:24

we're sure that the attack took place at exactly 7:11.

0:18:240:18:28

Well?

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Yeah, Leon was in the middle of one of his five minute rants with me.

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Making a business call while committing a violent murder.

0:18:360:18:39

That's some serious multi-tasking.

0:18:390:18:41

I got a phone call from forensics.

0:18:430:18:45

You know the blood you found on those banknotes?

0:18:450:18:47

-Yeah?

-It belongs to Diana.

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-What?

-So, the question is, where did you get the cash from?

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Mr Mariner.

0:19:010:19:03

-Frank!

-Are you two really related?

-Yes.

-No.

0:19:050:19:09

-You've got five minutes.

-Thank you.

0:19:090:19:11

Frank, you gotta help me.

0:19:150:19:17

They're saying I murdered some woman.

0:19:170:19:20

-I take it you didn't kill her.

-No!

0:19:200:19:22

Where did you get the money?

0:19:220:19:24

From a guy. I met him outside a pawnbroker's.

0:19:250:19:28

What pawnbroker's?

0:19:280:19:30

It was called Cash Changers, something like that.

0:19:310:19:35

-What? Quid Converters?

-That's it!

0:19:350:19:37

What were you doing there?

0:19:370:19:39

I was selling my parents' jewellery.

0:19:410:19:44

-Why?

-So I could hire you.

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This guy said that he would pay double

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whatever I was offered inside, and he did.

0:19:490:19:52

-And that's the money you gave us?

-Mmm.

0:19:520:19:55

Right, listen, Martin.

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I need you to describe this man to me.

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A lizard tattoo on the side of his neck.

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-It's a start.

-You seem pretty keen to get Martin off the charge.

0:20:060:20:10

Well, I just... I don't think he's guilty.

0:20:110:20:13

Is that it?

0:20:130:20:15

Yes, that's it.

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It's got nothing to do with the fact he's my long-lost uncle.

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Methinks he doth protest too much.

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Mr Tarsich.

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He's brought your money.

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You can count it.

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Ah, don't worry.

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Er...my solicitor called.

0:20:300:20:32

Lola's dropping the compensation claim.

0:20:320:20:34

-On compassionate grounds.

-That must be a relief.

-Yeah.

0:20:340:20:37

Oh, and I'm sorry for dropping you in it earlier.

0:20:370:20:40

Ah, no hard feelings.

0:20:400:20:41

You want to help, and I appreciate that.

0:20:410:20:43

Are you getting anywhere?

0:20:430:20:45

You don't know of any of your customers or suppliers

0:20:450:20:48

who might have, like, a lizard tattoo on the neck, do you?

0:20:480:20:51

Lizard?

0:20:510:20:53

No, I don't.

0:20:530:20:54

Sorry.

0:20:540:20:56

Er...Phil has got a tattoo.

0:20:560:20:58

I'm not sure what it's of, though.

0:20:580:21:00

-Phil?

-Phil Layman.

0:21:000:21:03

-Lola's boyfriend.

-Thanks.

0:21:030:21:04

I'm on my tea break, mate.

0:21:190:21:21

Turning down work, Phil? You must be doing all right.

0:21:210:21:25

Hey, nice tattoo!

0:21:250:21:27

Unusual.

0:21:280:21:30

You what? Do I know you?

0:21:300:21:32

-No, but you know my uncle.

-Oh, yeah?

0:21:320:21:34

Yeah, you bought some jewellery off him outside Quid Converters.

0:21:340:21:37

Big American fella. Cheesy sod.

0:21:370:21:40

Nah, don't know nothing about it.

0:21:400:21:42

It's all right, Phil, don't worry about it.

0:21:420:21:45

I'm here to buy it back. Family heirloom, you see.

0:21:450:21:48

Yeah, my uncle. He's a few hot dogs short of a stand,

0:21:480:21:51

if you know what I mean.

0:21:510:21:53

Come on! How much do you want for it?

0:21:530:21:55

-Eh!

-As I said, I don't know nothing about it.

0:21:550:21:59

I hear Lola's dropped the claim. Do you work out?

0:21:590:22:03

You...! Who are you?

0:22:030:22:05

Who am I? That's a fundamental question. Who is anyone?

0:22:050:22:08

Who are you?!

0:22:080:22:10

Tell me who sent you, or I'll break your arm in two.

0:22:100:22:12

Ooh, you've got a temper on you!

0:22:120:22:15

Ow! Ah, ah...

0:22:150:22:17

Agh, you brute!

0:22:170:22:19

-I'm a....

-Come on!

-..copper.

0:22:190:22:21

-Course you are.

-Try me.

0:22:210:22:23

FRANK GRUNTS

0:22:240:22:25

Cheers, Phil.

0:22:290:22:31

Don't point at me.

0:22:320:22:34

Oh!

0:22:450:22:47

So, now you know how Martin felt.

0:22:480:22:50

Thanks for the sympathy. Agh!

0:22:500:22:53

Well?

0:22:530:22:54

SHE SIGHS Found this in the glove compartment.

0:22:540:22:57

Yeah. Classic burner.

0:22:570:22:59

We've found our P.

0:23:040:23:06

Yeah.

0:23:070:23:09

We located a couple of banknotes with blood on them in his flat,

0:23:090:23:12

and we also found him

0:23:120:23:14

on CCTV in the vicinity of the gift shop at the time of the murder.

0:23:140:23:18

-And he's got previous for robbery.

-How do you know that?

0:23:180:23:21

Because some people in here still rate me.

0:23:210:23:23

Never knew you were so sensitive.

0:23:230:23:25

So, Diana gets Phil over to tell him she's ending the affair.

0:23:270:23:30

He takes it badly, whacks her on the head with a big fossil.

0:23:300:23:33

And then he staged a robbery.

0:23:330:23:35

Go on, then, say it.

0:23:360:23:38

I'm not sure it was Phil who killed her.

0:23:400:23:42

-What?

-Well, according to the phone,

0:23:420:23:45

Diana wasn't his only bit on the side.

0:23:450:23:48

OK. So?

0:23:490:23:51

So, why would her ending it make him so angry?

0:23:510:23:54

Frank, I'm out!

0:23:540:23:57

FRANK GROANS

0:23:570:23:59

-WHISPERS:

-He's a big fan of yours.

0:23:590:24:02

He can't wait to get back to your search!

0:24:020:24:04

Well, every silver lining has a cloud.

0:24:040:24:07

SHE CHUCKLES

0:24:070:24:08

Ah-ah! Come on, walk.

0:24:080:24:11

FRANK SIGHS

0:24:110:24:12

It was when Lu gave me that look.

0:24:150:24:17

HE CHUCKLES

0:24:170:24:18

That was the moment I realised I'd walked into a secret

0:24:180:24:21

undercover operation, and I nearly had a heart attack.

0:24:210:24:24

Well, Lu says you covered it like Dame Judi herself.

0:24:240:24:27

I wasn't that good.

0:24:280:24:29

One of my regulars, that is.

0:24:310:24:33

What, the murderer?

0:24:330:24:34

No. The husband.

0:24:340:24:36

I didn't know his real name. Poor bloke.

0:24:360:24:40

Well, what name did he use with you?

0:24:400:24:42

-Linda.

-Linda?

0:24:430:24:45

How many more parishes to check?

0:24:500:24:52

Er...

0:24:520:24:53

103.

0:24:530:24:55

PHONE RINGS

0:24:550:24:56

Oh.

0:24:560:24:57

I've got to take this.

0:24:580:25:00

I'll meet you outside.

0:25:000:25:02

-Yes?

-Having fun?

-No.

0:25:030:25:07

Family, eh? Well, I've worked out where Leon Tarsich

0:25:070:25:10

really spent those Friday nights.

0:25:100:25:12

Well, go on.

0:25:120:25:13

The Moody Mule.

0:25:130:25:15

You're joking.

0:25:150:25:16

Which rather begs the question, did the wife know?

0:25:160:25:19

Hang on. It's Friday today.

0:25:210:25:23

Exactly. Second of the month.

0:25:230:25:25

Hi.

0:25:590:26:01

I'm Adele.

0:26:040:26:05

Linda.

0:26:070:26:08

-Can I get another one, Gina, please?

-OK.

0:26:100:26:14

You celebrating?

0:26:140:26:16

Or drowning your sorrows?

0:26:160:26:18

Bit of a week.

0:26:210:26:23

-Death in the family.

-No!

0:26:240:26:27

Oh, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

0:26:280:26:30

I lost my...

0:26:320:26:33

dog recently.

0:26:330:26:34

Were you very close?

0:26:400:26:41

Yeah.

0:26:430:26:44

And no.

0:26:490:26:50

It was my wife.

0:26:580:27:01

Oh, my gosh!

0:27:010:27:02

Had she been ill?

0:27:070:27:08

Yeah.

0:27:110:27:12

Even so...

0:27:140:27:15

..poor you.

0:27:170:27:18

Part of me feels relieved.

0:27:200:27:22

-Well, if she'd been ill for a long time...

-It's... It's not that.

0:27:220:27:25

-She couldn't accept this.

-No?

0:27:290:27:32

Found out a few months back.

0:27:340:27:36

Two weeks later,

0:27:370:27:38

-she started sleeping with an employee's boyfriend.

-Unbelievable!

0:27:380:27:41

That's not the worst of it, though.

0:27:440:27:45

Oh! From cigarettes?

0:27:490:27:52

She burned you?

0:27:560:27:57

So, Diana was physically abusing Leon

0:28:020:28:05

because he wasn't the man she thought she married.

0:28:050:28:07

And he knew about her affair.

0:28:070:28:09

I'd have been out of there like a shot.

0:28:090:28:12

He had no money, though.

0:28:120:28:14

Yeah, he's got plenty now, hasn't he?

0:28:140:28:16

So, that's a double motive for murder -

0:28:160:28:18

revenge and cash - plus a lack of alibi.

0:28:180:28:21

Except we know he didn't do it, because when Diana was killed,

0:28:210:28:23

he was on the phone to me.

0:28:230:28:26

We've missed something.

0:28:260:28:27

-What?

-I don't know, but we've got to find it.

0:28:270:28:31

I'll speak to you later.

0:28:310:28:32

So, was he impressed with my handiwork?

0:28:340:28:37

Yes. Very. He's... Yeah.

0:28:370:28:39

He didn't say anything, did he?

0:28:390:28:42

It's all right.

0:28:420:28:43

I only do this job for the lavish salary.

0:28:430:28:46

PHONE RINGS Oh!

0:28:460:28:48

Lola's curtains.

0:28:490:28:51

Er...sorry, what?

0:28:510:28:52

Who has a night in by the telly with the curtains wide open?

0:28:520:28:55

-Maybe she's claustrophobic.

-Maybe she wanted to be seen.

0:28:570:29:01

By who?

0:29:010:29:02

I haven't got that far. I'll see you later.

0:29:030:29:06

-Perhaps she's an exhibitionist.

-Well, it wasn't much of a show.

0:29:060:29:09

All she did was get up a couple of times to get the remote.

0:29:090:29:12

What if we were the audience?

0:29:230:29:25

FRANK SIGHS

0:29:250:29:26

It's all right. I trust you.

0:29:300:29:32

Oh, thanks, Frank.

0:29:320:29:33

What do they call this place?

0:29:360:29:38

Oh, er...

0:29:380:29:39

..Risley Cross.

0:29:420:29:44

I've been here before.

0:29:450:29:47

-Gloria!

-Oh!

-Oh, sorry.

0:29:500:29:52

Leon Tarsich - he hired women's clothes from you, is that right?

0:29:520:29:54

Mmm. All the time. Dresses, hats, shoes.

0:29:540:29:58

-Wigs?

-Course. He borrowed one last week.

0:29:580:30:01

Which one?

0:30:010:30:02

Oh...

0:30:020:30:04

Did he ask specifically for long, blonde hair?

0:30:110:30:14

Oh, he insisted.

0:30:140:30:16

But, to be honest, I was quite surprised

0:30:160:30:18

when he choose this old thing. Ugh.

0:30:180:30:21

KNOCKS AT DOOR

0:30:250:30:27

Miss Whetton?

0:30:340:30:36

Yes.

0:30:360:30:37

Erm...we were told that you were the churchwarden.

0:30:370:30:40

Yes, that's right. Morning, Vicar.

0:30:400:30:42

Morning, Miss Whetton.

0:30:420:30:43

Er...I wonder if you could help.

0:30:430:30:46

We're trying to find out if a relation of mine

0:30:460:30:48

is buried here in the village.

0:30:480:30:50

-Ah.

-Might we have a look at the parish burial records?

0:30:500:30:53

Ah, well, the register, actually, is held at Hardleton.

0:30:530:30:56

-It's the next village.

-Ah.

0:30:560:30:59

But there's only one graveyard here in this village.

0:30:590:31:02

It's behind the church there.

0:31:020:31:05

Great. Well, we'll take a look. Thank you.

0:31:050:31:07

Right. Well, I might remember them.

0:31:070:31:10

I've lived all my life in this village,

0:31:110:31:14

and my father was vicar of that church.

0:31:140:31:17

Great. Well, we're looking for my grandmother.

0:31:180:31:21

She was called Elizabeth Hathaway. Died in 1953.

0:31:210:31:24

Yeah, we think she might be my mother.

0:31:240:31:26

Ah.

0:31:280:31:29

Er...the name's...

0:31:300:31:32

It's not ringing any bells.

0:31:320:31:34

Sorry. Good luck, though.

0:31:340:31:37

She knew her.

0:31:450:31:46

-Feel familiar, Frank?

-I'd be lying if I said yes.

0:31:540:31:58

I've found her.

0:32:040:32:06

Really?

0:32:060:32:08

Ooh.

0:32:080:32:09

Does it say when she died?

0:32:090:32:11

It does, yeah.

0:32:110:32:12

February 11th...1952.

0:32:150:32:20

The year before you were born.

0:32:200:32:22

MARTIN SIGHS

0:32:220:32:23

It's not her.

0:32:240:32:26

Did you find what you're looking for?

0:32:320:32:35

We did, unfortunately.

0:32:360:32:38

Well, here...

0:32:410:32:43

Here's a little something for your journey.

0:32:430:32:46

Oh, gosh, thank you, ma'am!

0:32:460:32:48

You, erm...

0:32:570:32:58

You knew my grandmother, didn't you?

0:32:580:33:00

She was a friend of mine.

0:33:030:33:05

Why didn't you tell us?

0:33:060:33:08

It's better...

0:33:080:33:09

I've left something on the... On the stove.

0:33:120:33:15

What a kind lady.

0:33:210:33:23

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

0:33:230:33:24

All right, Bab? Here to read your gas meter.

0:33:290:33:31

Er, yeah. Sure, come in.

0:33:310:33:33

-The meter's in there.

-Oh, ta. Won't be a minute.

0:33:360:33:39

-What the hell are you doing?

-I'm so sorry!

0:34:010:34:04

I was just seeing who made your armchair.

0:34:040:34:06

I really like it, see.

0:34:060:34:08

-It's exactly what I've been looking for.

-Get out!

0:34:080:34:11

Definitely.

0:34:110:34:13

You're lucky I don't report you.

0:34:130:34:15

It really is a lovely chair.

0:34:200:34:23

-Ta-da!

-Ah!

0:34:470:34:48

They're definitely fake.

0:34:480:34:50

So he WAS in there! You're a genius, Lu!

0:34:520:34:55

-See, Phil Layman may be a thief, but he's not our murderer.

-Lola!

0:34:550:34:59

Oh, well, there's a miraculous recovery.

0:35:000:35:03

She knows we're on to her.

0:35:030:35:05

Right.

0:35:050:35:07

Let's see who she runs to.

0:35:070:35:09

There you go. A cup of builder's works wonders in these situations.

0:35:090:35:13

-Thanks, Frank.

-So, what now?

0:35:130:35:16

I'm going to get the first flight back to the States.

0:35:170:35:20

What, you're giving up?

0:35:200:35:21

Well, like you say, there's a lot of Elizabeth Hathaways,

0:35:210:35:24

and I'm out of cash.

0:35:240:35:26

So I can't exactly afford to hire you to help me, now, can I?

0:35:260:35:30

Well, never mind. You gave it your best shot.

0:35:320:35:34

I have got the strongest of feelings that I know that woman, Theresa.

0:35:380:35:43

Yeah, but to be fair, you swore blind I was your nephew.

0:35:430:35:46

-That's true.

-You're a nice fella, but your hunches are rubbish.

0:35:460:35:49

It's a fair cop, governor.

0:35:490:35:51

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh!

0:35:510:35:52

Did Sebastian get in the flat?

0:35:570:35:58

He did, and found hairs from Leon's wig under Lola's armchair.

0:35:580:36:02

You're kidding! Nice one. Does she suspect anything?

0:36:020:36:05

She's on her bike. Literally. Just pulled into Ridgemead car park.

0:36:050:36:08

I'm on my way.

0:36:080:36:10

Any chance of a lift?

0:36:100:36:11

Sure.

0:36:110:36:13

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

0:36:130:36:14

For services rendered.

0:36:210:36:23

Well, that's her debts paid.

0:36:270:36:29

CAR ENGINE STARTS

0:36:290:36:31

Glad to see you back on your feet, Lola.

0:36:360:36:38

Can you move your car, please?

0:36:380:36:40

I don't think DI Marlowe would thank her.

0:36:400:36:42

And she is on her way.

0:36:420:36:44

What's all is this about?

0:36:450:36:46

This is about you two murdering Diana.

0:36:460:36:49

And framing Phil.

0:36:490:36:51

-What?

-I know you both hated Diana, maybe with good reason.

0:36:510:36:55

You definitely needed the cash.

0:36:550:36:56

So the two of you came up with the perfect murder.

0:36:560:36:59

Well, nearly.

0:36:590:37:01

Have you seen my phone? I had it here, I'm sure of it.

0:37:020:37:07

It'll turn up, darling. Always does.

0:37:070:37:09

First, you cooked up Lola's fake compensation claim.

0:37:090:37:12

Made the two of you look like enemies.

0:37:120:37:15

Next, you convinced Diana to hire us.

0:37:150:37:18

You'd worked out that private investigators

0:37:180:37:20

would give you the perfect alibi.

0:37:200:37:22

Then, on the day of the murder, you got hold of Diana's phone.

0:37:220:37:25

MESSAGE ALERT

0:37:290:37:31

You set the trap.

0:37:330:37:35

TV PLAYS

0:37:390:37:41

LU ON PHONE: Yeah, well, as I said before, Mr Tarsich,

0:38:490:38:52

patience is the key.

0:38:520:38:53

You don't understand.

0:38:530:38:55

We're not insured. Well, not with the right policy, anyway.

0:38:550:38:59

A few minutes later, you returned to your flat,

0:39:000:39:03

and swapped places again.

0:39:030:39:05

Meanwhile, Phil arrived at Arden Dreams,

0:39:080:39:11

straight into the trap that you'd set him.

0:39:110:39:14

Instead of reporting the crime, he took the money.

0:39:220:39:25

Just as you'd hoped.

0:39:250:39:26

Which meant that when you led us to Phil,

0:39:460:39:48

all the evidence was laid out to make it look like he was the killer.

0:39:480:39:51

Your partners certainly chose the wrong people to cheat on.

0:39:560:39:59

SIRENS APPROACH

0:39:590:40:02

-I should leave you on your own more often.

-If you insist.

0:40:130:40:16

-Go on, then Frank. Rub it in.

-Yoda, you are!

0:40:160:40:20

SHE LAUGHS

0:40:200:40:21

Ah, you're a great copper, Christina.

0:40:210:40:23

I'm hardly in the position to gloat, am I?

0:40:230:40:25

-I didn't spot it.

-Thanks, Frank. See you later.

0:40:250:40:29

Ah. Hanging out with Martin's made you go all soft.

0:40:290:40:31

Ah, don't be daft!

0:40:310:40:33

I don't condone murder, obviously, but...

0:40:330:40:36

I do feel a teeny bit sorry for Leon.

0:40:360:40:39

I mean, just hiding his cross-dressing from his wife

0:40:390:40:41

for all that time - it must have been agony.

0:40:410:40:43

Yeah. It's amazing what people will put up with just to keep a secret.

0:40:430:40:47

We're looking for my grandmother. She was called Elizabeth Hathaway.

0:40:510:40:54

-She died in 1953.

-Yeah, we think she may be my mother.

0:40:540:40:57

Here's a little something for your journey.

0:40:590:41:01

Oh, gosh, thank you, ma'am!

0:41:010:41:04

-The vicar's daughter!

-What?

0:41:070:41:09

We need to get to the airport!

0:41:090:41:10

-Got to stop Martin. Go on, get in.

-After you.

0:41:120:41:15

-No after you.

-After you.

-Just get in!

0:41:150:41:17

KNOCKS AT DOOR

0:41:180:41:20

SHE SIGHS

0:41:260:41:27

What is it?

0:41:300:41:32

I understand why you tried to hide it.

0:41:330:41:36

Your father had a reputation to protect.

0:41:370:41:40

SHE SIGHS

0:41:400:41:41

I...

0:41:430:41:45

I don't know what...

0:41:450:41:48

What you're talking about.

0:41:480:41:50

Oh, Theresa.

0:41:500:41:52

It's been 65 years.

0:41:520:41:54

Don't you think it's time you admitted the truth?

0:41:560:41:58

Mama?

0:42:050:42:07

Yes!

0:42:070:42:09

SHE CHUCKLES

0:42:090:42:10

HE SOBS

0:42:110:42:12

It was the 1950s.

0:42:250:42:26

If people found out Theresa got pregnant out of wedlock,

0:42:260:42:28

there'd have been a massive scandal.

0:42:280:42:30

Especially with her dad being the local rev.

0:42:300:42:33

She was sent away to have Martin.

0:42:330:42:35

Her dad bribed a registrar to put another woman's name

0:42:350:42:37

on the birth certificate.

0:42:370:42:39

Theresa suggested her recently departed best friend, my nana.

0:42:390:42:43

Do you know what's great about all this is that you can find out

0:42:430:42:45

-from Theresa everything you didn't know about your gran.

-Huh.

0:42:450:42:48

I've already found out everything I need to know.

0:42:480:42:50

Apparently, my nana was a superb dancer.

0:42:500:42:55

Which, of course, is where I get my innate sense of...

0:42:550:42:57

..rhythm.

0:42:590:43:01

Cheers!

0:43:010:43:02

THEY CHUCKLE

0:43:020:43:04

A workplace compensation claim is not as straightforward as it first seems, and Frank is sceptical when a long-lost relative tracks him down.