Hemswell 32 Bargain Hunt

OK, you 'orrible lot! You've got exactly 30 seconds

to stop making that cup of tea and find that comfortable chair,

cos let's go bargain hunting! Yeah!

Ah, you made it! Well done.

Today we've landed at Hemswell Antiques Centre

just outside Lincoln, which, in the Second World War,

was a bomber base.

Well, let's hope our teams don't hit much flatulence -

-I mean turbulence - in today's show.

-HE LAUGHS

Coming up, the Reds set their sights on a dashing fellow.

No, not James Braxton!

Him.

-I'd take him home.

-Oh, I would!

JAMES LAUGHS

We're halfway there. We're halfway there, aren't we?

Thomas Plant has to keep the peace...

-You like Lester.

-Yeah.

-Be him on your head.

-OK.

'The question is, will their buys hit the target or just bomb at auction?'

Nice one!

£90! Look at that!

It could be a winning score, so not a word, right?

Let's meet those teams!

-And here they are. Hello, everyone.

-Hello, Tim.

Lovely to see you. Catherine, how did you and Jean meet?

We met at the Mothers' Union about ten years ago.

We both go to the same church, and we're both involved in Mothers' Union.

That involves looking after the elderly.

It says here you're "two crazy Christians". Is that right?

That's right. We do like to have a laugh.

-We're not all smells and bells, you know.

-No.

So I've been told!

Yes. Brilliant.

And, Jean, you're something of the good Samaritan, aren't you?

I try to be, yes. I tried to rescue a man

who I thought was having a fit. I walked up to him,

removing my cardigan, saying, "Don't worry, I'm here to help you."

And he said, "It's all right, love. I'm trying to turn the tap off."

He was a man from the water board with his arm down a hole.

Oh, goodness!

-I think he had a good laugh.

-Yes, absolutely!

Are you two ladies going to win today?

-Oh, yes. Yes.

-Definitely?

-Yes.

-We've prayed about it, yes.

Oh, you've prayed about it?

Oh, if you've prayed about it, you'll be perfectly all right.

-He's on our side.

-A bit of divine intervention!

-Are you quaking in your boots, Blues?

-Fearless.

Fearless, you are. You don't care about the power of prayer, do you?

-No.

-So, Cath, how did you first meet?

We met in a coffee shop. Yes. I had an unusual Saturday off,

and went along to this little beautiful home-made chocolate shop,

and sat there drinking it and sampling, as you do,

-and, you know...

-Dave came along.

-There he was, yeah.

And he said, "I like the look of your chocolates!"

Dirty beast!

That's marvellous. I have to say, Dave,

-you're looking very well on the treatment.

-Thank you.

You can't beat a bit of plain chocolate, can you?

Perfect. But you've had a few action-packed jobs in your time.

I have. I did ten years in the RAF as an aircraft engineer.

-Did you?

-Yeah! Very exciting.

-Here in Lincolnshire?

-Yes, RAF Lincolnshire.

I started at Binbrook on the Lightnings.

Oh, did you? I remember those. They were such sexy aeroplanes!

-Oh, yes.

-Such a beautiful-looking machine.

-And so fast!

-And so fast.

-Did you ever fly in one?

-I did, actually.

-Did you?

-I mean, they would go vertically...

-They do.

..faster than the speed of sound, or something ridiculous.

Dave, what do you do in your spare time, old fruit?

I like to play tennis.

I enjoy watching sport on TV.

-I like eating out.

-It says here you prefer eating out

-to cooking yourself.

-That is true, yes. Yes.

Cath has tried to encourage me to do a little bit more cooking,

but I'm not destined to be a great cook.

How are you two going to get on as a team?

-He'll do as he's told. He's fine.

-THEY LAUGH

That's pretty much it. Cath will make the final decision.

So nothing's different. It's the usual married arrangement?

-Pretty much the same.

-Good. We got the message there, then.

This is the money moment. There's your £300. £300 apiece.

You know the rules. Your experts await. And off you go!

And very, very, very good luck.

Well, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy! Whatever's going to happen next?

And they're off!

-Here we are!

-Yes.

-Have you got a strategy for today?

-Yes. Buy cheap, big sell.

-Something pretty. Something silver, probably.

-Silver.

-Cath likes beautiful things.

-I do.

-So sculptures, decorative...

-What about you, Dave?

-Do you get a say?

-Not much of one, no, but...

-Shall we rake this top floor?

-Yes.

-See if we can find a bargain!

Come on. On your way.

Let's carry on and let's go in search of some bargains.

I've just seen this parasol. Let's have a look.

-Let's stand up.

-Oh, thank you!

-Look at that!

-Beautiful, isn't it?

-Isn't that wonderful?

Is it undamaged?

-Do you know what the stone is?

-Tiger's eye, I think.

-It is. It's tiger's eye.

-Wow!

-Well done.

Tiger's eye is part of the cryptocrystalline-quartz family.

'Get you, Professor Plant!'

-I was going to say that.

-Yeah, absolutely.

Do you know what we call this play of colour within the tiger's eye?

-No.

-No?

-I don't.

-It's called a chatoyant, with the play of light

across the stone. Isn't that absolutely wonderful?

But we have to think to ourselves,

at £75, what are we buying? Are we buying the parasol,

are we investing in the tiger's eye and the base there

-to be used on something else...

-It's a brolly,

-at the end of the day.

-It is a brolly.

-And you can get one for a fiver.

-You can get one for a fiver.

So we're investing in the beautiful stone, aren't we?

-In the stone.

-What sort of age do you think this...

That's going to be 1900s, that sort of parasol.

The stone is gorgeous.

-£75 is a lot of money.

-It's a lot of money, isn't it?

-That's something to think about.

-It is, definitely.

There's one strategy, when you're in this sort of market.

You can look at a number of items in one cabinet,

and if you can do a deal on two, that might be more advantageous.

Oh, I see. Yeah.

So, is there anything else in here you saw?

What about those?

These are the sterling-silver bracelets.

They're marked sterling silver, with portraits of famous pictures.

You've got the Blue Boy by Gainsborough,

the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci...

-Is this quite desirable?

-It is quite desirable. £55.

It's quite interesting, quite fun, a nice little present for somebody.

-Especially if they're off to art college or something.

-Yeah.

-I quite like that.

-It's worth considering.

-Yeah.

Does it sound cheap when you rattle it?

'Are we talking about Thomas or the bracelet?'

Cheap when you rattle it?

Well, I mean, it doesn't sound clinky,

because it's very thin silver.

See, I think £55 is extortionate.

I would pay 20 quid tops for this.

I think you'd be...

I was born under a very tight star sign, so...

You going to speak to the dealer, then?

£100 for the two.

Would you be able to come down as far as...75 for the pair?

They're asking would you do 75 for the pair.

-100 is his very, very bottom.

-And that's for both, yeah?

That's for the pair.

So maybe we could take the brolly for a tenner

-and leave the £90 brooch behind.

-THEY LAUGH

That's a plan, yeah. THEY LAUGH

'Now, ladies, can I have one deal straight up

'and served on a silver platter, please?'

It's worth looking at, sometimes, these trays.

Although it's plain, you get a lot of bang for your bucks, don't you?

It's sound. It's got a couple of little problems,

but, you know, this is probably a hundred years old.

I like it. If I went to somebody's home,

and I was valuing it as my role as auctioneer,

I would say it's going to make between £50 and £100.

Probably put an estimate of sort of £50, £80.

-Right.

-It's not a £30 item, is it?

It's silver. It's on copper. It's got good legs.

It's got good handles. It's sound.

It would grace a sideboard, wouldn't it?

It certainly would. It would look nice anywhere,

and they're great things to have, you know, drinks trays.

-Stylish thing!

-It is, yeah. Yeah.

'Go bargain, Red Team!'

I'm sorry. The dealer can't accept 45. He'll take £55.

OK. Would she help us a bit?

Could she do 49?

Could she... We just want to get it a fraction under 50.

Would you please accept £49? You can help them a little.

-49 would be lovely.

-Yes.

SHE REPLIES OFF-MIC

-52?

-50?

Could she not do 49?

She can't... You can't manage 50?

Yeah? Yeah?

-£50.

-Well done. I think we'll do that.

That's very kind of the lady. The tension was palpable!

Wasn't it? My heart is racing!

Everywhere you go these days it's green, green, green!

Recycle this, recycle that...

Well, actually, antiques can be green,

and just look what this cunning, clever dealer has done

in recycling materials into lamps!

If you were keen on athletics,

you'd love the discus made into a lamp,

or boxing, or maybe bowls,

or football, or snooker.

He's even made a cricket bat into a lamp.

On this side we've got an electrical printed circuit,

we've got a converted telephone,

we've got a clarinet. Can you believe that?

A clapped-out set of golf clubs,

even the back end of a hammer shotgun.

Great, aren't they? And the prices,

well, they range from between £190

and about £400.

So it's quite accessible, and an absolute hoot.

Not quite as oddball, though, as this centre table.

Now, this is really alternative.

What we've got here is a massive galvanised tank,

a storage tank that would've sat in a Victorian house,

except the dealer has taken it out of the house,

and instead of scrapping it has simply cut out the sides

into a form that resemble legs.

All that original riveting is still here.

He's then covered it

in a rotten-stone and varnished mixed paint

which gives it this encrusted, blackish look,

and, by inverting it, has made it into a centre table.

I mean, how clever is that?

It's a hoot! It's amusing.

It's recycled. It's great, great fun.

Well, everything's fun about it apart from the price,

-which is...

-HE PLAYS HOLLOW DRUM-ROLL SOUND

..£990.

He's a bit of a sweetie, isn't he? A carved Black Forest bear brush.

There he is. He's doing a dance, as well.

And that would be a table brush.

-Have a look. What do you think?

-He's lovely, but, whoa!

He needs to do a lot more dancing for that kind of money.

They're quite popular things. Bears have a hold over people.

Let's see. Is there anything else in here

that grabs your attention?

-Anything, Cath?

-Um, that, what you're grabbing now.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-So, this is a paperknife pen, 1880.

It's bone, so what you got is a paperknife,

then you unscrew this bit here... Let's show you.

I thought you might.

Well, you get more for your money, don't you?

-You have a little dip pen.

-Oh, I like that.

And then, just in case that's not enough,

if you look through here,

you have a little Stanhope.

What's a Stanhope? A Stanhope is a little magnifier.

-Oh, I see.

-I think it's a Stanhope which has lost its lens.

There's meant to be a lens there. I can see print at the back.

-Oh, I see. OK.

-Oh, that's a shame.

It is a shame. But there's a pipe-tamper there.

I really like that. And how much is that?

That is... Let's have a look. That's £22.

Oh!

-I'd pay £15 for that.

-£15 for that?

Well, all you can do is phone up and ask.

We need to speak to the lovely lady at the front about this.

-See if they can phone up.

-And maybe they could...

-You could do a deal.

-Yes.

-Ooh, yeah.

Shall I go and talk to the man about a dog?

-I think you should go and do that.

-Thank you!

-Thank you very much.

-Good news and bad news.

-Yeah? Go on, then.

The good news is, they didn't say no.

-To what?

-Our offer.

-OK.

-But the bad news is they didn't actually get the offer,

because they're not there.

-That's got everything, hasn't it?

-Enamel.

-It's got enamel...

-Silver.

-Oh, that's pretty.

-Gold plate, nice hinge, ivory...

I think they called them navette-shaped.

-Maybe it was for...

-Patches?

-..patches or whatever,

or maybe little scissors.

-Has that got hair?

-Yeah. That's plaited hair.

It's slightly mourning, so that would've been a child

or somebody lost, somebody dear lost.

I like those carved things at the back.

-OK. These ones here?

-Yeah.

-These tusks?

-Yeah.

Carved African tusks.

Again, they are going to be ivory.

So, um, you see, these... Let's see the price of them.

£85 for carved ivory tusks.

I mean, they've got to be pre-1947.

-And how do you know that they are?

-It's all a case of dating them

and looking at the ivory,

and making sure it's not too new.

Um, in my opinion they look fine,

but at £85, I just think, you know...

What do you think they'd fetch at auction?

-Well, 40 to 60, say.

-Really?

-No. I just don't think...

-The monkey.

-Oh, the monkey, yeah.

He's rather funny, isn't he?

Monkey!

German.

Oh, it's a novelty lighter, isn't it?

So that won't be all that old, will it?

No. And it's £70.

-Wow!

-Rather unusual, isn't it?

-Yes.

-He's very comical, isn't he?

-Made of pewter.

-Would he sell, do you think?

I think he would sell. He's fun. He's got a good sense of humour.

-Just a novelty lighter.

-Shall we think about that one?

Yeah. That's a possibility.

-Oh, it's Nijinsky!

-Lester Piggott, Nijinsky.

We'd obviously need to get a significant discount,

cos it would blow our budget in one go.

And it's signed.

And what does Mr Thomas have to say about it?

-I don't know. We need to seek his opinion again, I think.

-We do.

-Oh, what have you found?

-A teddy.

-Teddy.

-Lovely old humpback teddy.

-Humpback? Has he got a hump?

-He has.

-Ooh, he's got a hump. What's his face like?

-Ohh! Looks a little bit like Sooty, don't he?

-Sooty.

He's got a sort of plush cover. Quite silky.

-And then... I can hear the straw.

-Does he growl?

-No.

-No. He doesn't growl, does he?

-But he's lovely, isn't he?

-Very nice.

He's lovely. And, age-wise, pre-war gets you out of a lot of problems,

-doesn't it? What do you think?

-1910, '20.

1910, '20? Yeah, I think around the 1920s, '30s.

-He's lovely. I'd take him home.

-I would.

JAMES LAUGHS I would.

We're halfway there. We're halfway there, aren't we?

I think best play is if you have a go at speaking to the dealer.

-That would be great!

-Yes.

-OK. I think he's that way.

-OK.

'So, is that teddy bear coming to our picnic, I wonder?'

£80 was the best price.

£80? Good. I think that's the right side of it.

-You think that's OK?

-Yeah! I think it's great fun.

-You love it. Hopefully somebody else will.

-If we both liked it, somebody else will.

'What? £80?'

So, you quite like this bronze, do you?

-I do, but not at that price.

-It's at your risk on that one.

Don't panic. Everything's under control.

I'm not one for panicking. So here's your bronze figure.

It isn't that old, but there's Lester Piggott,

on Nijinsky.

"Champion". And it's a limited edition, is it?

"This particular sculpture"... "One of the edition"...

"In addition"... "strictly limited"... "7,500".

There's quite a few of them about, then!

There's a lot of horseracing fans about, as well.

Yeah. There are, isn't there, really?

The other thing in this cabinet which I think is good is this here.

I think this is handsome. This is a meerschaum pipe,

and it's nice that it's in its little box here, all cased up.

-£39.

-I like him.

You like him? Well, he's worth asking about.

Do you want to go and ask about that, Dave?

-I will do.

-Well done.

-OK.

-And go and ask about Lester Piggott.

-I'd like to ask at least.

-OK.

-Just to put me out of my misery, yeah.

-Right. OK.

-See what you can do on that.

-OK.

He can do 225 on the Nijinsky, Lester Piggott.

-OK.

-How does that sound?

Er, it still sounds a lot.

'Well, it's £50 off, David.'

Now, this intrigues me.

Isn't that lovely? Do you know, I've never seen a horn beaker

engraved like that, and it really works with this light.

We've got two little people in the coach,

and we're running round here, and he's whipping the horses.

They're really going full gallop. And I like the way the artist here,

because it's quite low-profile scene here,

he's now introduced a sort of village scene in here,

going along the top. And then, rather bizarrely,

the horses, this team of horses, is being attacked

by a lion, and a plucky little terrier there

-is chewing into his calf. It's a lovely item, isn't it?

-It is.

Now, I wonder how it performs away from the light.

-You see, it's quite a dull beast now, isn't it?

-Yes.

This is made of horn, and it's just got a really charming scene,

sort of English naive art.

-A bit scrimshaw.

-It is... Exactly! Scrimshaw, isn't it?

When you put a light upon it, it looks really good, doesn't it?

-It does.

-I like that.

-What price is it, James?

165.

-That is...

-Must be having a laugh, mustn't they?

It's too expensive!

-Gosh, is this a long-distance call?

-It is.

-THEY LAUGH

-How many pieces you got?

-You got the two, haven't you?

-Yes, we've got two.

-So you're down to the final line.

-We are.

-We're praying.

-We are praying.

-I can feel the tension here.

You could cut the atmosphere with a knife,

it's so sharp around here. I think I'll shove off.

130 is his very best. It's very tight on that one.

-If it's rare, we could...

-Go for it.

-Yes, we'll have it.

-We'll have it? OK.

130.

So, that's the Red Team finished.

But what do they have in their basket?

Catherine and Jean first served up the Sheffield-plate tray for £50.

A humpback teddy bear joined their happy group for 80.

And you just saw them grab the horn beaker for £130.

Now, what's the grand total?

£260.

-260?

-Yes.

That's good, then. £40 of leftover lolly somewhere.

Thank you very much. There's the 40. Very good. All present and correct.

-Straight to Mr Braxton.

-Blimey! A fortune!

That's marvellous. I'm always delighted when you spend your money.

We wanted to spend a lot.

Now James's challenge is to find something suitable for £40.

-I've got every confidence.

-Every...

-Yes, indeed.

Haven't we all? Brilliant.

Anyway, why don't we check out right now what the Blues bought, eh?

NEEDLE SCRATCHING ON RECORD

Hold on. I can't, because they haven't bought anything yet!

-What's your decision?

-We're going with the brolly,

-the brush with the bear on it...

-The brush with the bear.

-And the beautiful pen.

-And the little pen.

What about this? You do Lester, 225,

you do pen, 20,

and you do pipe, 38?

-You can afford that, can't you?

-I'm not keen on the pipe.

-I'd rather have the bear brush.

-The bear brush?

-OK. Are you dead set on Lester?

-I really like it.

-You like Lester. Be him on your head.

-OK.

-And then the beautiful pen.

-20, so that makes 245.

You could go for the brolly for 50, and then leave me with £5.

Yeah. I say let's do that. Surely whatever you buy for a fiver,

-we can't lose on that.

-Well, you never know.

-Wonderful.

-Job done.

HE LAUGHS

After all that,

this is what they went for -

the Lester Piggott bronze, for £225.

The bone paper knife for £20.

And the ladies' parasol for 50.

What's this I hear? You spent £225 on one item?

-Don't look at me.

-Don't look at who?

-It's not on my head. It's on his.

-Dave? You.

-I think it may be my fault, yes.

Well, it's nobody's fault until the fat lady sings, right?

It can all happen at the auction, which is what's such fun.

So, overall you spent it all, didn't you, roughly?

-Yeah. All bar a little fiver.

-£295?

-Yes.

I knew they were going to do well. £295.

-Where's the £5 note, then, please?

-That's there.

Lovely! Look at that. Nice and crisp and clean.

-Straight over to you, Thomas. Happy with that?

-What can you buy for £5?

Well, not much in the caff, I can tell you!

Anyway, that's your challenge, and you do love a challenge, don't you?

-I love a challenge.

-Anyway, good luck, kids.

Meanwhile, we're heading off somewhere awfully nice.

We're going to Hampshire. You can come too, if you're good.

Welcome to Hinton Ampner.

Thanks to its last owner, Lord Ralph Dutton,

it is home to some seriously exquisite antiques.

And there are some prime examples in this, the drawing room.

Now, if there's one specie of decorative objects

that seemed to get Ralph Dutton going,

it was anything that was either made of or encrusted in ormolu,

bright gold and glitzy,

and preferably encrusted with something else that's precious.

And an object which typifies his taste is this thing.

Technically it's called a cassolette or perfume burner.

It's been hollowed out inside.

You'd shove a tablet of perfume, incense,

light it so that it smoked,

and the smoke would then curl out from this pierced rim

and effectively perfume the air in your room.

It's a form of air freshener.

And without doubt, in the 18th century,

things could be a bit niffy even in an aristocrat's home.

However, an air freshener couldn't be contained

in a more exotic case than this for an aristocrat,

because the body of the sphere itself

is made out of Blue John, which is a fluorspar

that is only mined in Derbyshire.

There's nowhere else in the world that mines this stuff,

at Castleton, and it's all worked out today,

so you won't get any more.

The sphere itself is supported on three gryphons,

mythical creatures from Greek mythology,

which are half-eagle, with an eagle's beak and wings

applied to the body of a lion.

Seriously weird!

Dotted around the drawing room

we've got a commode that's encrusted in pictorial pietra dura,

little birds, all in coloured stones inlaid into stone,

and in the exotic low pietra-dura table top,

we see parquetry, all again inlaid in stones,

all those different, complicated geometric shapes

fitting together most perfectly.

But the piece de resistance in Dutton's collection

of exotic objects has to be this table cabinet,

an extraordinarily sophisticated and complicated piece of furniture

to make in the 1660s or 1680s.

It comes from Augsburg in Germany,

and if you just look at the frieze, that is indented not once,

not twice but about six times around this single corner,

and you look at the number of little pieces of wood

that geometrically have had to be put together

to create this complicated effect,

then you begin to grasp just how exquisite

this thing actually is.

It looks rich and exotic

partly because the drawer fronts are all applied

with thin pieces of silver,

each of which have been embossed, repousse style, from behind,

with scenes from ancient mythology.

The exotic effect is continued by these out-set columns

that look like twisted pieces of barley sugar or glass.

Actually they're pieces of rock crystal.

And what's this dark-blue stuff?

Well, that's veneered lapis lazuli,

another rare, expensive and exotic mineral,

just to make it that little bit different.

Well, one thing's for certain -

we'll not be coming across anything quite so exquisite today

with our teams over at the auction.

We're heading over to Lichfield in Staffordshire,

where we're under the care of auctioneer Richard Winterton.

Sold at 210.

First up for Catherine and Jean is the silver-plated tray.

Now, I like these when it's got this kind of shaped gallery to it.

-Bit classy that, isn't it?

-I think it's a classic, classic item.

Love it. How much?

We've gone conservative at 50 to 60.

-OK. Well, they paid 50.

-Yeah.

So they stand a chance, huh?

Now, teddy here is looking very comfy on the tray.

Bit of a lump on its back, look.

And I thought he was looking a bit depressed earlier,

-but maybe he's read your estimate.

-We've got 70 to 90, haven't we?

-That's all right. £80 they paid.

-Oh, I...

We'll go with the 70, I think. Yeah.

-But you're not feeling really hot for him.

-No.

Just hope he isn't listening.

-Yeah.

-Poor old chap!

So, what about the horn beaker? Can we buck up with that?

It's 19th century, early, nicely carved.

Used to be collectable. We've put 40 to 50 on it.

Looking at it, there's quite a lot of damage to it.

-It's a quirky thing.

-The problem is that I think this horn

has been extremely popular with collectors in the old days.

In the old days, certainly.

And half of us want to see the prices that used to be paid for this back again.

The truth of the matter is, where are those buyers?

Where is horn.com?

Or whatever you might look up on the internet,

you certainly wouldn't find a whole lot of beakers like this.

-That's the trouble. So what's your estimate?

-We've gone 40 to 50.

Oh, Lord! They paid £130 for that.

Oh, yeah. Old-day money.

-Old-day money.

-That's old stock, I think.

They're going to be torpedoed. In which case, let's go and have a look at the bonus buy!

OK, Catherine, Jean, shall we find out what James Braxton bought

-with the £40 of leftover lolly?

-Yes.

-Yes!

Now, er, I didn't spend it all.

-What do you think it is, Jean?

-I think it's a cigar case.

-Yes.

-Cigar case.

What year would that be?

Sort of 1920s, 1930s, by the lettering.

Personalised. Nicely initialled there.

Does that make a difference, though, when people buy?

I think having something gilt-tooled always adds to an item.

-Do you?

-Yes. Very much.

-And how much did you pay?

-A fiver.

-Ooh!

-Fiver!

-I like it!

-Wow!

-And it's made of pigskin.

-Yes.

-Yeah, it's rather nice.

I was rather hoping for an Asprey's or a Sampson Mordan or something,

but instead I've got "made in England".

That's all right. That's something to be proud of.

-I'm not going to ask if we'll make a profit.

-We will.

-I like these sort of contestants.

-I know. Full of confidence.

-We like him.

-You like him? You like James or the cheroot case?

-Er, James.

-Both.

-Both.

THEY LAUGH

-You're not a fiver, are you?

-No.

-How lovely, James!

You've got fans as well!

-Everybody needs fans.

-Well done, James.

You don't decide now, girls. You pick a bit later.

But for the audience at home,

let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about James's case.

You like a bit of leather, don't you? Hah!

-What about that, then?

-I quite like this. Yeah.

They are quite collectable.

-Sad about the initials on the other side, though, isn't it?

-Yes.

I don't know whether you can ever get those out.

I'm not sure how deep it's been put in.

-Anyway, how much?

-I think we've gone 30 to 40.

Good Lord! Braxton will be astounded!

-He only paid £5.

-Ah, he's OK with that.

-All right.

Jolly good. He will be pleased.

Now, that's it for the Reds. Now for the Blues.

You've got a pretty weird mix here. First up is Lester Piggott

galloping to victory, all three legs off the ground.

These are quite popular, so if they haven't gone over the top too much,

-we could be OK.

-What's your estimate?

We've got 200 to 300.

-Have you? Well, they paid £225.

-I'm not surprised.

All right. That's encouraging. Well, thank you.

-Bone paperknife now.

-OK.

Missing its little lens, the Stanhope in the top,

but nevertheless, got a wee pen inside it and all the rest of it.

Again, it's a good, fun, novelty piece.

Hopefully they haven't paid too much, but it's OK.

-30 to 40, our estimate, so...

-Perfect. They paid 20.

-Yeah. Should be.

-And lastly is the umbrella

to beat all umbrellas, really,

because that is a fantastic terminal, isn't it?

Yeah, it's a corker, absolute corker of an umbrella.

I don't think it'll stay on there very long, whoever buys it.

The handle will be off and it'll be on a lovely walking stick,

a lovely cane. Beautiful. It's a cracking, cracking piece.

-So, how much for it?

-We've gone 50 to 70.

Brilliant. They paid £50. It could make £100, couldn't it?

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

Depending on that and old Lester Piggott,

will determine if they need the bonus buy, but let's have a look at it anyway.

So, Cath and Dave, you spent £295.

You gave the boy £5! Thomas, what did you spend it on?

£5 was tough,

so I looked everywhere, everywhere,

and everything was marked at £15, £10,

and the £5 things was really bad,

so I bought this for £5. It's a piece of art glass,

probably Italian, 1960s, bubble inclusion.

-I mean, what's it worth? 10, 15?

-Are the bubbles there on purpose?

Of course they are! What do you mean, are... Actually,

let me take you through the process.

There's this burning furnace, and there's this poor chap

blowing these things, and it's blown by hand.

What he does is, he's got this molten coloured glass,

and he blows it, and then the bubbles are injected in,

and then they mould it out,

and he crimps it here and he cools it down.

There's a lot of work gone into that. It is hand-made,

and it's £5. You couldn't go and say, "Right, Mr Glassblower -

five quid, make me that." He'd say, "It's going to cost you a hundred."

-So we're going to get a hundred?

-No. You'll probably get £10 for that.

But it is Italian, it's hand-made, and it's £5.

-And it's blue.

-And it's blue. Popular colour.

-And you only gave me a fiver.

-You made us spend it.

No, I didn't. I think you have to blame your husband on this one.

But we'll see what happens.

I have to say, Lester Piggott did hoover up quite a lot of your cash,

-David, if you remember.

-He may have done, yes.

He may have done. Anyway, more of that later.

Right now let's find out what the auctioneer thinks

about Thomas's £5 buy.

-So, poor Thomas only had £5, and that's what he got.

-OK.

Another classic design,

1960s ashtray, I suppose you could call it.

-It's OK, isn't it? I quite like it.

-It's blue for the Blue Team.

-Yeah.

-What might it bring?

-We're £15 to £20 on that.

-£5 he paid.

-Easy.

-That's what they call a no-brainer, right?

-Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

-Are you nervy at all, Jean?

-No. No.

You aren't nervous, Catherine? No. You said your prayers?

We have. We've just had a prayer meeting.

Have you? So you're going to be all right.

-What's money?

-Well, quite.

-We've got everything.

-You have.

-We've got you!

-We've got you.

-James...

-What could be nicer?

Anyway, first up, darlings, is your tray, and it's a pretty one.

We go now, lot 243.

Sheffield-plated twin-handled tray now.

Pretty tray, this one. Again, bid's in at £50.

Oh! Straight in.

At £50 I'm bid. 50. And 60. And 70. And 80.

At £80. Here with me at 80.

At £80. I'm bid £80. The room is out.

At £80...

Sold at 80.

Good auctioneering there. Plus 30.

Nice one. I like that. Now teddy.

We now go to 244. It's the teddy bear.

244, the teddy bear.

Nothing on my book on this one, so I'm in the lap of you.

So come on. £20 to start me off. £20 I'm bid.

£20 I'm bid. The teddy bear at £20.

At £20 I'm bid. £20, £20, £20, £20.

The lady at £20. Don't leave me hanging and dangling.

-25. £30. 35.

-Oh, yes!

-£40.

-More, more!

-Still the front row strong at £40.

Everyone else out? £40. All finished? 40.

£40. £40, then, is minus 40, which means overall you're minus ten.

245, the beaker now, the horn beaker.

Again, nothing on my book, I'm afraid,

so open to you again. At £20, start me.

£20. £20 I'm bid. £20 I'm bid. 25.

30. £30. 35, sir? 35.

35 against the right. At 35... 40.

40 bid. 40 bid. Back of the room at £40.

-£40. £40. Got some age. 45.

-45. Yes, go on!

£50. £60.

£60. £70.

-Go on.

-Yes!

-£70. No?

£70. Right away at £70. At £70.

Sold, then, at £70.

What a bore that is! £70!

That is minus 60, which means overall you're minus 70.

Bad luck, girls. It was a speculation.

-Yes.

-But somebody will be very pleased with that,

at £70, I tell you. Anyway, what are you going to do?

-Are you going to go with the pigskin?

-Yes.

-It's a no-brainer, isn't it?

-We trust you.

-We love you, James.

A no-brainer, for a fiver, isn't it? It's got to make 75.

Um, he's estimated 30 to 40 on it. You paid a fiver.

He's estimating 30 to 40. I think we need a bit more faith!

Anyway, here we go.

We now go this time, the pigskin cigar case,

lot 249. Commission bids are on the book.

-£10 I'm bid.

-There should be.

-20. Five.

30. £30 I'm bid. £30. 35.

35 in the room now. At 35.

At 35. 35, 35, 35. In the room on my right at 35.

Sold at 35.

James, that is plus £30! Well done, old fruit.

That's a good profit. Sadly, though, it doesn't get you out of jail.

You are still minus £40.

It could be a winning score, so not a word, right?

-Don't talk to the Blues.

-We won't.

-Thank you. That's great.

Now, Dave, this is your big responsibility.

Yes? You spent £225 on Lester Piggott,

but I'm glad to tell you that the auctioneer has estimated

£200 to £300. He rates your bronze.

-Fine.

-He's sold them before. He says it's on the internet.

He's quite upbeat about it. He reckons you'll get 200,

so there's a small loss in there.

-There's a lot of horseracing fans here, I can tell.

-Can you?

Well, there's a lot of punters, that's true.

Anyway, first up is Lester Piggott. Is he going to romp home?

-Here he comes.

-Now to 262,

the Champion Finish there. Bit of interest on this lot as well.

-Champion Finish I have in at 130.

-Oh!

-140. 150.

160. 170. 180. 190.

200. £200 I'm bid, then. At 200.

Come on!

-At £200.

-Go on, giddy up!

-Little bit more.

Top of three bids at 200. At 200.

Room is out. Sold at 200.

-Oh, bad luck, David. £200.

-So close!

Minus 25.

We now go to 263,

the carved-bone pen paperknife. Nothing on my book on this one.

What's it going to be? £20? £20? £20, then. £20.

25. £30. 35.

35 I'm bid. Front row at 35.

35, 35, 35.

Front row at 35. Sold, then... All finished?

£35 is plus £15. Good girl! You're still minus ten.

Now we got the umbrella this time, lot 264,

with the carved tiger's-eye pommel, then.

Silver-mounted. Again, bit of interest on this. £20 I'm bid.

£20. Five. 30. Five. 40.

Five. 50. 60. 70.

£70. 80.

£80 I'm bid. £80, £80. 90.

-£90! Look at that!

-£90.

-How good is that?

-All done?

-Sold at 90.

-Well done, Thomas.

That is plus 40, which has saved your bacon quietly.

So you are plus 30 at the end of that.

What are you going to do about that blue bowl?

-Come on. It's £5.

-Yeah.

-Absolutely.

-You're only risking a fiver.

-Yeah.

-OK. We're going with the bonus buy,

-and here it comes.

-277 we go to,

which is the studio glass vase from the 1960s there. Blue, there.

Nothing on my books. I'm in your hands. £5?

See where we go. Five, six, seven. Seven, eight, nine.

-You naughty one, Thomas!

-12.

12 right away. 12. 15.

15. 18. 18 I'm bid. Standing on my right, at 18. £20.

£20, seated now. At £20.

£22. £22, the lady on my left.

22, 22. On my left, 22.

-Everyone else out? Coming in?

-£22.

It's plus 17. That's a handy profit to have, isn't it?

That is plus £47. You're going home with folding money, aren't you?

-We are!

-Listen, don't tell the Reds a thing.

-No, we won't.

Well, well, well! Had a nice time, girls and boys?

-Yeah.

-Yes? Talking to one another?

-No.

-No, not at all.

Well, this is the moment to reveal who the runners-up are.

I'm afraid the Reds,

despite the fact that both teams went with their bonus item.

Bonus buys boosted the profit arrangement.

You are nevertheless still minus 40, girls.

-We are.

-You was robbed, weren't you?

-We were.

-You was robbed by that teddy bear.

-Yes, we was.

-And by that horn beaker.

-Yes.

-They dragged you down.

-But they've not dragged you down in spirit!

-Not at all.

No. Well, we've loved having you on the show.

-We've had a wonderful time.

-Well, we've loved having you,

and you've enjoyed yourselves.

And well done for getting £30 profit on your £5 purchase!

-We're very proud of James.

-We're all very proud of you, James.

But the victors today, Cath and David, who take home £47.

-THEY GASP

-£47 of money!

There you go. You've got another couple coming here,

if you play your cards right, if I can get it out.

THEY ALL CHATTER

You risked it with Lester Piggott.

£40, though, on that umbrella found by you, Thomas,

which was a good result. £15 on the nice little pen

with the Stanhope in it,

and then the bubble bowl, another very good £5 purchase,

which made a profit of £17, which has been a miracle all round.

It certainly has, yeah. There's nobody more surprised than me.

Well, £47 is a tidy sum.

I won't ask what you're going to spend it on.

That should... Oh, Prince's Trust!

I think that's what that gesture means.

-THEY LAUGH

-Anyway, very good luck.

Join us soon for some more bargain hunting, yes?

THEY ALL SHOUT Yes!

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