Yorkers v Operational Researchers Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect,

the quarterfinals, where the questions

get harder and the distinctions more subtle.

So, for example, at this stage, the teams would understand that

whereas I as the host am completely disinterested,

it's you the viewers who are bored. Let's meet those surviving teams.

On my right, Jack Johannes Alexander, a maths student who

plays four instruments and is learning a further two.

Joe Crowther, a maths and philosophy student who was named after

a character in a Kafka novel and plays the Theremin.

And the captain, Alasdair Middleton, a third maths student and keen rugby

player who attended the investiture of the High Sheriff of Carlisle.

United by a yearning for all things Jorvik, they are the Yorkers.

You won both your heats to reach the quarterfinal.

How are you feeling about tonight's opposition?

Well, we've heard they're a pretty good side,

but we're hoping that our clinical

Barca style of play should see us through.

-Your clinical WHAT style of play?

-Barca style of play.

I'm glad that's what you said.

Good luck. That opposition is on my left.

Paul Allen, a civil servant

and Manchester United fan who recently wandered into a drinks

reception with the Russian Ambassador and several minor royals.

Alex Hill, a maths graduate who used to work for the UN

and once helped Dame Shirley Williams off a train.

And their captain, Clare Lynch, a civil servant

and analyst who had lunch in a men's prison on Friday.

United by the appliance of science,

they are the Operational Researchers.

Claire, you've had a slightly less

straightforward route to this quarter-final.

You lost to the Cluesmiths, you

beat the Polyglots and then beat the Spaghetti Westerners.

Which was your favourite game?

I think it was definitely the game against the Polyglots,

cos we beat the Wall, which is what we wanted to do.

How are you feeling about tonight's line-up?

Um, well, yeah, they've won two games, so, you know,

we're just pleased to be here.

Well, you've started well. You won the toss, so you'll be going first.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Could we have the Horned Viper, please?

-Yes, you could.

I simply want to know, what is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Er, next.

THEY WHISPER

I think we're probably going to need another one, aren't we?

Er, next, please.

THEY WHISPER

Let's just have a quick look. Becky. Cold, Western.

Er, next, please.

THEY WHISPER

BUZZ

They're all fronts. They can all precede the word front.

Rebecca Front, the comedy actor, broadcaster and writer,

cold front, Western front, obviously.

Where do we meet the Judean People's front?

That's in the Life Of Brian.

That's right, they're a splinter faction

in Monty Python's Life Of Brian.

So, a point to you. Yorkers, your turn to choose.

-Er, Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

DING

The music question. You look pleased. Not fans of the music question?

-We've had it every single time, I'm afraid, so far.

-Yeah.

-Perhaps it's good luck. You've won every game.

-Yeah.

All right. What is the connection between these musical clues?

Here's the first.

# Wake up, Maggie, I think I've got... #

Next.

# You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar

# When I met you

# I picked you out I shook you up... #

Er, next.

MUSIC: So What by Miles Davis

Yeah.

It's not Take Five, is it?

THEY WHISPER

Next.

# I would like to... #

THEY WHISPER

Three seconds.

Er, were they all covered by... I don't know.

Do they all have more successful cover versions?

They do not all have more

successful cover versions,

so it's a bonus opportunity

for the operational researchers.

THEY WHISPER

Were they all covered...

-Are they all covered by Johnny Cash?

-No, they weren't.

-The last one was covered by Johnny Cash.

-I'd like to hear his vision.

The first one, Maggie May,

you couldn't have a better version of

that, surely, than the original by...

Rod Stewart.

OK, and the original of the

Johnny Cash one that we heard was...

-Nine Inch Nails?

-Nine Inch Nails.

Yes. And we also heard from

the Human League, Miles Davis -

it's units of length.

Rod, league, mile, inch - units of length in the performers' names.

Rod Stewart, Human League,

Miles Davis, Nine Inch Nails.

That's what we wanted.

So you don't get a bonus, Researchers,

-but you do get a question. Which one?

-Can we have the Lion, please?

You certainly can. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Er, next.

THEY WHISPER

I think we need the next one, don't we? I think we need the next one.

Er, next.

THEY WHISPER

It's got to be something... Er, next. Please.

THEY WHISPER

Three seconds. BUZZ

Um, no, sorry.

Nothing at all?

Yorkers, do you want to have a go?

Um, they all received the Iron Cross.

They did not all receive

the Iron Cross.

Now, that last one should really be

the giveaway clue.

John Cairncross was a member of MI6,

prime suspect for being the fifth man in the Cambridge spy ring,

but all these people have been accused of that.

Ludwig Wittgenstein, the philosopher,

he was accused of being the fifth man.

ASF Gow - he was Orwell's

tutor at Eton, and it was actually

Brian Sewell, the art critic,

who said he was the fifth man.

Guy Liddell, deputy director-general

of MI5. All alleged fifth men, and

John Cairncross, the top suspect.

Now I say it, does the name Cairncross ring a bell?

I thought Roger Hollis was the main Fifth Man suspect.

Cairncross is the one they say now.

The fact is, if his name means nothing to you, how successful!

-Yorkers, which question would you like?

-Eye of Horus.

Eye of Horus.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Paula Radcliffe maybe?

Next.

-(I presume that's...)

-Yeah. Next.

-No idea.

-I think it's... Is it Steve Jones?

I don't know. Next.

It's Steve Jones.

Are they all Steve Jones?

They are all Steve Jones.

What can you tell me about the various Steve Joneses?

-The Sex Pistols guitarist was called Steve Jones.

-Yup.

The host of 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow was called Steve Jones.

Yes, which one?

The hot Welsh ex-model Steve Jones.

He's the host of Leaving A Gameshow.

What is the title of Geneticist and Curiosities captain Steve Jones?

-Dr Steve Jones?

-Professor Steve Jones.

-Professor Steve Jones.

The Curiosities,

they were a great team

in an Only Connect charity special.

Ah, yes.

Professor Steve Jones was a captain and, of course,

the Welsh athlete Steve Jones broke the record, the marathon.

All Steve Joneses.

Well done for a point and back to you, Operational Researchers,

-for a choice.

-The Water, please.

-Water.

What connects these clues? Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

No, is this the countries in 1984?

-No, it's not.

-OK, next.

"Ambassador: USA and Canada."

-Rivers.

-Next.

-Bridges?

-Oh, that connect...

-Yes.

They're bridges that connect these countries.

That's absolutely right.

It's the names of bridges that

connect the two countries

shown after the colon, well done.

Last question of the round for you, then, Yorkers, the Twisted Flax.

I expect these are going to be pictures because we haven't seen any.

What links them? Here's the first.

Is that Jane Seymour?

-It could be, yeah.

-Next.

No idea.

Next.

I recognise her, but...

Next.

It's a Blue Peter dog, isn't it?

Do you know what it's called?

Three seconds.

Do they all share names

with wives of Henry VIII?

SHE CHUCKLES

No, they don't.

But it's a nice guess. Researchers,

do you want to go for a bonus point?

Do they all share names with characters from The Simpsons?

No, they don't do that, either.

Yes, I'm afraid, as threatened,

at the quarterfinal stage

the difficulty ramps up a bit.

Nobody got this one.

They all have

different-coloured eyes.

The actress Jane Seymour,

Kate Bosworth, as well.

Michael Flatley the dancer and Mabel,

may she rest in peace,

the Blue Peter dog,

all different coloured eyes.

Who might you expect to see?

-David Bowie.

-David Bowie,

but why wouldn't you see him?

Cos he actually doesn't have different-coloured eyes.

No, both his eyes are blue.

But one of the pupils is permanently

dilated after a fight.

He got punched there, yes.

Exactly so, he doesn't have

different-coloured eyes

but these people/creatures all do.

At the end of round one,

the Yorkers have one point,

the Operational Researchers have two.

What the hell!

Let's make it more difficult again with the sequences round.

This time I want to know what comes fourth in a sequence.

Researchers, you have the dubious honour of going first again.

-Could we have the Eye of Horus, please?

-Absolutely.

What would be the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

The first thing said on... I don't know.

Next.

Scenes of London, it's the backdrop, isn't it?

Channel 4...BBC, ITV, I think we're going to have to go...

-Is it the first programmes on those channels?

-I don't know.

BBC rather than BBC One... Next.

-Yes, I think so.

-Yes, Countdown?

Is it Countdown, Channel 4?

That is the right answer.

You could have come in after

two clues there. As I heard you

saying, they are the first

programmes on the first four

channels in chronological order.

Yes, Playschool wasn't supposed to be the first programme on BBC Two,

but they had technical difficulties the first day

they went to broadcast,

so they just picked up the next day,

which happened to have Playschool

on in the morning and, yes,

Countdown, the quiz show, was the first ever on Channel 4. Well done.

-Yorkers, what would you like?

-Lion.

Lion, what would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Months old?

Next.

THEY WHISPER

Next.

Three seconds.

2so.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Researchers, do you know?

Erm... 2co?

No, it isn't a 2 at all.

These are printers' codes for paper sizes.

I wanted to hear fo for folio, which

is just a piece of paper folded once.

And if you fold it again, you get quarto,

that's clue three in this sequence,

but we're going backwards.

So we're starting at 16mo

for sextodecimo, then we go octavo,

quarto, folio and the paper is,

as it were, being folded fewer

times as you go along the sequence.

Folio is the answer denoted by fo.

Researchers, what would you like?

-Could we have the Horned Viper, please?

-Absolutely.

These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

-That's Alberta.

-OK.

Next.

-Alberta, what's that?

-It's a baobab tree.

-What, sorry?

-Baobab tree. I'm not sure.

Shall we go next?

We need next. Next.

Cadillac. Is that a Cadillac?

-So it is ABC.

-ABC.

Pink Cadillac. Alberta.

It looks like...

Three seconds.

Er...er...

Something beginning with D, a dog.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Yorkers, would you like to have

-a go for a bonus point?

-A druid.

A druid is exactly what we went for ourselves.

I'd also have taken Ken Dodd, David, various things.

Why is it druid and not dog?

Because it's beginning and ending with consecutive letters.

That's what it is.

We're looking at Alberta,

then the baobab tree

and the Cadillac topped and tailed

by As, Bs, Cs, and I needed

something that starts and stops

with a D - for example, druid.

Well done, Yorkers, you get

a bonus point and a question.

-Which is it to be?

-Water, please.

-Water.

What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Maybe. Next.

Sort of like Japanese.

-Could be, yeah.

-Next.

Is it rivers, then?

-What would it be?

-Euphrates.

-Euphrates.

Euphrates.

Is the right answer. You seem unsure.

Why do you think it might be Euphrates?

-Well, we think they might be rivers in...

-Babylon.

..a particular area or country getting longer.

Ah, you see, that's not the sequence,

so you're lucky to guess that.

It's rivers with their origin

in Paradise in a biblical order.

So in the book of Genesis, these

rivers are all named, and Genesis

spells out the name of the first of

the rivers that start in Paradise is,

"Pison: that is which compasseth the whole land of Havilah," the name

of the second river is Gihon,

"that compasseth

"the whole land of Ethiopia,"

the name of the third river is

Hiddekel and the fourth is Euphrates.

According to the Bible,

they have their origins in Paradise

in that order, so wrong reasoning, but right guess.

Euphrates gets you the points.

Operational Researchers, what would you like?

-Could we have the Twisted Flax, please?

-Certainly, you could.

What would be fourth in the sequence? Here's the first.

It's American presidents. Harding...

So do we want next to see if it's ones that died?

Next.

Roosevelt died.

Ones that didn't complete their term.

JFK, Johnson, Nixon, Ford.

Nixon arrow Ford.

Nixon arrow Ford.

Coming in after two clues, you get

three points. It is Nixon arrow Ford.

Do you know why that is, Paul?

They are American presidents who didn't complete their term.

-So they were succeeded by their vice president.

-That's exactly right.

The second name is the vice president who became

president during

the term of the first.

And what were the reasons?

Harding and Roosevelt died.

JFK was assassinated and Nixon got into trouble.

That's basically it.

Deaths, assassinations

and resignations are the reasons for

vice presidents becoming president.

And next would be Nixon-Ford, well done.

OK, Yorkers, that leaves only the Two Reeds for you.

What would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Next.

Irish... Could be Irish...

Next.

That's the only thing I can think of as a connection.

Yes, yes, but we need an answer.

-Enda K, I think, is the last one.

-Enda K? OK.

Enda K?

Is the right answer. And why?

It's Irish prime ministers going up to the most recent one.

Heads of the Irish government,

more commonly known as...

-HE ATTEMPTS TO PRONOUNCE:

-Taoisigh.

Taoisigh, that's the plural

of Taoiseach. Taoisigh.

What are the names of these Taoisigh,

if you spelled them out in full?

It's Bertie Ahern, is the only one I can actually remember.

Enda Kenny is the current one.

I can't remember either of the other two.

John Bruton, succeeded by

Bertie Ahern, then Brian Cowen

followed by Enda Kenny, who was

the Taoiseach at time of recording.

Well done.

At the end of round two, the Yorkers have six points,

the Operational Researchers have seven.

Time for the Connecting Wall now and, Yorkers,

It's your turn to go first, so would you like Lion or Water?

-Water, please.

-OK, you have two-and-a-half minutes

to solve the Water wall, starting now.

Transformers.

-Shunt.

-Shunt, rear-end.

-Oh, yes.

Probe or aquaplane?

Artists.

No.

What is a coaxial pair?

That sounds like something mathsy that we should know.

It does, doesn't it?

Jumper cable, coaxial pair cable.

Busbar cable.

Let's have another one.

-I can't see any word ones.

-No, me neither.

Ends in lock, ends in rand.

Oh, what? You think that might be...?

Oh, no, cos Locke's got an E at the end, hasn't it?

What? As in the author?

Do we think that could be cable?

It could be.

I haven't heard of any other types.

It could be something that goes before,

because probe usually follows...

Space probe or something.

Not liking this.

No. Going to try the cables.

That's it. You've solved the wall.

There's four points for the groups you've found.

What about the connections?

The first blue group starting Bumblebee.

They're all Transformers.

Are they specifically Autobots?

They are Autobots in Transformers, quite right.

The next green group starting blow-out?

They're all sort of accidents you can have in a car.

All vehicular mishaps.

What about the purple group? Jumper, probe, busbar, coaxial pair.

Are they kinds of cable?

You're in the right universe, but they're not all kinds of cable.

Tell me one other thing.

Things that start. Start something.

I can't take it, I'm afraid. Not for a place in the semifinal.

They're not all cables, they are all electrical conductors.

You've got some cables in there, but electrical conductors is what

I wanted to hear.

And the light-blue group, rebrand, grimlock, okay and sidle?

-They all end in comedians.

-Yes, they do.

Russell or Jo Brand at the end of rebrand,

Sean Lock, Peter Kay, Eric Idle, comedians hiding at the end there.

Well spotted.

That is four points for the groups you found,

three for the connections - that's a total of seven.

Let's bring back the Operational Researchers, give them

an equally fiendish quarterfinal wall and see if they can solve it.

It'll be the Lion wall for you, cos Water's been taken.

Two-and-a-half minutes, of course, starting now.

Swarovski, Tiffany.

Swarovski.

-Lalique?

-Lalique is, yup.

Golden Gate Bridge, Rialto Bridge...

There's Venice things, as well.

So there's Lido, Rialto, Murano.

That looks like it could be. No. Or that.

Or that. OK.

What's EasyCruiseOne?

Or Bond Bug or...

Lucozade.

Atomic Kitten.

-Basketball Diaries.

-Shall we try bridges again?

-That could be a bridge.

-It's got bridge in it.

-Yeah.

Shall we try Venice things? Those three are Venice.

Venice Kitten!

Or Crevan.

-EasyCruiseOne, what could it be?

-OK.

ECO? BB?

Kitten. Kit-ten. Kitten's got ten in it.

-Have any others got numbers?

-One.

No, it can't be.

That's got alto in it.

Alto....

What small word...?

THEY WHISPER

Shall we try the ones that look like they don't fit with anything else?

Yeah, that's Venice.

OK, so...

Basketball's red, Golden Gate Bridge is red. Bond Bug.

Have you got something in the words?

Er...

Lucozade Sport.

Basketball Diaries, basketball...

You've got 30 seconds.

Is it...? No, it's not spelt that way, is it? The currency.

Rialto....

I think we should maybe try guessing some.

-Yeah.

-We've done those two, so maybe that?

BUZZ

Two goes and ten seconds.

No, that's it, that's your three strikes. The wall has frozen.

But you found two groups - not easy on that wall -

and I will give you points for the connections.

What about the first dark-blue group?

Kind of jewellers? Tiffany make jewellery.

They make glassware, as well, Swarovski and Lalique.

Oh, yeah, glassware.

Decorative jewelled glassware, that's right. Manufacturers of that.

And the second green group, what can you tell me about that one?

Are they all Venice-related? Are they all places in Venice?

Yes, they are. Can you be any more specific?

Erm, within the lagoon?

Yeah, they're islands of Venice. That's absolutely right,

it is a lagoon. Quite right.

And you can get points for the connections in the groups you

didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

Purple group starting scimitar.

If you don't know, you won't work it out.

They're Reliant cars.

Yes, Reliant Scimitar, Reliant Kitten and so on, they're Reliant cars.

And the light-blue group starting Lucozade.

They're all an orange colour.

They're all orange. I mean, that is the right answer.

EasyCruiseOne is like the easyJet type of thing,

the Golden Gate Bridge.

Basketballs, they used to be brown, but in the '50s it was changed

to orange for sort of visibility reasons.

So two points for the groups you found

and three for the connections - that's a total of five.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Operational Researchers have 12 points, the Yorkers have 13.

So a close-run thing for the semifinal place.

It will be decided in the missing-vowels round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams. Be careful, good luck.

The first group are all...

-Researchers.

-Sebastian Coe.

-Correct.

-Researchers.

-Imran Khan.

-Correct.

-Yorkers.

-Vitali Klitschko.

-Correct.

-Yorkers.

-Jesse Ventura.

Yes, it is. Next category...

Like Britain Great.

-Yorkers.

-Zealand New.

-Correct.

-Yorkers.

-Salvador El.

-Yes, it is.

-Researchers.

-Arabia Saudi.

Well spotted.

-Researchers.

-Lanka Sri.

-Yes, it is.

Next category...

-Yorkers.

-The Firebird.

-Correct.

Don't know this one. It's The Three-Cornered Hat. Next clue.

Not ballet fans. This one's Daphnis And Chloe.

Next clue.

-Yorkers.

-The Rite Of Spring.

-Of course.

Next category...

-Yorkers.

-Edinburgh Napier.

-Yes, it is.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

No more universities, for that is the end of the quiz.

After a tough Round Four, finishing with 20 points

and through to the semifinals are

the Yorkers. Very well done to you.

In second place with 16 points,

it's the Operational Researchers.

Sorry, guys, you've had lots of games and an up-and-down journey,

but you've been great, some really good quizzing.

Sorry to see you go home.

So that's it for this week, but if you're itching for more

connections, don't forget the Only Connect cookery book

is now out, full of all sorts of linking recipes that confound

the traditional divisions between courses.

If you haven't tried the prawn balti brulee, you haven't lived.

Then again, if you have, you've probably died. Goodbye.