Yn y Canol ‹ O'r Galon

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-# As my Dad shrieks and my Mum weeps	0:00:29	0:00:33
-# Run to Mum to make her smile	0:00:34	0:00:37
-# Trying to keep peace all the while	0:00:38	0:00:42
-# Ooh ooh	0:00:43	0:00:46
-# Run to Dad to stem his rage	0:00:47	0:00:51
-# Run to brother -who stares at the wall	0:00:51	0:00:56
-# But he tends to say nothing at all	0:00:56	0:01:00
-# Ooh	0:01:00	0:01:02
-# It's just piggy in the middle me #	0:01:02	0:01:05
-I began composing when I was seven.	0:01:06	0:01:09
-My first song was "Second Best".	0:01:09	0:01:11
-It's about feeling you're not -good enough to do things.	0:01:12	0:01:16
-I'd just turned ten I think.	0:01:16	0:01:18
-My next song was "Yn Y Canol". -It's about Mam and Dad splitting up.	0:01:19	0:01:24
-# Daddy, Daddy, please don't go	0:01:25	0:01:29
-# Let us be the family that I know	0:01:29	0:01:33
-# Please make up #	0:01:34	0:01:36
-When I feel sad, it helps -to get the emotions out in songs.	0:01:36	0:01:40
-Writing about my feelings has helped -a lot during my parents' divorce.	0:01:40	0:01:46
-# Let us be the family that I know #	0:01:46	0:01:49
-When people hear "Piggy -In The Middle", they feel sad.	0:01:50	0:01:54
-They say, "Why did you write that? -Why do you feel so sad?"	0:01:55	0:02:00
-I explain it to them, -then they understand.	0:02:00	0:02:03
-I began to see that the situation -between Mam and Dad wasn't normal...	0:02:05	0:02:10
-..when I was about three or four.	0:02:10	0:02:12
-When I went to see friends, their -parents sat and had meals together.	0:02:12	0:02:17
-Our parents didn't do that.	0:02:17	0:02:19
-I'm Hero Douglas.	0:02:23	0:02:24
-I'm 15 and I live in Capel Curig -in the Conwy Valley.	0:02:24	0:02:28
-I love music and horses.	0:02:29	0:02:31
-They keep me very busy.	0:02:31	0:02:34
-Horses are friends.	0:02:35	0:02:38
-It's not like having pets, -it's like having friends.	0:02:39	0:02:43
-You're a friend, aren't you?	0:02:45	0:02:47
-When I was five and my brother -was three, my parents separated.	0:02:47	0:02:52
-It affected me a great deal.	0:02:52	0:02:54
-I don't often see my father. -He lives in Ireland.	0:02:54	0:02:58
-I'm going to look -at how divorce affects children...	0:02:59	0:03:02
-..and see if we can make divorce -a little easier for everyone.	0:03:03	0:03:07
-You're lovely.	0:03:07	0:03:08
-Mam, or Lady Alice Douglas, is -a member of an aristocratic family.	0:03:09	0:03:13
-It was quite a scandal -when she married my father.	0:03:14	0:03:17
-He was in prison for armed robbery.	0:03:18	0:03:20
-So how did you and my Dad meet?	0:03:21	0:03:23
-We met when I was asked -as an actress...	0:03:23	0:03:28
-..to go and work in a prison -and do a production of Macbeth.	0:03:28	0:03:32
-I was Lady Macbeth, -playing opposite your Dad.	0:03:32	0:03:36
-He's an incredible actor, with -such an immense amount of feeling.	0:03:36	0:03:41
-I still think, I've seen that play -at the Royal Shakespeare Company...	0:03:41	0:03:46
-..and all different productions.	0:03:46	0:03:49
-Actually, your Dad's -performance was incredible.	0:03:50	0:03:54
-I remember Mam and Dad telling me -and my brother they were separating.	0:03:55	0:04:00
-It wasn't a big surprise to us. -We knew something was going on.	0:04:00	0:04:05
-But we didn't know other children -whose parents had split up.	0:04:06	0:04:10
-We didn't know what to expect.	0:04:10	0:04:13
-It was very difficult for us, -but more for me...	0:04:13	0:04:17
-..because I loved Mam -and Dad so much.	0:04:17	0:04:20
-I couldn't imagine life without them -loving each other as I loved them.	0:04:20	0:04:25
-During the divorce, my brother -and I had counselling with Cafcass.	0:04:25	0:04:30
-They represent children in court.	0:04:30	0:04:32
-We went to Relate Cymru -for help too.	0:04:33	0:04:36
-Now I'm older, I'd like to speak -to someone from Relate again.	0:04:36	0:04:41
-One of the most important -things I see...	0:04:41	0:04:45
-..is that children often -think it's their fault.	0:04:46	0:04:50
-We always say...	0:04:51	0:04:52
-..it's never, never, -the children's fault.	0:04:52	0:04:56
-I didn't really know what it meant, -when parents separated.	0:04:56	0:05:01
-I didn't know anything about -parents going to court or Cafcass.	0:05:01	0:05:06
-I wasn't worried. But when -it happened, it was so fast.	0:05:06	0:05:10
-Why do you think parents separate?	0:05:10	0:05:13
-For a lot of different reasons.	0:05:13	0:05:15
-When couples come to Relate...	0:05:16	0:05:18
-..the most common reasons are...	0:05:19	0:05:22
-..disagreements about money.	0:05:22	0:05:24
-There's no right or wrong way, just -different ways of regarding things.	0:05:25	0:05:30
-The pressure of work and life.	0:05:30	0:05:33
-People also have affairs.	0:05:34	0:05:36
-Sometimes, an affair -can be a symptom of something...	0:05:36	0:05:40
-In the past.	0:05:40	0:05:42
-..of problems in the relationship.	0:05:42	0:05:44
-Do you think you fell in love -with the character he played...	0:05:45	0:05:49
-..as opposed to the man he was?	0:05:49	0:05:51
-Maybe there's an aspect...	0:05:51	0:05:53
-..that because your Dad -had a slightly fractured...	0:05:54	0:05:58
-..unhappy experience -as a young man...	0:05:58	0:06:01
-..that he was very good -at being a character.	0:06:01	0:06:04
-But as much as he was brilliant, -he was also incredibly destructive.	0:06:04	0:06:09
-Yes.	0:06:10	0:06:11
-Sorry, it makes me cry.	0:06:11	0:06:13
-Don't cry.	0:06:19	0:06:20
-Don't cry. - -I won't, baby.	0:06:20	0:06:21
-Despite the sad events -in childhood...	0:06:31	0:06:34
-..I have a full, busy life now.	0:06:34	0:06:37
-Today, Mam and I are going -to Llanrwst Rural Show.	0:06:38	0:06:43
-I go every year to compete with -my horses and enjoy the activities.	0:06:43	0:06:48
-I have two horses, -but Heidi is coming with me today.	0:06:52	0:06:55
-It's her first visit -to Llanrwst Show.	0:06:55	0:06:58
-I haven't been -to the show yet with Heidi.	0:07:03	0:07:07
-She's done the British Eventing, -but she didn't come through.	0:07:07	0:07:11
-Today, we're doing -Junior Equitation.	0:07:11	0:07:14
-We just ride round -and show the judge how we ride.	0:07:14	0:07:18
-Then we're doing Working Hunter, -so you jump and ride round.	0:07:18	0:07:23
-Then we're doing Best Horse -and Welsh Part-bred.	0:07:24	0:07:27
-I'll fit this on.	0:07:32	0:07:34
-We put on studs so she doesn't slip.	0:07:36	0:07:39
-She's really naughty.	0:07:40	0:07:42
-Heidi is a Welsh part-bred.	0:07:44	0:07:46
-She's half Welsh Cob -and half Thoroughbred.	0:07:47	0:07:51
-The judge looks -at my horse-handling technique.	0:08:09	0:08:13
-I don't expect a prize.	0:08:14	0:08:15
-Heidi is a young horse -and doesn't always behave.	0:08:16	0:08:19
-But very unexpectedly, I win.	0:08:23	0:08:25
-She's just ten-five.	0:08:25	0:08:27
-What is your favourite?	0:08:27	0:08:28
-What is your favourite? - -Eventing.	0:08:28	0:08:29
-Well done.	0:08:30	0:08:31
-I didn't expect to do so well. -I expected to come last!	0:08:33	0:08:38
-I haven't done it before. -It was fantastic!	0:08:38	0:08:41
-I'm glad I won.	0:08:41	0:08:43
-I went to Relate Cymru -when I was small.	0:08:46	0:08:49
-I drew this picture -when I was four or five.	0:08:49	0:08:53
-Can you see something in it?	0:08:53	0:08:56
-Well!	0:08:56	0:08:57
-There's a mountain and we see...	0:08:57	0:09:00
-Dad, my brother Tybalt and me.	0:09:02	0:09:04
-And here?	0:09:05	0:09:06
-It's raining.	0:09:07	0:09:08
-Are those tears, or is it rain?	0:09:08	0:09:10
-Yes.	0:09:11	0:09:12
-But it isn't raining on your heads.	0:09:12	0:09:15
-Everyone says it looks sad.	0:09:15	0:09:17
-But we're smiling, so I don't know.	0:09:19	0:09:21
-You're smiling and almost -look as if you're having fun.	0:09:21	0:09:25
-Maybe Dad is swinging you.	0:09:25	0:09:28
-Is it dangerous, or is it safe?	0:09:28	0:09:29
-Is it dangerous, or is it safe? - -I don't know.	0:09:29	0:09:30
-I think my parents stayed together -for a very long time...	0:09:31	0:09:35
-..because they thought it helped us.	0:09:35	0:09:38
-Mam has talked to me -a lot about the separation.	0:09:38	0:09:43
-They thought it was better -to stay together.	0:09:43	0:09:46
-Now, she sees it would be better -if they'd had a clean break...	0:09:46	0:09:51
-..and we saw Dad at weekends...	0:09:51	0:09:53
-..rather than have -a life with so many rows...	0:09:53	0:09:57
-..and never have a quiet place -when we were a happy family.	0:09:57	0:10:01
-What is that on Dad's chest?	0:10:02	0:10:04
-A heart.	0:10:04	0:10:06
-There's a heart -in all the pictures of Dad.	0:10:06	0:10:09
-A huge heart.	0:10:09	0:10:10
-A huge heart. - -Yes.	0:10:10	0:10:11
-What would you say to the -little girl who drew the picture?	0:10:11	0:10:16
-When I drew it, I was very scared -of losing Mam and Dad.	0:10:17	0:10:22
-I'd say, "Everything -will get better.	0:10:22	0:10:26
-"Even if you don't see Mam and Dad -the same time, you'll see them.	0:10:26	0:10:30
-"Don't worry."	0:10:30	0:10:32
-Were you scared?	0:10:32	0:10:33
-Were you scared? - -Yes.	0:10:33	0:10:34
-I was scared of losing one of them.	0:10:34	0:10:37
-I was scared of losing one of them. - -And never seeing them again.	0:10:37	0:10:39
-From the horses to singing.	0:10:42	0:10:44
-During the week, I go to Chetham's, -a music school in Manchester.	0:10:44	0:10:49
-I study classical music.	0:10:50	0:10:52
-But when I'm home, -I like doing informal gigs...	0:10:52	0:10:56
-..and perform songs I composed.	0:10:56	0:10:59
-I've come to the Word Festival -after the Llanrwst Show.	0:10:59	0:11:03
-I'm doing five songs -with Aziz in the marquee.	0:11:03	0:11:07
-Aziz just plays the guitar.	0:11:13	0:11:15
-He has played -with the Stone Roses and Oasis.	0:11:15	0:11:19
-The style I play with Aziz is a bit -indie and doesn't fit in a category.	0:11:19	0:11:24
-The Chetham's teachers don't mind -me doing this. I think they like it.	0:11:26	0:11:31
-They always say, "Do the style that -suits you." So that's what I do.	0:11:31	0:11:36
-# Where did you go?	0:11:54	0:11:59
-# Tears of sadness flow	0:12:00	0:12:03
-# Like the river	0:12:04	0:12:06
-# Regrets	0:12:08	0:12:12
-# Why did you go	0:12:12	0:12:14
-# And leave us? #	0:12:14	0:12:18
-I've had a busy summer.	0:12:25	0:12:27
-I'm going back to school.	0:12:27	0:12:29
-I had an audition to Chetham's -four years ago.	0:12:30	0:12:34
-I didn't think I'd get in.	0:12:34	0:12:36
-Someone said I should go -for an audition. I thought, OK.	0:12:37	0:12:41
-When I was accepted...	0:12:42	0:12:45
-..it felt so surreal.	0:12:46	0:12:48
-My friends think it's cool -to go to a boarding school.	0:12:49	0:12:53
-They say, "You're so lucky.	0:12:53	0:12:56
-"We'd love to go -to school in Manchester."	0:12:56	0:13:00
-I still feel homesick -and want to come home.	0:13:00	0:13:04
-.	0:13:08	0:13:08
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-Subtitles - -Subtitles	0:13:14	0:13:16
-I'm back in Manchester for the start -of the new term in Chetham's.	0:13:22	0:13:27
-The emphasis is on music.	0:13:27	0:13:30
-I do the usual academic subjects, -like everyone else.	0:13:30	0:13:34
-I started in Chetham's -when I was eleven.	0:13:34	0:13:37
-Mam couldn't take me to school.	0:13:38	0:13:40
-She put me on the train -with all my stuff.	0:13:40	0:13:44
-I was so nervous.	0:13:44	0:13:46
-I said I'd get off -in Bangor and come home.	0:13:46	0:13:49
-It's been a fantastic experience. -It's a fantastic school.	0:13:50	0:13:54
-I love it and the people there.	0:13:54	0:13:57
-My lessons start at 8.30am.	0:13:59	0:14:01
-I have six lessons every day and -a long lunch hour, which is nice.	0:14:02	0:14:07
-I finish at 4.30pm.	0:14:07	0:14:09
-Then I have rehearsals, -like the harp ensemble.	0:14:10	0:14:14
-I'm studying the harp, singing, -piano and composition.	0:14:16	0:14:20
-I do normal subjects, like music, -science, Maths and English.	0:14:21	0:14:26
-The balance between the academic -subjects and music is good.	0:14:27	0:14:32
-We have an hour of English -then an hour's musical rehearsal.	0:14:32	0:14:38
-I share a room with my best friend. -Her parents have split up too.	0:14:47	0:14:52
-She knows what I'm going through. -We talk a lot about it.	0:14:52	0:14:56
-She was brought up by her father, -not her mother.	0:14:57	0:15:01
-It's hard for me...	0:15:01	0:15:03
-..because Dad isn't around.	0:15:04	0:15:07
-I feel sorry for her -because she doesn't have a mother.	0:15:07	0:15:11
-It's so important to have a mother.	0:15:11	0:15:14
-Hello, Hero.	0:15:14	0:15:16
-How are you?	0:15:17	0:15:18
-How are you? - -I'm good, thank you.	0:15:18	0:15:20
-I'm an independent person. -I don't want to rely on anyone.	0:15:21	0:15:25
-I want to be on my own. -I'm happy on my own.	0:15:25	0:15:29
-When parents split up, -you do miss out on your childhood.	0:15:31	0:15:35
-I had to grow up quickly to help -everyone, to be an active child...	0:15:36	0:15:40
-..to make sure Mam's happy, -as well as my brother and Dad.	0:15:41	0:15:46
-# Scared	0:15:47	0:15:48
-# Of being on my own	0:15:49	0:15:53
-# Scared	0:15:55	0:15:56
-# Of the expectations on me	0:15:57	0:16:01
-# Scared that you will see	0:16:03	0:16:07
-# I'm not half the person	0:16:08	0:16:12
-# I appear to be #	0:16:13	0:16:16
-Yeah. You've played -what I assume is the verse.	0:16:17	0:16:21
-Is there a chorus? -Can you remember any of that?	0:16:21	0:16:24
-Sort of.	0:16:24	0:16:26
-# There isn't a place that's safe	0:16:30	0:16:33
-# Nobody understands	0:16:33	0:16:36
-# I'm on my own #	0:16:37	0:16:41
-I have good friends in Chetham's.	0:16:47	0:16:49
-But my best friends are home. -One is Robyn.	0:16:50	0:16:53
-We're good friends -because we both like horses.	0:16:53	0:16:56
-Her parents have separated, too.	0:16:57	0:16:59
-It's nice to have a friend who -understands what I've been through.	0:17:01	0:17:06
-Hiya.	0:17:06	0:17:07
-Hiya. - -Hiya! Are you OK?	0:17:07	0:17:09
-How did you hurt your foot?	0:17:13	0:17:15
-I was riding my horse.	0:17:16	0:17:18
-He slipped and fell on me. -My foot twisted.	0:17:18	0:17:22
-I still don't know what's wrong.	0:17:23	0:17:25
-How did you deal -with your parents' divorce?	0:17:26	0:17:29
-I was three when it happened.	0:17:29	0:17:32
-I was very young -and I moved around with Mam.	0:17:33	0:17:37
-We had horses there, too.	0:17:38	0:17:41
-I did more with Mam.	0:17:41	0:17:43
-I went to Dad's house -on the weekends.	0:17:43	0:17:48
-Do you have a good relationship -with your father?	0:17:48	0:17:52
-We're still friends, and we talk. -Maybe not every day.	0:17:52	0:17:56
-He's too busy to talk to me.	0:17:56	0:17:59
-I can talk to him about everything.	0:18:00	0:18:04
-Can I see your horses?	0:18:04	0:18:06
-Yes! I can't ride. -Let's see the puppies first.	0:18:07	0:18:11
-Please!	0:18:11	0:18:12
-They're so cute!	0:18:19	0:18:20
-They're so cute! - -They're so small.	0:18:20	0:18:22
-Thanks.	0:18:24	0:18:26
-Stay.	0:18:29	0:18:30
-Are you keeping them all?	0:18:34	0:18:35
-Are you keeping them all? - -We hope to sell them.	0:18:35	0:18:38
-We only need one dog. -This wasn't planned.	0:18:38	0:18:42
-They're cute.	0:18:43	0:18:46
-What breed are they?	0:18:47	0:18:48
-What breed are they? - -The mother is a Patterdale.	0:18:48	0:18:51
-I think the father -is a Collie from over the road!	0:18:51	0:18:55
-They're Patterdale/Collies - -Pollies!	0:18:56	0:18:59
-Good girl.	0:19:00	0:19:02
-This feels weird!	0:19:05	0:19:09
-I felt torn between Dad and Mam.	0:19:09	0:19:11
-They wanted to do different things -on weekends.	0:19:11	0:19:15
-Dad said, "Hero is always with you. -Why can't I have Hero?"	0:19:15	0:19:19
-That doesn't happen now -because Dad moved to Ireland.	0:19:19	0:19:23
-It was hard for me -when he lived in Dolwyddelan.	0:19:23	0:19:27
-I wanted to be with him and Mam, -but I couldn't.	0:19:27	0:19:31
-How old is that one?	0:19:33	0:19:35
-How old is that one? - -Jaffa is three.	0:19:35	0:19:38
-Dad had the idea for the name -because he's orange.	0:19:38	0:19:42
-Do you ride them?	0:19:43	0:19:45
-Not yet. They're too young. -Next year, I can ride Donny.	0:19:45	0:19:50
-Do you go riding with your mother?	0:19:50	0:19:51
-Do you go riding with your mother? - -Yes.	0:19:51	0:19:53
-Dad likes horses. -He doesn't like riding them!	0:19:53	0:19:58
-I do that with Mam. -I compete every week.	0:19:59	0:20:04
-There's a good boy! Come here, baby!	0:20:07	0:20:11
-It's so long!	0:20:12	0:20:15
-He's greedy.	0:20:16	0:20:18
-Cheeky boy.	0:20:19	0:20:22
-Even though Mam and Dad's divorce -was sometimes difficult...	0:20:26	0:20:30
-..my home life is very happy.	0:20:31	0:20:33
-Our family life -is settled and quiet.	0:20:33	0:20:36
-Mam met Steve, my stepfather, -a few years ago.	0:20:36	0:20:40
-He's an important part -of our family.	0:20:40	0:20:44
-We're leaving about seven thirty.	0:20:44	0:20:46
-We're leaving about seven thirty. - -I'm going with Steve, aren't I?	0:20:46	0:20:48
-I thought I'd take you.	0:20:49	0:20:50
-I thought I'd take you. - -He said it's fine.	0:20:50	0:20:52
-He said it's fine, -driving all the way to Prestatyn?	0:20:53	0:20:57
-If things were different, -it would be lovely to see Dad.	0:20:58	0:21:02
-It would be nice to see who -I'm more alike, my mother or father.	0:21:02	0:21:06
-It didn't work out like that.	0:21:06	0:21:09
-I don't mind now.	0:21:10	0:21:12
-It feels easier not to see Dad. -Steve is my step-dad.	0:21:12	0:21:16
-He's fantastic and Mam's fantastic.	0:21:17	0:21:19
-I have a step-dad and a mother. -That's fine.	0:21:19	0:21:23
-That's the one I wanted.	0:21:23	0:21:24
-That's the one I wanted. - -He doesn't think so.	0:21:24	0:21:26
-Was it better as it was?	0:21:27	0:21:28
-Was it better as it was? - -Let's go with it as it is.	0:21:28	0:21:31
-I still have to work -in inches and convert that...	0:21:32	0:21:35
-..because I'm old and thick.	0:21:35	0:21:37
-You're not thick.	0:21:38	0:21:40
-That's really nice, knees together.	0:21:40	0:21:44
-If I had children, -I'd want to be a single parent.	0:21:44	0:21:48
-I might adopt three or four -and live in a house on my own.	0:21:49	0:21:54
-Having parents who split up -changed the way I look at men.	0:21:58	0:22:03
-When I start to date boys, I'll -be more wary than other people.	0:22:03	0:22:09
-I don't want to fall in love -with a man who's useless.	0:22:09	0:22:13
-I want a man who does things -and who will be there.	0:22:13	0:22:17
-# Let us be the perfect family	0:22:19	0:22:22
-# I beg Mum to show -that she really cares	0:22:23	0:22:26
-# But she says -she can't after his affairs	0:22:27	0:22:31
-# Ooh	0:22:33	0:22:34
-# It's just piggy in the middle me	0:22:34	0:22:38
-# Daddy, Daddy please don't go	0:22:42	0:22:45
-# Let us be the family that I know	0:22:45	0:22:49
-# Please don't go	0:22:49	0:22:51
-# Oh, please make up	0:22:54	0:22:56
-# Let's go to the park	0:22:58	0:23:00
-# Play on the swings	0:23:00	0:23:02
-# That's what I love -those little things	0:23:02	0:23:06
-# The way it used to be	0:23:06	0:23:09
-# It's just piggy in the middle me #	0:23:11	0:23:16
-S4C Subtitles by Gwead	0:23:41	0:23:43
-.	0:23:43	0:23:44

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