Episode 7 Hole in the Wall


Episode 7

Annabel Croft, Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle and TV presenters Sam and Mark join captains Austin Healey and Joe Swash. Presented by Anton Du Beke.


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Transcript


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'This is Hole In The Wall. Now, please welcome your host,

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'a man who's spent hours getting into shape for tonight's show -

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'it's Anton Du Beke.'

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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Welcome to Hole In The Wall, the show in which you get to see your favourite celebrities

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like you've never seen them before - underwater!

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Talking of celebrities, we have four of the finest waiting backstage,

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raring to get at their walls and win a very handsome £10,000 for charity.

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But, frankly, it would be foolish introduce our celebrities

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without first introducing their captains.

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-What d'you say? Shall we meet them?

-AUDIENCE: Yes!

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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the steely Austin Healey

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and the swish Joe Swash!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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CHEERS

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Whoo-hoo!

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-Hello, Anton.

-Nice to see you, nice to see you. How are you?

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-I'm very well, thank you.

-Are you all right?

-I feel very...

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What a beauty - you almost cleared the pool.

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-I've been practising for weeks, doing that.

-Austin,

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do you go through any specialised workout routines for this show?

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When I saw Joe and the shape he was in,

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I decided that I would go to the gym...

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have a coffee, a bacon roll and then go home.

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Because you've got to stay in touch with him.

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I was just born this way. Don't be jealous.

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Well, the celebrities have been poured into their all-in-one silver romper suits

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and are ready to rock and roll. So, let's meet 'em.

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Joining Austin tonight, Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle

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and from CBBC, Mark Rhodes!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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What a lovely couple.

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And on Joe's team, television presenter Annabel Croft

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and Mark's alter-ego, it's Sam Nixon!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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Mark, you and Sam are clearly big mates,

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but are you going to put your friendship to one side tonight?

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Friendship is out the window, mate. That's it. It's game over, now.

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Getting in silver. Silver suit, yes. Austin, my boy, yes.

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Yeah! Right there.

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-Sam?

-Oh, yes. He's out of here. He's out of the water.

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Here's how it works. To win the points, players have to get through

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a hole in a wall that's moving at great velocity towards them.

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If they fail to make the shape, the wall will show them no kindness

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and will hurl them unceremoniously into the dark depths of our pool.

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The teams will lock horns over five increasingly difficult rounds

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for the sole privilege of gaining control of, brace yourselves,

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-the Great Wall!

-AUDIENCE: Ooh!

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That is the monster that has to be vanquished

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in order to win that £10,000 for charity.

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So, let battle commence. Let's play Hole In The Wall!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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Round One features one wall, one hole and one celebrity.

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-So, Joe.

-Yes?

-You're up first.

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It's the only time you've got a chance to lead.

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You've just started and you're on my case already.

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-Who are you going to choose?

-I thought about this one

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and I know the next one's Captain's Mate

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and I don't want to do that to Sam, I want to do that with Annabel.

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-So, I want to save that one and send Sam up there.

-Sam.

-Yeah?

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-Good luck, mate.

-Thanks.

-Come here, my love.

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-Are you ready to get in shape?

-Yes.

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-All right, step up to the play area.

-Go on, Sam!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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And bring on the Wall!

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ALL: 3, 2, 1...

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Lean back! Lean back!

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No chance! No chance, in he goes!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERS

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Did you see that? Experience, that is, experience. Jonathan!

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A rip roaring start for the reds, Anton.

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The lean back shape is fairly simple for Sam, but it's all about

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controlling those tummy muscles to allow for the optimum back bend.

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Then something strange happens to Sam and he turns into a sea lion.

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He performs a wobble shuffle across the play area.

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Sam the sea lion's happy to stay there, so there's no Watergate

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for Nixon this time round.

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-A few dance moves in there!

-Extra points?

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If it was down to me you'd have extras for that.

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I rather liked that. 10 points!

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All right, Austin? Who's going to face the first wall for you?

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Well, at times of need it's always great to have a world champion,

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-European champion gymnast on your team.

-Marvellous!

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But you can use...

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I'm not sure we can find a wall hard enough for you.

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-Are you ready to get in shape?

-I am indeed, yes.

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-OK, well step up to the play area.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Bring on the wall!

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3, 2, 1...

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Yes! Yes!

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You know what, right?

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THEY ARGUE

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You get the world champion and I get Sam!

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What's that about?

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She didn't even touch it. Not one little bit.

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-Yeah, I know. I see it now.

-She's doing every wall.

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-Well done, Beth. That was brilliant.

-Don't touch her, she's magic.

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-I don't want her magic to rub off.

-Jonathan, oh!

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A perfect wall position.

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Beth is Great Britain's most successful gymnast ever

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and if she continues like that, she could become a Hole champion too.

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Surely another ambition realised?

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A golden start for the golden girl as Beth opens her account

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with a textbook display of split serenity.

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It looks like she's lost her remote control under the sofa

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as she gets right down to have a rummage.

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She doesn't find anything other than 10 points for her team.

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-10 points!

-Yes!

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At the end of that round the scores on the floor are...

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level pegging. 10 points each!

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Our next step on the journey is round two. It's Captain's Mate.

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Arr, my hearties!

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Captain's Mate sees a Captain and a celebrity team mate

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attempt to win 20 points as they tackle the wall together, yes?

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Think of it as going out on a blind date,

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-because tonight one of the players will be blindfolded.

-Oh, what?!

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So, Joe. If you'd be so kind as to pop these on Annabel.

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Yes! my pleasure! Annabel, you hold the front.

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You're all right. You're in safe hands.

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Are you both ready to get in shape?

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-I am, anyway!

-LAUGHING

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-Step up to the play area.

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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-Bring on the wall!

-3, 2, 1...

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No, lean down. Lean down.

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No, no!

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Jonathan, I'm not sure that was perfect. What do you think?

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Well, Anton, no.

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Not sure we witnessed perfection there, but we did witness protection

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as caring Joe can see the look of fear on Annabel's face.

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Both players lose sight of the shape they should be making.

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Annabel had a good excuse.

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But Joe should have stood by his woman and not sat on her.

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-He tries to talk the wall out of hitting them...

-No, no!

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But Joe and Annabel are so low down, even the wall can't really get them.

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While they're obviously out of their depth, they stay out of the deep.

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Well, you stayed dry and you made half the shape, so 10 points!

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Yes!

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-So, Austin?

-Please tell me I'm not putting them on.

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Yes, you're putting them on.

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Please, Anton!

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You've been nasty to me all series.

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All right, look... No, no...

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I'm going to give them to Mark.

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But Mark, you actually have to put them on Austen.

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-Are you both ready to get into shape?

-We are!

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Come on! Step up to the play area!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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There they go! Stop shouting at us!

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And bring on the wall!

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ALL: Three-two-one...

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ALL: Whoo!

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We need to get in the line, get in the line. Just do that.

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That'll do. Kneel back a little.

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This is a favourite of ours - the bottom pincher wall.

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But Mark Rhodes leads Austin on a road to nowhere here.

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They start off badly and it gets worse.

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Just do that. Just do that.

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Mark's initial positioning of Austin is totally skew-whiff.

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-His instructions aren't much better.

-Arm down. Kneel back a little.

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No-one came out of this one looking good and the pool claims

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one captain, one mate and one complete wall.

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Stand up straight, in the middle of the wall where there's no hole?

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Granted, I may have made a mistake. I should have gone with Beth, sorry.

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-"Stand up straight, move back a bit." Move back a bit, so you really hurt yourself!

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You didn't take the full brunt of it, then.

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-Well, I've searched high and low for some points for you...

-Come on!

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-..alas, I couldn't find any.

-Come on!

-No points!

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No points?!

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At the end of Captain's Mate, the scores are...

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Austin's team, 10 points. But in the lead, Joe's team, with 20 points!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Remember, there's £10,000 for charity to be won tonight.

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Right now, it's time for Team Wall.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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OK, well, they've doubled up and now it's time for them to treble up

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as we challenge all three team members to face one wall.

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There are 30 points to be gained if they all get safely through.

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But of course, if they all end up in the pool, we could be in big trouble.

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But don't worry, we've taken precautions.

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LAUGHTER

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It's like a row of Mary Poppins. Joe, you're up first!

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-Have you got faith in your team?

-I've got so much faith in my team

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-that it's...it's inspirational.

-Ooh! Big word!

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-Are you ready to get into shape?

-Yes, I am, Anton!

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Yes! Step up to the play area!

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-Are you ready?

-Yes!

-It's time to bring on the wall!

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ALL: Three-two-one...!

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ALL: Whoo!

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Stay away from the wall, Joe!

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Jonathan? Come on, Jonathan.

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Let's take a look. Annabel had the trouble-free hole.

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In fact, she had so little to do that she fell asleep.

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That bang on the head should wake her up, though!

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Sam and Joe decided to synchronise their two-footed jumps in an attempt

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to gain extra points for artistic merit.

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Sam completes his with a quarter turn flourish, but Joe gets a mammoth

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360 degree spin... with a little help from the wall.

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So, hats off to the reds. They're left jumping for joy.

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Now listen - I thought they did marvellously well.

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He went up in the air, did a turn and came down.

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-He landed in the playing area - 30 points!

-Yes!

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-Get in there.

-Austin? How are you going to inspire your team?

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-I think our inspiration is here.

-The Beth of Tweddell?

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-We're going to follow the Beth.

-Whatever you do, Beth.

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-Whatever she does.

-Oh, yes? You reckon?

-Yeah, that's true.

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-Are you ready to get in shape?

-We're as ready as the Three Amigos.

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Why can't you have a routine?

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-All right, step up to the play area.

-Come on, team.

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And bring on the wall!

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Let me tell you something, that's the first time we've ever had a finishing position.

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-LAUGHTER

-Jonathan, surely that's perfect?

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Give us the points, Jonathan, it was gorgeous!

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Gorgeous indeed, Austin. Beth is leading from the front once again,

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as Austin and Mark make up for their appalling last wall

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with leans that mean a smooth passage.

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Beth looks dismissively at the wall,

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but takes centre stage, and what should be an awkward leap is made to look easy.

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Ever the perfectionist, Beth completes this perfect execution

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the way she's been trained to do.

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-Gold!

-Perfect.

-G-o-ld. P-er-fect.

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-30 points!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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After that round, the scores on the floor are...

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Oh! It's getting closer. Austin's team bring up the rear with 40 points,

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but in the lead is Joe's team with 50 points.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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We're having a fantastic battle for wall supremacy today,

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but who will come out on top and earn the right to face the Great Wall?

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-GONG

-Who keeps doing that noise?!

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It's chained down at the back at the moment, being fed small celebrities like Jimmy Krankie and Mini-Me.

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So, let's get on with the next round.

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-And Austin Healey!

-It's Wonder Wall!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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OK, in this round a question and two possible answers are written on the wall.

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In the unlikely event of them choosing the right answer,

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they'll win the equivalent of their combined IQ in points.

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20! So, Austin, you are placed second of the moment,

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so you get to go first. Who are you going to choose?

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-I suggest Beth and Mark.

-Good choice and you are going to work it out?

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I'm gonna go and get warm, actually.

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-All right team, are you ready to get in shape?

-Yes!

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-LAUGHTER

-All right, step up to the play area.

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Come on, Blue team.

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Bring on the wall!

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AUDIENCE CHANT

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CHEERING AND SHOUTING

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He did try and stop it with his face, but he still managed to get through.

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Jonathan, how clever are they?

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A little brain-teaser for the Blues here.

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If Kara's father has five children and we name four of them, then Kara herself is the remaining 5th child.

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Mark was foxed by the question and nearly fell into the trap

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of going for the vowels option of A, E, I, O, U.

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Beth seems happy to agree, but it is Austin who steers his team towards the correct answer.

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Both Beth and Mark still have to make it through the door, which is easier said than done,

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as Mark proves by almost taking his head off, and Beth tumbles to safety.

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What can I tell you? Absolutely perfect, 20 points.

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Yes, in the lead, in the lead!

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Right, Joe, which of the players on your team look like they paid attention at school?

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Me and Sam.

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I am going to give you another chance to think about that.

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Who are you going to nominate?

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I am going to nominate myself and Sam,

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because I think Annabel would do better on the questions.

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-Are you ready to get in shape?

-We are ready!

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Step up to the play area.

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No touching the opposition! Points away.

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Bring on the wall!

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AUDIENCE CHANTS

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CHEERING AND SHOUTING

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So lucky you didn't listen to Annabel.

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Jonathan, reverse psychology on Hole In The Wall?

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Who knew it would come to this, Anton?

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It's like a kid's playground out there with all the shouting and hullabaloo!

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No one really knew if they were shouting the wrong answer or the right answer,

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There are 21 dots on a die, so 42 on two dice.

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Joe sucks his thumb for inspiration.

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Annabel sends the team the wrong way.

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-And while Austin thinks he's confusing the already baffled player...

-42!

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42!

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..the dice have rolled in the Reds' favour on this one.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Well! Oo-ooh!

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-I'm so happy!

-Getting close, 10 points!

-Wh-what?

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Just kidding. 20 points!

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At the end of that mental round, the scores on the floor are...

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Ooh, it's a real beauty.

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60 points to Austin's team, but in the lead is Joe's team, 70 points!

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So, we head into the round that will decide

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which of our teams will soon be going into unarmed combat

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with the daddy of them all, The Great Wall.

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AUDIENCE: Ooh!

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It's a big ask, but it has to be done

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if someone is going to win that £10,000 for charity.

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The decider is a brutal round that has foxed many a wall grappler.

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It's Anton's...Twist.

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All right, the walls in this round come with a devilish twist

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that can drive men not only to distraction but also into the pool.

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Consequently, we are offering 30 whole points

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for a successful passage.

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Austin, you need the points most, so, for you,

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one of my all-time favourites, which you're going to have to play.

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You're going to be playing it

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with someone who's not actually in the room yet.

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Yes, it's mystery guest round.

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Shall we find out who it is?

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AUDIENCE: Yes!

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Mystery guest, come in, please.

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Erin Boag, ladies and gentlemen.

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-How are you, you all right?

-I'm good, yeah.

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Excited?

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-Yes.

-Are you excited to be teamed up with handsome boy again?

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-You're going in the pool.

-I'm not going in the pool.

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I don't care what the hole is, you're going right in that pool.

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-So, Dream Team, are you ready to get in shape?

-Yes.

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-We should enter the play area in a special way, Anton.

-Should we?

-Step up to the play area.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Bring on the Wall!

0:22:400:22:41

ALL: 3, 2, 1!

0:22:410:22:45

-Oh, shut up!

-Go that way.

0:22:480:22:50

-Take a run up.

-OK, ready?

0:22:500:22:52

1, 2, 3!

0:22:520:22:54

# I've had the time of my life

0:22:590:23:03

# I've never felt this way before... #

0:23:030:23:08

Jonathan, were they a match made in heaven?

0:23:080:23:10

'Well, Erin knows she's in safe hands here.

0:23:110:23:13

'She spent months dancing with Austin in the past,

0:23:130:23:16

'but this is a dance for three as our wall wants a piece of the action.'

0:23:160:23:19

-Take a run up.

-'They're quickly into position

0:23:190:23:22

and they both know that only a last minute lift will give them a chance.

0:23:220:23:25

1, 2, 3.

0:23:250:23:27

And they're oh, so close.

0:23:270:23:29

Austin has Erin up where she belongs but her legs are out of shape,

0:23:290:23:34

and it's quite a fall for the pair

0:23:340:23:36

as they go from ballroom straight into wet room.

0:23:360:23:39

APPLAUSE

0:23:390:23:41

-I thought that was... Did you think that was a good effort?

-ALL: Yes!

0:23:410:23:45

-What, what?!

-It wasn't bad, was it?

0:23:450:23:47

He got her up there, didn't he, and he held her there for a few seconds.

0:23:470:23:50

-You didn't really point your toes.

-I'm sorry.

0:23:500:23:52

So I can't give you maximum points, but I'm going to give you 10 points.

0:23:520:23:55

10? Come on!

0:23:550:23:57

So at the moment, it's a tie.

0:23:570:24:00

-ALL: Ooh!

-This is very exciting.

0:24:000:24:04

So, Joe, one of my favourite twisted rules for you, my dear.

0:24:040:24:10

-Yes, my darling.

-It's a one-player wall

0:24:100:24:12

-and they have to get through one hole. But there's more.

-Woo!

0:24:120:24:17

The twist is, while they're attempting to make the shape,

0:24:170:24:20

Austin's team, and this will thrill him, will be pelting you with balls.

0:24:200:24:25

-Yes, get in!

-All of these balls!

0:24:250:24:29

There are 30 points up for grabs here, so it's up to you.

0:24:310:24:35

Who's got the bottle for this game?

0:24:350:24:38

-So it involves people chucking balls at our head?

-Yes.

0:24:380:24:41

Yes, or any other part of the body they want.

0:24:410:24:43

-Crofty, do you want to have a go?

-Thank you very much.

0:24:430:24:46

-Yeah, I'm going to put a lady up.

-Aw, Annabel Croft, how kind of you.

0:24:460:24:50

-Come here, my darling.

-My heart rate has gone up.

0:24:500:24:54

You've just got a little nervous now. That's not very gentlemanly,

0:24:540:24:58

putting you there in front of all these...

0:24:580:25:00

He's gonna grit his teeth, I know what he's like.

0:25:000:25:02

-Are you ready to get into shape?

-Yes.

0:25:020:25:04

All right, step up to the play area.

0:25:040:25:05

Are you gonna walk with me? CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:050:25:07

Austin, to your balls, please, sir.

0:25:120:25:15

-I'm scared!

-You can do it!

0:25:150:25:18

All right, bring on the wall!

0:25:180:25:21

Turn round! Forward! Forward!

0:25:300:25:32

Oh, no!

0:25:360:25:37

Jonathan, how close was she!

0:25:390:25:43

Oh! Poor Annabel!

0:25:440:25:46

She's used to facing balls,

0:25:460:25:47

but she's always had a tennis racquet to hit them back.

0:25:470:25:50

Both Austin and Beth are bang on the money with their throwing,

0:25:500:25:53

and Annabel forgets about the hole, just to avoid the balls.

0:25:530:25:57

She goes one way, then the next. Then back again.

0:25:570:25:59

Then back again, again.

0:25:590:26:01

She's caught in no-man's land

0:26:010:26:03

and this is one game where she wishes that rain had stopped play

0:26:030:26:06

before she fell into our big puddle.

0:26:060:26:09

That was hopeless, wasn't it?

0:26:130:26:14

-No, it wasn't.

-I'm really sorry.

0:26:140:26:16

It was fantastic. It deserves one point.

0:26:160:26:18

It deserves one point, she made half a good shape.

0:26:180:26:21

-He's chucking balls at your head.

-You've just bashed me on the head.

0:26:210:26:25

It hit you by mistake. Your head got in the way.

0:26:250:26:27

So he chucked a ball, it hit me on the head,

0:26:270:26:29

and he was rude about my head? That's one point away.

0:26:290:26:32

-CHEERING

-No! No!

0:26:320:26:35

One point off. No points for you.

0:26:350:26:37

-No!

-Oh, look what that's done to the scores!

0:26:370:26:40

I can tell you that with 69 points,

0:26:400:26:43

Austin has done better than expected and finished second.

0:26:430:26:47

But with 70 points and just in control of the Great Wall,

0:26:470:26:51

it's Joe's team!

0:26:510:26:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:520:26:55

The Great Wall is the greatest of the great and let me tell you why.

0:27:000:27:03

It's a super speed wall for three players

0:27:030:27:05

that they all, without fail, have to get through

0:27:050:27:08

in order to win that £10,000 for charity.

0:27:080:27:11

Now, sometimes it's quite easy, but other times it's viciously hard.

0:27:110:27:15

An important fact, because Joe, it will undoubtedly have a bearing

0:27:150:27:19

-on whether you play or pass.

-Yes.

0:27:190:27:22

-Yes.

-But furthermore, if you face the wall and fail,

0:27:220:27:26

the £10,000 will automatically go to Austin's team.

0:27:260:27:30

What do you think they should do, audience?

0:27:300:27:32

-What do you reckon?

-ALL: Play!

0:27:320:27:34

-What do you reckon?

-ALL: Play!

-Gamble!

0:27:340:27:36

Play, they're saying play. What are you gonna do?

0:27:360:27:38

I'm gonna go with the crowd and I think we'll play.

0:27:380:27:41

We're going gonna play!

0:27:410:27:42

-We're gonna play!

-All right! Are you ready to get in shape?

0:27:420:27:45

I am ready to get in shape, Anton.

0:27:450:27:47

-Team, are you ready to get in shape?

-Yes, yes.

-Come on.

0:27:470:27:50

-Step up to the plate.

-You're going down, Joe!

0:27:500:27:52

Come on the Blues!

0:27:520:27:55

This is it!

0:27:560:27:57

Bring on the Great Wall!

0:27:570:28:00

Dive through! Dive through! Head first. Head first!

0:28:050:28:08

-Head first!

-No chance! No chance!

0:28:080:28:11

See ya!

0:28:120:28:13

Jonathan!

0:28:270:28:28

It was meant to end with a love-in for the romantic Red team.

0:28:280:28:31

Like Cupid's arrow, they had to pierce a heart each.

0:28:310:28:34

But this romance quickly turned into a romantic comedy.

0:28:340:28:38

Smooth Sam tries to woo his opposite heart by crashing straight into it.

0:28:380:28:42

And Annabel's wrapped up in a whirlwind affair of the heart,

0:28:420:28:46

which doesn't want to let her go.

0:28:460:28:48

Joe, on the other hand, treats his mean and gets left heartbroken.

0:28:480:28:52

It's all so sad. Pass the Reds a tissue

0:28:520:28:55

as they pass victory to the Blues.

0:28:550:28:57

-Congratulations, Austin.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:000:29:04

Well done.

0:29:040:29:05

Well done, well done, well done.

0:29:050:29:07

Who's the money going to?

0:29:080:29:09

No offence, Mark, but the best player was Beth.

0:29:090:29:12

Where's the money going?

0:29:120:29:13

Alder Hey Children's Hospital and the Imagine Appeal.

0:29:130:29:16

That's absolutely lovely. Thank you so much.

0:29:160:29:19

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:190:29:20

Sadly that's all we've got time for tonight,

0:29:200:29:23

but it's been a fantastic show, so much so

0:29:230:29:25

that I think I might even get a gong for my services to television.

0:29:250:29:28

GONG!

0:29:280:29:29

Not that sort of gong, you fool.

0:29:290:29:32

Good night!

0:29:320:29:33

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:330:29:37

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:29:500:29:54

E-mail [email protected]

0:29:540:29:59

The madcap gameshow continues, with host Anton Du Beke presiding over the fun as captains Austin Healey and Joe Swash guide their celebrity team-mates through crazy shapes in fast-moving walls in order to win 10,000 pounds for charity. Annabel Croft, Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle and TV presenters Sam and Mark join the boys pool-side, and there's a surprise guest in store for Austin from his Strictly Come Dancing past.


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