Scunthorpe Scholars v Beekeepers Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect,

the quiz which knows that the obvious just isn't satisfying.

There's more pleasure in illusion and suggestion.

You don't have to spell everything out.

For example, when the poet refers to a

"wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,"

we all know which beasties he's talking about.

We can all picture the small, nervous, hairy,

hunched, twitching, beady-eyed creatures.

Let's meet the teams.

On my right, Paddy Stronach, a former electrochemist

who has eaten llama meat and fished for piranhas on the Amazon.

Michael Wilson, a software developer who enjoys

holidaying with his bridge club and is married to the team captain,

Isabelle Heward, a maths graduate

who has been presented with awards by Princess Anne

on two separate occasions.

United by a love of Lincolnshire, they are the Scunthorpe Scholars.

How's your team been preparing for tonight's game?

Well I'm sure the other two have been practising

in some way or another,

while I've actually just been eating great blocks of chocolate

and drinking draught cider.

I'm definitely going to try that this evening.

Possibly during the show.

You will be facing tonight, on my left, Ian Wallace,

a bee inspector and former accountant

who is a member of the Western Front Association,

the Collingwood Society, the National Trust,

the National Art Fund and the British Beekeepers Association.

Josh Spero, a journalist with a degree in classics

who is said to be unwelcome in Singapore

after writing unfavourably about the country's art scene.

And their captain, Mark Wallace, an archaeology graduate

who enjoys metal detecting and singing sea shanties.

United by a taste for honey, they are the Beekeepers.

And how have you been preparing for tonight?

A lot of honey tasting,

endless anecdotes about bees and their behaviour,

and that's about it.

I notice you share a surname with a team member.

Is that a coincidence?

Ian is my dad, and yes, he's the king of the bees.

Two family teams tonight then.

This could end in carnage. I can't wait.

Let's start with Round One -

what is the connection between four apparently random clues?

Scunthorpe Scholars, you won the toss, you'll be going first.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Lion, please.

Lion will be the first question of the match.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Shall I carry on? Next, please.

We've still got quite a bit of time

but I really...

Do you want me to get the fourth?

I think so. Yes, please.

Next, please.

Required fields...

Is this something...

Three seconds.

BUZZER

What am I saying?

Mandatory.

Not something that connects all the clues, I'm afraid.

Beekeepers, do you want to have a go

for a bonus point?

Is it the star symbol?

The star symbol or the asterisk

denotes all of these.

Talk me through the clues.

So, ungrammatical string follows, not sure,

-must be computer programming of some description.

-Yeah.

Multiply, that's Excel spreadsheets.

We can use the asterisk to multiply.

"Not out" in cricket,

and required field...

When you have newsletters,

it says name, asterisk.

That's right, especially on online forms.

The first one is in linguistics. It's like the word "sic".

It indicates that an ungrammatical string is about to follow.

That asterisk shows that they know that it's ungrammatical,

but it's happening anyway.

So well done, you get a bonus and your chance to choose.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-The Twisted Flax.

Well, it's the music question.

How lovely. What connects the clues you're about to hear?

The first one is coming in now.

# Hey now

# Where you going with that UB40 in your hand? #

Next, please.

# It's quite a struggle every day... #

Is this Cilla Black?

# Living on your father's pay... #

Next please.

# I am bound on a Yankee clipper ship

# Davy Crockett is her name

# And her Captain's name was Burgess... #

-BUZZER

-Liverpool.

Is the right answer. What did we hear?

We're not sure, but they had...

It was Oh, You're A Mucky Kid by Cilla Black.

Liverpool Lullaby is the title. Yep.

The third one was The Leaving Of Liverpool.

-That's right.

-I don't know what the first one was.

It was Going Down To Liverpool.

That was performed by The Bangles.

You didn't need to hear Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool,

-Jimmy Osmond. But you didn't need that one.

-Of course.

Coming in after three clues, you get two points. Very well done.

Scholars, what would you like?

-Water, please.

-The water question.

OK. What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Actaeon spotted Artemis and was killed by his own stag, wasn't he?

Next, please.

-Animals' transformation, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-The character was transformed into that animal by that god.

-Right.

BUZZER

It's transformations.

The god Zeus turned Io into a cow.

Artemis turned Actaeon into a stag.

That is absolutely right.

They are a transformations

performed by Greek gods,

usually as punishments.

Very well done.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds. OK.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Shall we go next? Next, please.

BUZZER

-Hello?

-These are...

Referencing Disney films.

Disney references.

-Oh, really?

-By famous musicians.

Boring and Sick, Madness.

-That'll be a nice summary of Disney.

-Straight to DVD.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm afraid that's an inspired guess, but not the right answer.

Scunthorpe Scholars, do you know what this is?

Well, we think, obviously it's that the groups did songs,

and so Motorhead did a song called Who Killed Bambi?

Bambi's mother.

I mean, they're so nearly, except it would be only that clue

and it's the Sex Pistols.

But other than that, it would be a brilliant answer.

No, these are episodes of The Young Ones.

So, you remember on The Young Ones, there used to be a band performing?

And the reason for that was that variety shows

got a lot more money than sitcoms, so if they had a band on each week

they could say it was a variety show and get more money.

So there was always a band and these are the episodes

in which these bands appeared.

Madness were in two different episodes, Boring and Sick.

So, no points there. But, Scholars, you may choose your own question.

-Horned Viper, please.

-The Viper. OK.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Three seconds.

BUZZER

The location of marathons in those cities in those months.

I'll accept it. Can you be any more specific?

I think Paddy can be, since he told me the answer.

No, not really, it's just...

It's very specifically where the marathons finish.

It is the locations, yes, the marathons take place

in those places, but particularly where they finish.

In fact, in the case of the Chicago Marathon,

it's the start and the finish.

The others are finishes. But, yes, they are marathon locations.

Keen marathon runner, are you, Paddy?

Oh, yes. Twice a week.

If you had to run the marathon,

how quickly do you think you could do it?

About two days.

Well, well done. That is the right connection.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-The Eye of Horus, please.

-That's just as well.

The Eye of Horus is the question you'll be getting,

these are picture clues of course because we haven't had those yet.

Something connects them. What is it? Time starts now.

Next, please.

Next, please.

-So we go with voices?

-Yes, forces.

-BUZZER

These are forces.

Can you be more specific?

Forces in physics.

Well, I'll accept that, because I accepted

the general marathons over there.

Yes, and specifically forces that act on aircraft.

What are we looking at?

So we're looking at mass or weight, drag, thrust, and lift.

You didn't need to see lift of course, but that's right,

they're forces in physics and particularly aircraft

we were thinking of.

That means at the end of Round One,

the Scunthorpe Scholars have four points,

the Beekeepers have five.

On to Round Two, the sequences round and Scunthorpe Scholars,

-you'll be going first again, please choose a question.

-Lion, please.

Lion. OK. I'd like to know what will come fourth in this sequence.

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Indonesia has the highest proportion....

Yeah, I think China is the biggest...

-so it's got to be Christianity...

-In the USA?

Three seconds. BUZZER

-Christianity, USA.

-Is the right answer. And why is that?

Those religions, those countries have got the biggest proportion.

I'm not putting this very well, am I?

Those are the countries where those religions have the biggest

population and it's in order of the biggest religions.

Well spotted.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-The Horned Viper, please.

-The Horned Viper.

What would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Next, please.

So they must be the number of Oscars or time for...

Shall we have another?

-Shall have another one and see?

-Another, please.

..Tom Hanks film?

Three seconds.

BUZZER

Schindler's List.

That wouldn't be a sequence,

I'm afraid, so there's a bonus chance

for the Scunthorpe Scholars.

-Forrest Gump.

-And why would that be?

It's to do with Tom Hanks films

and other than that,

it's just vague inspiration.

Tom Hanks is in all these films,

the director of all of them

is Stephen Spielberg,

so the collaborations between Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks,

and the next would be Bridge Of Spies.

Anybody know what happens in Bridge of Spies?

It's the Gary Powers exchange for the Russian spy. On the bridge.

-And the spy grew up not far from where I live.

-Oh, really?

Not a very good spy if you know that.

Yes, collaborations of Spielberg and Hanks and the next

would be Bridge Of Spies. No points there, I'm afraid.

-But, Scholars, you may choose a question.

-Water, please.

-Water.

Well, a music sequence, yes.

What would you expect to hear in fourth place? Here's the first.

# Welcome to a new kind of tension

# All across the alienation

# Where everything isn't meant to be OK... #

Shall we go for next? Next, please.

# All aboard the night train

# Miami, Florida... #

Shall we just go for the next one? Next, please.

# Don't fear the reaper

# Baby, take my hand

# Don't fear the reaper

# We'll be able to fly

# Don't fear the reaper

# Baby, I'm your man... #

Three seconds. BUZZER

-A track by The Bangles.

-Well, it's not a bad guess,

cos The Bangles would come in a lot of sequences.

Not this one, I'm afraid.

So, Beekeepers, you've got the chance of a bonus point.

Um... I'm Coming Up by Pink.

Would be an acceptable answer, and why is that?

These are the rising number of points for balls in snooker.

-Yes, it's a snooker sequence. What did we hear?

-There was...

Well there was Blue Oyster Cult, Don't Fear The Reaper in there,

-wasn't there?

-Mm-hm.

-And James Brown...

-And Green Day.

-Green Day.

So we needed to hear something pink.

Could've been Pink Floyd, you've gone with Pink and I'm Coming Up.

Unfortunately, we don't have that to play in,

but there's no reason why the viewers shouldn't be reminded.

It's very annoying not to know what song people mean,

so we could perhaps help them out with a blast of it.

One, two, three, four.

# I'm coming up, so you better get this party started... #

Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous.

Although the party started hours ago on this show.

For me, it usually starts about six o'clock in the morning.

Very well done, Beekeepers.

You get the bonus point

and what a beautiful rendition of that final clue.

As a reward, you may pick a question.

-The Eye Of Horus, please.

-The Eye Of Horus.

What would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

F + O + U + R = 8

Not the answer, I am afraid.

Scunthorpe Scholars, I'm going to show you the third of the sequence.

Let's see if you can get a possible bonus point.

F + O + U + R = 7

Is the right answer.

-What is this sequence?

-It's the scores of those letters in Scrabble.

That's absolutely right. Very well done.

You get the bonus point and you may choose a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds, OK. These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

OK, next, please.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

-The Pope.

-And why would that be?

Again, absolutely no idea and I don't like to leave

a gap in conversation.

It seems so rude.

I know exactly what you mean.

If people are quiet for longer than eight seconds, I shout something.

Usually, "The Pope."

It can go very wrong. So I like your social approach but,

unfortunately, that's not the answer.

So, Beekeepers, do you want to have a go?

-Might it be a picture of some cats and dogs?

-And why would that be?

We thought it might be the song about LS Lowry, the Stick Man.

Unfortunately, no.

That is just our question editor's best attempt to draw a man.

But, unfortunately, he's not very good at drawing. What is it?

-It's a man, a plan, a canal: Panama!

-That's what it is.

A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!

And we've got the Panama Papers of course, whereby we learned all

sorts of interesting things about people's tax arrangements.

We could have had a Panama hat, or a picture of Panama itself.

Yes, it is that famous palindrome devised by the

mathematician Lee Mercer.

Well spotted. But a little too late for the points, I'm afraid.

But you will get the last question of the round, the Twisted Flax.

What will come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Next, please.

Three seconds.

They have all got painters' names in them.

Maybe they do, but I want to know what comes fourth in the sequence.

So I'm afraid I must throw it over to the Scunthorpe Scholars

for a possible bonus point.

Leicester City.

I mean, I love it when you come in with a go.

No, but it is a football question.

This is the managerial career of Arsene Wenger.

And after Nagoya Grampus Eight, he went to, of course, Arsenal.

So at the end of Round Two,

the Beekeepers have six points,

the Scunthorpe Scholars have seven.

Time now for the Connecting Wall and it will be the Beekeepers to

go first this time.

-So you have a choice, Lion or Water.

-Lion Wall, please.

OK, you've got two and a half minutes to solve

the Lion Wall, starting now.

OK, so, things you blow with gases.

-Things that are red.

-Must be red.

What else have we got here? We've got Man, Knit, Yoke, Chinese.

You blow a trumpet, you blow a gasket,

you blow a fuse and you blow...

OK, so let's slow down a moment.

And what else do you blow?

-Trumpet, Gasket.

-You blow a raspberry and you blow a fuse.

-Yes.

Is a connect something you can...?

That's the tie... Oh, these are knots.

A yoke, Chinese knot...

Bind and Connect.

No, Knit. Bind, Yoke, Knit and Connect.

Three strikes, now.

So these are red. Titian red, Ruby red, Pillar box red, Blood red.

-What the explanation was...?

-Chinese, Manic, Sheffield.

-Wednesday. Preachers.

-Manic Street...

Manic Monday.

-Sheffield Wednesday.

-Sheffield Wednesday.

-Man Friday.

Chinese...day.

Chinese something.

-Ruby Tuesday.

-Ruby Tuesday.

-What was it? Manic and Man Friday.

-Man Friday, yeah.

That's it. You've solved the Wall. Very well done.

So that's four points immediately for the groups.

What about the connections? Trumpet, Fuse, Raspberry, Gasket.

-You blow these.

-Things you can blow, simple as that.

And the green group starting Yoke?

These are things you tie together. Verbs for tying.

Synonyms for unite or tie. That's right.

And the pink or purple group starting Man?

These are attached to days of the week, so Man Friday,

Manic Monday, Ruby Tuesday, Sheffield Wednesday.

That's absolutely right.

And what about the turquoise group? Chinese, Titian, Blood, Pillar box.

They are all reds.

They are all types of red, so that is another four points for

the connections plus the bonus for getting it all right,

the maximum of ten.

Let's bring in the Scunthorpe Scholars now, give them

a new Connecting Wall, and see what they can do about solving it.

Welcome to the Wall. Wall-come, I might say.

It's the Water Wall you're getting, cos the Lion's been taken.

You have two and a half minutes to solve it,

starting now.

There's Bugsy Malone, Amaryllis is a flower. Cadbury Dairy Milk.

Murano, is that a type of glass?

Decay, that's two words. M. Decay. MTNV.

KN.

Right, so what else?

-S.

-Without Essex.

Right, starts without Essex.

Right, oh, that's right.

Tinky Winky, that's children's...

Barney the Dinosaur's also children's...

Bugsy Malone.

Bugsy's a film.

Diner's a film.

Avalon, is that a film? Green with envy?

I'm just going to have a go at that. What can be Barney the Dinosaur?

Is that green? What colour is Tinky Winky?

Right. Murano is a type of glass.

Tinky Winky.

Barney could easily be purple.

I think I did that before thinking they were... Oh, no, I didn't.

Purple.

Amethyst, I think that's purple, so which one did I do?

I did it without Amethyst.

I've done it without Aubergine. That's right.

Three strikes, now.

Right so I tried it with... Did I try it with films

that I thought? I think I did. Having said that, Murano, I think that's glass.

Isle, that's an isle, that's an isle.

-You just got to try one.

-Yeah, got to try once it's lit.

Aubergine. Anything to do with the words that they're going to split up at all?

I can't see anything.

Eva, Mary,

see any other girls' names?

Ten seconds.

Diner, Envy. I've done two. And I'm just going to...

That's it. You've had your three goes.

The Wall has frozen, but you found two groups.

I'll give you points if you can tell me the connections.

What about that first blue group starting Cayenne?

When you say the words, it sounds like the combination of two letters.

That's absolutely right, they sound like two letters.

And the green group starting Barney the Dinosaur.

Right, we think these are all various shades of purple mauve.

That's right. It's the green group but they are all purple.

And you can still get points for the connections in the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the Wall.

There you go, that's how it should have looked.

Murano, Amaryllis, Maze, Aubergine.

They are all varieties of glassware.

They're not. They're all restaurants associated with Gordon Ramsay.

Past and present restaurants of the chef Gordon Ramsay.

And the last turquoise group, Diner, Bugsy, Avalon, Envy.

They're all films?

I need something more specific than that.

-By the same director.

-I'm afraid not.

Because so many things are films,

we never accept, "They're all films."

And the same director is a very good guess, but we need the person

and it is the director Barry Levinson.

He directed all of those films, but you found two groups

and two connections.

That's a total of four points.

Let's have a look at the scores going into the Final Round.

The Scunthorpe Scholars have 11 points.

The Beekeepers have 16.

On we go to the Missing Vowels round.

We've taken the vowels out of well-known names,

phrases and sayings, squidged up the consonants.

I want to know what are the disguised clues.

Fingers on buzzers, please, teams.

The first group are all ways of asking someone to repeat something.

-Beekepers?

-Beg your pardon.

-Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-Excuse me.

-That's right.

-Beekeepers.

-Come again?

-Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-Say what?

-Yes, it is.

Next category. Things that are imagined in the song Imagine.

-Scholars.

-No countries.

-Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-No heaven.

-Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-All the people living life in peace.

-Well done.

-Scholars.

-No possessions.

-Correct. Next category.

Things you might find in a cage.

-Beekeepers.

-Guinea pig.

-Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-Battery hen.

-Yes, it is.

-Beekeepers.

-Hannibal Lecter.

-Yeah.

Weirdly, this one is thoracic cavity.

New category. A fictional professor and his subject.

-Beekeepers.

-Henry Higgins and...

Too long, I'm afraid. Scunthorpe Scholars, do you know?

Henry Higgins and phonetics.

I will give you the point for Henry Higgins and phonetics,

but the bell has gone for the end of the quiz.

And I can tell you that the winners and through to the next round

with 24 points are the Beekeepers.

Very well done to you.

And finishing an honourable second with 14 points,

it's the Scunthorpe Scholars.

Scholars, it's been absolutely lovely to meet you.

Thank you for playing.

I'm afraid, I must tell you that you are not in our highest scoring

second-place finishers but it's been fantastic to meet you at the quiz.

-And you've been a really fun team. Thank you very much for playing.

-Thank you.

You, we will see again.

Thank you very much for watching and please join me next week

when we will be launching our new Only Connect fragrance -

Bewilderment.

Pour femme.

Goodbye.