Beekeepers v Korfballers Only Connect

Good evening, on this landmark day in the history of general knowledge.

I don't know if you have heard,

but a computer has finally beaten a team of human quizzers.

Admittedly, the tie-break question was

"Please demonstrate an error 404",

but still, exciting times.

Unfortunately, I'm disappointed

to report that we have flesh-and-blood quizzers tonight.

And they are...

On my right, Ian Wallace,

a bee inspector who makes at least 150 pounds of jam and honey

every year while standing on one leg.

Josh Spero, a journalist who owns

a small but thoughtful art collection

and co-curated an exhibition of cloth bags called Tote Modern.

And their captain, Mark Wallace,

a political journalist who once did an interview on civil service reform

in his underpants.

All fans of a sting in the tail, they are the Beekeepers.

Now, on your journey so far, you've lost to the Cosmopolitans,

then you beat the Oscar Men.

What bit of your journey have you least enjoyed?

Getting here to discover that the glamour of television is a lie

and it's only water, not gin, in the glasses.

In your glasses!

THEY LAUGH

Speaking of glamour, you are meeting tonight, on my left...

Taissa Csaky,

who enjoyed a fortnight in the Carpathian Mountains in Poland,

the majority of which was spent collecting wolf dung.

Niall Sheekey, a librarian who plays squash

and learned to whistle at the age of 24.

And their captain, Michael Jelley,

a maths graduate and amateur musician

who, as a student, was appointed College Poet Laureate.

United by their love of the Dutch sport korfball,

they are the Korfballers.

Now, Michael, you've said so far

that you'd do literally anything to win.

What have you done?

We tried knowing things and we tried bribery,

but we settled on systematic blood doping.

Excellent stuff.

I'm looking forward to the outcome.

Tonight, we are playing for a place in the semifinals.

Beekeepers, you won the toss,

you will be going first.

Please choose a hieroglyph.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

What is the connection

between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Oh! The names of the flowers.

So, the rose...

-We don't need to know it.

-Oh, of course.

BELL

These are the Latin names of the national flowers

of the Home Nations of the United Kingdom,

with the colour associated with them.

That's absolutely right.

What are the flowers?

-So we've got...

-Trifolium is...

Trifolium is the clover.

-Yes...

-Um...

Shamrock, I think,

would be more traditional.

Scotland is the thistle.

The daffodil for Wales,

Narcissus pseudonarcissus,

and Rosa, a bit of a clue, rose.

Exactly, Tudor rose for England.

Well done, they're home country national flowers.

Korfballers, what would you like?

We'll have the Two Reeds, please.

OK, what is the connection

between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Called after Alexander the Great, so could be cities

named after Alexander the Great, but let's go for one more.

Next, please.

Yeah. I think it's right.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Named after Alexander...

Yeah.

BELL

My learned colleague thinks

that these are all cities

named after Alexander the Great.

This could be a short evening.

They are all named after Alexander the Great.

You didn't need to see

Iskandariya in Iraq,

or Alexandria in Egypt.

Named after Alexander the Great. Well done.

Back to you, Beekeepers, for a choice.

Twisted Flax, please.

OK. What connects these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY WHISPER

BELL

These are artificial structures

in the sea.

My goodness, very well done.

That is another three-pointer after two clues.

Artificial features. The next one isn't technically in the sea

but you hadn't seen that one yet.

All man-made geographical features.

Where are they?

Palm Jumeirah is in Dubai

and looks like a giant palm tree.

-Kielder Water is...

-Northumberland.

..Northumberland,

where they flooded a valley

and the villages underneath it.

Silbury Hill is in...uh...

The ancient kingdom of Wessex.

Can't remember which county it's in.

It's Wiltshire, near Avebury.

Ancient fake chalk mound.

And Boscombe Reef is in Dorset.

All artificial features. Well done.

Korfballers, what would you like?

We'll have the Horned Viper, please.

OK.

These are going to be picture clues.

Something connects them.

Here's the first.

-Swiss cheese.

-Next, please.

An eye...

Something to do with eyes?

Are they called eyes in the cheese?

Maybe they're called eyes in Switzerland.

-I don't know.

-Yeah. Next, please.

Eye of the storm.

BELL

Pictures of non-literal eyes.

They are all eyes.

You didn't need to see the last one,

the eye of a needle.

I didn't know the holes

in Swiss cheese were called eyes.

I think I was told it once,

but there were other Swiss products

being served to me and I forgot.

That sounds filthy

but they're all eyes,

that of some cheese, a potato, a storm and a needle - well done.

Back to you, Beekeepers, for a choice.

-Water, please.

-OK.

CHIMING

The music question.

That'll slow everyone down!

What is the connection between the clues you're going to hear?

First one coming in now.

# When you're alone and life is making you lonely

-# You can always go... #

-Next, please.

-# Babe

-Babe

# I'm here again

# I'm here again

# I told you I'm here again

# Babe

# Where have you been?

-# Where have you... ? #

-Next, please.

# They've got cars big as bars They've got rivers of gold

# But the wind goes right through you

# It's no place for the old

# When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas eve

# You promised me Broadway was waiting for me

-# You were handsome

-You were pretty... #

Next, please.

# Last Christmas, I gave you my heart... #

Two seconds. BELL

Christmas number ones.

Not the answer, I'm afraid,

though it's a good guess.

Korfballers, want to have a go for a bonus point?

Christmas number twos?

They were number two at Christmas!

What did we hear? I'll be impressed

if you can also tell me what was number one at the same time.

Oh, heck - Last Christmas by Wham!

Which was Band Aid,

Do They Know It's Christmas,

That was the year that Band Aid were at number one.

We had Petula Clark, Downtown,

presumably something by The Beatles, cos all of the '60s was.

It was 1964, the number one

was The Beatles, I Feel Fine.

We had Take That and Babe.

That would have been '92 -

Mr Blobby maybe?

1992 was Mr Blobby,

Mr Blobby, yeah, that classic.

The third was...

Fairytale Of New York.

1987.

Oh...Shakin' Stevens.

I don't think he was getting

number ones as late as 1987,

it was Pet Shop Boys, Always On My Mind.

-So close.

-So close.

They were Christmas number twos.

That sounds filthy as well.

Christmas number twos,

we are all thinking

of a particular uncle, aren't we?

Well done, you get the bonus point,

and the last question of the round, the Eye of Horus.

What is the connection here?

The first clue is coming in now.

-Do we know what it is?

-No.

OK, lovely. Next, please.

Children's stories about Sam Pig?

Might be about pigs. Let's get another one.

Let's get another one, please. Next.

Oh... Also a children's story.

About a boy who flew on geese. I don't know...

Did they turn into...?

We'll go for another one. Next, please.

Rabbits. Stories about rabbits.

BELL

We think, Taissa thinks, they might

have written stories about rabbits.

Are you saying that

cos you DON'T think so?

No, I think she's right.

I have faith.

They all created literary rabbits.

What are the works of fiction?

Watership Down. Richard Adams.

Alison Uttley.

Is it the Little Grey Rabbit?

Little Grey Rabbit, yes. Alison Uttley.

What about the first one, Andy Riley?

No idea about that one.

It's a cartoon series

called Bunny Suicides.

Oh, course it is!

-Yes, that one.

-Quote on the cover,

"Sadists of all ages will absolutely love it" -

like our Connecting Wall.

And Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin, what about him?

I don't know that one either.

It's a story called

The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep,

which was in the news because parents were saying

this was incredible at putting children to sleep.

My own books have the same effect,

but this one is a story in which

you yawn as you read it -

apparently it was a bit magical

and put children to sleep sort of straightaway,

so the newspapers covered it.

All creators of fictional rabbits.

Well done. That means,

at the end of round one,

the Beekeepers have six points, the Korfballers have seven.

Sequences round, now, and Beekeepers,

you will be going first again,

so please choose a new hieroglyph.

The Horned Viper, please.

What would come fourth

in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Three seconds... BELL

Is it AAAA, where the first three A's are grey, one in 41?

It is not.

Korfballers, you have the chance

of a bonus point.

Um...AAAA: 1 in 41.

Unfortunately for you, that is

the answer your opponents just gave.

So if I said, "That's right",

it'd look like blatant favouritism.

What do you think the sequence is?

Chances of drawing an ace.

It is to do with cards of the pack.

So it's the chances

of successive cards being aces,

so when you've got 52 cards,

the chance the top card is an ace

is one in 13, once that's gone,

you've got 51 cards so if it's another ace,

there's three aces left,

so it's three out of 51,

one in 17,

then two aces left out of 50 cards,

one in 25, so we wanted to hear

one in 49

because you've got 49 cards

and one ace left.

So, no bonus, Korfballers.

You may choose a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-OK.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

-Next!

-Next, please.

THEY CONFER

I don't know. Next, please.

Oh, erm...

It's a little word thing.

I think it's to do with letters.

I don't know.

I have no suggestions.

Three seconds.

BELL

U-m.

Why would that be?

It's sort of turning towards ytterbium but it isn't really,

and so I thought there might be

something clever in that.

Nice guess but, I'm afraid,

not the right answer - Beekeepers,

want to have a go for a bonus point?

Is it Pb?

And why would that be?

That would be lead and this would be the atomic decay

of some kind of radioactive molecule.

I'm not a chemist but I'm prepared

to hazard that there is not

an exact sequence in that.

Korfballers, you have been unlucky again, as you were with the cards,

because the answer is ytterbium.

-It's represented by...

-Yt.

-Yb.

-Yb.

Yes, why is it ytterbium?

Did you come up with that at random?

I thought... No, I did, yes. Random.

That is an amazing coincidence.

-Sort of.

-The set is this.

There are elements named after

the Swedish village of Ytterby.

It was a place of fascination

to scientists because

so many new elements were

discovered there and these are yttrium, terbium,

erbium and ytterbium,

so we are going up in atomic number.

Elements named after Ytterby.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. OK.

What would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

-Next.

-Next, please.

THEY CONFER

1st March 2014.

Next, please.

BELL

Erm, we...

Uh...

212016.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Korfballers, want to have

a go for a bonus point?

I think it's 162017.

It is 162017.

Yes, this was much easier

than you might at first think,

it's simply spelling out, in a row,

2012, 2013, 2014, 2015,

2016, 2017,

is what I want to hear,

just those years, as you suspected,

but that is the end of it.

So you get a bonus and a question. Which would you like?

I would like the Water,

to mix it up a bit, please.

OK, these are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

The pack? What do you call it?

-Yeah.

-Next, please.

-It's a horse.

-A horse.

Are they sizes of something?

A thumb can be quantity

of something - can it?

-A thumb...

-A thumb, and...

You can measure horses but...

What comes after horses?

BELL

-Herd.

-Would it be a herd?

It would not be a herd.

Beekeepers, your bonus chance now.

We believe it is

a picture of a knight with a K, a medieval knight.

Why would that be?

For want of a nail, a shoe was lost,

for want of a shoe, a horse was lost,

want of a horse, a knight was lost.

Want of a knight, a battle was lost.

That is absolutely right.

It is that nursery rhyme -

for want of a nail the shoe was lost,

for want of a shoe the horse was lost,

for want of a horse,

the knight was lost, or rider.

We've got a picture of

my dressing room rider,

you'll see there a champagne cocktail

and that's a still from the episode of Great Continental Railway Journeys

where Michael Portillo

was thrashed with birch twigs.

I'm sure everyone remembers -

stripped off, really thrashed.

There he is in his underpants,

really going at it.

That's on my dressing room rider,

the picture and the drink.

So any picture of a rider or knight

to complete that nursery rhyme.

Well done for the bonus point.

You may choose your question.

Twisted Flax, please.

OK, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Shall we go for another one? Just not sure.

Go for it.

Next, please.

Yeah...

Two seconds. BELL

West Ham... Sorry, first,

West Ham brackets Labour.

I see your thinking

but that is not the answer.

Korfballers, want to have a go for a bonus point?

Erm - first, Whitney Conservative.

That's not it either.

Oh, dear, Beekeepers,

now this is where you've been unlucky.

They are the largest Parliamentary majorities,

but the largest, first,

is Knowsley for Labour,

George Howarth there.

If only someone on your team

were a political journalist(!)

That's the sort of expertise you'd need.

Unluckily, you recognised the sequence

but you didn't give me

the correct fourth one.

Korfballers, what would you like?

I think the Eye of Horus.

I think that's just as well.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Could be a piece, or...

Yeah, let's just...

Next, please.

Codes? Uh...

I think we need another one.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

BELL

-Ultraviolet.

-For what reason?

We think, well, it has the initials UV,

a canonised person is a saint, ST,

QR is a phone-readable black square and, presumably,

O in musical composition is OP.

OP for opus.

That is absolutely right,

they can be abbreviated to OP,

QR and ST, we want something

that can be represented by UV,

like ultraviolet light - well done.

That means, at the end of round two,

the Beekeepers have seven points,

the Korfballers have ten.

Time now for the Connecting Wall

and it'll be the Korfballers to go first this time,

so please choose - Lion or Water?

We'll choose the Water, please.

OK, you have two-and-a-half minutes to solve the Water wall,

starting now.

Lots of different trees, pines.

-Cypress, maybe.

-Or fish?

Probably some kind of grey fish. Uh...

Ooh. Don't see many more.

-Hemlock, cypress...

-Belladonna.

Yes. Poison, hemlock. Mandrake.

-No.

-No. Cypress, maybe?

-No?

-I don't think it's poisonous.

Rue is also a kind of herb.

But I don't think it's poisonous.

Let's do the clicking. You keep thinking.

OK, lovely.

So fir, pine, cypress, spruce.

And Canada, maybe.

OK. Let's try.

OK. So, fir.

I think there might be a word one, here

because I don't see anything that Achilles really goes with.

Any types of hair style?

-LAUGHING:

-Only mullet.

Press, lock...

Mother goose, grey goose.

Canada goose.

-And spruce goose.

-Yes.

Three lives now.

Missile.

What's Sarkozy's first name?

-Nicolas.

-Nicolas.

Cypress.

Sark - Channel Islands?

-Mull.

-Yes.

-Achill.

-Yeah.

-Cypress?

-Or Barrac?

Barra, yeah.

You've solved the wall, very well done.

What about the connections?

Tell me about the first group - Mandrake, Rue, Aconite, Belladonna.

They're medicinal or poisonous plants.

-Poisonous, specifically.

-Poisonous.

Let's go with poisonous, before anyone at home thinks,

"I've got a bit of a headache,

"I think I'll gobble some belladonna and mandrake."

They're all poisons.

And the green group. Canada, Spruce, Grey, Mother.

Goose.

Can all be followed by goose.

And the pink or purple group,

whatever colour that is, it starts Sarkozy, what is it?

They start with islands.

British islands.

All start with islands. Well done.

And the last group, Pine, Hemlock, Cypress, Fir.

Evergreen trees.

That is a little bit too broad,

I need one specific thing they have in common.

They all have cones?

Greens with cones on them.

They all produce cones, they are conifers,

that is absolutely right.

So, that is all the connections

as well, plus the bonus, a maximum of ten points, well done.

Let's bring the Beekeepers in now

and give them the other Connecting Wall, the Lion wall,

and see what they can do with it.

Two-and-a-half minutes to solve this Lion wall, starting now.

So...um...

-Fletching is an arrow.

-Yes.

-Nock.

-Nock. Head? Arrow head?

Shaft.

OK. So what else?

Hever Castle. Leeds Castle.

Um...Walmer.

-Deal Castle?

-Deal Castle.

They're all...

Ports, aren't they?

-No, Hever isn't.

-They're all castles.

They're castles in Kent. Castles in Kent.

-Shall I carry on with castles?

-Yes, if you could.

Livers, as well.

Oh - are they things...? If you put an S in front...

Slivers, snit, snot.

That's a good idea - so if we could try...

Snob, slivers, snot and snit.

Or...

Snaves. Sdeal? Snight?

It's not that.

-Scooling?

-Depends on your education!

OK. Going on castles.

Um, OK.

Is it something about the rest of the word without the N?

Oh, K, knight again.

So night, nave, nob, nit or not.

It'll be one of these.

-Right...

-Three lives now.

Hever, Leeds and Deal are all castles in Kent.

So we have Hever, Leeds, Deal.

-Did we try Walmer?

-We tried Walmer before.

It could of course be something else.

So Nit Castle? Snug... Walmer Castle.

Cooling? Cooling Castle?

Cooling Tower...

Let's undo these. We need to.

Chicken livers.

Is there something inside?

Let's try again.

Ten seconds.

That's it, that's your third life, the wall has frozen

but you found two groups and I'll also give you points

for the connections.

Fletching, Nock, Shaft, Head.

All related to archery.

They are parts of an arrow, quite right.

And the green group, starting Nob?

Is all another word, if you add the letter K at the start.

That's right, not an S but a K,

to make another sort of knob, knave, knight, knot.

And you can still get points for the connections

in the groups you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

There we go. Deal, Livers, Nit, Snug tent.

Can't give you long.

If you don't see it, you just don't.

They're anagrams of metals.

Lead, silver, tin, tungsten.

And the last one,

Walmer, Cooling, Hever, Leeds.

-Castles.

-Can you be more specific?

-Kent.

Castles in Kent is the right answer.

So you found two groups and gave me three connections.

That's a total of five.

Let's have a look at the overall scores.

The Beekeepers have 12 points, the Korfballers have 20.

Now, in previous quarterfinals,

I've explained that in our new structure,

the winners go to the semifinals and the losers get another chance.

Apparently this is a new sort of quarterfinal,

where this doesn't apply,

and whoever comes second tonight is going home.

Don't even try and understand it!

Just relax and enjoy the quiz.

We are going to relax and enjoy Round Four,

the missing vowels round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group

all feature a seven dwarf and a deadly sin.

Korfballers?

Sneezy and Gluttony.

Correct.

Beekeepers?

Bashful and Anger.

Well done.

Korfballers?

Doc and...

Too long, I'm afraid. Beekeepers?

Doc and Covetousness.

That's right. Next clue.

Beekeepers.

-Sleepy and Sloth.

-Lovely.

Next category, words that can follow the word "hot".

Beekeepers?

Under the collar.

Korfballers?

To trot.

Beekeepers?

On the heels of.

Correct. Next clue.

Korfballers.

Cross bun.

Next category, a social media abbreviation and its meaning.

Beekeepers?

OMG and Oh My God.

Correct.

Beekeepers?

TMI and Too Much Information.

Correct.

Korfballers?

TLDR and Too Long, Didn't Read.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

There'll be no more clues because the bell has gone

for the end of the round and I can tell you that the winners,

with 23 points, and through to the semifinals,

are the Korfballers.

Very well done. And in a close second place,

with an excellent 19 points,

it's the Beekeepers.

I am very sorry to see you go home, Beekeepers,

you've been a very entertaining team,

thank you very much for coming along.

Many congratulations to you, Korfballers,

we'll be seeing you in the semifinals.

Thank you for watching, and next week

we'll be coming to you live from the UK's only crocodile zoo -

it's in Oxfordshire.

Why Oxfordshire? Why not Dundee?

I think you'll find that's the hardest question

I've asked tonight.

Goodbye.