Beekeepers v Cosmopolitans Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect,

where I've asked everyone to speak quietly

because I've got a bit of a headache.

Last night someone plied me with triple vodka after triple vodka.

I'm hazy as to who it was,

but I think it was me.

So turn the volume up because voices are going to be hushed.

Whispering the answers to my questions tonight are,

on my right,

Ian Wallace, a retired accountant and bee inspector,

who hand-paints 120 Christmas cards every year to distribute

to friends and family.

Josh Spero, a journalist who inadvertently modelled

for a portrait while sitting down for a rest at a villa in Greece.

And their captain, Mark Wallace,

an archaeology graduate with an interest in metal detecting,

who recently holidayed in a minefield in Nagorno-Karabakh.

United by their buzzing,

they are the Beekeepers.

So, Mark, you beat the Scunthorpe Scholars in your first game

and then you beat the Policy Wonks.

That's how you came to the third round.

You confident of another win tonight?

Well, we'll have to see how it goes,

but all I'm saying is we're fans of lobster thermidor.

Let's see what you mean by meeting this evening's opponents on my left.

Annette Fenner,

a medical journal editor who has bathed atop a Turkish mountain.

Emily Watnick,

a native New Yorker

whose recent visits to three active volcanoes

have all proved disappointing.

And their captain, Amy Godel, an expert macaroon baker who,

despite many challenges and against all odds,

successfully delivered a mobile dentist to the Channel Islands.

United by a love of liquor,

they are the Cosmopolitans.

Now, on your journey here you beat the Taverners and then the Tubas.

What do you think of tonight's opposition?

Well, I don't want to be a buzz kill...

A lot of confidence talk from both sides.

Animal lovers will be writing in in their droves.

Let's get on with the quiz to find out who goes straight through

to Round Four and who has to play another match to get there.

Nobody goes home at this stage.

You won the toss over there,

but you decided to put your opponent in first.

So, Cosmopolitans, please choose a hieroglyph.

Horned Viper, please.

The Viper will be the first question of the game

and it is the music question.

-Oh, no.

-What do these

clues have in common?

Here's the first.

# The moon that lingered

# Over London town... #

THEY CONFER

-Shall we go next?

-Yes, next.

-Next.

# The French are glad to

# Die for love

# They delight in fighting... #

This is Shirley Bassey, isn't it?

-Yes.

-So that was Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square.

This is Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend or something.

Um, next.

# Lost and lonely on the island sand... #

-Erm...

-# When a lovely stranger says... #

THEY CONFER

-Two seconds.

-Next.

-Oh, I'm afraid

the clock's run down.

So, Beekeepers, I'm going to give

you a little blast of the last clue

for a possible bonus point.

# From the day

# We arrive on the planet... #

We think these are all

geometric shapes.

They are geometric shapes.

-What have we heard?

-Berkeley Square?

A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square.

-Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend.

-Yep.

Didn't quite hear the third one. The final one is...

-The Bermuda Triangle.

-Of course!

# The Bermuda Triangle... #

Lovely. And the last one?

-Circle Of Life.

-That's absolutely right.

All containing geometric shapes.

Well done for a bonus point.

And you may choose your own question.

May we please have the Twisted Flax?

The Twisted Flax? OK.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

HE WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Yeah, yeah, so old capital...

All right. Go for it?

We think these are former capitals

followed by the new capital.

I'm afraid despite the brave

early intervention

that is not the right answer.

It does not in fact apply

even to the first clue.

So I'm going to show all four to

the Cosmopolitans, and now it's your

chance for a possible bonus point.

These are the biggest cities.

The first ones are the biggest

cities in the country

and they are larger than the capitals.

That's what it is.

They are cities that are bigger than

the capitals of their native

countries. Yes, Casablanca was never

the capital of Morocco,

it doesn't apply to Sao Paulo

either, which you hadn't seen.

Good guess, but that

is the right answer.

Bigger than their capital

cities by area and population.

And now your turn to choose a question.

-Lion?

-Lion.

-Lion.

OK, what is the connection

between these Lion clues?

Here's the first.

-Super Bowl...

-Sunday...

-Yeah.

-Next.

-Next.

THEY CONFER

-Oh, well, in that case, shall we go for it?

-Yeah.

Things that happen on Sunday.

This is a more successful

early buzz.

You will get three points

for coming in after two clues.

Things that happen on a Sunday.

The clues you hadn't seen yet,

it doesn't always apply.

So, the Oscars,

it moved to Sundays in 1999.

Do you stay up for those?

Stay up and watch the Oscars?

-No.

-Not for many years...

-No...

Any of you? Really?!

I can't even stay awake through

the films any more, let alone...

LAUGHTER

Oh, I love the Oscars.

My happiest Oscar memory is of

Billy Crystal coming out

and saying, "Wonderful to see so

"many new faces.

"Same people,

"just a lot of new faces."

I love the Oscars. And the UK

singles chart rundown,

that isn't on a Sunday any more,

it actually moved to Fridays

because the data,

it's all computerised stuff now, that comes out on Fridays,

but it was Sundays until July, 2015.

So, good early buzzing.

Well done. Back to you, Beekeepers, for a choice.

-Water, please.

-Water.

OK. What is the connection

between these clues?

Here's the first.

Australian wine company.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

-Hardy.

-Hardy...

-Hardy.

I need to hear something else.

-Thomas Hardy.

-Thomas Hardy.

They are all Thomas Hardys.

I mean, this is amazing. We may turn

this into a two-clue game.

Talk me through what we're looking at.

Obviously they are all Thomas Hardys.

As a member of the Collingwood Society,

the man who really won Trafalgar,

if I failed to get a Nelson's flag

cap right I'd be drummed out.

OK! That's right. "Kiss me, Hardy."

He was referring to

Thomas Masterman Hardy,

the flag captain.

Thomas Hardy, the author

of The Trumpet-Major, and...

Tom Hardy, Bane from, um, Batman.

That's right. Bane is

in The Dark Knight Rises.

Tom Hardy, the actor, he's known as.

He has been credited as Thomas Hardy

in some films, although I think his

real name is Edward. Do you know...?

Here's a nice piece of trivia,

who did the actor Tom Hardy play

in the Guy Ritchie film RocknRolla?

Ooh.

There's additional points on this.

THEY LAUGH

He played the gay hoodlum,

Handsome Bob.

One of my favourite of his roles.

And Thomas Hardy & Sons, the

Australian wine manufacturers.

All Thomas Hardys.

Very well done.

My goodness. We'll be finishing the show early.

We can all go for a drink. You'd like that, Cosmopolitans, I think.

-Yes, yes.

-What will you have?

-Two Reeds, please.

-I meant at the bar later.

LAUGHTER But I suppose we'd better do this first.

Two Reeds? OK. These are going to be picture clues.

Something connects them, what is it?

First one coming in...now.

-What on earth is that?

-Flour.

-Flour and water.

Yes. Next.

Four butters?

-To make a cake?

-A pound cake?

-Next.

-Next.

Things that you need to make a Victoria sponge cake.

The ingredients for a Victoria sponge?

Would be one acceptable answer.

Before the last clue comes up,

what do you think will be in it?

-Two eggs.

-Eggs.

Two eggs? Exactly so.

I'd never heard of this.

A 4-4-4-2 apparently is a classic

sponge cake recipe.

As well as being a football

formation for a very big team.

THEY LAUGH

Would you have known

-that over there?

-Yes.

I realised as soon as the butter came up

-it was a Victoria sponge.

-Big fans of cake.

I'm quite enjoying the way

it's men V women.

A bit like Christmas Day when

you separate for charades teams,

isn't it? So I'm glad you could get

the cake recipe as well.

No-one screaming recriminations yet.

No, give it time.

I never knew this. I just thought

you chuck in some flour, some eggs,

a shot of vodka.

And how are your cakes?

Well, you know. A bit liquidy...

It's always a Victoria sponge.

It's always a Victoria sponge,

exactly.

Very good point. Well spotted.

Beekeepers, the last question of the round.

Eye of Horus. That will be yours.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Particular...? Shall we have another?

Next, please.

Erm... I think we should go for...

Next, please.

Good Winds...

Three seconds.

-Ships.

-It would be very good

names for ships,

but I'm afraid they are not famous

enough, if they exist,

to be the answer here. So,

Cosmopolitans, a bonus chance.

They are English translations

of South American capital cities.

It is another

capital cities question.

That's exactly what they are.

What are the cities in Spanish?

Santiago, Asuncion,

La Paz and Buenos Aires.

That is right. The capitals

of Chile, Paraguay,

Bolivia and Argentina.

Well translated.

That means, after some excellent,

speedy quizzing,

at the end of Round One,

the Beekeepers have four points,

the Cosmopolitans have seven.

On to Round Two, the sequences round.

And you'll be going first again, Cosmopolitans,

so please choose a hieroglyph.

Horned Viper, please.

OK. What would come fourth

in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

-Eight.

-OK, eight.

-Eight. I think we need...

-Yeah, next.

-Nine...

-Things that happened on particular dates?

-In September.

-In... Mm.

Yes. I think, I think,

um, yeah, I think 9/11 is the answer.

OK. OK.

Um, the attack on the Twin Towers.

Is an acceptable answer.

Very well done.

What is this sequence?

They're the days in September,

in presumably 2001.

Um... Is it 2001?

2001, yes.

It's poignantly jolly, isn't it?

8th September is just the US Open

final the Williams sisters played.

And then it all starts

to go a bit horrible.

We're leading up to

the 11th of September, 2001,

and the most notable

thing that happened that day

was the attacks on

the World Trade Centre. Well done.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

Ooh, it's the music sequence. So you'll be hearing the clues.

I still want to know what comes fourth.

Time starts now.

# Kiss me

# K-k-kiss me

# Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison... #

Do you know this?

Next, please.

# Where are those happy days?

# They seem so hard to find...#

-ABBA.

-Yes...

# I tried to wait for you

# But you have closed your mind... #

-Next one.

-Next, please.

MUSIC: YMCA by The Village People

Oh, they're all acronyms.

THEY CONFER

# Young man...

# There's no need to feel down

# I say young man... #

Two seconds.

ABC.

Not the right answer.

Cosmopolitans, do you want to have

a go for a bonus point?

Well, it is letters,

just different letters.

We don't know what the titles

of the songs are.

Sequences of letters.

But we don't know which one the next one is.

Right. I certainly can't take that.

Now, why do you say ABC?

For exactly the same reason!

We can see these were...

Kind of acronyms of song titles,

but we couldn't quite spot the sequence.

Well, the problem is I need

something that is five letters.

The first one was ET,

Katy Perry featuring Kanye West.

SOS, ABBA, YMCA, The Village People.

I need something with a sequence

of five letters, for example?

-Such as...

-Such as?

D-I-S-C-O.

That's the one we all know.

-You all know that one?

-Yeah.

Good because the viewers might not

remember what I mean, so let's

remind them with a rousing blast.

One, two, three, four.

ALL: # D-I-S-C-O.

# D-I-S-C-O. #

She is D.

I.

No, she is D something...

Desirable. Why is it when I point at

people they never shout "desirable"?

You'd think it was simple,

simply never happens, but a

beautiful rendition nonetheless.

Although I'm afraid I can't give any points.

Cosmopolitans, please choose another question.

-Lion.

-Lion.

OK. What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

It's a dipthong....

No idea. And they're colours, as well.

-Yeah, they are.

-Er... Next.

Ooh.

-Oh, it's Google.

-Google.

-OK, so it's a green L.

-L.

-L.

That's right.

It is a green lower case L.

And why? What's the logic

of the sequence?

They're the letters of the Google logo in their normal colourings

by order of when they appear? When the first one appears?

That's right.

Of when the first colour appears.

So there are two Gs in Google,

the first one at the beginning of it, and they're blue.

Then one of the Os and an E is red,

then a yellow O and the L,

the last colour to appear, is green.

Well done. Beekeepers,

what would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-The Eye of Horus.

OK. I want to know what will come fourth in this sequence.

Here's the first.

Fourth...

-Another one?

-Next, please.

THEY CONFER

They're not, erm, not, erm, election where the...?

-Um...

-Shall we go for another?

-Go for another one.

-Next, please.

Um, so it could be... West Virginia?

Um, was it later...?

Three seconds.

First, Louisiana.

Not the right answer.

So a bonus chance for you,

Cosmopolitans.

OK. Well, first...

-Georgia?

-Georgia?

That's not it either.

Why do you say Louisiana?

We took a bit of a punt

and thought it might be

the locations of the poorest

counties in the US.

Right. No, that's not the sequence.

What were you thinking over there?

That it was a state.

-LAUGHTER

-Maybe the lowest-lying state.

No, I'll tell you what it is.

This is in reverse order,

henceforth third,

second, secessionist states.

So we want to know the first state

to secede from the Union,

South Carolina.

You just had to ask yourselves,

"Which one is the most racist?"

It is South Carolina.

Do you know what happened there?

South Carolina, it was so devoted to

slavery that when a Republican

senator gave a speech

denouncing slavery,

a Democrat congressman

beat him unconscious with a cane

and it took him three years

to recover.

That's how determined they were

not to have a bad word

spoken of slavery.

First state to secede from the Union, South Carolina.

So, no bonus points,

but Cosmopolitans, you may choose a question.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax. OK.

These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

-Bob Marley. Erm...

-Next.

Christmas, 1843.

Oh, it's the ghosts, isn't it?

-Christmas Carol.

-OK.

So Christmas yet to come.

-No. So Marley...

-Yes.

-..past, present, future.

-Yes.

So December 25th, 2027,

-or something?

-Yes.

December the 25th, 2027?

That's right, we went with 2024,

but I will accept 2027.

A future Christmas.

-What is the sequence?

-They're the ghosts in A Christmas Carol.

That's right. Marley, Jacob Marley was the first ghostly visitor,

represented here by the singer, Bob Marley.

And Christmas past, why 1843?

Maybe that's when it was written?

That's the year of publication

of A Christmas Carol,

the Dickens story

in which the ghosts appear.

Beekeepers, one question remains,

Water. What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

-These are the drinks...

-INDISTINCT

Shall we do...? One more?

Er, next, please.

THEY CONFER

Restores you to your normal size.

I'm afraid that is not the answer.

Although why?

If you can persuade me

that is a valid sequence...

So...

Assuming these are the drinks

consumed unwisely

by Alice on the orders of the labels

attached to their bottles,

these are the things

that happened to her

when she consumes them, in order.

I can't take it, and I'm going to

explain why in a minute.

I'll show the third in

the sequence to the Cosmopolitans

for a possible bonus point.

Makes your neck very long.

Makes you very small?

Cos there is a "drink me" that makes you small, isn't there?

Makes you very small.

Makes you very small

is the right answer.

Now, this is very interesting.

The person that wrote this question

was thinking of the Roald Dahl story

George's Marvellous Medicine.

And they are medicines number one,

two, three and four.

As it happens, I'm a particular fan

of the Alice stories and I know

exactly what you mean. It's in The Pool Of Tears, chapter two.

She has the "eat me" cake.

-Yes.

-And it does make her very tall.

The legs being long and the necks

being long, it's part of being tall,

isn't it? That's all the one thing,

really, at clue one.

And then, actually, the cake,

that's all it does is make her tall,

then it's finished.

What makes her small

is the bottle of drink.

It's a whole different thing.

-Yes.

-Yes. But that's absolutely it.

She eats the cake and she says,

"I feel I'm opening out like the

"largest telescope there ever was."

I'm slightly obsessed

with that story.

So I can see exactly why you'd think

of it but it doesn't quite work.

Nevertheless, you have found your

way over there to the right answer

while thinking of

a whole different story.

-For the wrong reason.

-Very well done.

That means, at the end of Round Two,

the Beekeepers have four points,

Cosmopolitans have a rather amazing 16.

Time now for the Connecting Wall.

It'll be the Beekeepers to go first this time.

You chose to go second initially, so you're in first now.

Would you like Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

-Lion, OK.

Two and a half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting now.

OK. So Pippin and Merry are both, erm, they're hobbits.

Hobbits. So...

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

What follows show off?

Show of force, show of strength.

-Gaffer tape, cassette tape.

-Yes. And duct tape.

-Duct tape.

-And...

-Ticker tape.

Ticker tape.

-So we've got ticker tape and...

-Duct tape.

-Duct tape,

Gaffer tape and cassette tape.

No.

-Is there...?

-Any other tape?

OK, we'll leave this one.

OK, so he's going there. Is he? Yeah.

And Gala is...

What else have we got? Healing hands?

Show of hands?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-OK, so we've got healing hands, show of hands.

-Greg Hands.

-And join hands.

-And join hands.

HE LAUGHS Three strikes and you're out now.

So Gaffer, Ticker, Duct, Cassette.

We've tried that. Which other one of those might be a tape?

-Twill tape?

-twill tape, merry tape, pippin tape, Sam tape.

So if you've got...

That would mean the others would be Pippin, Merry, Sam...

Pippin, Merry, Sam and Gaffer.

Yeah.

You've solved the wall.

Very impressive. So that's four point immediately for the groups.

Let's have a look at the connections.

Jazz, Gala, Honeygold, Jonathan.

-Apples.

-They are all apples.

Do you know that as a beekeeper?

No, I know it as an apple enthusiast.

Were you familiar with the Jonathan apple?

-Yes.

-What does it taste like?

-It's not one of my favourites.

It's a bit lightweight, a bit fruity, bit of white flesh.

Is apples not a thing to grow in the garden to attract bees?

Oh, lovely. Good early pollen and nectar

and something to show at the end of it.

But you've got to make sure that you crop them early, thin them,

to stop the wasps getting, cos the wasps will attack the bees.

I feel a spin-off show coming on.

In my experience, Jonathans never taste as good.

Let's move on to the next group.

Healing, Join, Greg, Show of.

These are all followed by the word "hands".

Healing hands, join hands, Greg...

-Who's Greg Hands?

-Conservative MP, Greg Hands.

MP for Chelsea and Fulham. And show of hands.

And what about this next pink or purple group?

Pippin, Merry, Gaffer, Sam.

These are hobbits.

They are, like so many of our visitors here, significant hobbits.

That's right. Pippin, not an apple, that was a red herring.

And the last group. Twill, Duct, Ticker, Cassette.

-Tape.

-They're all types of tape.

Four more points for the connections

and I'll give you the bonus

of two. That is a maximum of ten points. Very well done.

Let's bring in the Cosmopolitans and give them a healthy

glass of water. It's not that healthy.

It's the Water wall.

You have two and a half minutes to solve it.

Starting now.

-Right, so...

-So the Picasso Museum, the Louvre, the art museum.

The D'Orsay.

OK, try that.

D'Orsay, Picasso, Louvre.

-Marmottan, Is that perhaps...?

-Maybe?

Agnes B, Jessie J.

Jay Z.

-Malcolm X.

-Yes.

-Oh! Wow.

-Oh, good.

-OK.

-So there must be something where it's a word.

Yes.

Window, rose window, bay window.

Shop window. Louvre Window.

Yes, that could work.

Three lives now.

It's got to be museums, hasn't it?

Carnavalet, D'Orsay, Marmottan.

So, Sleep, Power, Street, Hill.

-What could that be?

-Stations?

Big Sleep?

Easy Street.

So what could it be?

Hill.

-Street.

-Can you take any other words out?

Are we sure we've got the museums, though? That's the question.

Well, we don't know but it's so likely, isn't it?

But if we try it and it's right, we're resolved.

What about films?

Sleep.

Identify the museums.

We've got a little while.

So, Street...

Yeah, but these are all, I think, French, aren't they?

Picasso museum is not in Paris. It's in Barcelona.

I think we should just go for it.

That's it, you solved the wall.

Well done. And what about the connections?

Tell me about the first blue group, starting J.

They have surnames that are just letters.

That is absolutely right. That is the American rapper Jay Z, Malcom X.

Jessie J and Agnes B.

They all have initials as surnames.

And what about the green group, starting Bay?

-Windows?

-Bay window, rose window shop window, louvre window.

The next group, starting Picasso.

Paris museums.

They are museums in Paris. Absolutely right.

And the last turquoise group, Power, Hill, Sleep, Street.

Station?

It's walking. THEY GROAN

Power walking, hill walking, sleepwalking, street walking.

-It was the street that threw us off.

-I should hope so.

But you do get four points for the groups that you found

and three for the connections, it's a total of seven.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Beekeepers have 14 points, the Cosmopolitans have 23.

So it's on to Round Four - the missing vowels round.

We have taken the vowels

out of well-known names, phrases and sayings.

Re-space the consonants and I want the team to tell me

what the disguised clues are.

So fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all road signs.

-Beekeepers.

-Keep left.

Correct.

Too used to ignoring this one.

It's reduce speed now.

Beekeepers.

Please drive carefully through our village.

Well done. Next clue.

-Beekeepers.

-No way.

I'm afraid that is not a road sign. Cosmopolitans, do you know?

-One-way.

-That's the road sign. Next category...

-Beekeepers.

-A few cards short of a deck.

That's right.

Beekeepers.

-Clowns short of a circus.

-Correct.

Cosmopolitans.

Bricks short of a...

No, too long, I'm afraid. Beekeepers, do you know?

-Bricks short of a load.

-Correct.

Cosmopolitans.

Sandwiches short of a picnic.

That's right. Next category.

Beekeepers.

-Japan...

-No, that's too long.

-Cosmopolitans.

-Japanama.

-Well done.

-Cosmopolitans. ALL:

-Vietnamibia.

Correct.

-Beekeepers.

-Uzbekistanzania.

Well done.

-Beekeepers.

-Cyprussia.

You've got the hang of it. But it's a new category.

Well, hallelujah, it's

the end of the quiz.

You can't tell me the last

clue but that's what it was.

At the end of the quiz

I can reveal that the winners,

and straight through to

the next round, with 26 points,

are the Cosmopolitans.

Second with 19 points,

it's the Beekeepers.

So, well done Cosmos.

Beekeepers, you're not going home, you will get to play again.

You've got another attempt to make it through to the quarterfinals.

We'll be seeing you later in the series.

Well done. Thank you for watching,

and please join me next time when,

in an attempt to make

the thinking even more lateral,

I'll be asking the teams

to identify what most doesn't

connect four random things.

Goodbye.