The Eye of the Needle White Heat

Last night, it never happened. I can't have it.

We'll find another way.

You've never taken me seriously, have you?

She stands up for what she believes in.

When was the last time you did that, Jack?

I've applied for selection as the Labour candidate in the by-election.

I feel like the person I'm supposed to be.

Took your time getting there.

She just won't stay on her medication.

Can her doctor not do something?

Short of sectioning her again and I can't let that happen.

It's such a load to carry on your own.

What if it's not enough for her? You know, me, marriage.

I'm hoping that once we have our own home, we have a family,

that it will be enough.

The police pulled Victor up on a stop and search.

They found cocaine in your car. You have to go there, Jack, put it right.

If I do, I'm screwed.

I suggest you make a call

and resign your candidacy before the press get hold of it.

-Dad.

-I've heard it all before.

-So, you're flying solo?

-I'm so done with all that.

Never say never.

This programme contains some strong language

'Mark Thatcher, the Prime Minister's son is reported missing

'in the Sahara desert, while taking part in an international motor race.

'It's yet another blow for the beleaguered Prime Minister

'who only recently was voted

'one of the most unpopular prime ministers in history.'

DOORBELL RINGS

Thanks for doing this.

Yeah, well, I'm doing this for you, not him.

You came, thank God.

After the drugs charge, when he lost his candidacy,

never picked himself up after it.

He just wasn't the same Jack.

-Before it was cocaine and now he's started mixing it with heroin.

-What?

Why the hell didn't you tell us before?

We didn't put it together at first,

and then we didn't realise how bad it was till it was too late.

I came home from work last week and he was rolling around on the floor,

shouting about headaches and cramp,

so I gave him some aspirin, put him into bed.

When I went to check on him, I couldn't wake him.

He got blood poisoning,

dirty needle or whatever crap his dealer uses to cut the heroin.

We took him to the hospital, they pumped him full of antibiotics

and methadone and then just turfed him out.

He was back on heroin the next day.

So, what is it you want us to do exactly?

-Help us detox him.

-Isn't a rehab unit the best place for that?

He refuses point blank to go there,

-says their petty rules remind him of boarding school.

-Very Jack.

Is this what he wants? He really wants to get off it?

Yeah, between hits, when he can think straight.

We need to keep him re-hydrated and moving,

but not out the flat, not for any excuse.

And there'll be plenty of those.

One foot outside this flat,

he'll go straight back to his dealer and score.

What's the street price of heroin these days?

Ow. What? Well, it's got to set him back a bit, hasn't it?

Valium for the panic attacks Anti-nausea.

How long will it take?

Two weeks, give or take.

Those who can should take time off work.

It's best to have two of us here, if things get volatile.

-Well, we might need to contain him.

-What? Lock him up?

Whatever it takes.

If you're not up for it, just say.

-No-one's saying that, Orla.

-No, of course not.

It's a big ask, that's all.

Shouldn't his family pitch in?

His father cut off all ties after the drugs bust.

There is no-one.

Don't we owe him this? All of us.

Dear God, without him, you wouldn't have even met.

Or are we just forgetting that?

Jack.

-Jack.

-Jack.

-Watch his head.

'London time last night...

'..the Argentinian cruiser, General Belgrano, was...'

Didn't we say we'd start on a Monday?

We start today, Jack, as agreed.

Yeah, but Monday is the first day of a working week.

It makes no sense to start on a Sunday.

I can score one more hit and then we'll get down to it.

First thing tomorrow morning, I'll get down...

Charlie, Charlie, you're with me on this, right?

-Charlie?

-OK, I can do Tuesday afternoon,

so we just need cover up until then.

I've got something on tomorrow, but you can do it, can't you, Alan?

Aye, aye, put us down for the first shift.

Me too.

I might be OK for later in the week, Wednesday or Thursday.

Stay, Lilly. Orla's made up a bed for us.

Right. Well, let me come with you tomorrow.

Somebody can cover here a few hours, it's fine.

I prefer... I prefer going on my own anyway, you know that.

Come here.

One day, we'll see this for what it is.

Bad patch.

Hey?

We'll beat this yet, you'll see.

OK, Jack, I'm here.

My head's just not there yet, Jay.

You said my head had to be, my head had to be in the right place.

One more hit. Where's the harm in one more hit?

Shh, shh.

Shh. Hold still, eh?

How the wives and mothers feel

seeing their men going off to the Falklands.

Is it a just cause, defending British citizens,

or the last gasp of a dying empire?

And I want a profile piece on Shirley Williams for the second segment,

a year after quitting Labour for the SDP, regrets, highs, lows.

A WOMAN SOBS

Excuse me.

You're scaring me, Lilly.

What's happened?

Tell me.

All those years,

all that aggro we went through trying to get the pill.

It never crossed my mind I wouldn't be able to get pregnant

when I were ready.

I just assumed.

That were the only pregnancy I'll ever have.

A doctor told you that?

So, see another one, get a second opinion.

That was the second opinion.

Or the fourth, I've lost count.

It's called Asherman's Syndrome.

It's when an abortion damages the womb.

Isn't there something they can do? Operate?

It's too risky.

The scarring's too bad.

I was prepared to take the risk, but...

-Alan still doesn't know?

-Only that I've a problem conceiving.

Not why.

This was, like, a point on the horizon to fix on.

Something I could aim for.

It's like a light's gone out, Charlie.

Do you hate him for it?

Jack.

Takes two.

-Stay, don't go like this.

-No, I-I'm fine, I'll call.

Wait, I'll come with you.

Lilly!

# Spilling up pink silk and coffee lace

# You hook me up I rendezvous at your place

# Your lipstick and your lip gloss. #

MUSIC STOPS

There's other places we can go to, you know.

What's his name, the one in Manchester?

The one who did the test-tube baby.

It's over.

We'll try other alternatives. There's adoption, maybe.

You always said that you couldn't love a child that wasn't yours.

No, no.

I want what you want, Lilly.

And if it's a baby...

What about when it's not a baby any more?

When it's a stroppy teenager with a mind of its own.

Well, I'll have learnt to love it by then.

Love like that's not something you learn.

It's something you give.

Unconditionally.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come here. Come here. Shh.

We can still have a good life, me and you, Lil.

We can do things that couples with kids can't do, you know.

Travel and...

We'll be free.

Houston, we have a problem.

Ah! There's my precious girl.

I came home from work and she'd camped out on the doorstep, waiting.

I need to be near a television set at all times,

things are moving so fast now.

Oh, I need a radio for the World Service, a shortwave one,

and some pens.

Mum, where are your pills?

Your pills, where are they?

I'm taking a break from them, dear.

Someone has to keep a log of the Argentinian casualties.

You can't trust them to tell us.

368 died on the Belgrano.

And all we hear about are the 20 who died on the Sheffield.

They talk about a proportionate response,

how is that a proportionate response?

Either every human life is of value or it isn't.

This brings back memories.

Days of yore, when we were students.

When did you and I ever do this as students?

In here we did.

And much more.

God only knows what she's doing down there.

What's one more cuckoo in the nest?

How about I do your shift here tomorrow?

You can sort out your mum.

What about work?

I'm not in court until the day after, so...

This thing with Lilly,

you think it's the biological clock they're on about?

That she left it too late.

Maybe it's time we got our own show on the road in that department.

What if it's a trade-off?

A woman becomes a mother, she puts her child's needs before her own.

That's what we're programmed to do, that's the deal.

What if it means everything I can still achieve gets lost?

I get lost.

Like that poem, not waving, but drowning.

Well,

you won't be in it alone...

..because I'll be right there with you.

I'll be your life raft.

'Further air operations were also conducted

'over the Falkland Islands today.

'The Vulcan attack on Port Stanley airfield this morning

'was successful and all the aircraft involved returned safely.

'In the case of Sea Harrier attacks,

'one of our aircraft was shot down. The pilot has been killed.

'His name will be announced after confirmation has been received

'that his next of kin have been informed.

'All the other Sea Harriers returned safely.

'Elsewhere, Argentinian aircraft have been intersected...'

Ah!

I need some gear.

Yes, now.

When? When tomorrow?

No, no.

I'll come to you.

Guilty.

CAR DOOR SLAMS

ENGINE STARTS

CRUNCH OF GRAVEL

The manic phase is hard enough,

when she crashes into the depression.

And now she has this thing about the Falklands.

Obsessions are a common symptom with manic depression.

-The chemical imbalance in her brain means...

-I know what it means, I've had to deal with it long enough.

I just can't hold down a job and watch her 24 hours a day any more.

I can't do it.

I need you to help me get her admitted again.

Get her back on the medication,

I can pretty well cope with her when she's on it.

You're her doctor, they'll have to listen to you, won't they?

I'm sorry, Miss Pugh.

There's an embargo now on all voluntary psychiatric admissions.

It's part of a new mental health policy from the government.

All long-term mental hospitals are to be closed,

all patients relocated to hostels or at home.

"Care in the Community" - that's what they're calling it.

Then she'll have to be sectioned,

so it's not a voluntary admission.

They can only do that if she's a threat to herself or others.

So, what? We wait till she cuts her wrists again

or takes another overdose?

Is there no-one in your family that can help you?

My brothers say their own families are their priority.

Apparently, caring is women's work.

She pulled the ladder up after her, didn't she?

Thatcher.

I didn't see that coming.

Sorry to waste your time.

MUSIC: "Chant No 1" by Spandau Ballet

# I checked the time It was almost time

# A curious smell An intangible crime

# I'm washing my clothes But the stain still grows

# Cover your eyes The stain still shows

# I feel the graze against my skin

# I feel the graze against my skin

# I know this feeling is... #

Argh.

HE LAUGHS

# There's a guilt within my mind

# There is a motion in my arms

# Oh, I should... #

How can I help, Mrs Harper?

-I'd like to start my own business.

-Hm.

-What sort of business would that be?

-Greeting cards.

Erm...

Oh, sorry, sorry.

I've applied for an Enterprise Allowance.

Put some costs together.

I need a loan of £3,000 for three months to get started.

That'll buy a print run of 1,500 to produce 12,000 cards

from my own designs I did at art college.

I need to research current trends, of course.

I'm aiming for the high end of the market, though,

big department stores, er, independent art and gift shops.

Have you approached any of them?

Secured any potential orders?

Well, without any finished cards to show them...

It's chicken and egg, isn't it? Catch 22.

We're not in the habit of handing out unsecured loans, Mrs Harper.

This is the enterprise culture everyone's on about, is it?

We would need collateral, your house, for example.

You'll need your husband's support for that, obviously.

Obviously.

Excuse me.

HE LAUGHS

HE MUTTERS TO HIS COLLEAGUE

-Three grand.

-Three grand?

-THEY LAUGH

Oh, no, don't say it.

The flat door was locked.

We thought he was in his room.

Look, he can't have gone far, his car's right...

Go into the kitchen, Mum.

Do you think we should get Jay back to check on him?

Let him sleep it off first.

Orla, is there a key for this room?

There might be a spare bunch in the kitchen, let's see.

It's for the loan.

To pay the printer for the first run

and once it's paid off and I'm up and running...

Have you seen the interest rate on this?

I went to four banks, Alan.

Each and every one laughed me out of court.

That was the best deal I could get and I had to beg to get that.

Do you need that many cards, Lilly?

The more you print, the cheaper it is, that's just how it works.

I'll do the folding and stuffing of envelopes, to keep costs down.

12,000 cards.

I mean, we should all live so bloody long.

What if we can't pay back the loan? We'd lose the house.

-Forget it!.

-Hey, no, don't be like that.

-No, you're right, it's a daft idea.

-Don't be like that.

No, I just...I don't understand the rush.

Lilly, it's a big step.

We are what we are, Alan.

Waiting won't change anything.

Oh.

Look, you start at that new school next term.

You're going to be working all day,

-I don't know how you're going to find time to...

-I called them.

-What?

I called them, told them I'm quitting teaching.

I'm not spending every day surrounded by kids, Alan, I'm not.

ALAN SIGHS

Right. We need to get a phone in here.

And if you can set up that computer?

I hope I did the right thing calling you.

He's still pretty much out of it.

Thanks.

Can you hear me?

Jack?

On my way here, I was...

..thinking how all this started.

This...this estrangement between us.

When you were little,

everybody called you Daddy's boy.

Drove your mother mad.

"He only has eyes for you," she used to say.

You always used to wait for me at the front door when I got home.

Always.

Without fail.

But then you went away to school...

..and it was me who was waiting at the door.

But it wasn't the same child who came back.

No.

It was an angry, little stranger.

Was I to blame for that?

Was I to blame for sending you away to school?

It never did me any harm.

And then, later, when you were a teenager, you were doing

what all kids do, you were finding your own way and...

..and I thought that challenging me was part of that

and that you'd pull through it.

All I could feel was the...

..loss of that little boy who used to wait for me.

I could feel his absence, even in your presence.

That was when it started, wasn't it?

Our war of attrition.

The day I drove you to that bloody school.

The wrong turns you've taken since I've...

..driven you there too.

I do want to help you through this, Jack.

Please.

Let me.

DOOR SHUTS

-I'll come by again tomorrow, when he's feeling more himself.

-JACK SOBS

If you need anything, in the meantime...

Thank you.

'You want me to be your mole?

'Well, that's good.

'I did it for you!

'I think we both know why you did it, Jack.

'Look in the mirror, Jack. Look! Loyalty has nothing to do with it.'

'There is only one loser around here.

'It's because you feel, you get so angry.

'What's the proof of it?

'I've never met anybody so full of pre-digested crap as you.'

'If I needed further proof of my total irrelevance to you,

'today was it.

'Whatever this pitiful excuse for a relationship is, it's over.

'What was it you said in your interview?

'About being defined by moral values.

'I'm here, aren't I?'

'You hesitated, Jack. You hesitated.

'You hesitated. You hesitated.'

JACK SOBS

I don't want Victor seeing me like this.

Orla's taken him to the station, he's gone to Toxteth.

Group action from the riots, police misconduct.

Reading them the riot act, knowing him.

The best man won, didn't he?

You chose well.

Jack?

Everything I touch turns to shit, Charlie.

That's not true.

Name one thing, one fucking thing I've not screwed up!

Losing you is top of the bloody list.

It was always a fire-fighting operation...

..you and your demons.

I thought if I just hung in long enough...

But you're the only one who can beat them, Jack.

This hell that you're going through now,

maybe this is what it takes to make you see that.

And the hell I've put the others through? The damage I have done!

I'm worthless.

Worthless, useless,

-pointless, rubbish piece of shit that I am!

-Don't say that.

I want out of this shit of a life! I want out! I want out!

-Jack!

-Worthless, worthless fucking piece of shit!

Stop it, stop it, Jack.

-I just want out of this fucking life!

-Jack! Stop it! Stop it!

-This fucking...

-Jack!

-Fuck!

-Stop, stop it!

-I want out of this shit of a life.

-Jack, stop it! Jack, stop it!

-Stop it!

-Fuck.

Mum?

Mum!

Mum?

Right, that's 9,225.

'The Battle of the Falklands was a remarkable military operation.

'Boldly planned, bravely executed

'and brilliantly accomplished.

'We owe an enormous debt to the British forces

'and to the Merchant Marine.

'We honour them all.

'They have been supported by a people,

'united in defence of our way of life

'and of our sovereign territory.'

From a nation of dissenters

to flag-waving nationalists in one leap.

Some conjuring trick.

Someone's feeling better.

Still no news?

I'll take her stuff, while I'm here.

Stay, eat with us.

Victor's waiting for me.

I had the weirdest dream the other night.

We were back together, you and me.

Blast from the past, eh?

If Mum turns up or anything...

You'll be the first to know.

Charlie. You dropped this.

Could she be here?

Oh, God.

MUSIC: "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?" by Culture Club

# Everything is not what you see It's over again

# Do you really...? #

MUSIC STOPS

BIRD SQUAWKS

-BANG! Oh, my God.

-Shh.

SHOUTING

You must evacuate the area!

You have five minutes to clear the area.

WHISTLES BLOW

Leave immediately!

WOMAN SCREAMS

You must evacuate the area!

# We shall overcome... #

Mum!

Mum!

Come on, Mum.

-Get off her!

-Argh!

There we are.

I'm so sorry.

What I put you through.

I'm no good to anyone, myself or anyone else, am I?

We're none of us perfect.

SHE SIGHS

You tried forcing it, yeah?

Tried and failed.

Won't the key be with the door keys?

If we knew where they were. The police had to force their way in.

So...

you two still based down in Florida?

Most summers, we're here or France.

-We have a place near Nice now.

-All right for some.

So, life in Edinburgh, you're running a bookshop there?

Yeah. My customers call me Mr Singh.

Consultant surgeons are the only doctors allowed to be called mister.

I never got that far, did I?

Orla wrote to us,

-about the civil thing that you had.

-Marriage is the word.

Or is that a dirty word when applied to the likes of me?

-I was going to say congratulations.

-I think we have lift-off.

Where'd you find those?

In the study.

-Nah.

-It's not going to give up its secrets easily, is it?

Want a hand?

Victor was talking to Alan at lunch.

Apparently, his marriage didn't work out. He's divorced.

And you're telling me this because...?

Oh, yes, right, I see.

Because you think that, after all these years,

we might be in for a touching rapprochement?

Nice try.

Tell me, does it make it easier punishing me rather than yourself?

If so, knock yourself out.

'This evening, he carried his son out into the world.

'It was only a shabby street behind Paddington Station,

'but, tonight, it was the focus of world attention.

'Just the top corner of the heir apparent was visible,

'his parents were the only...'

Thanks for coming.

So, your card business is taking off?

More than I dared hope.

But you didn't get me here to talk about that, did you?

You're the last person I should be telling this to.

But you're the first person I thought of.

I'm pregnant.

I thought you were on the pill?

I missed a couple.

Our mercy mission with Jack.

Forgot to double up.

Oh, no, not Jack.

I was afraid you'd be angry.

Or hate me.

Or both.

You're better than that, I know.

Does Victor know?

My first thought was abort it.

But what if it's Victor's?

Then I thought, "Maybe I only want to get rid of it because I'm scared."

Scared of what?

If I have it, I'll disappear.

I won't be me.

I asked the doctor at the clinic if there was a...

prenatal test they could do before it was born, which can tell the...

-The race.

-The paternity.

They'll only do tests like that when there's a genetic risk

of a condition incompatible with life.

If I tell Victor, I'll lose him.

I mean, it's Jack, isn't it?

Tell him it's someone else's.

It's not just one lie in one conversation, is it?

I'd have to live with it for a lifetime.

What sort of person would that make me?

DOOR OPENS

Man of the house is home!

Where's that fatted calf?

I need to talk to you about something.

Hmm. Sounds ominous?

Can you just sit down, please?

MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH

If not mine, then who?

You were up north on a case.

There was a party after the studio, one night.

I had too much to drink and I...

Someone you work with?

It could still be yours.

-There's no way of knowing until...

-It's born

and we see what colour it is.

What we have isn't enough for you, is it?

Yes.

It was just...

..a moment of weakness.

What we have is more than I ever hoped for.

It's more than I deserve.

LILLY SIGHS

Be West Ham. Niggers always go for West Ham.

Not got the bloody sense they was born with. Ha.

What did you call me?

What's up, Sambo? West Ham lost again, have they?

THEY LAUGH

Argh.

Argh.

What happened to you?

A moment of weakness.

Is this it for us, Victor?

-Cheers!

-Your so-called best friend cuts you out of her life for years,

what do you expect? A red carpet?

-I had no choice.

-I have to move on.

-What does a special adviser do?

-The ghosts in the political machine, the power behind the throne.

-Motherhood?

-Best thing that's ever happened to me.

Truth be told, I've got you all here under false pretences.

You go, leave someone else to pick up the pieces after you as usual.

A trick I never quite mastered.

I'm a surgeon, it's what I do.

For fuck's sake, say something!

Have you any idea of the damage you've done?

She doesn't deserve you.

I'll need authorisation before I can touch it.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd