Fire-Eaters v Eurovisionaries Only Connect

Every year at festival time, I go up to Scotland to visit Auld Reekie.

I do wish Grandad would move closer to where I live.

But I really enjoy the quirkiness

and the son et lumiere of the Edinburgh Fringe.

What can I tell you? I just love oddness and spectacles.

Let's meet the teams.

On my right, Andy Davis,

a civil servant with a degree in law,

who recently sculpted a nude and greatly enjoyed it.

Tony Moore, a software developer and maths graduate

who was the first member of the British public

to sit in the EU President's office.

And their captain, Jonathan Elliott,

a maths graduate who plays the bassoon,

the cello, the harmonica, the piano and the tin whistle.

United by a craving for curry,

they are the Fire-Eaters.

Welcome to Only Connect.

How have you been preparing for your opening heat?

We thought we could only live up to our name by going out for

a curry last night, so that's what we did.

Your spicy opponents tonight are, on my left, Ciara Kennedy,

a media graduate with a passion for 1980s Italian disco.

Aaron Boardley, who, as a schoolboy,

had his maths textbook defaced by Gene Simmons from Kiss.

And their captain, Paddy Duffy,

an author and former youth worker

who once invited an Irish cabinet minister to the cinema by accident.

United by a soft spot for song contests,

they are the Eurovisionaries.

How does your team celebrate the Eurovision Song Contest?

Do you do weird food?

We do weird food, we do weird dress as well, so, for instance,

I've been chosen to go as Luxembourg this year.

And I don't know how that's going to go, actually.

Because I don't have any white clothes.

If you get to the final, you will have to come as Luxembourg.

If we get to the final, I'll come as the whole of the EU!

We're going to start by playing Round One,

what is the connection between four apparently random clues?

The Eurovisionaries won the toss, so you'll be going first.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Eye Of Horus, please, Victoria.

Eye Of Horus. JINGLE

Egypt, sadly, not in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Although, was that the jingle of music I heard?

It was. Could it be Egyptian music?

Let's find out.

You'll be hearing your clues.

What connects them?

First one coming in now...

FEMALE CLASSICAL SINGER

Next, please.

# Pardon me, but I gotta run... #

Frank Sinatra, anyway.

Um...

# The fact's uncommonly clear... #

Next, please.

CHORAL SINGING: # Glo-oria... #

It's... Gloria In Excelsis.

# ..in excelsis deo... #

Next, please.

# Your kiss... #

Oh... BUZZER CHIMES

Heaven.

Tell me something else.

Angels. I'll take angels or heaven.

I mean, there's angels

in all of them,

which some people might say is a heavenly thing,

but the word is angels.

What did we hear? So, we heard Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel,

was the last one.

"Hosanna in the highest" is what I call it.

Angels From The Realms Of Glory.

The King's College Choir.

I'm not sure... I know it was Frank Sinatra, but it was...

Angel Eyes.

The Angel's Farewell from Elgar's Dream Of Gerontius.

Let's be honest, you only recognised the Eurovision-style disco one.

We recognised the disco, yes. We found our level.

Your love of disco led you to heaven,

angels was the connection.

You get one point. Fire-Eaters, over

to you for a choice. Water, please. Water.

OK, what is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

OK...

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Locations of something famous.

Yes, but...

I don't know what.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Tower.

There's a tower. Yes, Tokyo Tower.

Should we go for that?

BUZZER CHIMES

These are the locations of famous towers, we think.

Maybe I'll ask you to tell me something else.

Towers that look like the Eiffel Tower.

Well, exactly, I'll accept towers,

but famous towers that look like the Eiffel Tower,

particularly the fourth clue, which you didn't need to see.

The Eiffel Tower?

That one really looks like the Eiffel Tower.

What are the other ones?

The first is the Tokyo Tower, wherever it is in Tokyo.

And I don't know the second one.

The second one is the copy at the casino.

Oh, of course. Caesar's Palace,

or somewhere like that.

No, it's the Paris. The Paris Hotel. In Las Vegas.

All towers, particularly towers inspired by the Eiffel Tower,

including the Eiffel Tower itself. Well done.

Eurovisionaries, what would you like?

Twisted Flax, please. The Twisted Flax.

These are going to be picture clues.

What links them?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

That's John Bull.

They're going to be...

Next, please.

What is that? Is that shoes? Cobblers.

Bull...

Next, please.

That the flag of...the Dutch flag.

Two Dutch... Double Dutch.

Double Dutch, John Bull...

Three seconds.

BUZZER CHIMES

Double....

It's cobblers and double Dutch,

it means nonsense.

Oh, nonsense.

Which incidentally was about what I was just about to make up,

so it might have been a pertinent answer anyway.

I will accept nonsense.

I think you could have got this much earlier

because you were going, "Bull,

"cobblers, Bull..."

And then double Dutch. All gibberish or nonsense.

Do you know who that is in the first picture?

I'm trying to think... Even with the answer, I'm struggling.

No, I don't know.

You don't know Philip Jibberish?

It's not Philip Jibberish. It's Peter Tosh.

He was in the Wailers, Bob Marley And The Wailers, originally.

The musician Tosh, Bull, cobblers and double Dutch.

Why does cobblers mean nonsense?

No idea.

It's rhyming slang.

Cobblers' awls.

I won't say what that rhymes with.

I mean, this really is not a family show.

Families would fall apart trying to make each other watch this,

but I won't spell it out.

But cobblers' awls is the full rhyming phrase.

Fire-Eaters, what would you like?

Lion, please. Lion.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Oh, is this like...

Seems like a fictional character, probably.

Next, please.

Are these myths about Obama or something like that?

I don't know.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

BUZZER CHIMES

These are things which are alleged about Barack Obama.

That probably aren't true.

You could have come in earlier as well.

They are claims made against Barack Obama,

and the fourth clue would have been, he was born in Kenya.

But, yes, all sorts of things said about Barack Obama.

And they were some of them, well done.

Back to you, Eurovisionaries.

Horned Viper, please. Horned Viper.

OK. What's the connection?

Here's the first clue.

Next, please.

We can. Se puede...is it?

Not seeing much here. Next, please.

We ourselves. Oh!

BUZZER CHIMES

They're the names of political parties

in the respective countries.

Yes, they are.

You did not need the last one,

Party of Wales, Plaid Cymru.

These are names of political parties translated.

Can you tell me them in their original languages?

Yes, so "We ourselves" is Sinn Fein...

That's right.

People often say it's ourselves alone, don't they?

But that's not right.

That's not right. Do you speak any Gaelic?

HE SPEAKS A GAELIC PHRASE Excellent.

And the others? "We can" is Podemos?

That's right. And "From the roots" must be Syriza.

That's absolutely right.

"Radical coalition of the left" -

it's an acronym for that as well.

So that is it. Names of political parties translated into English.

Well done.

Fire-Eaters, what would you like?

I guess we'll go for the Two Reeds.

It's just as well because that's the only one you can have.

The Two Reeds. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

OK, I don't have a clue.

Is this film? I don't know.

Next, please.

I've seen that film but I don't remember it much.

THEY CONFER

I think we should take another. Next, please.

OK, these are things that... Time.

Yeah, that's right.

BUZZER CHIMES

These are ways of

turning back time, we think,

particularly in fictional contexts.

They are means of achieving time travel in those films.

You didn't need the last clue, the flux capacitor

from Back To The Future.

My favourite. How does the flux capacitor work?

By getting to 88mph.

That's right. It's a DeLorean, isn't it, that Doc Brown constructs?

When it gets to 88mph, it travels in time.

The black hole in Star Trek,

I have no idea how that works,

but let's not pause to discuss it.

Donnie Darko, who remembers that?

Why does he go into the wormhole?

Why does he do that? Because there's a jumbo jet going to crash?

He's sacrificing himself, isn't he,

to prevent bad things happening in the future.

Superman flies around the Earth.

All means for achieving time travel in films, well done.

That means, at the end of Round One,

Eurovisionaries have 4 points,

the Fire-Eaters have 6.

On to Round Two, the sequences round.

What comes fourth is what I will be asking the teams.

And I'll be asking them that... immediately.

Eurovisionaries, which question would you like?

Lion, please.

Lion. What will be fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Johnny Briggs.

Johnny Briggs is Mike Baldwin,

Coronation Street.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

200, Alec Bedser.

Who's Alec Bedser? I don't know who he is. No idea.

Next, please.

Fred Trueman. That's a cricketer, isn't it?

There might be more than one Johnny Briggs.

Yes. Let's think about a cricketer that's relatively...

Ian Botham, say?

Yeah, why not?

400, Ian Botham.

That's not the answer. Fire-Eaters,

would you like to have a go for a bonus point?

I'm going to say 400: Richard Hadley.

That's not it. What do you think the sequence is?

The first person to that many wickets.

Yes, it is bowling milestones, but 400, it's James Anderson.

The Burnley Lara.

I remember that happening...

Why is it I get the feeling that cricket

is not your strong point?

Not a thing.

I was hoping it was Coronation Street

when I saw the first one come up.

We thought that, too.

Thought we were having a Mike Baldwin question.

What did Fred Trueman say when he was asked

if anyone would ever beat his record?

"No."

I don't know.

He said, "Aye, but they'll be bloody tired."

James Anderson got the 400

Test match wickets in 2015.

So, nobody gets a bonus point, but you may have your own question,

Fire-Eaters. Which is it to be?

We'll have the Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Possibly, but it could be lots of things.

Next, please.

Cat.

Oh, dear.

It's not to do with... I can't see this at all.

Next, please.

Oh, GMT, time zones.

Oh, yes, well done.

Happy with that?

BUZZER CHIMES

0: GMT.

I'll take that answer.

We actually had 0: UTC.

Fair enough. But GMT is correct.

What are we looking at?

Central European Time,

Central African Time

and Eastern African Time.

That's absolutely right.

And what does UTC stand for? Universal Time something.

Clock. No, can't be clock, doesn't make sense.

No, it doesn't stand for anything at all!

That was a weird compromise.

English speakers wanted

CUT, Coordinated Universal Time,

and French speakers wanted Temps Universel Coordonne.

So they agreed to have neither,

and they have the same letters but in a completely different order.

So it's the same as GMT.

So, time zones, that's absolutely right, and nought, where we are,

there's no time difference with ourselves.

UTC or GMT.

Eurovisionaries, what would you like?

Eye Of Horus, please. The Eye Of Horus.

What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Were they married?

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

So maybe it's going back in time.

I mean, the only one...

BUZZER CHIMES

Marie and Pierre Curie, Chemistry.

I'm afraid that's not

the answer, so there's a bonus chance for you,

Fire-Eaters.

We'll try Marie and Pierre Curie, Physics.

That is the right answer.

What are we looking at?

I think they are

married couples who have won Nobel prizes

at the same time. And in brackets is what they won it in.

That's absolutely right. And we are going back in time,

because May-Britt and Moser, it was 2014, in fact, that

that married couple won. And we are going back in time,

and Marie and Pierre Curie won jointly for physics.

These are Nobel prize-winners,

married couples, unlucky over there.

Right people,

wrong discipline - physics is right for a bonus point.

And you may choose a question.

We'll have the Water, please.

The Water question. JINGLE

Ah! It's a music sequence.

So you will be hearing the clues, but you won't hear the fourth clue,

I want you to tell me what it is.

Your first one is coming in now.

INSTRUMENTAL DANCE MUSIC

Is this familiar to anyone?

Does anyone know this?

Next, please.

ORCHESTRAL MUSIC WITH FLUTE

OK, this is... Faure's Pavane.

Pavane, yes...

It was used as the World Cup for France '98.

'96. No, I think it was '98, France '98, actually.

So could this be...

Next, please.

MUSIC: America from West Side Story

America, 2002.

2006...

2006 was in... Japan, wasn't it?

No, no.

No, Germany. No, it wasn't there, sorry. I don't know.

We've got to say something.

Three seconds.

BUZZER CHIMES

Um... I think German.

Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Eurovisionaries, you have a chance of a bonus point now.

Nessun Dorma. Is the right answer.

What's the sequence?

So it's the themes of...

It's World Cup themes, going from...

Starting in 2002 and going back to 1990.

That's absolutely right. Nessun Dorma is the answer.

Unfortunately we don't have Nessun Dorma to play in,

but there's no reason why the viewers at home

wouldn't be reminded how it goes.

Let's go from "All'alba vincero," you'll remember,

"Vincero, vincero." Let's go, one, two,

three.

# Vincer... #

Yes, go, I like it.

# Vince... # Oh, come on!

I don't know the words.

To be honest...

We made a pact not to sing! ..I'm very disappointed, frankly.

That was an opportunity for a rousing statement of "I will win".

Yes, Nessun Dorma, Pavarotti,

was the theme of the 1990 World Cup and is the right answer.

Plus you may choose a question.

The Horned Viper, please.

The Horned Viper, OK.

What will come forth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Is this a Canadian rapper question?

Next, please.

Steinbeck?

Yeah. Are they...

Prize-winning novels?

Next, please.

Are they Oscar winners?

How Green Was My Valley wasn't...

Is it...? Maybe...

Three seconds. BUZZER CHIMES

The Philadelphia Story.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Fire-Eaters, do you want to have a go for a bonus point?

Gone With The Wind. We are going to try Gone With The Wind.

Not it either. What do you think this sequence is?

It is something about Oscar winners, I think. Yes.

In order of when they got them...

Yes, it is Oscar winners

in order of when they got them.

But I don't know which one is forth.

What they have in common is they were all directed by John Ford.

John Ford's films, and the next one was The Quiet Man.

Oh, you're joking. Yes, The Quiet Man.

Lovely romantic comedy set in Ireland with John Wayne.

Still room for a massive fight sequence.

I've seen it at least three times a year for most of my life.

Well, you may never want to see it again. No.

The Quiet Man was the answer, so no bonus points,

but, Fire-Eaters, you may choose a question.

Two Reeds. It's a very good choice,

I'm pleased you went for that one.

These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in a fourth picture?

Here's the first.

OK, the snake. He's called Kaa. From Jungle Book.

K-a or K-a-a. I don't know...

I can't think what the sequence is.

Should we go for the next one?

Next, please.

That's the horse from War Horse, presumably.

Yes.

Oh, is it Equus or War Horse? I don't know.

That's Michael Morpurgo. The first one is by Rudyard Kipling.

Next, please.

I don't know what that is.

Goat.

What's going to come next, I don't know.

Snake, horse...

Three seconds.

BUZZER CHIMES

What comes after goat?

Is it rat? I can't give you long.

A rat? Not the answer,

I'm afraid, so, Eurovisionaries,

last chance for a bonus this round.

Will it be a picture

of the gorilla doing the In The Air Tonight drumming?

Unfortunately, no,

it's a picture of Cuddles the monkey with Keith Harris,

but I will give you the points,

and why?

So, it's Chinese Zodiac years going around, in sequential years,

so one year is the year of the snake,

the following is the year of the horse.

Yes, Chinese years. Snake, horse,

goat, the next one will be a monkey.

We went for lovely Cuddles the monkey.

Could have been a gorilla drumming.

Technically an ape rather than a monkey, but it is acceptable,

so you get the bonus point.

And that means, at the end of Round Two,

the Eurovisionaries have 6 points,

the Fire-Eaters have 9.

It's the Connecting Wall now -

the 16 jumbled-up clues that must be solved like concept Sudoku.

You're going first this time, Fire-Eaters,

so would you like Lion or Water?

We'll have the Lion wall, please.

OK, two and a half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting...

now.

OK, Cornucopia. Giant Puffball? I don't... Mushroom, mushroom.

Yeah. Oyster's a mushroom as well.

Milkcap's a mushroom. Brilliant, OK.

We have types of sushi here as well. Western roll, I think...

Hang on, Western roll's a way of...

These are ways of doing the high jump.

Do we have another type of mushroom here?

Gutshot sounds like it... No, OK. So we've got...

Flop and Western roll are both ways of doing...

and belly roll sounds like it probably is.

Scissors is, too. Shall we try this as ways of doing the high jump?

OK, something else. The Kicker, could that be one?

Eastern cut-off is definitely one. Let's try cutting Scissors.

OK, we'll try cutting the Flop.

OK, cool.

So you're on mushrooms here? What's River?

Under the Gun - that's a poker term.

Flop is a poker term.

Yeah. Gutshot is a poker term, and Kicker is a poker term.

Three strikes and you're out now.

Right, so think. So...

Mushrooms. Mark the three mushrooms that we have.

So we reckon that...

Did you reckon Horn of Plenty is a mushroom? Oyster.

Horn of Plenty? No, Milkcap. OK.

We've got...

We haven't had a word one yet, have we?

Bunk and River and Camp. Hmm.

Bunk bed. Camp bed.

Riverbed. Apple-pie bed doesn't...

Oyster bed is a thing, though. So maybe it's that.

In which case, we're going to have...

Camp, Oyster, Bunk and River.

And so what's these ones? These four - Apple-pie, Giant Puffball...

Let's mark...

Could that be a mushroom? I think these have got to be mushrooms.

That's got to be beds. Yes.

Do we want to go for that?

We'll give that a try, shall we?

Yeah, so we reckon it's mushrooms and beds.

OK, that's not right. So Oyster mushroom.

Could you have a Milkcap bed?

Apple-pie bed, maybe? That sounds more plausible than anything else.

You've solved the wall, very well done.

And I will give you extra points if you can tell me what connects them.

Tell me about the first blue group, starting Belly roll.

These are ways of performing the high jump.

That's exactly right, methods of doing the high jump.

And the green group - Flop, Kicker, Under the Gun, Gutshot.

These are poker terms. Yeah. They are all poker terms.

What about the pink group, starting Milkcap?

I'm told they're types of mushroom.

They are all simply types of mushroom.

And the last turquoise group, Apple-pie, Camp, Bunk, River.

We think that if you put...

You can put the word "bed" after all of them to get concepts,

which are, some of them, beds.

You can put "bed" after all of them.

Yes, the Apple-pie bed is a sort of practical joke,

where you fold the sheet halfway so you can't get in.

Oh, I've never heard of that. In old school stories.

They do it at boarding school,

so you get into bed but you can't quite get in.

OK. But you did find all the groups, and that is all the connections,

so you get the maximum of 10 points.

Let's bring in the Eurovisionaries now,

give them a new Connecting Wall

and see what they can do about solving it.

It's the Water wall for you.

Two and a half minutes of clues to solve it, starting now.

OK, so, Cheney, so we've got some...

Oh, yeah. We've got Dick Cheney. Goatee beard?

Goatee beards. We've got some Dicks.

Emperor. OK, so let's try this.

Dick Cheney, Dick Advocaat, Dick Van Dyke...

Dick Francis?

No. Oh, Dick Turpin. Advocaat, Turpin, Van Dyke.

Is Humboldt one? That's a penguin. Yeah.

Chinstrap penguin? Yes, that is a type of...

And a... Whew. I don't know.

Adelie penguin?

No.

So who do we think are the Dicks? Go through them.

So Dick Cheney, Dick Turpin, Dick Advocaat, Dick Van Dyke,

maybe Dick Francis.

So leave Francis out.

Leave Van Dyke out.

There we go.

You can have a wedding anniversary. You can have a Golden, Diamond...

Yeah, no.

I think Adelie is a penguin, is it?

Maybe, try it. Adelie. Humboldt, Emperor.

Chinstrap.

I think we tried that. Balbo penguin?

Shall we try again, leave out Humboldt?

Leave out Emperor, cos that's the obvious one.

No, OK.

Macaroni.

Is it other kinds of, um, pasta?

Shall we do the beards?

OK, so Chinstrap, Goatee, Macaroni, a twiddly moustache.

Humboldt sounds like a beard to me. Try that.

Skaters' beard?

Skaters' beard, Chinstrap, Goatee and what else did we go for?

Macaroni.

I'm looking for a wordy one. What's a Balbo? I don't know.

30 seconds.

Skaters' something.

10 seconds. Looking for words in words.

No...

And that's it, your time is up,

the wall has frozen but you found a group,

and can you tell me what connects Cheney, Advocaat, Francis, Turpin?

They're all Dicks.

They are all Dicks, I can confirm that's correct.

And you can still get points for the connections

in the groups you didn't find. So let's resolve the wall.

There you go.

Anniversary, Emperor, Skaters', Minute.

Or Minute.

Oh, the Skaters' waltz...

Are they waltzes? They are all waltzes. Yeah.

Spotted that at the end there.

Macaroni, Humboldt, Adelie, Chinstrap.

Types of penguin.

They are the penguins. That's absolutely right. OK.

And the last turquoise group, starting French fork.

Facial hair?

Yes, more specifically?

Beards. They're all beards.

So one point for the group you found and four more for the connections.

That's a total of five.

Let's have a look at the scores.

The Eurovisionaries have 11 points,

the Fire-Eaters have 19.

But it could all change here in Round Four,

where points are won and lost in the missing vowels round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group

are all adjectives involving food.

Visionaries.

Ham-fisted. Correct.

Visionaries.

Beefed-up. Correct.

Visionaries.

Pie-eyed. Yes, it is.

Fire-Eaters. Bread and butter.

Correct. Next category -

similes involving black.

Visionaries.

The ace of spades. Correct.

Tricky one here from Twelfth Night.

As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war.

Next clue.

Fire-Eaters.

Newgate's Knocker. Correct.

Visionaries.

Oh... Not it, I'm afraid.

I must take a point away.

Fire-Eaters, do you know?

Darkest night?

It is, as black as darkest night.

Next category, cities on the Mississippi.

Fire-Eaters.

New Orleans. Correct.

Fire-Eaters.

Minneapolis. Correct.

Fire-Eaters.

Baton Rouge. Yes, it is.

Fire-Eaters. Saint Paul.

Are you from the Mississippi?!

Correct.

There will not be another category

because the bell has gone for the end of the quiz.

And, looking at the final scores, I can tell you that

the Eurovisionaries finish with 14,

but the winners, with 26,

are the Fire-Eaters.

Very well done, excellent quizzing.

You are through to the next round.

Visionaries, you've been a great pleasure to quiz with and you may

be through in our new system -

if you are among the highest scoring losers in this block of the quiz,

we'll be seeing you again, and I hope we do.

Thanks very much for watching and please join me next time

for another episode of the show with closing remarks so formulaic

that if A were B, then C would be D.

Goodbye.

This is a trailer for BBC Four's conceptual art season.