Episode 2 The Fear

This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting

DOG BARKS

From the chill down your neck

to the stain in your pants,

fear can do many things.

It can chill... THEY SCREAM

..thrill... SHE WAILS

-..and entertain...

-Oh, my God!

..which is precisely why we're here.

We've asked amateur film makers to send us their creepiest,

goriest, and freakiest short horror films

for your viewing pleasure.

Movies such as Saw and Evil Dead

both started out as shorts

before becoming multi-million dollar franchises.

So we're hoping to find the next horror master

worthy of a blood-curdling blockbuster.

MAN YELLS This is The Fear,

where who scares wins.

Oh, my God!

THUNDER RUMBLES, DOG BARKS

Welcome to the screaming room.

As a kid, many things scare you -

spiders, PE, weird Uncle Pete.

As an adult, it's pay-day loans, my waistline,

and still weird Uncle Pete.

But what scares an audience of horror fans?

Here they'll be watching a host of terrifying short films,

they'll vote for the scariest in this special cinema,

rigged with cameras to catch their every jump...

YELPING AND SCREAMING ..scream and cry.

So let's welcome back the horror fans tasked with rating our films...

..including London boys Antoine, Nick and Daniel,

who are using the competition to bring themselves closer.

Get the fuck out of here, mate.

Newly-dating Poppy and Joe.

It's very, very, very easy to scare Poppy.

SHE YELPS

Oh, my God, argh!

No! Stop it!

I think I'm a tougher scare than she is, definitely.

Bringing a philosophical spin to the experience

are nurses and besties Aaron and Michelle.

I want to be scared.

Then I'm left in a puddle of piss.

Yeah, sitting there in your own shit.

No, I wouldn't... No, it smells more.

And at two ends of the horror fan spectrum,

sisters Amelia and Grace.

I'm basically the person you don't want to sit next to

if you're going to watch a horror film.

SHE SCREAMS

Now you know why we're just in the middle on our own.

And film buffs Ash and Brad.

I think it's the hardest thing you can possibly pull off,

to genuinely scare someone.

I think you're going to jump today.

-If you jump before I do...

-Yep.

..you have to get my face tattooed on your arm.

I'll do it on my leg.

Remember, these little monsters

will be scoring the films on scariness alone

and all the films are under four minutes

and made by amateur film makers.

So onto the first film of the evening.

It's called Capture and was made by Kiefer McGinn

and Rachael Hegarty from Ireland.

She likes taking pictures of dandelions.

He likes making 3D dogs

and that is why it works.

Viewers at home, stop looking at Twitter for a second,

turn the lights off and get ready to get freaked out,

because it's show time!

Sh! Sh!

Lizzie?

Lizzie, wake up.

We're here.

Look.

LIZZIE YAWNS

SHE GASPS

Peter, it's perfect!

Wow.

Look at this place.

You like it?

I love it!

We finally have a home!

Hey, look what I found.

Whoa!

FLASH BULB POPS

FLASH BURSTS

FLASH BURSTS

Hello?

Who's there?

SHE SCREAMS

SHE WAILS

SHE HYPERVENTILATES

Lizzie, Lizzie, what's going on?

There's a woman in the corridor!

What?

Lizzie, Lizzie, calm...calm...

Calm down.

Calm... Calm down!

There's no-one, there's no-one there.

There's no-one. There's no-one there, OK?

See, there's no-one there.

Is the camera there?

It's right there.

How did it get there?

Lizzie...

You must be dreaming, all right?

Just go back to bed.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Peter?

Hang on, OK?

SHE MOUTHS SILENTLY

SCREAM

HE EXCLAIMS

Peter!

SHE WHIMPERS

SHE SHRIEKS

What do you want?!

-You!

-SHE SCREAMS

No! No!

Stop, please!

No! No!

No-o-o-o-o-o!

CREDIT MUSIC PLAYS

"What do you want?!"

-BOTH:

-"You!"

Move into a new house and get murdered on your first night.

Good old Irish hospitality at its best there,

but did it scare the craic out of that lot?

They're scoring all films on a scariness scale of one to ten.

At the end of the competition,

Blair Witch Project's co-director Eduardo Sanchez

will view the three scariest films and pick the ultimate winner.

He'll take that lucky director a step closer to Hollywood

with £20,000 worth of support

for their next fright-fest.

So, did our first film of the night capture the audience's heart?

-It was scary.

-That film there, that was top notch, to be fair.

I had a brief look around during the film

and noticed that people were really on the edge of their seats.

This film had quite a few jumps.

-Oh!

-Oh!

It made me jump, like, four times,

so I thought it was really scary.

WOMAN SCREAMING

Oh, my God!

The big old country house in the middle of nowhere was

certainly classic horror film fodder.

I would never live in an old mansion because...you're asking for trouble.

If the poltergeist doesn't get you, the heating bills will.

I know. We're finally home.

Oh, it's perfect! And then, I'm, like,

"Who the fuck buys a house without consulting their wife nowadays?"

Exactly.

-Who's there?

-WOMAN SCREAMING

If I went for a weekend away with Joe, I'd make sure

-he's the one that dies.

-Wow.

You know, you've got to look after yourself.

Ah, who said romance is dead? Probably Joe, that's who.

Still, if you're going to get tormented and brutally murdered

by an evil entity, there's solace in a familiar face.

You.

I think the ghost in that film

definitely looked like Marilyn Manson.

It was disgusting, to be fair.

No offence to Marilyn Manson.

The lady looked a little bit like Amelia, going to be honest here.

-I mean it in a nice way.

-Is there a nice way to go about that?

MEOW! Moving on.

Capture seemed to make an impression with our cinemagoers,

but was it enough to net a place on the competition leaderboard?

Stay with us, because we'll be revealing all the scores

at the end of the show.

# La, la, la, la, la-la-la. #

Our next film is called Chestwyrm

and was directed by teacher Gary Rogers.

It really makes you wonder what kind of education our kids are getting

when you see what's on their teachers' minds.

Be warned, the following film contains scenes of a graphic nature.

ALARM BLARES

It's been three months since I left this shithole.

Three fucking months.

HE COUGHS

HE COUGHS AND RETCHES

I can't leave.

Every time I get close, it stops me.

HE COUGHS AND SPITS

It can fucking hear what I'm thinking.

What are you? Why are you keeping me here?!

I want out of here.

I hate this fucking thing.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I went crazy after the first week

and now...

Now, I'm just praying for it all to end.

One way or another, I'm going to die in here.

Yeah! Do you like that, eh?

You like that, you fucker?!

CREATURE SCREECHES

It doesn't matter that I'm dying.

I'm out of that thing.

Squashed...

but free at last.

-Oh, my God.

-HE LAUGHS

-Oh, my God.

-That was gross!

-That was so gross.

-That was so gory.

You almost died in that one.

HE WHIMPERS

Wow. That was probably the goriest film

we've had in the competition so far

and with reactions that good, it would be rude not to see them again.

So, here's Michelle and her popcorn slowly becoming one.

Ah! AHHH!

Poppy turning into an "Oh, my God" gif, or jif, or whatever.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

And Amelia doing...I don't know.

What is he? Is that a worm?!

I'd say, yes, Amelia, that was a worm.

And while all that was going on, this is how Ash reacted.

HE LAUGHS

That sicko looked like he was in the Adam Sandler matinee next door

and that's why we like him.

I'll never unsee what I witnessed on that screen. It was disgusting.

SHE STAMMERS

Do you just want a second to gather yourself a little bit?

I'm going to be sick!

But if Chestwyrm had our audience feeling rank,

spare a thought for the film's lead character.

Yeah, at the beginning of the film, you do wonder if he's just hungover

and he's had a bit of a mental night, don't you?

I've certainly woken up on numerous occasions feeling as bad as he did.

I really felt for him, like, I wanted to give him a hug.

He had a really nice voice as well, which helped.

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Hold on, who had the nice voice?

In amongst all the blood and worm guts, Amelia missed the twist,

but in fairness, she wasn't alone.

There was a twist? Did you get it?

-I'm asking you, did you two get the twist?

-What was the twist?

Now I'm just praying for it all to end.

I had a feeling early on, maybe this first person voice we're hearing

is actually something inside him.

When the twist arrives that it's actually the worm

inside the guy who's narrating and that's why he wants to get out,

I thought that was a really, really good twist.

Squashed, but free at last.

-Oh, yeah, the little worm. Oh.

-Oh!

The worm was the voice!

Ew! The worm had such a good-looking voice.

So it had twists and worms, but did it deliver on the fear front?

Chestwyrm is actually a pretty great short film.

Films I've watched at home have never made me react that way.

(I'm going to be sick!)

I actually can't stop thinking about this film.

It's still in my mind, so I think that's a good sign,

cos it shocked us.

Well, we'll be seeing later whether Chestwyrm's shock and gore tactics

were enough for it to wriggle its way into contention.

Our next film tonight, Visitation, promises to be short,

but hopefully not very sweet.

Directed by 22-year-old Welsh YouTuber Sam Evans,

who works in a tiny room.

We must warn you, this one is very dark, so turn the lights down,

don't adjust the volume and keep your eyes locked to the screen.

HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYS

SILENCE

EERIE MUSIC

SCREAMING IN CINEMA

Are you all right? Do you just need a moment to gather yourself now?

That one actually made me jump.

Incredibly simple yet remarkably effective,

like a windmill or a kick to the nuts.

But did Visitation's little visitor fire up the fear in our audience?

For me personally, that's my type of film. I like the simplicity.

There's not much going on, so your brain's really doing

the working of what's going to happen next.

So when it did happen...

SCREAMING

..it was like, "OK, boom, bam."

-You wasn't scared this time?

-No, I wasn't scared.

-You didn't flinch?

-No, of course.

-I felt something, but OK. Yeah.

Then again, obviously, I wasn't scared,

cos, then again, I was sneezing.

Eh, bruv.

I thought it was going to absolutely terrify me.

I was on edge on the basis of the name.

That kind of started to tap into my whole alien fear.

Oh, fuck.

It's going to be aliens.

But I was pretty happy when it turned out to be demons,

cos I didn't want to look stupid on telly when I started to cry.

I thought something was going to happen at the door,

and then when that face just came up right in front, I mean...

Oh, wow.

-SHE SCREAMS

-Oh!

HE LAUGHS

Ah, yes - the creature.

A little cutie as far as I'm concerned, but then...I have issues.

The monster looked like a Freddy Krueger head,

but it was still good.

It was a good head.

It was a little bit like a rotting demon boner.

THEY LAUGH

Right.

Rotting demon boners aside,

could this basic beauty of a movie prove to be a game-changer?

SCREAMING

This film definitely made me

think more about what's needed for a film to be scary,

because this was so simple, no dialogue, one take,

and it was probably the scariest one.

-Yeah.

-Oh, it was so scary.

You know it's coming, but it still gets you.

So Visitation left our audience jumpier than a cricket on a campfire,

but did it do enough to earn a place on the leaderboard?

Find out at the end of the show.

Yeah, mate.

I need some more popcorn.

-Want some popcorn?

-Yes. No, I've got some.

Amelia, really? Seriously? Amelia, please.

-OK, it's just popcorn.

-Amelia!

-AMELIA LAUGHS

-Stop it.

My ice gems are all gone.

Remember, this competition isn't just about scaring you for fun.

The three films that terrify our audience the most

will be shown to Blair Witch co-director Eduardo Sanchez,

who will choose one to win £20,000 worth of support.

That would be bellissimo news to the maker of our final film tonight.

It's Federico Sfascia from Italia.

Federico appears to live in a dark attic with his cats,

drawings of girls and his Doctor Who notebook.

Well, film geeks are the same all over the world.

And trust me, it takes one to know one.

Anyway, here's his film - D.S.

-I don't think...

-Oh...

-Dun-dun-dun-dun!

-Heee!

You know this cinema is haunted, right?

GLASS SHATTERS

PHONE RINGS

PHONE BEEPS

PHONE RINGS

Is this a comedy?

PHONE BEEPS

PHONE RINGS

RINGING CONTINUES

PHONE BEEPS

HE SCREAMS

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

CACKLING

HE SCREAMS

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

CACKLING

CLATTERING

HE LAUGHS

BEEPING

CACKLING

PHONE BEEPS

CACKLING

Oh, my God!

That was so bizarre!

That was my favourite one. That was my actual favourite.

Of course it was your favourite one. It panders to all your tastes.

-I know!

-Juvenile idiot.

-The film or me?

-Both.

Juvenile and idiotic!

Not a great three-word review, but did the rest of the audience agree?

Demon Sitter, what was this?

It was like a piece of art and at the same time, it was a mess.

I loved it so much!

I don't know what it was meant to be.

I hope it was meant to be funny,

because I laughed my arse off all the way through it.

I was like, "Ah!"

I've never seen her so happy

after the end of a film that's supposed to scare you!

I just loved it, I want to watch it again and again.

Yes, fun to watch, but would you be comfortable

telling those demon critters it's bedtime at eight?

I don't think I'd ever want to babysit Satan's babies

and I hope I never have to!

I thought they were cute in a way.

Ratty little things.

It's kind of cuddly.

As long as it didn't bite your tongue out.

Ooh!

Have you ever had a bad kisser like that? All tongue?

Washing machine.

Spin cycle.

I wouldn't mind some demons looking after me!

-I'd quite like that.

-What'd you feed them though?

Meat, probably. Ask Satan.

I ain't got his number.

It made me chuckle so much.

I think I liked it because it was different.

That is everything I love about the horror comedy genre. It's superb.

I'm pretty sure that DS notched up more LOLs than scares,

so I'm intrigued to see how that rates for fear factor,

and with tonight's final scores in,

it's time to take a look at all the films to see how they scored.

So, in fourth place is critter comedy DS.

If you're watching, film-maker, I adored your film,

but it just wasn't scary and that's what we're judging it on.

Next up, in third, is Visitation.

I don't think it made me very scared.

I just think it made me jump because it was so...in your face.

So, who finished top? The one with the worm or the one with the camera?

In at 2, it's Chestwyrm.

I don't think I've ever been

affected by a gory film like that, ever.

Which makes Capture our scariest film of the night.

I think Capture is quite a strong contender for being able

to win this competition.

So, in the overall top three, What It Wants is out,

and with a score of 6.9,

Capture sits pretty at number 2.

So, congratulations to Capture, but for how long?

Will it still be there after next week's terrifying treats?

Coming soon...

This was weird.

It was really unnecessary!

That is just evil.

Oh, my God!

I didn't see it coming, no.

-What would you have done?

-Weed myself.

Jesus Christ!

Wow.

The audience lost their minds.

What? What is that?

Until then, sleep tight.