Athenians v Bookworms Only Connect

Hello, and welcome to the quiz

with more connections than Kevin Bacon's Masonic Lodge.

And more nude initiation rituals as well.

What can you do? It's at the insistence of the Grand Vizier.

I am the Grand Vizier.

Anyway, it looks like tonight's teams have just about got themselves

buttoned up again, so let's say hello to...

on my right, Jon Stitcher,

a philosophy graduate and Everton supporter who has equalled,

though not broken, the world record for consumption of Jaffa Cakes,

Ben Holmes, a customer services advisor who sprained his wrist while

recreating a memorable scene from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

using a clothesline and his winter jacket,

and their captain, Amber Marshall, a former drug counsellor

and keen silversmith who has swum with freshwater crocodiles.

United by a passion for the Parthenon, they are the Athenians.

Amber, you won your first game against the Roadtrippers,

then lost to the Scientists.

What have you learned from your Only Connect experience so far?

-To not let Ben anywhere near the buzzer.

-Yeah.

So you'll be buzzing in yourself before you know the answer,

-just to make sure nobody else does?

-Just to stop him, yeah.

Tonight, you will be up against, on my left...

Katy Bateman, a psychology graduate whose great-grandmother was

the first woman in Yorkshire to hold a driver's licence,

Tristram Cole, an English graduate and keen chess player, whose brother

was the first European to be bitten by a poisonous snake in Ecuador,

and their captain, Dave Knapp,

a civil engineer and cyclist who has discussed at length

the merits of various televised quiz shows with a prominent All Black.

United by a love of libraries, they are the Bookworms.

Dave, you lost your first game to the Wayfarers,

but then you beat the Headliners.

How are you feeling about tonight's opponents?

I think I'm just glad we're the Bookworms

and not the Spartans, really.

Let's see how you get on. Now, Athenians, you won the toss

but you've decided to put the Bookworms in first,

rattling you right from the off.

So it will be you, Dave, who I ask to choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

I'll go for Water, please.

OK, first question of the show coming up.

What is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

-That's John Bunyan.

-Yeah.

-An allegory.

Nothing? Yeah. Next, please.

Oh, that's got... There's two, there's the magazine and the...

-Rik Mayall.

-The Rik Mayall thing, yeah.

-But...

I'm not sure. We might need more.

Next, please.

Three seconds.

DAVE BUZZES

Have they all had sort of...

-Children?

-Yeah, sequels by children?

They've all had sequels by children?

I mean, I would love to read that sequel to The Pilgrim's Progress,

I must say, but, no, they have not

all had sequels written by children.

Athenians, you've got the chance of a bonus point.

We believe their names match their characteristics.

That's what it is. They all feature appropriately named characters.

Do you know what The Cradle Will Rock is?

-Sorry.

-It's an American agitprop play

and it had a prostitute called Moll

and a newspaper that was called Editor Daily.

Pilgrim's Progress, of course,

Mr Sagacity, Mrs Timorous and so on.

I think our questioner basically thinks The Pilgrim's Progress

is like The Mr Men, just the same thing but a bit older.

And The New Statesman, what was the lead character in that?

-Alan B'stard.

-Alan B'stard, and there were other characters

with names that I wouldn't dream

of repeating on a family quiz.

Is this a family quiz?

If you're really annoyed with your family, maybe.

Anyway, lots of appropriately named characters in that too, so well done,

you get a bonus point and your chance to choose a question.

Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. OK.

These are going to be picture clues.

What connects them? Here's the first.

A helter-skelter.

Next, please.

Grater, helter-skelter...

OK. Shall we go next?

Next, please.

OK, a walkie-talkie, helter-skelter...

Grated cheese...

Cheese grater, walkie-talkie...

-Shall we go next?

-I don't know.

Next, please.

Gherkin...

GIGGLING

AMBER BUZZES

Nominate Ben.

They're all nicknames of buildings in London.

I thought Ben wasn't going to be allowed to answer any questions.

I didn't let him near the buzzer.

Well, on this occasion you did the right thing.

You are correct, they are nicknames of London skyscrapers.

Yes, what buildings are they?

-The Gherkin!

-Yeah.

The Walkie-talkie, I think, is the one that was setting cars on fire.

That's right, in Fenchurch Street,

they said the angle sort of set off...

well, not set them on fire but

melted things because of the angle.

The Cheesegrater, that's the Leadenhall Building,

and the Helter-skelter, the Pinnacle.

The Gherkin, of course, the famous one on St Mary Axe.

Well done. Bookworms, what would you like?

Try the flamboyant Eye of Horus.

The flamboyant Eye of Horus.

Interesting choice.

OK, what is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Film roles, possibly?

Might need more. Next, please.

He was in one where he married and had lots of kids, didn't he?

Yeah, that was Cheaper By The Dozen.

I think we need the next.

Next, please.

It's not the words?

-They played characters like a mother, boy?

-Possibly.

-Shall we go next?

-Yeah.

Next, please.

-Oh, it's...

-Oh, it's got hood.

-Boyhood.

-Yeah.

DAVE BUZZES

Are these all films which have "hood" on the end of them?

That's absolutely right.

Motherhood, Parenthood, Boyhood, Kidulthood

and the names of the people are...?

-The directors?

-Directors?

Those are performers. I don't think Uma Thurman has directed a film.

They're just performers, but, yes,

we're missing the word "hood" to make a film.

Athenians, back to you.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

OK, what is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

I don't know. Should we go next?

Next, please.

-He wrote The Devil's Dictionary.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

So a writer, maybe?

Next, please.

Oh, I know it.

AMBER BUZZES

Nominate Ben again.

It's all people who disappeared.

They all disappeared.

You didn't need to see the last clue,

Amelia Earhart. Very well done.

What can you tell me about the people we're looking at?

Well, Ambrose Bierce was a writer who wrote a profane dictionary.

-The Devil's Dictionary.

-He disappeared in Mexico, I believe.

Well, he said he was going to Mexico and he was never seen again. Yes.

Jimmy Hoffa was a Teamsters union boss who had a run-in with

-the Mafia and was never seen again.

-That's right.

Amelia Earhart was an aviator who vanished somewhere in the Pacific.

That's right, in 1937 she was off to fly around the world

-and never came back.

-I have no idea who Henry Hudson is.

-He was a navigator...

-Oh, was it Hudson Bay?

-Yes, that's right,

he was set adrift by mutineers on the boat and never seen again.

They all disappeared. Very well done.

You'll soon be earning your right to press the buzzer.

THEY LAUGH

Back to you, Bookworms. What would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. OK.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

-Something to do with China?

-Yeah, China.

-Is that Mao Tse-Tung?

Possibly, but I'm not going to...

Next, please.

Initials? Need some more clues.

Um, yeah. Next, please.

I think that's the Pope.

I still think we might need another clue.

Next, please.

Is it something...they're normally known by another name?

-Another title?

-Yeah?

DAVE BUZZES

Are these normally known by another title?

That's exactly what it is, yes.

They are titles that come with

a more significant title.

Can you tell me any specifics?

Sovereign, I think the Sovereign of the state of the Vatican City

-is the Pope.

-That's right.

First Lord of the Treasury, is that Chancellor of the Exchequer?

No, it's Prime Minister. Prime Minister of the UK.

Chancellor of City University London, do you want to have a guess at that?

-Lord Mayor?

-It's the Lord Mayor, the Lord Mayor of London.

And the Chair of the Supreme Council of the Cultural Revolution is...

It's, like, the Chinese Prime Minister, Prime Minister of China?

Iran, actually, President of Iran, so

that's right, more significant titles

that the people are more commonly known as

but in a kind of "buy one get one free" offer,

they get these titles as well.

Athenians, one remaining question, the Horned Viper,

and that's what you'll be getting. JINGLE CHIMES

Ah, yes, we hadn't heard that lovely noise yet, had we?

It will be the music question.

What do these audible clues have in common? Here's the first.

# I say I'll go through fire

# Yeah, and I will kill for ya... #

Next, please.

# You left me sad and lonely

# Why did you leave me lonely?

# Cos here's a heart that's only for... #

Next, please.

# I'm not the kind of man to socialise... #

Next, please.

# I look and stare so deep in your eyes

# Searching more and more every time

# When you leave I'm begging you not to go

# Call your name two, three times in a row... #

Three seconds.

AMBER BUZZES

Crazy.

I beg your pardon! On my own show?

But if that's what you're suggesting is the answer,

you are correct,

they all have crazy titles. You seem surprised, Jon.

Well, the only one we had any idea on was the last one, and...

So that was the only word that we heard that we knew,

-so it was a big guess.

-Oh, you need

to get out more, or stay in more.

There is some great music there.

You're Driving Me Crazy, the Temperance Seven,

that is just fantastic.

Still Crazy After All These Years,

Paul Simon, you're not...?

-I've heard of Paul Simon.

-I knew it was Paul Simon, but...

And the first one, Crazy He Calls Me,

Aretha Franklin. All songs with crazy in the title.

Well deduced from the Beyonce at the end.

At the end of Round One,

the Bookworms have two points.

The Athenians have five.

On to Round Two, the sequences round. What comes fourth in a sequence?

Bookworms, you go first again. What would you like?

Go with Two Reeds, please.

OK, first in a sequence of questions will be the Two Reeds,

but what would be the fourth clue?

Your time starts now.

Next, please.

18 + 5...

1 + 8...

Next, please.

Just going to wait till three, but...

Three seconds.

DAVE BUZZES

Um...

Go with 5 + 11 + 12 = 3.

I'm afraid you have not hit upon

a sequence there, so Athenians,

you have the chance for a bonus point.

We're going for 1 + 2 + 6 = 3.

That is the right answer.

Very well done. What's going on here?

It's the numbers -

the amount of letters in the number is what they equal,

so eleven, twelve and twenty all have six numbers.

-Three, seven, eight all have five numbers...

-Letters.

-Sorry!

-Don't worry, it's the confusion between letters and numbers

that we're very much playing with here.

But that's absolutely right,

it's not actually a maths question.

The plus is just an "and". Eleven

and twelve and twenty - six letters.

Three and seven and eight - five letters, so we're going,

so we wanted to hear the lowest three numbers

with three letters, would be

one and two and six.

Well spotted. Well done, Jon.

OK, you have earned a bonus point

and the right to choose your own question, which will be what?

-Water, please.

-Water. OK, what will be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Ooh! OK, nice.

Next, please.

Oh, right, OK, so then we want...

Do we want Hindu? Hindu?

Next, please.

Maybe they're going wider.

No, I.... Yeah, yeah.

-Shall we...? Yeah.

-Is it moving?

I think they're going wider, I think...

-Indo-European languages?

-Maybe.

-Pashto?

No, no, that would be smaller.

We're going wider.

It's... I think that's it.

Three seconds.

AMBER BUZZES

-Indo-European.

-Indo-European.

Is the right answer, and why is that?

Well...

Well, it's a language, or a group of languages.

So we think they're getting bigger as you go along.

Yeah, that's right. The language Punjabi,

we're following its sort of

family tree, as it were,

getting bigger, so

Punjabi is an Indo-Aryan language.

All Indo-Aryan languages are Indo-Iranian. All Indo-Iranian

languages are Indo-European,

so we're going through the language subgroup towards family. Well done.

-Back to you, Bookworms, for a choice.

-Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. What would be the fourth in the sequence?

Here's the first.

Revolutions?

Next, please.

When it joined the EU or something?

-Hungary? No.

-Keep going.

Next, please.

Oh, is it a football thing?

-Oh, yeah, I think it is.

-World Cup.

-Losing finalists, going in...

Oh, it's who won it,

so I think it's Germany, so it would be who did they beat, which is...

Three seconds.

DAVE BUZZES

Is it...

2014, Argentina?

It is 2014, Argentina.

Yes, I think you know

it's a football question there,

World Cup losing finalists, but what is the sequence?

Is it when the winners were Germany or West Germany?

That's absolutely right,

they are teams that lost in the final

to Germany. Well done.

-Athenians, what would you like?

-Lion, please.

Lion, OK, what would be the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Next, please.

-It's a Clash album.

-Really?

-Also a freedom fighter in Nicaragua.

Could it be... Let's go next.

Yeah, that's... Next, please.

Songs In The Key Of Life, oh, that's... So what's the next one?

-Sandinista! is a triple album.

-Right.

Songs In The Key Of Life is a double album so you need a single album.

Just a single album.

Imagine by John Lennon or something. Just an album, basically.

Just a single album, so, for example, 19 by Adele.

That would do, yes.

We went with Thriller, I think

our questioner is more of a fan of Michael Jackson.

But, yes, a single album.

And the other clues?

Well, we've never heard of the first one

but we assume it's a four album album.

Sandinista! is a triple album,

Songs In The Key Of Life is a double album.

That's right, what about the performers, Sandinista!?

-That's the Clash.

-Yep. Songs In The Key Of Life

a double album from...

-Stevie Wonder.

-That's absolutely right.

Zaireeka, yes,

it's The Flaming Lips. And it's a quadruple album.

But the idea is that it would be played simultaneously,

so in order to enjoy that album...

-Four CD players.

-Yes.

Or record players, but not just that,

four people,

to put it all on simultaneously

in order to have the piece of music.

But, yes, a single album is what I wanted to hear, well done.

-Bookworms, what would you like?

-Eye of Horus again.

OK, the Eye of Horus. What would be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

-Trianon is a... at the end of...

-Treaties.

Treaties at the end of the First World War. But which order?

-Four, three, two, one?

-Next, please.

So, Neuilly, yeah. Possibly, but

there could be another one. Next, please.

Saint Germain. So it could be either side, Germany.

-Is it who signed it?

-It will be, no,

yeah, it will be the team... The team?!

-The country.

-Shall we go with that?

Um... One, Versailles,

and in brackets, Germany.

That is the right answer.

What is this sequence?

I'm guessing this is the reverse order

of post World War I peace treaties,

where they were signed

and the defeated nation they were signed with.

That's right, League of Nations

treaties after the First World War,

but going backwards, the first one, the Treaty of Versailles.

You spotted that early, well done,

coming in after three clues, you get two points.

Athenians, one last question, a Horned Viper.

What's the fourth in this sequence?

You'll be expecting pictures because we haven't had them. It is.

Here's your first clue.

It looks like some kind of silver birch or something. Next, please.

Next, please.

-Oh, nice, so just a pine?

-Is it going down or is it going up?

I believe it's a single leaf, shall we say that?

I think it's a single leaf.

Go for it.

-An oak tree.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

There's a bonus possibility for the Bookworms.

-Ash tree.

-Not it either.

What do you think is appearing at clue two?

I thought it was a hornbeam.

-No, it's an oak tree.

-Oh, drat!

Having said you should stay in more,

perhaps you should get out more.

The first picture is a birch, the second is an oak,

the third is a pine.

It is most common British trees

according to the Forestry Commission,

I wanted to hear the most common of all, the spruce.

Pictures of lovely spruces. Common British trees.

No points there, then, but at the end of round two,

the Bookworms have six points,

the Athenians have 10.

Time for the connecting wall now

and the Athenians will be going first this time.

-You have the choice, Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

OK, two and a half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting now.

-Bird.

-Swift.

-Jay.

OK, let's go...

-We've got rivers. Dee is a river, Wye is a river.

-Usk. Good.

We've got... Have we got palindromes?

-Pop, level, deed. And eye.

-Nice.

No, there's others. Oh, no, they've gone.

Three strikes, now, be careful.

Shuttle means to move fast, swift is fast. What's twite?

-Never heard of it.

-We've only got the three lives.

-I know, I'm just...

-Clear the screen.

-Poppy seed.

Any other seeds? No.

Sweet pea?

Blue jay. Blue sea. Shuttlecock. Peacock. Poppycock.

-Nice!

-So what's the other one?

-Slow down, don't complete it.

-It's OK.

So what could the others be, then?

Do you know what the other cock is?

Swift, Jonathan Swift?

I was thinking Jonathan Swift.

Twite, what is twite?!

-Twit, at the beginning of it.

-Twit.

Jay, sea, hang on, pea,

they're all homophones of letters.

-Are they?

-Yeah. J, C and P.

So what's the other one then?

-No.

-It's the cock, it's got to be.

-So it's poppy...

-Shuttlecock.

We've got time, let's not resolve it yet.

I think there might be a shag cock.

Right, shag and jay are both birds,

swift is a bird so one of these.

Shall we guess twite is a bird?

If we go for these two, sea cock or

-twite cock, try that.

-That's it.

You solved them all, very well done.

Now, what about the connections?

The first blue group starting Taff.

-All rivers.

-I need to hear something else.

-OK, Welsh rivers.

They are Welsh rivers.

They're all pronounced in a variety of beautiful melodic ways

that I'm not even going to attempt at this point. All Welsh rivers.

The next green group, starting eye.

They're all palindromes.

They are - eye, pop, deed, level -

all read the same in both directions.

The purple or pink group, starting sea?

Can all be followed by the word cock.

Absolutely. Seacock, poppycock, shuttlecock, peacock. I mean, please!

Are you giggling because they can all be followed by the word cock?

The last light blue group, starting shag.

They're all birds.

They're all birds, yes.

I mean, you were right, there is

a false group which sounds like letters. Sea, pea, jay.

But you'd already got rid of the red herrings before you got there.

Eye, Dee, Wye, lots of them.

But you didn't fall for it.

Six fake clues but you got rid of three of them before you got there.

So, four points for the groups you found, four for the connections,

the bonus points for getting it all right, that is a maximum of ten.

Let's bring in the Bookworms now, give them a new connecting wall.

The Water wall, and see what they can do about solving it.

You'll have two and a half minutes for this wall, starting now.

-Jockeys.

-Eldorado is a sort of lost thing.

Boyle's Law, Henry's Law, Avogadro's Law, Gay-Lussac's Law.

OK, Eldorado, Atlantis, Shangri-La. Shall we try the laws?

-Boyle, Henry, Gay-Lussac.

-Avogadro.

-Avogadro.

He's a jockey, I know that much.

Oh, there's some... There's defunct...

-What's that, that's for the...

-Norse Gods.

Places they go. So, Asgard, Atlantis.

-Avalon.

-Avalon, Shangri-La?

What's Shambhala? Because that's, I think, Tibetan.

Avalon, Shangri-La.

We've also got... I know we've also got, we've got defunct...

So you've got Crossroads, Triangle,

-Eldorado.

-Defunct TV shows?

-But is there...

-Atlantis,

but it hasn't finished yet, has it?

Frankie, I've got Frankie Vaughan,

-Frankie Dettori.

-Frankie Knuckles?

Possibly. I was thinking he's a gangster or something.

Yes, well done. Right. So we've got to...

-OK.

-So what's Compact? Compact I don't think is...

-I think there's...

-Three strikes now and a minute left.

-OK.

-So, we've got... well, we could try those.

-Shambhala, Shangri-La, Atlantis, Asgard.

-We tried that.

And then Compact I don't think is like a...

Triangle is a...a soap in the...

-I know, yeah.

-That's it, you solved them all, very well done.

I can give you points for the connections as well.

So the first group, Boyle, Henry, Avogadro, Gay-Lussac.

Eponymous laws in science.

That's right, anything more specific you want to tell me?

Boyle's Law is something to do with pressure and temperature.

That's too specific, I'm bored.

Gas laws, laws of physics specifically,

that branch of science, named after physicists, well done.

-The green group, Dettori, Knuckles, Vaughan, Avalon.

-Frankies.

-They're all Frankies.

-They're all famous Frankies.

Frankie Knuckles is the godfather of house music, died in 2014,

an American record producer.

The pink or purple group, Shangri-La, Atlantis, Asgard, Shambhala.

-Mystical.

-Mystical... Mystical sort of nirvanas.

-Great places to be, really.

-Well, yes, I think I can take that.

My notes say mythical places, but who's to say? Perhaps they're real.

And the last blue group, Compact, Eldorado, Triangle, Crossroads.

-Are these defunct soap operas?

-They are former British soap operas.

How do you know Triangle? It's something from 1981 set on a ferry.

Eldorado is the second worst,

and the worst was supposedly

Triangle, about a cruise ship going around the North Sea.

But you haven't seen it?

-I've seen a clip of it.

-You can't know without seeing the whole thing,

it may be the greatest programme ever broadcast.

Apart from this, of course.

You found the groups, you told me all the connections,

you get the bonus points, that is a total of 10.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Bookworms have 16 points,

the Athenians have 20.

So, the old Clash question, should I stay or should I go,

that will be determined by the missing vowels round.

Teams, we've taken... Well, you know the drill.

Put your fingers on the buzzers.

I can tell you that the first group are all things

that are black and white.

-Bookworms.

-Piano keys.

-Correct.

Athenians.

Too long, I'm afraid. Bookworms, do you know?

Opponents in chess.

That's correct. Next clue.

-Bookworms.

-Friesians.

Yes, it's the breed of cow. Next clue.

-Bookworms.

-Pepe Le Pew.

The famous skunk, correct.

Next category, song titles with the season moved along by one.

-Bookworms.

-Hazy Shade Of Spring.

-Instead of winter, correct.

-Bookworms.

-Summertime For Hitler?

-Yes, it is.

-Athenians.

-Autumn Tumbles?

I'm afraid that's not it. Bookworms, do you know?

Autumntime Blues.

The song is Autumntime Blues.

-Athenians.

-Winter Almanac?

-Correct.

Next category, they're all sisters.

-Athenians.

-Venus and Serena.

-Correct.

Bookworms. No, sorry. You lose a point. Athenians?

Lisa and Anna?

I'm afraid not, they're not famous sisters,

we're looking for Elsa and Anna from Frozen.

-Oh, God!

-Next clue.

-Athenians.

-Beatrice and Eugenie.

-Correct.

END OF ROUND JINGLE

Yes, it was those princesses of York.

But the bell has gone for the end of the quiz and, well,

I can tell you that after that heated round four, the winners

and through to the quarterfinals with 22 points

are the Bookworms.

And finishing in honourable second with 21 points,

it's the Athenians.

Very well done, great round for you, there, Katy.

Very impressive missing vowel-ing

takes your team through to the next round.

Athenians, I'm sorry, you have been a great team

and you've had a very good show tonight but we have to say goodbye.

Yes, at this stage in the proceedings,

the winning team fight on,

the losing team are fed into the mincer and turned into sausages,

albeit sausages with a higher than usual percentage of brain,

which, given the sausages we usually have here, is saying a beakful.

Goodbye.