Dandies v Beaks Only Connect

Hello and welcome.

Some people are very sceptical about mediums,

they say it is completely fraudulent and made up but I once consulted

a medium, I won't tell you his name but someone very well known, and he

told me he could immediately sense that someone close to me had died.

And did the letter F mean anything to me?

Well, it didn't so he said, what about the letter R? No. U?

S, T, O, N? K, E, what about L?

And then suddenly it hit me, Uncle Frustonkel, he died last year.

So, keep your minds open and let's meet the teams.

On my right, Oscar Powell, a geology graduate whose mother

and aunt feature on the front covers of the Famous Five novels in Sweden.

Lewis Barn, a keen saxophonist who failed his driving test

in the first 30 seconds.

And their captain, Jack Bennett,

an English student who took part in the world's largest pie

fight in Cumbria.

United by a soft spot for the sartorial, they are the Dandies.

You won your first game against the Gaffers.

How are you feeling about the next match?

Er...more optimistic than we were before the first match

so fingers crossed.

You are facing this evening on my left Rob Cromarty, a classics

teacher and published author who used to work in an abattoir.

Aidan Sproat-Clements, a maths teacher and music enthusiast who

creates his own modular origami Christmas decorations.

And their captain, Dan Sproat-Clements, a French teacher

and West Wing enthusiast who once met Liza Minnelli in an underground corridor.

United by an appetite for education, they are the Beaks.

Now, you beat the Disparates in a nailbiter.

Tell me about that last game.

Until about three quarters of the way through

the Connecting Wall it was not going very well for us at all.

I think we scored zero points in Round Two but were saved

by a bevy of Barbaras doing quite well on the wall

so it went up from there.

Well, good luck this evening. You won the toss, it was a good start.

You will be going first. Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds will be the first question of this match, what do these

apparently random clues have in common? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next one, please.

There is something missing from those words.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

Er...they are all, um...

-Song titles.

-Song titles and they are the...

I will put you out of your misery. Not the answer, I am afraid.

Dandies, you have a chance of a possible bonus point.

Films with directors with L at the start of the name and H at the end.

L at the beginning, H at the end

and we get Ken Loach the director of Hidden Agenda, Ernst Lubitsch, the

director of Heaven Can Wait, not the Warren Beatty one, an earlier film.

Secrets And Lies, Mike Leigh and Mulholland Drive, David Lynch.

Do you know Mulholland Drive was voted in 2016 poll

the greatest film of the 21st century so far? It definitely isn't.

Well done, Dandies. You get a bonus and may choose a question.

-Water, please.

-Water. OK.

What is the connection between these picture clues? Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Next, please.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

-Toto.

-Is the right answer. Tell me who we are looking at.

-Well, the band, Toto. The dog from the Wizard Of Oz.

-Yes.

I'm trying to think... I don't know who the other two are.

Christian Toto Wolff is the head of the Mercedes Formula 1 team

and Salvatore Toto Schillaci, the Italian striker. Footballer.

-You don't know Toto Schillaci?

-Yeah, I don't recognise him.

I thought he was an Italian footballer.

Well done, there are seven of us here

and you're the only one who has heard of him so that is somewhere.

-So, well done and over to you, Beaks, for a choice.

-Horned Viper.

What is the connection between these clues? Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Next, please.

Subtitles of biographies.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

-Unfinished.

-Is the right answer.

-Which of these clues did you recognise?

-The fourth.

Yes, Schubert's No. 8

known as the Unfinished Symphony. Something's Got To Give is a film

starring Marilyn Monroe but it was unfinished at the time of her death.

The Athenaeum Portrait by Gilbert Stuart was

a portrait of George Washington.

-And The Last Tycoon, do you know what that is?

-No.

-F Scott Fitzgerald.

-That is a novel by F Scott Fitzgerald, unfinished.

-Well done. Dandies, what would you like?

-Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax.

Everyone is listening for the musical note, it's not this one.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

-Spanish.

-Is the right answer.

Good buzzing, you didn't need to see Riding School,

the Spanish Riding School in Vienna where the Lipizzaner horses are.

I think you got that one quite early.

Was it your team that had a really brave buzz after one clue in the opening heat?

It backfired immensely!

Well, it backfired in a way. We all admired you for coming in after one clue

but it wasn't quite right.

Now you're perhaps waiting for the extra clue to be sure.

-Beaks, back to you for a choice.

-Lion.

-Lion.

Oh, you won the 50-50. It's not the music question.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Let's go with it. Go for it.

They had no pubs.

Is the right answer, coming in after two clues. You get three points.

You didn't need to see America and Saudi Arabia -

this is to do with alcohol bans.

Yes, the Faroe Islands, alcohol not banned any more but there's

only six shops that sell alcohol in the Faroe Islands, state run shops.

You have to schlep around them all

to get a decent drink. Very well done.

-Why do you know so much about drinking?

-Habit!

Yes, I imagine teachers, like children at boarding schools, have

to do a lot of sneaking around to get their hands on alcohol.

-Less sneaking.

-Slightly less sneaking.

Very well done, well spotted after that early buzz.

Dandies, only one question remains

and we all know it is going to be the music question.

It is the Eye of Horus.

What is the connection between the clues you are going to hear?

First one coming in now.

# The smart money's on Harlow

# And the moon is in the street

# The shadow boys are breaking all the laws... #

Next, please.

# I'm afraid of the dark

# Especially when I'm in a park

# And there's no-one else around

# Oh, I get the shivers... #

Next, please.

# We're children

# Needing other children. #

Next, please.

# Look around

# Everywhere you turn is heartache

# It's everywhere that you go... #

-Magazines.

-Is the right answer.

Surely Vogue a popular track for your team,

all very fashion conscious. What else did we hear apart from Vogue?

-Life.

-Des'ree, Life.

That is a song that has that great lyric,

"I don't want to see a ghost, it is the sight that I fear most,

"I would rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news."

And the other ones?

-Yeah, Time.

-Yeah, Time by Tom Waits was the first one

and People from the musical Funny Girl.

Very well done.

That means at the end of Round One the Beaks have four points,

the Dandies have five.

On to Round Two, the sequences round.

This time the teams may see a maximum of three clues

and I will ask them what comes fourth.

Beaks, you'll be going first again.

Which hieroglyph would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-The Two Reeds, OK.

You will be seeing the first in a sequence, what comes fourth?

Time starts now.

Is it Bucks Fizz?

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Two seconds.

-First, Making Your Mind Up.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

-So, Dandies you have the chance of a bonus point.

-First, Puppet String.

-Is the right answer. And why is that?

-Britain's

-Eurovision winners going backwards chronologically.

-That's right.

These are UK Eurovision winners.

We are going backwards so Making Your Mind Up, it was Bucks Fizz

but we had taken out the middle words.

Third, Save All Your Kisses For Me.

Boom Bang A Bang and we wanted to hear Puppet On A String

going backwards towards that hit for Sandie Shaw in 1967.

-So, well done. You get the bonus and may choose a question.

-Horned Viper.

OK, what would come fourth in this picture sequence? Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Professor Green and who's that? Pink.

-So, white, red, pink, green.

-Yellow, red, pink, green.

Is it colours opposite on the chart?

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

-Blue and...

-Pink.

-No, we've got pink. Yellow!

-What is your answer?

-Blue and yellow.

That's not the right answer so Beaks you have a chance of the bonus point.

Is it a picture of blue and black?

I can't take it from either of you. The answer is just blue.

We have a picture of the band Blue. Do you know what this is?

-Colours of the rainbow?

-But it isn't the colours of the rainbow.

It is, according to the song I Can Sing A Rainbow.

Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue.

They perhaps couldn't think of a rhyme scheme for the actual colours

but that is the fallacious... I mean, obviously what

we say are the colours of the rainbow isn't right, either.

But this is a particular song that gets it a bit wrong.

And what are we looking at in the first picture?

-The MCC tie and blazer...

-Red and yellow. So, no points there.

-Beaks, what would you like next?

-Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax, what would come fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

-Underneath The Lintel.

-For what reason?

-It is a one-hand play.

A correct answer. We went with Shirley Valentine.

What is going on in this sequence?

Four in Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, three in Art,

two in Dumb Waiter and one in Shirley Valentine.

The number of actors required to put on that particular play.

That's right, plays with four, three, two and one characters.

Some people might be thinking of the film

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf which does have an extra couple of people

but four characters in the original play, Edward Albee.

Art, Yasmina Reza, that play has three characters.

The Dumb Waiter, Harold Pinter, is a two hander and we needed to hear

something with one person. Underneath The Lintel, perfectly acceptable.

We had Shirley Valentine.

Could have had Harry's Christmas which I went to see on my first date

about a man taking his own life because he is alone at Christmas.

Shirley Valentine's a bit happier.

-Well done. Dandies, what would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. OK.

What will come fourth in this sequence? Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Chloe Smith is the one who was on Newsnight.

She got ripped to bits by Paxman.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

2015, Mhairi Black.

Is the right answer.

And why is that?

Youngest, yeah, what's it called? Child of the...

Baby of the House, I think it's called.

Baby of the House is the expression, that's absolutely right,

for the person that is the youngest MP

in the House of Commons at any given time.

Next in the sequence would be Mhairi Black.

Other Babies of the House have included

Charles Kennedy, Tony Benn, Roy Jenkins.

If we'd done his era, we could have had a picture sequence.

Nice picture of some steel to

indicate Roy Jenkins, we could have done that.

Very well done, Mhairi Black is the right answer.

Beaks, what would you like?

Water, please.

Water, OK. What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Two seconds.

3 on 10.

Not the answer, I'm afraid. Dandies, do you want to have a go?

-Yes, please.

-U over 11?

That's not it, either. What are you thinking the sequence is?

Maybe something on a dartboard?

It's not a dartboard, this is about backgammon.

Starting positions in backgammon

and the number of checkers on those points.

-Nobody here play backgammon?

-Yeah, so, 2 on...

..5?

2 on 1, 2 on 1. Are you the cribbage player?

-Yes.

-Somebody here was a keen cribbage player.

-You don't play much backgammon?

-We used to,

-but then we started playing more cribbage.

-Cribbage is a great game.

So, one question remains, the Eye of Horus.

That will be for you, Dandies.

What comes fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

France: un.

I will accept that answer.

For a perfect answer I want to hear La France: Une.

Why would that be?

Um, the number... It's the country

in French and then the number of, er,

official languages in that country.

-And longue is feminine.

-And it would be une longue.

Une longue. But "un" is correct.

These are official languages of francophone countries and I

need to hear a country that speaks only French, officially, and that

would be France in the answer you gave. But, of course there are

many other countries that would have fit that description.

-Can you name a couple of them?

-Senegal?

Senegal.

Togo. Monaco.

-Benin.

-Republic of the Congo.

Ivory Coast. Have you travelled in many of these countries?

-No.

-Think how easily you could communicate if you had.

A country that speaks only French as its official language. Well done.

That means, at the end of Round Two,

the Beaks have six points,

the Dandies have 11.

Time now for the 16 clue horror of the Connecting Wall.

And, Dandies, you'll be going first this time, so, please, choose Lion or Water?

-Water, please.

-OK, you have two and a half minutes to solve

the Water wall, starting now.

East Anglia... Winds, maybe?

These are Ford Cars.

Capri and Anglia.

Fine, put those in, let's try that.

BUZZ

THEY CONFER

-I think there's Roman things.

-Dr Pepper, Dr No, Dr Strange...

-Yes.

-Dr Faustus?

BUZZ

THEY CONFER

Did we try that with Capri?

BUZZ

-Shall we leave out Anglia?

-Yeah.

-Leave out Anglia now, and Tribune.

-BUZZ

BUZZ

Just keep trying that group of five,

but keep leaving out...

BUZZ

We left out Anglia.

Did we leave out Prefect?

-BUZZ

-Leave out Prefect.

Try doctors again, because we've

got Dr Strange, Dr Pepper, Dr no.

We've already tried those three. Are

there any more doctors, definitely?

THEY CONFER

I'm sure we have

Roman things as well.

-BUZZ

-So let's leave out Tribune.

-BUZZ

-So then let's leave out Consul.

-BUZZ

-Let's leave out...

Have we left out Quaestor?

BUZZ

Where does Legg come into it? It's a surname.

Is there a Dr Legg from some...fiction?

No idea. Um...

BUZZ

So, have we tried, so...

There's Capri pants as well, any other types of...

-Any other...

-Pop.

-Pop pants. Pop pants, is that a thing?

Um, Consul and Aedile and Prefect...

BUZZ

BUZZ 30 seconds left.

-Legg...

-Quaestor, Quaestor is...

THEY CONFER

-BUZZ

-Dr Faustus, is he a doctor?

Oh, well done, that's good.

We have to keep going.

So, we'll try...

BUZZ Ten seconds.

No, Ford, yeah, Ford...Tribune...

BUZZ

That's it, the time is up and the wall has frozen.

But you found a group and I'll give you more points if you can

tell me the connections. Strange, No, Faustus, Legg.

-Doctors.

-Doctors! Good old Dr Legg from EastEnders,

of course, Leonard Fenton, the wonderful old doctor.

More points for the connections in the groups you didn't find.

So, let's resolve the wall.

There we go.

Pepper, Capri, Pop, Uni.

We'll say types of pants and hope so?

That's not it. This is a word one,

you can put "corn" after all of them,.

Peppercorn, Capricorn, popcorn, unicorn.

The word one.

And the next group, Aedile, Censor, Tribune, Quaestor.

Roman titles or...

Roman officials, yes, that's right. And the last group,

Prefect, Anglia, Zephyr, Consul.

Ford models. Cars.

They are models of Ford.

So you found one group

on that difficult wall

and you gave me three connections, that's a total of four.

We'll bring in the Beaks now, give them the other wall, the Lion wall.

See what they can do about solving it.

You have two and half minutes, of course, and that time starts now.

-Quincy is a detective.

-Claret's a type of red.

Inigo is a character from Princess Pride.

-Toby jug, claret jug.

-Toby jug, claret jug, milk jug.

-Milk jug.

Puzzle jug is a kind of jug.

-BUZZ

-Measuring jug.

Cycle all the... Fine.

BUZZ

Yorkshire terrier... Yorkshire terrier, Border terrier, er...

-Boston terrier.

-Boston terrier.

-Lakeland terrier.

-Inigo Jones, Quincy Jones, Aled Jones...

Toby Jones is an actor.

Yeah, good.

Quincy and Inigo?

-Inigo...

-BUZZ

January Jones, January Jones.

So then, what's the fourth one? If they're right,

what's the fourth thing? Kerry Blue...

It's a kind of cheese. Nantucket.

-Fine, so then, we've got...

-Three lives now.

..terriers and something else, then.

-Load up three terriers.

-Yorkshire, Border...

-Boston, Lakeland...

Yorkshire, Border,

Lakeland and Boston are the pairings, so that would make it...

..Quincy... Ugh.

So we're looking for cheeses...

I'm going to go with cheese.

I'm thinking cheese.

Is there anything in the words?

Types of cow, is Kerry Blue...

We're about halfway through time.

OK, fine, so, um...

Ring, tuck, Kermer... That's a

kind of Greek mythology word.

Quin, five. Um...

OK, anything... So...

Field, tuck... No. Nan...

There once was a girl from Nantucket.

Stop it! Um...

Er...

They only thing I've got...

-What did you think was also...

-Lakeland.

-Lakeland terrier.

-Fine.

-Go for it now.

-BUZZ

-OK, so... Border...

Nantucket terrier or Springfield terrier?

We've only...

One more life now.

-I don't think Kerry Blue can be a terrier, surely.

-I don't know.

OK, so...

We've had Yorkshire in there for every single one, haven't we?

But... Yorkshire blue, Kerry Blue, um...

Oh, blue cheeses?

So Kerry Blue, Yorkshire blue, maybe. I don't know.

Try Springfield.

Nope. That was your third life

and the wall has frozen.

But you found two groups. What about the connections?

Claret, measuring, puzzle, milk.

-Types of jug.

-They are all types of jug.

And the green group, Aled, Toby, January, Inigo.

-Joneses.

-They are all Joneses.

You can still get points for the connections of the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall. There we go.

Boston, Nantucket, Quincy, Springfield.

Are they all...

..places in Massachusetts.

They're all places in Massachusetts! Absolutely right.

Boston and Nantucket the famous ones.

Quincy, the birthplace of John Quincy Adams.

And then Springfield.

There are actually 38 places called Springfield in America,

39 if you count the Simpsons' home.

One of them is in Massachusetts.

And the last group.

Lakeland, Kerry Blue, Border, Yorkshire.

-Terriers?

-Those are the terriers that you spotted early,

but you kept putting Boston in there.

Sorry!

So, two points for the groups you found and all four connections,

that is a total of six. Let's have a look at the scores.

The Beaks have 12 points,

the Dandies have 15.

And if you'd like to take part in the next series of Only Connect,

then why not go to the website...

..to find out how to apply?

But we're going to apply ourselves to Round Four,

the missing vowels round. So, fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group are all...

-Beaks.

-Twelfth Night and Orsino.

Correct.

-Beaks?

-Hamlet and Bernardo.

Correct.

-Dandies.

-Macbeth and First Witch.

Correct.

-Beaks?

-As You Like it and Orlando.

Correct.

Next category....

-Beaks.

-Anchor?

Correct.

-Beaks?

-Alpha and omega.

Yes, it is.

-Beaks?

-Pelican.

Well done.

-Dandies.

-Ichthys?

Well done, the fish symbol.

Next category...

Dandies.

Loo and... Sorry.

Too long. Beaks, do you know?

-ALL:

-Loo and khazi.

Correct.

-Beaks.

-Public convenience and bog.

Correct.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

We could have sat her all night

-Rest room and something!

-House of office?

-It IS rest room and

house of office! House of Office is a Pepysian phrase for a lavatory.

But no points for that,

because the bell has gone for the end of the quiz, and I can tell you

that the winners with 20 points and straight through to the next round

are the Beaks, very well done.

Dandies, you finish on 16 points. I don't know if you

go through to the next round or not.

I know you don't go home. We may play this round again.

There may be some whole other competition we do.

Perhaps tiddlywinks. I simply don't know.

But we'll be meeting you again.

And if you've just tuned in,

well, I hope you're planning to watch the next programme,

not this one, because this one is nearly finished.

And this bit, this, what I'm doing now,

this is not a good bit.

I mean, this is nothing, this is not why we make the show.

If Only Connect were a sausage,

this bit is really just sawdust and bread and ground-up bits of ear.

I'm sorry about that.

Goodnight.