Newark 29 Bargain Hunt

Well, I'm here and you're there. So let's go bargain hunting!

Welcome to the International Antiques and Collectors Fair

at the Newark and Nottingham Showground.

The sun is shining upon us,

but will it be shining upon our teams?

On today's hunt, the Red Team of Bill and Val

are advised by Paul Laidlaw.

Get in amongst it. You've got to look, touch.

While Jeremy Lamond will be leading Jeff and Sandra for the Blue Team.

HE PLAYS FANFARE You've done that before!

They've got one hour to shop for a profit,

and it looks like the women will be in charge. What's new?

If I like it, that's it.

Follow me.

-Don't let him buy that, Paul!

-That one?

-20, as well.

-No!

In charge of profits today

will be the Master of Ceremonies, Colin Young.

And I will take a visit to Northamptonshire.

Or is it America? Oh, dear.

Did they look a friendly bunch? I think so. Let's go and meet them!

-And here they are. Hello, everyone.

-ALL: Hello.

Now, Bill, tell me how you and Val met.

It was back in 1964, we both worked at the same factory.

A friend bet me five shillings,

25 pence in new money, that I couldn't get a date with her.

-And how many years have you been together?

-45.

-Have you?

Val, you had a pretty unusual maiden name, didn't you?

Yes, I did. My maiden name was Christmas.

And when I was at school, I used to get ribbed terribly.

One young guy said to me,

"Valerie, what's your middle name?" I said, "It's May."

So he said, "Oh, Very Merry!"

-Very Merry Christmas!

-After that, I was always called Very Merry Christmas!

-So, quite keen to get married to get rid of Christmas?

-I didn't mind it.

You grow up with it, so it doesn't matter.

-But you've got a few nicknames from your grandchildren.

-Yes.

-What's your nickname?

My name's Nana Duckboard.

Nana Duck...?

Duckboard. Because I collect ducks

and I used to call my grandchildren "my little duck" when they were small.

Bill, well, he's Blinky Bill, after an Australian...

-An Australian bear.

-Off the TV, a kiddies' programme.

-Yeah, yeah.

-No hair and big ears!

What will your tactics be, you two?

-Ooh... Buy what we like, you know?

-Yes.

I wouldn't buy it if I didn't think it would suit someone else.

-That's what you're going to go for?

-Yes.

-Bill, you'll do what you're told?

-I'll do what I'm told.

-Carry the bags.

-He doesn't do that!

Now, Sandra, how did you and Jeff meet?

I worked as a hairdresser many years ago,

and a friend that worked with me was getting married

and wanted a girl to sing at the reception.

She knew that I was a singer, but we needed someone to play the keyboard.

So she knew a friend that knew Jeff, working in a band previous.

We got together and put a few things together.

How did you become a singer?

Once again, through somebody at the salon. Her father was in a band

and he was wanting someone to front the band.

I went along to the auditions, I was only 16 at the time,

-and I managed to get the job.

-Very brave!

Jeff, you have been a fireman.

Any particular incidents that stick in your mind?

One that sticks in my mind is,

we got called to a lady that was stuck in handcuffs.

When we got there, she was handcuffed with her arms and legs together.

Unfortunately, she was naked. We had to use the utmost discretion.

What really scared us, there was a camera set up on a tripod, filming everything.

So we were a little bit scared.

We acted as professionally as we could and got out very quickly.

-Sandra, you've had to call Jeff out, too, haven't you?

-I did, Tim.

A few years back, when my little girl was small, I could smell fire in the kitchen.

I was on the phone, so I brought my little girl in.

-I actually realised that her nappy had run through.

-Oh.

As I walked through the kitchen door to see all the flames,

-my little pup had done a poo-poo on the floor...

-A double poo-poo moment.

-..and I went on my backside.

-Did you?

I was in a plaster cast. I'd just had my first spinal operation.

-Oh.

-So I crawl back to the hallway to get to the phone

and ring 999 to get the Fire Service out,

because my husband was on nights, you see.

I got the message and it was my own address!

-I drove extra quick that night!

-TIM LAUGHS

How do you think you'll get on as a team?

-As long as I do as I'm told...

-We'll be very well.

Seems to me that the men have had it all round with this lot!

-Anyway, here we go. £300, Sandra.

-Thank you.

-£300.

-Thank you.

-You know the rules.

Your experts await. Off you go! Very, very good luck.

-Are we looking for anything in particular?

-Not really.

I'd just like something that I like. If I like it, that's it.

-Sounds good. Bill?

-Same thing. If we like it, buy it.

-If it's cheap enough!

-I like that bit at the end!

Jeff and Sandra, here we are. Lots to go at. You've got the world at your feet, as it were.

The sun is not shining for us, so we'd better be quick.

-Let's go.

-OK. This way. Follow me.

Well, we can see who's going to be in charge today.

Get in amongst it. You've got to look, touch.

-If you see anything, just shout out.

-I will do.

That piano stool's quite a nice piece of furniture.

Look at the squirrel in the box. That's dreadful.

Not much fun for him, is it? Still, there are a lot of goodies here today, folks.

-Do you do glass at all?

-Oh, yes.

-Look at the form of that.

It looks like a shouldered decanter.

You look at the construction and the patination

and you know this wasn't bought on the high street yesterday.

The form's delicious. Feel the mass in that.

-Oh, yes.

-But label there...

-Murano!

-Venetian glass. Stylish thing.

They're not easy to sell, lamps.

It's one of those things, if you need a lamp, you've got a lamp

and you really need to be tempted big time to want to buy another.

-There's some weight on it.

-Do you like?

-It's all right, that.

-Can you help at all on prices?

-The best price on that would be 25.

-25.

It's not dear, but we're not talking about me taking it home.

We're talking about an auction.

It's going to be unpredictable, because lamps are.

But it's a piece of Murano glass.

If it came to the sale, I'd say it's worth 20 to 40 quid.

-Yes?

-So you're not a million miles off.

-Go for 20?

-Get a shave off it?

-If he would.

Is there any chance... You're over at the box!

-Any chance you could do 20?

-I'm afraid not.

-22?

-25's the best I can do.

-Always give the man the best price.

-The best price!

-You've heard how I feel about it.

-I like it. It's got weight to it.

-It's not a million miles off.

-Happy with that?

-We like it, we'll have it.

-You better say thanks to the man.

-Thanks, sir.

-Thanks, boss. Pleasure doing business.

That was easy enough.

Easy enough indeed, Paul. Well done, team.

The Blues, however, are browsing, not buying.

That's a little Derby vase.

Mm. Have a look at it, then.

-There we are.

-Thank you.

-It depends, really, if there's any damage to it.

-It's quite nice.

-That's cute.

-Is that old, or...?

-Oh, yes.

Would that have had a top on it, Jeremy?

Er, no. Because it's gilded at the top.

-I think you're looking at something that is early 19th century.

-OK.

-It depends really on...

-The condition.

-Yes.

-The condition is good.

-It looks fine.

-The cobalt has run a bit at the bottom.

But the handles are not damaged at all.

It really depends on what it has to be.

-It's nice.

-That is nice, yes.

-OK.

-30.

-30?

-Best we can do.

-30?

-That's smashing. We'll have that.

-That's our first one bought, then.

-Two more to go. Thank you.

Blue Derbyshire pottery for the Blue Team. How apt.

The Reds, meanwhile, are looking to the future.

-How much is this?

-20.

-Don't let him buy that, Paul!

-That one?

-20, as well.

-No!

-Looks like that one's nailed!

-I've been told!

I think Val may be getting her way today.

Hang on. The Blues haven't moved. Something has caught Jeremy's eye.

-That little brolly...

-Yes?

-Has it got a Stanhope in the handle?

-You've got to put it up to your eye.

-Oh, wow.

-Can you see?

-That's fantastic.

-Can you see?

-You can.

-Let's look.

-You don't need your glasses.

-Put it right up to your eye.

-That's amazing!

"A souvenir of Chester.

"King Charles's Tower. Made in France."

-What's it made of?

-That one...

-Is that ivory?

-Has it got it on it?

-It has.

-And also...

-It opens up...

-..it's a needle case.

-Oh! I'd like that myself!

-And how much is that?

-What has it got on it?

-It's 35.

-35.

-I'll do that for 30, then.

I do like that. That's really nice.

-So, both for 60?

-Both for 60.

-I think that's reasonable.

-That's very reasonable. We'll take those.

-Thank you.

Two!

Two items on one stall at one of Europe's largest antique fairs?

Let's hope they're not missing out!

All I need is my Spitfire.

Which I left at home this weekend!

Suits you, sir.

-Two objects in 20 minutes.

-Yes.

-That's good.

-The sun's out.

-Fantastic.

-The world is still our oyster.

-Very good.

Be careful. Those 40 minutes will fly by.

Trust the Red Team to look at red objects.

-It's a great colour. Didn't we say at the off, "If it grabs you..."

-It's very quirky.

What do you put in it, wine?

-It's purely a novelty. Purely a piece of frivolity.

-Oh, right.

-Price-wise, do you want to ask or not?

-BOTH: Yes.

What's your best price?

-Bottom line, £35.

-35.

-You've given us a fair discount.

-They'd fetch £100 years ago.

You're dead right.

-Feel it...

-35?

-It's got that "wow" factor, hasn't it?

-It's wild all right! Who'd got out and buy that?

-It's different. You couldn't go a little bit less?

-No.

-If I stroked your dog?

'Don't touch me!'

-Your choice.

-I don't really like it.

Oh, dear. Disagreements again in the Red Team.

-BOTH: Shall we think about that one?

-It's up to you.

-Could we come back later? Is that all right?

-If it's still here.

-If it's still here, yes.

If you come back in half an hour's time,

with 15 minutes left and it's gone...

-I'm in favour of you making a decision? Yea or nay?

-Do you like it?

-35.

-I like it. It's different.

-Go on.

-Couple of quid for luck?

-If you insist!

That'll do it!

Thank you very much.

Are you sitting at home banging on about how much better you could do than the contestants?

Well, why don't you apply to come on the show? Log on to...

..and have a go! You know you want to.

That's probably by a Staffordshire firm

called Samuel Alcock, who were known for this sort of ware.

-It'd be about 1825, 1830.

-It's quite old, then.

-But it's £95.

-Right.

-And it's also got a crack.

-Ahh!

Well spotted, Jeremy.

Keep your eyes peeled.

That clock is ticking, folks.

Indeed it is.

We know what it does, don't we?

That's to protect your lady's lovely complexion from the fierce heat of the fire.

-I really like it.

-£100.

It's no money for a nice William IV rosewood screen.

-But will that...?

-But how it's going to do at auction today, I don't know.

-That's a Japanese brocade Imari, it's called.

-That's lovely.

It's about 1900 in date.

-This is the legend of Kinko and the Carp.

-Oh, yes!

He's riding a giant carp.

-You're looking at maybe 30 or 40 pounds.

-That sounds good.

-Yes?

-It's worth asking the price.

-OK.

Could you tell me how much you'd like for that?

-110, Michael?

-Ooh, no.

-110. It's the last price.

-Right.

-It's too much.

-Too much for us. Thank you, anyway.

The Blues sure don't want to splash the cash today.

And the Reds...

-This is nice!

-SHE LAUGHS

Don't even go there, Reds.

There's only so many pipes you can have in a day.

This is a Royal Artillery bugle. You've got here the flaming grenade.

Can you blow it? Let's have a laugh.

HE PLAYS FANFARE Oh, he can, n'all!

-You've done that before!

-I've done it before.

You could see by the way you blew it.

That's very good. Nice sound to it.

-It's got something written...

-Are you bothered, Jeff?

-I like that.

You've got Foster & Co...

-Is that a good name?

-..who presumably were the makers.

-I think, what's interesting, are the regimental motifs.

-Yes.

Yes. Somebody who collects this kind of thing.

-It's an unusual object.

-Yes, it is.

-It depends what they want. If you're interested...

-I think that's really nice.

-I'll pop and have a word with him and see what he says.

-OK.

-What do you think a good price would be?

-Yes, what's a good price?

-About 25 quid.

-25 quid.

You'll have to do a bit of bartering, Jeff.

And don't blow the budget, Jeff.

The Reds, meanwhile, can't find anything even to haggle over.

Nothing grabs me today.

Mm. What price have you got, then, Jeff?

-It's up for 75. The best he'll do is 60.

-That's a shame.

-What do you think?

-It's not bad.

I think it is on the edge. But it is quite quirky. We may...

-We might just make it.

-Get military people in, we might just make a little profit.

-I think we should go for that. We haven't spent a lot of money.

-We haven't.

-So, yes, definitely.

-It's a chance, but let's have a go.

Gives you more money, as well, Jeremy.

-I'll give it a blow for success.

-Very good.

-NO NOISE COMES OUT

-Hm. Not so good.

Let's hope the Blues' last item has more success at the auction.

Have we any plans, or do we keep following our nose?

Follow our nose and...

-..go in the general direction.

-Just follow our nose and...

-Yonder!

-What's this, Paul?

-It's interesting, isn't it?

-It's 65 quid.

-I think it's a bit too mental.

-Is it?

Come on, Red Team, time is running out.

We need more of these bitsy stalls.

Bags of time.

No, you haven't, Bill!

-Shall we go back that way?

-OK, let's do it.

Maybe the Reds need sign posting to a bargain!

-How much are they?

-£100 for the back one and £300.

-Oh, my goodness!

-It's nice and clean.

-Isn't it? Yes.

Long shot here, and I'm pushing it, is there a bargain price on that?

This is me gambling, they're running out of time,

and me thinking, "What might a punter take a stab at in an auction room?"

-My best on that would be 35.

-I love it.

-And someone else might, as well.

-I like it.

-The petrolheads put them in the garage.

-That's right.

-The blue and yellow one?

-Yes.

I like that.

French enamelled sign,

automotive bulbs.

-They buy them like that?

-They do. They buy them worse than that.

-It'll fetch a good price.

-You decorate your garage.

-Oh, right.

-I quite like that. How much does he want?

-35!

-Shall we go for 30?

-If you could, you're not going to do too badly.

-You're out of time. What have we, three minutes or something?

-Oh, right.

-I like it.

-It's not my cup of tea, but...

-I wouldn't buy it!

-Me, either. It is a gamble, born of desperation.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Everything else you've bought was good to go, real merit.

That... It's us playing the game, really.

Just feel the quality of that!

I'll just have a word.

Go on, Bill, see what you can do.

-He's a good bargainer.

-Is there any chance we could do 30 on this?

-The very best is 32.

-32.

-And you've got yourself a deal.

-Go for it. We're out of time.

-Paul?

You know how I feel about it. You've got a minute to decide!

-It's a deal.

-Good man. Thank you.

Congratulations, Red Team. Done in the nick of time.

The hour's up and the shopping's over.

Let's find out how much the Red Team spent.

£25 bought the Murano glass lamp base.

They'll be really hoping to stick a profit in their pipe and smoke it.

And £32 went on that French automotive sign.

Looks a bit tinny to me.

Rumour has it that you didn't spend much cash.

-We didn't, no, sorry.

-Like, how little?

-£90.

-You're going to give me £90?

-No. Val's going to give you £210.

Good Lord! What's going on? What's the matter with you two?

-He wouldn't let me spend any more.

-Oh, yes?

-He's used to it!

-210 smackers, please.

-There you are.

-Thank you.

-Which is your favourite piece, Bill?

-I like the quirky pipe.

-The pipe.

-Is that going to bring the biggest profit?

-I think the Murano might.

-The Murano might.

-Mm.

-OK, fine.

-I don't know how to do this, Paul. There's an awful lot of cash there.

-Indeed!

£210. Are you going to blow the lot or...

Crystal ball territory, that, Tim. I just don't know.

I'll buy on quality and opportunity, not price.

OK. Well, nothing's changed, then!

-Good luck, folks!

-Thank you.

The Blue Team went for small items.

Firstly, the Derbyshire vase for £30.

Then they thought they could see money

in the Stanhope needle case.

And finally, they called in a profit charge with a bugle.

They'll need some practice, though, before the auction.

-Have you had a fantastic time?

-Absolutely marvellous.

-Really excellent time.

-Which is your favourite piece?

-The bugle.

-That's your favourite.

-Is that yours?

-No, I like the little vase.

That's nice. Small and dinky.

-A bit like your expert.

-Yes!

Buying the bugle, we've had a real blast, haven't we?

-We certainly have!

-As long as you wipe the mouthpiece.

-We did!

-How much did you spend?

-We spent £120.

-Is that all?

-Yes.

-Who's got the £180?

-There you go.

-Thank you, Jeffrey.

There we go. That's a tidy sum for you, Jeremy.

-Lovely.

-One or two bags of sweets there.

There's one or two things to look at.

Only about two million up and down these stalls!

-It's going to be difficult, though.

-There's a long way to go. But I'm sure I'll find somewhere.

No better person to have a go. Well done, Jeremy. Good luck, team.

Meanwhile, we're heading off to Sulgrave Manor.

Ever heard of it? Well, it's got a certain American connection.

-MUSIC: "The Star-Spangled Banner"

-So, why is that?

Well, here's a clue. Rather a large one at that.

Who's this? Well, it's George Washington,

the first President of the United States.

Morning!

And this is where his ancestors lived -

Sulgrave Manor.

George Washington's great-great- great-great-great grandfather,

Lawrence Washington,

built this place between about 1540 and 1560,

having done very well, as they say, in the wool trade.

In 1914, it was decided to form a trust

to buy the then-ruined manor,

restore it and hold it for all time

for the benefit of the British and American peoples.

But what I'm interested in are some of the historic contents.

One of the most significant objects in the collections at Sulgrave

is this portrait.

A portrait of George Washington

painted by Peale in 1772.

It shows him in his uniform

as "Colonel Commanding the Colonial Virginian Troops".

It's significant to Sulgrave because it was presented

by the National Society of Colonial Dames of America

and presented by them in 1915.

Who were these women?

Well, they are the direct descendants

of the inhabitants of the 13 original states

in the union of North America.

And as people who are incredibly proud of that tradition and antecedent,

it was appropriate that they should raise money

to buy an object as significant as this

to present to Sulgrave.

But this is the portrait, the iconic image,

that we always associate with George Washington.

It was painted by Gilbert Stuart.

And whilst Washington hated having his portrait painted,

he nevertheless understood

the importance of getting an iconic image out there

around his people in America and, indeed, around the world.

And hence, Gilbert Stuart, the artist,

produced about 130 versions of this portrait,

of which this is one of the originals.

The image that we all know and associate with George Washington

is, of course, this one,

which is Gilbert Stuart's portrait, but translated via a print,

therefore reversed, onto the dollar bill.

The big question today is, though,

is it going to be big bucks for our teams over at the auction?

Well, we've come 20 minutes down the A1 to Grantham

to be at Golding Young & Thomas Mawer's sale room.

Now, that is quite a mouthful. What's going on, Colin?

It is. The great news is, we've merged the two firms.

The bad news is that both firms have got very long established names from the 19th century

and we don't want to lose identities.

-So you welded them together.

-Absolutely, we bolted it together.

We'll look forward to a successful outcome as a result of your bolting!

Anyway, for our teams today, first up in this wacky mixture

is the Murano glass lamp.

It says Murano on the label, which I think is reassuring.

That's excellent news when you come to catalogue something!

The fact that it tells you what it is helps you along!

-So, what do you think it's worth?

-We've got an estimate at £25 to £40.

I think it won't race beyond the top end, but should land within those margins.

Very good, because they paid £25, which is promising.

Next, another piece of glass, but something very traditional,

these novelty cranberry pipes.

-How do you rate that?

-We've put a lowly 40 to 60.

They do not make the money that they used to, so that's where I've pitched it.

-That's quite a plain example, isn't it?

-It is a Plain Jane.

You need a bit of Vaseline on it,

or some other colour integration, just to make it a bit more exciting.

-But it is what it is.

-It is what it is. And quite fun.

Anyway, they only paid £33, so that's quite promising.

And then, lastly,

this not particularly attractive enamel...

It isn't enamel, it's a sort of painted tin sign.

Yes. Going to be masses of them out there in France.

Which is good news, because we don't see many over here.

There's a good chance some of the automotive and automobilia collectors may fancy this,

because it's probably not in their collection.

Maybe not. But to me, it looks as if it's been fired at by an air rifle.

Erm, it's rusty, it's dented,

it's losing its colour scheme, and I don't understand it.

-It may've dodged all the bullets. Let's hope it doesn't dodge all the bids!

-Well said!

-So, what is your estimate?

-25 to 40.

£32 paid.

Anyway, depending on the fate of the sign,

they may or may not need their bonus buy,

but let's go and have a look at it.

Guys, you gave Paul Laidlaw £210 of leftover lolly.

A phenomenal sum!

-Too right!

-Right!

-What did you buy, Paul?

-I bought...

-..that.

-Oh, wow.

A rare beast. What's your first impression?

-Don't say, "Muddy brown, horrid vase."

-No, I quite like it. Is it a name?

Look at the name.

-Doulton. Lambeth stoneware.

-Oh, Royal Doulton.

These are actual specimens that are impressed into the mould,

so the impression that you get in the formed piece

-is of a twig, a leaf.

-Oh, right!

That's not the hand and the eye of the artist,

only in the selection and the placing.

-I adore that. I think that strikes a chord...

-How old?

-110 year old.

-110?

-120 perhaps.

I think that strikes a chord with the market.

How much do you think this will fetch?

I think it will make £40 to £80.

I paid £40. I think it's a banker.

I've only seen a handful in a decade. You don't trip over these.

I adore it.

I like it. I would have that.

-Good.

-It's very nice.

There we go. I think you sold it pretty well!

Unfortunately, our teams are not the buyers.

Your moment to select will be after the sale of your first three items.

But for the audience at home,

let's find out what the auctioneer thinks about Paul's pot.

It's a pretty standard item, isn't it?

I've seen one or two of these over the years.

-Is it going to be Doulton, by any chance?

-Well, yes!

Lo and behold, it is. Fairly standard piece of stoneware.

A lot come through the sale rooms,

they never really set collectors alight, but plenty people still bid for them.

It's a bonus buy. There's potentially quite a lot riding on this.

-What's your estimate?

-I would estimate that at 40 to 60.

I think it'll be within those sort of margins.

£40 paid by that cunning monkey Paul Laidlaw. Let's hope he's right.

That's it for the Reds. Now for the Blues.

And what a mixture again. First up is the Imari pot.

-Too small for ashes and too big for perfume, I think.

-Yes.

It's a bit of an odd size, isn't it? Hardly a statement piece for your mantelpiece.

But having said that, good factory, nice design and in good order.

-How much?

-25 to 40.

£30 paid. So that's OK. That's right in the middle.

What about the Stanhope needle case?

Those sort of things do have quite a collector's market.

But what I have found is, we get a lot of interest in them,

but never any serious money being paid.

I think it's one of those collectables

people really went for in the '60s and '70s,

at the beginning of that Victoriana boom.

It is. That was the sort of thing that when the people collecting dolls and high Victoriana,

these were lovely accessory pieces they were quite happy to spend a fair amount of money on.

So, how much do you think today?

-Er, well, 25 to 40, yet again.

-£30 paid.

-This is getting a bit repetitive, isn't it?

-It is!

-What about the bugle?

-Ah, the bugle! The good news here is,

we got an enormous amount of arms and militaria in the sale.

So if it's going to do well in any sale, this is going to be the one.

Good. Is there anything special about it?

It's a fairly standard model. Fully stamped up.

And common, or garden values on these are £40 to £60.

Well, we paid twice what we paid for the previous two items, ie, £60.

-Pushed the boat out, then.

-Pushed the boat out.

But it's at the very top of your estimate, which makes me nervous.

They'll need their bonus buy. Let's go and have a look at it.

Jeff and Sandra, this is your moment to discover

what Jeremy spent your £180 on.

If I give that a yank, that might help you.

BOTH: Ooh, a microscope.

I was looking round and I thought, "What do I need to help me look for something good?"

And here it is. It's a microscope

made by a very famous firm called Beck.

Now, the microscope is not an uncommon Beck model,

it's almost a student microscope,

but it's quite an early 20th century one.

Although it's different to the one on the lid,

-what I think collectors will enjoy is...

-The box itself.

You very rarely see a box for these things.

-Right, OK.

-How much did you pay for it?

What do you think?

-£200? £300?

-£58?

-50, 60 pounds?

-More than that.

-£70.

-70?

-Not much more.

And how much do you think it'll go for?

Probably a little bit more than that.

-Yes?

-If people see this box and like it...

-Will it magnify the profit?

-I hope it will!

Boom, boom!

OK, hang on to those thoughts.

Meanwhile, let's find out

what the auctioneer thinks about Jeremy's microscope box.

This looks a bit, er, plain and ordinary to me.

It does. Let's hope it's a little bit more exciting inside.

-Oh, dear.

-Not really, is it?

-No.

I was hoping for something a little bit more exciting - nice high-sheen brass,

nice combination of good casting on there.

Fairly standard model.

That box looks to me

as if it's made out of orange wood, doesn't it?

-It does.

-Just knocked together, which is not a good sign.

No. Fairly low-grade in terms of boxing.

-Fairly standard...

-Look at that interior! It's a bit of old rag glued to the side.

We've got to put a positive note on this now.

I think that'll do £40 to £60.

You're a marvellous man, Colin!

£70 was paid by Jeremy for that. He reckons it's going to make a profit.

-Hm...

-You never know. Maybe the team won't go with it.

-Let's hope not!

-Let's hope not.

-You're taking our sale today.

-Indeed.

We're in safe hands!

-Val, Bill, how are you feeling?

-Excited!

-Are you?

-Nervous, but excited.

-What have you got to be nervous about?

-I don't know!

-You've gone very quiet!

-I know!

-You're not nervy, are you, Bill?

-No.

-Confident?

-Very confident.

-That's what I like to hear.

-You're not standing next to THE Paul Laidlaw for nothing.

-He's the man.

First lot up is the Murano glass lamp base. Here it comes.

The Murano green glass lamp. Who's going to start me at £50?

-30 to go, then, surely? £30? Take £20 if we have to.

-Oh, no!

£20 bid. Two anywhere else now?

Come on, come on, come on.

Two on the net. 22 bid. Five anywhere else now?

22. Five. Now five.

28 now. 28 bid.

25 is what you paid.

I don't believe this...

Going at £25.

£25. It's just made its low estimate.

-That's good.

-Lot number 51

is a Victorian cranberry glass novelty pipe.

Who's going to start me at £40? 30 to go, then. £30?

-£20?

-Come on.

-Start me at 10.

-Oh, dear.

-£10 bid.

12 anywhere else?

12 now? Look at what we're selling, it's that big!

10 bid. 12 bid. 15 bid. 18 bid. 20. 22.

25. 28. No, 25 bid. 28 anywhere else?

I don't like the look of this.

..coming in on the net? No, just hovering. 25.

Eight anywhere else? 25.

Front row has it. It's going to sell, make no mistake, at £25.

-Minus £8. Nothing like the 40 to 60 estimate.

-No.

Lot number 52, a French enamel Norma automotive lamp.

Good-looking automotive lamp there. Who's going to start me at £50?

30 to go, then?

-Come on.

-20? 10?

10. 12 now. 12 bid.

15 bid. 18 bid. 18 bid. 20 now. 22 bid.

25. 28. 28. 30.

£30 bid, surely? 30. 30 bid.

32 again now? At 30 and two?

-I don't believe it.

-£30 bid.

Two as a last call? No? We sell this at £30.

That's brilliant. I thought it'd make less than that.

That's minus £2. Overall, you are minus £10.

-Which is nothing.

-Nothing at all.

-Absolutely nothing.

-What are you going to do about the leaf bowl?

-We're going for it.

-Definitely?

-Yes.

It could be a winning score, minus ten. It could be.

-We're going to make a profit on this.

-Got to trust Paul.

-The decision's made, yes?

-Yes.

-You're going with the bonus buy.

I can now reveal that the auctioneer's estimate was 40 to 60.

Paul paid 40, so the auctioneer thinks it should make a profit.

Lot 56, Royal Doulton pottery spherical vase.

Nice naturalistic piece.

Will it £100 of anybody's money? 100?

Half it, then. 50?

-Come on.

-You weren't listening, obviously. £50, anybody?

OK, 40. Put me straight at £40 for it.

30 I've got. 32 now? Do I see it?

£30 bid. 32 anywhere else now? 35. 35. 38.

38 on the net. 40. Back in the room now. No? At 38.

Net buyers have it. All the Doulton collectors queued up on the net.

But they've all stopped.

38 bid. Any more now?

All done and finished. Net buyer has it at 38.

It's a miserable price. All done and finished at £38.

Bad luck, Paul. Minus £2 on that.

-Which means, overall, you are minus £12. Which is disappointing.

-It is.

Look at him itching with the injustice of it only making £38.

But that is the name of the game. You can't foretell what these things are going to do.

Like I say, minus £12 could be a winning score.

-Don't say a word to the Blues.

-We won't.

-Well done, team.

Are you nervous at all, Sandra, about anything in particular?

I think the bugle, I'm a little bit worried about. But you never know.

-Are you perfectly happy, Jeff?

-I'm thrilled. I think the bugle could do well.

First up is going to be the Imari palette wee pot. Here it comes.

Lot number 71 is an early 19th century Derby two-handled vase.

30 to go. 30 bid?

£30 bid in the back row. 32 now, do I see? 32. 32. 35.

35. 35. 38. Do I see 40?

40 bid. 42 now.

And five. 45 bid. 48 bid. 50.

£50 bid, do I see now? And five. 55. 60 now? 60?

-60 now, surely?

-60.

-55 now. Back in the room.

I'll take eight as a last call. Back row has it at 55. All done at £55.

-£25!

-Fantastic!

-£25.

-You must be over the moon.

-Thrilled to bits. That's brilliant.

Lot number 72 is a Victorian bone Stanhope.

It's in the form of a carved parasol.

Who's going to start me at £50?

-SANDRA: Come on, ladies.

-£50 for the Stanhope?

£30, anyone?

-Uh-oh.

-Start me at ten. We'll call it No Hope.

£10? Straight in. 10. 12 on the net.

15 bid. 18 bid. 20, surely?

-No bids in the room? 20 bid. 22 bid.

-That's no money, is it?

25 bid. 28 bid. Go on, have another one.

Go on, have another one.

28 bid. 30 anywhere else? Lady's bid, second row, has it.

28. You're out, on the net. We're selling in the second row at £28.

-£28. That's minus £2.

-That's not too bad.

It should've done better. Anyway, here comes the bugle.

..next up is the Royal Artillery...

This is where we lose the lot.

Who's going to start me at £50 for it? £40, anybody?

-30? 20 to go.

-He's going the wrong way, Tim.

£10? 10 with you, madam, your bid.

12 now, do I see? £10 bid.

12 bid. 15 bid. 18 bid.

18 on the net now. 18 bid. £20 a bid, surely?

-Do I see 20? Two now. Two bid.

-Come on.

Lady's bid at 22. 25 now, surely?

-All the net buyers have gone away. Last call, then.

-Come on!

It's more like the last post. 25. Fresh bidder. 25. 28 now.

Has that come as a blow, madam?!

Make it six. Go on!

-Come on.

-26 now, do I see?

-I'm desperate. Actually, I'm not. Somebody else is.

-You bet they are!

25 bid. Selling all done at £25.

-25...

-He worked it, didn't he?

-He really worked for that.

That is minus £35. That is bad luck. You were plus 23.

Which means, overall, you're now minus 12.

What are you going to do about the microscope? Minus 12 could be a winning score.

-It could be. What are you going to do?

-We're going to go with it.

-We're going to go with the bargain buy.

-You're definitely going to?

-Yes.

-Full confidence in Jeremy.

-Here it comes.

Lot number 77

is the Beck student monocular microscope in a fitted case.

What shall we say for this one? Who's going to start me at £50?

£40.

-£30 to go, then? £30 bid.

-Ooh, ooh!

32, do I see? Cracking lot, this. 32 now? Have a close look at it.

32 on the internet. 35? 38 now? 38 bid.

38 bid. 40. 40 bid. 42 now, do I see?

-42 bid. 45 bid. 48 now. 48? No.

-Keep going. Keep going.

45 back in the room. At £45 bid, is it coming in now?

48 bid. £50 bid.

55 again now. 55 bid.

-55 now. No? £50. We're back in the room.

-Come on.

Going at 50. All done. Sold at £50.

-Bad luck, team. That is minus 20.

-Never mind.

Which means, overall, you're minus £32.

-The big thing here is, don't talk to the Reds.

-We shan't.

Well, teams, happy, are we? You're looking very smiley!

-I take it you've not been chatting?

-ALL: No.

Not about the scores, anyway.

Well, it's no secret to the audience that today is a tale of losses all round,

it's just the scale of the losses.

The team with the largest losses today...are the Blues.

-No way!

-Aww!

I'm sorry about that!

-Bad luck. Have you enjoyed yourself?

-Very much so.

Sorry it's turned out with this result.

The victors today, who win by only losing £12,

are the Reds! Which is rather brilliant, isn't it?

-All minus scores, but tiny minus scores through it all.

-Yes.

So you managed to minimalise your losses.

Happy days. Happy teams.

Join us soon for some bargain hunting, yes?

ALL: Yes!

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