Episode 2 Let's Dance for Comic Relief

Last week, five acts were cheeky. am speechless. Creeky. Fantastic.

And meaty. You can dance. And as they say - never work with animals.

Or comedians in dresss. Get your hand off there. Tim Vine was the

public's choice. And the soapstars got the judges' vote to secure

their place in the final. Tonight - five more acts perform live. We

must be bacing. Let's Dance. -- we Live from Television Centre, it's

the stars for Comic Relief. Please welcome your hosts, Alex

Hello and welcome to Let's Dance for Comic Relief. It's time for

your week lidos of choreographical chaos here in our temple of dance -

- your weekly dose. We've raided the fancy dress

department. They are here to perform memorable dance routines.

We have two great performances. Paloma Faith will be here. And we

have a real treat in store with actual professional dancers. The

cast of the West End show chorusline will be high-kicking all

over the stage -- Chorus Line. We also have the second part of One

Direction's recent visit to Africa. There are five acts waiting

backstage. Let's meet the people hoping to launch themselves into

the dancing stratosphere. Here they Dancing tonight for Comic Relief:

they're rae wannabes, it's the staff and pupils of Waterloo Road.

-- real wannabes. The competition will be hot. It's going to be

fierce. Some might say spicy. Hoping to make a good impression,

Jon Culshaw. Lovely, right. Bringing a lot of razzle dazzle to

the stage, Rosemary Shrager and Kim Woodburn.

Shaking your booty, comedienne Katherine Ryan.

Serious dancing. And me, two very different things. And proving that

on this show, anything goes, Corrie's Antony Cotton. I do

remember it - but not how to do it. Let's do this.

APPLAUSE Now you won't believe what is in

store for you. In fact, even when you have seen it, you still won't

believe it. But it is a competition. We really need judges. Heaven knows

we really need judges. Instead we have these three. Fresh from the

Strictly ballroom, Lisa Riley, Jason Manford and music wonder,

Paloma Faith. Get into it, Manford. And you, yes,

you at home have the power to give one act that special gift of an

automatic place in the final. You can vote by phone or for free,

through the internet. Go to Webb Red and have a look. -

bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. And our first act will be judged by

that panel of experts. I only say that because it is better than

saying - that lot over there. Jason, long time no see.

Paloma, you are performing for us. Lots of work for you tonight. But

leasia, you were brilliant on Strictly, you got to the semi-

finals. How do you think our stars will feel backstage? I know exactly

how they are feeling. Thumping with nerves. It's live. I know how they

are feeling. They have to go out there, give it millions and they

will be sorted. They will be all right. Less lippy, lippy, more

jiggy, jiggy. I tell you what we want, what we really, really, want.

I think I know what. We really want to see our first act tonight - the

cast of Waterloo Road. I'm Rebecca. Tomy. Victoria. Marlene. Karl.

are the cast of Waterloo Road. Take five, everyone. Omg, guys,

look who is here, it is the Let's Dance letter. Did we make it?

You might not know this, but me and the kids met long before Waterloo

Road. We used to dance in a tribute act together. We were pretty good,

actually. We're very lucky. We actually look quite a lot like the

characters we play in the tribute band. Have I got thising on right?

I've missed you. We have to just become those characters. You know.

So we've been working really hard, rehearsing all the old dance moves.

Move give me the point, now the pout. This tribute band will only

work if we get those moves just right. Pointier. Poutier. Now, that

is very good. Once we get those old outfits on,

the magic will just come floating back.

We've still got the moves - right! Sorry.

Yes, it's the Spice Girls, with scary, scary, scary and scary. Also

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

APPLAUSE You were be a slaughtly brilliant.

Come on over. What a great opener to the show. Mou you could have

shaved. I think it frames the face, though. Sporty Spice is more hairy.

We come to you first, Lisa, a great opener. You literally did bring

spice. You were amazing. I feel like a proud mother watching you.

But Karl, I'm sorry, you absolutely shone. Thank you. You were great.

Jason, spicy enough for you? It is like a flakback, like they are in

the room. You are definitely the best act so far, I would say that.

The boys were enjoying it a little bit too much for me. Well into it.

You should take this on the road. Brilliant.

Paloma? I've got goosebumps but mainly because the BBC haven't paid

for central heating. I'm absolutely now a massive fan. I think we had a

little moment with Gerry and Sporty. We tried. Ginger and Sporty were

out of this world. Well thank you, that's what our

soap-supporters think, that's what the panel thinks, what do they

think? I'm joined by Waterloo Road co-star, Georgie. Was that up to

the high standards of the show? was exactly what I expected of them.

Superb. Were you annoyed you didn't get the call? Did you have the

Scary Spice wig ready? I can live with it. I'm glad they did it

instead of me, I can assure you. Karl and Tommy, did they need any

persuasion to be Posh and Sporty. They took to it like a rat up a

drainpipe. There was a fight over who got to wear the highheels but

Tommy won. Tommy really won! Thank you for your time.

Alex, back to you. Brilliant. So if you want to see the spice Girls

reunite for the millionth time, you reunite for the millionth time, you

reunite for the millionth time, you Don't vote until all the acts have

dance or your vote won't count. But please give it up for the brilliant

Waterloo Road. As you have already seen, here on

Let's Dance, we demand perfection from all our celebrity acts. For

the fist time ever, here is a look at our rigorous audition process.

I'm Jon Culshaw, comedian and I'm Jon Culshaw, comedian and

Um, reality check. That was probably the most ridiculous

performance I have ever seen in my life. I can't believe I'm taking

advice from someone who looks like a sultana. Sorry, petal it, has to

be a "no." Ozzie? I don't know what you are asking me for, I can barely

stand up let alone (BEEP) dance. It is going to be three noes.

What a week. Claudia, what is the dance

dance I'm going to do, at any rate it, starts like this, ah, ah, ah.

Do you need the lavvie for a little wee? No, um, in fact, yes, exactly.

Next. Oh, you are auditioning,

auditioning, standing on the star, not next to the star but on the

star and you are standing on it. Will you stand on the (BEEP) star.

No, this is not my dance, I'm trying to fill. Obviously, it's a

OK, so, we've got a situation. We don't have a celebrity dancer.

We've got to have someone to really connect with the public. Hang on a

minute, what about that fella over So the cleaner got gig. He is no

ordinary cleaner. The man of many faces, Jon Culshaw. But can he do

the impression of a good dancer? We are about to find out. Dancing to

Fatboy Slim's praise praise - please welcome, Jon. Sorry, he is

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

where? He is where? What is he John jn cull Shaw.

-- Jon Culshaw. Come and join me, Jon. That made me

so happy. Fabulous. But what do our esteemed panel think? Jason? Coming

to you first. A lot of time judges on these show say you have been on

a journey. You literally have, from reception to here. I thought that

was brilliant. I thought the place might go up with the amount of

nylon being rubbed together. But well-played. Paloma? Well I'm

astounded by the styling. I think it's so current. So now and like it

really brings out the colours in your eyes, your hair and all your

dancers as well, phenomenal. Brilliant image. Gorgeous all of

them. It was like a party in a charity shop with all of you. You

must be knackered legging it around the BBC. I was worn out before we

started. I enjoyed it. Well done. started. I enjoyed it. Well done.

started. I enjoyed it. Well done. Really good.

So a big fat thumbs-up here. What is going on over there.

I'm joined by Deborah Stephenson. Lovely to see you. How did Jon feel

ahead of his performance, he must ahead of his performance, he must

have been so nervous. I don't think he does. He takes everything in his

stride. The only dance I have seen him do is the Brucie dance.

does that go? I will leave it to him. We heard what Paloma said.

What would your version say this is a bit cheeky. Well, you

know, I believe that, in this world, and in this society, that you have

got to be a bit entertaining and a bit fun and a bit cookie and a bit

bonkers, so... You know, John jns with all those things, just a bit

like me -- Jon was all those things, just a bit like me, really.! She is

waving, it is fine. We are also joined by Emma Sams. I used to want

to be you. What did you think was the most bizarre being in the Cobl,

ys? Or Jon's performance? He was bizarre. If Jon's Fatboy Slim gave

awe wide green, show your awe wide green, show your

awe wide green, show your appreciation by voting: -- gave you

a wide grin. Don't vote until we tell you. Otherwise your vote won't

So have Jon and the cast of Waterloo Road danced into your

hearts? Don't make up your mind yet. There are three more actsdesperate

to get out here. Or maybe just desperate to get out. Here is what

is coming up: Rosemary Shrager and Kim Woodburn are dancing for

diamonds. Joop Antony Cotton leaves the cobbles of Corrie to dance the

dream. And from behind the panel to centre-stage. Paloma performs her

latest single. We'll have the second part of One

Direction's report from Africa very soon. Now this year you can help by

donating �5. All you have to do is text "yes" to 7005. Texts cost �5

plus the standard network message charge. The whole �5 goes to Comic

charge. The whole �5 goes to Comic charge. The whole �5 goes to Comic

Relief. You must be 16 or over. Ask the bill payers' permission for

permission. Up next, the Duchess of Dirt gets

jiggy with the Countess of Cooking. Otherwise known as the Queen of

clean and Kim Woodburn and TV chef, Rosemary Shrager. I'm Rosemary.

Kim, the Queen of clean. We are Kim, the Queen of clean. We are

here to do the most sexy dance. # Working nine to five, what a way

to make a living # Getting by

# It's all taking and no giving # You must use your mind

# And you never get the credit # It's enough to drive you crazy if

I pay you could clean. Rosemary! Hello. Hello. Good news, girls,

after all these years, it's finally happened, I've got you a dancing

gig. Fantastic. Is it the Royal Ballet. Strictly Come Dancing.

Backing dancers for the Pussycat Dolls. Even better. So, are you

free? Let me see if I can free up my schedule swroo. Leave it with me.

Girls. Girls. All sorted dear. Two iconic music legends as you

have never seen them before. Channelling Marilyn Monroe and Jane

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

APPLAUSE Simply divine. Rosemary, Kim, come

join us. I'm going to be the filling in a

Monroe and Russell sandwich. Come and join us over here. Please,

ladies, snuggle up. Paloma, what did you think of that? I love you

both. I think Rosemary, you are now my pin-up. You were so brilliant. I

love it. Thank you. I can't say anything bad. I'm also very envious

of your costumes. Lisa, what are you thinking? Sexy pink dehave as.

Definitely. -- divas. You must have loved it with all these beautiful

boys around you, in your element. Is that something you tend to enjoy,

all those young mens? Well, my shus here, you fool. I'll take that as a

yes. -- my husband. Jason, can you handle all this? It was, I mean, no.

I felt the same way. I mean, I don't know how you did it. I don't

know how you did it, but you were born for it. You are wasted cooking

and cleaning. You want to do this from now on. I imagine, I don't

want to start rumours but there is definitely something going on with

you or three of those lads. It was electric out there. Well he flipped

my bosoms. I thought - I'll have some of that, yes.

Rosemary? I'm trying to catch my breath. I saw that. I'm not sure

how that dance routine was allowed to be pre-watershed. It was that

hot. If Rosemary and Kim left you hot. If Rosemary and Kim left you

hot. If Rosemary and Kim left you quivering, call: Remember, not to

vote until later, injury wise you will send this pair around.

Let's hear it for the wonderful Next up, all the way from Canada, a

new girl on the comedy block. Here is what happened when our producer

met Katherine Ryan. I'm Katherine Ryan. I'm a

comedienne. I love you. Let's Dance for Comic Relief. Have

you been practising? Have I? Have you?? Have I? I have. Wonderful.

want to introduce you to my secret weapon. I've got a dog. I can see

that. Lassi Littlest HHobo,. What does that tell you about dogs on

TV? Too many of them. There are never enough. Dolly here is going

to win me the show. Why don't I show you what we've got? Dolly, do

what we practised at home. Look at That was awful. It was really...

Terrible. I think you'd better get back to rehearsals. Oh, and it's a

no to the dog. It's all right, I didn't want to dance with that

crazy fool. I'm a serious actor. No more dogs, please.

Dancing to Starships by Nicki Minaj. Please, give a massive Let's Dance

welcome to the fabulous bs Katherine Ryan. -- to the fabulous

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

Katherine, brilliant. Come on over. How are you? That was brilliant.

Thanks. You are so brave. But it is a suit, I guess, isn't it?

Obviously, we knew that. Oh, and see can let it down. Whether did

you think Lisa? Awesome. I know wardrobe have designed that suit on

my best assets. Why not, girl? You look fantastic. Brilliant. You must

have enjoyed that Jason? I did. It was brilliant. I know Katherine

from... Look me in the eye. I know her from the comedy circuit. She is

a fabulous comedienne. I hope that's how you will close your show

when on tour. It's my opener. Thanks for ruining it. Paloma,

wasn't she great? I want to know what your tattoo says? - does it

say chicken and chips? Paloma Faith is the best artist ever. Oh my...

She has my vote. I'm loving this, bikini, neon, bright. Excellent.

And she remains in character, or is that how you are, Katherine?? It is

an unforetoon ate accident. We are almost the same. I've worked in the

UK a long time. I'm acclimatising. I'm becoming less friendly. Let's

see what Katherine's family say? I'm join bid somebody who kind of

knows her. She gave birth. It's Katherine's mother, Julie. How are

you? How are you? Julie has flown, 3,562 miles from Toronto to be here

today. The question on everybody's lips is - was it worth it? Well,

that had to be the most unlady-like spectacle that I have seen since

the night before she moved to lo London. Spill the beans. So, yes,

it was worth it. Did you realise your daughter had so much junk in

the trunk?? She gets it from her mama! The best answer, ever. By the

way, am I right this thinking today is your birthday? Yes. Happy

birthday to Julie. Why so sad? Well, as much as I dent

exactly like getting older, it's better than the alternative, so I'm

kind of happy. You look awesome. Thank you very much. So do you,

Steve? I feel there is a vibe between us. Is something happening

right now? Well... Alex, back to right now? Well... Alex, back to

right now? Well... Alex, back to you. We are not surprised. If you

want to see Katherine back on this stage, in that outfit then call: or

Don't vote until all our acts have perform, though. Katherine Ryan,

everybody. APPLAUSE

Now on Coronation Street our next star is used to a lot of drama. Is

he prepared for the tears, trauma and tragedy that is Let's Dance.

I'm Antony Cotton. I play Sean in Coronation Street.

I grew up watching comic relae. I watch it rel inously. It will's be

fun. -- religiously. It'll be fun. What matters is people phone up and

vote and they raise money for Comic Relief. Here is the real deal. I've

only got dance. I've only edited the music. To count me in there

is... And it goes on and on and on and I'm literally like, huh, we get

this first phrase done, oh, no, we only have the room until 25 and

there are 25 old woman wearing lycra coming in for a zum ba class

all looking at Sean from Corrie doing a tap dance. They are like,

how old are you? 38. Oh, you look all right. I'm dripping wet and it

# Until olden days... # Again, again Take 2. And that's what

matters. That's the end game, raising money.

It's been an intense evening of dancing and going last just adds to

the pressure. The last thing Antony needs now is some kind of

distraction. What's Gail plait really like? Do one. Does Deirdre

really need those glasss? Really do one. Over to you, Alex. He didn't

need that. From the carboot to the care home it'll become clear in a

moment. Believe me this is something special. Dancing to

Anything Goes, please welcome, Fred, keep your hands to yourself.

All right my love, put the record on. Patience.

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

That was excellent. Antony, come on over. Congratulations. That was

brilliant. Who knew? Oh, out of breath, obviously. Have you tapped

before? I have when I was a kid, but not since I was 16. About five

years ago! Of course. Can you do a little bit for us now? Very good.

It was quite distracting, we know he is talented but tapping like

that. Proper dancing, proper talent. Proper choreography. What are you

doing on this show? That's the question.

It was brilliant. I wasn't expecting it at all. I have seen

you like at dos and that, dancing when you have ahad a few drinks.

But that was proper dancing, proper skills. I know your name is Cotton,

but you are as smooth as silk. Paloma, what did you make?

Astonished. What are you lot like backstage at Coronation Street? Is

Ken Barlow a pole dancer? How did you know?! Amazing. There is all

these unveiled talents going on on Corrie. I expect Coronation Street

the musical next, I reckon. We do our best. My mind is blown. Is that

a good thing? Very good. Lisa? can't be biased. He is my best

friend. He is unreal. You nailed it. I am used to you doing this after

four gin and tonics in my kitchen but full showbiz, loving it, what

you do best. Very chuffed. It was lovely. Thank you, thank you very

much. Excellent work young man. Let's see what what your friends

think. I'm joined by past and current co-stars, Suranne and Jenny.

Guys, what happened? I'm a assuming you two have been out for a couple

of sherberts with Antony, has he ever exhibited such panache and

style I don't know if they are the same tap shoes we had on, that he

had them since he was 15. No, I have new ones but I rehearsed in

them. You don't do them in the outfit. No, in my pyjamas. I knew

him 23 queers ago as a tap dancing rabbit. You can't say that and let

it go. It was, what was it, Alice in Wonderland. He was the rabbit.

He was tapping. He was the rabbit. She was the tap-dancing fireman.

Tell me more laterment Thank you so much. What a great effort.

much. What a great effort. much. What a great effort.

Hopefully we'll see you later.. Antony needs your votes to make it

through. If he has tapped into your The vote willing start in a few

moments but for now give us a little skree. Oh, he has gone, all

the way -- a little scream. Lots more to could. Our panellist,

Paloma Faith will be performing and the cast of the Chorus Line will be

providing razzle dazzle and of course we'll be finding out who...

HORN SOUNDS It is called revenge. have really small ears. I know. I

have to interrupt because the votes Awesome, thank you gentlemen.

That's proper dancing. Thanks guys, off you go. I'm going to take that

off you. You are not. It is make your mind up time. Pick up your

phones and log on to the website to vote for your favourite to win.

Please bear in mind although this seems a bit of a laugh, we here at

Let's Dance take our voting seriously and we have terms and

conditions. Here to give you the conditions. Here to give you the

conditions. Here to give you the lowdown is Katie Brand. Obviously

you remember me as run runner-up for Let's Dance 2010. Winning is

fine but being the runner-up is important. The Swedish football

team for president 1958 World Cup Final. Michael Ball, it's runner-up

for the Eurovision Song Contest in 1982. To shrot for your winner

calls cost 10p, from BT. Overnetworks may vary and calls

from mobiles will cost more or alternatively you can vote online

for free, at Webb Red. - bbc.co.uk/rednoseday. You will also

find terms and conditions. Please get the bill payer's permission

before you call. Voting will close in approximately 15 minutes.

Remember, it's the taking part that Remember, it's the taking part that

Katie Brand there. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Such a

shame. Five amazing acts have given everything but you have the

toughest job of all, choosing the winner. In many ways, this is more

difficult in choosing a career or a life partner. To help you on this

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

path of self-discovery, here is a It's tough. Last week we saw some

of the boys from One Direction visiting a hospital in Africa. If

you remember it, had a huge affect on Zane. This week Harry and Liam

find out how widespread and devastating malaria can be for

children. Some viewers may find this a tough watch. We are here in

the main emergency room. It is a vaing atmosphere, quiet, nobody is

talking. -- it is a strange atmosphere.

You can just hear kids crying. She's just not very well, the poor

thing. This little boy is three. And he has malaria and is very

anaemic. That's why the bottoms of his feet and his hands are so white.

Be honest with me, how ill is he? He is very ill. Sometimes if they

come in too late, you are not able to save them.

No movement, too weak to even cry. Watching Kofi and his mum was

simply heart-breaking. He is too weak to even hold his own head up.

It's horrible to watch. What's frustrating is malaria could be

prevented. �5 will pay for a moss Kyoto net or emergency medicine so

that kids like Kofi wouldn't be this ill. Please donate, text

"yes." Text "yes" to 7005 to donate You will be glad to know that Kofi

made a full recovery and was discharged from hospital. But not

everyone is so lucky. You can help. Affection "YES" TO 7005 So far we

have seen truly unique performances. We have had a brilliant panellist

tonight, but now to perform her # I know a man who fills his

emptiness # With strangers # I know a girl who drinks herself to sleep

at night. # You can't change her.# I know people who use chat rooms as

confessionals. # I know down and outs who once

were, # Once they were professionals.

# Wipe it off your sleeve. # Your superiority.

# Don't roll your eyes, my sweet. # We're just the same.# We all get

desperate sometimes # Feeling black and blue.

# I know you'll find it hard to accept it sometimes.

# We all feel black and we feel blue .# Wipe it off your sleeve

# Your superiority. # Don't roll your eyes, my sweet.

# I know a rich man who has everything you could wish for.

# But children. # I know an old lady who talks a

lot but could teach you # If you listen

# I know people who believe in gods and demons

# I know ones who think there's nothing there at all

# Wipe it off your sleeve # Your superiority

# Don't roll your eyes, my sweet # We're just the same

# We all get desperate sometimes # Feeling black and blue

# I know you'll find it hard to accept it sometimes

# We all feel black and we feel blue

# Wipe it off your sleeve # Your superiority

# Don't roll your eyes, my sweet # Wipe it off your sleeve

# Your superiority # Don't roll your eyes, my sweet. #

She is just fabulous. Thank you Paloma. Congratulations.

And congratulations. Now, I hope you are texting and

voting like possessed people at home. Our celebrities here this

evening really do deserve your ajewelation and they deserve five

minutes to put their feet up -- adulatoin.

And That's why they are in our backstage boozer.

Let's have a chin-wag with our Let's have a chin-wag with our

landlady, Jody Prenger. Listen, babe, you couldn't do me a

big favour and give me the chance big favour and give me the chance

to dance. Not this again. Listen, reality check. What? You are the

landlady of a pub, a fake up, backstage at the BBC. It is not

going to happen. You are not a dancer. Why? Do me a favour, give

me a can and a packet of crisps. Tough love, ladies and gentlemen,

tough love. Sexy, confident. That's how I like my ladies and what I saw

this evening. Did you have fun? we? I have to tell you, I didn't

think I was going to get into the air. You ZI Don't know how, but I

ZKim, A good time? I had a very naughty man when I was in the air.

Clutching and probing, I have fingernail marks on my boss ums,

the dirty young beast. We have a message from someone who loves you.

I very much love both of you. It is not diamonds that's a girl's best

friend. It is words. You have a lot of them. You are good with them.

How lovely just to watch you dance - in silence.

Well that's typical of him. He has to have the last word. Very sweet.

Can I ask you something quickly. I think it would be foolish not to.

BELL RINGS Five minutes left. You are here.

Shenangians looks like the Queen Vic after the fire. Any chance you

could give it a once-over? I have, I'm appalled. Can you give it

another once-over. I have some cleaning products. Katherine Ryan.

Your mum must be incredibly proud of you this evening, we thought you

deserve a traet. We have something nice lined up. Take a look at the

monitor. She has the bit, you know the bit that makes you embarrassed.

The bit that goes - I better not do that. I don't think Katherine has

that bit, it is mission and Nicky minute does not have that bit.

have not got that bit. I don't care. At the end of your day, if your

children are healthy and well, life is great. So who cares? I concur. I

will congratulate you later. A tear came to my eye earlier seeing you

fly through TV C. I looked good. I feel worn out.

But most of all we're enjoying you and Alex saying... IN A WELSH

ACCENT Are you ready? Are you ready? This is' plain rude. Alex, I

say this every time because it is true. These people are heroes.

People at home, do what you have to do, vote, text. They deserve it.

Thank you, Steve, that was bang on, wasn't it?

Now over the past 25 years of Red Nose Day tonnes celebrities have

joined forces to help raise money for here and abroad. We sent

tonight's act rummaging through the archive to share some of their

clips. 25 years of Red Nose Day. years. Same age as me dear.

wish. The celebrity cameos. right! Tony Blair and Catherine

Tate's Lauren. She thought I was jealous. I ain't even jealous.

are just thinking - Prime Minister say it. Look at my face. Is my face

bothered? Does my face look bothered? Are you messing with my

sniend face, bothered Showing I'm in touch with popular culture. I

ain't bothered. Who would have known that Tony Blair was such a

funny guy. Out. Rubbish. Amazeballs. Scary, is you Comfie. I loved the

interview with Posh and Becks. you want him to grow up to be a

footballer like his dad or a sirning, like Mariah Carey?

takes nerve to know you will be ripped to pieces. And still do it.

The smithy one with George Michael. It shows you how people are willing

to send themselves up You are a joke. I can't walk into Comic

Relief with you. It is about helping people like you. It is

almost like a conveyor belt. A never-ending dream of famous people.

I am the last-remaining Beatle. Keira Knightley is in there. One of

the funniest things I have seen. I love it. Did you know that since

198866 million of little red noses have been sold to raise over �6

hunds million. Last year's Red Nose Day smashed the record. Let's hope

this year we can do even better. What an incredible total last year.

You know what Comic Relief is nothing without your support.

Please, keep texting and make this year bigger and better than ever.

All the details are on the screen right now. Steve, how is the party

going SNP Alex, we are partying like it's

1899 back here. A very exciting time. Jenny. Hello. You must be

proud of your man. So proud. So you should be. He just shone for me. I

am biased but he was brilliant. Where is Suranne, is she too good

for Shenangians? Yeah. Where is Antony... Cotton. Hotpot. What have

you got? Apparently a hotpot. My Bethy's doesn't look like that.

What is it? It is lamb. There is no horse in a Rovers' Return hotpot.

BELL RINGS Sorey, the lines are closed.

-- sorey. A quick shout with Waterloo Road.

Hi, how is it going? Gross. You are Sporty Spice, but you haven't

shaved? I think it frames my face. Not very feminine. I like it.

a leaf out of Tommy's book, look at this young lady. You have really

embraced the whole Posh thing. I genuinely believe David Beckham

would struggle to tell the difference. I have been getting

into character all day. No smiling. Designing clothes. Having a baby.

Have you enjoyed yourselves? Brilliant. We've really enjoyed

this week. It's been really worthwhile. I will crossmy fingers

for you. You guys are fantastic. You deserve it, really do. Last

week our karaoke was such a monumental success, I was

absolutely inundated by two people who said they really enjoyed it. So

we've decided to do it again, we've decided to do it again,

This week's competitors, Rosemary and Kim. It's clash of the Titans

everyone. The song we've decided for them to sing, it is an obvious

one. It is Bonn Jovi's Living on a Prayer. Judgments will be passed by

Jenny McAlpine. Have you ne any experience in the

music industry? No, none whatsoever. You are probably still over-

qualified for this. So this is how it is going to work. Rosemary you

take the first verse, Kim, you take the second. The third verse, I say

everyman for himself. I want a slice of the pie. Are you guys in

# For love # Cos it doesn't make a difference

if you make it or not # We've got each other

# We'll give it a shot # Oh, we're half way there

# Oh, oh, we're living on a prayer # Take my hand

# We'll make it, I severe # Oh, we're living on a prayer --

we will he' make I I swear... # Well done. This is Mission

impossible. Who are you going to award the wonderful prize? You were

both fabulous. But in the hope that Rosemary will make me a cake

afterwards, I award this to Rosemary. That winds up things back

here. Back to you, Alex. I don't know what to say about

that? Anyway, we are minutes away from revealing our winner. Thanks

to everyone who has voted and donated tonight. I hope this next

film will inspire you to keep giving. Last month I visited a

maternity award in Malawi to see why it is so crucial that pregnant

women get to hospital to give birth. For women in developing countries,

pregnancy is a difficult time. That's why getting to hospital can

be a life-saving difference to mothers and air their babies. This

lady gave birth yesterday. She started bleeding after giving birth

which is incredibly dangerous. There is just blood everywhere on

the bed. God! Severe bleeding can kill a woman in two hours if left

unattended. How is the mother doing now? How is she? She has to go to

the theatre so they can examine her properly. If that lady, who is

suffering from a bleeding was at home in her village, what do you

think would happen to her?? She would die because maybe they would

be thinking that the bleeding would stop and it would be a lot of time

before they would think about coming to the hospital. I think she

would die. She is in the best place here. Yeah.

She's back with her baby. She's been incredibly lucky. She lost so

much blood they had to give her a blood transfusion. The fact that

they found a match but, that would only have happened in the hospital.

At home she would have had zero chance, really, of surviving. Comic

relief are funding this brilliant project that is teaching young

girls and women to get to hospital to deliver their babies safely

rather than delivering at home. �5 will pay for a teaching section to

will pay for a teaching section to will pay for a teaching section to

educate all these women. You can donate by texting YES to 7005. It

You can make a difference now. up your phone and text YES. Make

your next text just one word YES. The whole �5 goes to Comic Relief.

You must be 16 or over. Ask the bill payer's permission for

permission. For all terms and continues go to the website. Time

now for more dancing but don't panic. This lot know what they are

doing. They are so good they could be a chorus line. In fact that's

exactly what they are. Straight from the West End, please welcome

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

John Partridge and the cast of A Thank you to the cast of the Chorus

Line. Fantastic stuff. I thought we'd have a straw poll of who the

audience think will win? Who do you want to win? Jon Culshaw. Madam?

That one with the tap shoes. She is clearly paying attention. Who would

you like to see win, Michelle? Katherine Ryan. How about the lady

who broke my heart at the start of the show. Gail, who do you want to

see win? The lady who done Nicki Minaj. Katherine Ryan. See you,

later Gill. What are you thinking? Antony. Feepblly somebody who knows

someone's name. Finally. The votes are being counted by a

highly-trained team of students on work experience. We are moments

away from getting our winner. Fill some time, Jason. Lots of people

won't know this, but you areing on stage in the West End in Sweeney

Todd. You will know how they are feeling. It is not easy coming out

on the stage. No, and when you are used to doing something else and

when it is not your main job. when you are on stage with people

who do it for their proper job, it is terrifying. Oaky doky. I'm back.

Soon we will be revealing. I have the all-important cards. The

results are in, everyone. They are in. OK. OK, five performed tonight

but only two can make it to the final. I'm so excited. I just can't

hide it. Please welcome our celebrity dancers, back to the

stage. Waterloo Road.

Antony Cotton. Jon Culshaw.

Catherine Ryan. There they are. It's like the

world's weirdest identity parade. They are all guilty.

The two acts with the fewest votes will be asked to leave the stage,

never to darken our door again but the act with the highest number of

public votes will have a guaranteed place in the final. Acts, are you

ready? YES. AUDIENCE, ARE YOU READY? Yes.

Jody are you ready? Ready. Save me a chicken wing. Here we go: In no

particular order, the first act to leave the competition is... I can't

believe this, it's Jon Culshaw. What? What? I can't believe it. The

second act to leave Let's Dance is... Rosemary and Kim. What is

happening? Oh. Jon Culshaw and Rosemary and Kim thank you so much.

A really good effort. But now it is time to leave the stage in a really

embarrassing way. I don't want to do this to you. Off you go.

# Nah, nah, nah, nah # Hey, hey, goodbye

# Nah, nah, nah, nah # Hey, hey, goodbye... # Oh, that's

embarrassing. I almost felt sorry for them.

Almost. We must now choose our finalists. Cue the music. OK, three

acts left but only one of you is guaranteed a police in the final.

The act with the most public votes and going straight through to the

It's Antony Cotton. APPLAUSE

Congrtlations Antony Cotton. -- congrtlations. Get ready for your

encore, you will be performing again at the end of the show. Oh he

can't believe it. He can't believe it, bless him. He did a good job,

though. OK, so just two acts remain, Waterloo Road and Katherine Ryan.

So you are the runners-up at this point. Now one of you will join

Antony Cotton on the final on 9th March, but the panel have to make

the decision who joins Antony Cotton. Now this is literally going

to be the biggest decision of your entire lives. Think carefully

before you answer. I didn't see that. Let them refresh their

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

memories. A little reminder of how So, Waterloo Road, Katherine Ryan,

one of you will join Antony Cotton in the final on March 9th. But who

will it be? Leasey Riley, we'll come to you first, -- Lisa. Who is

your choice? They were phenomenal. They opened the show so brilliantly.

Katherine you were hilarious which is what Comic Relief is BI have to

be biased. I love you all dearly and I'm going to Waterloo Road

because you were amazing. Bias. Blatantly. Jason, you next,

who are you going for? Waterloo Road or Katherine Ryan? A bit of

pressure from the audience. I also thought they opened the show

brilliantly. I thought the boys were very brave and also very

talented. But for sheer comedy, and - I just really Jeopardy. And the

gamble of wearing that outfit, I'm going to have to go Katherine.

1-1. This one is going down to the wire, unprecedented, since last

week. Look what you have done stkpwhrfrblgts It's all on -- look

what you've done! The whole thing rests on me. I can't bear it.

Weight of BBC One is currently on your shoulders. I'm throwing down

my glow sticks in protest. This is too much. I never, ever, throw my

glow sticks. A decision. audience are so divided.

Well, the nation knows that I'm a big believer in a curvaceous,

volume up tueous woman. I believe - - voluptuous woman. I believe in

the power of... You have to say it. Say the words. I believe in the

power of baby's got back. Katherine. Congratulations Katherine. You will

be joining Antony Cotton on the final on 9th March. Let's hear it

for all our acts. Two more acts through to the final. Only two more

spaces left. Five more acts will be battling it out on the dance there

are next week. Comedian Lee Nelson, Boyzone's Keith Duffy and Vanessa

Feltz like you have never seen her before will be dancing for your

pleasure. We also have music from the gorgeous Nicole Schertzinger

and the gorgeous Justin Bieber. Please don't forget to text YES to

70005. It really is that easy. to dance us out, the gorgeous,

Antony Cotton. Get your hand off. You are not having a breather.

right I'll put the record on. By Frank Sinatra Oh, no, please, no.

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 114 seconds

Thank you. You can see the grand final in two weeks. That's all we