Genealogists v Surrealists Only Connect

Good evening.

Cartographers have recently worked out that, based on current maps

and assuming they set off from their native Leith,

travelling via the Zeebrugge ferry, that The Proclaimers' girlfriend

lives in the Polish town of Bialystok.

And it's that kind of rigorous thinking that I'm hoping to see

from tonight's new teams, who are...

On my right, Derek Caudwell,

a freelance indexer, whose recent books have included

titles on accountancy,

landscape gardening, training for beauty salons and welding.

Andy Crane, a retired business analyst, who married his wife

in Sri Lanka and travelled to the ceremony on an elephant.

And their captain, Traci Whitehead,

a medieval and renaissance studies graduate, who enjoys

playing and writing live action role-play games.

United by a fascination with their families, they are the Genealogists.

How has your team been preparing for Only Connect?

We've been training our brain cells

by feeding them copious amounts of alcohol, to strengthen them.

You will be facing tonight... On my left, Jeremy Partington,

a civil servant who conducts guided tours of the crypts

at Nunhead Cemetery in London.

Chris James, a software developer

who once saw Charlton Heston fall down a hole

at a set of roadworks.

And their captain, Jonathan Carter,

a law graduate who once chased ornithologist Bill Oddie

to his dressing room, in pursuit of an autograph.

United by a soft spot for surrealism,

they are the Surrealists.

How are the Surrealists feeling, ahead of tonight's heat?

I think we're as prepared as we can be for this quiz,

and we're hoping the questions just fall our way.

We'll start, as is only traditional, with round one.

What is the connection between four apparently random clues?

Surrealists, you won the toss

but you've decided to put the Genealogists in first.

Traci, please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph. Lion, please.

What is the connection between these apparently random clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

It's words that nearly have the same letters

but with minor variations, isn't it?

Iceland and Ireland have a letter difference.

Million and billion have got a letter difference.

Shall we go for that? Yeah.

BUZZER CHIMES

They're words which are different by only one letter.

Ireland and Iceland, million and billion.

Much as I salute your brave gamble coming in after two clues,

I can also give you the points. It's the right answer, well done.

You saw the codes for Ireland and Iceland, and million and billion.

One letter difference each time.

What are these clues you didn't need?

Beta. And theta? Beta and zeta, the Greek letters.

Caesium and... Something else.

Chromium? Curium.

Curium, those are the elements, yes.

They are clues that would, when spelled out,

differ by only one letter. Well done for three points.

Surrealists, your turn to choose. Water, please.

MUSICAL CHIME

Ah.

The music question, nice and early.

You'll be hearing your clues. What connects them?

Here's the first.

# I know I won't be late Cos at half past eight... #

Next, please.

# I've spent all of my life in search of your love... #

Next, please.

# Just waiting for bread

# Once I built a railroad I made it run...

Next, please.

# Bad times are coming And I reap what I don't sow

# Well, let me tell you somethin' All that glitters ain't gold... #

Three seconds. Try that. What? Apprentice theme tunes.

Themes to television shows? They're not.

They'd make good themes to television shows,

but they don't have that connection.

Genealogists, you have the chance of a bonus point.

We think they all have "buddy" in the title.

That's not it, either.

You're thinking of the third clue,

Bing Crosby, Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

We also heard Al Jolson, About A Quarter To Nine,

Lionel Richie, Penny Lover.

The last one, I Need A dollar.

They're titles contain American currency.

Quarter, penny, dime, dollar. I interviewed Lionel Richie once.

He's incredibly attractive.

You wouldn't think so, because you picture the sort of wet perm

and the '80s clothes and the dancing shoes and think of a comical figure.

Incredibly attractive. He's no Portillo, but I was very impressed.

No bonus points, unfortunately, Genealogists,

but you may choose a question. Two Reeds, please.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

They might be grace notes, are they?

Next, please.

Lotharios. What can you say about lotharios?

Next, please.

That's the Wolverhampton Wanderers.

So is it wandering? Wandering. Wanderers.

Wandering or Wanderers.

Another brave gamble.

This time, I'm afraid not the answer I'm looking for,

so I'm going to show the fourth clue

to the Surrealists, for a possible bonus point. Wolf?

Wolves. That is the right answer.

Yes, the Molineux team are Wolverhampton Wanderers.

You went for the wrong half of it.

And these other things - unfortunately,

the answer to this question is a word that I cannot say.

I can't pronounce it. So I'm going to ask you to say the word for me.

A violin's extraneous discordant notes are known as...

Wolves, presumably.

And lotharios, you know a slang term for them would be... Wolves.

And we know the football team

and, of course, Canis lupus is the Latin word for... Wolf.

Thank you very much.

You get the bonus point and you may choose your question.

Horned Viper, please.

These are going to be picture clues.

Something connects them all. What is it? First one coming in now.

That's an...aye-aye, I think.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Dalziel. It's Roman numerals. DL.

Yeah, it is. Oh. So what's it going down?

Just say Roman numerals.

Roman numerals.

They are homophones for Roman numerals.

Don't worry about going up and down, it's not a sequence.

I'll show you the last clue. It would have been Excel.

So of course, the digits in the right-hand corner

are the numbers for which these would be the Roman numerals.

What are we looking at? So that's the aye-aye.

IV. DL.

From Dalziel And Pascoe.

Not everyone knows how to pronounce that,

it's written D-A-L-Z-I-E-L, but pronounced D-L.

Homophones for Roman numerals, well done. Back to you, Genealogists.

What would you like? Eye of Horus, please.

What is the connection between these clues? Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Chain reaction...

Next, please.

Next, please.

Hungarian inventors.

The nuclear? Don't know about that. Three seconds.

Invented or developed by Hungarians.

They were all invented or developed by Hungarians.

I speak a little Hungarian.

That is the right answer.

What can you tell me of the relevant Hungarians?

Rubik and Biro for ballpoint pen.

Erno Rubik and Laszlo Biro, that's right.

The other two, I've got nothing.

Dennis Gabor is the father of holography.

What about the nuclear chain reaction? Do you know over there?

Leo Szilard. All born in Budapest, all of these inventors.

All Hungarians, well done.

That leaves one question for you, Surrealists.

It will be the Twisted Flax. Something connects these clues.

Can you find it? Time starts now.

Next, please.

Is that... Twins with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Was his mother..? Try it. Yeah? No, no, no. Next, please.

I think we should go for it.

Well, what else could it be?

Next, please.

No, that's Bart Simpson.

Is it? Yeah.

Homer Simpson.

A little more specific, please?

They're the voices of the people

who are that relation to Homer Simpson.

I will accept Homer Simpson, because he is the uniting factor,

but they are the relatives of Homer Simpson in that great cartoon.

That means at the end of Round One, the Surrealists have four points.

The Genealogists have four points.

On to Round Two, the sequences round.

You will be going first again, Genealogists.

Which hieroglyph would you like? The lion, please.

MUSICAL CHIME

It's a musical sequence. So, you may hear up to three pieces of music.

I want to know what sort of thing you would expect to hear fourth.

The first one is coming in now.

# Oh, my love, my darling... #

That's Unchained Melody. Next.

# Whoa, my love... #

That's another version of it. That was Jimmy Young. So...

Was it Gareth Gates who did it?

Gareth Gates?

There was Robson and Green.

Robson and Green, and then Gareth Gates. Robson and Jerome.

Gareth Gates, singing Unchained Melody.

The right answer would be Gareth Gates singing Unchained Melody.

Well done. What did we hear? Jimmy Young. Then the Righteous Brothers.

Then, Robson and Jerome, presumably. Yes.

The viewers will be saying

that that's just four versions of Unchained Melody.

The earliest one was Jimmy Young.

They were number ones, weren't they?

There were many versions of Unchained Melody,

but these are the ones that were number one.

In fourth place, Gareth Gates.

We don't have that recorded, but I think we could give people

a sense of what Gareth Gates sounded like when he sang Unchained Melody.

Let's have a go. One, two, three.

# Oh, my love, my darling

# I hunger for your kiss

# A long lonely night... #

Absolutely lovely. I will say it's "I've hungered for your touch".

I'm interested that all three of you went with "kiss",

almost telepathically.

Not being male, I wasn't singing, I was letting my teammates...

Well, it was lovely.

I almost felt that Gareth Gates himself was standing behind me,

looking horrified.

Very well done there, Surrealists, back to you for a choice.

Twisted Flax, please. What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Is it going to be a spectrum? Next, please.

THEY CONFER

What can it be?

It's Re, Mi, Fa,

so it would be SO and then a large G.

Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So...

s-o in lower case and then a capital G.

Is the right answer for three points. Well done.

What are we looking at?

We're looking at the musical scale going upwards, and letters of the...

Oh, no, it's the letter they represent

in the musical scale, isn't it?

Well, we're in the scale of C. It is another musical sequence.

So it's Do, Re, Mi in the scale of C,

so the So note would relate to G. Well done.

Back to you, Genealogists. What would you like? Water, please.

What would come fourth? Here is the first.

Jacques Santer. Of the EU.

Yeah. Next, please.

Santer, Prodi...

Juncker. I'm thinking Juncker.

Go for it? Yeah.

Juncker.

Is the right answer. There's some very good early buzzing.

What are we looking at?

The chairman, well, president of the Euro Commission.

That's absolutely right. Can you do the first names?

It's Jacques Santer.

Jacques Santer. He was the former prime minister of Luxembourg.

He and his team resigned

on the day a report was published into administrative malpractice.

I don't know what happened to him. I think he went to FIFA.

And the second? Romano Prodi. He was the Prime Minister of?

Not sure. Italy.

Italy. And Barroso? Juan Manuel? Jose Manuel.

And the last one, 2014 onwards, Jean-Claude Juncker,

former Prime Minister of Luxembourg.

All presidents of the European Commission. Well done.

Surrealists, what would you like next? Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus, OK.

What will come fourth in this interesting sequence?

Here's the first.

Cube equals x, so 2 cubed equals...

Next, please.

Two to the power of zero is one...

So it's, so it's...

Yeah, no, it's zero equals one...

Yeah, but you need to say what

one is. So it's had a victory. OK.

So, a little raised zero

equals had a victory.

As you have done yourself

in this question,

that is absolutely right,

zero equals, was victorious,

for example, in a quiz.

Very well done. And I think you

spotted it at the very first clue.

What's going on here?

So, if you, it's

two to the power of 3 is eight,

and so consumed is a synonym

for the homophone of the number.

That's absolutely right, it is

homophones of the powers of two.

Two cubed is eight,

sounds like consumed.

Two to the power two, four,

in favour of, two to the

power of one, two itself,

and two to the power of zero,

of course, is one, because anything

to the power of zero is one.

Good quizzing, goodness me.

Very impressive scoring at this

point. What would you like,

Genealogists ? Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds, OK. You're going to see

some picture clues.

They will be coming in a sequence.

What will be fourth?

Here's the first.

Saturn. Saturn.

Next, please.

The sun. Saturn, the sun...

You can't go towards the sun

and go to anywhere else.

It might be alphabetical. Oh, I see

what you mean, alphabetically.

Shall we go?

V, try V.

A picture of Venus.

I know what you're thinking, and I'm

afraid that is not a sequence.

I'm not going to let you talk us

through it, because it might give

too much away to the other team,

but I'm afraid I can't accept that.

I will show the third in the

sequence to the Surrealists

for a possible bonus point.

Saturn, Sun, Moon, yeah?

Is it the... Can't be that.

I can't let you chat.

The smallest object, so,

what's smaller than the moon?

No, that's too long, I'm afraid,

and you haven't got it.

Now... Days of the week.

It's days of the week, isn't it?

You're not just arraying

various things in the sky

in alphabetical order.

Yes, Saturn, that is etymologically

responsible for Saturday,

the Sun for Sunday, Moon for Monday,

and we wanted what?

Thor. Thor. It's actually Tyr,

the Norse god Tyr,

god of victory, ironically enough,

having just missed it there,

giving his name to Tuesday.

Days of the week, well spotted,

but a little too late.

One question remaining for you,

Surrealists, the Horned Viper.

What will come fourth in this

sequence? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Helena is the capital of Montana,

Sacramento is the capital

of California. Right.

So, a sequence,

Montana, California...

Next, please.

Texas.

Is it sizes of states?

Oh, the size of the state.

So, Alaska. Alaska, yeah. So, Juneau. Juneau.

Juneau. Is the right answer.

And what's the sequence?

We think they're the

state capital of states

in ascending order of size.

Size of the state.

That's absolutely right.

It's simply the states getting

bigger, and the capital of Alaska,

the biggest state, would be Juneau.

I once snogged a Texan Marxist.

My friend Charlie said,

"That is a statistical anomaly akin

"to finding a Cornish astronaut."

It was a very interesting evening.

No disrespect to Cornwall, may be

full of astronauts for all I know.

That means, at the end of round two,

the Genealogists have 10 points,

the Surrealists have 12.

Time now for the connecting wall.

There are 16 clues, all jumbled up,

that need sorting into four connected groups of four.

Your turn to go first this time, Surrealists.

And in a surreal twist, just for you,

none of the clues has anything to do with any of the others!

Excellent(!)

No, they do, it's Sudoku-like solution we're looking for.

Would you like Lion or Water?

Lion, please. OK, good choice.

Your two and a half minutes start now.

St Albans, St Kilda, St Ives... Louis?

Albans, Kilda...

That's, um...

There's an American composer. So, Ives...

Barber. Barber.

Glass. Sousa.

Cage. Oh, yes.

Sousa.

OK, you've got, he was a detective.

Oh, Lucia.

Um, Mapple, maybe?

Granger?

They're monks. He's a monk.

Friar Tuck. Friar Tuck.

That's tuck shop, sweat shop. Barber shop.

Let's put tuck shop, sweat shop, barber shop, Photoshop. Workshop.

Workshop, instead.

There isn't... Yes, there is.

OK, so we've got... Three strikes and you're out, now.

We've got St Albans, St Kilda,

St Louis, St Lucia.

So we've got Cadfael, Tuck, Granger and Mapple.

So are they... Are Granger and Mapple monks?

They're friars, aren't they?

Friar, Friar Mapple.

We'll do, members of monastic... We'll say monks.

OK, yeah.

Shall I put it in? Try.

We've got shop, composers...

That's it, you've solved the wall. Very well done.

Four groups, what can you tell me about the connections?

We'll start with the first blue group, starting Sousa.

They're composers. It's not Sou-sa, is it, it's Soo-za

Sousa. They are composers. What sort of composers?

Uh... Are they all American?

They are, they're 20th century American composers.

And what about the green group, starting work?

They can all be followed by the word shop.

Yes, they can. Workshop, Photoshop, barbershop, sweatshop.

And the purple group, starting "Lewis" or Louis?

They all have Saint in front of them. To give place names.

That's right, so it would be St Louis, Missouri,

St Lucia, St Albans and St Kilda.

And what about the turquoise group, starting Mapple or "maple"?

We think that they're monks.

They are not monks. You're in the right area, but went too specific.

Friars. No, they're clergy. Now, you're thinking of men, aren't you?

But Granger is Geraldine Granger from the Vicar Of Dibley.

Not a monk, not a friar.

She is a lady vicar, so not monks.

More generally, clergy.

But you did find four groups

and three connections. That is a total of seven.

Let's bring in the Genealogists now, give them a new connecting wall

with different jumbled-up clues

and see what they can do about solving it.

It's the water wall for you, because the Lion's been taken.

You have two and a half minutes, starting now.

Mercurial, fickle, capricious... Erratic.

Oh, Gwyn, Wight, um, LeBlanc,

something else that means white?

De Witt? No.

Um, what else have we got? Corrie, erratic,

these are all, um, geographical terms.

Right, OK.

Mercurial, capricious... Fickle...

And Kittle?

Oh, OK, right.

Three strikes now, and you're out.

Hang on. Take your time.

Rod Stewart? Hunter and Weisz, they're wives of Rod Stewart.

Oh, Rachel Weisz, Rachel Hunter, yes, could be.

Rachels?

I don't know the others. Weisz, Riley and Hunter.

Riley, Weisz, Rachel...

Anybody know about Treweek? No.

I think De Witt, Treweek, Le Blanc and either Wight or Gwyn.

It'll be Wight. Wight means person.

Isle of Wight, Isle of Man.

Rachel Wight, and try for

the other Rachel. No.

Right, so...

Rachel De Witt, Rachel LeBlanc, Weisz, Riley, Hunter...

No, OK. One more to go then.

Try, try for the, try for the...

Gwyn then.

Meaning...? As a Rachel.

Rachel Gwyn, Rachel Weisz, help me out here.

No, Not Rachel Weisz.

Rachel... We've got Rachel Riley.

Hunter? Hunter.

And...

De Witt?

Can we work out what the other one

is before we commit? No. Ten seconds.

10 seconds. Pick one. Rachel De Witt.

No, that's not it. You're out of goes and the wall is frozen.

But you found two groups. And what about the connections?

Arete, Corrie, Erratic, Roche Moutanee.

Geological terms around glaciers. Mountains.

They're features of glacial erosion. Landscapes. Absolutely right.

And the green group, Kittle, Fickle, Mercurial, Capricious.

They all mean... Well, mercurial, capricious, um,

slightly flaky,

um... Unpredictable. Unpredictable.

Yeah, they're synonyms of each other and they all mean unpredictable.

And you can still get points for the

connections in the groups you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

There we go. Riley, Treweek,

Weisz, Hunter. Are they all Rachels, then? I'm not sure.

They're all Rachels?

They are all Rachels!

Rachel Treweek, you don't know?

No. A theme of this week's show is not knowing the female clergy.

Bishop of Gloucester.

Oh, OK. She's the Bishop of Gloucester.

Very impressive trajectory.

And what about the last turquoise group,

starting Gwyn?

They all mean white. I think they all mean white.

All from the root white.

They do all mean white. They're common surnames that mean white.

White is W-I-G-H`T,

it does mean a person or a man in old writing.

It means a lot of things and one of them is white. OK.

So, you found two groups and four connections,

that's a total of six.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Genealogists have 16 points, the Surrealists have 19.

So, pretty close, as we go into the missing vowels round,

which will decide the outcome of the quiz.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group of missing vowel clues

are all adjectives involving colours.

Genealogists.

Yellow-bellied. Correct.

Surrealists.

Black-hearted. Correct.

Surrealists. Red-faced. Correct.

Genealogists.

White-knuckle. Correct.

Next category, similes.

Genealogists.

Sick as a parrot. Correct.

Genealogists.

Smart as a whip. Correct.

Surrealists.

Clean as a whistle. Yes, it is.

Surrealists.

Blind as a bat. Correct.

Next category, things that are lacking in justice.

Genealogists.

Show trial. Correct.

Surrealists.

Star chamber. Yes, it is.

Surrealists.

Kangaroo court. Correct.

Genealogists.

Vigilantism. Correct.

Next category, comedy duos.

Surrealists.

Hope and Crosby. Yes, it is.

Surrealists.

Cook and Moore. Well done.

Surrealists.

Lucas and Williams. Walliams!

Can't take that, I'm afraid.

Genealogists, do you know? Lucas and Williams?

No, it's Lucas and Walliams.

Next clue.

END-OF`GAME JINGLE

You buzzed, Surrealists, but there wasn't time to tell me the answer.

Barker and Corbett the last duo.

But it's the end of the quiz and I can tell you that,

the winners, and through to the next round,

with 26 points, are the Surrealists.

Very well done to you. We'll be seeing you again.

Genealogists, you've scored 22 points

and, with that excellent score, I can tell you you are in our highest

scoring second place finishes. We'll be seeing you again, as well.

You'll be in the next sub-round, trying to get to round two.

So, very well done, everybody. Excellent quizzing all round.

Thanks very much for playing, and for watching.

Join me next time, for another episode of the quiz so intricate,

that if it were a maze,

it would be one with a really unusual cell structure,

not that normal sort they use to make Corn Flakes.

Yes. That sort of maize.

Deal with it.

Goodbye.