Meeples v Parishioners Only Connect


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Meeples v Parishioners

Quiz show presented by Victoria Coren Mitchell. The Meeples and Parishioners compete for their last chance to stay in the competition.


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Transcript


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Hello, and welcome to Only Connect, where I'm very relieved.

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Because we've finally clarified things after a legal

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complaint from Agatha Christie's estate.

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Apparently, Round Two, the sequences round, where the conclusion

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is dramatically revealed at the end,

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is an infringement of 14 different

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narrative structure patents that the estate has registered.

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But our lawyers have responded,

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and apparently we're in the clear as long as I'm not a wizened

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old lady making gnomic pronouncements over her knitting.

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So we've got at least another six months.

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Joining me to quiz this evening are...

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on my right, Tom West.

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A law graduate with an interest in light opera, who sang a wrong note

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while performing a bass solo live on Mexican television.

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Hugh Trimble.

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An English teacher who plays the ukulele,

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and has written a song about his fridge.

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And their captain, Gail Trimble.

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A classics graduate with a passion for choral singing,

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who, aged five, insisted that her birthday cake read

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"Happy birthday, Janet."

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United by a soft spot for small board game figurines,

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they are the Meeples.

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Now, you won your opening heat against the Tequila Slammers,

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but you lost to the Belgophiles.

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What have you learned from the Only Connect experience?

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We have learned to invent strange, catchy new lyrics to Beatles songs,

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and that we need to know a lot more about reality TV.

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Very good life lessons, I'm sure.

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This evening you are facing, on my left, Tracey Rawlins.

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A community development worker with a love of penguins

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and an intense phobia of all other birds.

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Andy Rawlins, a programme manager and former charity worker

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who was rescued from a car crash by a noted Coronation Street actor.

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And their captain, Ian Fellows.

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A vicar with a Masters in law,

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whose godson's sister's godfather is Bear Grylls.

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All members of the same church, they are the Parishioners.

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You beat the Stewards in your opening heat,

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but you lost to the Vikings in Round Two.

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How have you prepared for this next encounter?

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We heard that tannin is good for the synapses in your brain,

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so we've drunk lots of tea.

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Excellent!

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Two married couples, I think we have on tonight's quiz.

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Things could get very scratchy, I can't wait! Let's play Round One.

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Parishioners, you won the toss, you'll be going first, please choose

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-an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Eye of Horus, please.

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The Eye of Horus.

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What is the connection between these picture clues? Here's the first.

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It's a raspberry.

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Golden Raspberry Awards...?

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Like to go next? Next, please.

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A joystick.

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Raspberry, joystick...

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I was thinking, is it, like, an iPad, Raspberry, Blackberry...?

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-No, can't really get... Next.

-Next, please.

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Doc Marten, that's boots...

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-Anything at all?

-Next.

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And next.

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Globe...

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BELL

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We're going to say that they

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are all things that can be Golden,

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as awards. The Golden Raspberries, the Golden Globe, Golden Boot.

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Lost our way on the joystick.

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That's right, the Golden Joystick

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is for the best video games of the year. Well done.

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You seemed to be miles away, then

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suddenly had the answer.

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What are the Golden Raspberries?

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Are they the "Razzies", for the worst films

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and worst performances at the cinema?

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That's right, a few categories -

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"Most Flatulent Teen-Targeted Movie"

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went to Jackass: The Movie.

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"Worst Eye-Gouging Misuse of 3-D",

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that went to The Last Airbender.

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All "Golden" awards -

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Golden Boot, of course, or Shoe,

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given to the top goal-scorer in the FIFA World Cup. Well done.

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Meeples, what would you like?

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-Twisted Flax, please.

-The Twisted Flax.

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What do these clues have in common? Here's the first.

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-It's a place in the Midlands...

-Right...

-Next.

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-Are they all...

-It's not Royal Sutton Coldfield.

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Keep going?

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-Yeah.

-Next.

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Maybe they ARE all... It is Royal... It's Royal Leamington Spa.

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-It is, yeah.

-Shall I just go for that? Or shall we...

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..take one more?

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Next.

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-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-BELL

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They've all had "Royal" added to their names.

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They've all had Royal added, yes -

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most famously in recent times Wootton Bassett,

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because the fallen

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returned home there from 2007

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and the locals gave them

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such a wonderful warm reception, it was named Royal Wootton Bassett.

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Royal towns of England, well done.

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Parishioners, back to you for a choice.

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-Horned Viper, please.

-Horned Viper.

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OK, well done, you've avoided the music question.

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These clues have something in common, but what is it?

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Here's the first.

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Same-sex fan fiction relationship...

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Stuff online...?

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Next, please.

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Closed HTML tag.

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There is a name for it, isn't there, which is...

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You kind of conflate two people's names together.

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Why that would be same-sex, I don't know... Next, please.

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Saul Hudson? Is it a conflation of two different names?

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-Is that anything on the HTML tag?

-Doesn't...

-No.

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Next, please.

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Doing a wee. Thanks!

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Erm... Five seconds.

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-Er...

-Two seconds.

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BELL

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We would like to say that somehow

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they're all conflations of two different names

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pushed into one,

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but then you were "doing a wee."

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So we don't know how that one fits.

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What's lovely about you is

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faced with the clue "doing a wee"

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we trust you not to say anything unbroadcastable.

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But I'm afraid your guess

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is not the right answer.

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-Meeples, do you want to have a go for a bonus point?

-Slash.

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-Is the right answer!

-Ah!

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What clues did you recognise?

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The first one, so you have Kirk/Spock or whatever..

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That's right -

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in fan fiction, on the internet,

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when they're going to write

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about a couple from a favourite

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TV show or something being in a same-sex relationship,

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you put a slash between their names.

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I mean, I have no idea.

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Have you ever read fan fiction

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-on the internet?

-Not really.

-Oh...

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I have a friend who writes it. I've read HIS.

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Hugh, you are suspicious of this!

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Does she read fan fiction on the internet?

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Not that I was previously aware of.

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How do you know this fact?

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Erm... Through reading stuff on the internet

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ABOUT fan fiction on the internet.

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Of course!

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-Just normal research.

-Perfectly respectable.

-Yeah!

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The closed HTML tag,

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I don't think anybody wants us to describe.

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-Saul Hudson, who's that?

-That's Slash from Guns N' Roses.

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The guitarist from Guns N' Roses,

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Slash is the connection, well done.

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So you get a bonus,

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and what would you like for a question?

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-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds. OK.

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What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

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-Bob Holness...?

-Yes.

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Hexagons... Next.

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That's the battle in Zulu.

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-OK.

-Did it involve...hexagons?

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Squares... They formed...

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Squares, yeah, exactly...

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Next.

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Is a kind of... It's hexagons, it's definitely hexagons.

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-Yeah.

-Things around... Six things around something else.

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-I think let's go for it.

-Yeah.

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BELL

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We think they all involve hexagons.

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That is a good strategy for a guess,

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but I'm afraid that's not the right answer.

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I'm going to show the fourth clue

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to the Parishioners,

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for a bonus point.

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We think they involve unequal teams.

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Unequal sides, that is the answer.

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-Talk me through the clues.

-Oh!

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-Blockbusters is two against one.

-Mm-hm.

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Rorke's Drift was a small number of British soldiers

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-against a large number of Zulu warriors.

-Mm-hm.

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Fox and Geese I think is a game where you have a small

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number of foxes chasing a large number of geese...

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And the ice hockey clue?

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-Don't know exactly what happens there.

-A power play is when

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a player or two is on the bench,

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they're serving a penalty,

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and one team has got more than the others.

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Now, you say Blockbusters, it's two against one -

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to us, of course,

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that is redolent with meaning,

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but to viewers who don't know,

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what is Blockbusters?

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A quiz show in the 1980s and 1990s,

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involving teams of students,

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-split two against one.

-Exactly -

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"I'll have a P, please, Bob."

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Unequal sides is the connection,

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well done.

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And your own question,

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-what's it to be?

-Can we have Water, please?

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Yes, you can. What is the connection between these clues?

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Here's the first.

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Paul Newman's first film. Any ideas?

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No. No clue.

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Next, please.

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Third Indiana Jones film is the...

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The Last Crusade...?

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Don't know, next.

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Next, please.

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First Robert Langdon film.

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So, Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade...

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I don't know. Do you want to go next? We've got a bit of time.

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The last is the interesting thing, but shall we...?

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Don't know. Go next.

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Next, please.

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First "proper" Monty Python film...

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-Crusades.

-Yeah, go for it.

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BELL

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We're going for...Crusades?

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I'm afraid that's not the answer.

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So a bonus chance for you, Meeples.

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-They all involve the Holy Grail.

-They all involve the Holy Grail!

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How do they involve it?

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Well - Monty Python And The Holy Grail

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-is the quest going on there.

-That's right, and the clue says

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"First proper Monty Python film",

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because And Now For Something Completely Different was

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a collection of sketches.

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And the other clues?

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The Indiana Jones is The Last Crusade,

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where...that's what they're searching for, as opposed to

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-the Ark of the Covenant or anything else.

-Exactly so.

-Erm...

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Robert Langdon is the Da Vinci Code guy,

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which...I guess involves the Holy Grail.

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It does involve the Holy Grail,

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let's not have any more spoilers.

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And the first one, the 1954 film The Silver Chalice,

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also involving the Holy Grail, well spotted.

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So that's a bonus,

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and you may have the last question of the round, the Lion question.

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DING There it is -

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what is the connection between these musical clues? Here's the first.

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CLASSICAL MUSIC

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That's the Witches' Sabbath from...

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..er...

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-We're going to have to have the next one.

-Next.

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# I was sitting... #

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Symphonie Fantastique.

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# On the roof of my house... #

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-Fantastic. Anything else? Do you know?

-The Witches' Sabbath.

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-Or witches.

-I don't know.

-Next.

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# Well, I know you want a lover... #

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Berlioz.

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# Let me tell you, brother

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# She's been sleeping in the devil's bed... #

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-Something about witches. She's sleeping in the devil's bed...

-Next.

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# She's gone where the goblins go! Below, below, below... #

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BELL

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-Witches.

-Is the right answer.

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What did we hear?

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The first one was...

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It's from Symphonie Fantastique by Berlioz. The Witches' Sabbath.

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-Dream Of A Witches' Sabbath. Very well done.

-Yeah.

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The last one must have been The Wizard Of Oz, was it?

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-It was The Wizard Of Oz.

-Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead.

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-Was that Witchy Woman?

-Witchy Woman from the Eagles.

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And the second clue?

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Can't even remember that.

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Bloc Party. Hunting For Witches.

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Very well done. Do you know any witches?

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-Ha.

-Not personally.

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But...our great-great-grandmother

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once saw a nanny person change herself into white hare

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and run through all the pots and pans in the kitchen cupboard

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without breaking any of them.

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Well, that's conclusive! If anything is.

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Yeah. I mean, our mother told us.

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And that means at the end of Round One,

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the Parishioners have two points,

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the Meeples have four.

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On to Round Two. The Sequences Round.

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Parishioners, you'll go first again. Which hieroglyph would you like?

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We'll stick with the Eye of Hours.

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The Eye of Horus. I'll be showing you the first in a sequence.

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What do you think the fourth clue would be?

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Your time starts now.

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1st: 100.

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Next please.

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2nd: 500.

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What are the Roman numerals?

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Er... C...

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And the Roman numeral for 500 is...

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..D.

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Er... C, D...

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Next, please.

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3rd: 1.

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C, D, I. It's not especially helpful.

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Er... Anything at all, Tracey?

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-No...

-C, D, I...

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So, the fourth is going to be

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a numeral, might be a Roman numeral.

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Er, C, D, I...

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-It's going to be the next in the alphabet, which is...

-Two seconds.

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BELL

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So, we think it is 4th: 50.

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Is the right answer. Very well done.

0:12:260:12:29

You spotted the sequence really early. What is happening here?

0:12:290:12:32

So we're moving...

0:12:320:12:33

We've got Roman numerals, but it's their alphabetical position.

0:12:330:12:35

So the first Roman numeral, if you write them all alphabetically,

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-is C for 100.

-Uh-huh.

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Second is D for 500.

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The third is I for 1.

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And the fourth, then, fluke at the last minute, is L for 50.

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That's exactly right. Perfectly explained.

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Well done.

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Back to you, Meeples, for a choice.

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-Horned Viper, please.

-The Horned Viper. OK.

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These are going to be picture clues.

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What sort of thing would you expect in the fourth picture?

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Here's the first.

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Hm. I don't know who that is.

0:13:010:13:03

THEY CONFER

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19th century. No, don't know. Next.

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Um, male and female. Could again mean to embrace...

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Could be anything at all.

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Next.

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-Six.

-Six. VI.

0:13:210:13:23

Er...

0:13:230:13:25

Um...

0:13:250:13:27

So could it be...? Oh, Sax. Sex. Six.

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-Sox?

-Like the Red Sox.

-Yeah.

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Yeah. OK.

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BELL

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-Er, the Boston Red Sox.

-Is exactly the answer we chose ourselves.

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-What is happening here?

-That's Sox.

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The previous one, VI, Roman numeral six.

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The second one is a representation of sex.

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-So the first one must be Adolphe Sax?

-It's Adolphe Sax.

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And the clue is he is holding a saxophone there in the picture.

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He invented the saxophone.

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Yes, I like the picture they chose to indicate sex. Quite right.

0:13:550:13:58

This isn't Channel 4! That's how we indicate sex. And, yes,

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another alphabetical one,

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but this time English letters.

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A, E, I and the next vowel, O.

0:14:040:14:06

The Boston Red Sox, a very good example.

0:14:060:14:09

Parishioners, what would you like?

0:14:090:14:10

We'll go for the Lion, please.

0:14:100:14:12

The Lion. DING!

0:14:120:14:14

Oh. What a treat. It's a music sequence.

0:14:140:14:17

I wonder what piece of music will come fourth.

0:14:170:14:21

Here's the first.

0:14:210:14:23

# Na na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na... #

0:14:230:14:25

THEY CONFER

0:14:250:14:27

# Na-na-na-na

0:14:270:14:29

# Need somebody to help me say it one time

0:14:290:14:31

# Na na-na-na-na... #

0:14:310:14:33

Next, please.

0:14:330:14:34

# Meet at parties through the friends of friends

0:14:340:14:36

# Who they never know

0:14:360:14:38

# Will you pick me up, or do I meet you there, or shall we let it go?

0:14:380:14:42

# Did you get my message? Cos I looked in vain... #

0:14:420:14:44

Next, please.

0:14:440:14:45

# Cos we love our love

0:14:450:14:47

# In different sizes

0:14:470:14:49

# I love her body... #

0:14:490:14:51

So we've got Perfect 10.

0:14:510:14:52

It's whether we count down or count up.

0:14:520:14:54

# Time takes its toll

0:14:540:14:56

# But not on the eyes

0:14:560:14:59

# Promise me... #

0:14:590:15:00

Two seconds. BELL

0:15:000:15:02

West End Girls by the Pet Shop Boys.

0:15:020:15:04

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

0:15:040:15:05

So, Meeples, you want to have a go for a bonus?

0:15:050:15:07

I Am The One And Only by Chesney Hawkes.

0:15:070:15:09

Exactly the example that we WOULD have chosen ourselves.

0:15:090:15:13

-What is the sequence?

-Going down by powers of 10.

0:15:130:15:15

Um, so Hugh is the one who actually knows what these all are.

0:15:150:15:19

-Perfect 10?

-Perfect 10 -

0:15:190:15:20

Beautiful South, isn't it? - was the third one.

0:15:200:15:22

Second one, is that Another Hundred People from Company?

0:15:220:15:25

Yes, it is, from Company. Sondheim.

0:15:250:15:26

And the first one was Land Of A Thousand Dances which, I think,

0:15:260:15:30

is Solomon Burke?

0:15:300:15:31

-Wilson Pickett.

-Ah!

0:15:310:15:32

But that's right. We are dividing by 10 each time,

0:15:320:15:34

so we wanted an example of one.

0:15:340:15:36

We would have chosen The One And Only. We haven't got it.

0:15:360:15:38

We literally don't have it in our collection,

0:15:380:15:40

so in order to explain to the viewers what we mean by that song,

0:15:400:15:42

we're going to have to recreate it ourselves.

0:15:420:15:44

I'm looking forward to this tremendously.

0:15:440:15:46

One, two, three!

0:15:460:15:48

# I am the one and only

0:15:480:15:51

# Nobody I'd rather be

0:15:510:15:55

# I am the one and only

0:15:550:15:58

# You can't take that away from me. #

0:15:580:16:02

Oh, this is the happiest I've been all series! That was beautiful.

0:16:020:16:06

We had a bit of harmonising as well. That was absolutely lovely! Lovely!

0:16:060:16:11

Why don't we just forget the rest of the quiz and just sing? Fantastic.

0:16:110:16:16

But we'd better have another question, I suppose.

0:16:160:16:18

That is the idea of the thing.

0:16:180:16:20

Meeples, what would you like?

0:16:200:16:21

-Water, please.

-Water. OK.

0:16:210:16:23

What would come fourth in this sequence?

0:16:230:16:25

Here's the first.

0:16:250:16:26

A spirit, a shade?

0:16:280:16:30

Next.

0:16:310:16:32

Rain?

0:16:350:16:36

-Snow?

-Oh...

0:16:360:16:39

-Um...

-Or hail.

-Hail?

0:16:390:16:41

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-An angel.

-Yeah.

0:16:410:16:44

Next.

0:16:440:16:45

Oh...

0:16:470:16:48

Um... To console somebody.

0:16:480:16:51

So to...to help them, to...

0:16:510:16:53

THEY CONFER

0:16:530:16:55

Um, er...

0:16:570:16:59

THEY CONFER

0:16:590:17:00

Um...

0:17:000:17:02

When you give them a pat?

0:17:020:17:04

Two seconds.

0:17:040:17:05

BELL

0:17:050:17:06

Um...

0:17:080:17:10

No, I can't come up with something, sorry.

0:17:100:17:12

There's a bonus chance for you, Parishioners.

0:17:120:17:14

We think it might be peanuts.

0:17:140:17:17

It's not peanuts. A ghostly being.

0:17:170:17:19

-For example, a spectre.

-Oh.

0:17:190:17:23

Something dropping from the heavens.

0:17:230:17:25

-Skyfall.

-Oh!

0:17:250:17:26

A discrete unit of consolation.

0:17:260:17:28

Obviously, a phrase we all use daily, a quantum of solace.

0:17:280:17:31

We are going backwards through

0:17:310:17:33

Daniel Craig's Bond films towards...?

0:17:330:17:35

-Casino Royale.

-Casino Royale.

0:17:350:17:37

A gambling place of a regal nature.

0:17:370:17:40

Casino Royale. That's what we were looking for.

0:17:400:17:42

Parishioners, back to you for a choice.

0:17:420:17:44

We will try Two Reeds, please.

0:17:440:17:46

Two Reeds. OK. What would come fourth in this sequence?

0:17:460:17:49

Here's the first.

0:17:490:17:51

pH scale...

0:17:510:17:52

THEY CONFER

0:17:520:17:55

-Down to 14.

-Down to 14.

0:17:550:17:56

-Next, next.

-14. OK, next, please.

0:17:560:17:58

Friedrich's younger siblings

0:18:000:18:02

-in The Sound Of Music.

-Oh, gosh.

0:18:020:18:03

-Tracey?

-Er...

0:18:030:18:05

-Yeah, Tracey?

-Four, maybe.

0:18:050:18:08

-Go next.

-Next, please.

0:18:100:18:12

-Beaufort scale.

-To seven?

0:18:130:18:15

To 12, I think. 14, 13, 12, 11...

0:18:150:18:18

There aren't 13 younger siblings...

0:18:180:18:19

-There's seven kids.

-..in The Sound Of Music.

-So it's five.

0:18:190:18:22

-There's only five or four younger siblings.

-Five, seven.

0:18:220:18:24

-What's the next one?

-Beaufort scale...

0:18:240:18:27

-Er...

-Two seconds.

0:18:270:18:28

BELL

0:18:280:18:29

We are going to go with the Richter scale.

0:18:290:18:32

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

0:18:320:18:33

Meeples, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

0:18:330:18:35

We're going to try Spinal Tap's amplifier.

0:18:350:18:37

Is the right answer. You're going to be kicking yourselves over there.

0:18:370:18:41

Why is that the right answer?

0:18:410:18:42

-Cos they go to 11.

-It goes up to 11.

0:18:420:18:44

-The pH scale goes up...?

-14.

0:18:440:18:46

-The Beaufort scale goes up to...?

-12.

0:18:460:18:49

Now, the younger siblings in The Sound Of Music, yes.

0:18:490:18:51

Friedrich doesn't have 13 younger siblings,

0:18:510:18:54

but their AGES go up to 13.

0:18:540:18:56

Remember that scene where they all step forward?

0:18:560:18:58

You're Gretl and you're five years old. And Louisa is 13.

0:18:580:19:02

And then Friedrich is 14.

0:19:020:19:04

-And Liesl is, of course...?

-16, going on 17.

-16, going on 17.

0:19:040:19:08

Exactly so. So, they go up to 13 before you get to Friedrich in age.

0:19:080:19:13

-Ah.

-Well done.

0:19:130:19:15

You get that bonus point,

0:19:150:19:17

and the last question of the round, the Twisted Flax.

0:19:170:19:19

What will come fourth in this sequence?

0:19:190:19:21

Here's the first.

0:19:210:19:22

There's another one, isn't there? There's another one in Duran Duran.

0:19:240:19:28

Next.

0:19:280:19:29

Tennis players who got to Wimbledon.

0:19:310:19:33

British tennis players who got to certain stages of Wimbledon.

0:19:330:19:36

The next one is going to be... Andy Murray?

0:19:360:19:38

-Are we brave enough to do that? I think we are.

-Yeah, go on.

0:19:380:19:40

BELL

0:19:400:19:42

Andy Murray.

0:19:420:19:43

I'm afraid that is not a sequence.

0:19:430:19:46

So, I'm going to show the third in the sequence to

0:19:460:19:48

the Parishioners for a possible bonus point.

0:19:480:19:51

We would say Tim Henman.

0:19:510:19:53

That is not it either.

0:19:530:19:55

Before we reveal the answer, I will tell you that the sequence is.

0:19:550:19:58

-They are captains of GB Davis Cup teams.

-Oh.

0:19:580:20:02

-So do you know it would be?

-Greg Rusedski?

0:20:020:20:05

Leon Smith. Leon Smith will be the next captain

0:20:050:20:08

of the Great Britain Davis Cup.

0:20:080:20:11

And they won in November 2015.

0:20:110:20:13

Who was on the team by then?

0:20:130:20:15

-Andy Murray.

-Andy Murray.

0:20:150:20:17

That means, at the end of Round Two,

0:20:170:20:19

the Parishioners have four points,

0:20:190:20:21

the Meeples have eight.

0:20:210:20:22

Connecting Wall time now. And, Meeples, it will be you to go first.

0:20:240:20:28

So, please choose Lion or Water.

0:20:280:20:30

-Lion, please.

-OK.

0:20:300:20:32

You have two and a half minutes to solve the Lion Wall starting now.

0:20:320:20:36

-OK.

-Albee is...

-Oh, er...

-American playwright.

-American playwright.

0:20:380:20:42

-So is Miller.

-Miller.

0:20:420:20:43

So, Simon and...

0:20:430:20:45

THEY CONFER

0:20:460:20:47

-Hellman or Wilson.

-Could well be.

0:20:470:20:50

Um...

0:20:500:20:52

-Beetle? Elephant beetle. Goliath beetle.

-Yes, you're right.

0:20:520:20:55

-Elephant shrew.

-I think they are sports names.

-Good.

-Goliath.

0:20:550:20:59

-Treble... Like...

-White wedding. White trash. White flag.

0:20:590:21:03

-Yes.

-That's what it is.

-OK.

0:21:030:21:04

-White flag as well.

-White...?

-White elephant.

0:21:040:21:06

-White knuckle.

-White knuckle.

0:21:060:21:08

OK. Well, I will try that and think more about...

0:21:080:21:11

You've got the sports teams.

0:21:110:21:13

THEY CONFER

0:21:150:21:17

-OK.

-Three lives now.

0:21:180:21:19

-"Bee" and "moth" in there...

-Yeah, very good.

-Yes.

0:21:190:21:22

..in Mammoth. "Fly." And Elephant. So, what does that leave us?

0:21:220:21:25

Elephant shrew, but... OK, fine.

0:21:250:21:27

Something else. Yankee... It is the sports teams, isn't it?

0:21:270:21:31

-What on earth is Briefly?

-It's got "fly" in.

0:21:310:21:33

Sorry. Oh, I see what you mean.

0:21:330:21:35

-What has Treble got in it? Sports team?

-Treble.

0:21:350:21:38

It's got to be a sports team.

0:21:380:21:40

"Rebel." It's got "rebel"...

0:21:400:21:41

Well, not spelled rightly, no.

0:21:410:21:44

So... Bee. Moth.

0:21:440:21:45

Fly. And...

0:21:450:21:47

What?

0:21:470:21:49

Um... Bee. Moth. Fly. And...

0:21:490:21:52

-Ant.

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, yes. That's it.

0:21:520:21:54

Yankee, Goliath, Treble, Alphabet...

0:21:540:21:57

..are... Yankee is the only one that is part of the...

0:21:570:22:00

..later half of that.

0:22:000:22:01

THEY CONFER

0:22:010:22:03

Alphabet... No.

0:22:030:22:05

Um... Phoenician? I mean, Goliath was a giant

0:22:050:22:08

from that part of the world.

0:22:080:22:10

Greek? Um, named after letters of the alphabet?

0:22:110:22:15

I have no idea about sports teams.

0:22:150:22:17

Goliath - where does it come from?

0:22:170:22:18

-30 seconds.

-Yeah, let's just...

0:22:180:22:21

-Yeah, I mean, it's up to you.

-We might not be right about that.

0:22:210:22:24

-Shall we just go...?

-Yeah, just go for it.

0:22:240:22:27

Any more ideas?

0:22:270:22:28

Er...

0:22:280:22:30

That's it. You've solved the Wall. Very well done.

0:22:300:22:32

So, four points for the groups. And what about the connections?

0:22:320:22:35

Simon, Wilson, Miller, Hellman.

0:22:350:22:38

-American playwrights.

-That's right.

0:22:380:22:39

Arthur Miller. August Wilson.

0:22:390:22:41

Lillian Hellman. Neil Simon.

0:22:410:22:42

20th-century American playwrights.

0:22:420:22:45

And the green group, starting "trash"?

0:22:450:22:47

They can all be preceded by "white".

0:22:470:22:49

They can. White trash, white flag,

0:22:490:22:51

white knuckle, white wedding are those expressions.

0:22:510:22:53

And what about the next group?

0:22:530:22:55

They all end in words for insects.

0:22:550:22:58

That's right. Mammoth has "moth" at the end. "Ant" in Elephant.

0:22:580:23:01

"Bee" in Albee. "Fly" in Briefly. Very well done.

0:23:010:23:04

And the turquoise group. Yankee. Goliath. Travel. Alphabet.

0:23:040:23:07

-We'll try sports teams.

-That's not it.

0:23:070:23:10

It is not unconnected with sport. It's about betting.

0:23:100:23:13

A treble is when you bet on three horses.

0:23:130:23:15

And then these other ones are sort of more and more bets.

0:23:150:23:17

A goliath is, I think, 247 bets,

0:23:170:23:20

something like that - you can win a lot of money.

0:23:200:23:22

Or lose a lot of money! They are betting terms.

0:23:220:23:25

But you found four groups. Very well done.

0:23:250:23:27

Three points for the connections.

0:23:270:23:28

We will bring in the Parishioners now. Give them the other wall,

0:23:280:23:31

the Water Wall, and see how they get on.

0:23:310:23:33

Two and a half minutes to solve this wall...starting now.

0:23:330:23:37

OK, we've got...

0:23:380:23:40

Swanky.

0:23:400:23:41

We've got...

0:23:410:23:43

Shadow. Coconut. Supreme.

0:23:430:23:44

Things for your head.

0:23:440:23:46

Dome. Crown. Noddle.

0:23:460:23:48

-Coconut?

-Yeah.

-Could try that.

-Yeah.

0:23:480:23:50

-Onion?

-Onion sounds good for that.

0:23:520:23:54

What else have we got? Doughnut.

0:23:540:23:56

You've got some backing groups.

0:23:560:23:58

-Somebody and the Wailers.

-Right.

0:23:580:24:00

So, Booker T and the Wailers?

0:24:000:24:01

Somebody and the Shadows.

0:24:010:24:03

-The Shadows.

-Miracles.

-Supremes.

0:24:030:24:05

-Yeah.

-Before we do anything else, let's just have a look at the rest,

0:24:050:24:08

just in case. Er...

0:24:080:24:10

Crown. Over. Agency. Railway.

0:24:100:24:12

Village. Er...

0:24:120:24:14

Supremes. Then we've got two groups left.

0:24:140:24:17

-OK.

-Three lives now.

-Let's be careful.

-Plenty of time.

0:24:170:24:20

Crown. Theory. Village.

0:24:200:24:22

Dover. Railway.

0:24:220:24:24

Swanky... "Swan." Swanky swan?

0:24:240:24:26

-Sorry?

-Swan. Dove.

0:24:260:24:28

-Swan. Dove.

-Crow. And... Wait now.

0:24:280:24:31

-Cos I don't know what the last one will be.

-A rail is a bird.

0:24:310:24:34

-It's a kind of water reed thingy.

-OK, so what are the others, then?

0:24:340:24:37

So, in which case we've got...

0:24:370:24:38

Village... Big bang... No.

0:24:380:24:40

Theory... Theory test. No.

0:24:400:24:41

-Theory test.

-T.

-Village People.

0:24:410:24:43

Something agency.

0:24:430:24:45

Environment Agency. Global agency.

0:24:450:24:47

-Global theory?

-Global village?

0:24:470:24:48

-Global T? Have I made that up?

-I don't know.

0:24:480:24:51

-Do any more of these begin with birds?

-I don't know.

0:24:510:24:54

THEY CONFER

0:24:540:24:56

T-H... T-H...

0:24:560:24:58

I don't know. What would...?

0:24:590:25:01

-I think we should...

-Go for it.

-What's the worst that could happen?

0:25:010:25:04

You solved the wall!

0:25:040:25:05

A very good thing happening.

0:25:050:25:07

And what about the connections?

0:25:070:25:09

Dome. Noddle. Coconut. Onion.

0:25:090:25:12

-These are all synonyms for your head.

-Slang terms.

0:25:120:25:15

Slang terms for the head. Exactly so.

0:25:150:25:17

What about the green group, starting "wailer"?

0:25:170:25:19

They are all members of backing groups

0:25:190:25:21

-of pop singers.

-That's right.

0:25:210:25:23

You can add an S to make them members of backing bands.

0:25:230:25:25

And what about the next group? Railway. Crown. Dover. Swanky.

0:25:250:25:29

Tracey says these all begin with birds.

0:25:290:25:31

-They begin with birds.

-Swan. Dove. Crow. Rail.

-That's right.

0:25:310:25:35

And the last, turquoise group.

0:25:350:25:36

Agency. T. Village. Theory.

0:25:360:25:39

The only thing we've got here is to say "global"

0:25:390:25:42

goes before each of them

0:25:420:25:43

but you're not smiling.

0:25:430:25:44

-Model is the word.

-Oh!

-The Model T Ford.

0:25:440:25:47

A model agency. Model village, of course.

0:25:470:25:49

And model theory.

0:25:490:25:50

But you found four groups and you got three more for the connections.

0:25:500:25:53

Let's have a look at the scores.

0:25:530:25:55

The Parishioners have 11 points.

0:25:550:25:57

The Meeples have 15.

0:25:570:25:59

Time for the Missing Vowels Round now.

0:26:020:26:04

This will decide who stays and who goes.

0:26:040:26:06

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

0:26:060:26:08

I can tell you that the first group are all...

0:26:080:26:10

Parishioners.

0:26:150:26:16

-Buffalo wings.

-Correct.

0:26:160:26:18

Meeples.

0:26:190:26:20

-Chicken Kiev.

-Yes, it is.

0:26:200:26:22

Meeples.

0:26:240:26:25

-Jerusalem artichoke.

-Correct.

0:26:250:26:27

Parishioners.

0:26:300:26:31

-Baked Alaska.

-I'm hungry. Next category...

0:26:310:26:33

Parishioners.

0:26:380:26:39

Born On The Fourth Of August.

0:26:390:26:41

Instead of July. Correct.

0:26:410:26:42

Meeples.

0:26:440:26:45

-The Hunt For Red November.

-Well done.

0:26:450:26:47

Meeples.

0:26:490:26:50

-September: Osage County.

-Yes, it is.

0:26:500:26:53

Meeples.

0:26:570:26:58

-The Ides Of April.

-Correct. Next category...

0:26:580:27:00

Parishioners.

0:27:030:27:05

-Swahili.

-Yes, it is.

0:27:050:27:06

Parishioners.

0:27:090:27:10

-Yurbu?

-Not it, I'm afraid.

0:27:100:27:12

Meeples, do you know?

0:27:120:27:14

It's Yoruba from Nigeria. Next clue.

0:27:140:27:16

Parishioners.

0:27:190:27:20

-Zulu.

-That's it.

0:27:200:27:21

Meeples.

0:27:240:27:25

-Afrikaans.

-Correct.

0:27:250:27:26

Next category...

0:27:260:27:28

Meeples.

0:27:310:27:32

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

-Correct.

0:27:320:27:34

Meeples.

0:27:360:27:37

-The Maltese Falcon.

-Correct.

0:27:370:27:39

Very well done. I'm sorry about that birds category, Tracey.

0:27:410:27:44

-I was a bit...

-I hope you weren't terrified.

0:27:440:27:47

But it's all right, because the bell has gone for the end of the quiz.

0:27:470:27:50

And looking at the final scores, I can tell you that the winners,

0:27:500:27:52

and through to the next round with 23 points, are the Meeples.

0:27:520:27:55

Very well done.

0:27:550:27:57

And a noble second-place finish with

0:27:570:27:59

15 points, the Parishioners.

0:27:590:28:01

Parishioners, thank you so much for coming. You've been a lovely team.

0:28:010:28:04

Some beautiful singing voices that, Lord knows,

0:28:040:28:07

we will miss later in the competition. Thank you for playing.

0:28:070:28:10

And, Meeples, very well done. We will see you later in the series.

0:28:100:28:14

Please join me next time for another episode of the quiz

0:28:140:28:17

so clever it only eats Cyrillic alphabetti spaghetti.

0:28:170:28:21

Goodbye.

0:28:210:28:22

Victoria Coren Mitchell hosts the series where knowledge will only take you so far. Patience and lateral thinking are also vital.

Two teams of round two losers return for their last chance to stay in the competition. The Meeples and Parishioners compete to find the connections between things which, at first glance, seem utterly random. So join Victoria Coren Mitchell if you want to know what connects Blockbusters, Rorke's Drift, Fox and Geese and Ice hockey power play.