Browse content similar to The Sign of Three. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
They just walked out of there! | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
Yeah, I know, I was, sort of, sitting next to you. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
The whole Waters family. They just walked right out of there! | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-Again, I was in the room. -How do they always manage that?! | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
They're good. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
They're greedy and they'll do it again | 0:00:19 | 0:00:20 | |
and next time, we're going to catch them in the act. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
How? | 0:00:23 | 0:00:24 | |
No good? | 0:00:33 | 0:00:34 | |
They always know we're coming. How do they always know?! | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
They're good, they work at it. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
-They're never going to stop. -Well, neither are we. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
Argh! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:54 | |
Argh! | 0:01:03 | 0:01:04 | |
Argh! AARGH! | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
-Oh! -Greg... | 0:01:09 | 0:01:10 | |
In the act! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
It's the only way we're going to do this - in the act! | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
COMPUTER BEEPS | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
They're still blocking it? | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Yeah. Very efficiently hacked. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
They must be bloody pleased with themselves. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
They must be. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
Right, then? | 0:02:00 | 0:02:01 | |
Ah, no! No, you've got to make the arrest. This one's yours, boss. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:05 | |
You've never called me boss before. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
Oh, well, look what happens when you're good. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
You know how most days aren't good days? | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
-This is a good day. -Not for the Waters family. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
TEXT ALERT | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
OK, ten men on the roof, all exits covered. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
The bank's closed, so we've no hostages to worry about. TEXT ALERT | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
Sorry, no, go on. Go on. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Um, we've got the tunnel entrance covered... TEXT ALERT | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
..and Davies, Willow and Christie | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
are heading up armed response on Mafeking Road. TEXT ALERT | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
-Sorry, I'd better get this. -It's him, isn't it? | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
-I-I-I have to go. -What?! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
-You make the arrest. -No way! | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
Sorry, you'll be fine. I'm cool with this. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
Jones will get all the credit if you leave now, you know he will. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
Yeah, well, yeah, it doesn't matter, I have to go. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:52 | |
Back up! I need maximum back up! | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
Baker Street now! | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
What's going on?! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
-This is hard. -What? | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
Really hard. Hardest thing I've ever had to do. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Do you know any funny stories about John? | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
What?! | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
I need anecdotes. Didn't go to any trouble, did you? | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
SIRENS WAIL, HELICOPTER HOVERS | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
VIOLIN MUSIC | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
-Shut up, Mrs Hudson. -I haven't said a word. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
You're formulating a question. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
It's physically painful watching you think. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
I thought it was you playing. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
-It was me playing. -MUSIC STOPS | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
I am composing. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
You were dancing. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
I was road-testing. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
You what? | 0:05:15 | 0:05:16 | |
Why are you here? | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
I'm bringing you your morning tea. You're not usually awake. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:22 | |
You bring me tea in the morning? | 0:05:22 | 0:05:23 | |
Well, where do you think it came from? | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
I don't know. I just thought it, sort of, happened. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Your mother has a lot to answer for. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Hmm, I know. I have a list. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Mycroft has a file. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
So, it's the big day, then. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
What big day? | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
The wedding! John and Mary getting married. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
Two people who currently live together are about to attend church, | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
have a party, go on a short holiday, then carry on living together. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
-What's big about that? -It changes people, marriage. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
Hmm, no, it doesn't. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Well, you wouldn't understand, cos you always live alone. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
Your husband was executed for double murder. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
You're hardly an advert for companionship. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
Marriage changes you as a person in ways that you can't imagine. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
As does lethal injection. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
My best friend, Margaret, she was my chief bridesmaid. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
We were going to be best friends for ever, we always said that, | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
but I hardly saw her after that. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
-Aren't there usually biscuits? -I've run out. -Have the shops? | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
She cried the whole day, saying, "Ooh, it's the end of an era." | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
I'm sure the shop on the corner is open. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
She was probably right, really. I remember she left early. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
I mean, who leaves a wedding early? So sad. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
Hmm. Anyway, you've got things to do. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
-No, not really. I've got plenty of time to get ready... -Biscuits! | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Oh! I really am going to have a word with your mother. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
You can if you like, she understands very little. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
Right, then. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
Into battle. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
CHURCH BELLS TOLL | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
Congratulations! | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
OK, hold it there, I want to get this shot of the newlyweds. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
Er, just the bride and groom, please. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
-Sherlock... -Oh, sorry. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
OK, three, two, one, cheese. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:28 | |
The famous Mr Holmes. I'm very pleased to meet you. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:42 | |
-But no sex, OK? -Sorry?! | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
You don't have to look so scared. I'm only messing. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
Bridesmaid, best man - it's a bit traditional. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
-Is it? -But not obligatory. -If that's the sort of thing | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
you're looking for, that man is your best bet. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
Recently divorced doctor, with a ginger cat... | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
A barn conversion and a history of erectile dysfunction. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
Reviewing that information, possibly not your best bet. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
Yeah, maybe not. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:06 | |
Sorry, there was one more deduction there than I was expecting. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
Mr Holmes, you're going to be incredibly useful. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
Hello. Lovely to meet you. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
-How are you? -Beautiful, Mary. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
-Thank you. -Congratulations. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
David! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
Ah, ah, Mary. Congratulations, you look, um, very nice. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
-Thanks. -John, congratulations. You're a lucky man. -Thank you. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:36 | |
-Um, David, this is Sherlock. -Hmm. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Um, yeah, we've um... We've met. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
So, what exactly are my duties as an usher? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
Let's talk about Mary first. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
Sorry, what? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
Well, I think you know what. You went out with her for two years. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:58 | |
Er, ages ago. We're... We're just good friends now. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
Is that a fact? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
Whenever she tweets, you respond within five minutes, regardless of time or current location, | 0:10:02 | 0:10:06 | |
suggesting you have her on text alert. In your Facebook photographs of the happy couple, | 0:10:06 | 0:10:10 | |
Mary takes centre frame, whereas John is always partly or entirely excluded. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:13 | |
Well, you can't assume from that I've still got some kind of interest in Mary... | 0:10:13 | 0:10:17 | |
You volunteered to be a shoulder to cry on on no less than three separate occasions. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:21 | |
Do you have anything to say in your defence? | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
I think from now on, we'll downgrade you to casual acquaintance. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
No more than three planned social encounters a year | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
and always in John's presence. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:31 | |
I have your contact details. I will be monitoring. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
They're right about you. You're a bloody psychopath. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
High-functioning sociopath, with your number. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
Um... | 0:10:53 | 0:10:54 | |
-Hello. -Darling. -Thank you. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
-You look fabulous. -Thank you. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
Thanks for coming, thank you. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
Er, yes, well done in the service, Archie. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
-He's really come out of his shell. I don't know how you did it. -Um... | 0:11:07 | 0:11:11 | |
Basically, it's a cute smile to the bride's side, | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
-cute smile to the groom's side and then the rings. -No. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
-And you have to wear the outfit. -No. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:22 | |
-You really do have to wear the outfit. -What for? | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
-Grown-ups like that sort of thing. -Why? | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
I don't know, I'll ask one. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
You're a detective. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
-Yep. -Have you solved any murders? | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
-Sure, loads. -Can I see? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
Yeah, all right. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
COMPUTER BEEPS | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
What's all the stuff in his eye? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
-Maggots. -Cool! | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
Hmm. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
He said you had some pictures for him, as a treat? | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
Er, yes, if he's good. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
-Beheadings. -Lovely little village. | 0:11:57 | 0:12:00 | |
Hmm? What did you say? | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
Hold it. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:08 | |
Nice. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:11 | |
-I'm starving. -Thanks. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
I had to lose so much weight to get into this dress. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
JOHN LAUGHS | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
Hmm, he's nice. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
Traces of two leading brands of deodorant, both advertised for their strength, | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
suggestive of a chronic body odour problem, manifesting under stress. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
OK, done there. What about his friend? | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
-Long-term relationship, compulsive cheat. -Seriously? | 0:12:36 | 0:12:40 | |
Waterproof cover on his smartphone. | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Yet his complexion doesn't indicate outdoor work. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
It suggests he's in the habit of taking his phone into the shower with him, | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
-which means he often receives texts and e-mails he'd rather went unseen. -Can I keep you? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:52 | |
-Do you like solving crimes? -Do you have a vacancy? | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
-So, Harry? -Er, no. No show. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
Darling, I'm so sorry. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
Yeah, it was a bit of a punt asking her, I suppose. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
Still, free bar, wouldn't have been a good mix. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
Oh. God, wow! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
-Is that...? -He came. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
-So that's him, Major Sholto. -Uh-huh. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
If they're such good friends, why does he barely even mention him? | 0:13:22 | 0:13:26 | |
He mentions him all the time to me, never shuts up about him. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:30 | |
-About HIM? -Mm-hmm. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
Urgh! I chose this wine, it's bloody awful! | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
-Yes, but it's definitely him that he talks about? -Mm-hmm. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
I'm very, very, glad to see you, sir. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
I know you don't really do this sort of thing. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
Well, I do for old friends, Watson. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
John. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
-It's good to see you. -You, too. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Civilian life suiting you, then? | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
-Er, er, yes. Well, I think so, sir. -No more need for the trick cyclist? | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
No, I go now and then. Sort of a top-up. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:02 | |
Therapy can be very helpful. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Where are you living these days? | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere. You wouldn't know it. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:15 | |
-You look well... -I've never even heard him say his name. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
-Well, he's almost a recluse, you know, since... -Yes. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
I didn't think he'd show up at all. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
John says he's the most unsociable man he's ever met. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:25 | |
-He is? He's the most unsociable? -Hmm. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him like a puppy. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
Oh, Sherlock! | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
-Neither of us were the first, you know. -Stop smiling. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:36 | |
It's my wedding day! | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Urgh! | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
BANGING | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:15:07 | 0:15:11 | |
Yes? What, Sherlock? | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
-Why are you out of breath? -Filing. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
Either I've caught you in a compromising position or you've been working out again. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
-I favour the latter. -What do you want? | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
I need your answer, Mycroft, as a matter of urgency. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
-Answer? -Even at the eleventh hour, it's not too late, you know. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
Oh, Lord! | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
Cars can be ordered, private jets commandeered. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:32 | |
Today. It's today, isn't it? | 0:15:32 | 0:15:35 | |
No, Sherlock, I will not be coming to the night-do, | 0:15:35 | 0:15:39 | |
as you so poetically put it. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:40 | |
What a shame. Mary and John will be extremely d... | 0:15:40 | 0:15:44 | |
Delighted not to have me hanging around. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
Oh, I don't know. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
There should always be a spectre at the feast. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
So, this is it, then? The big day. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
I suppose I'll be seeing a lot more of you from now on. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
-What do you mean? -Just like old times. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
-No, I don't understand. -'Well, it's the end of an era, isn't it?' | 0:16:01 | 0:16:04 | |
John and Mary, domestic bliss. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
No, no, no. I prefer to think of it as the beginning of a new chapter. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
-What? -Nothing. -I know that silence. What? | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
Well, I'd better let you get back to it. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
You have a big speech or something, don't you? | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
-What? -Cakes, karaoke, mingling. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
-Mycroft! -This is what people do, Sherlock. They get married. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
I warned you, don't get involved. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
-Involved? I'm not involved. -No... | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
-John asked me to be his best man, how could I say no? -Absolutely. -I'm not involved. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
I believe you. Really, I do. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
Have a lovely day and do give the happy couple my best. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
I will. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:44 | |
Oh, by the way, Sherlock, do you remember Redbeard? | 0:16:44 | 0:16:48 | |
I'm not a child any more, Mycroft. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:53 | |
No, of course you're not. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
Pray silence for the best man. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
family and friends, | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
and... | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
um, others. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
Er... | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
A-also... | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
-Greg... -Molly. -I've just had a thought. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
Is that a brain? | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
What if John asks Sherlock to be his best man? | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
-Well, he will, won't he? He's bound to. -Exactly. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
-So? -So, he'll have to make a speech, in front of people. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
There'll be actual people there, actually listening. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
Well, what's the worst that could happen? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
Helen-Louise probably wondered the same. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
Helen-Louise? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
Oh, hello dear. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:27 | |
I was just thinking, if John does ask Sherlock... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
What, the speech, dear? No, it'll be fine. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:33 | |
It's not just the speech, though, is it? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
MRS HUDSON LAUGHS | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
Oh, brilliant! | 0:18:44 | 0:18:45 | |
-Mrs Hudson? -Hello, darling. -Are you all right? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
I was coming to see Sherlock and I thought you were... | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
-No... -Possibly dying. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
Oh, sorry. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
What's wrong? | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
The telegrams! | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Sorry, what? | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
Oh, sorry. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
Telegrams! | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
Right, um... | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
First things first, telegrams. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:17 | |
Well, they're not actually telegrams, we just call them telegrams. I don't know why. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
Wedding tradition. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
"To Mr and Mrs Watson, | 0:19:25 | 0:19:26 | |
"so sorry I am unable to be with you on your special day. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
-"Good luck and best wishes, Mike Stanford." -Aah. -Aw. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
"To John and Mary, all good wishes for your special day, | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
"with love and many big... | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
"Big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted." | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
"Mary, lots of love... | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
Yeah? | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
"Poppet. Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
"Wish your family could have seen this." | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
"Special day..." "Very special day..." | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
"Love..." "Love..." "Love..." "Love..." "Love..." | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
QUIET LAUGHTER | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
John Watson. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
My friend, John Watson. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
John... | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
When John first broached the subject of being best man, I was confused. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
-Sherlock? -What was that noise downstairs? | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
Oh, it was Mrs Hudson laughing. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:26 | |
Hmm, it sounded like she was torturing an owl. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:29 | |
Yeah, well, it was laughter. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Could have been both. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
Busy? | 0:20:33 | 0:20:34 | |
Oh, just occupying myself. Sometimes it's so hard not smoking. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
Mind if I interrupt? | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
Be my guest. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:42 | |
-Tea? -Er... | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
So, er, the big question. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
Mm-hmm? | 0:20:50 | 0:20:51 | |
The best man. | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
The best man? | 0:20:55 | 0:20:56 | |
-What do you think? -Billy Kincaid. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
-Sorry, what? -Billy Kincaid, the Camden Garrotter, best man I ever knew. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Vast contributions to charity, never disclosed. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
Personally managed to save three hospitals from closure | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
and ran the best and safest children's homes in north England. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
Yes, every now and again, there'd be some garrotings, but stacking up the lives saved against the garrotings, | 0:21:09 | 0:21:14 | |
-on balance I'd say he... -For my wedding. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
For me, I need a best man. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
-Oh, right. -Maybe not a garrotter. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
-Gavin? -Who? | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
Gavin Lestrade? He's a man and good at it. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
It's Greg. And he's not my best friend. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
Oh, Mike Stanford, I see. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:30 | |
Well, he's nice. Um, though I'm not sure how well he'd cope with all... | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
No, Mike's great, but HE'S not my best friend. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest and most important day of my life... | 0:21:39 | 0:21:42 | |
-Well... -No, it is. It is. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
And I want to be up there with the two people | 0:21:45 | 0:21:47 | |
-that I love and care about most in the world. -Yes. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:51 | |
-So Mary Morstan... -Yes. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:56 | |
And... | 0:21:59 | 0:22:00 | |
..you. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
I confess, at first, I didn't realise he was asking me. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
When finally I understood, I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:15 | |
I explained to him that I'd never expected this request and I was a little daunted in the face of it. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:23 | |
Sherlock... | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
I nonetheless promised I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was, for me, | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
in some ways, very close to being moved by it. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:42 | |
No, it's getting a bit scary now. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
It later transpired that I'd said none of this out loud. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
So, in fact... | 0:22:58 | 0:22:59 | |
-You, you mean... -Yes. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
I'm your... | 0:23:06 | 0:23:09 | |
-best... -Man. -..friend? | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
Yeah, of course you are. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
Of course... You're my best friend. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:20 | |
How was that? | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
Surprisingly OK. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
So you'll have to make a speech, of course. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
Done that. Done that. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:48 | |
Done that bit, done that bit. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
Done that bit. Hmm. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:53 | |
I'm afraid, John, I can't congratulate you. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
All emotions and, in particular, love, | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:03 | |
A wedding is, in my considered opinion, | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational | 0:24:05 | 0:24:10 | |
and sentimental in this ailing and morally-compromised world. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
Today, we honour the deathwatch beetle that is the doom of our society | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
and, in time, one feels certain, our entire species. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
-But anyway, let's talk about John. -Please. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:30 | |
If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own | 0:24:33 | 0:24:37 | |
that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:51 | |
There is a certain analogy there, I feel. And contrast is, after all, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
Or it would be, if God were not a ludicrous fantasy, | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
MUTTERING | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
The point I'm trying to make is that I am | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
the most unpleasant, rude, | 0:25:08 | 0:25:12 | |
ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
I am dismissive of the virtuous, | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
unaware of the beautiful | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
So, if I didn't understand I was being asked to be best man, | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
it is because I never expected to be anybody's best friend. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:33 | |
And certainly not the best friend | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
I have ever had the good fortune of knowing. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
John, I am a ridiculous man... | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
..redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
But, as I am, apparently, your best friend, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
Actually, now I can. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
Mary, when I say you deserve this man, | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
it is the highest compliment of which I am capable. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
John, you have endured war and injury and tragic loss - | 0:26:08 | 0:26:15 | |
so sorry again about that last one - so know this, today you sit between | 0:26:15 | 0:26:20 | |
the woman you have made your wife and the man you have saved. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:24 | |
In short, the two people who love you most in all this world. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:28 | |
And I know I speak for Mary, as well, when I say, | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
we will never let you down and we have a lifetime ahead to prove that. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:35 | |
-(If I try and hug him, stop me.) -Certainly not. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
Ah, yes. Now, on to some funny stories about John. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:47 | |
What's wrong? What happened? Why are you all doing that? John? | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
Oh, Sherlock! | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
-Did I do it wrong? -No, you didn't. Come here. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
-I haven't finished yet. -Yeah, I know, I know. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
-So on to some funny stories now... -Can you wait till I sit down? | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
So, on to some funny stories about John. | 0:27:14 | 0:27:17 | |
If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would be better. | 0:27:17 | 0:27:22 | |
On we go. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:23 | |
So, for funny stories, one has to look no further than John's blog - | 0:27:23 | 0:27:28 | |
the record of our time together. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
Of course, he does tend to romanticise things a bit, | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
but then, you know, he's a romantic. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
We've tackled some strange cases. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
The Hollow Client... | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
The Poison Giant... | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
Get down, John! | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
We've had some frustrating cases... | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
What is that? | 0:28:07 | 0:28:09 | |
A French decathlete found completely out of his mind, | 0:28:09 | 0:28:12 | |
surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes, | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
all empty, except this one. | 0:28:15 | 0:28:16 | |
And what's in that one? | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
Inexplicable. | 0:28:20 | 0:28:22 | |
Touching cases... | 0:28:25 | 0:28:27 | |
She's going to ring the doorbell. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:30 | |
Oh, no. She's changed her mind. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
Oh, she's going to do it. No, she's leaving. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
She's leaving. Oh, she's coming back. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
-She's a client, she's boring. I've seen those symptoms before. -Hmm? | 0:28:41 | 0:28:45 | |
Oscillation on the pavement always means there's a love affair. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:49 | |
And, of course, I have to mention the elephant in the room... | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
ELEPHANT TRUMPETS | 0:28:53 | 0:28:56 | |
But we want something | 0:28:56 | 0:28:58 | |
very particular for this special day, don't we? | 0:28:58 | 0:29:01 | |
The Bloody Guardsman... | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 | |
Need to work on your half of the church, Mary, looking a bit thin. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:11 | |
Oh, orphan's lot. Friends, that's all I have, lots of friends. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:15 | |
Schedule the organ music to begin at precisely 11:48... | 0:29:15 | 0:29:17 | |
But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks, just calm down. | 0:29:17 | 0:29:20 | |
Calm? I am calm. I'm extremely calm. | 0:29:20 | 0:29:22 | |
Let's get back to the reception, come on. | 0:29:22 | 0:29:24 | |
John's cousin, top table? | 0:29:24 | 0:29:26 | |
Hmm, hates you. Can't even bear to think about you. | 0:29:26 | 0:29:29 | |
-Seriously? -Second class post, cheap card. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:32 | |
Bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp, three attempts at licking, | 0:29:32 | 0:29:35 | |
she's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva. | 0:29:35 | 0:29:37 | |
-Ah, let's stick her by the bogs. -Oh, yes. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:40 | |
Who else hates me? | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
Oh, great, thanks. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:47 | |
"Priceless painting nicked." Looks interesting. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
-Table four... -Done. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:52 | |
"My husband is three people." | 0:29:52 | 0:29:53 | |
-Table five... -Major James Sholto - who he? | 0:29:53 | 0:29:56 | |
-John's old commanding officer. I don't think he's coming. -He'll be there. | 0:29:56 | 0:29:59 | |
-Well, he needs to RSVP, then. -He'll be there. -Oh. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:01 | |
"My husband is three people." It's interesting. | 0:30:01 | 0:30:05 | |
It says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin. | 0:30:05 | 0:30:08 | |
Identical triplets, one in half a million births. Solved it without leaving the flat. | 0:30:08 | 0:30:11 | |
Now, serviettes... Swan or Sydney Opera House? | 0:30:11 | 0:30:14 | |
-Where did you learn that? -Many skills are required in the field | 0:30:14 | 0:30:17 | |
-of criminal investigation... -Fibbing, Sherlock. -I once broke an alibi by demonstrating | 0:30:17 | 0:30:20 | |
-the exact severity of a fold... -I'm not John, I can tell when you're fibbing. -OK, I learnt it on YouTube. | 0:30:20 | 0:30:25 | |
Opera House, please. Oh, hang on, I'm buzzing. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:27 | |
Hello? | 0:30:27 | 0:30:29 | |
Oh, hi, Beth. | 0:30:30 | 0:30:33 | |
Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not. | 0:30:33 | 0:30:35 | |
Actually, if that's Beth, it's probably for me, too, hang on. | 0:30:35 | 0:30:39 | |
He knows we don't have a friend called Beth. He's going to figure out that it's code. | 0:30:43 | 0:30:47 | |
-He's YouTubing serviettes. -He's thorough. -He's terrified. -Of course he's not. | 0:30:47 | 0:30:50 | |
When you're scared of something, you start wishing it sooner, just to get it all going. | 0:30:50 | 0:30:54 | |
But why would he be scared that we're getting married? | 0:30:54 | 0:30:57 | |
It's not going to change anything, we'll still do stuff. | 0:30:57 | 0:30:59 | |
You need to prove it to him. I told you to find him a new case. | 0:30:59 | 0:31:02 | |
-I'm trying. -But you need to run him, OK? Show him it's still the good old days. | 0:31:02 | 0:31:05 | |
That just, sort of, happened. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:17 | |
Sherlock, um, mate... | 0:31:20 | 0:31:23 | |
I have... | 0:31:25 | 0:31:27 | |
I've smelled 18 different perfumes, | 0:31:27 | 0:31:31 | |
I've sampled nine different slices of cake, which all tasted identical. | 0:31:31 | 0:31:36 | |
-I like the bridesmaids in purple... -Lilac. -Lilac. | 0:31:36 | 0:31:40 | |
Um, there are no more decisions left to make. | 0:31:40 | 0:31:43 | |
I don't even understand the decisions that we have made. | 0:31:43 | 0:31:46 | |
I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting. | 0:31:46 | 0:31:48 | |
So, please, before she comes back... pick something. | 0:31:48 | 0:31:54 | |
-Anything. Pick one. -Pick what? | 0:31:55 | 0:31:58 | |
A case. Your inbox is bursting. | 0:31:58 | 0:32:01 | |
Just... get me out of here. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:04 | |
You want to go out on a case? Now? | 0:32:04 | 0:32:06 | |
Please. Sherlock, for me. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
Don't you worry about a thing, I'll get you out of this. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:14 | |
Oh. | 0:32:14 | 0:32:16 | |
"Dear Mr Holmes, my name is Bainbridge. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:19 | |
"I'm a Private in Her Majesty's Household Guard. | 0:32:19 | 0:32:22 | |
"I'm writing to you about a personal matter... | 0:32:22 | 0:32:24 | |
"One I don't care to bring before my superiors, | 0:32:24 | 0:32:26 | |
"it would sound so trivial, | 0:32:26 | 0:32:28 | |
"but I think someone's stalking me. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:31 | |
"I'm used to tourists, it's part of the job, | 0:32:31 | 0:32:33 | |
"but this is different. | 0:32:33 | 0:32:35 | |
"Someone's watching me. | 0:32:35 | 0:32:37 | |
"He's taking pictures of me every day. | 0:32:40 | 0:32:42 | |
"I don't want to mention it to the Major, but it's really preying on my mind." | 0:32:43 | 0:32:47 | |
Uniform fetishist? All the nice girls like a soldier. | 0:32:51 | 0:32:54 | |
It's "sailor". And Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke. | 0:32:54 | 0:32:58 | |
Let's go and investigate. Please. | 0:32:58 | 0:33:00 | |
-Elite guard. -40 enlisted men and officers. | 0:33:00 | 0:33:03 | |
Why this particular Grenadier? Curious. | 0:33:03 | 0:33:05 | |
-Now you're talking. -OK. -Bye! | 0:33:05 | 0:33:08 | |
Er, we're just going to... I need, um, Sherlock to help me | 0:33:08 | 0:33:12 | |
-choose some er... -Ties. -Socks. | 0:33:12 | 0:33:14 | |
-Why don't we go with socks? -Yeah. | 0:33:14 | 0:33:16 | |
I mean, you've got to get the right ones. | 0:33:16 | 0:33:18 | |
-Exactly, to go with my... -Tie. -Outfit. | 0:33:18 | 0:33:21 | |
-That'll take a while, right? -Is my coat in there? -Yes. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:24 | |
I'm just going to take him out for a bit. Run him. | 0:33:26 | 0:33:29 | |
-I know. You said you'd find him a case. -Hmm. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:31 | |
-Coming, Sherlock? -Coming! | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
Taxi! | 0:33:41 | 0:33:43 | |
Company, halt! | 0:33:57 | 0:34:00 | |
Right turn! | 0:34:04 | 0:34:06 | |
We're here to see Private Stephen Bainbridge. | 0:34:07 | 0:34:09 | |
He's on duty right now, sir. | 0:34:09 | 0:34:11 | |
But I'll certainly let him know when he's free. | 0:34:11 | 0:34:13 | |
And when will that be? | 0:34:13 | 0:34:14 | |
Another hour. | 0:34:14 | 0:34:16 | |
Do you think they give them classes? | 0:34:30 | 0:34:32 | |
Classes? | 0:34:32 | 0:34:33 | |
How to resist the temptation to scratch their behinds. | 0:34:33 | 0:34:37 | |
Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system. | 0:34:37 | 0:34:41 | |
Bum itch. | 0:34:41 | 0:34:42 | |
Oh. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:43 | |
So why don't you see him any more? | 0:34:48 | 0:34:50 | |
-Who? -Your previous commander, Sholto. | 0:34:50 | 0:34:53 | |
Previous commander? | 0:34:53 | 0:34:55 | |
I meant ex. | 0:34:55 | 0:34:57 | |
"Previous" suggests that I currently have a commander. | 0:34:57 | 0:34:59 | |
-Which you don't. -Which I don't. -Of course you don't. | 0:34:59 | 0:35:02 | |
He was decorated, wasn't he? A war hero? | 0:35:02 | 0:35:05 | |
Not to everyone. | 0:35:05 | 0:35:06 | |
He led a team of crows into battle. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:09 | |
Crows? | 0:35:09 | 0:35:10 | |
New recruits. It's standard procedure - break the new boys in. | 0:35:10 | 0:35:13 | |
But it went wrong. | 0:35:13 | 0:35:14 | |
They all died. He was the only survivor. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
-The press and families gave him hell. He gets more death threats than you. -Oh, I wouldn't count on that. | 0:35:18 | 0:35:23 | |
And why have you suddenly taken an interest in another human being? | 0:35:23 | 0:35:27 | |
I'm "chatting". | 0:35:27 | 0:35:28 | |
I won't be trying THAT again. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:34 | |
Changing the subject completely... | 0:35:34 | 0:35:38 | |
you know it won't alter anything, right, me and Mary getting married? | 0:35:38 | 0:35:43 | |
We'll still be doing all this... | 0:35:43 | 0:35:45 | |
-Oh, good. -..if you were worried. | 0:35:45 | 0:35:47 | |
I wasn't worried. | 0:35:47 | 0:35:49 | |
Hmm. | 0:35:51 | 0:35:52 | |
The thing about Mary, | 0:35:53 | 0:35:56 | |
she has completely turned my life around. | 0:35:56 | 0:35:58 | |
Changed everything. | 0:36:00 | 0:36:01 | |
But, for the record, | 0:36:03 | 0:36:04 | |
over the last few years, there are two people who have done that, | 0:36:04 | 0:36:07 | |
and the other one is... | 0:36:07 | 0:36:11 | |
a complete dickhead. | 0:36:11 | 0:36:13 | |
Can I ask what this is in connection with? | 0:37:45 | 0:37:47 | |
Private Bainbridge contacted us about a personal matter, sir. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:51 | |
Nothing's personal when it concerns my troops. | 0:37:51 | 0:37:54 | |
What do you really want? | 0:37:54 | 0:37:56 | |
I'm here on a legitimate enquiry. | 0:37:56 | 0:37:59 | |
Are you press? Digging for some bloody Royal story or something? | 0:37:59 | 0:38:03 | |
No, sir, I'm Captain John Watson, | 0:38:03 | 0:38:05 | |
Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers. | 0:38:05 | 0:38:07 | |
Retired. | 0:38:07 | 0:38:09 | |
You could be a used-car salesman now, for all I know. | 0:38:09 | 0:38:12 | |
Bainbridge? | 0:38:14 | 0:38:16 | |
Gentleman here to see you. | 0:38:16 | 0:38:18 | |
Bainbridge! | 0:38:19 | 0:38:21 | |
I know you, don't I? | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
Hmm? | 0:38:31 | 0:38:32 | |
I've seen you in the papers. | 0:38:35 | 0:38:38 | |
You hang around with that detective, | 0:38:38 | 0:38:40 | |
the one with the silly hat. | 0:38:40 | 0:38:42 | |
What the hell does Bainbridge want with a detective? | 0:38:44 | 0:38:46 | |
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say. | 0:38:46 | 0:38:48 | |
You're not at liberty to say? He's a soldier in my regiment. | 0:38:48 | 0:38:51 | |
-I'll be damned if he's going to get up to cloak-and-dagger nonsense like this. -Sir! | 0:38:51 | 0:38:55 | |
-Sir! -What's going on? -It's Bainbridge, sir. | 0:38:55 | 0:38:57 | |
He's dead. | 0:38:57 | 0:38:59 | |
My God! | 0:39:08 | 0:39:11 | |
-Ah! -No, let me take a look, sir, I'm a doctor. | 0:39:11 | 0:39:14 | |
What? | 0:39:14 | 0:39:15 | |
Sergeant, arrest this man! | 0:39:15 | 0:39:17 | |
What? No, no! I'm a doctor! | 0:39:17 | 0:39:18 | |
Oh, you're a doctor now, too? Sergeant. | 0:39:18 | 0:39:20 | |
Let me examine him, please! | 0:39:20 | 0:39:21 | |
Sir, caught this one snooping around. | 0:39:21 | 0:39:23 | |
Is that what this is all about? | 0:39:23 | 0:39:25 | |
Distracting me, so that this man could get in here | 0:39:25 | 0:39:27 | |
-and kill Bainbridge? -Don't be... | 0:39:27 | 0:39:28 | |
-Kill him with what? Where's the weapon? -What? | 0:39:28 | 0:39:31 | |
Where's the weapon? Go on, search me - no weapon. | 0:39:31 | 0:39:33 | |
Bainbridge was on parade. He came off duty five minutes ago. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
When's this supposed to have happened? | 0:39:36 | 0:39:37 | |
-You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower. -No. -No?! | 0:39:37 | 0:39:41 | |
He's soaking wet and there's shampoo in his hair. He got into the shower, then someone stabbed him. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:45 | |
The cubicle was locked from the inside, sir. I had to break it open. | 0:39:45 | 0:39:48 | |
-You must have climbed over the top. -But then I'd be soaking wet, too, wouldn't I? | 0:39:48 | 0:39:51 | |
Major, please! I'm John Watson, Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers, | 0:39:51 | 0:39:54 | |
three years in Afghanistan, a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand | 0:39:54 | 0:39:57 | |
and Bart's bloody Hospital! | 0:39:57 | 0:39:59 | |
Let me examine this body! | 0:39:59 | 0:40:00 | |
Thank you. | 0:40:07 | 0:40:09 | |
Suicide? | 0:40:09 | 0:40:11 | |
No. The weapon again. No knife. | 0:40:11 | 0:40:13 | |
Now, there is a wound to the abdomen. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:19 | |
Incredibly fine. | 0:40:21 | 0:40:22 | |
Man stabbed to death, no murder weapon. | 0:40:22 | 0:40:25 | |
Door locked from the inside. | 0:40:25 | 0:40:26 | |
-Only one way in or out of here. -Sherlock... | 0:40:27 | 0:40:29 | |
-Hmm? -He's still breathing. | 0:40:29 | 0:40:31 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:40:31 | 0:40:33 | |
-What do we do? -Give me your scarf. -What? | 0:40:33 | 0:40:35 | |
Quickly, now! Call an ambulance! | 0:40:35 | 0:40:37 | |
-What? -Call an ambulance, now! | 0:40:37 | 0:40:39 | |
Do it! | 0:40:39 | 0:40:41 | |
Nurse, press here, hard. | 0:40:41 | 0:40:43 | |
-Nurse? -Yeah, I'm making do. | 0:40:43 | 0:40:45 | |
Keep pressure on that wound. | 0:40:45 | 0:40:46 | |
Stephen? Stephen, stay with me. | 0:40:46 | 0:40:49 | |
Private Bainbridge had just come off guard duty. | 0:40:51 | 0:40:53 | |
He'd stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, | 0:40:53 | 0:40:55 | |
nothing apparently wrong. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:56 | |
He came off duty and, within minutes, was nearly dead | 0:40:56 | 0:40:59 | |
from a wound in his stomach, | 0:40:59 | 0:41:01 | |
but there was no weapon. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:02 | |
Where did it go? | 0:41:02 | 0:41:04 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this - | 0:41:04 | 0:41:06 | |
a murderer who can walk through walls, | 0:41:06 | 0:41:09 | |
a weapon that can vanish. But, in all of this, | 0:41:09 | 0:41:11 | |
there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. | 0:41:11 | 0:41:14 | |
Would anyone like to make a guess? | 0:41:16 | 0:41:18 | |
Come on, come on, | 0:41:22 | 0:41:23 | |
there is actually an element of Q&A to all of this. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
Scotland Yard, have you got a theory? | 0:41:29 | 0:41:31 | |
Yeah, you. You're a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory? | 0:41:31 | 0:41:36 | |
Er, um, if the, er... | 0:41:36 | 0:41:37 | |
If the... If the... | 0:41:37 | 0:41:39 | |
If the blade was propelled through the, erm... | 0:41:39 | 0:41:41 | |
..grating in the air vent, | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
maybe a ballista or a catapult, um... | 0:41:45 | 0:41:49 | |
Somebody tiny could crawl in there. | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
So, yeah, we're looking for a dwarf. | 0:41:52 | 0:41:54 | |
Brilliant. | 0:41:54 | 0:41:56 | |
-Really? -No. | 0:41:56 | 0:41:57 | |
Next? | 0:41:57 | 0:41:58 | |
(He stabbed himself.) | 0:41:58 | 0:41:59 | |
Hello, who was that? | 0:41:59 | 0:42:01 | |
Tom? | 0:42:01 | 0:42:03 | |
Got a theory? | 0:42:06 | 0:42:07 | |
Attempted suicide, with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:14 | |
Broke after piercing his abdomen, | 0:42:14 | 0:42:16 | |
like a meat... | 0:42:16 | 0:42:19 | |
dagger. | 0:42:19 | 0:42:20 | |
A meat dagger? | 0:42:20 | 0:42:22 | |
-Yes. -(Sit down.) | 0:42:22 | 0:42:24 | |
No. | 0:42:25 | 0:42:26 | |
There was one feature, and only one feature, of interest | 0:42:27 | 0:42:31 | |
in the whole of this baffling case, | 0:42:31 | 0:42:33 | |
and, quite frankly, it was the usual - John Watson, | 0:42:33 | 0:42:36 | |
who, while I was trying to solve a murder, instead, saved a life. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:40 | |
There are mysteries worth solving | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
and stories worth telling. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:45 | |
The best and bravest man I know | 0:42:47 | 0:42:48 | |
and, on top of that, he actually knows how to do stuff. | 0:42:48 | 0:42:51 | |
Except wedding planning and serviettes - he's rubbish at those. | 0:42:51 | 0:42:53 | |
-Hmm. -The case itself remains | 0:42:53 | 0:42:55 | |
the most ingenious and brilliantly planned murder, or attempted murder, | 0:42:55 | 0:42:58 | |
I've ever had the pleasure to encounter. | 0:42:58 | 0:43:01 | |
The most perfect locked-room mystery of which I am aware. | 0:43:01 | 0:43:05 | |
However, I'm not just here to praise John, | 0:43:05 | 0:43:06 | |
I'm also here to embarrass him, so let's move on to... | 0:43:06 | 0:43:09 | |
No, wait... How was it done? | 0:43:09 | 0:43:10 | |
-How was what done? -The stabbing? | 0:43:10 | 0:43:12 | |
I'm afraid I don't know. | 0:43:14 | 0:43:16 | |
I didn't solve that one. | 0:43:16 | 0:43:18 | |
It can happen sometimes. It's very, very disappointing. | 0:43:18 | 0:43:22 | |
Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night. | 0:43:22 | 0:43:24 | |
Of course, there's hours of material here, | 0:43:24 | 0:43:26 | |
but I've cut it down to the really good bits. | 0:43:26 | 0:43:29 | |
Murder scenes? | 0:43:30 | 0:43:32 | |
Locations of murders? | 0:43:32 | 0:43:35 | |
Hmm, pub crawl, themed. | 0:43:35 | 0:43:36 | |
Yeah, but why can't you just do Underground stations? | 0:43:36 | 0:43:39 | |
It lacks the personal touch. We're going to go for a drink in every... | 0:43:39 | 0:43:42 | |
In every street where you've found a corpse. Delightful! | 0:43:42 | 0:43:44 | |
Where do I come in? | 0:43:44 | 0:43:46 | |
Don't want to get ill. That would ruin it, spoil the mood. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:48 | |
You're a graduate chemist, can't you just work it out? | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
I lack the practical experience. | 0:43:51 | 0:43:53 | |
Meaning, you think I like a drink? | 0:43:54 | 0:43:56 | |
-Occasionally. -That I'm a drunk. -No... No. | 0:43:56 | 0:43:58 | |
You look...well. | 0:44:02 | 0:44:05 | |
I am. | 0:44:05 | 0:44:06 | |
How's... | 0:44:06 | 0:44:08 | |
Tom? | 0:44:11 | 0:44:12 | |
Not a sociopath. | 0:44:12 | 0:44:13 | |
Still? Good. | 0:44:13 | 0:44:15 | |
And we're having quite a lot of sex. | 0:44:15 | 0:44:17 | |
OK. I want you to calculate John's ideal intake, and mine, | 0:44:19 | 0:44:23 | |
to remain in the sweet spot for the whole evening. | 0:44:23 | 0:44:25 | |
Light-headed - good. | 0:44:25 | 0:44:26 | |
Urinating in wardrobes - bad. | 0:44:26 | 0:44:29 | |
Hmm. | 0:44:29 | 0:44:30 | |
Two, erm...beers, please. | 0:44:30 | 0:44:32 | |
Pints? | 0:44:32 | 0:44:34 | |
443.7 millilitres. | 0:44:34 | 0:44:36 | |
Ah. | 0:44:39 | 0:44:40 | |
JOHN SIGHS | 0:44:43 | 0:44:45 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT What, are we on a schedule? | 0:44:45 | 0:44:48 | |
You'll thank me. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:49 | |
-Cheers. -Cheers. | 0:45:06 | 0:45:07 | |
-Over there. -What? | 0:45:13 | 0:45:15 | |
Toilets - any second now, you're going to need... | 0:45:15 | 0:45:17 | |
-Hang on, tell me after. I need the loo. -Hmm, on schedule. | 0:45:17 | 0:45:19 | |
-Eh? -Nothing. Go! | 0:45:19 | 0:45:22 | |
-How long? -Sorry? | 0:45:27 | 0:45:29 | |
Your visit. | 0:45:29 | 0:45:30 | |
Estimate approximate volume discharge... | 0:45:30 | 0:45:34 | |
Stop talking now. | 0:45:34 | 0:45:35 | |
Oh, quick, one more. He mustn't see. | 0:45:39 | 0:45:43 | |
Here you go. Cheers. | 0:45:52 | 0:45:54 | |
I know ash! Don't tell me I don't! | 0:45:58 | 0:46:03 | |
All right, enough! That's... Stand up. | 0:46:05 | 0:46:09 | |
Ash. I know ash. | 0:46:11 | 0:46:14 | |
I have an international reputation. | 0:46:21 | 0:46:23 | |
Do you have an international reputation? | 0:46:25 | 0:46:27 | |
-No, I don't have an international reputation. -No. | 0:46:27 | 0:46:31 | |
And I can't even remember what for. | 0:46:34 | 0:46:35 | |
It's crime...something or other. | 0:46:39 | 0:46:44 | |
Oh, what are you doing back? | 0:46:46 | 0:46:48 | |
I thought you were going to be up late. | 0:46:48 | 0:46:50 | |
Ah, Hudders. What time is it? | 0:46:50 | 0:46:52 | |
You've only been out two hours. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:55 | |
Am I a vegetable? | 0:47:06 | 0:47:08 | |
-You or the...thing...? -Pffrrrt! | 0:47:08 | 0:47:10 | |
Funny! | 0:47:12 | 0:47:13 | |
Thank you. | 0:47:13 | 0:47:14 | |
-Come on. -No, you're not a vegetable. -It's your go. | 0:47:14 | 0:47:17 | |
Erm... | 0:47:19 | 0:47:20 | |
am I human? | 0:47:20 | 0:47:23 | |
Sometimes. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:24 | |
Can't have sometimes. | 0:47:24 | 0:47:25 | |
It has to be, um... | 0:47:25 | 0:47:26 | |
-Yes, you're human. -Yes, I know, OK. And am I a man? | 0:47:26 | 0:47:30 | |
-Yep. -Tall? | 0:47:30 | 0:47:32 | |
Not as tall as people think. | 0:47:33 | 0:47:35 | |
Hmm. Nice? | 0:47:35 | 0:47:36 | |
Ish. | 0:47:36 | 0:47:38 | |
Clever? | 0:47:38 | 0:47:39 | |
I would say so. | 0:47:39 | 0:47:40 | |
You would. | 0:47:40 | 0:47:41 | |
Hmm, am I important? | 0:47:41 | 0:47:43 | |
To some people. | 0:47:43 | 0:47:45 | |
Do people like me? | 0:47:45 | 0:47:47 | |
Erm, no, they don't. | 0:47:47 | 0:47:49 | |
You tend to rub them up the wrong way. | 0:47:49 | 0:47:52 | |
OK. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
Am I the current King of England? | 0:47:54 | 0:47:56 | |
JOHN LAUGHS | 0:47:56 | 0:47:58 | |
You know we don't have a King. | 0:47:58 | 0:48:00 | |
-Don't we? -No. | 0:48:00 | 0:48:02 | |
Your go. | 0:48:02 | 0:48:04 | |
I don't mind. Am I a woman? | 0:48:11 | 0:48:13 | |
SHERLOCK GUFFAWS | 0:48:13 | 0:48:15 | |
What? | 0:48:15 | 0:48:17 | |
Yes. | 0:48:18 | 0:48:20 | |
Am I...pretty? | 0:48:20 | 0:48:22 | |
This? | 0:48:24 | 0:48:25 | |
Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, | 0:48:27 | 0:48:30 | |
influences and role models. | 0:48:30 | 0:48:32 | |
Yeah, but am I a pretty lady? | 0:48:32 | 0:48:34 | |
I don't know who you are. I don't know who you're supposed to be. | 0:48:37 | 0:48:40 | |
You picked the name! | 0:48:40 | 0:48:41 | |
But I picked it at random from the papers. | 0:48:41 | 0:48:43 | |
You're not really getting the hang of this game, are you, Sherlock? | 0:48:43 | 0:48:47 | |
So, I am human, I'm not as tall as people think I am. I'm... | 0:48:47 | 0:48:51 | |
I'm nice-ish, clever, | 0:48:51 | 0:48:53 | |
important to some people. | 0:48:53 | 0:48:55 | |
But I tend to rub them up the wrong way. | 0:48:55 | 0:48:58 | |
Got it. | 0:48:59 | 0:49:01 | |
-Go on, then. -I'm you, aren't I? | 0:49:01 | 0:49:03 | |
-KNOCK AT DOOR -Client! | 0:49:03 | 0:49:05 | |
Hello. | 0:49:05 | 0:49:07 | |
-Hello. -Come on. | 0:49:07 | 0:49:09 | |
Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes? | 0:49:09 | 0:49:11 | |
I don't...a lot. | 0:49:16 | 0:49:18 | |
I mean, I don't date all that much. | 0:49:18 | 0:49:21 | |
And he seemed nice, you know? | 0:49:21 | 0:49:26 | |
We seemed to automatically connect. | 0:49:26 | 0:49:29 | |
We had one night, | 0:49:29 | 0:49:30 | |
dinner, such interesting conversation. | 0:49:30 | 0:49:34 | |
It was lovely. | 0:49:34 | 0:49:36 | |
To be honest, | 0:49:36 | 0:49:38 | |
I'd love to have gone further, | 0:49:38 | 0:49:41 | |
but I thought, no, this is special, | 0:49:41 | 0:49:45 | |
let's take it slowly. | 0:49:45 | 0:49:47 | |
Exchanged numbers, | 0:49:47 | 0:49:48 | |
he said he'd get in touch and then... | 0:49:48 | 0:49:51 | |
Maybe he wasn't quite as keen as I was, | 0:49:54 | 0:50:00 | |
but I just thought | 0:50:00 | 0:50:03 | |
at least he'd call to say that we were finished. | 0:50:03 | 0:50:06 | |
I went round there, | 0:50:13 | 0:50:16 | |
to his flat, no trace of him. | 0:50:16 | 0:50:19 | |
Mr Holmes, I honestly think | 0:50:19 | 0:50:23 | |
I had dinner with a ghost. | 0:50:23 | 0:50:27 | |
Mr Holmes? | 0:50:31 | 0:50:33 | |
With a ghost, Mr Holmes! | 0:50:38 | 0:50:40 | |
Boring, boring, boring. No... | 0:50:40 | 0:50:43 | |
fascinating. | 0:50:43 | 0:50:45 | |
John. John! Wake up. | 0:50:46 | 0:50:48 | |
I apologise about my... You know... Him. | 0:50:48 | 0:50:51 | |
Rude. Rude! | 0:50:51 | 0:50:53 | |
I checked with the landlord | 0:50:54 | 0:50:56 | |
and the man who lived there died. | 0:50:56 | 0:51:00 | |
Heart attack. | 0:51:00 | 0:51:01 | |
And there we are having dinner one week on. | 0:51:01 | 0:51:05 | |
And I found this thing online, | 0:51:05 | 0:51:09 | |
a sort of chatroom thing, | 0:51:09 | 0:51:11 | |
for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world. | 0:51:11 | 0:51:16 | |
Don't worry, I'll find him in ten minutes. | 0:51:16 | 0:51:19 | |
What's your dog's name? | 0:51:19 | 0:51:20 | |
-Yeah, I'm there if you want it... -John, wake up. | 0:51:20 | 0:51:23 | |
-Went to... -Yeah. | 0:51:23 | 0:51:25 | |
The game is...something. | 0:51:25 | 0:51:27 | |
On? | 0:51:28 | 0:51:29 | |
Yeah, that, that. | 0:51:29 | 0:51:31 | |
OK. | 0:51:31 | 0:51:32 | |
Oh, it's nice. | 0:51:41 | 0:51:43 | |
Nice place. | 0:51:43 | 0:51:45 | |
-See anything? -Hmm? | 0:51:50 | 0:51:52 | |
Any clues, Mr Holmes? | 0:51:52 | 0:51:54 | |
Oh, errrm... | 0:51:54 | 0:51:56 | |
I'm just going to whip this out. | 0:52:17 | 0:52:19 | |
-You all right? -Hmm? Yeah, he's clueing. -What? | 0:52:36 | 0:52:39 | |
He's... Hmm? He's clueing for looks. | 0:52:39 | 0:52:41 | |
Mr Holmes? | 0:52:52 | 0:52:54 | |
HE SNORES | 0:52:54 | 0:52:57 | |
-Mr Holmes! -I'm calling the police. -Oh, no... | 0:52:59 | 0:53:02 | |
Whoa, whoa, whoa! | 0:53:02 | 0:53:03 | |
No, look, this is a famous detective. | 0:53:03 | 0:53:05 | |
It's Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson. | 0:53:05 | 0:53:08 | |
What do you think you're doing? | 0:53:08 | 0:53:10 | |
Don't compromise | 0:53:10 | 0:53:12 | |
the integrity of the... | 0:53:12 | 0:53:14 | |
HE VOMITS | 0:53:14 | 0:53:18 | |
Crime scene. | 0:53:20 | 0:53:21 | |
Yeah, that. | 0:53:27 | 0:53:29 | |
-CELL DOOR SLAMS OPEN -Wakey-wakey! | 0:53:49 | 0:53:50 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:53:50 | 0:53:52 | |
Greg... Is that Greg? | 0:53:52 | 0:53:54 | |
Get up. I'm going to put you two in a taxi. | 0:53:54 | 0:53:56 | |
I managed to square things with the desk sergeant. | 0:53:56 | 0:53:59 | |
Ha! What a couple of lightweights - | 0:53:59 | 0:54:01 | |
you couldn't even make it to closing time! | 0:54:01 | 0:54:03 | |
-Can you whisper? HE SHOUTS: -Not really! | 0:54:03 | 0:54:06 | |
Come on. | 0:54:09 | 0:54:10 | |
Well, thanks for a... | 0:54:22 | 0:54:26 | |
You know...an evening. | 0:54:26 | 0:54:28 | |
It was awful. | 0:54:28 | 0:54:29 | |
Yeah. I was going to pretend, but... | 0:54:29 | 0:54:32 | |
it was, truly. | 0:54:32 | 0:54:34 | |
That woman, Tessa... | 0:54:34 | 0:54:35 | |
What? | 0:54:35 | 0:54:36 | |
Dated a ghost, most interesting case for months. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:39 | |
What a wasted opportunity! | 0:54:39 | 0:54:40 | |
OK. | 0:54:42 | 0:54:43 | |
How are you feeling? | 0:54:49 | 0:54:51 | |
Hmm. | 0:54:51 | 0:54:52 | |
It's just like old times, having you back here. | 0:54:53 | 0:54:56 | |
I thought I'd make your favourite, one last time. | 0:54:56 | 0:55:00 | |
Oh. Don't sound so final about it, | 0:55:00 | 0:55:03 | |
-I will be visiting, you know. -Ooh, I've heard that one before! | 0:55:03 | 0:55:06 | |
No, it's different now, though, isn't it? | 0:55:06 | 0:55:08 | |
It's different to when we thought we'd lost him. | 0:55:08 | 0:55:10 | |
Well, marriage changes everything, John. | 0:55:10 | 0:55:12 | |
-Does it? -Yeah. You might not think it, but it does. | 0:55:12 | 0:55:16 | |
It's a different phase in your life. | 0:55:16 | 0:55:18 | |
You meet new people, | 0:55:18 | 0:55:19 | |
cos you're a couple, | 0:55:19 | 0:55:21 | |
and then you just let your old friends slip away. | 0:55:21 | 0:55:25 | |
-It won't be like that. -Well, if you've found the right one, | 0:55:25 | 0:55:28 | |
the person that you click with, it's the best thing in the world. | 0:55:28 | 0:55:31 | |
-Well, I have. I know I have. -Oh, I'm sure. | 0:55:31 | 0:55:34 | |
She's lovely. | 0:55:34 | 0:55:35 | |
Yeah, I think so. What about you? | 0:55:35 | 0:55:38 | |
Me? | 0:55:38 | 0:55:39 | |
Did you think you'd found the right one, when you married Mr Hudson? | 0:55:39 | 0:55:42 | |
No. It was just a whirlwind thing for us. | 0:55:42 | 0:55:45 | |
-I knew it wouldn't work, but I just got, sort of, swept along. -Right. | 0:55:45 | 0:55:49 | |
And then we moved to Florida. | 0:55:49 | 0:55:51 | |
We had a fantastic time, | 0:55:51 | 0:55:52 | |
but of course, I didn't know what he was up to. (The drugs.) | 0:55:52 | 0:55:56 | |
-Drugs?! -He was running, erm... | 0:55:56 | 0:55:58 | |
Oh, what do you call it? | 0:55:58 | 0:56:00 | |
Erm... A... | 0:56:00 | 0:56:02 | |
cartel. | 0:56:02 | 0:56:04 | |
And got in with a really bad crowd. | 0:56:04 | 0:56:06 | |
-Right. -And then I found out about all the other women. | 0:56:06 | 0:56:09 | |
I didn't have a clue. | 0:56:09 | 0:56:11 | |
So, when he was actually arrested for blowing someone's head off, | 0:56:11 | 0:56:15 | |
it was quite a relief, to be honest. | 0:56:15 | 0:56:19 | |
Oh. | 0:56:20 | 0:56:22 | |
It was purely physical between me and Frank. | 0:56:22 | 0:56:25 | |
We couldn't keep our hands off each other. | 0:56:25 | 0:56:27 | |
I know. There was one night... | 0:56:27 | 0:56:30 | |
FAINT FOOTSTEPS Oh, is that Sherlock? | 0:56:30 | 0:56:32 | |
Is it? | 0:56:32 | 0:56:33 | |
FAINT FOOTSTEPS That's Sherlock. | 0:56:33 | 0:56:36 | |
Urgh... | 0:56:39 | 0:56:41 | |
There are going to be others. | 0:56:55 | 0:56:56 | |
-Others? -Victims, women. | 0:56:56 | 0:56:59 | |
Most ghosts tend to haunt a single house. | 0:56:59 | 0:57:02 | |
This ghost, however, is willing to commute. Look. | 0:57:02 | 0:57:04 | |
Hmm... | 0:57:26 | 0:57:27 | |
Not you. Not you. | 0:57:27 | 0:57:29 | |
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. | 0:57:29 | 0:57:31 | |
Not you. Not you. | 0:57:31 | 0:57:33 | |
Not you. | 0:57:33 | 0:57:35 | |
Not you. Not you. | 0:57:35 | 0:57:37 | |
Hmm... | 0:57:37 | 0:57:38 | |
Not you. | 0:57:38 | 0:57:40 | |
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. | 0:57:40 | 0:57:43 | |
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. | 0:57:43 | 0:57:46 | |
Not you, you, you, or you, or you. | 0:57:46 | 0:57:47 | |
Or not you, not you, not you, not you, not you, not you. | 0:57:47 | 0:57:51 | |
Not you. | 0:57:51 | 0:57:52 | |
Not you. | 0:57:52 | 0:57:54 | |
Hi. | 0:58:00 | 0:58:02 | |
Gail. | 0:58:02 | 0:58:04 | |
Charlotte. | 0:58:09 | 0:58:11 | |
Robyn. | 0:58:12 | 0:58:14 | |
Vicky. | 0:58:17 | 0:58:19 | |
How did you meet? | 0:58:26 | 0:58:28 | |
-Came up to me in a pub. -Same gym as me. | 0:58:28 | 0:58:30 | |
We just got chatting on the bus. | 0:58:30 | 0:58:33 | |
Online. | 0:58:33 | 0:58:34 | |
-Name? -Told you. | 0:58:34 | 0:58:35 | |
-His name. -Oscar. | 0:58:35 | 0:58:37 | |
-Mike. -Terry. | 0:58:37 | 0:58:39 | |
Erm...Love Monkey. | 0:58:39 | 0:58:42 | |
Your place? | 0:58:42 | 0:58:44 | |
ALL: His place. | 0:58:44 | 0:58:45 | |
Address? | 0:58:46 | 0:58:47 | |
THEY ALL GIVE DIFFERENT ADDRESSES | 0:58:47 | 0:58:52 | |
Nothing happened. | 0:58:52 | 0:58:53 | |
It was just...very romantic. | 0:58:53 | 0:58:56 | |
Four women in four nights. He must have something special. | 0:58:56 | 0:58:58 | |
-He was very charming. -He listened. | 0:58:58 | 0:59:00 | |
He was sweet. | 0:59:00 | 0:59:01 | |
He had a lovely... | 0:59:01 | 0:59:03 | |
You OK? | 0:59:03 | 0:59:05 | |
You've let your food go cold. Mrs Hudson will play hell. | 0:59:05 | 0:59:08 | |
Not now, John. | 0:59:08 | 0:59:10 | |
Sorry about that. | 0:59:13 | 0:59:15 | |
He had a lovely manner. | 0:59:15 | 0:59:17 | |
Different names, different addresses. | 0:59:17 | 0:59:20 | |
Describe him. | 0:59:20 | 0:59:21 | |
Short blond hair. | 0:59:21 | 0:59:22 | |
Dark hair. Long. | 0:59:22 | 0:59:23 | |
Ginger. I like gingers. | 0:59:23 | 0:59:25 | |
Couldn't tell. | 0:59:25 | 0:59:26 | |
He had a mask on. | 0:59:26 | 0:59:28 | |
He's stealing the identity of corpses, | 0:59:30 | 0:59:32 | |
getting their names from the obituary columns. | 0:59:32 | 0:59:36 | |
All single men. | 0:59:36 | 0:59:37 | |
He's using the dead man's flat, | 0:59:37 | 0:59:38 | |
under the assumption it will be empty for a while. | 0:59:38 | 0:59:41 | |
Free love nest. | 0:59:41 | 0:59:42 | |
-I feel sick. -It's gruesome. | 0:59:42 | 0:59:44 | |
-That's awful. -Clever... | 0:59:44 | 0:59:46 | |
Bastard! | 0:59:46 | 0:59:47 | |
Hello, Tessa. | 0:59:51 | 0:59:54 | |
Meanwhile, back to business. | 0:59:54 | 0:59:55 | |
No-one wants to use a dead man's home. | 0:59:55 | 0:59:57 | |
At least, not until it's been cleared. | 0:59:58 | 1:00:00 | |
So, he disguises himself. | 1:00:00 | 1:00:03 | |
Steals the man's home, steals his identity. | 1:00:03 | 1:00:06 | |
But only for one night. Then, he's gone. | 1:00:06 | 1:00:09 | |
He's not a ghost, John. He's a Mayfly. | 1:00:09 | 1:00:11 | |
He lives for a day. | 1:00:11 | 1:00:13 | |
So, what was it he was looking for? | 1:00:14 | 1:00:18 | |
Job? | 1:00:18 | 1:00:19 | |
-Gardener. -Cook. | 1:00:19 | 1:00:20 | |
-Private nurse. -I do security work. | 1:00:20 | 1:00:22 | |
Maid. | 1:00:22 | 1:00:23 | |
Obvious. You all work for the same person. | 1:00:24 | 1:00:26 | |
No, no, not the same employer. Damn! | 1:00:41 | 1:00:43 | |
Come on, we can do this. | 1:00:43 | 1:00:44 | |
Ideal night out? | 1:00:44 | 1:00:46 | |
Clay-pigeon shooting. | 1:00:46 | 1:00:47 | |
Line dancing. | 1:00:47 | 1:00:48 | |
Pictures. | 1:00:48 | 1:00:49 | |
Wine in front of the telly. | 1:00:49 | 1:00:51 | |
Dungeon. | 1:00:51 | 1:00:53 | |
-Make-up? -Clarins. | 1:00:54 | 1:00:55 | |
No7. | 1:00:55 | 1:00:57 | |
-Maybelline. -Nothing special. | 1:00:57 | 1:00:59 | |
Whatever's cheap. | 1:00:59 | 1:01:00 | |
Perfume? | 1:01:00 | 1:01:02 | |
-Chanel. -Chanel. -Chanel. | 1:01:02 | 1:01:04 | |
-Chanel. -Estee Lauder. | 1:01:04 | 1:01:06 | |
Ideal man? | 1:01:07 | 1:01:09 | |
George Clooney. | 1:01:09 | 1:01:10 | |
-Oh...! -Home-loving. | 1:01:10 | 1:01:12 | |
He'd have to like cuddling. | 1:01:12 | 1:01:13 | |
-Caring. -Ten things. | 1:01:13 | 1:01:16 | |
One - someone who isn't competitive with other men. | 1:01:16 | 1:01:18 | |
Two - someone who isn't constantly | 1:01:18 | 1:01:20 | |
trying to define himself by his masculinity... | 1:01:20 | 1:01:24 | |
There's a unifying factor, | 1:01:24 | 1:01:26 | |
there has to be. | 1:01:26 | 1:01:28 | |
None of you reported anything stolen. | 1:01:28 | 1:01:30 | |
Security guard, gardener, cook, maid, private nurse. | 1:01:32 | 1:01:36 | |
He's romancing his way up a pecking order. | 1:01:36 | 1:01:37 | |
Somebody's pecking order. Come on, think. Unless... | 1:01:37 | 1:01:40 | |
Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? | 1:01:42 | 1:01:44 | |
ALL: No. | 1:01:44 | 1:01:45 | |
-Gotcha! -What do you mean? | 1:01:45 | 1:01:47 | |
Everyone has secrets and they all replied too quickly. | 1:01:47 | 1:01:49 | |
-Got to go. -See you. -No... Wait! -Bye-bye. -Wait! | 1:01:49 | 1:01:52 | |
Sorry, Sexy, some secrets have to stay secret. | 1:01:52 | 1:01:55 | |
Enjoy the wedding. | 1:01:55 | 1:01:57 | |
Why? WHY would he date all of those women and not return their calls? | 1:01:59 | 1:02:03 | |
-You're missing the obvious, mate. -Am I? | 1:02:03 | 1:02:05 | |
He's a man. | 1:02:05 | 1:02:07 | |
But why would he change his identity? | 1:02:07 | 1:02:09 | |
Maybe he's married. | 1:02:09 | 1:02:10 | |
Oh... | 1:02:12 | 1:02:13 | |
Married. | 1:02:13 | 1:02:15 | |
Obvious, really. | 1:02:15 | 1:02:16 | |
Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape | 1:02:16 | 1:02:18 | |
the suffocating chains of domesticity | 1:02:18 | 1:02:20 | |
and, instead of endless nights in watching the telly | 1:02:20 | 1:02:22 | |
or going to barbecues with the awful, dreadful, boring people he couldn't stand, | 1:02:22 | 1:02:25 | |
he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise to play the field. He was... | 1:02:25 | 1:02:29 | |
On second thoughts, | 1:02:32 | 1:02:33 | |
I probably should have told you about the elephant in the room. | 1:02:33 | 1:02:36 | |
However, it does help to further illustrate | 1:02:36 | 1:02:39 | |
how invaluable John is to me. | 1:02:39 | 1:02:41 | |
I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. | 1:02:41 | 1:02:44 | |
I used to think that's what made me special. Quite frankly, I still do. | 1:02:44 | 1:02:47 | |
But a word to the wise, | 1:02:47 | 1:02:49 | |
should any of you require the services of either of us, | 1:02:49 | 1:02:52 | |
I will solve your murder, | 1:02:52 | 1:02:53 | |
but it takes John Watson to save your life. | 1:02:53 | 1:02:56 | |
Trust me on that, I should know. | 1:02:56 | 1:02:58 | |
He's saved mine so many times and in so many ways. | 1:02:58 | 1:03:00 | |
This blog is the story of two men | 1:03:02 | 1:03:06 | |
and their, frankly, ridiculous adventures | 1:03:06 | 1:03:10 | |
of murder, mystery and mayhem. | 1:03:10 | 1:03:13 | |
But from now on, there's a new story. | 1:03:14 | 1:03:17 | |
A bigger adventure. | 1:03:19 | 1:03:21 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 1:03:22 | 1:03:24 | |
pray, charge your glasses and be upstanding. | 1:03:24 | 1:03:28 | |
Today begin the adventures | 1:03:28 | 1:03:30 | |
of Mary Elizabeth Watson | 1:03:30 | 1:03:32 | |
and John Hamish Watson. | 1:03:32 | 1:03:34 | |
The two reasons why every single one of us is... | 1:03:34 | 1:03:38 | |
What did you say? | 1:03:56 | 1:03:57 | |
You said... | 1:03:57 | 1:04:00 | |
"John Hamish Watson." | 1:04:00 | 1:04:04 | |
You said that. You said "Hamish." | 1:04:04 | 1:04:06 | |
This is a famous detective, it's Sherlock Holmes | 1:04:07 | 1:04:10 | |
and his partner, John Hamish Watson. | 1:04:10 | 1:04:11 | |
How did you know? | 1:04:11 | 1:04:13 | |
How did YOU know his middle name? | 1:04:13 | 1:04:15 | |
He never tells anyone, he hates it. | 1:04:15 | 1:04:18 | |
John "H" Watson? | 1:04:22 | 1:04:24 | |
Yep. | 1:04:24 | 1:04:25 | |
-Henry? -Shut up. | 1:04:32 | 1:04:34 | |
Humphrey? | 1:04:34 | 1:04:35 | |
Shut up. | 1:04:35 | 1:04:37 | |
-SHOWER RUNS -Higgins? | 1:04:37 | 1:04:40 | |
'Go away!' | 1:04:40 | 1:04:42 | |
It took him years to confide in me. | 1:04:42 | 1:04:45 | |
Oh... | 1:04:45 | 1:04:47 | |
That's my birth certificate. | 1:04:47 | 1:04:49 | |
Yep. | 1:04:49 | 1:04:50 | |
And the woman - she knew. | 1:04:55 | 1:04:57 | |
Hamish. | 1:04:59 | 1:05:01 | |
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT | 1:05:01 | 1:05:02 | |
John Hamish Watson, | 1:05:02 | 1:05:04 | |
just if you were looking for baby names. | 1:05:04 | 1:05:07 | |
God knows where she is. | 1:05:07 | 1:05:09 | |
Out of my head, I am busy! | 1:05:13 | 1:05:15 | |
There's only one time that name's been made public. | 1:05:17 | 1:05:19 | |
Does it have to be on the invitation? | 1:05:19 | 1:05:21 | |
It's your name. | 1:05:21 | 1:05:23 | |
-It's traditional... -It's funny... | 1:05:23 | 1:05:25 | |
'Enjoy the wedding...' | 1:05:28 | 1:05:30 | |
Enjoy the wedding. | 1:05:34 | 1:05:36 | |
The wedding. You knew about the wedding. | 1:05:36 | 1:05:38 | |
More importantly, you'd seen a wedding invitation. | 1:05:38 | 1:05:40 | |
Now, barely 100 people had seen that invitation. | 1:05:40 | 1:05:42 | |
The Mayfly Man only saw five women. | 1:05:42 | 1:05:45 | |
For one person to be in both groups... | 1:05:45 | 1:05:47 | |
could be a coincidence. | 1:05:47 | 1:05:48 | |
Oh, Sherlock! | 1:05:48 | 1:05:50 | |
What do we say about coincidences? | 1:05:50 | 1:05:53 | |
The universe is rarely so lazy. | 1:05:53 | 1:05:54 | |
-So, the balance of probability is? -Someone went to great lengths | 1:05:54 | 1:05:57 | |
-to find out something about this wedding. -What great lengths? -They lied. Assumed false identities. | 1:05:57 | 1:06:01 | |
-Which suggests? -Criminal intent. | 1:06:01 | 1:06:04 | |
Also suggests? | 1:06:04 | 1:06:05 | |
Intelligence, planning. | 1:06:05 | 1:06:06 | |
Clearly. But more importantly? | 1:06:06 | 1:06:08 | |
The Mayfly Man. | 1:06:10 | 1:06:12 | |
The Mayfly Man is... | 1:06:12 | 1:06:14 | |
Here today! | 1:06:14 | 1:06:16 | |
Ooh, sorry. I... | 1:06:16 | 1:06:19 | |
Another glass, sir? | 1:06:20 | 1:06:21 | |
Thank you, yes, thank you. Yes. | 1:06:21 | 1:06:23 | |
Something's going to happen, right here. | 1:06:23 | 1:06:26 | |
Now, where were we? | 1:06:29 | 1:06:30 | |
Could be any second. | 1:06:30 | 1:06:31 | |
You have control of the room. | 1:06:35 | 1:06:36 | |
Ah, yes. | 1:06:36 | 1:06:38 | |
Raising glasses and standing up. Very good. Thank you. | 1:06:38 | 1:06:41 | |
Don't lose it. | 1:06:41 | 1:06:42 | |
And down again. | 1:06:42 | 1:06:45 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 1:06:53 | 1:06:54 | |
people tell you not to milk a good speech. | 1:06:54 | 1:06:56 | |
Get off early, leave 'em laughing. | 1:06:56 | 1:06:58 | |
Wise advice I'll certainly try to bear in mind. | 1:07:00 | 1:07:03 | |
But for now... | 1:07:03 | 1:07:04 | |
part two! | 1:07:04 | 1:07:06 | |
Part two is more action-based. | 1:07:06 | 1:07:08 | |
I'm going to walk around, shake things up a bit. | 1:07:08 | 1:07:12 | |
Who'd go to a wedding? That's the question. | 1:07:12 | 1:07:15 | |
Who would bother to go to any lengths | 1:07:15 | 1:07:17 | |
to get themselves to a wedding? | 1:07:17 | 1:07:19 | |
Well, everyone. | 1:07:21 | 1:07:22 | |
-Weddings are great, love a wedding. -What's he doing? | 1:07:22 | 1:07:25 | |
Something's wrong. | 1:07:25 | 1:07:26 | |
And John's great, too. | 1:07:26 | 1:07:28 | |
Haven't said that enough, barely scratched the surface. | 1:07:28 | 1:07:31 | |
I could go on all night | 1:07:31 | 1:07:32 | |
about the depth and complexity of his jumpers. | 1:07:32 | 1:07:36 | |
And he can cook. | 1:07:36 | 1:07:39 | |
Does...erm...a thing. A thing with peas... | 1:07:39 | 1:07:42 | |
Once. Might not be peas, might not be him. | 1:07:43 | 1:07:46 | |
But he's got a great singing voice - or somebody does. | 1:07:46 | 1:07:49 | |
Too many, too many, too many, too many! | 1:07:49 | 1:07:51 | |
Sorry, too many jokes about John. | 1:07:52 | 1:07:55 | |
-Now... -Criminal intent. | 1:07:55 | 1:07:58 | |
Where was I? Ah, yes. | 1:07:58 | 1:08:00 | |
Extraordinary lengths. | 1:08:00 | 1:08:02 | |
Speech. Speech. | 1:08:02 | 1:08:03 | |
Let's talk about... | 1:08:03 | 1:08:05 | |
All of which is suggestive of... | 1:08:05 | 1:08:08 | |
Murder! Sorry, did I say murder? | 1:08:09 | 1:08:11 | |
I meant to say marriage. | 1:08:11 | 1:08:13 | |
But, you know, they're quite similar procedures, | 1:08:13 | 1:08:15 | |
when you think about it. | 1:08:15 | 1:08:17 | |
The participants tend to know each other | 1:08:17 | 1:08:19 | |
and it's over when one of them's dead. | 1:08:19 | 1:08:20 | |
In fairness, murder is a lot quicker though. Janine, what about this one? | 1:08:20 | 1:08:24 | |
Acceptably hot? More importantly, his girlfriend's wearing new uncomfortable underwear | 1:08:24 | 1:08:28 | |
and hasn't bothered to pick this thread off his jacket, or point out the grease smudge on his neck. | 1:08:28 | 1:08:32 | |
He's going home alone. Also he's a comics and sci-fi geek, | 1:08:32 | 1:08:35 | |
they're always tremendously grateful, really put the hours in. | 1:08:35 | 1:08:38 | |
Jeff, the gents. | 1:08:38 | 1:08:39 | |
Loos now, please. | 1:08:39 | 1:08:40 | |
-Greg. -The loos, please. -Why? | 1:08:40 | 1:08:43 | |
Oh, I don't know, maybe it's your TURN. | 1:08:43 | 1:08:46 | |
Yeah, actually, now you mention it. | 1:08:47 | 1:08:48 | |
Sherlock, any chance of a... An end date for this speech? | 1:08:48 | 1:08:51 | |
Got to cut the cake. | 1:08:51 | 1:08:52 | |
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, | 1:08:52 | 1:08:55 | |
can't stand it when I finally get the chance to speak for once. | 1:08:55 | 1:08:57 | |
Vatican cameos. | 1:08:57 | 1:08:59 | |
What did he say? What does that mean? | 1:08:59 | 1:09:01 | |
Battle stations. Someone's going to die. | 1:09:01 | 1:09:03 | |
What?! | 1:09:03 | 1:09:04 | |
Narrow it down. Narrow it down. | 1:09:05 | 1:09:08 | |
Narrow it down! | 1:09:09 | 1:09:11 | |
Argh! No, no! | 1:09:11 | 1:09:12 | |
Not you! | 1:09:12 | 1:09:14 | |
Not you! | 1:09:14 | 1:09:15 | |
You. It's always you. | 1:09:16 | 1:09:19 | |
John Watson, you keep me right. | 1:09:19 | 1:09:22 | |
What do I do? | 1:09:24 | 1:09:25 | |
You've already done it. | 1:09:25 | 1:09:27 | |
Don't solve the murder. | 1:09:27 | 1:09:29 | |
Save the life. | 1:09:29 | 1:09:30 | |
Sorry, off piste a bit. | 1:09:30 | 1:09:33 | |
Back now. Phew! | 1:09:33 | 1:09:34 | |
Let's play a game. Let's play murder. | 1:09:34 | 1:09:37 | |
Sherlock! | 1:09:38 | 1:09:39 | |
Imagine someone's going to get murdered at a wedding. | 1:09:39 | 1:09:42 | |
Who exactly would you pick? | 1:09:42 | 1:09:45 | |
You're a popular choice at the moment, dear. | 1:09:45 | 1:09:47 | |
If someone could move Mrs Hudson's glass just slightly out of reach, that would be lovely. | 1:09:47 | 1:09:51 | |
More importantly, who could you ONLY kill at a wedding? | 1:09:51 | 1:09:55 | |
Most people, you can kill any old place. | 1:09:56 | 1:09:58 | |
As a mental exercise, | 1:09:58 | 1:09:59 | |
I've often planned the murder of friends and colleagues. | 1:09:59 | 1:10:01 | |
Now, John, I'd poison. | 1:10:01 | 1:10:02 | |
Sloppy eater, dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds. | 1:10:02 | 1:10:06 | |
That way, he's never even noticed. | 1:10:06 | 1:10:07 | |
He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue. | 1:10:07 | 1:10:09 | |
Lestrade's so easy to kill, it's a miracle no-one's succumbed to the temptation. | 1:10:09 | 1:10:13 | |
I've got keys to my brother's house, I could break in and asphyxiate him, if the whim arose. | 1:10:13 | 1:10:17 | |
He's pissed, isn't he? Ow! | 1:10:17 | 1:10:19 | |
So, once again, | 1:10:19 | 1:10:20 | |
who could you only kill here? | 1:10:20 | 1:10:23 | |
Clearly, it's a rare opportunity, | 1:10:23 | 1:10:24 | |
so it's someone who doesn't get out much. | 1:10:24 | 1:10:26 | |
Someone for whom a planned social encounter, | 1:10:26 | 1:10:28 | |
known about months in advance, is an exception. | 1:10:28 | 1:10:30 | |
Has to be a unique opportunity. | 1:10:30 | 1:10:32 | |
And since killing someone in public is difficult, | 1:10:33 | 1:10:36 | |
killing them in private isn't an option. | 1:10:36 | 1:10:38 | |
Someone who lives in an inaccessible or unknown location, then. | 1:10:38 | 1:10:41 | |
Someone private, perhaps, | 1:10:41 | 1:10:43 | |
obsessed with personal security. | 1:10:43 | 1:10:45 | |
Possibly, someone under threat. | 1:10:46 | 1:10:48 | |
-Major James Sholto, who he? -I don't think he's coming. | 1:10:53 | 1:10:55 | |
He'll be there. | 1:10:55 | 1:10:56 | |
Where are you living these days? | 1:10:56 | 1:10:58 | |
Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere. | 1:10:58 | 1:11:00 | |
The press and families gave him hell. | 1:11:00 | 1:11:02 | |
He gets more death threats than you. | 1:11:02 | 1:11:04 | |
A recluse? | 1:11:05 | 1:11:07 | |
Small household staff. | 1:11:07 | 1:11:09 | |
-Job? -Gardener. -Cook. -Private nurse. -Maid. | 1:11:09 | 1:11:11 | |
High turnover for additional security. | 1:11:11 | 1:11:13 | |
-I do security work. -Probably all signed confidentiality agreements. | 1:11:13 | 1:11:16 | |
-Do you have a secret you've never told anyone? -ALL: No. | 1:11:16 | 1:11:19 | |
There is another question that remains. Rather a big one, | 1:11:19 | 1:11:21 | |
a huge one - how would you do it? How do you kill someone in public? | 1:11:21 | 1:11:24 | |
There has to be a way. This has been planned. | 1:11:24 | 1:11:26 | |
-Mr Holmes! -Hello, Archie, what's your theory? | 1:11:26 | 1:11:28 | |
Get this right and there's a headless nun in it for you. | 1:11:28 | 1:11:30 | |
-The invisible man could do it. -The who, what, why, when, where? | 1:11:30 | 1:11:33 | |
The invisible man with the invisible knife. The one who tried to kill the Guardsman. | 1:11:33 | 1:11:38 | |
Bainbridge? | 1:11:54 | 1:11:55 | |
Bainbridge! | 1:11:55 | 1:11:57 | |
(Oh, not just planned - planned and rehearsed.) | 1:12:04 | 1:12:08 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, | 1:12:08 | 1:12:10 | |
there will now be a short interlude. | 1:12:10 | 1:12:11 | |
The bride and groom... | 1:12:11 | 1:12:13 | |
-ALL: -The bride and groom. | 1:12:16 | 1:12:18 | |
Major Sholto's going to be murdered. I don't know how or by whom, but it's going to happen. | 1:12:18 | 1:12:22 | |
Excuse me, coming through. Consulting. | 1:12:22 | 1:12:24 | |
-Stay here. -Please be careful. -Excuse me. Coming through. | 1:12:24 | 1:12:29 | |
Excuse me. | 1:12:29 | 1:12:31 | |
I'm sorry, one more. Oops. I'm so sorry. | 1:12:31 | 1:12:34 | |
Thank you. | 1:12:34 | 1:12:35 | |
How can you not remember which room? You remember everything. | 1:13:00 | 1:13:03 | |
-I have to delete something! -207. | 1:13:03 | 1:13:06 | |
Major Sholto? Major Sholto! | 1:13:12 | 1:13:16 | |
-Major Sholto! -If someone's about to make an attempt on my life, | 1:13:17 | 1:13:21 | |
it won't be the first time. I'm ready. | 1:13:21 | 1:13:23 | |
-Major, let us in. -Kick the door down. | 1:13:23 | 1:13:25 | |
I really wouldn't. | 1:13:25 | 1:13:27 | |
I have a gun in my hand and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes. | 1:13:27 | 1:13:31 | |
You're not safe in there. Whoever's after you, we know a locked room doesn't stop him. | 1:13:31 | 1:13:34 | |
The invisible man with the invisible knife. | 1:13:34 | 1:13:36 | |
-I don't know how he does it. I can't stop him and that means he'll do it again! -Solve it, then! | 1:13:36 | 1:13:40 | |
I'm sorry? | 1:13:40 | 1:13:42 | |
You're the famous Mr Holmes. Solve the case, on you go. | 1:13:42 | 1:13:45 | |
Tell me how he did it and I'll open the door. | 1:13:45 | 1:13:48 | |
Please, this is no time for games, | 1:13:48 | 1:13:50 | |
just let us in, you're in danger! | 1:13:50 | 1:13:52 | |
So are you, so long as you're here. | 1:13:52 | 1:13:53 | |
Please, leave me. | 1:13:53 | 1:13:56 | |
Despite my reputation, I really don't approve of collateral damage. | 1:13:56 | 1:14:00 | |
-Solve it. -Sorry? -Solve it and he'll open the door, like he said. | 1:14:00 | 1:14:03 | |
-I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now? -Because it matters now. | 1:14:03 | 1:14:06 | |
-What are you talking about? Get your wife under control! -She's right. | 1:14:06 | 1:14:09 | |
-Oh, you've changed! -No, she is. Shut up! | 1:14:09 | 1:14:11 | |
You are not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. | 1:14:11 | 1:14:13 | |
You're a drama queen! | 1:14:13 | 1:14:14 | |
Now, there's a man in there about to die, the game is on - solve it! | 1:14:14 | 1:14:18 | |
Bainbridge? | 1:14:34 | 1:14:35 | |
Bainbridge! | 1:14:37 | 1:14:39 | |
-Though in fairness, he's a drama queen, too. -I know. | 1:14:42 | 1:14:45 | |
Major Sholto, no-one's coming to kill you. | 1:14:45 | 1:14:47 | |
I'm afraid you've already been killed several hours ago. | 1:14:47 | 1:14:50 | |
What did you say? | 1:14:50 | 1:14:51 | |
Don't take off your belt. | 1:14:51 | 1:14:52 | |
My belt? | 1:14:52 | 1:14:54 | |
His belt, yes. | 1:14:54 | 1:14:55 | |
Bainbridge was stabbed hours before we even saw him, | 1:14:55 | 1:14:57 | |
but it was through his belt. | 1:14:57 | 1:14:59 | |
Tight belt, worn high on the waist. | 1:14:59 | 1:15:00 | |
Very easy to push a small blade through the fabric | 1:15:00 | 1:15:03 | |
and you wouldn't even feel it. | 1:15:03 | 1:15:04 | |
The belt would bind the flesh together when it was tied tight. | 1:15:04 | 1:15:07 | |
-Exactly. -But when you took it off... -Delayed-action stabbing. | 1:15:07 | 1:15:09 | |
All the time in the world to create an alibi. Major Sholto? | 1:15:09 | 1:15:12 | |
So... | 1:15:12 | 1:15:14 | |
I was to be killed by my uniform. | 1:15:16 | 1:15:20 | |
How appropriate. | 1:15:20 | 1:15:22 | |
He solved the case, Major, | 1:15:24 | 1:15:26 | |
you're supposed to open the door now. A deal is a deal. | 1:15:26 | 1:15:29 | |
I'm not even supposed to have this any more. | 1:15:29 | 1:15:31 | |
They gave me special dispensation to keep it. | 1:15:31 | 1:15:33 | |
I couldn't imagine life out of this uniform. | 1:15:33 | 1:15:35 | |
I suppose, given the circumstances, I don't have to. | 1:15:35 | 1:15:38 | |
When so many want you dead, | 1:15:41 | 1:15:42 | |
it hardly seems good manners to argue. | 1:15:42 | 1:15:44 | |
Whatever you're doing in there, James, stop it, right now! | 1:15:49 | 1:15:53 | |
I will kick this door down! | 1:15:53 | 1:15:54 | |
Mr Holmes, you and I are similar, I think. | 1:15:54 | 1:15:57 | |
-Yes, I think we are. -There's a proper time to die, isn't there? | 1:15:57 | 1:16:00 | |
Of course there is. | 1:16:00 | 1:16:02 | |
And one should embrace it when it comes. | 1:16:02 | 1:16:05 | |
Like a soldier. | 1:16:05 | 1:16:06 | |
Of course one should, but not at John's wedding! | 1:16:06 | 1:16:09 | |
We wouldn't do that, would we, | 1:16:11 | 1:16:13 | |
you and me? | 1:16:13 | 1:16:15 | |
We would never do that to John Watson. | 1:16:15 | 1:16:18 | |
I'm going to break it down. | 1:16:23 | 1:16:25 | |
Wait, wait, wait, you won't have to. | 1:16:25 | 1:16:27 | |
I believe I am in need of medical attention. | 1:16:33 | 1:16:36 | |
I believe I'm your doctor. | 1:16:36 | 1:16:38 | |
Pretty good. | 1:16:54 | 1:16:56 | |
Just hold your nerve on your turning. | 1:16:56 | 1:16:58 | |
Why do we have to rehearse? | 1:16:58 | 1:17:00 | |
Because we are about to dance together in public | 1:17:00 | 1:17:02 | |
and your skills are appalling. | 1:17:02 | 1:17:04 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 1:17:04 | 1:17:05 | |
-Wow, you're a good teacher. -Hmm. | 1:17:05 | 1:17:07 | |
And you're a brilliant dancer. | 1:17:07 | 1:17:09 | |
Can I let you in on something, Janine? | 1:17:09 | 1:17:11 | |
Go on, then. | 1:17:11 | 1:17:12 | |
I love dancing, I've always loved it. | 1:17:12 | 1:17:15 | |
Seriously? | 1:17:15 | 1:17:16 | |
Watch out. | 1:17:16 | 1:17:17 | |
Oh! | 1:17:21 | 1:17:23 | |
Never really comes up in crime work, but, you know, | 1:17:23 | 1:17:26 | |
-I live in hope of the right case. -Oh, I wish you weren't... | 1:17:26 | 1:17:28 | |
whatever it is you are. | 1:17:28 | 1:17:32 | |
-I know. -Well, glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, | 1:17:32 | 1:17:34 | |
what with murderers running riot at my wedding. | 1:17:34 | 1:17:37 | |
One murderer... One nearly murderer. | 1:17:37 | 1:17:39 | |
Loves to exaggerate - you should try living with him. | 1:17:39 | 1:17:41 | |
Sherlock. | 1:17:41 | 1:17:43 | |
Got him for you. | 1:17:43 | 1:17:44 | |
Ah, the photographer, excellent. Thank you. | 1:17:44 | 1:17:48 | |
May I have a look at your camera? | 1:17:48 | 1:17:50 | |
Erm, what's this about? I was halfway home. | 1:17:50 | 1:17:53 | |
You should have driven faster. | 1:17:53 | 1:17:55 | |
Ah, yes. Yes! | 1:17:56 | 1:17:58 | |
Very good. | 1:17:58 | 1:18:00 | |
Now you see... Perfect. | 1:18:00 | 1:18:02 | |
What is? Are you going to tell us? | 1:18:02 | 1:18:05 | |
Try looking yourself. | 1:18:05 | 1:18:06 | |
Look for what? Is the murderer in these photographs? | 1:18:08 | 1:18:11 | |
It's not what's in the photographs, | 1:18:11 | 1:18:13 | |
it's what's not in them. Not in any of them. | 1:18:13 | 1:18:15 | |
Sherlock? | 1:18:15 | 1:18:16 | |
The showing-off thing, we've discussed it before... | 1:18:16 | 1:18:19 | |
There is always a man at a wedding who is not in any photograph, | 1:18:20 | 1:18:24 | |
who can go anywhere. | 1:18:24 | 1:18:26 | |
And even carry an equipment bag around with him if he likes. | 1:18:26 | 1:18:29 | |
And you never even see his face. | 1:18:29 | 1:18:31 | |
You only ever see... | 1:18:31 | 1:18:32 | |
The camera. | 1:18:41 | 1:18:42 | |
What are you doing? What is this? | 1:18:42 | 1:18:44 | |
Jonathan Small, today's substitute wedding photographer, | 1:18:44 | 1:18:46 | |
known to us as The Mayfly Man. | 1:18:46 | 1:18:48 | |
His brother was one of the raw recruits killed in that incursion. | 1:18:48 | 1:18:53 | |
Johnny sought revenge on Sholto, | 1:18:53 | 1:18:55 | |
worked his way through Sholto's staff, | 1:18:55 | 1:18:57 | |
found what he needed. | 1:18:57 | 1:18:59 | |
An invitation to a wedding. | 1:18:59 | 1:19:01 | |
The one time Sholto would have to be out in public. | 1:19:01 | 1:19:04 | |
So he made his plan and rehearsed the murder, | 1:19:04 | 1:19:08 | |
making sure of every last detail. | 1:19:08 | 1:19:12 | |
Brilliant, ruthless, | 1:19:24 | 1:19:25 | |
and, almost certainly, a monomaniac. | 1:19:25 | 1:19:27 | |
Though, in fairness, his photographs are actually quite good. | 1:19:27 | 1:19:30 | |
Everything you need is on that. | 1:19:30 | 1:19:32 | |
You probably ought to arrest him or something. | 1:19:32 | 1:19:35 | |
Do you always carry handcuffs? | 1:19:35 | 1:19:37 | |
-Down, girl. -Come on, quick. | 1:19:37 | 1:19:39 | |
It's not me you should be arresting, Mr Holmes. | 1:19:39 | 1:19:42 | |
Oh, I don't do the arresting. I just farm that out. | 1:19:42 | 1:19:44 | |
Sholto, he's the killer, not me. | 1:19:44 | 1:19:46 | |
I should have killed him quicker. | 1:19:46 | 1:19:49 | |
I shouldn't have tried to be clever. | 1:19:51 | 1:19:53 | |
You should have driven faster. | 1:19:54 | 1:19:56 | |
Right. | 1:20:06 | 1:20:07 | |
SOLO VIOLIN PLAYS | 1:20:09 | 1:20:12 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 1:21:15 | 1:21:17 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, just one last thing | 1:21:25 | 1:21:28 | |
before the evening begins properly. | 1:21:28 | 1:21:30 | |
Apologies for earlier. A crisis arose and was dealt with. | 1:21:30 | 1:21:33 | |
More importantly, however, | 1:21:33 | 1:21:35 | |
today we saw two people make vows. | 1:21:35 | 1:21:37 | |
I've never made a vow in my life | 1:21:37 | 1:21:39 | |
and, after tonight, I never will again. | 1:21:39 | 1:21:40 | |
So, here in front of you all, | 1:21:40 | 1:21:43 | |
my first and last vow. | 1:21:43 | 1:21:44 | |
Mary and John, | 1:21:45 | 1:21:47 | |
whatever it takes, | 1:21:47 | 1:21:49 | |
whatever happens, | 1:21:49 | 1:21:51 | |
from now on, | 1:21:51 | 1:21:53 | |
I swear I will always be there. | 1:21:53 | 1:21:55 | |
Always. | 1:21:55 | 1:21:57 | |
For all three of you. | 1:21:57 | 1:21:58 | |
Erm... Sorry, I mean... I mean, two of you. | 1:21:58 | 1:22:00 | |
All two of you. Both of you, in fact. I just miscounted. | 1:22:00 | 1:22:03 | |
Anyway, it's time for dancing. | 1:22:03 | 1:22:05 | |
Play the music again, please. Thank you. | 1:22:05 | 1:22:07 | |
OK, everybody, just dance, don't be shy. | 1:22:07 | 1:22:09 | |
Dancing, please. Very good. | 1:22:09 | 1:22:11 | |
Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting. | 1:22:11 | 1:22:14 | |
-Deduction? -Increased appetite... | 1:22:14 | 1:22:15 | |
-I'm starving. -Change of taste perception. | 1:22:15 | 1:22:17 | |
Oh, I chose this wine, but it's bloody awful! | 1:22:17 | 1:22:19 | |
You were sick this morning. | 1:22:19 | 1:22:21 | |
You assumed it was just wedding nerves. | 1:22:21 | 1:22:22 | |
You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. | 1:22:22 | 1:22:24 | |
-All the signs are there. -The signs? | 1:22:24 | 1:22:28 | |
The signs of three. | 1:22:28 | 1:22:30 | |
What? | 1:22:30 | 1:22:31 | |
Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test. | 1:22:31 | 1:22:33 | |
Well, the statistics for the first trimester are... | 1:22:35 | 1:22:38 | |
Shut up! | 1:22:38 | 1:22:39 | |
Just shut up. | 1:22:40 | 1:22:41 | |
Sorry. | 1:22:41 | 1:22:43 | |
How did he notice before me? | 1:22:43 | 1:22:45 | |
-I'm a bloody doctor. -It's your day off. -It's YOUR day off! | 1:22:45 | 1:22:47 | |
Stop. Stop panicking. | 1:22:47 | 1:22:48 | |
-I'm not panicking. -I'm pregnant, I'm panicking! -Don't panic. | 1:22:48 | 1:22:51 | |
None of you panic. | 1:22:51 | 1:22:53 | |
Absolutely no reason to panic. | 1:22:53 | 1:22:55 | |
-Oh, and you'd know, of course! -Yes, I would. You're already the best parents in the world, | 1:22:55 | 1:22:59 | |
-look at all the practise you've had. -What practise? | 1:22:59 | 1:23:01 | |
Well, you're hardly going to need me around, now that you've got a real baby on the way. | 1:23:01 | 1:23:05 | |
-Are you all right? -Yeah! | 1:23:13 | 1:23:15 | |
-Dance. -Hmm? -Both of you now, go, dance. | 1:23:21 | 1:23:24 | |
-We can't just stand here. People will wonder what we're talking about. -Right. | 1:23:24 | 1:23:27 | |
Well, what about you? | 1:23:27 | 1:23:28 | |
-Yeah, we can't all three dance, there are limits. -Yes, there are. -Ahem. | 1:23:28 | 1:23:32 | |
Come on, husband, let's go. | 1:23:32 | 1:23:34 | |
-This isn't a waltz, is it? -No. | 1:23:34 | 1:23:36 | |
Don't worry, I have been tutoring him. | 1:23:36 | 1:23:38 | |
He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains. Mrs Hudson came in one time. | 1:23:38 | 1:23:41 | |
I don't know how those rumours started! | 1:23:41 | 1:23:44 | |
# Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under | 1:23:48 | 1:23:52 | |
# Oh, what a night! | 1:23:52 | 1:23:54 | |
# Oh, what a night! | 1:23:56 | 1:24:00 | |
# Oh, I | 1:24:09 | 1:24:13 | |
# I got a funny feelin' when she walked | 1:24:13 | 1:24:17 | |
# In the room | 1:24:17 | 1:24:19 | |
# Hey, I | 1:24:19 | 1:24:21 | |
# As I recall it ended much too soon | 1:24:21 | 1:24:26 | |
# Oh, what a night | 1:24:28 | 1:24:31 | |
# Why'd it take so long to see the light? | 1:24:31 | 1:24:35 | |
# Seemed so wrong but now it seems so right | 1:24:35 | 1:24:40 | |
# What a lady, what a night | 1:24:40 | 1:24:44 | |
# Oh, I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder | 1:24:56 | 1:25:01 | |
# Spinnin' my head around and taking my body under | 1:25:01 | 1:25:05 | |
# Oh, what a night! | 1:25:05 | 1:25:08 | |
# Oh, what a night! | 1:25:09 | 1:25:13 | |
# Oh, what a night... # | 1:25:15 | 1:25:16 |